/tg/Station 13

I'd like to make a proper write-up about this in response to the drama that just happened. This will be a long read, so please look through all that I have to say.

Umbrage did not start several months ago. It started almost two years ago, when the pull request to revert shadowlings was merged. I knew that I had made many mistakes with the gamemode, but I still liked it. I liked my concept and wanted to do more with it. But tg was sick of shadowling, so I instead decided to finish a mode that vg never did: clockcult. That is another story but to make it short it was merged and I think it did reasonably well given how shadowling was originally received.

Several months ago I decided that I was going to work on shadowlings again. I put the initial code in place and day by day made a sort of pseudo-shadowling. Conversion would not be their primarily goal but would still hold a key place in the gamemode. After a while, a core idea formed, and I edited this forum thread to a question to the players asking if they would like shadowlings back to a design commentary and update feed about the new version of the gamemode which I called umbrage. I was very excited for it. Other people were excited for it as well. I wanted umbrage to fill the niche that shadowlings did not and worked mindful of how the conversion was received. When inevitably it was complained about, I decided to move it to play a smaller role. At this time, I had not been informed of a "conversion mode ban" that apparently exists so I continued to work on it.

When I made the pull request is when the problems started. KorPhaeron was the main person to dislike the mode and brought up very valid concerns about conversion. I continued to make changes, although maybe not as actively as I would have liked, as I still wanted conversion to be a part of the mode. We had our disagreements and he clearly dislikes me but I soldiered on. I thought enough people liked the mode and wanted it back that it would be okay in his and the other maintainers' eyes if it was merged despite some complaints. And if it was bad oh well. I could always make a change, tweak stuff, or even do a revert if need be.

For the better part of three months now I had been working on umbrage in my spare time. It took up a lot of my schedule and I looked forward to continuing it a good bit. This went on until today when Korphaeron announced that he would be closing the pull request if I did not remove conversion. An argument ensued and I lost my cool and became very passive aggressive, but razharas pointed it out and I retired for a little bit to gather my thoughts. When i came back I talked some more about the issue although I was not going to remove conversion unless I had to. In the end mrstonedone said that I should work on the mode until it got to a testmergeable stage so I decided I would do that.

Then I had to go because my wow guild needed me to raid. When we finished up later I was removed (i'm undergeared so I just tag along for farm nights) and came back to find that my pr was closed. I was upset by this but I figured that I could ask why and talk about what had happened that warranted it being closed. I went in coderbus and asked (yes, angrily) why it was closed and was told dismissively by oranges that because I had not agreed to korphaeron (design lead)s decisions that it had been closed and that I was being a whiny bitch (quote oranges).

After that I left coderbus and deleted the branch, made the above posts and sat down for twenty or so minutes to reflect on things.

I am not attempting to garner sympathy for myself but only to state a fact. I have shed tears over what happened today and I am not ashamed to admit it. As corny as it may sound, I was truly happy about this and I can tell that all but a select few were at least indifferent to it too. This project was a three-month labor of love and to see it so suddenly and dismissively destroyed by a small minority who think that it might cause problems cut very deep. I do not think that it is a wound that will heal for a very long time and, forgive me if this sounds like its too much out of a hollywood movie, but I will never forgive oranges and kor for doing what they did today.

This being said, I would like to save my opinions for last on this matter.

Korphaeron is without a doubt one of the worst maintainers/headmins that I have seen. Many times he has shown me that he does not care about what the players think and holds his own opinion above all others. Because he disagreed with me he used his position as a "design lead" to shoot me down and I hate him for it. Kor has shown disdain to me as long as I can remember and I will never see him in a positive light for a long time after this.

Oranges is what is wrong with tg. It has been a very long time since he has made a project of this scale or even played the game but he continues to do this. he constantly sucks up to the maintainers, being one himself, and freely closes prs and bans people that he does not like or simply because he believes that it is funny. I have no idea how he got to the position he is in but I hope that someone will see what they are doing and remove them from being a maintainer.

Here are my concluding thoughts. I spent a lot of time on this mode because I really liked making it and I wanted to see people like playing it too. I know that there are problems as this is not my first rodeo in gamemodes and I was willing to fix them but I didnt want to forfeit a feature just because one person didnt like it and I hoped that the player vote would override it. It seems however that kor, who is claimed as design lead yet does nothing more than make unfinished projects and close other peoples, did not want it in the game and so he offered me an ultimatum that the host himself rejected, but I was overriden by oranges who called me childish and ignorant despite being the one to close my pull rqeuest with "lol" beforehand. And even today there is no clear evidence of a conversion ban outside of the key circle of maintainers that seem to agree amongst themselves that it exists.

Again. I have wept over this mode because it was a labor of love to me. I know you are probably rolling your eyes but I really wanted this to succeed. I knew there would be problems and I would have fixed them. To everyone who has stuck with me and contributed to the mode, thank you very much. I really appreciate what you did to help. To everyone who believed in me, thank you for thinking that umbrage could be great. To everyone who disliked the mode from the beginning, you are okay too. You have a right to your opinion. To kor and oranges, despite all that I have said about you, I do not hate you as people and I hope that you will consider one day letting me continue work on this project again despite its flaws.

Thank you guys for giving me a chance. I am sorry that I wasnt able to do what I promised in the end and I accept that it is my full responsibility that I have failed you. if you are wondering if I will continue this or not I probably wont. I will not code for a long time I think, or maybe just go back tomorrow. I need a break but I don't know how long I need.