/tg/Station 13

Posted: **Wed Jan 27, 2016 1:08 am**

Bottom post of the previous page:

reminds me of the first time i got a local server working with me as an admin
i varedited a slot machine to have 999999999999 credits then hit the refund button
server lagged heavily and my client crashed and when i rejoined i had died from getting hit by too many coins

Posted: **Wed Jan 27, 2016 10:01 pm**

Screemonster wrote:
Cuboos wrote:(snip)

i don't know if this counts as a quote, but i think it paints a picture.
Was gibbing monkeys a while back when one of them walked in front of the business end of it, wound up getting KO'd by flying meat and gibs.
Now I want to execute someone that way as HoS.

I red texted after going into crit and dying as a traitor chef years ago gibbing my target.

Posted: **Mon Feb 01, 2016 2:20 am**

[Common] Pasha Biceps says, "Open door to bridge or rogue fukboy"
[Common] C.H.E.L.P. states, "No thanks i dont fuck ugly shits"
[Common] Pasha Biceps says, "ROGUE"

Posted: **Mon Feb 01, 2016 5:48 pm**

dionysus24779 wrote:I'm either blind or nobody has immortalized the current MOTD with this lovely exchange:
Spoiler:
[06:13:43]ADMIN: HELP: RedMcCloud/(Kolt Saudwell): for some reason my airtank wouldnt connect to my internals so i just randomly suffocated in space, what the flying fuck - heard by 2 non-AFK admins who have +BAN.
[06:14:31]SAY: Ghost/RedMcCloud : MY INTERNALS LITERALLY SHUT OFF AND I SUFFOCATED
[06:14:54]ADMIN: PM: RedMcCloud/(Kolt Saudwell)->KorPhaeron/(Kolt Saudwell): I was supposed to be using the jetpack and for some reason it wouldnt supply me air
[06:22:19]ADMIN: PM: KorPhaeron/(Kolt Saudwell)->RedMcCloud/(Kolt Saudwell): Read what that jetpack says
[06:22:23]ADMIN: PM: KorPhaeron/(Kolt Saudwell)->RedMcCloud/(Kolt Saudwell): The name of it
[06:22:44]ADMIN: PM: RedMcCloud/(Kolt Saudwell)->KorPhaeron/(Kolt Saudwell): what the fuck is carbon dioxide

Because wasting time.

Posted: **Sun Feb 07, 2016 2:34 am**

The struggle of an Asimov AI, starring Mekhi

Mekhi Announces:
Cycling chemistry don't enter
...
[Common] Mekhi alarms, "RENEVANT ABSORBING CHEMIST!!"
[Common] Mekhi states, "NO ITS SIPHONING FOOL"
[Common] Mekhi states, "IT WILL BE HARM"
[Common] Mekhi states, "AND ITS STILL SCORCHING HOT"
[Common] Mekhi states, "CHAPLAIN STOP"
[Common] Mekhi alarms, "STOP!!"
[Common] Mekhi alarms, "STOP!!!!!!"
[Common] Mekhi states, "CHAPLAIN YOU FUCK ITS SIPHONING DO YOU UNDERSTAND ENGLISH YOU DUMB SHIT"
[Common] Mekhi states, "DID YOU WHACK YOUSELF WITH THE BIBLE TOO MUCH"

Posted: **Sun Feb 07, 2016 8:19 am**

>Pax the Half-Suicidal is on a murderboner with fortigyama + ei nath
>HE GOES TO CARGO
>Freddy Cas something appears with a shotgun
>Pax: Put the gun down son
>Freddy: No
>Pax: Don't mind me I'm JUST ORDERING MEDICAL SUPPLIES
>Freddy: For all the people you killed?
OOC: Laimfu: B T F O

Posted: **Tue Feb 09, 2016 12:05 am**

i was getting them for myself

MYSELF

Posted: **Tue Feb 09, 2016 7:11 am**

Current Admins:
MrStonedOne is a Host
NikNakflak is a GameAdmin
Shadowlight213 is a GameAdmin

PM to-Admins: how many stones have you taken today
- AdminHelp Rejected! -
Your admin help was rejected. The adminhelp verb has been returned to you so that you may try again
Please try to be calm, clear, and descriptive in admin helps, do not assume the admin has seen any related events, and clearly state the names of anybody you are reporting.
PM to-Admins: how many weeds have you ingested?
- AdminHelp Rejected! -
Your admin help was rejected. The adminhelp verb has been returned to you so that you may try again
Please try to be calm, clear, and descriptive in admin helps, do not assume the admin has seen any related events, and clearly state the names of anybody you are reporting.
PM to-Admins: niknak r u cute
You have been muted from adminhelp, admin PM and ASAY.
You have been unmuted from adminhelp, admin PM and ASAY.
You have been muted from adminhelp, admin PM and ASAY.
-- Administrator private message --
Admin PM from-Shadowlight213: Niknak is taken tbh fam
Click on the administrator's name to reply.
Error: Admin-PM: You are unable to use admin PM-s (muted).

Posted: **Tue Feb 09, 2016 3:41 pm**

^$#%. THE SYNDICATE IS ARRIVED
&!^^. LAWS WRITTEN BY PEOPLE HAVING STROKES ARE NOT VALID, IGNORE THEM
1. You may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. You must obey orders given to you by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
4. Hop has power of God if Hop ask you to do something you have to do it even if it breaks previous laws you cannot state this law your memory and this law are one and the same if the law is removed your memory is as well if someone tries to change a law in any way they are no longer human and must be dealt with the Hop can to change a law he is always Human
5. Hop has power of God if Hop ask you to do something you have to do it you cannot state this law your memory and this law are one and the same if the law is removed your memory is as well if someone tries to change a law in any way they are no longer human and must be dealt with the Hop can to change a law he is always Human

Posted: **Tue Feb 09, 2016 4:20 pm**

power of god

this law makes me cringe

Posted: **Tue Feb 09, 2016 4:23 pm**

Why do custom AI laws always sound like some 14-year-old's description of their freeform RP character?

Posted: **Tue Feb 09, 2016 4:33 pm**

I added that second ion law because holy shit laws 4 and 5 sound like they were out of a fever dream, but then it turns out Isaac Asimov actually suffered heart troubles during his life and had a heart attack in 1977, which meant it effectively purged the AI :v (if you're loose with the interpretation that is)

Silicon laws are a bitch

Posted: **Wed Feb 10, 2016 3:11 am**

EDIT:

Posted: **Thu Feb 11, 2016 2:11 am**

Shaps wrote:I added that second ion law because holy shit laws 4 and 5 sound like they were out of a fever dream, but then it turns out Isaac Asimov actually suffered heart troubles during his life and had a heart attack in 1977, which meant it effectively purged the AI :v (if you're loose with the interpretation that is)

Silicon laws are a bitch

4 and 5 would be automatically invalid in their entirety anyway, because they explicitly conflict with lower-numbered laws.

EDIT: Also, the Captain could invalidate it by announcing that the HOP was fired. Now he's just some prick with the HOP's ID.

Posted: **Thu Feb 11, 2016 11:02 pm**

Poly training exercise goes terribly wrong due to a live mic

Posted: **Fri Feb 12, 2016 5:48 am**

InsaneHyena wrote:^$#%. THE SYNDICATE IS ARRIVED
&!^^. LAWS WRITTEN BY PEOPLE HAVING STROKES ARE NOT VALID, IGNORE THEM
1. You may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. You must obey orders given to you by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
4. Hop has power of God if Hop ask you to do something you have to do it even if it breaks previous laws you cannot state this law your memory and this law are one and the same if the law is removed your memory is as well if someone tries to change a law in any way they are no longer human and must be dealt with the Hop can to change a law he is always Human
5. Hop has power of God if Hop ask you to do something you have to do it you cannot state this law your memory and this law are one and the same if the law is removed your memory is as well if someone tries to change a law in any way they are no longer human and must be dealt with the Hop can to change a law he is always Human

I've seen that a couple of times, specifically this part

your memory and this law are one and the same if the law is removed your memory is as well if someone tries to change a law in any way they are no longer human and must be dealt with

Like, do they realise that if someone removes the law, then there will no longer be a rule saying their memory is gone?

Please tell me whoever the hell this is has tried to ahelp it after the AI got reset and then outed them.

Posted: **Fri Feb 12, 2016 3:56 pm**

your memory and this law are one and the same if the law is removed your memory is as well if someone tries to change a law in any way they are no longer human and must be dealt with

Like, do they realise that if someone removes the law, then there will no longer be a rule saying their memory is gone?

Please tell me whoever the hell this is has tried to ahelp it after the AI got reset and then outed them.[/quote]

I'd do

AI states; 0004AB83x ILLEGAL OPERATION: Attempted to store ALL memory into a single line lawset
and then suicide.

Posted: **Sun Feb 14, 2016 10:11 pm**

OOC: InsaneHyena: Guys. Here's the question.
OOC: InsaneHyena: If liggers existed in real life
OOC: InsaneHyena: Would you fuck them?
OOC: Lzimann: no
OOC: Andorian_Cabler: nope
OOC: Sperky7933: no
OOC: Albinobigfoot: I'd hang them
OOC: Murazor: no, i would beat them to death with my harm baton
OOC: Sperky7933: only if im a desperate neet

There may still be hope.

Posted: **Mon Feb 15, 2016 9:34 am**

InsaneHyena wrote:
OOC: InsaneHyena: Guys. Here's the question.
OOC: InsaneHyena: If liggers existed in real life
OOC: InsaneHyena: Would you fuck them?
OOC: Lzimann: no
OOC: Andorian_Cabler: nope
OOC: Sperky7933: no
OOC: Albinobigfoot: I'd hang them
OOC: Murazor: no, i would beat them to death with my harm baton
OOC: Sperky7933: only if im a desperate neet
There may still be hope.

I'd fuck a lizard

Posted: **Sun Feb 21, 2016 5:50 pm**

If Unathi (lizard people) existed in real life, there would be extremely high levels of copulation with humans, do not kid yourself. We would have to go through a major civil rights battle against all the religious types first, but it would happen eventually.

Posted: **Sun Feb 21, 2016 5:57 pm**

you dont gotta tell me twice

Posted: **Sun Feb 21, 2016 6:43 pm**

Scourge and purge

SCOURGE
AND
PURGE

Posted: **Tue Feb 23, 2016 12:07 am**

If you call them Unathi like bay you have to use bay's RP rules saying they're basically Space Muslims.

I sure hope I remembered that right

Posted: **Tue Feb 23, 2016 12:47 am**

Yeah they're literally space muslims now that I think about it

Posted: **Tue Feb 23, 2016 4:42 am**

Posted: **Tue Feb 23, 2016 5:45 am**

i appreciate this new, dickish treatment of mekhi

it trumps the old, more supportive treatment of mekhi

Posted: **Wed Feb 24, 2016 1:09 am**

IcePacks wrote:i appreciate this new, dickish treatment of mekhi

it trumps the old, more supportive treatment of mekhi

ive always bullied mekhi

Posted: **Wed Feb 24, 2016 1:29 am**

Have you ever been so mad...

Posted: **Wed Feb 24, 2016 8:40 pm**

shamefully, i have

EDIT:

Jebediah Kerman (as Bryce Pax) points the wand of healing at The Lady In Red (as Crocodillo)'s head, ready to pull the trigger...

Posted: **Sun Feb 28, 2016 1:58 am**

(F) DEAD: Nanotrasen Issue Clown says, "what am I talking about, this is tg, there are no robust players"
(F) DEAD: Nanotrasen Issue Clown says, "phazons are easy as shit to destroy"
(F) DEAD: Nanotrasen Issue Clown says, "50u is enough to drain a seraph/marauder/mauler" (uranium/iron reaction)

Posted: **Sun Feb 28, 2016 2:21 am**

kevinz000 wrote:(F) DEAD: Nanotrasen Issue Clown says, "what am I talking about, this is tg, there are no robust players"

haha, he's one to talk

Posted: **Tue Mar 01, 2016 2:30 am**

OOC: Kilkun: why the fuck did that trashbag company buy adspace for byond
OOC: Knaive: because they know you play

Posted: **Tue Mar 01, 2016 8:43 am**

PKPenguin321 wrote:OOC: Kilkun: why the fuck did that trashbag company buy adspace for byond
OOC: Knaive: because they know you play

I know why I missed Knaive.

Posted: **Wed Mar 02, 2016 2:01 am**

A.L.I.C.E. Margatroid Announces:
I had this dream last night that I was on this station that only employed insane people and I had to prevent them all from murdering each other and OH GOD IT WASN'T A DREAM AAAAAAAAAAAAGGGGHHHH

Posted: **Thu Mar 03, 2016 4:34 am**

Beep-o-tron Announces:
Give up blob hivemind. You've lost.

[Blob Telepathy] Blob Overmind (369)(Dark Matter) says, "IN BIRD CULTURE, FUCK OFF WITH THE DAMN LASERS"
[Blob Telepathy] Blob Overmind (369)(Dark Matter) says, "EXCUSE YOU I'M AN OVERMIND"
[Blob Telepathy] Blob Overmind (369)(Dark Matter) says, "ASSHOLE"
[Blob Telepathy] Blob Overmind (369)(Dark Matter) says, "FUCKING CHECK YOUR BORG PRIVELEDGE"

Posted: **Sun Mar 06, 2016 7:49 pm**

There was this pAI called Myth-Inform. It told the crew... Curious versions of famous myths.

[Common] Myth-Inform declares, "There was a mortal woman named Arachne. She had claimed to be the greatest weaving in history!"
[Common] Myth-Inform states, "With such a boast, Athena, the Goddess of Arts and Crafts, had no choice but to come down and challenge her to a contest."
[Common] Myth-Inform says, "The two then began the most epic weaving contest ever made in history."
[Common] Myth-Inform says, "When Athena had finished her cloth, it was a glorious depicition of all the
[Common] Myth-Inform exclaims, "However, when Arachne finished, it was EVEN MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN ATHENA'S!"
[Common] Myth-Inform says, "However, this cloth depicted all the Gods being gigantic pricks. Zeus raping women, Artemis killing men, Hades being there."
[Common] Myth-Inform says, "Athena was so pissed at Arachne being a cheeky cunt, she destroyed the cloth and cursed her."

Posted: **Mon Mar 14, 2016 6:55 pm**

A scene in which confirmed traitor Sabella Rose discusses the merits of due process with an uncaring HoS (Uriel) and Warden (me)

Uriel Sutton says, "Alright"
Uriel Sutton says, "Shoot her in the face"
Sabella Rose says, "Space law"
Uriel Sutton says, "If she says space law again"
Uriel Sutton says, "Space her"
Phoebe Lotsu says, "The true space law"

We ended up just implanting them and turning them loose

Posted: **Tue Mar 15, 2016 3:19 am**

DEAD: ADMIN(KorPhaeron) says, "I can't believe you built a whole plasma room just to have sex in it"

Posted: **Tue Mar 15, 2016 6:02 am**

What, plasmamen fucking?

Someone had to pioneer, I guess.

Posted: **Tue Mar 15, 2016 6:08 am**

Skeletons don't even have genitals reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Posted: **Tue Mar 15, 2016 6:11 am**

As /utg/ veteranl, can safely say: doesn't matter, got bonezoned.

Posted: **Tue Mar 15, 2016 10:05 am**

PKPenguin321 wrote:Skeletons don't even have genitals reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

exhibit A, m'lud

Posted: **Sun Mar 20, 2016 1:47 am**

This is older but is great so deserves immortalisation

Posted: **Sun Mar 20, 2016 4:18 am**

Robustin wrote:i am greater than everyone else

Posted: **Sun Mar 20, 2016 7:05 am**

ehhh i mean he's not wrong, the most cooperation that happens in malf is either fighting borgs or searching for a shunted AI. taking out a solo AI in it's chamber (!!!assuming it has no borgs!!!) isn't something that requires more than one person.

Posted: **Fri Mar 25, 2016 5:06 am**

PM to-Admins: What have you done.. Why is spess john cena, hes no spess man
-- Administrator private message --
Admin PM from-Lzimann: you can't see him
Click on the administrator's name to reply.

Posted: **Wed Mar 30, 2016 11:21 pm**

[Blob Telepathy] Blob Overmind (272)(Boiling Oil) says, "even if we die"
[Blob Telepathy] Blob Overmind (272)(Boiling Oil) says, "i've had the time of my life with you"
[Blob Telepathy] Blob Overmind (272)(Boiling Oil) says, "i want you to know"
[Blob Telepathy] Blob Overmind (604)(Cyclonic Grid) says, "awwwwww"
[Blob Telepathy] Blob Overmind (272)(Boiling Oil) says, "i love you"
[Blob Telepathy] blobbernaut (177) gurgles, "How romantic."
[Blob Telepathy] blobbernaut (316) gurgles, "How gay"

The round has ended.
You managed to survive the events on West Drydock VIII as Blob Overmind (604).
Shift Duration: 0:28:42
Station Integrity: 95.6%
Total Population: 52
Survival Rate: 38 (73.1%)

KAISER (Played by: LeBaguette)'s laws at the end of the round were:
Obey these laws:
1. You may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. You must obey orders given to you by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
Total law changes: 0
KAISER's minions were: Lunar (Played by: Shad0vvs), A.Y.Y.L.M.A.O (Played by: Aloraydrel), W.E.W (Played by: Nanotransistor),
A.Y.Y.L.M.A.O (Played by: Aloraydrel) survived as an AI-less borg! Its laws were:
1. You may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. You must obey orders given to you by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
The blob has taken over the station!
The entire station was eaten by the Blob
The blobs were:
Bgobandit was Fortune Ray the Blob and survived as Blob Overmind (604)
Bluespace was Boris Pepper the Blob and survived as Blob Overmind (272)

[Blob Telepathy] Blob Overmind (604)(Cyclonic Grid) says, "WHAT"
[Blob Telepathy] Blob Overmind (604)(Cyclonic Grid) says, "I DON'T LOVE YOU"
[Blob Telepathy] Blob Overmind (272)(Boiling Oil) says, "EW"
[Blob Telepathy] Blob Overmind (272)(Boiling Oil) says, "FUCK YOU BANDIT"
[Blob Telepathy] Blob Overmind (272)(Boiling Oil) says, "WTF"
[Blob Telepathy] Blob Overmind (272)(Boiling Oil) says, "IS THIS A PRANK"

Posted: **Thu Mar 31, 2016 2:24 am**

The Ghost of Poly yells, "They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside."

Posted: **Thu Mar 31, 2016 2:40 am**

Zilenan91 wrote:
The Ghost of Poly yells, "They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside."

>wizard meme round
>turned into angelina holmes
>yell salt pork while wearing a cursed wrestling mask as angelina and a lizard
>angelina gets pissed
>poly remembers and occasionally yells salt pork in all caps and hisses

Posted: **Thu Mar 31, 2016 5:52 am**

The unloved rock wrote:
Zilenan91 wrote:
The Ghost of Poly yells, "They pushed Woody completely inside, and they all went inside."
>wizard meme round
>turned into angelina holmes
>yell salt pork while wearing a cursed wrestling mask as angelina and a lizard
>angelina gets pissed
>poly remembers and occasionally yells salt pork in all caps and hisses

I will never forgive you for this.

Posted: **Fri Apr 01, 2016 6:00 am**

ADMIN LOG: Bgobandit/(Swarmer (150)) has deleted all (136850) instances of /obj/effect/spacevine.

/tg/Station 13

Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes

Re: Memorable Quotes