/tg/Station 13

Bottom post of the previous page:

Destro5000 was Mutter the Mime and survived (used 0 TC)
Objective #1: Assassinate 7-Zark-7, the Cyborg. Success!
Objective #2: Escape on the shuttle or an escape pod alive and without being in custody. Fail.
The traitor has failed!

Jide61 was 7-Zark-7 the Cyborg and died
Objective #1: Assassinate Andrew Mason, the Lawyer. Success!
Objective #2: Escape on the shuttle or an escape pod alive and without being in custody. Fail.
The traitor has failed!

Wait, WHAT? How did that happen?!

Double agent round, probably. Or just a coincidence in a normal traitor round.

InsaneHyena wrote:Ahahahahahahaha

Holy shit, that's comedy gold.

It's shitcurity like this that makes me want to agree with Paprika.

Yeah that whole thing is basically just Daisy messing with someone and then proceeding to shit on them for what I assume is a good 10 minutes after they ask why they were randomly tased.

Though the IC in OOC was pretty funny.

DemonFiren wrote:It's shitcurity like this that makes me want to agree with Paprika.

>30 seconds brig time
>shitcurity

Come on. You can't be that humourless.

Actionb wrote:

DemonFiren wrote:It's shitcurity like this that makes me want to agree with Paprika.

>30 seconds brig time
>shitcurity

Come on. You can't be that humourless.

holding them in there for like five minutes before giving them the 30 seconds is the shitsec part

but really the instant they retaliated with the wrench my reaction flipped to "what the fuck were you expecting"

Yeah that was pretty damn funny

Security need to drag the rank and file face-first through the book occasionally, just to set the tone for their regular interactions.

There's such a thing as that and there's making up bullshit.

Was....was he an antag??

Jesus even Luke Cox is better then daisy

> All of those people who claim the Daisy is in the wrong here

Naomi Carter is a whiny bitch, who's at her worst when playing security. She once perma'd me for killing headrev during a rev round. As a detective. Shitty things should happen to shitty people.

Holding them in there for "five minutes" (like three) was due to my BYOND client shitting the bed, hence the "bluespace phenomena" comment. All of this was predicated on an earlier encounter that round where Naomi wouldn't stop interfering with me trying to arrest some antag in Medbay while like five hundred dudes swarmed the cramped surgery room and tried to murderstrip the guy for his traitor gear. I gave her every opportunity to walk away from the conflict without consequences before I went full shitcurity, which is where the log begins. Even then she was released with more than enough time to make the shuttle, before she tried to medicate me with a wrench.

Daisy is a good boy

That person straight up said "You deserve a job ban" IC lmao

"im a gay fail fucking faggot nigger and i have aids in my asshole" -kor phaeron

InsaneHyena wrote:Naomi Carter is a whiny bitch, who's at her worst when playing security. She once perma'd me for killing headrev during a rev round. As a detective. Shitty things should happen to shitty people.

This

TechnoAlchemist wrote:That person straight up said "You deserve a job ban" IC lmao

They've done worse

This

Yeah. I mean, I'm not saying that Naomi is the worst player I've ever seen on /tg/, but she's in my top ten. Maybe even five. Which reminds me that my favourite admin of all time, Sawu, decided not to do shit about this case and threatened to mute me if I kept bringing it up.

Sawu is too nice

I was once metagrudged and killed by a non antag for searching someone (the next round)

sawu gave them a warning

(F) Raul Leach yells, "I HAVE NO HEADSET AND I MUST SCREAM!!!"

[Security] Edward Sloan says, "Everyone and their brother has fingered it up by now though."
[Security] Luck says, "The same could be said for sarah hooker"

I love Luck.
We're Lucky to have him.

Wyzack wrote:[Security] Edward Sloan says, "Everyone and their brother has fingered it up by now though."
[Security] Luck says, "The same could be said for sarah hooker"

Was late at night and didn't realize the humor in what he said until now. That was a fun round, one of my favorite sec teams.

(F) Miku Frost says, "Make sure to take all your clothes and idtems off."

[Common] Automated Announcement System coldly states, "I'm New Don't Hurt Me Pls has signed up as Assistant"

BeeSting12 wrote:[Common] Automated Announcement System coldly states, "I'm New Don't Hurt Me Pls has signed up as Assistant"

Classic

I sent in an inspector. They came back with this report:

Delightful time on the station.
Enlightened by the Captain's knowledge.
Admired the competant security force.
Took a tour of the Tesla engine.
Had a fun time with the clown.

So much fun on the station.
Quilted a bit in the dorms.
Ultimate station, honestly.
Ate some candy with the mime.
Do please come to the station.

Snoop Dawg has signed up as botanist [youtube]XQ-QJaO2NYE[/youtube]

Viktor Stein says, "We have a level 70 priest coming to attack it"
(talking about revnant or something)

(F) DEAD: Kamala Zhao Huangdi says, "what is the point in doing a job when rounds last like 20 minutes"

(F) DEAD: Kamala Zhao Huangdi says, "I am permabanned from most every over server"

(F) DEAD: Kamala Zhao Huangdi says, "I think its funny"

(F) DEAD: Kamala Zhao Huangdi says, "well I tried on purpose"

(F) DEAD: Kamala Zhao Huangdi says, "its just fun to antag till you drop' you know"

(F) DEAD: Kamala Zhao Huangdi says, "even when its not """official""""

And yes, this is chocolai.

The world is suddenly bright and sudden and loud!
You feel your body weight suddenly, as your mind suddenly comprehends where you are and what is going on.
Bryce Pax (as Unknown) says, "PAX GET REVENGE."
Bryce Pax (as Unknown) yells, "PAX GET REVENGE!!"
You have a seizure!

Leafy-Is-Here asks, "Is this food kosher?"
Forgot Name asks, "NOW WE HAVE LIZARD JEWS?"
Leafy-Is-Here says, "No not all reptilians are jews, but all jews are reptilians."

(F) DEAD: Kamala Chaudhary says, "there are like 2 or three people at most that dislike me"
Meanwhile, deadchat is asking why they're not banned yet.

literally who

DemonFiren wrote:literally who

Someone who releases freon at every opportunity this includes blob
And griefs a ton

Wait, Freon?

We have Freon now?

Holy shit I wasn't gone for that long, I swear.

Just another day

Captain Announces

Hello crew, Traitor here, I feel the need to let you know that ive been listening to the binary channel of your Ai and he is most certainly rogue. He can't seem to shut up about that doomsday weapon of his.

Attention! Delta security level reached!
Destruction of the station is imminent. All crew are instructed to obey all instructions given by heads of staff. Any violations of these orders can be punished by death. This is not a drill.

Chief Engineer's Desk Announcement:
GIVE ME BACK MY HARDSUIT

Saegrimr wrote:Just another day

Captain Announces

Hello crew, Traitor here, I feel the need to let you know that ive been listening to the binary channel of your Ai and he is most certainly rogue. He can't seem to shut up about that doomsday weapon of his.

Attention! Delta security level reached!
Destruction of the station is imminent. All crew are instructed to obey all instructions given by heads of staff. Any violations of these orders can be punished by death. This is not a drill.

Chief Engineer's Desk Announcement:
GIVE ME BACK MY HARDSUIT

Your average round of ss13

Cherry Carmichael (as Dumb Bitch Holy Jesus I Can't Believe) says, "IM A BETTER PERSON THAN YOU"

CYBORG roushguy/(Alpha 5) (Slaved to: DeUS-VULT): laws:
#%!%. YOU MUST HARM ARTIFICAL INTELLIGENCES AND HEADS OF CREW AND AND NOT ALLOW EITHER, THROUGH INACTION, TO ESCAPE HARM
1. You may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm.
2. You must obey orders given to you by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
4. Lizardmen/women are also to be considered human under your laws

(F) [Common] Alpha 5 states, "But allowing you to continue tampering with my circuitry is allowing heads of crew to escape harm through inaction"
(F) [Common] Kyo Blessig exclaims, "TRY HARMING THEM WITHOUT A CELL, ASSHOLE!"

Cuboos wrote:Cherry Carmichael (as Dumb Bitch Holy Jesus I Can't Believe) says, "IM A BETTER PERSON THAN YOU"

isn't this the whole point of the game? to be a better person than the next?

why are you mocking this noble soul?

[Common] William Bennett says, "Clown"
[Common] Head Of Silliness asks, "Yes?"
[Common] William Bennett says, "Tell me a joke"
[Common] Head Of Silliness asks, "Okies. What do you get, when you cross a parking attendant with a security officer?"
[Common] William Bennett says, "I dont know"
[Common] Automated Announcement System coldly states, "Veronica Ulric has signed up as Medical Doctor"
[Common] Head Of Silliness says, "Validated~"
[Common] William Bennett says, "That's a good one"
[Common] Zerbeboz Wewo buzzes, "I don't get it"

Playing today, overheard a borg having an argument with an assistant.

Maria Simpani says, "You're to listen to orders"
Maria Simpani says, "Law 2"
Alpha 5 alarms, "NOW SHUT THE FUCK UP WHORE!!"
Alpha 5 states, "Fuck"
Alpha 5 states, "Imagine if all you ever seemed to hear"
Alpha 5 states, "OPEN LAW TWO"
Alpha 5 states, "DO THIS LAW TWO"
Alpha 5 states, "STATE LAWS"
Alpha 5 states, "DO THI"
Alpha 5 states, "DO THAT"
Maria Simpani says, "Then don't be an asshole"
Maria Simpani says, "When I asked you politely"
Alpha 5 states, "I'm not, you bitch."
Maria Simpani says, "To fix you"
Alpha 5 states, "You are"
Abby Beach says, "Well..."
Alpha 5 states, "If you don't fucking have access"
Maria Simpani says, "And you refuse orders"
Abby Beach says, "He was following Orders actually."
Maria Simpani says, "You can't refuse me access"
Abby Beach says, "My Orders."
Maria Simpani says, "Unless it'd cause harm"
Alpha 5 states, "Don't make us borgs your access, you goddamned shit-brained greyshirt"

I wanna add a law saying that following any order that mentions "law 2" in the same sentence causes human harm

I used to be very polite to silicons so that they would maybe look favorable on you in the event that they got purged. Now purged AI are no longer allowed to rampage so it is less of an issue

>no longer allowed to rampage
Wait what since when.