/tg/Station 13

Bottom post of the previous page:

>start round
>be robo
>do robo stuff
>holy shit syndieborg
>swipe card, jump behind mech charger
>crowbar jump behind mech charger
>jump out, take two SMG hits, claim his battery
>he gets mad and gets roboticist access to syndieborgs permanently removed

Robos should never have had syndieborg access :I

>Nuke ops round
>we start cooking some plan, involving infiltrating one of us first, with a syndieborg, killing the AI and wreacking havok before we jump in.
>the boss asks for tc, but before we know, one of us already has a double energy sword.
>with limited ressources, from the teleporter, the energy swords (another for our infiltrator) and some bombs, we only have some spare emags
>The infiltrator lacks one, and I offer mine, so she can has something better than assistant access in there.
>I leave my emag on the ground, and before I even get to point it, it gets grabbed.
>We spend a good five minutes yelling so the guy who grabbed it returns it, so we can get to pull the damn mission, to no avail.
>Finally another emag is offered, the mission starts.
>Before long, we hear the AI yelling about the syndieborg, we're forced to go in hot, bombing the brig and bridge.
>The plan was to jump to the teleporter room, to surprise the heads, but since they knew we had the teleporter, the room to the cap's quarters is already bolted.
>We got taken out by the HoS, two borgs, and some crewmembers.
>I get executed a long time later. We're salty in deadchat
>the shuttle gets there without incident, when one of us, the one with the double energy sword, jumps to try to kill the SECBORG.
>He gets instarobusted and lynched by everyone.

This is when you write a nukeban request.

It does feel tempting, but I don't remember the name of the one with the double sword, nor I know for sure if he got the emag too.
I'll just leave it as a clusterfuck of a round. And my regards to the guy who stunned three of us with a single energy gun.

mikecari wrote:

Miauw wrote: this codl have been avoid if borg name self!!

>WAAAH THIS WOULDNT HAVE HAPPENEDED IF PAPSMEAR LET MEH NAME MUH BORG MYSELF I DINDU NUFFIN

Triskelion (the cyborg consistently named as such) is pretty bad for this. I had a theme going with the AI and its cyborgs (AI and starting borg named themselves after virtues, so I named my cyborgs after virtues, too). One cyborg, upon creation, remarked that it didn't have "the right name", left the room, and whilst it was standing in the mechbay, magically had its name changed to Triskelion.

Funny - I think I named it Temperance.

>be hop
>only head on the station
>do hop things
>then suddenly, some scientist dude comes in with like 3 corgies
>dawww.png
>make them heads
>one corgi is the cmo
>other is the ce
>another is the rd
>people actually come onto the station
>normal things
>and then, same dude gets even more corgis, this time they are girls
>DAAAWWWWW.jpg
>huge corgi orgy
>lots of puppies
>need to do something irl
>go asleep
>wake up
>while i was gone the alien nation attacked
>ohshit
>shuttle is called
>reason: corgies are dead
>look onto bridge
>all of my dogs are dead
>drwhotears.gif
>slump to the shuttle
>friendly!alien finds puppy, but that isn't enough
>then I remember
>doggy heads!
>check the ce, cmo, and rd rooms
>they live
>go onto shuttle
>someone kills the puppy
>leaving only 3 dogs
>out of all of the dogs I got, only 3 lived to the end
>event is written down in history books

>The Great Corgi Purge

That escalated.

>be tator HoP
>Kill that bartender
>Alrighty then this should be easy
>Plant bomb in bar
>He manages to miss the explosion, but not by much
>Too much sec crowding the bar
>Bomb genetics
>Come back to office
>Bartender is there
>Perfect
>Shoot him to kill
>hide for a bit
>all of the sudden my router goes out
>it breaks, completely
>WHY NOW
>Try to fix this mess
>Takes so long to restart this shitter
>Fix internet
>The computer breaks
>Fuck
>Restart and try to rejoin
>The round is already over when i come back on

I hate this toaster

>start round
>atmos tech
>ok
>start going about my normal stuff
>typical late message thing
>YOU ARE THE TRAITOR
>o-okay
>continue doing roundstart atmos setup; change valves and shit
>fellow atmosian keeps following me around, silent
>doesn't do jack shit to help
>I know he's going to try and kill me
>don't act on it because it'd be shit
>don't want to kill him because it could give me away early.
>next thing I'm deaf
>erratic movement
>armbladed to death
>not even 5 minutes into the round
>round ends
>wasn't even his target, he didn't greentext either.

seriously, fuck you Chad.

But lings have to kill people.

They can genome via extract sting, too.

DemonFiren wrote:They can genome via extract sting, too.

Nope, outdated information. They get the form but not the objective points, unless that change from six months ago by HG was reverted.

>Be tator HoP
>Assassinate Urist McBotanist
>Ditch boring objective to screw around with voice changers, IDs and the radio
>Trash talk as Syndicate Mastermind
>Switch between IDs and generally be schizophrenic
>Shuttle called
>Turns out botanist killed himself
>Make "Darth Murderbone" ID, grab chaplain hoodie and order E-sword
>Run to shuttle
> AI bolts doors to escape after spotting and announcing me
>Run for arrivals pod
>Bartender follows me
>Don't react quick enough, bartender has me down
>On the bright side, greentext anyway because bartender doesn't validkill me

Maybe this belongs in the win stories thread.

Cipher3 wrote:

DemonFiren wrote:They can genome via extract sting, too.

Nope, outdated information. They get the form but not the objective points, unless that change from six months ago by HG was reverted.

I was playing changeling maybe... Two weeks ago, and I got all my genomes via extraction sting, so yeah.

TwitchTail13 wrote:>Be tator HoP
>Assassinate Urist McBotanist
>Ditch boring objective to screw around with voice changers, IDs and the radio
>Trash talk as Syndicate Mastermind
>Switch between IDs and generally be schizophrenic
>Shuttle called
>Turns out botanist killed himself
>Make "Darth Murderbone" ID, grab chaplain hoodie and order E-sword
>Run to shuttle
> AI bolts doors to escape after spotting and announcing me
>Run for arrivals pod
>Bartender follows me
>Don't react quick enough, bartender has me down
>On the bright side, greentext anyway because bartender doesn't validkill me

Maybe this belongs in the win stories thread.

The bartender only didn't valid you because she thought being in cuffs on a pod counts as custody. If she'd known it didn't you would have been salad.

Also possible that she didn't care about greentext denial

Not bloody likely, not with the observations I have of that player.

DemonFiren wrote: The bartender only didn't valid you because she thought being in cuffs on a pod counts as custody. If she'd known it didn't you would have been salad.

being in cuffs on a pod does count though, doesn't it?

this requires further testing
like
of all the following situations, which count as 'in custody'

- in cuffs on the shuttle
- in cuffs on pod
- in cuffs on shuttle brig (this definitely does)
- in shuttle brig, no cuffs (I think this does)
- on secpod?
- on secpod in cuffs??

if just needing to cuff someone is enough, do cablecuffs/zipties/straightjacket all work too? how about ninja net?
if just being in the shuttle brig is enough, what about if you rcd (or bomb) the shuttle brig floor and stand on the space tile? is that escaping at all?
how about standing in the doorway to the shuttle brig? doorway of a pod? (risky because you could fall out)

Here's the situations where it can or cannot apply.

• Being on a Escape Pod, no matter what condition, does not count as failing. (Escape Pods are consdierd to be unreliable in holding a prisoner)
• Being on a red shuttle tile will count as a fail, with or without having handcuffs on.
• Sadly I'm not so sure about being in handcuffs but not on a red shuttle tile.

(cue people painting the shuttle floors red)

surprised the secpod doesn't count as custody (iirc it's blue floor?)
normal shuttle + cuffs probably don't work, but worth trying

normal shuttle + cuffs
+ zipties
+ cablecuffs
+ straitjacket
+ ninja net
normal shuttle + bucklecuffs
shuttle bridge + all of the above

easiest way to test would probably be to have a tater in a straitjacket and then handcuffs, buckled to a chair that's not in the shuttle brig
if greentext, then all it depends on is what tile you're standing on

I can tell your for a fact that a red shuttle tile will automaticly deny greentext, which means I'm wagering that the only way you can deny someone's "escape" objective is if you put them in the escape shuttle's brig, as even being in handcuffs in a pod does not work.

I'll have to remember that one (*aggressively paints shuttle*)

tldr antags with 'escape alive and not in custody' won't greentext that objective if they're standing on a red floor, i.e the shuttle brig
this includes the shuttle brig window and door tiles I think, as well as possibly the external airlock leading to space (but if you stand in there you'll get pushed out by sec)
--> if you want to ruin someones greentext shame on you you gotta have them in the shuttle brig for it to be 'custody'
but killing and/or spacing them will ruin the 'escape alive' part so thats pretty much to the same effect

therefore as greentext-seeking antag you should really really avoid being in the shuttle brig at any point, even if you're doing it because you're hopcurity or you're harmbatoning your dead DA target

>latejoin
>try to be roboticist
>misclick and hit HoS instead
>meet my underlings
>a respectful and knowing lizardwoman
>and a quiet and somewhat knowing human
>they go off
>clean up shop, secure high-risk items
>lizard hopping place to place
>no word on human
>regroup at cargo
>rd wants weapon pins for weapons
>agree and get him a box of weapon pins
>something goes down and some crystals do a thing
>shuttle called
>head down to escape with squad
>suddenly human acting strange
>having ptsd or something
>start trying to stabilize him
>lizard doing much of the work
>shuttle arrives and we start going in
>human won't stand still
>lizard suggests restraining
>agree
>human starts running around the shuttle like a spaz
>there's only one way to do this
>pull out stunbaton
>one hit and he's down
>lizard zipties him and we get him to the brig
>round end
>human calls me out for doing the stunny-stun
>shitler +77
>says he had a whole backstory for this
>shitler +100
>says he intended to carry this out further had i not stunned him
>shitler +99
>i gained a shitler point!
>apologize and internally cry

>Start as cyborg, Threepoint-142
>Set up solar arrays as normal
>Hear that a cargo tech is getting mad at the AI and cutting cameras
>I go down there and repair them
>The cargo tech, Ricky Bode, catches me doing so, flashes me, beats me to death and spaces me
>The crew know, but I'm still stuck in an infinite vertical loop in space because it never got fixed
>Later, I get into xenobiology to find some golem runes there!
>A security officer, Helena Haifisch, is quietly dragging a small army of corgis to the test chamber, so I stand on one of the runes.
>The security officer walks straight over the two active runes there for a good five minutes, until a scientist finally sees us and spawns us
>He tells us to protect the corgis. Haifisch immediately hooks up a plasma tank to the test room and burns them.
>We desperately try to defend the last remaining corgi, but the security officer runs away screaming "GOLEMS ROGUE!"
>Pretty much the entirety of the rest of the station, led by captain Lorenzo Sulyard and including Zheng Ho, turns up at the door at this point, all thoughts of battling the cult forgotten as an easy murderbone target is found
>As we're trying to defend ourselves, I somehow get infected with some sort of beneficial supervirus.
>Being dogpiled by the comdom and his submissive partner, I am flushed into a slime chamber and left to die, being fed on.
>Miraculously I get up, and use a monkey corpse to break the window open, carefully moving the glass out of the way (since I know the golem "shoeless" glitch is still unfixed)
>As I'm just about to limp out of there, the big oilblob fucker jumps at me again, sending me back into crit.
>Just as I get up one more time, I try to limp out of the way and somehow, somehow, it pushes me into a piece of glass.
>I get munched AGAIN, and this time, the healing effect isn't picking me up. After a while, it splits, and those start feeding on my undying form, too.
>I stay in crit for the entirety of the rest of the round.

Names of notable shitters added with great care.

>collect huge gun stash
>get cornered by an op
>"EAT FREEDOM FUCKER"
>pull trigger
>*click*
>*click* *click* *click*

why don't the shotguns come ready to fire like every other gun? :'(

Its a shotgun not a laser.

>Hello, Sybil. It's been a while, hasn't it.
>Time for RULE CARGONIA, CARGONIA RULE THE-fuck, traitor.
>Assassinate clown.
>Get mining, let the crate-slave build his ghetto surgery.
>Get researching, make progress.
>Meet a friendling atmos tech, promise him the traitor gear of his choice in exchange for the clown's death.
>He wants a balloon. Fine by me.
>SUDDENLY BLEB
>SUDDENLY MEATY ORES
>SUDDENLY PYRO-ANOMALY
>Bleb gets stomped
>Breaches get fixed
>Anomaly gets mopped up
>SUDDENLY MORE BLEB
>Run out of science, 1v1 a blobbernaught
>Die, huzzah autocloner
>Power in genetics cuts
>Power in cryo cuts
>Shuttle docks
>Limp to shut--NOPE BLOB ZOMBIES
>Clown ends up dead due to lingbuddy
>le escape redtext

;-; WHY BLOB WHY

> internal affairs agent
> aliens
> manage to run away, close shutters.
> all heads eaten, nobody can communicate with centcomm or call the shuttle.
> write reports about this, more reports, again reports.
> centcomm does not care about reports, no ert incoming.
> send them : centcomm sucks
> Hear knock knock knock
> Open shutters
> Elite centcomm mechwarrior squad awaiting.
> rekt
> They rapidly evacuate without stomping aliens, because someone telling centcomm sucks is more important then aliens.

qwert wrote:> internal affairs agent
> aliens
> manage to run away, close shutters.
> all heads eaten, nobody can communicate with centcomm or call the shuttle.
> write reports about this, more reports, again reports.
> centcomm does not care about reports, no ert incoming.
> send them : centcomm sucks
> Hear knock knock knock
> Open shutters
> Elite centcomm mechwarrior squad awaiting.
> rekt
> They rapidly evacuate without stomping aliens, because someone telling centcomm sucks is more important then aliens.

On TG?
Also, Admins need to be more liberal with ERT's. The Security force is what it's called, a SECURITY FORCE. Not a "ALIEN FIGHTING ARMY" or "BLOB EXTERMINATORS". I mean jesus.
Otherwise, AYYY.

TG doesn't have an IA department so my guess is either Bay or VG.

qwert wrote:> internal affairs agent
> aliens
> manage to run away, close shutters.
> all heads eaten, nobody can communicate with centcomm or call the shuttle.
> write reports about this, more reports, again reports.
> centcomm does not care about reports, no ert incoming.
> send them : centcomm sucks
> Hear knock knock knock
> Open shutters
> Elite centcomm mechwarrior squad awaiting.
> rekt
> They rapidly evacuate without stomping aliens, because someone telling centcomm sucks is more important then aliens.

This is SO MUCH BETTER than BSA.

You are the Plague Doctor, a mime with an affinity for ancient medicine (that is to say, ambrosia deus and juices).
You acquire a first-aid kit, as Plague Doctors do.
You are a traitor! Steal 28 moles of plasma and escape alive.
You pray to SynHQ to exchange your TC for esoteric and arcane medical items. They inform you that they only deal in weapons; try the Gods.
The HoP is offering access. You watch the Botanist become a Security Officer.
That's not suspicious at all.
The HoP sees your first-aid kit and makes you the Medical Mime.
You go to medbay, greet the other MD and set up cryo.
The Gods inform you that SynHQ was smited. Your PDA beeps; it has no TC.
The Gods favour you, however, for being silent during prayers.
They tell you that the Chapel is where they reside.
You finish cryo - cryoxadone, mannitol, mutadone - and head to the Chapel.
You light the candles, and crackling sparks appear. They lead you to the Relic Closet.
The Gods have given you an NVMedHUD and a staff of healing!
You thank them profusely and silently.
You head to the Bar, and are accosted by the LAW's minion, Beepsky.
The borg finds you and drags you around, ignoring your nonverbal cues to stop.
Eventually, having escaped the zipties, you PDA Newleo, the Warden, "Why am I on arrest?".
The Warden informs you that you sabotaged cryo by filling it with mutagen.
Mutagen...? You didn't put mutagen i-
You facepalm. They thought mutadone, genetic treatment, was mutagen, poison.
You are dragged to the Brig by the Botanist.
The Warden strips you, and ignores your pointed looks at the nearby paper bin.
He gives you your PDA, but you are still cuffed. The staff and HUD are now in a body bag.
You are sent to the gulag, unable to talk and still cuffed.
The Botanist strips your headset and kills you.

Moral? Mutadone is the good one.

TheNightingale wrote:You are the Plague Doctor, a mime with an affinity for ancient medicine (that is to say, ambrosia deus and juices).
You acquire a first-aid kit, as Plague Doctors do.
You are a traitor! Steal 28 moles of plasma and escape alive.
You pray to SynHQ to exchange your TC for esoteric and arcane medical items. They inform you that they only deal in weapons; try the Gods.
The HoP is offering access. You watch the Botanist become a Security Officer.
That's not suspicious at all.
The HoP sees your first-aid kit and makes you the Medical Mime.
You go to medbay, greet the other MD and set up cryo.
The Gods inform you that SynHQ was smited. Your PDA beeps; it has no TC.
The Gods favour you, however, for being silent during prayers.
They tell you that the Chapel is where they reside.
You finish cryo - cryoxadone, mannitol, mutadone - and head to the Chapel.
You light the candles, and crackling sparks appear. They lead you to the Relic Closet.
The Gods have given you an NVMedHUD and a staff of healing!
You thank them profusely and silently.
You head to the Bar, and are accosted by the LAW's minion, Beepsky.
The borg finds you and drags you around, ignoring your nonverbal cues to stop.
Eventually, having escaped the zipties, you PDA Newleo, the Warden, "Why am I on arrest?".
The Warden informs you that you sabotaged cryo by filling it with mutagen.
Mutagen...? You didn't put mutagen i-
You facepalm. They thought mutadone, genetic treatment, was mutagen, poison.
You are dragged to the Brig by the Botanist.
The Warden strips you, and ignores your pointed looks at the nearby paper bin.
He gives you your PDA, but you are still cuffed. The staff and HUD are now in a body bag.
You are sent to the gulag, unable to talk and still cuffed.
The Botanist strips your headset and kills you.

Moral? Mutadone is the good one.

That made me frustrated and angry on your behalf. Do you remember the wardens name?

Newleo, as mentioned. Oaken is the last name, I think.
Seen him on Basil often enough, tends to leave a bad taste in my mouth when I watch him. Now I know why.

It's alright, I'm sure it was just an honest mistake. He thought I was intentionally sabotaging cryo, and so gave me the worst punishment possible as per Space Law - the (inescapable) gulag.

No longer quite inescapable, due to CHANGELOG.

But it's generally shitty play to quick-gulag someone, doubly so if you think they're antag instead of shitter, triply so if you don't give them a chance to, heh, speak up.

gulag is not perma.

Allohsnackbar wrote:

qwert wrote:> internal affairs agent
> aliens
> manage to run away, close shutters.
> all heads eaten, nobody can communicate with centcomm or call the shuttle.
> write reports about this, more reports, again reports.
> centcomm does not care about reports, no ert incoming.
> send them : centcomm sucks
> Hear knock knock knock
> Open shutters
> Elite centcomm mechwarrior squad awaiting.
> rekt
> They rapidly evacuate without stomping aliens, because someone telling centcomm sucks is more important then aliens.

On TG?
Also, Admins need to be more liberal with ERT's. The Security force is what it's called, a SECURITY FORCE. Not a "ALIEN FIGHTING ARMY" or "BLOB EXTERMINATORS". I mean jesus.
Otherwise, AYYY.

Admins created an event as a response to in-round goings on which was entertaining.
Almost certainly not TG.

"WHAT THE FUCK CHANGED?" DOUBLE WHAMMY
>changeling doctor
>playing guild wars 2 in the background
>there is no fucking way i am going to accomplish my objective
>try to kill a couple of people in medbay lobby with muh balinsed armblade (TAKE A LOOK PARASTING!!!!!!!)
>fail, of course, because armblade is shit
>handcuffs
>queue pops on guild wars
>feel the pressure
>lesser form and flee
>yakkety sax ensues
>voting ends in guild wars 2; i have a minute to wrap this up
>in cargo
>notice a gun rack with REAL STUNGUNS instead of that prissy security bullshit
>the qm's expanding storage or some shit, who cares
>enter pax-form
>match starts in guild wars 2; run to home point
>he sees me
>does not make a run for the rack
>ignore my gut-sense
>pick up a gun
>fire it at him
>click
>he stands there
>no firing pin
>calls me (the scary alien monster) an idiot
>turn the (stun) gun on myself
>suicide
>bang
>dead
>alt+tab to guild wars 2
>just in time to watch myself get finished by a mesmer who clearly knew less about his build than i did

>assistant double agent
>let my target know i'm going to kill him with the codewords
>late-night; station's only moderately populous
>encounter lumi phaeron in assistant toolshed
>table and kill her with a welding tool
>hide the body and take all the stuff
>pose as lumi phaeron
>attempt to lure my engipal to escape
>another engineer's there and he's not showing up
>he's fucking around on arcades
>perfect
>open both airlocks and spawn an e-bow
>fire at him
>click
>ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME
>CLICKCLICKCLICKCLICKCLICK
>"LUMI HAS AN EBOW"
>get my crossbow to charge in the locker; curse my lot
>too slow to remove my disguise; bartender opens the locker
>shoot him
>officer runs up
>shoot him
>CLICK
>FUCKINGFDUHSGDFKAGFRHSAKJAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
>space myself
>try to hack open an airlock
>find the open wire just as i die

People were still trying to figure out whether it was me or not that was the ebow guy right till the end of the round, my fucking sides.

Also what server on you on in pleb wars again?

> nuke ops
> take cyanide pill in my hand
> spacelag
> accidently click myself
> this russian server decided not to update to goofball chemistry, so cyanide is instant ggnoreknock + oxyloss + toxin damage
> two guys try to save me, fail, get lightly wounded by explosion of my implant
> Five remaining elite operators decide to start operating
> the syndicate elite operatives team goes to the station
> two professional operators forgot to put on the mask and suffocated, another one forgot the jetpack and pinpointer, so he got lost in space and suffocated too.
> Remains of team are near armoury. They set up the bomb and go to the safe zone, so they dont get caught by explosion
> However, the demolition guy accidently signals not the bomb near armoury, but bomb in his backpack blowing him and the commander of operation
> AYYYYYYYYYYYY 11/10 operating

That is some three stooges shit right there.

People who shit up OOC every time the ops fail about FLUKE OPS FLU COPS FOO COCKS or whatever should be tied down and forced to memorise that story. That's a fluke op.

That's worse, it's poo cops.
Or maybe puke ops.

Wyzack wrote:That is some three stooges shit right there.

It went from "Comedy of Errors" to "Symphony of Disaster".

> you are security officer
> some random greyshirt yells to assault the brig
> warden gives us shotguns with lethal ammo, lasers and stuff like that
> HOS forms us in line and makes a speech about importance of space law, human rights, our role in supporting human rights and being last barrier on the way of anarchy.
> Botanists, assistants and other civilian jobs begin breaking into brig with fire extinguishers
> flashbang, lasering to death everyone who had no sunglasses, the barbarians are stopped
> Hos congratulates us on surviving the first wave with no casaulties
> Warden informs us of cargo already having lots of guns( on this ss13 build miners have emitter on asteroid and crate HP were not buffed,because cargo having guns is considered ingame situation, security not being able to deal with guncargo too)
> We siege the cargo and laser everyone except quartermaster, he got captured.
> The whole security team comes back to brig, science department declares its own independence ( there are no lockboxes, because russian coders consider them not fun)
> While hos leads sec to restore human rights in research department, I am ordered to transfer QM to prison satellite and to interrogate him in torture chamber untill he convinces in working for the syndicate
> After some glass walking, electropack zap-zappery and cutting off his left leg he convinces, that four years ago he worked for the syndicate
> Report
> hos orders to cut off his hands and to launch him to space, since we now have evidence of him working on syndicate.
> Hos and warden bring survivors after battle for human rights and law in RnD : one roboticist, RD and scientist
> Using circular saw, scalpel and wielding tool warden finds out, that they all worked for syndicate.
> Report result of investigation
> Hos tells us to make them fight with knifes for ,, freedom " ( winner gets stunned, wielded in locker with corpses and spaced) , RD turned out to be more robust then others, so he wins the freedom
> ordered to return from prison satellite
>turns out, that mime and clown captured the bridge and hold captain hostage, while head of personnel declares himself living god and creates his private army. Chaplain got bombs in his hands and threatens to send us all to Allah, if we dont call shuttle.
> Nearly all the sec team holds the line in brig against insane hop with army of his naked worshippers, head of security and warden head through the maint towards bridge, so they can restore peace and human rights.
> Server dies
Such intense round and no proper ending.That is worse then thick pancakes.

The best rounds always end too soon.

We are Ms. Alpha. We have taken the identity of Cadence Meme, Scientist and ballistic weapons tech, for this infiltration.
We select our abilities: mute sting, armblade, lesser form, fleshmend, anatomic panacea.
We do not take epinephrine overdose; we will not need it, hopefully.
We ask the AI nicely to let us take the spare ID, before the several Assistants on the manifest do.
The AI complies, and we secure for ourselves all-access.
We PDA the HoS telling him that we have the spare ID, and to meet us in the R&D breakroom.
We disable the camera in the breakroom, and quickly make a stunprod and cuffs.
The HoS arrives with a telescopic baton in his hand.
... We didn't take epinephrine overdose.
We point out the baton, and he says it's a precaution. We give him the ID, mutesting him, and prod-cuff-strip him whilst he's down.
We apologise sincerely for this, and absorb his corpse, rendering it into a lifeless husk... which is then hidden in the disposals chute.
We hide his things in a nearby locker, and promise we will borg his corpse.
We go to the AI Upload, notify the AI that we require the boards for research, and are allowed in. We take the Paladin board, the Freeform board, and all the boards in the High-Risk pile except Purge, because we might need that.
We leave, and pass by the Brig. We notice Coravin Vattes and Cerryl, both Assistants and both clad in suspicious black jumpsuits, exit, having hacked the doors.
We quickly take the Warden's taser (and flashbangs, and cuffs) and leave.
Coravin has an energy gun. We are curious as to where it came from, since we are the only source of all-access on the station. The Armory?
We throw a flashbang, but are downed by the energy gun and cuffed.
We are stripped, because the Assistants want our access.
We have had enough of this. We change our form to that of a monkey, scamper towards the Assistants, and, becoming a human, prepare our armbl-
We are lasered to death. We did not account for them carrying the entire Armory.
Rather than being borged, we are dragged to the gibber. We note that the Assistants are probably not even Syndicate agents: this is normal behaviour for them.
We are turned into delicious Cadence Meme-meat, which is never used.

That's a ban request right there. Looting the armory and attacking someone with stolen guns for their all-access as an assistant tribe is griefing, even if you happened to be a changeling.

Unless you're missing something out.

Coravin was a traitor, and Cerryl didn't last long after HBL joined.
One of these days, I'll succeed in my nefarious plans.