/tg/Station 13

Bottom post of the previous page:

>decide to try and find the white ship on my way to the station from the derelict
>lost literally for the entire round in space

How on Earth did you manage this?

I forgot which way to travel from the abandoned teleporter to find it so I decided straight north from the furthermost west point and then I literally never saw the teleporter again for 15 minutes despite all common sense, so I started fire extinguishing my way around every few minutes or so, hoping to bump into something.

Venticular wrote:

Xhuis wrote:

InsaneHyena wrote:fury

tbh a botanist who commits suicide roundstart deserves what they get if there was a cook
if there was no no cook then you're good

Well, the thing is, the cook is basically useless as of now.

Hunger takes more than an hour to take effect, which is longer than an average round is.
So, right now, the cook's only usefulness right now is for gibbing shadowlings and revheads and shit. Honestly he should have been fine either way.

Yeah, how dare I try to have fun with a role since 90% the botanists either ain't there, go away, or refuse to help you and do pretty much anything other than food.
And that's before a healing virus is released, and the cure is nutrition.

And some people wondered why did I made a guide about being chef without anyone in hydroponics.

I'm not really salty over this, I think it's just hilarious and pathetic though.

> Be borg
> AI has 0 law, objective is to kill the cook
> But AI doesn't want to do the usual murderbone spiel and instead wants to have an army of Janiborgs to lube up the station and blackmail the crew into killing the cook.
> Of course we assumed that we would fail, but it was a fun idea anyway.
> After a long time we finally get a second borg and since nobody else wanted to be borged we started lubing up the station...
> ... but our conditions were almost instantly met by the crew and the Cook was (already?) dead.
> So we declared peace with the crew and even tried to help them catch other traitor.
> But oh no no no no, not if Oldman Robustin is around, there're valids to be had!
> I just asked for a module change so I could change to be a Mediborg but...
> ... Oldman went out of his way to get a second robo console board (RD office console was blown up) and blew the borgs for no other reason than him being allowed to do that.
> And then he hid inside an EVA storage unit like the coward he is. And that was the majority of his shift.
> But at least AI had fun with this and called for his head and all.
> After a long time the AI managed to get fullout malf with Delta alert and all.
> While Crew puts up an effort to defeat the AI Oldman whined from his storage unit about how nobody prepared any countermeasures and how the shuttle wasn't launched early.
> Though they did somehow managed to kill the AI last minute or so.
> AI still greentexted because APC backup.

And I knew this would happen, I saw him desperately trying to break into the RD office earlier, sweat pearling on his forehead at the thought of getting his valids.

And like I said, I'm not really mad and I know it was valid, I just think it's really sad that he's so predictable.

capi duffman wrote:

Venticular wrote:

Xhuis wrote:

InsaneHyena wrote:fury

tbh a botanist who commits suicide roundstart deserves what they get if there was a cook
if there was no no cook then you're good

Well, the thing is, the cook is basically useless as of now.

Hunger takes more than an hour to take effect, which is longer than an average round is.
So, right now, the cook's only usefulness right now is for gibbing shadowlings and revheads and shit. Honestly he should have been fine either way.

Yeah, how dare I try to have fun with a role since 90% the botanists either ain't there, go away, or refuse to help you and do pretty much anything other than food.
And that's before a healing virus is released, and the cure is nutrition.

And some people wondered why did I made a guide about being chef without anyone in hydroponics.

That's not what I'm trying to say at all.

For example, me and lots of people enjoy playing the chaplain, even though their only practical use is during the occasional Revenant round. Other than that, their only use is in roleplay.
I don't agree with the current coding of hunger. I think it should play a more important factor in gameplay, like it used to. As of right now, the cook is like the chaplain: they have practical use in gameplay sometimes, but other times they have no practical use other than roleplay.

Also, Nutrition is no longer a cure for viruses. It has been replaced by salt.

dionysus24779 wrote:saw that one coming

Are you really surprised? This is ForcefulCJS.

>Traitor cargo tech on metastation
>Steal advanced magboots and kill some scientist
>Okaythen
>Fuck off to dorms
>Buy a chameleon kit, thermals, emag, AI multitool and the bag of hiding stuff underneath floors
>Plant the bag in the cow pen room under a floortile
>Try to match previous outfit using chameleon outfit
>Jumpsuit doesn't update properly when changing appearance
>Okaythen
>Start hanging around near engineering, using thermals disguised as thermals to peek around inside
>No CE, most engineers are busy with other duties
>Disguise myself into an engineer
>Emag my way into engineering, hide in one of the lockers in the entrance as a random engineer wanders in and out
>Do the same with the CE's office and locker, grab the blueprints and move back to my stash area
>Drop the blueprints into the stash, realize I grabbed the wrong item
>Disguise as an engineer again, this time with a hardsuit because fuck this jumpsuit
>Walk in, check the CE locker again
>Realize I'm an idiot and the magboots are inside of suit storage
>Grab magboots, briefly consider taking the rest of the hardsuit but I'm trying to stay low so screw that
>Back to the stash, drop the boots in there
>Start wandering around maint, emagging the occasional door into a department in the hopes that it'll create a bit of chaos
>Come across the remains of a scientist in maint blocked off by security holograms
>Welp, that's probably my target
>Continue messing about emagging doors and trying to stealthily incite chaos
>Eventually decide to drop the emag and multitool into my stash in-case security gets curious
>Come across a magical carp transforming people at random
>Person gets turned into a sentinel, proceeds to drag another guy off to dorms
>Decide to follow
>The sentinel asks me if I can lift the toilet cover, proceeds to give the guy swirlies before devouring him and jumping into a nearby vent
>Follow the sentinel to a small room in maintenance above the dorms
>Guy gets spit out, runs away
>Sentinel grabs me, stripping me near-naked and devouring me
>Fuck
>Scream for help over the radio, get taken to the same toilet and given swirlies
>Sentinel gets lasered
>Naked with only my headset and thermals on me
>See the detective grab my clothing from the maint room
>Can't get in because I don't have my ID
>Can't grab my emag because I don't have a crowbar
>Look for the detective, calling him over the radio
>Shuttle docks, finally find the detective
>Oh hello beepsk- OH GOD WHY ARE YOU CHASING ME
>Stunned and cuffed
>Detective discovered the secret of my uniform
>Shuttle brigged, magboots are still in the stash together with my emag, multitool and blueprints
>Round ends
>Scientist remains were from someone else, target is still alive even though I haven't seen them all round long

I'm not sure what I expected, getting traitor on one of my first rounds of being back.

>spawn as changeling miner
>take out and absorb the other miner early on
>come back to the station
>find out CMO ling needs the station blueprints and I need the advanced magboots so we work together
>chief engineer is in the medbay, CMO chlorals him and we drag him into maint
>absorb his DNA and assume the role of the CE
>a few minutes later see the HoS and tell him I saw some blood in maint, asks me to lead him to it
>the plan was for me to paralyze/silence him in maint then the CMO would chloral him
>do my job, drag him into the room with the CMO and assume he chloraled the HoS
>a few seconds later HoS stands up and it took me so off guard I lose all robustness and get tased
>HoS drags me to incenerator while another Sec officer deals with the CMO
>turns out the CMO's Internet went out for a few seconds right as I entered the room with the HoS

What a disappointing round.

AngryTurnip wrote:>spawn as changeling miner
>take out and absorb the other miner early on
>come back to the station
>find out CMO ling needs the station blueprints and I need the advanced magboots so we work together
>chief engineer is in the medbay, CMO chlorals him and we drag him into maint
>absorb his DNA and assume the role of the CE
>a few minutes later see the HoS and tell him I saw some blood in maint, asks me to lead him to it
>the plan was for me to paralyze/silence him in maint then the CMO would chloral him
>do my job, drag him into the room with the CMO and assume he chloraled the HoS
>a few seconds later HoS stands up and it took me so off guard I lose all robustness and get tased
>HoS drags me to incenerator while another Sec officer deals with the CMO
>turns out the CMO's Internet went out for a few seconds right as I entered the room with the HoS

What a disappointing round.

wait what lings have been re-activated?

They were never deactivated on basil. It sucks, fukken lings

Oh, this was on the /vg/ server.

oh ok, good. lings were awful.

Changelings are gone? Why?

Reece wrote:Changelings are gone? Why?

Cos changelings were shit.
Weaksauce, frustrating bullshit.

Changelings are gone? Why?

Because nobody enjoyed two hour rounds, where changeling slowly, slowly murderboned everyone and recalled the shuttle for ten thousand times until every ling did his objective. Even changelings didn't enjoy changeling rounds.

Eh. I didn't mind them so long as the Ling acted all sneaky sneaky and tried Rp'ing. I once got the HOS to murder one of his officers as a ling via radio dickery. But I can see how they can become annoying.

> Log in as Donald Trump, the captain.
> My gimmick is gonna be the election.
> Demand that the station divides into the parties, nominates the candidates.
> Eventually, CABAL, Baron von Honks, Reiyo Fluke and some CE are nominated.
> It's rev, turns out. Don't care, I have my gimmick.
> RADIATION
> Hide in the captain's office maint.
> Get irradiated anyways.
> Get all sorts of !FUN! mutations that turn me into barelly functional wreck of a spessman. I have epilepsy, deafness, tourettes and god knows what else.
> Don't know the results of the elections because of this shit.
> Eventually the AI messages me that the clown won.
> Barely get to genetics for pills.
> Garithos Humes immediately tases me, cuffs me and murders for those sweet valids.

This right here? This is why we can't have nice things.

InsaneHyena wrote:donald trump captain who gets killed by a rev

>calling revs killing heads validhunting
thats like saying destroying a dominator as an implanted guy is wrong.

> Run a gimmick
> Headrev gets selected as a new captain
> NO, VALIDSVALIDSVALIDSVALIDS

InsaneHyena wrote:> Run a gimmick
> Headrev gets selected as a new captain
> NO, VALIDSVALIDSVALIDSVALIDS

Weren't you the guy who said this is a no-RP server?

InsaneHyena wrote:> Run a gimmick
> Headrev gets selected as a new captain
> NO, VALIDSVALIDSVALIDSVALIDS

sounds like you're just a bit y because while this is valids, this is the correct kind of valids, in that the round is centered around them

InsaneHyena wrote:> Log in as Donald Trump, the captain.
> My gimmick is gonna be the election.
> Demand that the station divides into the parties, nominates the candidates.
> Eventually, CABAL, Baron von Honks, Reiyo Fluke and some CE are nominated.
> It's rev, turns out. Don't care, I have my gimmick.
> RADIATION
> Hide in the captain's office maint.
> Get irradiated anyways.
> Get all sorts of !FUN! mutations that turn me into barelly functional wreck of a spessman. I have epilepsy, deafness, tourettes and god knows what else.
> Don't know the results of the elections because of this shit.
> Eventually the AI messages me that the clown won.
> Barely get to genetics for pills.
> Garithos Humes immediately tases me, cuffs me and murders for those sweet valids.

This right here? This is why we can't have nice things.

It would've been more fun to put Trump on trial for crimes against Space America, or do a Captain-versus-Revclown duel, or... well, anything but stun-cuff-murder.

I was a rev during that round. I'm fairly sure the clown had already died by that point anyway, as he was dead at round end and was screaming about the prisoner transfer center before that.

Trump meme is retarded anyway.

>get re-lawed to some kind of socialist vanguard engiborg with heavy soviet overtones

>go to spread slightly chilled air+ a tiny amount of n2o around to spread the nippy cold of siberia and improve the happiness of the crew at the same time

>warden tries to law 2 me a few times, i patiently explain i'm not asimov

>they ion me and left me dead the whole round even though i and the AI did nothing hostile the whole round

I mean... did you honestly think that could end any other way?

yes considering it was a totally harmless air mix and wasn't causing any damage or disruption to anything?

am i supposed to think i deserved it for doing literally nothing? i don't get the question

Cik wrote:yes considering it was a totally harmless air mix and wasn't causing any damage or disruption to anything?

am i supposed to think i deserved it for doing literally nothing? i don't get the question

You weren't Asimov, that makes you valid, sadly this effect causes the erections of those around you to jump free of their space suits and immediately force them to attack you regardless of your actions in order to sate their desires.

Not being Asimov doesn't make you insta-valid. Syphoning rooms, shocking doors and crushing people makes you insta-valid.

TheNightingale wrote:Not being Asimov doesn't make you insta-valid. Syphoning rooms, shocking doors and crushing people makes you insta-valid.

That's really not going to deter people from acting like they're valid without Law 1 or an equivalent.

Time for another quality salt from me.

> Be RD. Be cultist.
> Fucking oldcult, Oldman is based.
> Get a shitload of paper, hide in the science maint.
> Instruct one of the science cultists to do RnD and subvert the AI.
> Make stun talismans. A lot.
> Scientist did not actually do RnD at all.
> Cultist atmostech decides to release plasma. Shrug. Maybe it's a good idea.
> Show her the base, tell her to wait there.
> Meet a shaft miner, lure him to science test lab with vague promises of "something".
> Stun him with a paper, begin cuffing.
> NOBODY EXPECTS THE SPANISH INQUISITIOIN
> Tim Ebow, who just happened to be hiding in a nearby locker for no particular reason, jumps out the very second I begin cuffing the miner
> He grabs the miner and drags him away
> What the fuck just happened, why was he there at all?!
> Try to chase him after the shock wears off, take a stun talisman and try to stop him, while he''s yelling "CULT SCIENCE" over the radio.
> Don't you just hate when it happens
> Due to some hilarious hijinks and help intent, I end up stunning myself
> Get beaten severely, when I recover from the cult stun sec is already here.
> Try to spin it into "Tim Ebow ambushed me from a locker for no reason, look at me, all blodied"
> They don't believe me.
> Get stunned, searched.
> So fucking salty.
> Ghost, because Mekhi's gonna execute me anyway.
> Atmostech cultist decides to rob the armory, dies trying.
> Science cultist is still waiting for me on the base, is eventually found and killed by Mekhi.
> Remaining cultist are somehow dead already.
> Fuck.

InsaneHyena wrote:snip

Tim here, I was in the locker because I was trying to put a belt on in real life. While I was dragging the miner out of science with in your pursuit my pants were down around my ankles.

Why the fuck are you playing ss13 with your pants down?

>wearing pants while you are at home playing video games

people do this?

Wyzack wrote:>wearing pants while you are at home playing video games

people do this?

>Not playing video games naked

Pleb alert

Well, it all depends on what kinda game I play.

Aloraydrel wrote:

Wyzack wrote:>wearing pants while you are at home playing video games

people do this?

>Not playing video games naked

Pleb alert

>Not playing whilst wearing a onesie for that authentic jumpsuit experience.

Malkevin wrote:

Aloraydrel wrote:

Wyzack wrote:>wearing pants while you are at home playing video games

people do this?

>Not playing video games naked

Pleb alert

>Not playing whilst wearing a onesie for that authentic jumpsuit experience.

tbh it's more authentic for some people to play naked, then.

Malkevin wrote:

Aloraydrel wrote:

Wyzack wrote:>wearing pants while you are at home playing video games

people do this?

>Not playing video games naked

Pleb alert

>Not playing whilst wearing a onesie for that authentic jumpsuit experience.

ss13 is not videogames, it is SERIOUS BUSINESS

Malkevin wrote:

Aloraydrel wrote:

Wyzack wrote:>wearing pants while you are at home playing video games

people do this?

>Not playing video games naked

Pleb alert

>Not playing whilst wearing a onesie for that authentic jumpsuit experience.

>not laying facedown in a pool of your own blood and beating yourself in the head with a hard plastic rod for maximum immersion

I'm the HoS

I get a report that the lawyer killed the other lawyer - I look in his office, see a blood trail, follow it and find the other dead lawyer.
Order the dead lawyer to get cloned and detain the other lawyer whilst I investigate.
Murder lawyers claims self defence, I call bullshit because he isn't damage at all - other lawyer is cloned and says the murder lawyer killed him with a pen.
Take the pens to RnD and Thomas Lazor decons it, revealing it to be a traitor pen.
Go back to the brig, grab the captain along the way so we can do a proper official execution.
Get to perma and find the lawyer has ducked into the toilet, somehow he had an esword.
I baton him down and lay down the harm baton as the captain slips on the soap - then the fucking warden comes around and stuns ME.
Neither of the useless fucks even cuff the lawyer so when he gets up he drops a traitor bomb and activates it.

Captain finally pulls his head out his arse

Perma blows up and I go to demote the warden for being a dumb fuck.
Captain sides with the fucking warden that lost perma over the HoS that prevented him getting esworded to death.

Useless fucks both of them.


And then they try to blame they fuck up on me post round.

the day my opinion did a straight 180 about irish

>work a million goddamn hours at work without any overtime
>trying plasmameme, the world's worst coded race
>get shit on with my slow speed and numerous gimps
>continue playing it because the racism automatically puts me in an interesting underdog role
>round starts
>you're a nukeop
>just kidding you spawned without a suit you're a ball of fire
>get enough time to name myself before dying
>boom
>idiot operative jumps my table to grab ALL THE FUCKING CRYSTALS
>ALL THE FUCKING CRYSYTALS
>THE TEAM'S FUCKING CRYSTALS
>FOR A FUCKING MECH
>LOL I HAVE A MECH
>ten telecrystals left
>try to declare war
>lol nope
>i know what i will do
>fuck it
>fuck this
>fuck you
>fuck gygaxes
>ghost
>demand a token for the smegma-stained crown jewel in a fine circlet made out of this week's shit
>irishwristwatch gives me a metric fuckton of shit; thinks i want to run around with my super soaker and squirt little baby bullets at people while the team retard crashes a fucking GYGAX
>what the fuck dude i'm just trying to fucking help you play a round that's been so ass-fucked the member is tickling its fucking medulla
>tell him that this round is fucked
>deal w/ it B) B) B) B) B)
>back and forth spat; i tell him that this is fucking terrible and he tells me to deal with it
>he eventually says "well i woulda spawned you shit"
>scroll up
>"Admin PM from-IrishWristWatch0: Consider it a challenge, get going"
>reeeeeeeeeeeee
>tedward swoops in and gives me an antag token
>round ends with the mech predictably dying and the crew predictably fucking the hilariously underarmed ops
>what i can only assume is irishwristwatch making himself a bleb (which i was asking for)
>at this point i have discarded all of my outerwear since i am furious

IcePacks wrote: >what the fuck dude i'm just trying to fucking help you play a round that's been so ass-fucked the member is tickling its fucking medulla

Please explain this in English.

IcePacks wrote:the day my opinion did a straight 180 about irish

>work a million goddamn hours at work without any overtime
>trying plasmameme, the world's worst coded race
>get shit on with my slow speed and numerous gimps
>continue playing it because the racism automatically puts me in an interesting underdog role
>round starts
>you're a nukeop
>just kidding you spawned without a suit you're a ball of fire
>get enough time to name myself before dying
>boom
>idiot operative jumps my table to grab ALL THE FUCKING CRYSTALS
>ALL THE FUCKING CRYSYTALS
>THE TEAM'S FUCKING CRYSTALS
>FOR A FUCKING MECH
>LOL I HAVE A MECH
>ten telecrystals left
>try to declare war
>lol nope
>i know what i will do
>fuck it
>fuck this
>fuck you
>fuck gygaxes
>ghost
>demand a token for the smegma-stained crown jewel in a fine circlet made out of this week's shit
>irishwristwatch gives me a metric fuckton of shit; thinks i want to run around with my super soaker and squirt little baby bullets at people while the team retard crashes a fucking GYGAX
>what the fuck dude i'm just trying to fucking help you play a round that's been so ass-fucked the member is tickling its fucking medulla
>tell him that this round is fucked
>deal w/ it B) B) B) B) B)
>back and forth spat; i tell him that this is fucking terrible and he tells me to deal with it
>he eventually says "well i woulda spawned you shit"
>scroll up
>"Admin PM from-IrishWristWatch0: Consider it a challenge, get going"
>reeeeeeeeeeeee
>tedward swoops in and gives me an antag token
>round ends with the mech predictably dying and the crew predictably fucking the hilariously underarmed ops
>what i can only assume is irishwristwatch making himself a bleb (which i was asking for)
>at this point i have discarded all of my outerwear since i am furious

This was the same round where an ops was taken down by a HoP with a telebaton and a scientist using his own pistol against him.

Fluke ops doesn't begin to describe it

Cherrypone wrote:

IcePacks wrote: >what the fuck dude i'm just trying to fucking help you play a round that's been so ass-fucked the member is tickling its fucking medulla

Please explain this in English.

As I see it, this is a reference to the medulla oblongata, a particular section of the brain that handles involuntary reactions (vomiting, sneezing, breathing, that sort of thing). Now, Packs is saying that the round has been ass-fucked (ie ruined) so much that it is as though someone was being ass-fucked and the member (ie, the penis) was rubbing against the section of the brain responsible for involuntary functions (and presumably causing the recipient, ie the round, to vomit everywhere).

Did I get that even vaguely right?

He means the ass fucking was so deep its penetrated the brain.


A mighty feat, must've been done by a japanese monster dick.

Malkevin wrote:He means the ass fucking was so deep its penetrated the brain.


A mighty feat, must've been done by a japanese monster dick.

I can safely say that all you need is a fairly average hyper or macro fetishist.

DemonFiren wrote:

Malkevin wrote:He means the ass fucking was so deep its penetrated the brain.


A mighty feat, must've been done by a japanese monster dick.

I can safely say that all you need is a fairly average hyper or macro fetishist.

or one of their characters, the fetishists themselves would likely not be up to the task.

Okay, now you seriously made me laugh.

As in, actually, out loud.

First round back, it's rev. Forgot they changed how flashes work, tried to flash the RD about 5 times then got dunked.