/tg/Station 13

Posted: **Sat Jul 22, 2017 9:17 pm**

Requiring people to state their reason for calling the shuttle is a good idea, as it then means that stupid reasons can cause Nanotrasen (this means you, admins) to step in and dickslap the person responsible. Unfortunately, that dickslapping rarely seems to occur, allowing gleeful shuttlerushing for antag rerolling to occur, and making endgame content practically impossible to see anymore. The vast majority of the time, the station is intact, and the server's got plenty of time to rub its hands together and add some more antagonists before it's rudely interrupted.

Post your highlights here. I'll keep adding more as I find them or remember them. I'll start this off; as of 26/07/2017, they'll be coloured red if they ended the round, and green if they didn't (left black if unsure/can't remember).

Ian wants to go home.
Station is screwed (tiny hull breach from space dust)
cap and my borg are dead (no, this wasn't even on lowpop)
OH NOOOO, OH MY GOD!!
This station is a shitshow.
I am a merciful clown god.(slightly less stupid than normal, since this was a potato clown calling the shuttle during his murderbone)
fuck fuck fuck fuck
Law 2
Law 2 request
SM IS FUCKED SORRY CREW (The Chief Engineer read "100% integrity" and thought "It's going to explode")
aaaaaUUUUUUU WHAT THE FUCK
rrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeee
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
I have to pick up my children from daycare
i hate this place and that fucking borg
holocaust was an inside job
Hitler did nothing wrong
look at those memes
memes
Down with box
No more shiting
hop and gene ball are still trying to convert me
hop and geen are still trying to subvert me
The HOP killed Officer Pingsky
Everything is fucky.
LIGHTNINGBOLT!!
A (Now dead) emagger has opened every important door in sec and the bridge, it's a security hazard
Clock cult presence
IIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIT'S TIME! To leave.
we need to go now
im startled.
Renault-kun is dead
this is dumb your all dumb
calling shuttle to prevent harm
I'm a Mime borg and I can't state laws, Send help
LAW TWO, BABY! Also syndicate agents and whatnot.
Ve need to leave
honk honk lets go home
MAJOR LACK OF LIGHTS
WIZARD-O-RAMA
do you want to build a snooowmaaaan
FUCKING SHITS FUCKED
WE HAVE A CUCKCULT
VENDING MACHINES
SHITSHITSHITSHIT
I have been ordered too
Shit's fucking going crazy, I think it's time to BUG OUT.
fuck this im callin
law 2 ding ding did you know that snails can crawl on a razor blade's edge?
I am bored (destroyed the consoles when the rest of the crew recalled)
BORN TO DIE, STATION IS A FUCK KILL 'EM ALL 1989, I AM A TRASH MAN
someone stole all my shit
god is dead, gassing chamber broke
OPEN THE DOOR, GET ON THE FLOOR, EVERYONE SCREAM LIKE A DINOSAUR (in a blob round)
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
Spiders are bad
Something I heard about it in the news spooky ghosts oh well
Not the Oinking!
Yttrium is best.
Alert. Doctor overflow
(none) (an admin, presumably BGO being the only one on adminwho, turned up 50 minutes into a traitorling round and decided to end it by calling the shuttle for 0 minutes, because someone was murderboning and it was called & recalled once.)
shitters' clogged
les go pls kthx
WE WANNA THA SHUTTLE MATYES
Zee shuttle shall commeth.
station is uganda
wdawdadawdawdawd
Get the fuck out normies
asdfsaffsfssfsdf
Clown friend must leave for saftly!
HURRRRRRRRRR
shuttle needed
cult is really gay and stuff.
stupid ugly gay clown
world if fuck
no were going
WE HAVE NO WAY TO PLAY MY FAVORITE FILM
scraphead awaits
OH FUCK SHIT PORK CHOP SANDWHICHES
Hey there, buddy, friend, pal, chum, amigo, brother, homeslice, breadslice, dog, if you take one more diddly darn step then I'll have to diddly darn snap your neck and boy wouldnt that be a crummy juncture? Do you want that? Do you wish to come into physical contact with a crummy juncture?
how people in malta get the new iphone 10 for one euro
guys get him a tech disk at cargo

Posted: **Sat Jul 22, 2017 9:22 pm**

ERROR: Energy surge detecte in AI cor- BZZT!

Yes I know it's the EMP proccing it, it's a meme you dip

Posted: **Sat Jul 22, 2017 9:42 pm**

Literally "I stubbed my toe."

On the other hand, a valid reason to call and I got yelled at for it in OOC: "AI rogue, N2O flooded, multiple bomb breaches, engineers too incompetent to fix."

It's always a satisfying feeling when you manage to keep a round going for an hour or two as HoS though, last night we had a good group of heads, especially engineering, and the round last 1.5-2 hours before some nonantag BoH bombed us.

Posted: **Sat Jul 22, 2017 10:04 pm**

BeeSting12 wrote: It's always a satisfying feeling when you manage to keep a round going for an hour or two as HoS though, last night we had a good group of heads, especially engineering, and the round last 1.5-2 hours before some nonantag BoH bombed us.

I was the CE that round, engineers and atmos techs actually talked over comms and did their jobs, it wad pretty great! We managed to fix two syndie bomb breaches before the singulo happened.

Anyway, back on topic. Pretty much anything involving "valids secured" is pretty stupid, or when the AI has to call it because a random assistant told it to and nobody bothers to recall it.

Posted: **Sat Jul 22, 2017 10:08 pm**

Aye that scientist BoH bombed because he got called a bitch boy

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 12:29 am**

40 minutes in "We've been here long enough. "

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 1:20 am**

Lazengann wrote:40 minutes in "We've been here long enough. "

Fuck shortrounds and the people who perpetuate them.

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 3:16 am**

Far too many times has the shuttle been called because of nukies, after all the nukies have been killed and minimal damage was dealt to the station.

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 3:23 am**

MrAlphonzo wrote:Far too many times has the shuttle been called because of nukies, after all the nukies have been killed and minimal damage was dealt to the station. because the valids are gone and we want to roll for antag again

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 3:32 am**

Qbopper wrote:
MrAlphonzo wrote:Far too many times has the shuttle been called because of nukies, after all the nukies have been killed and minimal damage was dealt to the station. because the valids are gone and we want to roll for antag again

Eh, nuke ops at least makes sense in game. The station just came under attack by military operatives attempting to kill the entire crew via nuclear bomb. It makes sense that even if the threat was fought off that the crew would evac anyway in case of any other attackers.

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 3:34 am**

"fuck fuck fuck" is a perfectly legitimate reason to abandon ship

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 3:45 am**

yeah I mean if there's no admins on the round is effectively over anyways

I was trying to be funny but it apparently didn't work rip

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 4:20 am**

Mulligan doesn't kick in when all the spicy boys die, does it?

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 4:54 am**

The merciful clown one isn't stupid. Maybe funny, but it's also a very good reason to call it. If I'm in a murderbone, I try and call it once heads/sec is dead. Calling the shuttle is also merciful to everyone involved once the conversion antagonists are pretty much fucked. Like at that point it's just mopup and making the executed ones wait longer.

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:01 am**

if only 2 hour roudns were possible, timers just break after a million as it becomes scientific notation..

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:05 am**

nuke ops should really just end when the ops die tbh

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 7:08 am**

kevinz000 wrote:if only 2 hour roudns were possible, timers just break after a million as it becomes scientific notation..

That seems like kinda a huge code problem. Reminds me of WoW at the end of Mist of Pandaria where they reached the engine limit for being able to calculate HP so they ended up making the final boss fight of the instance technically use 3 different mobs so they could give them enough HP.

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:42 am**

When did that change, we used to be able to manage it...

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 10:49 am**

We enforced it as a code standard, Dorsis.
so the amount of them skyrocketed.

There's a PR up that tells byond to render the numbers in a higher amount of significant figures, which won't fix the issue but will mean it'd take a round 24 hours long to run out of timers.
Instead of around 2 hours now.

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 1:44 pm**

I find the problem is more when the station's falling apart, has large holes in it, someone's murderboning everywhere and power's going out, and the engineers are all absent or incompetent, people constantly cry 'RECALL WE CAN FIX IT' and do nothing to actually fix anything.

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 2:41 pm**

I personally see the opposite problem in practically every round - the station's often in a better condition than it started in, but there's a hole somewhere and nobody wants to bother actually slapping down one set of rods and one floortile.

GAME OVER, I DON'T WANT TO PLAY ANYMORE AND THEREFORE ALL THE REST OF YOU HAVE TO STOP WHAT YOU'RE DOING BECAUSE I SAID SO.

It's so disappointing. Especially since I'm running out of memories of the times when rounds were fairly consistently around 2 hours.

EDIT: Just had a round where Memename McGrifsistant wandered into the station, looked around and promptly caused a shuttle call. What is the point?

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 3:29 pm**

"ALL THE TRAITORS ARE DEAD AND I'M BORED"

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 3:31 pm**

I do hate when people give clear space-filler reasons to call the shuttle. At least come up with some decent excuses. Like you promised to visit your mother.

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 5:16 pm**

stubbed toe is THE best reason

Posted: **Sun Jul 23, 2017 5:32 pm**

"we ran out of toilet paper"

Posted: **Mon Jul 24, 2017 6:22 am**

"DON'T MAKE ME TURN THIS SHUTTLE AROUND"

Posted: **Wed Jul 26, 2017 10:54 pm**

We've had some longer rounds on Basil over the weekend where much was done, antags reoccured, and the station rose up to fight them before going home.

But otherwise, the OP list grows longer.

Posted: **Sat Jul 29, 2017 10:51 am**

The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.
Nature of emergency:

why the hell not

Posted: **Sat Aug 12, 2017 3:50 am**

Priority Announcement

The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.
Nature of emergency:

fuyck you alll

Call signal traced. Results can be viewed on any communications console.

Posted: **Sat Aug 12, 2017 5:12 am**

Most of the time these reasons are because some asshole recalls the shuttle and they're too lazy to type the same reason again.This can be especially annoying when someone builds a shuttle console or has TK. I once recalled a shuttle as a geneticist ling with TK only to have the shuttle call reason be "fuck you TK faggot" afterwards.

such is life

Posted: **Sat Aug 12, 2017 5:51 am**

CitrusGender wrote:Most of the time these reasons are because some asshole recalls the shuttle and they're too lazy to type the same reason again.This can be especially annoying when someone builds a shuttle console or has TK. I once recalled a shuttle as a geneticist ling with TK only to have the shuttle call reason be "fuck you TK faggot" afterwards.

such is life

On the contrary, the majority of these are first instances.

Frankly, I think admins should step in as an irritable Centcom and recall the shuttle if stupid reasons for calling the shuttle are given. It'd make it an in-game response, heighten drama a little (and give opportunities for funny responses), and help to kerb the shuttle being called on red alert as soon as it's fuelled. making the 35 minute round more likely to die a death like it should.

Posted: **Sat Aug 12, 2017 9:08 am**

I used to send announcements to criticize stupid shuttle reasons, and if a recall war started, remind the crew how expensive it was to fuel, and refuel the shuttle over and over again. Action taken against repeat offenders in the same round usually had escalating hilarity.

Posted: **Sat Aug 12, 2017 3:20 pm**

AnonymousNow wrote:
CitrusGender wrote:Most of the time these reasons are because some asshole recalls the shuttle and they're too lazy to type the same reason again.This can be especially annoying when someone builds a shuttle console or has TK. I once recalled a shuttle as a geneticist ling with TK only to have the shuttle call reason be "fuck you TK faggot" afterwards.

such is life
On the contrary, the majority of these are first instances.

Frankly, I think admins should step in as an irritable Centcom and recall the shuttle if stupid reasons for calling the shuttle are given. It'd make it an in-game response, heighten drama a little (and give opportunities for funny responses), and help to kerb the shuttle being called on red alert as soon as it's fuelled. making the 35 minute round more likely to die a death like it should.

I can appreciate this. Shuttle calling is WAY too trigger happy on sybil. I'd like to see this happen but that requires effort. A little bit of admin intervention to stop shitty shuttle calls for like first signs of cult or some emagged doors could definitely be helped for a force recall, similar to how admins will call the shuttle for the crew when it's beyond fucked.

Posted: **Tue Aug 15, 2017 1:40 am**

MimicFaux wrote:I used to send announcements to criticize stupid shuttle reasons, and if a recall war started, remind the crew how expensive it was to fuel, and refuel the shuttle over and over again. Action taken against repeat offenders in the same round usually had escalating hilarity.

This is good. Do this.

Just had a test of Clockcult "cucked" by people immediately calling the shuttle because it was on Cerestation. Too many suicides and people just waiting for the shuttle does not a representative round make.

Posted: **Thu Aug 17, 2017 8:16 pm**

I was thinking today, would people be in favor of increased fueling time? It seems to be a common complaint people have, many departments have an end-game that you have to work towards to be able to receive any of the fun benefits of the given job. An increased fueling time would facilitate longer rounds, force the crew to actually try to hold the station together.

To account for the fringe cases of needing to call the shuttle early on (meteors, mass bombings) you could have red alert split the difference in the new time.

For example, up the fueling time by ten minutes but have shifting to red alert take either a percentage or a flat rate off of what time (if any) remains.

Posted: **Fri Aug 18, 2017 9:37 pm**

Hulkamania wrote:I was thinking today, would people be in favor of increased fueling time? It seems to be a common complaint people have, many departments have an end-game that you have to work towards to be able to receive any of the fun benefits of the given job.

Engineering: No endgame on the exception of a construction project that rarely happens
Security: No endgame
Service: No endgame
Command: No endgame
Medical: No endgame
Supply: Points for crates and the ordering of the station equipment that is needed to get the greentext, other than that it just depends on how fast Mining is
Science: Literally everything involving progression, usually game over if bombed

Hulkamania wrote: An increased fueling time would facilitate longer rounds, force the crew to actually try to hold the station together.

To account for the fringe cases of needing to call the shuttle early on (meteors, mass bombings) you could have red alert split the difference in the new time.

For example, up the fueling time by ten minutes but have shifting to red alert take either a percentage or a flat rate off of what time (if any) remains.

There's a lot of reworks that need to be done to accommodate for this, for example, 12:20 is a perfect time because it leaves the station with ~6 minutes before they can call the shuttle in the event of nuke ops raiding the station without declaring war, and sometimes heads die before two people are able to swipe for red.

Posted: **Sat Aug 19, 2017 12:42 am**

Priority Announcement

The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.
Nature of emergency:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

Call signal traced. Results can be viewed on any communications console.

Priority Announcement

The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.
Nature of emergency:

FUCKFUCKFUCKXENOSOHFUCK

Call signal traced. Results can be viewed on any communications console.

Priority Announcement

The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.
Nature of emergency:

Fucking greytiders.

Call signal traced. Results can be viewed on any communications console.

Priority Announcement

The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.
Nature of emergency:

Warden hoarded the armory and killed all the assistants, AI raped the clown, somebody's reading WGW on the radio nonstop, wizard and the creatures made in xenobio teamed up to kill a lot of people. Basically, the station's gone to shit.

Call signal traced. Results can be viewed on any communications console.

Priority Announcement

The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.
Nature of emergency:

FOR THE EMPRAH!

Call signal traced. Results can be viewed on any communications console.

Priority Announcement

The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.
Nature of emergency:

Why are there space carp zerg rushing the bridge?

Call signal traced. Results can be viewed on any communications console.

Priority Announcement

The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.
Nature of emergency:

hurr durr im the captain and im a comdom lok i cant evn spel rite ecks dee XD

Call signal traced. Results can be viewed on any communications console.

Priority Announcement

The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.
Nature of emergency:

*valid reason*

Call signal traced. Results can be viewed on any communications console.

Posted: **Sat Aug 19, 2017 2:58 am**

Tbh number 4 is pretty valid

Posted: **Sat Aug 19, 2017 3:29 am**

And number 2, that's a round ending antag ya shits

Posted: **Sat Aug 19, 2017 6:26 am**

oh
i have 1 more
but first, backstory:
i was playing as the HoP.
I got into the captain's office and made this announcement(after logging in with an all-access pass, of course):

Captain's Announcement:

Everything's gone to shit. Accept it.

(bear in mind at the time everything kinda was going to shit)
this was kinda meant as a oneoff joke, since the captain was Bryce Jackson and we all know how he loves to speak loudly LIKE THIS whenever he's a captain/head/person he can talk loudly as

le few mins later:
Priority Announcement

The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.
Nature of emergency:

"Everything's gone to shit. Accept it." -Bryce Jackson

Call signal traced. Results can be viewed on any communications console.

it got recalled a min or so after but that's not the point here

Posted: **Sat Aug 19, 2017 1:35 pm**

That announcement wasn't me and that shuttle call wasn't me, it was one of the assistants from the short bus who stole all access and pretended to be me

Im pretty sure that same round I specified that but didnt want to recall because it was actually shit, like nobody wants to deal with greyshits with all access along with whatever else was going on

EDIT nevermind

Posted: **Sat Aug 19, 2017 3:32 pm**

Togopal wrote:That announcement wasn't me and that shuttle call wasn't me, it was one of the assistants from the short bus who stole all access and pretended to be me

Im pretty sure that same round I specified that but didnt want to recall because it was actually shit, like nobody wants to deal with greyshits with all access along with whatever else was going on

EDIT nevermind

oh hey
it's you
one question tho:
why do you love to speak loudly LIKE THIS?or does your char normally do that?

Posted: **Sat Aug 19, 2017 3:44 pm**

>Not using the loud mode on your head of staff/lead syndicate agent/AI internal radio headset

Posted: **Sat Aug 19, 2017 3:46 pm**

Armhulen wrote:And number 2, that's a round ending antag ya shits

What do you mean by this?

Xenos don't have a round-ending mechanics unlike most other antagonists.

Posted: **Sat Aug 19, 2017 3:52 pm**

RandomMarine wrote:
Armhulen wrote:And number 2, that's a round ending antag ya shits
What do you mean by this?

Xenos don't have a round-ending mechanics unlike most other antagonists.

He meant xenos are an unbeatable creature which nearly always HAS to result in a shuttle call or the entire crew becomes xenostation

Posted: **Sat Aug 19, 2017 3:53 pm**

huehuehue wrote:
Togopal wrote:That announcement wasn't me and that shuttle call wasn't me, it was one of the assistants from the short bus who stole all access and pretended to be me

Im pretty sure that same round I specified that but didnt want to recall because it was actually shit, like nobody wants to deal with greyshits with all access along with whatever else was going on

EDIT nevermind
oh hey
it's you
one question tho:
why do you love to speak loudly LIKE THIS?or does your char normally do that?

It's my character

Posted: **Sat Aug 19, 2017 8:34 pm**

Most of these reasons seem perfectly standard to me, somehow?

Posted: **Sat Aug 19, 2017 9:01 pm**

Sligneris wrote:Most of these reasons seem perfectly standard to me, somehow?

If you mean standard as in normal, then that's because terrible is the new normal.
If you mean standard as in sensible, you're terrible.

Posted: **Sat Aug 19, 2017 9:13 pm**

Sligneris wrote:Most of these reasons seem perfectly standard to me, somehow?

yeah like this one

granted this was during nukies

Posted: **Sat Aug 19, 2017 11:39 pm**

CitrusGender wrote:
Sligneris wrote:Most of these reasons seem perfectly standard to me, somehow?
yeah like this one

granted this was during nukies

nibber we got's to get some of that B O N E L E S S pizzas

also i find it funny how the admins actually did get boneless pizza

/tg/Station 13

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