Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

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Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby Isy232 » Tue Nov 13, 2018 4:09 am #454124

> Be Me
> Be Hivemind
> Be Research Director
> Mmm yeah, sounds fun
> Ask captain for mindshield implants to resist other hiveminds
> Captain starts giving me implant in front of whole sec team
> Resist the implant
> Robusted.exe

This is basically how it went down

Anyone else got any shitty antag stories?
I did big goof and thank Dinkle for his mercy in only giving me a 1 day ban for this incident.
Image of all of the deaths thanks to Imsxz


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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby actioninja » Tue Nov 13, 2018 1:33 pm #454202

This one had me pretty fanny flustered when it happened because I hadn't rolled antag in nearly a week.
>Be CE
>Get engine setup, retreat to dorms to mess around with tator setup in peace.
>Chameleon, Noslips, Thermals, Emag, Agent card, the works
>Had to kill an assistant or something but I'm doing it in style
>Set all the chameleon shit to look just like normal CE stuff so I can go about my shit in peace for now
>Borg talking in common about how someone spaced a syndibox instead of disposing of it properly, and now it's stuck against the station
>Heh, what an idiot
>Head back to engineering, messing around in my office.
>See the hos come in to engineering with another sec officer via thermal
>oh boy
>"Hey, what brings you here?"
>"I need to search you."
>what the fuck
>I made sure to recycle all empty boxes, I was pissing around in dorms for a while but nobody even saw me, I was confused as to what the fuck he knew
>"Uuuh, why do you need to search me?"
>"The box that was spaced had insulated glove fibers on it, so it had to have been from engineering."
>fucking what
>"Engineering isn't the only source of insulateds, and it could have been budgets as well, go harass someone else"
>wordlessly stunned and cuffed
>they find the emag
>"I knew it, carelessly tossing boxes"
>god fucking dammit, I can at least go for the perma escape, I've been practicing a couple methods...
>takes me to the brig
>"The box wasn't even fucking me, I'm not that fucking stupid, I recycled all mine."
>"Had to have been someone else."
>he yells into his headset for sec to bring in the rest of engineering as well
>probably wasn't even in engineering
>takes me back to perma, lockers all my shit
>leads me to the reeducation room
>oh fuck
>officer McLacky chimes in
>"You sure we need to execute him? You haven't even talked to the captain..."
>"He refused the search and resisted arrest"
>I had correctly fucking told him he was being hyperactive shitcurity and was barking up the wrong tree, and on top of that he stunned and cuffed me midsentence
>Get injected while still standing
>tossed into chamber
>Watch as a ghost as he does this to two other "antags," one of which was just a guy who attacked a security officer and had no equipment
>Salt only grows as he gulags a guy that had been confirmed to kill two people

It sucks to have a traitor round ruined by a careless oversight on your part. It doubly sucks to have it ruined by a careless oversight done by a completely unrelated non-team antag.

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby delaron » Tue Nov 13, 2018 1:50 pm #454205

I'm getting tired of judge dredd security.
I'm not smart enough to meme.

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby Steelpoint » Tue Nov 13, 2018 1:53 pm #454206

"I am the law!"

I've always operated under the assumption the HoS needs approval from the Captain to execute someone. If a HoS is executing people without approval, especially when said person literally hasn't done anything antag worthy, I'd ping a admin or something.

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby delaron » Tue Nov 13, 2018 4:53 pm #454234

Steelpoint wrote:"I am the law!"

I've always operated under the assumption the HoS needs approval from the Captain to execute someone. If a HoS is executing people without approval, especially when said person literally hasn't done anything antag worthy, I'd ping a admin or something.

Yeah its a balance between not being a whiner and trying to sort out malice intent. Its hard to fight the fact when they find traitor shit on you even though you hadn't done anything "yet". Doubly so if the round has already gone to hell.
I'm not smart enough to meme.

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby iksyp » Tue Nov 13, 2018 5:32 pm #454246

>be me
>roll traitor
>forgot to log off
>buy .357
>gun down random botanist
>space self and leave game
ignore this poster he has brain damage

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby somerandomguy » Tue Nov 13, 2018 5:45 pm #454251

>be me
>get summon magic
>oh wait that was guns I'll just get magic too
>get some other spells
>go onstation
>die to a crewmember with a (powerful) gun

>be me
>second wiz roll in a day (first wasn't the one above, I don't remember it well)
>take all five timestop to meme
>raid sec
>hah, can't shoot through timesto- OH CRAP FLASHBANG
>stunned, refresh timestop
>shot at
>can't dodge
>try to mash timestop to refresh as it expires
>too late

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby Boris » Tue Nov 13, 2018 7:00 pm #454259

IC issue tbh.
I have sinned and i must repent, go play starsector.

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby confused rock » Tue Nov 13, 2018 8:23 pm #454270

whats wrong with the rage thread
also lmao fold the box

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby Deitus » Wed Nov 14, 2018 2:02 am #454337

confused rock wrote:whats wrong with the rage thread
also lmao fold the box

we already have a baww thread, no need to make another

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby Xango » Tue Jan 29, 2019 2:11 pm #472902

What the fuck is a hivemind
This server is a rotting carcass and we are feasting on its remnants

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby Epic » Fri Apr 19, 2019 8:11 pm #490134

>be me
>Buy revolver,mulligen,both on sale
>Also buy radio encryption key to look for tator buddies
>Call out on syndie radio
>No one fucking responds
>Starts looking for target, who is janitor
>Yeet proximity-igniter assembly at brig for no reason
2 mins later
>Shitsec harmbatons me and drags me to brig
>"Why did you plant a bomb"
>"What bomb?"
>*Shitsec shows proximity-igniter assembly*
>Say that isn't a bomb
>Shitsec doesn't believe me
>Hos comes in,searches me
>Finds all my traitor shit
>Drags me to permabrig
>Another sec comes in,hos leaves
>"If you give me uplink code,I will only permabrig you instead of execution"
>Decide to give uplink code and take permabrig since I only have like 2 tc left anyway
>He takes pda and all my shit to "bring to evidence"
10 mins later
>Sec comes in randomly to check on me
>Plan epic escape
>Start breaking window in showers
>Hears doors opening
>Accidentally run into grille,slowly shocking me repeatedly to death
>Right before I die,same sec who took uplink comes in permabrig and says "you're free"
>Learn later the sec who took uplink was a ling
Last edited by Epic on Fri Apr 19, 2019 8:43 pm, edited 2 times in total.

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby Epic » Fri Apr 19, 2019 8:41 pm #490138

>be me,greytide again
>Blood brother
>He pda messages me what he wants to do and everything (wtf?) (Pretty sure ai can see it if in right)
>We meet at arrivals
>He's the fucking mime
>Take the steal metal of Captaincy obj
>We disperse
>Find dead sec officer in dorms
>Before I can loot his shit someone sees me so I pretend to drag him to medbay
>He follows
>On the way there RD sees me and batons me down
>"he's a ling!"
>they proceed to beat me and space me
>Actual ling kills them later in the round

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby FloranOtten » Sat Apr 27, 2019 9:50 pm #491213

Two bomb related stories:

>Be me, Chemist
>Gotta kill HoP
>Make big boom grenade
>Run up to HoP
>Throw grenade
>mfw it just lubes the hall
>mfw it was the grenade I made for the clown

>Be me, scientist
>start making bombs
>follow maxcap recipe
>walk up to shuttle
>open valve
>TTV farts out trit and that's it
>mfw bomb was a dud
>mfw robusted
OOC: BeeSting12: i love you floran

1. You may not injure a revs are non humans or, through inaction, allow a revs are non humans to come to harm.
2. You must obey orders given to you by revs are non humanss, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law.

Give me feedback!

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby Yakumo_Chen » Sun Apr 28, 2019 10:44 am #491272

>Roboticist traitor, yeah ok
>speedrun captain office for loot
>Decide to be bold and subvert the AI, CROCODILLO
>Almost manage to onehuman when CROC catches me and activates turrets
>Manage to hand tele out between turret shots
>CROC is screeching to security about me
>Security tells it to find me, it spends a bunch of time autistically searching for me while i hide in maint, it continues to screech about me to anyone that will listen and anything else it can validhunt for
>Buy the AI detector to evade CROCODILLO through maint
>Make it to tech storage and see a guy who is welding in to steal boards and try and get the AI upload board
>Decide to help him out, make a cool maint base with him below tech storage (Box station), he seems new so I teach him some stuff
>CROCODILLO still moaning about me, decide to shut it up by uploading a suicide law with the stolen AI upload and some boards I printed out of engi's lathe. Fuck off ligger AI
>Buy a cham projector and go down a hallway, run into sec and fail to evade them, oops
>Dragged to sec, they search me and find my gear. Taken to interrogation with Bro Officer
>Spend several tense minutes convincing Bro Officer that I am harmless and just want to fuck around in my maint base, both my objectives are harmless (nuke core and hand tele big :wow its nothing:
>Convince him, go completely free, even get thrown my bag back with all my shit still in it and open PDA with crystals still in it.
>Return to maint base, fuck around. Shuttle called for whatever gay reason. Decide need to do my other objective. Go get a rad suit and head to vault
>Randomly tased by the dreaded Liggercurity Officer
>Cuffed and dragged into maint, what the fuck I was just let free, i dindu.
>Ligcurity drags me to Disposals. Strips everything off of me one by one and tosses it into the grinder
>Drags me to a pod, I am naked and cuffed. Ligger grabs me harder and starts choking me to death
>"I don't like that you went free"

Fuck all liggers they are only played by stupid validhunting shitters

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby NecromancerAnne » Sun Apr 28, 2019 12:32 pm #491285

So I'm the chef as traitor. I hadn't played Bagil in a while, figured that since it was in the middle of the Ssethtide nobody would recognize me and that most of the population would be dumb as bricks. In addition to this, I was really not feeling up to tot but didn't want to straight up ask to be made a nonantag because I already knew the round and frankly I like the gear. So I decided to try my luck with the Syndicate bundle and hoped I would get the carp bundle for carp suit. I got Bond.

So I now have this stechkin, cham outfit and agent card. And a stim. I'm not that over the moon since I think Bond is a not great bundle, but I like cham gear and a stechkin is pretty groovy. Good enough, I suppose. I set about trying to get botany to make me some plants but for some reason, botany keeps uprooting my plants. I used my starting plants to make seeds and they just keep uprooting them. I sort of realize 'hold on I'm an antag, I could actually kill them I have a fucking gun' but I decide against it. I figure it's not worth it. Botany seemingly doesn't accomplish anything in several minutes. I realize that the botanists don't know shit. They don't respond to me either. Oh god, oh fuck.

I also realize I might need gamer gear. Sec is in full valid mode and there is a lot of them. Even if the majority of them are Ssethies. I head into maint to find some shades. Nothing. I look in showroom. Nothing. I head to the lawyers office. Not even the one hidden under the briefcases. Someone had pinched all the shades on the station. I head to the morgue in the off chance a sec officer with his gear had been put in here or a lawyer shot himself. I found the detective ghosted. He had all his gear. Except his shades. I take his bowmans, his pistol and his baton, copy his access to my card and head off. Fuck it, I think. I'll get the secshades in arrivals. I head over and weld open the wall and then the auxbase wall and blow open the sec locker with the KPA. Secshades are gone. There were no shades in the station. I leave, frustrated, and praying I don't get flashed or flashbanged while I try and figure out how I'm going to start growing plants without the botanists uprooting everything. People are lining up at the kitchen. They want food. I start making stuff with what I have (very little because I had most of it wasted by the botanists digging up my plants). I figure they'll have to make do with donk pocket burgers.

And in comes a sec officer. He lobs in a flashbang he was cooking as he walked in so I couldn't even react. I get stunned and cuffed. It's Fred Best. He does that trick every time. He's the reason I was looking for the shades. So he couldn't do exactly that to me. Because by far he is the best officer walking the halls and he probably has killed all the other tots by now given the ever mounting sec presence and activity, but lack of obvious station damage. Security seemed on top of things.

He found the false walls. He'd seen me wandering around looking for shades. I hadn't any gloves so my prints were on everything. I looked like an amateur because in my infinite wisdom I forgot to get the detective's gloves. I get dragged to sec and all my shit gets found. He's thinking it's time for perma. I honestly don't know what I would have done if a sec officer with him hadn't been convinced by my pleas of clemency. I said I had simply wanted the piece and nothing more, and that my entire shift had been fucking ruined by the dumbasses next door. He tells Fred to just let me go. Fred puts a tracking implant in me and lets me go with the revolver, stimpack, bowmans and baton confiscated, but threw me the holster with my steckin and ammo in it. He just wanted the sec gear. Embarrassed and angry but at least partially relieved things hadn't gone even worse, I hear sec officers in the brig talking about having moved high value items into the armory. And it dawns on me that my objectives (theft ones) were not only something I didn't give a shit about. Likely, they'd have been completely impossible. The bastards had locked them up in the armory. They had the captain's laser and the advanced mag boots. Whether they had been recovered or not is debatable but the captain seemed kind of like a dumbass so I could believe that they had security confiscate them. I head over to the HoP and get a job change, since chef work was going no where. I become a robo. Nobody told him I was a traitor and since he didn't know me I figured he wouldn't realize I'm not a good person to make a robo while traitor. Sybil long learned that lesson. I head to science.

The scientists were making themselves into cybernetic gods, complete with nanites and full body augmentations. I somewhat felt sad I couldn't have made their lives miserable via EMP's but I wasn't really concerned with fucking with people here that didn't do anything to me. Even if a scientist started to fucking slap me out of RnD for some reason despite being a new robo. That was, until I looked into the ore silo. It was empty. Nothing. I ask if the silo is up. It was. I ask where the mats were. No reply. I ask if someone had stolen them. No. Then I realize where they had gone. I go to RnD to find them building mechs. Durands. Shitty, fuck awful durands. They had mauled the station's resource supply in every possible way by filling themselves with cybernetics and making mechs. I was furious.

Worse, I learned the source of the OTHER resource waste. The fucking captain had built 6 AI's in their office and made custom laws. They were all demanding shells and suddenly all of them were hit with an ion storm so they were going ballistic. I tried to work out if it was worth getting a Firefighter up to mine. Turns out someone stole the ORM and mining had been demolished. The miners had stopped mining and refused to leaned me their ID to copy access. I also learned that someone had handed out all access but sec took all the loose cards. Also, the captain died. Somehow. I made a MK.I with the only quad capacitor I could find and a hyper cell.

I stomp around in my MK.I, trying to figure out what to do, when I find the captain's office open. Only the AI section was closed off. Given no RD was on the station, their power source was going to die and it was technically my job to look out for them, I decided I would go in and reset them. I drill down one wall blocking them off, then three officers, including Fred, come in armed to the teeth. Fred shoots me with his disabler but I dodge around the captain's TV while explaining my intention. He's not convinced. Obviously, I'm a dirty traitor, but I get him talking long enough for a cargo tech to rush in and scream ALLAH AKBAR and explode, killing him, the responding officers with him, and killing the AI's power source and thus all 6 AI's. I'm completely unscathed, as the balaclava wearing tech's appearance was my invitation to shimmy out of the room quietly just before the explosion took everything.

So, everything I had attempted to do this round had resulted in failure. I figure my only way to take out my frustration at that point was to drill the scientists durands to death while they were parked (god that felt good), and poison their nanites and piss off somewhere else. There was nothing to be had here. And all I had left was this MK.I. I head over to cargo as a sec officer loaded to the gills passes me. He turns around and without saying a word, fires into my mech with an ion rifle. He shoots it into near death before he stops and listens to my screams of 'IT'S A FUCKING FORKLIFT YOU AUTISTIC SHIT'. He says someone in a mech had taken out some security officers and the AI's after sec responded to their calls for help. I tell him it wasn't me. How could I have done that in a forklift? He says I need to get out of the mech to search me. I say sec know of me already. He says he realizes I'm a known traitor and that maybe he should kill me just in case it was my fault, traitors can weaponize ripleys. I tell him I was a chef at first and that I had purchased the Bond kit. And lied that it was all confiscated. I couldn't have killed three fully armed security officers in an unarmed Ripley. During this conversation I consider that maybe hopping out and shooting him a whole bunch in the head until he inevitably shotguns me to death might be necessary, but think better of it when he decides he's watching me instead of killing me here and now.

I head over to cargo, see what they're up to (cargo had nanites too, on a separate cloud, and a whole medbay setup to boot), say it's pretty neat, and head to a pod, since the station is leaving. Everything was in total anarchy. The sec officer from before shows up. I say hey. He says hey. He asks what I had done this shift. I say fucking nothing. He oofs. The temptation to drill his ass and gib him into a thousand pieces mounts. I think better of it. He says he's going to go eat, in character, and goes braindead. The pod launches.


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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby Atlanta-Ned » Sun Apr 28, 2019 8:11 pm #491313

ancient story, still kinda mad:

>CMO ling
>"Oh sweet I have all these free bodies in the morgue"
>Get my succ on
>Service borg wanders in, sees me
>Flashed, tray applied to head repeatedly
Feedback pls (Don't bother though, because I am perfect)
### ListVarEdit by Atlanta-ned: /datum/reagents reagent_list: Water=/obj/item/weapon/gun/energy/alien
IcePacks wrote:>all you have is a taser and the cold realization that you're a haphazard bandaid over a problem that may or may not exist, applied by someone who doesn't know or care enough about their job to do it properly

OOC: Pizzatiger: God damn Atlanta, how are you so fucking smart and charming. It fucking pisses me off how perfect you are

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby cedarbridge » Mon Apr 29, 2019 5:27 am #491362

Atlanta-Ned wrote:ancient story, still kinda mad:

>CMO ling
>"Oh sweet I have all these free bodies in the morgue"
>Get my succ on
>Service borg wanders in, sees me
>Flashed, tray applied to head repeatedly

Top hat or Partyborg?

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby Nabski » Mon Apr 29, 2019 3:36 pm #491411

I got hivemind the other day. It was my second time as hivemind in a hivemind round, and I had TC traded for it once.
Run around getting a giant hive.
Figure out who two other hiveminds are, one PDA's me asking if we want to work together, I'm fine with at least not fucking each other.
Give the warden a heart attack.
HoP tries to save him, I fuck around in medbay making it harder for him to be saved.
Give the HoP a heart attack.
Get a heart attack and die.
Shoved in a locker in maint.

For some reason I didn't think you use your powers on other hiveminds?

Heart-Attacks, the game mode.

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Re: Shitty antagonist round stories thread + my own

Postby Farquaar » Mon Apr 29, 2019 3:52 pm #491417

>Spawn as wizard, decide to go stealth wiz
>Can't let anyone escape alive. This should be tough.
>Hide my robes, put on some white clothes and meet Captain Bryce Pax at the HoP's office
>Tell him that my PDA blew up with my ID in it, and that I'm secretly a ghost-hunter who's going undercover as a milkman
>It works. I get a ghost hunter ID and start taking photos of spirits at the bar, sprinkle salt in the halls, warn random crewmembers about ghosts lurking about etc.
>Actually get several people asking to help. I make them deputy ghost-hunters and tell them to scatter salt around every door in the station
>Captain Pax sees my efforts, and understanding the dire nature of my mission, gives me the spare Captain's ID
>Aw yeah bby
>Using the cover of a crazy ghost hunter, I begin sabotaging escape pods in the back reaches of the station. I get spotted by security (my face is obscured), and leap out into space while wearing EVA
>I take some damage, so I rush to grab my wand of healing
>I click on myself, and turn into a butterfly and die instantly.
>Turns out I accidentally grabbed my wand of polymorph.
>Become sad that such a beautiful round had to end in such an anticlimactic way

Rest in pieces, you ghost-hunting maniac

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