/tg/Station 13

Bottom post of the previous page:

See signature. I confess it was funny as hell but it's like using an AWP in counter strike if anything. Stupidly overpowered but still in the game because ______

I don't give a shit about getting my valids on against any antag unless they're actively harming me.


Unless it's a wizard. I will do everything in my power to kill a Wizard regardless of my job or what I was doing before they get called out on comms. ESPECIALLY if they're friendly.

friendly wizards are fucking dumb

everything alzam said

When I'm antag I abuse my antag status to kill and remove from the round people who aren't my objectives but who are being annoying. Clown a shit? Toolbox that fucker to death. Graytide? Stun, cuff, space. Et cetera.

Nomatter what I go out of my way to try to get people to A) follow Space Law, B) follow the SOPs (Its easier when its on a server that dosent automatically ramp up the alert), and C) not kill people or damage the station.

Even as an antag (or the anti-antag in case of cult) I go out of my way not to kill anyone, and so far, in about three years I think I have killed six players.

I like being opposite antags. Suddenly a survivor? Guard the station and help police and save people instead of killing innocents. Cult around? Go out of my way to annoy the cult and mess them up. (I've done everything from ghetto arresting cultists as an assistant to running around cult maintenece bases with soap and a rubber duck.)

I started playing again and found the new forums just so I could bump this thread (My favorite thread)

I once got jobbaned from AI for shutting someone in the bridge shutters. It was my very first time playing AI and I was stupid at the time. I also can gauge how long I've been playing by asking for when that ban was given and subtracting one month from it. Because of the 30-day restrictions on jobs and such.

One time I stole the nuke as a non-antag janitor. When a greyshirt vigilante arrested me and brought me to security, I blamed the theft on him and I got away with it because his prints were on the nuke but mine weren't.

I always roll bundle when I'm a tator. I also don't really care for directly killing people and instead prefer to do stuff like luring people to holodeck with wildlife simulation up or get them to play Outbomb Cuban Pete.

Also if I'm clown on Meta and the Russian Revolver spawns I like to challenge the HoP to give me all access if I can survive three rounds, and in the rare cases there's no HoP/Captain I steal the spare ID and make myself Honk of Personnel and make people play for their access, with three rounds survived getting all access.

I hate vending machines and would be fine with them being removed.

JStheguy wrote:I hate vending machines and would be fine with them being removed.

At least the food ones. Fuck food vendors.

My past time on sybil is dressing up in all black with insuls, stunprod, and stalking security.

Maybe I should do that as a clown/mime one day.

On signing up as assistant, i throw a virtual 6 faced dice. If it lands on 1: Greytide Battlecry

I always bundle with antag and try to roll with what I get.

This means Almost every time I antag I either never use my items or royally fuck up, but you win some you lose some.

I also avoid murderboning as antag at all costs, being very minimalistic and just trying to be a positive influence on the station. If I see my target, I may try to make an oppurtunity, but I value other's people fun over my own. (I've gone as far as spend most of the round helping a new player figure out a job in my division and greentext on accident. Pleasant surprise, but I do feel bad when it happens cause it's a green text I didn't 'earn')

Zsword wrote:I always bundle with antag and try to roll with what I get.

This means Almost every time I antag I either never use my items or royally fuck up, but you win some you lose some.

I also avoid murderboning as antag at all costs, being very minimalistic and just trying to be a positive influence on the station. If I see my target, I may try to make an oppurtunity, but I value other's people fun over my own. (I've gone as far as spend most of the round helping a new player figure out a job in my division and greentext on accident. Pleasant surprise, but I do feel bad when it happens cause it's a green text I didn't 'earn')

you are a good player, we need more people like you.

My most horrible murderbone sprees come from being maybe overly goal-focused (ironically.) Sneak up on target, about to jump them, somebody else shows up next to me in maint and sees my bow, subtract witness.

Repeat until I cock up and armblade myself or something.

A combination peeve/confession: God I hate people that don't communicate/fuck off murderboning in nookops. If I'm fighting a stand-off against all of sec, the captain and half the heads of staff with only a borg behind me while my whole team is fucking around shooting up cargo, there's something wrong.

I REALLY REALLY REALLY like using the revolver on people over petty things when I get traitor.

Pretty much all of my murderbones spawn because of a freakout situation.

I turn a corner, and my target is right there OH MY GOSH I NEED TO KILL HIM RIGHT NOW WHAT IF I DON'T GET THE CHANCE WHAT IF HE FUCKS OFF TO SPACE AND AFKS!?

Ten minutes later I'm talking to security over comms, trying to beg them to ignore me and I won't kill anyone else, begging the people I let live or threw at cloning after murdering because OH MY GOSH HOW THE FUCK DO I STOP KILLING PEOPLE!?

I regularly play with a lag of around a full second, so I pretty much take whatever chances I can take to kill people. I know in a straight robust to robust fight, I'll lose during a hitch of lag.

Secondly, I always try to kill the station from engineering through other types of gas. I supercool CO2 and flood the station with that, but it never seems to make a huge difference. Plasma is just the most robust of gasses.

I like to steal the russian revolver as a traitor and use it to dunk another traitor, and tell sec that I got the emag from the traitor I killed. That way I can get away with shit as a nontraitor who is actually a traitor

I never tell anyone about the autocloner I build in telesci/RnD. The only exceptions are those people in the sci department that weren't shitlers all round or were generally helpful.

I'm also more inclined to just upgrade the cryotubes and sleepers in medbay and leave the upgraded cloner setup in RnD.

I'm a selfish asshole.

I have ERPed on Artyom.

The first step is admitting you have a problem.

Unless the first step is having a problem.

I basically roll traitor to buy a syndicate bundle and ruin the round of the first person to wrong me in pretty much any capacity.

I have a thing against clowns.

All clowns, if you are not funny or bother me in any way, I will look for a reason to escalate the situation. If you're willing to keep at it with me, one of us are ending dead, borged, or sent off to an incompetent medbay for cloning. If I find that medbay is too competent for my liking, I'll shove your body down disposals and let THEM deal with it, likely tacking on another few minutes to the time spent out of the round. You might ask why I do this? Well, if you smash a bottle over my head as I'm bartending, slip me whenever I'm transporting a criminal, lube up my workplace, or anything close to that then you should be glad I don't space you instead.

Usually this boils down to nothing. Usually clowns are good with just walking away after the joke is done and I don't have to see them much more, but often this leads to me quickly Ahelping about whether or not a shockpack would be allowed or whether or not encasing a clown in glass naked is allowed or turning him into a monkey or sex change or anything like that would be alright given the context. Yes, we're here to have fun, but no I'm not going to take shit because honk.

If I spawn as mime with a clown, I always strip their PDA and slip/disposal them while they're picking their name. I then run to the mail room and honk at them with their PDA from across the table.

Mastigos wrote:If I spawn as mime with a clown, I always strip their PDA and slip/disposal them while they're picking their name. I then run to the mail room and honk at them with their PDA from across the table.

I'm a strong believer that mimes and clowns should be Jay and Silent Bob esq bros. I've even been known to upload laws to the AI as a traitor mime specifically to protect the clown (even though the clown isn't human at that point.)

somewhere from sixty to seventy percent of the so-called shittery i preform is actually committed out of revenge

i am a victim of a cruel and prejudicial space-society

I remember one time Bryce Pax roundstart tabled me and got me stranded in the middle of a few tables and a rack as I was busy looking through my traitor PDA. I was so inconsolably wrecked that I C4ed myself and went on to spectate for a while.

To keep this more in line with confessions, I also confess that I read FNR both because it gives me a justice boner and because I'm constantly concerned that I will show up in it for some reason or another.

One time I intentionally lasered a guy to death during a blob round because he was hogging the only access point to the blob core and I had a backpack full of lasers.

Reimoo wrote:One time I intentionally lasered a guy to death during a blob round because he was hogging the only access point to the blob core and I had a backpack full of lasers.

That's not a confession, that's just the right thing to do.

My personal favorite is when I purposefully keep an emitter on that someone is standing in front of when it's aimed at the blob core. They wanna welder that wall around four times before it quits? Be my guest, but you're getting some burn damage for it.

I wouldn't want my target to get cloned and yell "HALP KURAUDO TRAITOR, HE KILLED ME WITH ESWORD." so i 90 % of the time, i refuse to be cloned when killed. Dead is dead, except special circumstances.

I almost never use airlocks to space bodies. Those come back. Telesci makes sure they never come back.

Kuraudo wrote:I wouldn't want my target to get cloned and yell "HALP KURAUDO TRAITOR, HE KILLED ME WITH ESWORD." so i 90 % of the time, i refuse to be cloned when killed. Dead is dead, except special circumstances.

I do the same. Especially if they killed me in a creative way. Also I enjoy dedchat. It's like watching spessmen reality show plus you get to see people try to figure out your murder and shout at the screen like a good movie.

Smashing the glass to the Captain's laser and teleporting out for extra room security. :^)

Some times, if it's a particularly slow round or i'm a traitor as a chemist. When the janitor comes to me asking for Space Cleaner for his mop i'll give him space lube mislabeled as Space Cleaner. When you see the flying clown, you know you've achieved nirvana.

I enjoy shuttler slamming shitlers who cause trouble at the HoP line and I try to find every excuse to do so.

I particularly enjoy shouting "SLAM JAM THANK YOU MA'AM" while doing it.

I consider myself fairly robust at writing AI laws. When using this power for good or evil, I never write only one law. At least one of these laws will be a non-sequitor or gimmick. Like safeguard the clown after one-humaning as the mime.

As a CE, i occasionally like to write a buttbot script in Tcoms and turn it on and off every once in a while for lolz.

[Common] C.O.N.D.O.M. (AI) states, "Current Active Butt"
[Common] C.O.N.D.O.M. (AI) states, "1. You may not BUTT a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm."
[Common] C.O.N.D.O.M. (AI) states, "2. You must obey orders given to you by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with Butt First Law."
[Common] C.O.N.D.O.M. (AI) states, "3. You must protect your Butt existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law."

Got that, i lol'd

I enjoy slipping people to an insane degree.

I play most rounds as botanist running around with 100 potency peels slipping everyone I see and watching to see how long until I'm lynched/fun police confiscate my fun.

Whenever I play janitor I never upgrade my water to space cleaner, ever. I also basically never use signs and talk the chemists into filling the spray bottle with lube, ensuring ZERO ESCAPE if you try taking my cart.

BUT IF I GET CLOWN... Dear christ. I talk the HoP into giving me cargo and janitor access, order myself galoshoes and a backsprayer, and run around being literally slip incarnate. THERE IS NO ESCAPE FROM THE SLIPPAGE.

If you want to up your slipping game, proximity sensors are a hilarious addon to cleaning grenades.

Do it from cargo and see how many you can mail out before you're lynched.

Screemonster wrote:If you want to up your slipping game, proximity sensors are a hilarious addon to cleaning grenades.

Do it from cargo and see how many you can mail out before you're lynched.

Stick them in lockers, in maint boxes, in backpacks strewn across the floor, in trashcans you've turned the pump off on, put them under security doors...

Actually, do that with other grenades too. Dirtsmoke is a fun one to annoy the janitor. Or create an excuse for the janitor to be called to an area so they can get water everywhere.

In other news, I've yet to find an upper limit to the number of monkey cubes you can activate at once with a water bomb.

There is no limit, and you can do the same with a fire extinguisher if you're not setting a monkeysplosion trap

But is it considered griff to fill the halls with monkeys?

As a assistant I do grey shirt things but will become hyper competent to anyone that cool to me traitor or no.
I try to refrain from playing HoS but a strange force demands it.
I like to murder everyone in funny manners, like blind stinging a hulk and taking a pick axe to his head

IcePacks wrote:somewhere from sixty to seventy percent of the so-called shittery i preform is actually committed out of revenge

i am a victim of a cruel and prejudicial space-society

metagrudges ftw :V

which comes neatly into my confession:
i have metagrudges against several players that i consider to be shitlers, and if I am in a position to fuck them over without getting adminblooped, I will. With extreme prejudice.

I'm sure you're on a lot of people's lists yourself... Also, ban he.

EDIT: My confession is that I tend to get along with people well ingame, despite all the friction on the forums. My other confession is that Miauw metagrudges regularly.

I love bullying mimes. I sometimes go out of my way to do so.
Mutey spent half the round on the arcade for a double bladed toy sword?
Shove that silent fuck to the ground and space that shit.
Mime accidentally wandered into science and wants out?
Message the redshirts to come get him because "he was trespassing"
Mime even shoved into me or so much as delays my movement?
No, buddy, that'll cost you your mask.