/tg/Station 13

Bottom post of the previous page:

InsaneHyena wrote:> Latejoin sec
> Well, it's 10 minutes in
> Walk towards the brig, see gang signs on the way
> "HoS, we need to convert people! Gimme your implants!"
> "Oh, we have gangs? Okay, get them"
> Wait, who is that, standing in the brig
> Is that Bryce Pax
> I need him!
> Pull my taser out, want to taze him
> He throws his shoes at the grille and kills HoS instantly
> AROUND PAX NEVER RELAX
> He dies too.
> Another guy standing in the brig also tries to pull that trick to kill me, but I avoid it, tase him and implant him
> GANG HEAD
> Command nearby borg to strip HoS's pda, give it to me and then close HoS
> I never see HoS again.
> Kill the ganghead, declare myself as deputy HoS.
> Implant a few people and give them full sec access.
> Okay, it's time to implant cargo.
> Get a second box of implants, run to cargo, but there's nobody home.
> No cargo points either.
> What could they waste them all on?
> Gang signs all over cargo
> Autorifle and armor crates in QM's office
> Oh, I see.
> Run out of cargo, slip because slip gas
> Engineer starts dragging me to the maint, while batoning me, he intends to throw me into the engine
> Luckily, HoP sees this and literally pulls me out of space!
> What a hero.
> Oh shit, I've totally lost the implants when I slipped.
> Can't order new ones because of gun/gang cargo
> Run to the brig, time to change my strategy to "kill"
> Some ligger officer joined, called Eats-the-Food
> Whatever.
> I wonder what's taking so long with cloning HoS?
> Wait, there's an intruder at the brig.
> He's a lizard. A lizard QM wearing a lawyer PDA.
> Where did he get it from
> Oh, it all makes sense now!
> Tase him, cuff him, drag him to cargo
> He loudly calls for help for his buddies all the way there and cries that it was JUST A PRANK, BRO
> Yeah, gang signs and gun crates in your department were just a prank, sure
> Okay, what do I do now, I can't exactly implant him - I don't have anything. Do I execute him?
> Ligger QM, Defends-the-Syndicate, continues crying for help to passerbies
> Threaten to kill him, if he doesn't stop
> He does it one more time.
> Pull out a baton and start beating him
> Suddenly, ligger officer jumps out of the maint to cargo
> He ensures me that QM dindu nuffin, pulls him out of my grip and tries to uncuff him
> Wait, Defens-the-Syndicate never actually yelled out his whereabouts. How did Eats-the-Food KNOW where to find us?
> Pretty random for him to do just bump into us randomly...
> HG was absent for too fucking long, lizard metagangs have returned
> Tase the ligger, finish beating the other ligger to death
> Tell the officer that I'm HoS, and those are gangs, he won't-
> He will, he pumps his shotgun and starts shooting me
> They're totally not metabuddies at all.
> Okay, I'm getting really mad.
> Adminhelp this shit
> While I'm chatting with admins, and they're sorting this situation out, Smells with a shotgun (hmmm, I wonder where he could have got it from) appears and shoots us both dead.
> AROUND SMELLS WATCH YOURSELVES
> Nothing conclusive comes out of the chat with admins. At least, if it did, I wasn't told about it.
> REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Fuck lizards. "Mad" doesn't even BEGIN to describe it.

InsaneHyena wrote:But have you considered using bleach as a mouthwash?

stalcloudy wrote:also, you were killing him because he ordered armor and a few guns he couldnt even unlock?
simple

Malkevin wrote:

stalcloudy wrote:also, you were killing him because he ordered armor and a few guns he couldnt even unlock?
simple

There are at least five ID cards on the station with the armory access needed to open those crates.

>Shooting your red brethren in the back
This is why the only place liggers belong is the gas chamber.

just a coincidence

Digdugxx wrote:I don't wanna trigger you even more but there was also another lizard that was with me that helped gun you down :]]

PKPenguin321 wrote:wow that's fucking awful

InsaneHyena wrote:> Sec officer
> Aside from the detective, who kills himself, and the warden, no sec on the station
> However, there's nothing happening despite mediumpop. Nobody is trying to take over HoP's office, nobody is greytiding into captain's office, there're no screams "HELP, MAINT" or "VIVA"
> Ten minutes in.
> Suddenly get a very bad feeling about this.
> Ask the captain if he secured the disk.
> Of course he didn't, "But i'm going to secure it now"
> Okay, fine.
> A few minutes later, hear the screams over the radio that captain is shooting people.
> Run to surgery, see tied up atmostech screaming for help and captain doing surgery on him.
> Is he actually...
> Oh for fuck's sake.
> Stun and cuff the captain, free the atmostech.
> Atmostech instantly demands the Lynch trial, but I'll drag captain's ass to warden instead.
> Explain the situation, the ligger warden agrees that captain is a moron.
> We waste ten minutes on explaining to the captain why he shouldn't do this again.
> Take the disk from his bag, it'll probably be safer with me.
> Warden insists I give it to him.
> Okay, I don't trust your ligger ass, but whatever.
> Telecoms go out.
> Gravity too.
> Atmostech runs to the brig and yells "NUKE OPS"
> Well, shit.
> Warden orders me to give out weapons to the crew.
> I don't even have armory access. Did he assume that I stole captain's card?
> A few flukes die to the crew, actually.
> Tell the warden that I've got his back and will guard him.
> A nuke op invades the brig and starts a shootout with us, heavily wounds the warden and retreats.
> Warden follows him into the dark maint with sanic speed.
> NO, YOU MORON, IT'S A TR-
> He runs out of my sight, can't track him down
> Immediately run to medbay, find a discarded monitor, see that he's not on sensors
> We're fucked, aren't we?
> See captain, yell at him to run with me to the brig, so we can get the pinpointer
> DELTA ALERT
> Change of plans! To the teleporter!
> The door bolted
> Takes some time to unbolt it, but we get inside and...
> ...the teleporter is disassembled.
> OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE
> Boom.

InsaneHyena wrote:> Sec officer
> Aside from the detective, who kills himself, and the warden, no sec on the station
> However, there's nothing happening despite mediumpop. Nobody is trying to take over HoP's office, nobody is greytiding into captain's office, there're no screams "HELP, MAINT" or "VIVA"
> Ten minutes in.
> Suddenly get a very bad feeling about this.
> Ask the captain if he secured the disk.
> Of course he didn't, "But i'm going to secure it now"
> Okay, fine.
> A few minutes later, hear the screams over the radio that captain is shooting people.
> Run to surgery, see tied up atmostech screaming for help and captain doing surgery on him.
> Is he actually...
> Oh for fuck's sake.
> Stun and cuff the captain, free the atmostech.
> Atmostech instantly demands the Lynch trial, but I'll drag captain's ass to warden instead.
> Explain the situation, the ligger warden agrees that captain is a moron.
> We waste ten minutes on explaining to the captain why he shouldn't do this again.
> Take the disk from his bag, it'll probably be safer with me.
> Warden insists I give it to him.
> Okay, I don't trust your ligger ass, but whatever.
> Telecoms go out.
> Gravity too.
> Atmostech runs to the brig and yells "NUKE OPS"
> Well, shit.
> Warden orders me to give out weapons to the crew.
> I don't even have armory access. Did he assume that I stole captain's card?
> A few flukes die to the crew, actually.
> Tell the warden that I've got his back and will guard him.
> A nuke op invades the brig and starts a shootout with us, heavily wounds the warden and retreats.
> Warden follows him into the dark maint with sanic speed.
> NO, YOU MORON, IT'S A TR-
> He runs out of my sight, can't track him down
> Immediately run to medbay, find a discarded monitor, see that he's not on sensors
> We're fucked, aren't we?
> See captain, yell at him to run with me to the brig, so we can get the pinpointer
> DELTA ALERT
> Change of plans! To the teleporter!
> The door bolted
> Takes some time to unbolt it, but we get inside and...
> ...the teleporter is disassembled.
> OH FOR FUCK'S SAKE
> Boom.

Reyn wrote:

PKPenguin321 wrote:wow that's fucking awful

I would say that viro should get banned.... But A.Not sure if it was me or not and B. I've done much MUCH worse as nonantag virologist. NOT MY FAULT THE PERSON I WAS TESTING ON RAN OFF!

InsaneHyena wrote:Gotta keep dem stories coming.

> Latejoin assistant.
> Run around the station, see a shitload of blood and legless people.
> Let me fucking guess, it's Smells.
> Legless roboticist is trying to crawl somewhere, pull her to robotics.
> There's a shitload of legless people there already, the other roboticist is producing legs, but he doesn't seem to be doing any actual surgery
> Soon he fucks off, never to be seen again.
> Time to be the hero this station deserves
> An efficient surgeon doesn't allow his time to be wasted.
> So I do several surgeries at once, on the same limb, but on the different people who I place on the tables around, so I won't lose any precious seconds
> Get warm "Thank you" a couple of times
> Okay, time for this warden right there.
> Place warden on the table, pull out surgery tools, begin stripping him so I can actually do surgery
> He decides that he doesn't want legs.
> So he stunlocks and murders me, another guy helps him kick me to death.
> They both witnessed me helping people.
> On the second note, how can a warden leg sweep a person, when he doesn't have legs
> Admihelp
> There's nobody online
> Adminhelp several times
> Nobody on IRC is responding either
> Round ends
> Justice will never be done.

Warden's name was Flick Masterson, and to Flick Masterson I want to say "fuck you" from the bottom of my heart.

Cuboos wrote:> Changling HoP starts giving out all access

Firebat1234 wrote:

Cuboos wrote:> Changling HoP starts giving out all access

I was that Changeling HoP.
Now I'm a firm believer that greentext isn't everything. I'd say making the fun for others is pretty important too.
And that was one of the BEST changeling rounds I've EVER had.
I don't get to work along side other traitors 'cause no one ever buys a a coms key.
But that teamwork with you and the clown was pretty damn good.
I'll remember that round fondly.

Cuboos wrote:failure

Fiz Bump wrote:

Spoiler:

Posting while the salt is still fresh.

>Start as captain.
>Nuke Ops declare war immediately.
>Only a braindead HoS and warden in sec. Tell warden to give command staff first pick and then hand guns out at his discretion.
>Tell HoP to not give out all access yet.
>Return to bridge to organize the troops. Find the mime walking out of the RCD'd upload with upload boards in-hand.
>Baton him down, confiscate his id and pack and kick him out of the bridge.
>Storm into the HoP's office to find the HoP tied up and Jelli Donut (as a medical doctor) printing 10+ all access cards.
>Try to arrest Jelli, but the HoS runs in too and Jelli escapes in the confusion.
>Drop the shutters, start collecting all access cards off the desk and putting them out of reach.
>Return to my office, and surprise surprise, there is Jelli donut stealing everything that isn't bolted down and smashing into my personal gun case.
>Baton Jelli down, start dragging away, but accidentally drop my baton on a table behind Jelli.
>Jelli takes this opportunity to pick up his own baton and harm intent me with it.
>I assume he is trying to kill me and whip out my sword.
>I stab him a few times before he manages to say "Oops wrong intent"
>As I stop stabbing him, he batons me down, steals my sword and personal gun and runs off.
>I get up, walk down to my office to grab my backup egun, and some gasmasked man runs up behind me, tazes me and cuffs me.
>I get dragged into atmos maint while screaming for help.
>My kidnapper drags me off into a dark corner and strips me completely before grabbing the disk and running off, all without saying a word.
>Random assistant running by grabs my id and headset.
>I break out of my cuffs, ahelp and head back to the bridge.
>Eventually the HoP lets me in and I go to reclaim my spare id from the safe.
>As I approach the safe, the wall explodes, knocking me down.
>I get up, limp to a safe spot and heal up. Eventually I find the HoS and discover that my kidnapper gave him the disk for some reason.
>HoS runs off to fight the ops and I lose track of him.
>Stumble around, encounter my kidnapper (who proceeds to tell me to fuck off), and eventually make my way into maintenance where I find a dying security officer in a low-pressure area.
>Drag the officer into the janitor closet to try and help him, and get dunked by an immovable rod.

It was without a doubt the worst round I have ever played.

Fiz Bump wrote:No, just greytide. The ops went in loud with shielded hardsuits.

Cuboos wrote:> Be changeling again
> try out PKpenguin's suggestion for changeling
> going pretty good so far
> Take out Warden and Two officers.
> Notice every time i transform it switches to the IC tab
> Use my changeling powers a few times to get out of trouble.
> One of my disguises saw me.
> we duke it out for a bit, give him false arm blade.
>no one falls for it
> oh fuck
> get stunned
> where is adrenals?
> fuck it's on the IC tab again
> change back to changeling tab
> get cuffed
> fuck fuck
> lesser form
> IT CHANGES TO THE IC TAB AGAIN GOD DAMN IT
> get stunned and mob ganks me
> get killed
> get incinerated before i can regenerate.
> still haven't gotten greentext as a changeling.

UPDATE CHANGELING HUD RIGHT NOW PLEASE

Fiz Bump wrote:

Spoiler:

Posting while the salt is still fresh.

>Start as captain.
>Nuke Ops declare war immediately.
>Only a braindead HoS and warden in sec. Tell warden to give command staff first pick and then hand guns out at his discretion.
>Tell HoP to not give out all access yet.
>Return to bridge to organize the troops. Find the mime walking out of the RCD'd upload with upload boards in-hand.
>Baton him down, confiscate his id and pack and kick him out of the bridge.
>Storm into the HoP's office to find the HoP tied up and Jelli Donut (as a medical doctor) printing 10+ all access cards.
>Try to arrest Jelli, but the HoS runs in too and Jelli escapes in the confusion.
>Drop the shutters, start collecting all access cards off the desk and putting them out of reach.
>Return to my office, and surprise surprise, there is Jelli donut stealing everything that isn't bolted down and smashing into my personal gun case.
>Baton Jelli down, start dragging away, but accidentally drop my baton on a table behind Jelli.
>Jelli takes this opportunity to pick up his own baton and harm intent me with it.
>I assume he is trying to kill me and whip out my sword.
>I stab him a few times before he manages to say "Oops wrong intent"
>As I stop stabbing him, he batons me down, steals my sword and personal gun and runs off.
>I get up, walk down to my office to grab my backup egun, and some gasmasked man runs up behind me, tazes me and cuffs me.
>I get dragged into atmos maint while screaming for help.
>My kidnapper drags me off into a dark corner and strips me completely before grabbing the disk and running off, all without saying a word.
>Random assistant running by grabs my id and headset.
>I break out of my cuffs, ahelp and head back to the bridge.
>Eventually the HoP lets me in and I go to reclaim my spare id from the safe.
>As I approach the safe, the wall explodes, knocking me down.
>I get up, limp to a safe spot and heal up. Eventually I find the HoS and discover that my kidnapper gave him the disk for some reason.
>HoS runs off to fight the ops and I lose track of him.
>Stumble around, encounter my kidnapper (who proceeds to tell me to fuck off), and eventually make my way into maintenance where I find a dying security officer in a low-pressure area.
>Drag the officer into the janitor closet to try and help him, and get dunked by an immovable rod.

It was without a doubt the worst round I have ever played.