/tg/Station 13

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 9:10 am**

Bottom post of the previous page:

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 9:22 am**

Armhulen wrote:weepo is actually a really terrible player, he spent all round acting hostile to the whole science department after he steals from RnD. Every time i'd ask for something he would throw it at me to hurt me. He threw around a lot of items in RnD like a temper tantrum, some into disposals, all the way until the shuttle was called. To seriously showcase this shittery some quartermaster asks to be healed on the shuttle and the guy injects 20u of MORPHINE

RANDOM PERSON HE NEVER MET

20U OF MORPHINE
(HE CALLED IT A MINOR INCONVENIENCE)

i'd rule 1 him out of 10 my friends

You walled up R&D to make a quote unquote 'autism fort' than got upset when I had to break in to a place I have access to to get a goddamn matter bin.

I should throw more shit at you and bully you harder tbh.

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 9:30 am**

Weepo wrote:
Armhulen wrote:weepo is actually a really terrible player, he spent all round acting hostile to the whole science department after he steals from RnD. Every time i'd ask for something he would throw it at me to hurt me. He threw around a lot of items in RnD like a temper tantrum, some into disposals, all the way until the shuttle was called. To seriously showcase this shittery some quartermaster asks to be healed on the shuttle and the guy injects 20u of MORPHINE

RANDOM PERSON HE NEVER MET

20U OF MORPHINE
(HE CALLED IT A MINOR INCONVENIENCE)

i'd rule 1 him out of 10 my friends
You walled up R&D to make a quote unquote 'autism fort' than got upset when I had to break in to a place I have access to to get a goddamn matter bin.

I should throw more shit at you and bully you harder tbh.

is that admitting to metagrudging?

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 9:31 am**

sounds like you're

reaching

, I don't even know his in game name.

Lollin' at 'steals from RnD' though

Posted: **Wed Feb 08, 2017 9:53 pm**

to be fair if you steal a awelder from RnD or metal early you can seriously fuck with how long RnD takes to get rolling

so take no chances

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 2:06 am**

Weepo wrote:
Armhulen wrote:weepo is actually a really terrible player, he spent all round acting hostile to the whole science department after he steals from RnD. Every time i'd ask for something he would throw it at me to hurt me. He threw around a lot of items in RnD like a temper tantrum, some into disposals, all the way until the shuttle was called. To seriously showcase this shittery some quartermaster asks to be healed on the shuttle and the guy injects 20u of MORPHINE

RANDOM PERSON HE NEVER MET

20U OF MORPHINE
(HE CALLED IT A MINOR INCONVENIENCE)

i'd rule 1 him out of 10 my friends
You walled up R&D to make a quote unquote 'autism fort' than got upset when I had to break in to a place I have access to to get a goddamn matter bin.

I should throw more shit at you and bully you harder tbh.

You're not even going to address the 20u of morphine bit?

Posted: **Thu Feb 09, 2017 3:10 am**

Qbopper wrote:
Weepo wrote:
Armhulen wrote:weepo is actually a really terrible player, he spent all round acting hostile to the whole science department after he steals from RnD. Every time i'd ask for something he would throw it at me to hurt me. He threw around a lot of items in RnD like a temper tantrum, some into disposals, all the way until the shuttle was called. To seriously showcase this shittery some quartermaster asks to be healed on the shuttle and the guy injects 20u of MORPHINE

RANDOM PERSON HE NEVER MET

20U OF MORPHINE
(HE CALLED IT A MINOR INCONVENIENCE)

i'd rule 1 him out of 10 my friends
You walled up R&D to make a quote unquote 'autism fort' than got upset when I had to break in to a place I have access to to get a goddamn matter bin.

I should throw more shit at you and bully you harder tbh.
You're not even going to address the 20u of morphine bit?

brb spending 20 minutes asleep

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 1:02 am**

> Oh boy, it's a cult/clock cult round
> I can't wait to win alongside with my team, all working together for a comm-
> TOO BAD, HULKS WITH XRAYS SPOTTED YOU THROUGH THE WALL

Remove genetics when? Name one positive thing it adds to the game.

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 1:05 am**

InsaneHyena wrote:Name one positive thing it adds to the game.

It adds a reason for you to like lizards: they can't be hulked.

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 10:40 am**

Qbopper wrote:
Weepo wrote:
Armhulen wrote:weepo is actually a really terrible player, he spent all round acting hostile to the whole science department after he steals from RnD. Every time i'd ask for something he would throw it at me to hurt me. He threw around a lot of items in RnD like a temper tantrum, some into disposals, all the way until the shuttle was called. To seriously showcase this shittery some quartermaster asks to be healed on the shuttle and the guy injects 20u of MORPHINE

RANDOM PERSON HE NEVER MET

20U OF MORPHINE
(HE CALLED IT A MINOR INCONVENIENCE)

i'd rule 1 him out of 10 my friends
You walled up R&D to make a quote unquote 'autism fort' than got upset when I had to break in to a place I have access to to get a goddamn matter bin.

I should throw more shit at you and bully you harder tbh.
You're not even going to address the 20u of morphine bit?

Well since I'm defending literally every minute action of that one, singular, round that happened over a week ago which made several people dangerously salty: It was on the shuttle and the dude was disarming people trying to force their way into the little medical bay part, plus I healed him~ I just also put him to sleep non lethally so he couldn't fucking bother me for the rest of the round (all thirty seconds of it). So yeah, It IS a minor inconvenience and I think you're a fucking baby for cutting out all the context to make your problems seem bigger than they are.

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 1:04 pm**

I tried and failed to remove hulks

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 3:38 pm**

My issue is not with hulks, but with xrays, who spot cult bases through the walls and start validhunting immediately. The moment genetics get xrays, cult is fucked.

Posted: **Fri Feb 10, 2017 9:50 pm**

Weepo wrote:
Qbopper wrote:
Weepo wrote:
Armhulen wrote:weepo is actually a really terrible player, he spent all round acting hostile to the whole science department after he steals from RnD. Every time i'd ask for something he would throw it at me to hurt me. He threw around a lot of items in RnD like a temper tantrum, some into disposals, all the way until the shuttle was called. To seriously showcase this shittery some quartermaster asks to be healed on the shuttle and the guy injects 20u of MORPHINE

RANDOM PERSON HE NEVER MET

20U OF MORPHINE
(HE CALLED IT A MINOR INCONVENIENCE)

i'd rule 1 him out of 10 my friends
You walled up R&D to make a quote unquote 'autism fort' than got upset when I had to break in to a place I have access to to get a goddamn matter bin.

I should throw more shit at you and bully you harder tbh.
You're not even going to address the 20u of morphine bit?
Well since I'm defending literally every minute action of that one, singular, round that happened over a week ago which made several people dangerously salty: It was on the shuttle and the dude was disarming people trying to force their way into the little medical bay part, plus I healed him~ I just also put him to sleep non lethally so he couldn't fucking bother me for the rest of the round (all thirty seconds of it). So yeah, It IS a minor inconvenience and I think you're a fucking baby for cutting out all the context to make your problems seem bigger than they are.

Zero healing Chems my man and there was two people in med, you and me. Definitely not a crazy shoving guy trying to get in med

Posted: **Sat Feb 11, 2017 10:20 pm**

Armhulen wrote:*Salty quotepile*

Zero healing Chems my man and there was two people in med, you and me. Definitely not a crazy shoving guy trying to get in med

Convenient that the round is so long gone there's no conceivable way it can be proved either way but the fact you're still lying about it this long after its over is impressive.

Posted: **Mon Feb 13, 2017 6:57 pm**

InsaneHyena wrote:> Oh boy, it's a cult/clock cult round
> I can't wait to win alongside with my team, all working together for a comm-
> TOO BAD, HULKS WITH XRAYS SPOTTED YOU THROUGH THE WALL

Remove genetics when? Name one positive thing it adds to the game.

you'd like that "removes hulk" PR that was up the other week

also, cloning is in genetics, not medbay :^)

Posted: **Tue Feb 14, 2017 5:52 pm**

>assistant on box
>i thirst for blood
>shove some people telling them to fight me
>yell for someone to fight me over comms
>hos agrees
>go to brig
>hos punches me
>nigga we havent even started yet
>nigga has full sec gear on
>im not that stupid
>naked or nothing, that shit has brute protection
>we both strip as the peanut gallery watches on
>fight!
>he gets some weakens and i figure i'm fucked
>get some back on him
>we're both almost dead
>get another weaken on him
>hes almost down, three more punches max
>motherfucker grabs his laser and shoots me into crit
>die while i go grab a towel to wipe up all the puke from this disgusting shit
>sec officer that was watching questions the ethics of using a laser in a fist fight
>hos shrugs
>"i'm alive, he's not"

absolutely dishonorable, this motherfucker just went to the tippy top of my shit list

Posted: **Tue Feb 14, 2017 8:12 pm**

I would too/10

Posted: **Tue Feb 14, 2017 10:11 pm**

shoulda ahelped it seriously an admin should be permabanned if they don't think that hos is a faggot

Posted: **Wed Feb 15, 2017 4:52 am**

secplayers.txt

Posted: **Wed Feb 15, 2017 5:11 am**

i have an image of the nuke ops doing one last duel against the captain for the nuke disk and the captain whispers that if he loses to shoot up the op

I SWEAR I'LL FIND IT

Posted: **Thu Feb 16, 2017 3:32 am**

>chaplain of larcenology
>people immediately loot the shit out of meme man pax
>go along with it because i worship thievery jesus
>cyrus starts some shit
>try to dunk him but ultimately fail
>run up to a lizard pdaing his waifu
>jack it
>take it back to the chapel
>O THIEVERY JESUS TAKE THIS ID AND BLESS US WITH SUMPTUOUS PILES OF LOOT
>captain's spare id
>try to get cyrus into a vault heist
>fail
>steal everything on the bridge
>teleport into the vault
>steal everything in the vault
>leave
>pray again
>the large sum of gold is turned into twin deagles
>rumors of cult activity near cargo
>investigate cargo
>guncargo operation
>shady enough
>shoot the miner standing in front of the crate in the back
>everyone else draws a gun
>shot
>i am repeatedly shot with an assault rifle in the arm
>damage caps out on my arm
>thievery jesus protects!
>get up
>run around shooting everyone with my god-tier murder guns
>waste everyone
>make a nice neat pile with the bodies and report it because this could obviously be interpreted poorly what with everyone stealing my clothes
>guy wearing stolen templar suit runs in
>sees one guy and a bunch of corpses
>runs out
>flashbang
>runs back in
>stands there
>"HI I'M THE CHAPLAI"
>BLAM
>barely alive
>IT'S OKAY I'M THE
>BLAM
>dead

Posted: **Thu Feb 16, 2017 5:04 am**

IcePacks wrote:>jack it

Posted: **Thu Feb 16, 2017 5:11 am**

>nuke op leader
>our last name isn't delivery, it's digiorno
>only three of us because smallcrew
>each buy our own memes
>get dual esword and discount grenadiers belt
>other ops get busted and die almost immediately
>solo siege the brig, they evacuate with shotguns and shit to escape
>solo siege escape
>fightin and throwin grenades and memes etc
>going pretty well
>finally corner the disk holder in medbay
>but quoth, he too has a dual esword
>an honorable duel commences
>meme chemist runs up at one point trying to inject me
>lop off his arms and ignore him because my suit is chemical proof
>fighting disk holder some more, imaginary star wars music
>suddenly fuzzyvision and I pass out
>there's a bug that lets you pierce nopierce suits
>get cucked by the bug
>duel went from honorable to just lame in 0.001 seconds
>testicles turn blue because the ""climax"" of the sword duel was so shit
Feels bad

Posted: **Thu Feb 16, 2017 6:00 am**

PKPenguin321 wrote:>nuke op leader
>our last name isn't delivery, it's digiorno
>only three of us because smallcrew
>each buy our own memes
>get dual esword and discount grenadiers belt
>other ops get busted and die almost immediately
>solo siege the brig, they evacuate with shotguns and shit to escape
>solo siege escape
>fightin and throwin grenades and memes etc
>going pretty well
>finally corner the disk holder in medbay
>but quoth, he too has a dual esword
>an honorable duel commences
>meme chemist runs up at one point trying to inject me
>lop off his arms and ignore him because my suit is chemical proof
>fighting disk holder some more, imaginary star wars music
>suddenly fuzzyvision and I pass out
>there's a bug that lets you pierce nopierce suits
>get cucked by the bug
>duel went from honorable to just lame in 0.001 seconds
>testicles turn blue because the ""climax"" of the sword duel was so shit
Feels bad

i was the warden that round i think, didnt i shotgun you to death?

Posted: **Thu Feb 16, 2017 6:48 am**

Armhulen wrote:i have an image of the nuke ops doing one last duel against the captain for the nuke disk and the captain whispers that if he loses to shoot up the op

I SWEAR I'LL FIND IT

Bill Rowe and the cowardly murder of an honorable nuke op.

I'm like 100% sure it was Bill Rowe. Still better than throwing the disk at the nukies. :^)

Posted: **Thu Feb 16, 2017 7:03 am**

Deitus wrote:
PKPenguin321 wrote:>nuke op leader
>our last name isn't delivery, it's digiorno
>only three of us because smallcrew
>each buy our own memes
>get dual esword and discount grenadiers belt
>other ops get busted and die almost immediately
>solo siege the brig, they evacuate with shotguns and shit to escape
>solo siege escape
>fightin and throwin grenades and memes etc
>going pretty well
>finally corner the disk holder in medbay
>but quoth, he too has a dual esword
>an honorable duel commences
>meme chemist runs up at one point trying to inject me
>lop off his arms and ignore him because my suit is chemical proof
>fighting disk holder some more, imaginary star wars music
>suddenly fuzzyvision and I pass out
>there's a bug that lets you pierce nopierce suits
>get cucked by the bug
>duel went from honorable to just lame in 0.001 seconds
>testicles turn blue because the ""climax"" of the sword duel was so shit
Feels bad
i was the warden that round i think, didnt i shotgun you to death?

yeah i think briefly after i passed out you ran in

Posted: **Thu Feb 16, 2017 3:40 pm**

Traitor mime.
Be entertaining HoP enough to get science access
Do RnD, upgrade literally everything on the station.
HoP likes the cut of my jib, all access.
HoS takes it away.
Show good intentions helping sec take down a dangerous murderboner.
Willingly hand over their desword.
HoS deputizes me, returns all access.
Get imperium monk costume, parade around the station, passing judgement, helping out, steal objectives, generally being trustworthy.
Prep death chem, for my inevitable betrayal of my first friend, the HoP.
Strike up friendly 'conversation' with random virologist in he chapel.
They randomly keel over in front of me,
uuuh what?
AI locks down chapel, and informs me via holopad that security is on their way.
UH WHAT?!
Security chatter on headset tells me that AI suspects I'm a changeling because virologist passed out in front of me with no obvious violence.
Security arrives.
In no mood to let the mime slowly explain himself via gestures.
Virologist sneezes.
NIGGA WHAT?!!
Start pointing madly.
Not one of the half dozen officers are bothering to check if the viro is even alive.
Carted off to brig.
During a moment of distraction, I get loose and make a break for it. Hide in medbay to make a plan.
Bolt lights flicker on.
AI: "Security is on their way."
AAAAAAAH!
Disposal myself.
Spend next ten minutes playing the fugitive in maintenance. Grateful for mime walls.
At some point the shuttle docks. Panic because in all th excitement I lost track of the timer.
Change into a disguise at locker room. Use paper bag to replace mask because I still have my pride damnit.
Sprint for escape.
Fire alarms go off.
Blocked in while adjacent doors start bolting.
"Security has left for the shuttle. Beepsky is on their way."
I lay down and give up.
Over an hour spent gaining trust of command staff, climbing the corporate ladder, gone.

AI somehow knew, or got lucky seeing me come out of maintenance and change clothes, no tools to escape as they were confiscated when arrested in the chapel.

All because the viro didn't fucking sanitize their symptoms.
The traitor has failed.

Posted: **Thu Feb 16, 2017 4:17 pm**

to be fair, fuck that AI too

"hmm out of a million possible reasons for that person to fall over I'm just going to pick the one that lets me assume someone's nonhuman"

Posted: **Thu Feb 16, 2017 5:24 pm**

>be warden on a round where a traitor does a tc trade to remove the on-station bomb cap

do i even need to go on?

Posted: **Thu Feb 16, 2017 5:36 pm**

I'm willing to raise the cap a little bit if you trade for it, but I'll never outright remove.

Posted: **Thu Feb 16, 2017 5:41 pm**

While I did not see the bomb go off, I did see the aftermath being that practically the entire station was destroyed. I would say 1/3rd of the station no longer exsisted while the remainder was utterly ruined.

I thought I joined to the end of a Nuke Ops round, not to a bomb detonating unhindered, or at least to what some people claim at 20/40/80.

Posted: **Thu Feb 16, 2017 6:17 pm**

MimicFaux wrote:Strike up friendly 'conversation' with random virologist in he chapel.
They randomly keel over in front of me,
uuuh what?
AI locks down chapel, and informs me via holopad that security is on their way.

fucking disgusting AI tbh

Posted: **Thu Feb 16, 2017 11:44 pm**

>scientist
>make components for quantum pad
>ask the RD to teleport me to mining outpost with telescience
>get teleported inside the mine instead
>ask him to beam me back
>no comms
>couple seconds later gibtonite goes off right next to me
>miner drags my corpse to mining shuttle
>buckles it to shuttle chair
>shuttle is called back and forth but miners just ignore it
>one of them eventually unbuckles it
>drags it to mining dock
>STRIPS IT
>STUFFS MY CORPSE IN A DISPOSAL CHUTE
>TURNS THE PUMP OFF
>ghostchat tells me it's wizard
>ahelp
>90 players
>0 admins
>wait half an hour until round end, never got an answer, non antag griffon eventually died but didn't say anything in deadchat
>next round starts
>adminwho
>3 admins on
>salt and rage fill my black soul
>ragequit

All in all a wholesome experience

Posted: **Fri Feb 17, 2017 12:42 am**

PKPenguin321 wrote:
IcePacks wrote:>jack it

how is offing a warehouse full of goons jacking it

Posted: **Fri Feb 17, 2017 10:47 am**

>>run up to a lizard pdaing his waifu
>>jack it

I believe he meant that you meant you were jacking a lizard.
Your greentext syntax made it look that way.

Posted: **Fri Feb 17, 2017 6:58 pm**

fuck

EDIT:

OOC: Sawucalls: Basically, he wants to add a "real" walking system, where you have to mash A for your left leg and D for your right leg
OOC: Sawucalls: and to walk you have to press them one after the other

[youtube]1Y3FzVQi-R8[/youtube]

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 2:47 am**

>Spawn as captain
>Heads of staff not paying attention or being dicks, people greytiding immediately
>Wizard arrives and I see them just long enough to be turned into a cowface.
>Find them again five minutes later, only now the borg is running around the station with them, ignoring my mimed orders and throwing the wizard's equipment around willy-nilly where it never gets seen again
>As I'm desperately trying to get the cowface off - finding out that the old method doesn't work the hard way - I get jumped by a xenomorph
>Discover that not only do xenos still have their free infinite instant stuns, some of them also have ranged stuns now!
>In my injured, weakened state, I get killed.
>As my body is nearly recovered five minutes later, ready for cloning, I suddenly spawn as a larva (larva #13, in fact) elsewhere, rendering my original body uncloneable
>And by "Elsewhere", I mean "In deep space, next to the space pirate/Syndicate battle", where I'm immediately killed by simplemobs with energy swords.

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 3:25 am**

AnonymousNow wrote:ignoring my mimed orders and throwing the wizard's equipment around willy-nilly where it never gets seen again

sigh

groan

WHAT ARE THOSE SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

but atlas we did straitjacket that guy

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 4:22 am**

>you are Private Eye Mister Mime
>you are the traitor
>assassinate Loves-The-Lizards, Medical Doctor

It was a day like any other - another shift aboard the hulking metal death trap my employers like to refer to as "Space Station 13". I found myself in my office, contemplating the events of the day ahead of me. I didn't get much time to enjoy the solitude, however, as a soft beep filled the room. My syndicate contacts had sent a signal to awaken the uplink within my otherwise standard issue PDA, informing me of my objective - assassinate one Loves-The-Lizards, MD, and escape alive.

Due to the bumbling incompetents in Nanotrasen's infinite mess of bureaucratic procedure, I was once again assigned to the role of ordinary Mime. I politely messaged the Head of Personnel, explaining the situation, and he promised to work the situation out. I'm sure if there was more of a security presence I would have run into issues, but considering the force was a single detective and lone officer, I figured the heads would be glad for the backup. I considered opening up the uplink to see what the syndicate had in store for me, but I decided against it - god only knows what could happen in that line.

I made my way out of the theater and down to the HoP's office. As I took my place in line, I noted assistants behind and in front of me. I could feel my body tense slightly, but I presented no outward signs that I was concerned. Of course, immediately afterwards, the greyshirt behind me lunged towards me, arm outstretched -

and he slapped me across the face.

Stunned, I looked back at him. Before I could react again, he struck me once more, open palm flying at my face. The assistant in front decided to join in, a chorus of comical smack noises echoing down the hallway. The impacts barely registered thanks to the mask that lay on my face, so I had a moment to consider how to react. I decided it would be best to give of an impression of helplessness, so that if the time came for me to face my crewmates in battle, they might underestimate me. I curled into a ball and pretended to cry dramatically, hoping to give off an air of ironic helplessness (underneath which was an actual air of helplessness). My schemes knew no bounds.

Suddenly, smoke filled the hall. I heard one of my dimwitted assailants cry "DID THE MIME TURN INTO GAS??". Shaking my head as the smoke cleared, I placed my ID upon the counter. I nodded at the HoP, our deal having been established, and bowed graciously in thanks as he handed back my ID. The HoP was kind enough to grant me detective access in addition to my existing mime ID, and I noted the title of (Private Eye). I made a mental note to avoid killing the HoP if at all possible.

As I slotted my ID back into my PDA, I made my way up to the brig, composing a message explaining the situation to the detective, he replied with a curt "borgs are probably rogue". Uneasy at how quickly this conclusion had been reached in the shift, I considered the implications. I wasn't sure if the AI would pose significant threat to me, so I ignored the troubling thought for the moment and made my way into the brig. As I approached the detective's office, I noted my colleague sitting at his desk, smoking a cigarette as he contemplated quietly. Knocking gently on the window to announce my presence, I waved and let myself in. He gave a terse hello, and strode around the desk to open his closet. A nice gesture, but unnecessary, thanks to my ID. I took out a fedora and matching trenchcoat as he began to consider the rogue silicons on board.

I took a piece of paper from the bin on his desk and removed the pen from my PDA, quickly jotting down a note about how it was important to note that the borg may have been compromised by a traitor, and the AI may not be involved. He nodded, and a moment of silence passed through the room. I mimed out a request - pretending to light a cigarette, then pointing at the detective and extending a gloved hand. He understood and passed his Zippo to me. Smoothly flicking the lighter on, I held the page to the gentle flame, transfixed by the paper slowly burning to ashes. I figured it would have been a bad idea to leave sensitive materials laying around. As a last thought, I grabbed a sec headset from the closet.

Nodding to the detective, I then let him know I planned to do the rounds by jogging in a small circle and pointing to outside the brig. I gave him a quick salute before heading out. Before I even made it to the bridge, however, a security alert blared in my ear - there was something going on in the bar. I made my way down, but there was little more than a chaplain sitting in a pile of what appeared to be flour and runes drawn in crayon. A man outside yelled something to him about having pickpocketed him, but I was preoccupied with thoughts of my target.

I considered the situation, and made my way back up towards the brig. Hiding myself in a locked closet in the courtroom, I powered on my PDA and entered my code. Scrolling through the list of items, I made the descision to purchase something inconspicuous. The energy dagger jumped out at me - I was going to need a pen to write, anyways, and no one would think twice about finding one on a mime's person. The dagger materialized into my hands as I pressed the button, and I quickly locked the uplink and placed the PDA back on my belt.

I made my way down to medbay, acutely conscious of the deadly weapon in my pocket. I reassured myself that the odds of anyone discovering my secret were astronomically low, and headed towards the doors. As I began to think about how to get inside, a chemist opened the door, rushing past me into the halls. I darted through and noticed an odd scene before me - the clown, the virologist, and a doctor were mingling around medbay storage. It only took a quick glance to confirm that it was Loves-The-Lizards, directly in front of me. The clown brushed me, running by, and Loves yelled about the virologist letting out a kill virus.

Uh oh.

Scanning myself with a nearby medical kit, I noted that the cure was spaceacilin. I quickly wrote and handed a note to the chemist, who was surprisingly on the ball, already distributing syringes of the chemical I needed. Injecting myself, I mingled around medbay for a bit, both to keep an eye on my target and ensure I would be safe in case the disease was not cured.

Suddenly, however, I began to pass out. I checked myself with a scanner and noted no illness, so I was unsure as to what was going on. This continued for a moment before my target grabbed my unconcious body, and dragged me across the tiled floors into a cryo pod. Flicking it on, he walked off to his business.

then I fucking went into crit in the cryo pod and died, then some fucking dimwit tried to clone me when there was some kind of shitty air mix killing people (I believe) AND genetics was breached, and then when I died after that, cloning me TWICE MORE before I gave up.

Then a geneticist asked for a TC trade for the nuke codes. I said no at first, but considered the situation - he had even stolen the nuke disk. I told him if he was cool with me making an announcement that he had them, I would do it. I fucked up and should have made the announcement, then told him, as by the time I had typed the announcement out he was at the console. He requested them, I gave them to him, and he basically immediately slotted the disk and codes in before anyone could react.

The best part, though, is that he managed to send the nuke disk off on the cargo shuttle nearby, and prepared himself for his glorious death.

It went off.

The death was delayed.

much redtext was had

(before anyone yells at me about the codes, the other admins thought it was funny, half the station was dead, and the response was generally everyone laughing their ass off at the situation)

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 4:40 am**

I like how the cool, calm and collected narrative broke halfway through

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 4:51 am**

Qbopper wrote:-Snip-

Funny story, actually, That virus that the virologist released was harmless, There was no death virus, I was just microwaving people with the micro-laser and claiming the virus did it and people fell for it, it was great. I put toxin in cyro too in hopes that my assistant target (I was a traitor) would be dragged in and mindlessly cyro'd like everyone seems to be nowadays. I ended up forgetting I put toxin in there and cyro'd you to make it look like I was helping but as it turns out I ""accidentally"" killed you with a poisoned cyro pod.

insert sad trombone here.

If it makes you feel any better I got my just desserts when not 10 minutes later when a rogue borg sliced my head off with a circular saw, and then promptly got detonated with the robotics console. My round ended with a bang, you could say.

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 4:57 am**

Armhulen wrote:
AnonymousNow wrote:ignoring my mimed orders and throwing the wizard's equipment around willy-nilly where it never gets seen again
sigh

groan

WHAT ARE THOSE SUPPOSED TO MEAN?

but atlas we did straitjacket that guy

Less the Me actions and more trying to herd the guy away from you, pointing etc., by what I recall.

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 5:10 am**

I was way more scared of the wizard breaking out and killing 10 more people than throwing acid on a human's face

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 5:41 am**

Jarek wrote:
Qbopper wrote:-Snip-
Funny story, actually, That virus that the virologist released was harmless, There was no death virus, I was just microwaving people with the micro-laser and claiming the virus did it and people fell for it, it was great. I put toxin in cyro too in hopes that my assistant target (I was a traitor) would be dragged in and mindlessly cyro'd like everyone seems to be nowadays. I ended up forgetting I put toxin in there and cyro'd you to make it look like I was helping but as it turns out I ""accidentally"" killed you with a poisoned cyro pod.

insert sad trombone here.

If it makes you feel any better I got my just desserts when not 10 minutes later when a rogue borg sliced my head off with a circular saw, and then promptly got detonated with the robotics console. My round ended with a bang, you could say.

I figured something was up when I noticed I was still dying despite curing myself lol

Posted: **Sun Feb 19, 2017 9:31 pm**

>New cops, small team of 3
>To get another team member we sentience potion Cayenne and stick him with a macrobomb implant
>Kit up, get on the shuttle, ready to depart
>Idiot op #1 accidentally attaches C4 to his belt, which sets off Cayenne's macrobomb, which blows up the whole shuttle
>Idiot op #2 drags my critted body to the syndicate base lockers AND LEAVES IT THERE
>I'm literally in a locker in crit with full nuke op gear
>Finally heal into red somehow, use the bruise pack I have with me, wander over to the shuttle, it's gone
>Wander around the syndicate base trying to find an outlet into space but it's fucking cold even through a full hardsuit so I take more damage
>Pray to the gods, get dumped into space with no internals, die
>Turn into a huge-ass pulsating tesla ball of PURE SALT

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 12:51 am**

bandit wrote:>New cops, small team of 3
>To get another team member we sentience potion Cayenne and stick him with a macrobomb implant
>Kit up, get on the shuttle, ready to depart
>Idiot op #1 accidentally attaches C4 to his belt, which sets off Cayenne's macrobomb, which blows up the whole shuttle
>Idiot op #2 drags my critted body to the syndicate base lockers AND LEAVES IT THERE
>I'm literally in a locker in crit with full nuke op gear
>Finally heal into red somehow, use the bruise pack I have with me, wander over to the shuttle, it's gone
>Wander around the syndicate base trying to find an outlet into space but it's fucking cold even through a full hardsuit so I take more damage
>Pray to the gods, get dumped into space with no internals, die
>Turn into a huge-ass pulsating tesla ball of PURE SALT

I was there for the start of that round, I was hoping to read about the macro implanted Cayenne being hilarious

it was funny in the wrong way

EDIT: to avoid doubleposting

>Private Eye Mister Mime
>hop line for det access
>ID is in computer
>EMP goes off
>my ID is stuck in the computer
>see roboticist dragging someone to robotics with a double esword
>oh shit I'd better save him
>give chase
>follow into robotics
>flash the guy with the esword, grab it, kill him
>AI missed context and yells at me
>ONE OF THE DEAD BODIES IN ROBOTICS GETS UP
>realize my critical error
>try to attack him
>AI lets him out as someone calls for help
>he yells about the crazy murderboning mime
>PDA can't PM anyone from the EMP(? I think)
>no pen or paper
>no ID
>can't do anything

honestly the worst

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:21 am**

bandit wrote:>New cops, small team of 3
>To get another team member we sentience potion Cayenne and stick him with a macrobomb implant
>Kit up, get on the shuttle, ready to depart
>Idiot op #1 accidentally attaches C4 to his belt, which sets off Cayenne's macrobomb, which blows up the whole shuttle
>Idiot op #2 drags my critted body to the syndicate base lockers AND LEAVES IT THERE
>I'm literally in a locker in crit with full nuke op gear
>Finally heal into red somehow, use the bruise pack I have with me, wander over to the shuttle, it's gone
>Wander around the syndicate base trying to find an outlet into space but it's fucking cold even through a full hardsuit so I take more damage
>Pray to the gods, get dumped into space with no internals, die
>Turn into a huge-ass pulsating tesla ball of PURE SALT

Holy fuck that's hilarious

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 7:13 am**

Qbopper wrote:
bandit wrote:>New cops, small team of 3
>To get another team member we sentience potion Cayenne and stick him with a macrobomb implant
>Kit up, get on the shuttle, ready to depart
>Idiot op #1 accidentally attaches C4 to his belt, which sets off Cayenne's macrobomb, which blows up the whole shuttle
>Idiot op #2 drags my critted body to the syndicate base lockers AND LEAVES IT THERE
>I'm literally in a locker in crit with full nuke op gear
>Finally heal into red somehow, use the bruise pack I have with me, wander over to the shuttle, it's gone
>Wander around the syndicate base trying to find an outlet into space but it's fucking cold even through a full hardsuit so I take more damage
>Pray to the gods, get dumped into space with no internals, die
>Turn into a huge-ass pulsating tesla ball of PURE SALT
I was there for the start of that round, I was hoping to read about the macro implanted Cayenne being hilarious

it was funny in the wrong way

EDIT: to avoid doubleposting

>Private Eye Mister Mime
>hop line for det access
>ID is in computer
>EMP goes off
>my ID is stuck in the computer
>see roboticist dragging someone to robotics with a double esword
>oh shit I'd better save him
>give chase
>follow into robotics
>flash the guy with the esword, grab it, kill him
>AI missed context and yells at me
>ONE OF THE DEAD BODIES IN ROBOTICS GETS UP
>realize my critical error
>try to attack him
>AI lets him out as someone calls for help
>he yells about the crazy murderboning mime
>PDA can't PM anyone from the EMP(? I think)
>no pen or paper
>no ID
>can't do anything

honestly the worst

>revive
>this mime saved my life, better be nice to him
>thanks mime, please don-
>he slows walks towards me with the desword
>please stop i don't wanna hurt you
>no
>stop doing this
>eventually be let out by the AI
>no remorse on blaming you with my seven stings

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 2:28 pm**

Armhulen wrote: >revive
>this mime saved my life, better be nice to him
>thanks mime, please don-
>he slows walks towards me with the desword
>please stop i don't wanna hurt you
>no
>stop doing this
>eventually be let out by the AI
>no remorse on blaming you with my seven stings

>end an innocent man's life by mistake as a trusted private eye among the station
>realize I can atone for my sins
>realize I can't atone for my sins because I'm bleeding to death and can't run for shit
>watch the physical embodiment of my life's mistakes run out the door thanks to the AI
>physical embodiment of my life's mistakes yells on the radio about how much of a disgusting traitor I am
>immense personal grief and torment ensues
>can't express it because I'm a mime with no ID in a locked down room with no one around

I honestly considered suicide because that would have been pretty in character at that point

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 4:48 pm**

>Be AI
>Preventing all kinds of human harm.
>feels good
>lizard shocks himself on a door
>feels real good.
>See monkey crawl intin vents
>suspicious monkey is suspicious
>inform security
>EMP goes off under HoPs office
>Try not to metagame monkey/ling
>mime leaves HoPs office without a word
>busy tracking monkey
>glance at robotics
>holy shit that mime is killing everyone
>human was playing dead, gets up.
>my humans are so clever
>lock down harmful mime
>am good AI

Posted: **Mon Feb 20, 2017 5:03 pm**

also I can sympathize with the "fuck there's a monkey in the HoP's office and it just ventcrawled but it would be REAALLLLLYY scummy to shout ling"

/tg/Station 13

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