HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's inventory

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HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's inventory

Postby huehuehue » Thu Aug 10, 2017 4:25 am #325326

y'know, so he doesn't start a greytide and get his ass jobbanned
yes, i'm speaking from experience
don't h8 me for it
also woo first post
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HoP ALL ACCESS GUIDELINES
By the HoP.
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IF YOU'RE A MEMBER OF SECURITY OR YOU ARE A HEAD OF A DEPARTMENT
You are all good.
Just try not to damage stuff.
(note:security officers don't get "true" all-access, as they can't get into command areas. that goes to the detective. sorry guys.)
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IF YOU'RE NOT SECURITY/NOT A HEAD OF A DEPARTMENT
Do something that says you DESERVE to get all access.
You are simply not trustworthy otherwise.
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IF YOU'RE AN ASSISTANT
No.
Just no.
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IF YOU'RE PLANNING ON GREYTIDING/RIOTING

Fuck you.
I hope your family dies. I hope you have to read Woody's got Wood. I hope you get tortured endlessly by Nar-Sie. I hope the Syndicate takes you as their prisoner and makes you rot for all eternity. I hope you get raped endlessly. I hope you are forced to got to Clown Hell. I hope you have everything you know and love taken from you.
Throw yourself out the airlock and make yourself useful. You're a waste of resources and air.
Fuck.
You.
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IF YOU'RE A XENO RACE
You unfortunately can't just waltz in and be like "HURR DURR I"M DA CAPTAIN NOW HUR DURR", as "liggers" as they are called(or "gasheads") can't be in any heads of any department due to Nanotrasen law. Sorry.
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IF YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE SYNDICATE, BLOOD CULT, CLOCKWORK CULT, ETC. AND ARE WORKING AGAINST THE STATION
Please go away.
You make me uncomfortable.
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IF YOU'RE A XENO, SPIDER, ETC. AND YOU WANT TO MAKE MORE FOR YOUR BUDDIES
Ha Ha! You can't use the terminal! NYAH NYAH NYEH NYAH NYAAAAH!
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IF YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE SYNDICATE, BLOOD CULT, CLOCKWORK CULT, ETC. AND ARE WORKING AGAINST THE STATION AND I'M DEAD
Same deal as above.
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IF YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE SYNDICATE, BLOOD CULT, CLOCKWORK CULT, ETC. AND ARE WORKING AGAINST THE STATION AND I'M DEAD AND YOU HAVE MY ID CARD/MY ID CARD IS STILL IN THE MACHINE
Congrats.
You can make your buddies all access passes for days.
Are you happy with yourself?
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IF YOU'RE EITHER THE CLOWN OR THE MIME AND YOU'RE NOT A TRAITOR
Read the assistants section.
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IF YOU'RE THE CAPTAIN AND YOU'RE LOOKING FOR AN ALL-ACCESS PASS FOR SOME REASON
Bruh.
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IF YOU JUST STUMBLED UPON MY CORPSE AND MY CARD IS STILL IN THE MACHINE
There are 2 things to consider here:
If you are an assistant sabotaging:
Look at the greytiders section of this.
If you're not:
Please don't hand these things out like candy.
if i'm dead, shit's probably hit the fan(or security came over and beat my ass for whatever reason) and spamming all access cards will only heighten the chaos.
You CAN, however, give yourself all access. I'm fine with that.
Hell, you could even take my place.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU'RE IAN
Who's a cute lil doggo YOU IS! YESH YOU ISH!
Oh, does the lil doggo want a all-access pass?
Sit!
Staay`!
GOOD BOY! Here, catch!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU'VE READ THIS TO THE VERY BOTTOM AND READ EVERY WORD
Congrats! You deserve a good promotion of your choice!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU DIDN'T AND YOU JUST SKIMMED
No promotion for you.
Not sorry.
Last edited by huehuehue on Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby Gun Hog » Thu Aug 10, 2017 5:51 am #325346

IF YOU'RE EITHER THE CLOWN OR THE MIME AND YOU'RE NOT A TRAITOR
If you promise not to either annoy the hell out of everyone or build invisible walls everywhere, it's all yours.


I request that you amend this to fit under the "Assistant" section. Honkscum do not deserve all-access any more than average greyscum. I am quite sick of having to abandon my job to deal with the dang clown printing off and stealing expensive stuff, leaving R&D with nothing. It sucks even more because honkscum tend to be robust, veteran players that will easily defeat you in combat. When he wins, he will take MORE stuff as punishment for trying to stop him.

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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby DemonFiren » Thu Aug 10, 2017 9:50 am #325432

>handing out all-access to security
>handing out all-access to fellow headstaff
You disgust me.
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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby Reece » Thu Aug 10, 2017 12:50 pm #325459

Secirity should get standard department access rather than all. Detective should get all.

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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby huehuehue » Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:29 pm #325487

DemonFiren wrote:>handing out all-access to security
>handing out all-access to fellow headstaff
You disgust me.

They are the more...
ahem
"trustworthy" staff of the station.
Gun Hog wrote:I request that you amend this to fit under the "Assistant" section. Honkscum do not deserve all-access any more than average greyscum. I am quite sick of having to abandon my job to deal with the dang clown printing off and stealing expensive stuff, leaving R&D with nothing. It sucks even more because honkscum tend to be robust, veteran players that will easily defeat you in combat. When he wins, he will take MORE stuff as punishment for trying to stop him.

Oh, so no access for them?
k.
Reece wrote:*Security should get standard department access rather than all. Detective should get all.

So, give security all but command access, and give detective all?
Gotcha.
Last edited by huehuehue on Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby Hatfish » Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:35 pm #325489

Here, some more concise guidelines:

Is there a threat to the station that could possibly result in its destruction or the death of its crew(IE: a blob, ops, a strong cult, etc.)?

    Yes: Hand out extended access to trustworthy (heads, security, implanted) crewmen.
    No: Don't hand out all access you idiot.

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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby Cobby » Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:43 pm #325491

Would you do this (give sec all access) if sec could be traitor?
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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby Lazengann » Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:44 pm #325493

So if you kill an officer, you not only get a rad disguise and the nigh unstoppable taser, but you get all access? Not the greatest system you have.

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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby Cobby » Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:46 pm #325494

Wait a minute aren't you that guy Alph jobbanned from hop yesterday >.>
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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby huehuehue » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:10 pm #325500

ExcessiveCobblestone wrote:Would you do this (give sec all access) if sec could be traitor?

Lazengann wrote:So if you kill an officer, you not only get a rad disguise and the nigh unstoppable taser, but you get all access? Not the greatest system you have.

These are kinda meant to be guidelines for newbz(on both sides), hence why it doesn't mention the more complicated stuff.
ExcessiveCobblestone wrote:Wait a minute aren't you that guy Alph jobbanned from hop yesterday >.>

...yes.
First time i was warned:Did it intentionally, trying to be nice.
Second time i was warned and temporarily jobbanned: I was trying to be more restricted and i didn't hand it out to assistants(plus i was doing my job correctly otherwise). They got their hands on it anyway. I was jobbanned. I will serve my sentence. End of story.
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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby Lazengann » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:18 pm #325501

New players shouldn't be playing HoP in the first place

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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby FantasticFwoosh » Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:32 pm #325503

How passive (or not even passive) aggressive can you be when you literally code in a note to spawn in someones job inventory that says

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOUR ACCESS

DON'T BE A MORON


because nobody IC or OOC enforces the actions of HOP's enough to not cause regular drama from mismanagement?


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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby Cobby » Thu Aug 10, 2017 11:42 pm #325659

FantasticFwoosh wrote:How passive (or not even passive) aggressive can you be when you literally code in a note to spawn in someones job inventory that says

FUCK YOU

FUCK YOUR ACCESS

DON'T BE A MORON


because nobody IC or OOC enforces the actions of HOP's enough to not cause regular drama from mismanagement?


what does this mean
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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby FantasticFwoosh » Fri Aug 11, 2017 10:04 am #325733

HOP should not be the central seat of power for all ID card functions, it should require the heads to add on additional job areas (xenobiology & toxins for instance) from their respective departmental consoles. Since those can also demote their local area (scientist being extremely shit, IC eject them from science, demote the card from RD office, throw them out.)

  • There should be a special command-staff console on the bridge for outputting command esque access respectively, with bridge being the only accessible command access initially from HOP computer, also severely nerfs the PDA portable to only having HOP functions.


If you want all access you have to run through different consoles, OR steal a existing all access (and/or dupe that with a agent card) and hence HOP's getting dunked early in the round/id looted is negated in severity and local heads get more power to manage their staff.


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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby Drynwyn » Fri Aug 11, 2017 8:36 pm #325827

>Giving Sec all access because "dey can't be antagz!!!111!!!"

Antag-immune security was a mistake.
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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby Reece » Sat Aug 12, 2017 12:51 pm #325918

huehuehue wrote:
Reece wrote:*Security should get standard department access rather than all. Detective should get all.

So, give security all but command access, and give detective all?
Gotcha.

No.

Generic all access, as in all civillian level access to the kitchen, garden, botany, etc.

Then all basic department access to engineering foyer, science, medical and security. But the individual departments such as virology remain sealed.

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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby FantasticFwoosh » Sat Aug 12, 2017 2:41 pm #325934

Its still not a good idea because of how easy it is to drop a officer.

That and it only encourages meta-gamers & shitcurity in sec to force access to these areas, seize all the dangerous/meta requirement goods for themselves and destroy the privacy of staff who work there. If you want a door-opener ask the AI or a borg.


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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby imblyings » Sat Aug 12, 2017 3:27 pm #325945

>there are officers who play the game without carrying tools and knowing the wires

if you can't even do basic assistantry how can they expect to be a good officer??
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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby FantasticFwoosh » Sat Aug 12, 2017 4:18 pm #325956

imblyings wrote:>there are officers who play the game without carrying tools and knowing the wires

if you can't even do basic assistantry how can they expect to be a good officer??


Not asking a AI or a engineer to do it safely with gloves, greyshirts wearing red breaking into areas etc etc. The CE has a blatent chart of wirecolors they could probably just notekeeper a paper memo of to show to others later like imparting that knowledge on other heads.

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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby NikNakFlak » Sat Aug 12, 2017 9:39 pm #326036

This is not an idea, moving
REDACTED
pm for deets

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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby danno » Sat Aug 12, 2017 10:18 pm #326068

I cannot comprehend the purpose of this thread
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I don't even play ss13 anymore, pretty much due to dannos stupid bullshit

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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby Ricotez » Tue Aug 15, 2017 11:01 am #326815

>doing your job as a HoP
MimicFaux wrote:I remember my first time, full of wonderment and excitement playing this game I had heard so many stories about.
on the arrival shuttle, I saw the iconic toolbox on the ground. I clubbed myself in the head with it trying to figure out the controls.
Setting the tool box, now bloodied, back on the table; I went to heal myself with a medkit. I clubbed myself in the head with that too.
I've come a long ways from asking how to switch hands.

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Saegrimr wrote:One guy was running around popping hand tele portals down in the halls before OPs even showed up and got several stranded out on lavaland.
The HoP just toolboxes someone to death out of nowhere, then gets speared by a chemist who saw him murder a guy, then the chemist gets beaten to death because someone else saw him kill the HoP.
Tele-man somehow dies and gets its looted by an atmos tech who managed to use it to send two nuke ops to lavaland, who were then surrounded by several very angry people from earlier and some extra golems on top of it.
Captain dies, gets cloned/revived, lasers the guy holding the disk into crit to take it back.
Some idiot tries to welderbomb the AI hiding out at mining for no discernible reason.
Two permabans and a dayban, i'm expecting a snarky appeal from one of them soon. What the fuck.

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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby FantasticFwoosh » Tue Aug 15, 2017 11:19 am #326818

Ricotez wrote:job ... HoP


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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby kevinz000 » Tue Aug 15, 2017 2:20 pm #326842

Why do you even pretend you know how the hop should function?
This is why you're banned .

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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby kevinz000 » Tue Aug 15, 2017 2:28 pm #326843

Not a SINGLE FUCKING PERSON OTHER THAN THE CAPTAIN has roundstart all access, and for good reason.
No, heads of staff neither deserve nor require AA roundstart without a very good reason.
No, security neither deserves nor requires AA roundstart without a very good reason.
No, YOU neither deserve nor require all access roundstart without a very good reason and I've seen and brigged hops myself for that if they choose to be an asshole with it.
No, you getting banned for derailing rounds repeatedly doesn't mean you should come and rant about how hop the position you were banned from should be played by others.

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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby Armhulen » Tue Aug 15, 2017 3:26 pm #326853

the only reason i play warden is so i can catch all access hop's armoring up in the armory roundstart and blast them to death with my shotty as they say "WARDEN ROUGE" or "I HAVE ACCESS WAIT"
Go to bed bro, she's not thinking about you.

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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby FantasticFwoosh » Tue Aug 15, 2017 3:31 pm #326854

Roll HOP to just be a all access greyshirt standing in for a captain that might already be present 24/7 before going through the captains personal locker to steal their clothes/objects and raiding the armory/sec for stuff in order to secure the best station side meta-gear. #JustHoPThings



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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby Cobby » Tue Aug 15, 2017 3:49 pm #326860

kevinz000 wrote:Not a SINGLE FUCKING PERSON OTHER THAN THE CAPTAIN has roundstart all access, and for good reason.
No, heads of staff neither deserve nor require AA roundstart without a very good reason.
No, security neither deserves nor requires AA roundstart without a very good reason.
No, YOU neither deserve nor require all access roundstart without a very good reason and I've seen and brigged hops myself for that if they choose to be an asshole with it.
No, you getting banned for derailing rounds repeatedly doesn't mean you should come and rant about how hop the position you were banned from should be played by others.


Rude dude here

Where is his ball of reactive teleporting yarn
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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby danno » Tue Aug 15, 2017 3:57 pm #326862

haha damn kev is pissed?
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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby bandit » Fri Aug 18, 2017 9:46 pm #327632

what if you're lisa/runtime/poly/another pet
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admin feedback pls

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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby huehuehue » Sat Aug 19, 2017 5:22 am #327749

Wow.
Lotsa shiz happened while i buggered off.
Anyways...
bandit wrote:what if you're lisa/runtime/poly/another pet

¯\_(ツ)_/¯
kevinz000 wrote:Not a SINGLE FUCKING PERSON OTHER THAN THE CAPTAIN has roundstart all access, and for good reason.
No, heads of staff neither deserve nor require AA roundstart without a very good reason.
No, security neither deserves nor requires AA roundstart without a very good reason.
No, YOU neither deserve nor require all access roundstart without a very good reason and I've seen and brigged hops myself for that if they choose to be an asshole with it.
No, you getting banned for derailing rounds repeatedly doesn't mean you should come and rant about how hop the position you were banned from should be played by others.

Well, whatever you think. I ain't against you here.
kevinz000 wrote:Why do you even pretend you know how the hop should function?
This is why you're banned .

Apologies, but i'm not trying to pretend. Again, whatever you think.
danno wrote:I cannot comprehend the purpose of this thread

At the moment i'm typing this, neither can i.


I'll just leave this thread open for people(me included now) to laugh at.
Looking over some of the stuff i mentioned, now they seem ridiculous.
...
Ok, well, not ALL of them are ridiculous, but you get what i mean.
Anyways, now i shall bugger off for a long while and maybe come back once in a while to see what happened.
Bye.
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Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Postby Armhulen » Sat Aug 19, 2017 5:34 am #327750

Yeah beat him up!

Wait, I missed it?
Go to bed bro, she's not thinking about you.


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