/tg/Station 13

Bottom post of the previous page:

Coravin was a traitor, and Cerryl didn't last long after HBL joined.
One of these days, I'll succeed in my nefarious plans.

>double agent
>tell my target i'm going to kill him
>cook off a grenade too short
>scramble to pick it up and throw it at him again
>die

>late join as Mary Abrams, Cargo Tech
>ur a tater, Mary
>Steal HoS's laser
>FUCK
>Spawn emag, minibomb, soap, freedom implant
>Ihavenoideawhatimdoing.jpg
>On edge all round, trying to come up with a plan
>For once, the other cargo crew is actually in cargo bay, so emagging the console isn't gonna work
>Some disaster leads the shuttle to be called
>See the HoS and Captain on the bridge
>FUCK IT, HAIL MARY (har) TIME
>Emag in, ready bomb, click to throw
>I MISSED THE THROW BUTTON
>sothisishowidie.jpg
>Drop the bomb and try to run
>Get one tile away before it goes off
>For some reason the captain dragged my corpse off the bridge and left it in the hallway. Nice of him, I guess.

TheNightingale wrote: The HoP is offering access. You watch the Botanist become a Security Officer.
That's not suspicious at all.

10 quid says the Warden trusted the botan-cop because of a loyalty implant.

>LLA Story
>Theres a PMC called perseus that is the equalvilant of a nanotrasen nuke ops, probally more robust than Deathsquad
>Playing CE, chilling out and shit
>Girl named Cynthia hates my guts from me fucking her over in past rounds (She was traitor, I was Traitor, everything was legit, i may or may not have validhunted her)
>Cynthia does some shit to me, dont remember long time ago
>Shits really bad, pisses me off alot
>Drink some Gin
>Kidnap Cynthia, Lock her in maint, in a locker, handcuffed, straight jacked, and muzzled behind a bolted door, with the bolt lights turned off, she has no radio
>NOTE: 80% of Perseus players are admins (see: hattick)
>To my fucking surprise, random ass sec officer comes and stuns and arrests me
>takes me to robotics for some fucking reason
>AND OUT OF THE FUCKING BLUE
>CYNTHIA SHOWS UP WITH A FUCKING PERSEUS OFFICER, AND THE HOS BEHIND HER
>do a fucking backflip out of my chair
>insta ghost because shits to angery for me, go pour a glass of gin in real life, enjoy that shit
>turns out perseus WELDED through the RWALLs surrounding her, took her out of the locker, and gave her all her shit back THAT I HID AROUND THE STATION
>admin fuckery 101 (see: flavoredcactus)

TheNightingale wrote: Coravin has an energy gun. We are curious as to where it came from, since we are the only source of all-access on the station. The Armory?
We throw a flashbang, but are downed by the energy gun and cuffed.
We are stripped, because the Assistants want our access.
We have had enough of this. We change our form to that of a monkey, scamper towards the Assistants, and, becoming a human, prepare our armbl-
We are lasered to death. We did not account for them carrying the entire Armory.
Rather than being borged, we are dragged to the gibber. We note that the Assistants are probably not even Syndicate agents: this is normal behaviour for them.
We are turned into delicious Cadence Meme-meat, which is never used.

That was actually hilariously derpy of you from my end, but e-guns also have a laser setting remember (There's one in the cap's locker) and if that wasn't enough I stole the antique laser gun (which I used to break open the captain's locker and get his e-gun and headset).

I guess I'm sorry for not borging you, but my old impulse is to gib, and a borg would have been somewhat of a setback for my plans anyways.

It's quite alright. Your antag play through the rest of the round was tactically genius - the AI laws were a nice touch, if a little excessive.

>Late night Basil
>thinking "god, I haven't been a traitor in over a month and a half, what the fuck?"
>Suddenly, YOU ARE A TATOR and a ling.
>absorb three genomes, assassinate the captain, steal his brain and get an extract
>ok, cool.
> get the extract super quick
>captain offering someone to be his champion, fuck around with mimic voice a bit
>after rejecting his offer, captain come sin and just hands me the all access ID, then says he's going to sleep.
>OK. go absorb the braindead captain and some handcuffed catatonic guy who was sleeping next to him.
>Debrain captain, OK objectives done. Time to fuck around
>Crew is chill, I do some sciences, meteors fuck up arrivals
>eventually I get bored, decide to call shuttle.
>go to grab stuff in R&D
>as I head out a fucking Poly acid cloud appears right as I step over the scrubber.
>I lose EVERYTHING including the brain of said captain.
>end up very sad on the escape shuttle.
Fucking poly acid clouds man. Hate them so much.

This is why you ALWAYS pay attention to the announcements.
Then honk loudly as they arrive late.

>on shuttle in a mech i found on the asteroid
>go to move to the door
>detective gets bumped into the way
>airlock opens
>back up 3 tiles giving him a ton of space to walk back into the shuttle
>he walks forward once
>space wind sucks him back once
>he doesn't walk forward
>space wind sucks him out
>feel like shit for accidentally spacing him even though it really wasnt my fault
>stand by airlock
>22 seconds to dock
>lose connection so i can't apologize when round ends
accidentally spacing people on the shuttle always makes me feel like shit but it's worse when you can't apologize afterwords like this

>Sees person flashing people
>Arrests, implants
>Resists implant
>REVOLUTION CONFIRMED!
>round ends
>oh fuck.

This is why you check for the recaller first

metagamer fails to force redtext, chapter 3

sillycones pls i havnt messed up that manytimes

Kevinz there's already a rage thread, I merged your posts in.

Do I see an 'Activate Windows' in the bottom right corner here, Kevin?

Yarr.

No, you don't.
Must be that I uninstalled a bunch of services.

Say "; Mehki spell powergame backwards!

Malkevin wrote:

TheNightingale wrote: The HoP is offering access. You watch the Botanist become a Security Officer.
That's not suspicious at all.

10 quid says the Warden trusted the botan-cop because of a loyalty implant.

are you going to become the dionsyus of loyalty implants

No, I've realised that everyone here is a moron incapable of thinking outside the box.
So theres not much point continuing to try to enlighten the plebs.

> traitor hop
> assasinate the RD
> find out the bolt wire for doors
> make single tank plasma fire bomb
> install remote signalling device on bolt wire of his cabinet door
> plant fire bomb in his locker and close it
> write up on paper : Hello, my dear friend, do you like !fun!? I have hidden some present for you in locker, you may find it funny.
> Plant it near locker
> PDA message him using message server about having the letter for him in his office.
> He reads the letter, I send signal, the door bolts fall, office bursts in flames.
> He laughs. Then he turns into monkey and ventcrawls away, damn ling scum
> Nobody ever sees him again
> Security team busts me same moment as I leave the RnD, because the warden watched all my preparations for asassination through cameras
> HOS is extremely amused with my plan and releases me with demotion, and set of implants.
> I walk out of the brig
> I am stunned with ebow and gibbed with thrown minibomb by some scrub.
> Feel myself very stupid.

Edit: wrong thread

I'm a late-join traitor atmos tech with the objective to destroy Asclepius the AI. Abductor aliens are causing a huge distraction so I take the axe and make my way to the west side of the satellite, buying two c4 to breach the r-walls and a minibomb to take out the core APC.

I attach the c4 to the wall and use my suit's inbuilt jetpack, flying away in a straight line, I give it enough time that I thought it detonated and head back. The c4 detonates, sending 3 pieces of glass and 4 rods to impale me. I died in under 5-7 seconds but apparently the AI saw what happened and calls out that I'm dying. A sec officer retrieves my corpse and I get defibbed then cryo'd but not searched. I limp my way back to the AI sat through space fighting off low blood but the shuttle is almost here, use another c4 to breach the final wall, toss a minibomb but it doesn't take out the apc, go to toss a second one and I can't because the tiles are dark, I drop it before it blows and run. I come back, card the AI and try to make it to the engi pod since I can just wipe it during the trip.

The shuttle leaves and the AI apologizes for causing me to miss the shuttle. I decide not to kill it, turn on it's wireless and radio, then we wander the station aimlessly until the end. I'd have gotten the AI if I'd remembered about explosions throwing things and hadn't gotten myself speared.

That was an awfully nice AI, though.

> HOP
> Clown named Traitor comes in, asks for engineering and maint access for building honk fortress
> Sure, why not?
> HALP, clown killing everyone in engineering
> HALP, clown releasing singulo and blowing up SMES
> Halp, clown releasing toxins
> Halp, clown blowing up comms
> Power rapidly goes out everywhere, guess there should be HALP, clown setting up power sink.
> Get station bounced radio
> HALP clown onehumaning AI
> HALP, singulo heading to brig
> Feel guilt for my stupidity.

>Gang leader, old gang version
>Start converting some folks
>Engiborg gets on my case, stop and pretend to be normal helpful crew
>I make a joke at Mekhi Anderson's expense
>Cap likes the joke
>Invites me to his office
>OBOYOFUCKOBOY
>Decide to RP along, take a seat
>Captain asks if I am willing to protect the clown
>Clown is my gangmate
>Say yes, but I'll need all-access to do it
>Captain to my surprise agrees!
>Gives me a medal...
>And an e-gun...
>I'm sitting in a chair right in front of him, he's armed, can't do shit
>Ask if the captain can speed it up
>"NO, JUST BE PATIENT"
>Gives me a radio headset...
>And different clothes...
>Reports of gang recruitment over the radio
>Ask again if captain can speed it up
>NO
>Takes my ID...
>Slowly slips it into the computer...
>And out...
>Finally gives me all-access
>I fuck off and am immediately gangbanged by members of the opposing gang
>Deadchat starts bitching at me for not converting more
>Captain, in deadchat: "I only did it because I know you hate RP."

bandit wrote:>Gang leader, old gang version
>Start converting some folks
>Engiborg gets on my case, stop and pretend to be normal helpful crew
>I make a joke at Mekhi Anderson's expense
>Cap likes the joke
>Invites me to his office
>OBOYOFUCKOBOY
>Decide to RP along, take a seat
>Captain asks if I am willing to protect the clown
>Clown is my gangmate
>Say yes, but I'll need all-access to do it
>Captain to my surprise agrees!
>Gives me a medal...
>And an e-gun...
>I'm sitting in a chair right in front of him, he's armed, can't do shit
>Ask if the captain can speed it up
>"NO, JUST BE PATIENT"
>Gives me a radio headset...
>And different clothes...
>Reports of gang recruitment over the radio
>Ask again if captain can speed it up
>NO
>Takes my ID...
>Slowly slips it into the computer...
>And out...
>Finally gives me all-access
>I fuck off and am immediately gangbanged by members of the opposing gang
>Deadchat starts bitching at me for not converting more
>Captain, in deadchat: "I only did it because I know you hate RP."

Malkevin wrote:No, I've realised that everyone here is a moron incapable of thinking outside the box.
So theres not much point continuing to try to enlighten the plebs.

are you seriously still so mad about that you have to drag it into other threads

don't turn into a drpillz

Why would I be mad that people are stupider than me?
Really its just disappointment, it's no wonder security has a reputation as being a bunch of goons that can barely tell which end of the baton to hold.

Anyway, I posted my post in this thread around the same time I made that thread, blame Meeowth for dredging up a month old post

> you are an AI
> Hey, ai, let me on your sat.
> Access granted, request completed
> Hey, let me in your core, I want to hug you.
> ok
> Access granted, request completed
> He can only shake me to wake me up, no hugs
> He builds up the bed, puts purple bedsheet on his back and begins giving me lecture about russian political philosophy of 19th century
> ADMIN PM : bayscrub : hey, you let him into your core without two heads and security member and he is not connected to robotics, he is just assistant, YOU BREAK DA LAWS, I AM DA LAW
> PM to bayshitler : I was acting up to asimov laws, they dont have anything about two heads and security member being required to open my core.
> You have been permabanned : reason - does not understand AI laws
> fucking wow

qwert wrote:> you are an AI
> Hey, ai, let me on your sat.
> Access granted, request completed
> Hey, let me in your core, I want to hug you.
> ok
> Access granted, request completed
> He can only shake me to wake me up, no hugs
> He builds up the bed, puts purple bedsheet on his back and begins giving me lecture about russian political philosophy of 19th century
> ADMIN PM : bayscrub : hey, you let him into your core without two heads and security member and he is not connected to robotics, he is just assistant, YOU BREAK DA LAWS, I AM DA LAW
> PM to bayshitler : I was acting up to asimov laws, they dont have anything about two heads and security member being required to open my core.
> You have been permabanned : reason - does not understand AI laws
> fucking wow

Baystation AI laws aren't Asimov.

Drynwyn wrote:

qwert wrote:> you are an AI
> Hey, ai, let me on your sat.
> Access granted, request completed
> Hey, let me in your core, I want to hug you.
> ok
> Access granted, request completed
> He can only shake me to wake me up, no hugs
> He builds up the bed, puts purple bedsheet on his back and begins giving me lecture about russian political philosophy of 19th century
> ADMIN PM : bayscrub : hey, you let him into your core without two heads and security member and he is not connected to robotics, he is just assistant, YOU BREAK DA LAWS, I AM DA LAW
> PM to bayshitler : I was acting up to asimov laws, they dont have anything about two heads and security member being required to open my core.
> You have been permabanned : reason - does not understand AI laws
> fucking wow

Baystation AI laws aren't Asimov.

That is correct. It could be he was playing on a Bay-style server with Asimov laws, though.

That is admittedly possible, though I don't know of any servers that fit that description.

There's a few other 'hard RP' servers, but they are usually even more garbage than Bay.

Apollo 17 is definitely one such place, dials the autism up to 11.

Baystation AI laws aren't Asimov.[/quote]

Russian bay12 servers often replace corporate with asimov to prevent : oh, this guy removed floor tile, lets kill him.

bandit wrote:>Gang leader, old gang version
>Start converting some folks
>Engiborg gets on my case, stop and pretend to be normal helpful crew
>I make a joke at Mekhi Anderson's expense
>Cap likes the joke
>Invites me to his office
>OBOYOFUCKOBOY
>Decide to RP along, take a seat
>Captain asks if I am willing to protect the clown
>Clown is my gangmate
>Say yes, but I'll need all-access to do it
>Captain to my surprise agrees!
>Gives me a medal...
>And an e-gun...
>I'm sitting in a chair right in front of him, he's armed, can't do shit
>Ask if the captain can speed it up
>"NO, JUST BE PATIENT"
>Gives me a radio headset...
>And different clothes...
>Reports of gang recruitment over the radio
>Ask again if captain can speed it up
>NO
>Takes my ID...
>Slowly slips it into the computer...
>And out...
>Finally gives me all-access
>I fuck off and am immediately gangbanged by members of the opposing gang
>Deadchat starts bitching at me for not converting more
>Captain, in deadchat: "I only did it because I know you hate RP."

Give that man a fucking medal

>Be on fairly high (for normal) Basil
>Join in on the section inbetween rounds. Sweet!
>Be captain for the first time, because I'm the only one with it above Never (low)
>Oh, hey, this is going to be fun!
>NO, FUCK YOU, no fun allowed
>Get my gear ready, including laser gun pew pew
>"Turn up yer suit sensors ya gibbons"
>Go order some Combat Shotty Crates for SCIENCE
>Sent crates to R&D on Mulebots
>Have my PDA out because I'm messaging the RD
>Mime comes up and knocks it out of my hands, takes it
>Fucking mimes bro
>Chase after him a while, attempt to handcuff him
>Mime knocks my handcuffs out of my hands, handcuffs me
>FUCKING MIMES BRO
>Mime fucks off somewhere
>Assistant was watching the whole time
>Takes off my Headset and drags me into Maint
>Oh no no no fuck this
>Changeling Assistant
>Absorbs me and steals my identity
>Says I'm an "Ugly bastard"
>Die a little inside
>Goes and does fuck all for a little while
>A Spanish Wizard with Hulk comes to the Station
>needs the Medals of Captaincy
>Changeling kills the HoP because... because
>Goes and fucks off into a closet and sits AFK for the rest of the round
>Wizard spends the rest of the round yelling at people, trying to find Medal
>Shuttle is called and arrives, everyone leaves
>Wizard fails because he doesn't realize there is a Medal of Captaincy in the Captain's office
>Changeling only completes one objective
>Didn't even have to kill me to complete any of his Objectives
>Die a lot inside
>10/10 would become depressed because of Spessmen again

TL;DR Version
>Be captain for the first time
>Die within ten minutes

Fuck people who decide that their murderboner is boring and go AFK after killing people and hiding bodies.

If you have to go, at least say over radio where you left the bodies. Common courtesy braw

Not-Dorsidarf wrote:Fuck people who decide that their murderboner is boring and go AFK after killing people and hiding bodies.

If you have to go, at least say over radio where you left the bodies. Common courtesy braw

Fucking Mimes though

Yeah, if you decide to go fuck off, at least tell people where the bodies are so they can be cloned and the round can continue.

Also, that El Macho Wizard wasn't able to greentext because the Ling AFK'd. Man, that Wizard was awesome.

>wizard
>get blink, magic missile, an apprentice
>also get EMP, haven't tried it before
>break into bridge, steal laser gun as per objective
>fighting security in the captain's office
>out of charge
>decide to EMP, drain others guns
>arcade machine explodes
>"You can't use magic, you've been knocked over by an explosion rather than a taser!"
>die
>get hidden in genetics pod
>apprentice doesn't find me
>get made into sandwiches

Next time:

>wizard again
>get mind transfer and three apprentices
>fight security in the bridge
>try to transfer into captain
>accidentally transfer into critted body of an apprentice who transferred before it happened
>dying slowly
>apprentices don't notice, or at least don't do anything
>die
>never get cloned

I swear all my wizard rounds end a couple minutes in. Frustrating as hell, and then they continue for about an hour while my apprentices don't bring me back.

> Bay
> Wizard
> Emp and different spells
> Teleport to brig
> Use emp
> I HAVE ARTIFICIAL HEART, DAMN, I HAVE FUCKING HEART ATTACK

Toaster wizards on Bay were always fun.

Especially when EMP'd robolimbs could explode without emagging them first.

>roboticist
>get the welding mask
>colleague tries to disarm it from me
>fails
>runs off
>what a great shift this will be
>comes back
>doesn't act shit to me
>alright
>helps building borgs and such
>two different people want to be borged
>miner won't leave to the asteroid until he gets a ripley
>captain wants a new ai
>give them what they want
>scientist comes to my desk
>asks where his order is
>ask him what order
>on radio he tells RD to fire me for not knowing about the order
>the order was on the science radio channel somewhere
>was too busy doing all the other shit to notice it
>tells me to forget about it
>runs off
>RD threatens to bomb robotics for not getting R&D the mech syringe guns they ordered
>yet another guy wants to get borged
>remove his brain
>oh shit we are out of MMIs
>not enough tech for them
>go to R&D
>the scientist was only kidding when he said to forget about the mech syringe guns
>it was the only way they knew how to do research
>alright
>build them their shit
>finally make an mmi for the brain
>one more guy wants to be borged
>jk it was a gang leader
>get converted
>the other roboticist is in the rival gang
>tries to kill/capture me
>run off while rival gangsters are distracted chasing the captain
>eventually the rival gang wins

I really should have just gone to Basil like the server notice told me to. Fuck high pop Sybil rounds.

> HOP
> Nobody comes to change job
> Wild fuel tank appears
> Asks me to give him a job
> Hmm, do you have any useful skills?
> I can give fuel, I can leave trace of fuel, I can explode.
> Sign fuel tank for security, create crew and security record for fuel tank
> Happy fuel tank goes to brig, leaving trace of fuel behind.
> Spooked warden shoots fuel tank with laser venting brig to space and killing everyone in brig.

That Warden was a) dumb and b) made me laugh.
Also, you shoulda signed that tank on for Engineering.

>Join Sybil because noone at Basil
>Cargo Technican, well ok.
>Get gear
>Do cargo shit when suddenly I'm attacked by Chaplain (the guy wasn't even antag)
>Get killed in middle of hallway
>He just takes my insulated gloves and toolbelt
>I JUST GOT KILLED OVER INSULATED GLOVES AND TOOLBELT
>Suddenly floor is lava
>Ghost
>Singularity is loose
>Plasma fires
>No power
>Escape exploded
>No gravity
>All within 30 minutes from start.
What.
>Ok, I'll pAI
>Become pAI
>Suddenly a Borg kills my master
>Everyone wants to restart the round
>New guy takes me
>Wipes me out because he can't figure out how to imprint his DNA


11/10

Please tell me you got that Chaplain b&.

DemonFiren wrote:Please tell me you got that Chaplain b&.

Only daybad sadly.

>plasmamen are merged
>server updated
>oh boy oh boy plasmaman first contact!
>centcomm announcement about delegation
>ask for some ghosties to go exploring with me
>2 other guys, we plasmaman gear up and get on the shuttle
>decide we're an exploratory team for first contact
>dock
>"OH WE HAVE PLASMAMEN NOW?" says metagame mcfuckroleplay
>lawyers and cargo staff greytiding into the shuttle while the hop tries to talk to us
>mime strips one guy and we all ignite
>complain a lot and go to the bridge
>talking to the hop
>lawyer still attacking us
>security has not spoken a word to us this whole time
>flashbanged cuffed and split up
>put in xenobio, no idea where the others are
>talking to borg and scientist
>md keeps trying to break in with a knife
>warn them
>warn them again
>they disposal in and attack me
>shoot them to death
>warden drags away the body and tells off the other sec officer
>reunite, somehow, with the other guys while being led out by the hop
>hop begs us to take him with us on our shuttle
>"Frankly, man in blue, we think it's better after this experience that our species... Keep away from each other."

And that's how one of the most poorly behaved crews I've ever seen destroyed all hope of positive NT-Plasmaman relations for quite some time

I was ignited four times, attacked by three different people (Five if you count Security's surprise takedown), held prisoner, never got to speak to the Captain, and promptly went on to file a scathing report about the strange bulky oxygen-breathing barbarians we had a very unpleasant first contact with.

And this is why you run events on Basil.

You don't get to talk to anyone, either, but at least you won't get beat.