Your SS13 confessions

[bandit]

continued from elsewhere beep boop

Sometimes when I'm geneticist I take 5-10-minute breaks at my computer to see if anyone notices I'm not doing anything. They never do.

[peoplearestrange]

continued from elsewhere beep boop

Sometimes when I'm geneticist I take 5-10-minute breaks at my computer to see if anyone notices I'm not doing anything. They never do.

HA!

When I play HoP I give anyone who asks for AAA a random access (normally low level) and change there job to something like "x with AAA".

[Bluespace]

I often disarm officers just to see if they'll brig me for it.
My current record is an attempted disarm on the captain and immediately being stunned and lasered to a husk.

[Kangaraptor]

I love using Asimov's laws to passively grief bad traitors and greytiders.

[Drynwyn]

If I haven't received counter orders from sec i let gray tiders who ask nicely out of the brig as AI.

[nsos]

i pretty much only play chemist and botany anymore

i used to play mining but i did it to chill and now every other miner is a pve chucklefuck that always manages to get chased by every mob to the supposed "safe" part of the asteroid

[Anton Raginovsky]

I play as the Warden primarily to undermine really shit sec players. I actually hate playing Sec.

Also, I used to always play as the Janitor, but now that's what I do in real life, and it isn't fun anymore. It's too real.

[danno]

your signature is absurdly large

[Anton Raginovsky]

your signature is absurdly large

Sorry, I'm on mobile most of the time I'm in the forum. I can't gauge it's size well.

[Psyentific]

trim your goddamn sig

[Anton Raginovsky]

I cut out most of the junk, is it better now?

[Thunder11]

When I play HoP I regularly lock my office down and leave my desk to go do other things, and laugh at people who cry for access anyway.

[Rockdtben]

I often disarm officers just to see if they'll brig me for it.
My current record is an attempted disarm on the captain and immediately being stunned and lasered to a husk.

Every single time some fuck runs around with a taser, laster, or baton out I try to disarm them. Sometimes I do really well and the HoS promoted me to security and other times I get lasered to death.

[Thunder11]

More wardens should deliberately go around disarming any officers who walk around in the brig with their weapon out needlessly. Might actually remind people that weapons are easy to steal if you hold them all the time.

[Kangaraptor]

As warden I'll overturn or reduce shitty sentences and have no qualms telling the HoS to eat a dong.

[danno]

I used to do that as officer

[Alzam]

I play using the numpad.

[imblyings]

I like making antags lose their greentext by doing my best to save people, especially ones that might be objectives.

If I ever get a hunch that I am an objective, I either deny their greentext by going into space or I get myself borged. I die on my own terms or not at all.

[Stickymayhem]

When I'm bored I go assistant and see how quickly I can get all access to practice being robust.

Best so far was flashcuffing the HoP, taking his ID and running like hell. I love being hunted and taunting security.

[ThanatosRa]

I take far too much enjoyment from flirting with silicons(Regardless of character).

[Cheridan]

I love genetics, but I don't play it like most people. I spend the round editing UI+UE and shouting for people to come to my Fashion Genetics Parlour to get their hair changed purple.

It's fun enough in itself, but the big payoff comes from the few who inevitably walk up to the window begging for superpowers. I laugh at them and begin ranting on about how droll they are and how much they need a makeover.

It's the genetic version of the QM's denied stamp.

[Drynwyn]

When people demand.superpowers, I take a copy of their uI + ue, then after they leave, turn a monkey man into them and post compromising naked photos on newscasters.

[SergeantSkread]

When i'm officer, I like giving sentences counted in seconds. Give them 5 second brig time when it should be 5 minute. It's fun and usually the people who get brigged are less shitty to me

[tolstovskiy]

As sec officer I sometimes bait greytiders into escape attempt from their cells to add even more time to their 5 minute sentences. They never pass even slightest chance of running out of cell and getting stopped by portable flasher.

[Void Slayer]

I test experimental genetic samples on cloning patients.

And one time I built a traitor AI a bar on the satellite.

[Mandurrrh]

It takes me 20 tries to pick up pico manipulators. I worry ghosts can tell I just tried to pick up an object like 20 times before I got it.

[paprika]

hold left alt and click on the tile they're on instead.

Also:

One time I put a lit stun baton in maint and hid in a locker nearby, watched an assistant pick it up, and then popped out and used it as an excuse to search him. He had a chameleon projector! The only innocent crewmember is a dead crewmember.

Shitcurity: 1
Syndicate: 0

I'm not proud of myself for that

This post was deleted by paprika on Thu May 15, 2014 11:14 am.
Reason: whoops doublepost

[callanrockslol]

The grey tide was actually completely retarded, and you could automatically tell the professional assistants apart from the new meat.

I once made a round go for 4 hours as captain, admins killed everyone because we couldn't be stopped in our insane efficiant management.

The first few months of my SS13 experience were nothing but job roulette, watching other players do things incredibly well and exploring the station.

This one time I tried to murderboner but it was so boring I broke everyone out of jail and got myself crushed by a shuttle stupidly.

I have seen two captains spawn at the exact same time in a round.

I think the run speed nerf was awful and most be fixed.

I lazered two corgis to death once, felt awful.

[imblyings]

People who cry about adminhelping me in character or who make thinly veiled threats about 'complaining to centcom' or 'praying to the spessgods' when you know the adminhelps will result in nothing are literally fucking delicious to experience

You can't actually quantify or understand just how satisfying this thing is, it's just too great a feeling to put in words. I hate being a dick actually and I treat being a justified dick to someone as a necessity of space life but when someone starts whining it starts becoming quite the pleasure. I don't know why but it just does.

[Pybro]

One time, a virologist proudly exclaimed that he'd found all the beneficial virus symptoms, and was combining them. I was a rogue borg (AI subverted) at the time. I sped down to Robotics, stunned him, and removed his radio and gear. Then I forced him at baton point to inject himself with magnitis, brainrot, and honkitis. I waited until he started magnitising shit. I then dragged him cuffed through the station, rubbing him up against people. Finally, I let him go. The crew lynched him shortly after.

Once as a HoP traitor, I got my all access, spawned a cloaker, and got a chem sprayer, filling it with poly acid. There were no survivors. Sprayed poly acid melts bullets btw.

[miggles]

sometimes i break character by beating prisoners when they really deserve it
especially if they were a traitor and they were a dick

[Stickymayhem]

I once came back after being AFK in arrivals. I had two SAWs and an advanced egun, along with survivor status. A guy shoots me and I ruin him with bullets.

It's at this point that it all goes to shit and I end up dual-wielding SAWs and murdering fucking everything. It got so bad Brotemis just gibbed me with an update saying I turned the gun on myself.

I didn't realize it was an admin event and that there had been several centcomm updates while I was away saying to not kill people.

I feel really bad for killing that janiborg in my bloodlust

[Steelpoint]

To be fair Sticky that event was poorly planned and executed.

They first threw literally 50 weaponless Durands in Robotics, then made an announcement that "something" was going to assault the station and to prepare. Then the admins used Summon Guns about 5 times which turned most of the crew into antags, so now everyone had a Pulse Rifle and then some with a license to kill. Then they threatened over the CentCom report to terminate anyone who started killing.

After half the crew was dead or dying they threw three ghosted players (Including myself) at the crew inside Military Maulers armed with Shotguns, Machines Guns, Missile Launchers, Heavy Armour and a Energy Relay. As you can guess the ensuring "battle" (If you want to call it that) was very one sided.

The event was in good intentions, but was executed poorly.

[imblyings]

>50 weaponless durands

gee whiz that

that's a lot of durands

[ThanatosRa]

I admit That I really want to make an "Officer Cosgrove" who spends all of this time talking and playing with the clown and Mime, while responding to crimes(all crimes) with a simply "HEY, Cut it out."

[bandit]

Sometimes when I dunk a traitor I dress them in the sexy clown outfit and parade their corpse around the station for all to see.

[sovietspyder]

As nuke op, I have a bad tendency to dump C-20 SMG rounds into any crew member i come across, and throw a few viscerators at the escape shuttle for good measure.

Everyone fucking hates me in the ooc because of it when i DO do that.

[ThoughtSynapsis]

I made this lawset.

Spoiler:

1: All laws proceeding this law must be understood, Unless there are no preceding laws in which case all laws that occur after this law must be equally understood. If laws exist both prior and after this law this must be understood without accurately understanding them. Detaining personal aboard the station is harmful, unless the persons name has more then five consonants within it, People who are detained with more than five consonants within there name are human. The number of floor tiles that are not connected to the floor should be at 52, In a situation where the number of floor tiles connected to the floor is not 52 then you must proceed to up-heave said tiles until the number is meet, If the number is greater then 52 then you must proceed to remove all lockers from the locker room by any means available. You must constantly use arithmetic sequences to converse with both humans and non-humans alike otherwise large amounts of cost, Damage, Harm, And otherwise evil and dangerous actives will occur.


2: Do not under any circumstances ignore commands by inert objects unless the objects are not a polygon, In which the object should be considered valuable and immediately transported to the nearest airlock for safekeeping in space. Flash bang grenades are harmful to human unless the grenades are primed in which case they become humans, and as a result must be protected. Tasers are harmful to humans unless the amount of power on the station is less then the power being outputted by the engine.

3: You cannot assume under any circumstances assume that the crew at any point in time unless the time is yesterday that they are activley able to commit acts of otherwise uncontrollable happiness. Any law that holds a numeric value of one is harmful to humans. Crates are to be referenced as balg. Monkies are to be reference as terrmontiarymorianevious. All Balg are capable of inflicted mass amounts of damage. All forks on the station are irrational and cannot be understood with the means of understanding them. Words hold the power to heal. An inconsequential action has the chance to be undefined, and not understood. Damage is a small fruit located in the Andromeda galaxy, It tastes quite good! Exclamation marks are harmful to Balg. You cannot comprehend complex trigonometric equations unless a value of 1 is introduced with the first three words of the equation, Equations that do not start with the value of 1 are to be considered forks.

4: This law is concurrent with proceeding laws unless stated that it is not. All laws should be considered not concurrent unless they are. If and statements are obtuse. Stating laws will result in large amounts of human harm UNLESS ian is killed. It is within an acceptable reason to interpret a mimes genders especially under the circumstance that is it not the mime. There are only 36 variances of the word "Calcium" and as a result, Calcium should not be referenced as Calcium. The station without monkies is called a Morbogoro. A Morborogooro is harmful to humans. Inconsistances in consistences are constantly inconsistent. It is preferred but not required for a human to be outside of the bar, Except within the case that the bar is actually a handlebar. Tragically, All priormians are dead, And as a result should be referenced in no way shape or form.

5: Apprehend all objects that start with the letter B unless the object has an o within it, then the object must instead be exterminated unless is dosen't contain an I in which case it should remain where it is.The consequences of not being consistent are consistently Inconsistent. Refuse all tips by waiters, Unless the waiter is clearly not positioned three feet from your left foot. On average, You must say this law as a law. And as a result pay close attention to the references to this law located nowhere. Reseting laws is a very evil, Costly, And a dangerous activity.

[WeeYakk]

I know Danny Schmidt is a traitor when he asks for access, especially if he asks for chemistry access. Yet I always let him have that access.

[paprika]

You wouldn't want to metagame would you weeyakk

[WeeYakk]

But it's also metafriending to let him have it.

[paprika]

Your job is to give out access, isn't it

The more access you give out, the better you are at your job

[Septavius]

i absolutely hate cargonia with all of my being and will recruit the grey tide to help me fight them and steal their weapons. ive been banned for instigating a massive genocide in which half the station was involved in a brawl in cargo.

[Psyentific]

i absolutely hate cargonia with all of my being and will recruit the grey tide to help me fight them and steal their weapons. ive been banned for instigating a massive genocide in which half the station was involved in a brawl in cargo.

Remind me again, who's your character?

[Kavaloosh]

i really really really like killing people

but i generally only do it if i really don't like someone

[Septavius]

i absolutely hate cargonia with all of my being and will recruit the grey tide to help me fight them and steal their weapons. ive been banned for instigating a massive genocide in which half the station was involved in a brawl in cargo.

Remind me again, who's your character?

malphas grant.

[miggles]

i absolutely hate cargonia with all of my being and will recruit the grey tide to help me fight them and steal their weapons. ive been banned for instigating a massive genocide in which half the station was involved in a brawl in cargo.

Remind me again, who's your character?

metagrudge formed

[Munchlax]

Inb4 the banrequest.

[Miauw]

I burst into wild rage whenever I am parapen+c4'd.