/tg/Station 13

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Shitcurity

Pls no bully, I did not ahelp for punishment, just wondering what that was to hear his side of the story.

TheColdTurtle wrote:Pls no bully, I did not ahelp for punishment, just wondering what that was to hear his side of the story.

What were you exact words in the ahelp, assuming you're the CMO.

When everyone complains about me being a shitty HoP when I actually do my job well, not giving every random bloke all access, and decide to break up fights infront of my desk... Not to mention that I'm the only damn person who doesn't have HoP set to low priority on Bagil apparently

Basically, shitty wardens looking for an excuse to execute people instead of using the fucking gulag. Honestly, if there's no heads and the crime was a minor case of assualt then just gulag not fucking at the drop of a hat execute someone.

PlaugeWalker wrote:Basically, shitty wardens looking for an excuse to execute people instead of using the fucking gulag. Honestly, if there's no heads and the crime was a minor case of assualt then just gulag not fucking at the drop of a hat execute someone.

They're REALLY not supposed to be killing people over minor crimes. Adminhelp that shit.

Yeah, Saudi Arabai, not ISIS, take off a hand, gender change and then a beating, fun stuff like that. Not murder.

When people kill instead of convert in a conversion round

TheColdTurtle wrote:When people kill instead of convert in a conversion round

Got me there this is one thing that pisses me off, i mean shit get any straglers that weren't converted yet and convert them to your side.

Botanists stealing the chem dispenser. I can and will shoot you with my most hellish deahtmix if I catch you pulling that shit and display your body on my table as a trophy.

Reece wrote:Botanists stealing the chem dispenser. I can and will shoot you with my most hellish deahtmix if I catch you pulling that shit and display your body on my table as a trophy.

Done it before to you mate.

I know. I was going to Ackbar botany but then you gave it back. Wasted a perfectly good chance to throw your life away.

I'm actually getting to that point where I want to steal them since I rarely find any chemists in the fucking chemistry room.

also "ahelps go t-to adminbus g-guys! i s-swear!"

-When miners don't take a GPS

-When miners don't deliver materials to RnD

-When people expect miners to deliver a shipment of materials roundstart when they just got to the mining station

-When miners deliver and RnD is never done because everyone is too busy sticking their dicks in a plasma canister or in a slime

-When you warn fellow miners that a monster of class Keter that can potentially rape you with just a glance is nearby and to not go near it, only for them to never check their GPS and run into it, dragging it closer to the station so now you have to play splinter cell to survive ash storms and be able to do your deliveries without getting gibbed

Last point sounds fucking hilarious.

DemonFiren wrote:Last point sounds fucking hilarious.

Honestly, I'll agree with rep there. His points are spot on when I play shaft miner, i've had the lase one happen because a newfag decided to randomly robust a bubblegum instantly aggro'ing me near by had to fucking abandoned the idiot to his fate and kite the fucker further away from the outpost had to navigate blindly using the gps. Killed four tendrils got some good loot, made my way back idiot miner vaporized, and no chance of the station getting fucked, miners need to learn to take gps's so that way 1.)We can medivac you if some of us bought the the fulton kit, and 2.) helps us recover your gear so that way your not fucked.

When fools playing sec leave their lockers unlocked and get pissed when some poundsand assistant has stunbatons and flashbangs.
When two players become a pair and one just drags around the other not doing their jobs and jawing all shift.
When MOTHERFUCKERS presume the AI is rogue because it's tied up with 99 other problems at the moment and doesn't have time to open the door to medbay.
People breaking into EVA and Teleporter without asking, I mean come on people. 70% of the time heads don't care if you're going to space.
Clowns and other nonantags that act above the law.
Lane Stewart
People who call for catgirl destruction
Cancerous recallers
The abscence of blob rounds
Wizard rounds.
People who think that just because the admins aren't on that they have a free pass to fuck up the entire round.
Waifu Wars


I could go on forever with things that annoy me in SS13. But I actually have to play it now.

when somebody has their intent set to not-help and keeps bumping into you in a 1 tile wide corridor. then you say "intent" or something and instead of fixing their intent they skip escalation and start relentlessly punching you to death.

Gulagging for crimes less than 5 minutes. I always just break the top window, stick the oxygen canister in the doorway, and throw myself in to lava with all the mining equipment.

TheColdTurtle wrote:When people kill instead of convert in a conversion round

... This shit fills me with the hate of a thousand suns

PKPenguin321 wrote:when somebody has their intent set to not-help and keeps bumping into you in a 1 tile wide corridor. then you say "intent" or something and instead of fixing their intent they skip escalation and start relentlessly punching you to death.

tbh if I bump into someone in a hallway or something and they're not on help I shove them all the way to the end on general principle

Reece wrote:I know. I was going to Ackbar botany but then you gave it back. Wasted a perfectly good chance to throw your life away.

I'm pretty sure this was me, actually.

Not-Dorsidarf wrote:

Reece wrote:I know. I was going to Ackbar botany but then you gave it back. Wasted a perfectly good chance to throw your life away.

I'm pretty sure this was me, actually.

Then you also wasted a perfectly good opportunity to throw your life away.

Varnesy wrote:The abscence of blob rounds.

I got you, fam.

sec arresting you for actually quite literally no reason on the shuttle, then ignoring you and going silent robocop mode for the next two minutes as you ask why you were arrested

People who act terrible as an assistant and then feel like because you're security, you're not allowed to brig/execute them because they technically didn't break space law. Nope, out the airlock you go.

BeeSting12 wrote:People who act terrible as an assistant and then feel like because you're security, you're not allowed to brig/execute them because they technically didn't break space law. Nope, out the airlock you go.

Honestly If they're breaking into secure areas then I kill them, caps office, armoury and engine room contain a lot of real risky shit, if they lack agood explanation why they're in there then they're getting spaced.

Science Pet Peeves :

- When people try to get on the RnD Terminal when you are already on it. Goddamn it, people, don't you see I'm trying to do research here?! Hell, I don't even have the thing researched sometime, give it time! It's the kind of thing that makes me think about just setting up a secondary RnD Terminal...

- When I see new blood showing up in Science, saying "I don't know how to do X". If you want to science, you gotta be willing to learn how to handle at least one section of the lab : RnD is just a bleeding shopping list, Xenobio is just a matter of getting red slimes ASAP for easy mutation (and hope you get upgraded by RnD), and Toxins...Well, okay, Toxins can take a bit for newcomers. Telescience to a lesser extent, it is fairly rare to see this department being setup.

- How Remote Xenobio is on Meta. It's a low maintenance job, so I can work on RnD while the slimes are munching monkeys - but goddamn you have to go through so many doors on Meta between the Lab and the Xenobio section, it's not even funny.

- In case of blob, stop pressuring the bloody scientist for research, they're doing their best : as long as they get mats and shotguns, they'll be fine, they don't need you breathing down their neck.

Reece wrote:

BeeSting12 wrote:People who act terrible as an assistant and then feel like because you're security, you're not allowed to brig/execute them because they technically didn't break space law. Nope, out the airlock you go.

Honestly If they're breaking into secure areas then I kill them, caps office, armoury and engine room contain a lot of real risky shit, if they lack agood explanation why they're in there then they're getting spaced.

I was talking about the people who think its a fun prank to slip officers during a chase, lube hallways, etc

Lube for no reason is a priority shuttle to "getting beaten to death by the angry detective" town

New one on the antag spectrum, antags the act conceided for muh murder rp.

When people lube all the floors. for no reason. When they'e not clown, mime or antag.

PKPenguin321 wrote:when somebody has their intent set to not-help and keeps bumping into you in a 1 tile wide corridor. then you say "intent" or something and instead of fixing their intent they skip escalation and start relentlessly punching you to death.

Maybe people just want to punch you to death

Fiz Bump wrote:

PKPenguin321 wrote:when somebody has their intent set to not-help and keeps bumping into you in a 1 tile wide corridor. then you say "intent" or something and instead of fixing their intent they skip escalation and start relentlessly punching you to death.

Maybe people just want to punch you to death

would make sense if they were a regular but this happens with no-name off the pub shitters

rarely works out for them though. last time this happened i was by coincidence carrying a backpack full of sand. i hurled it into their eyes until they went blind

How shitty the pop on bagil is

PKPenguin321 wrote:

Fiz Bump wrote:

PKPenguin321 wrote:when somebody has their intent set to not-help and keeps bumping into you in a 1 tile wide corridor. then you say "intent" or something and instead of fixing their intent they skip escalation and start relentlessly punching you to death.

Maybe people just want to punch you to death

would make sense if they were a regular but this happens with no-name off the pub shitters

rarely works out for them though. last time this happened i was by coincidence carrying a backpack full of sand. i hurled it into their eyes until they went blind

Wait, we have pocketsand code? What a time we live in.

Fiz Bump wrote:

PKPenguin321 wrote:

Fiz Bump wrote:

PKPenguin321 wrote:when somebody has their intent set to not-help and keeps bumping into you in a 1 tile wide corridor. then you say "intent" or something and instead of fixing their intent they skip escalation and start relentlessly punching you to death.

Maybe people just want to punch you to death

would make sense if they were a regular but this happens with no-name off the pub shitters

rarely works out for them though. last time this happened i was by coincidence carrying a backpack full of sand. i hurled it into their eyes until they went blind

Wait, we have pocketsand code? What a time we live in.

Do we actually have pocketsand

yeah i coded it just get sand (or ash dust or whatever the lavaland equivalent is) and throw it at somebody. it doesnt work if they have glasses or a mask/hat that covers the eyes

People who play HoP as Assistant with all-access hunting for free loot. Then ask you for reasons to get Maint access.

Sligneris wrote:
People who play HoP as Assistant with all-access hunting for free loot. Then ask you for reasons to get Maint access.

• No last name
• HoPcurity
• Tools and insuls
• Captain's headset

Yep, this picture has it all

To be honest, I prefer playing HoP as a fake captain. If there is no captain, I go into their quarters, dress up in their clothes, get myself a loyalty implant, edit the spare ID so my name's on it and paint my PDA gold.

After that I just act like I've always been captain and nobody ever questions me about it, even if they saw me run down the halls as the HoP.

Plus the cap's gloves and exosuits are superior to most of sec's equipment (The gloves have fire and shock immunity for example).

I like arresting HoPs who run into security like they own the place. Nothing feels better than hearing "B-but I have access, I'm allowed here."

Or any other head of staff really, had one CE once who kept trying to hack in to get a laser gun because 'X is a traitor, I need a gun for it' who didn't seem to get that he didn't have the right to hack into the armoury, culminating in me just brigging the bastard after a long argument.
Last words he gave me before I dropped him in a ten minute sentence.
"You bucklecuffed me, a sign of shitcurity"

Its funny that bucklecuffing is one of the things that some people see as wrong without knowing why it was wrong in the first place.

Back on ancient goon code you couldn't resist out of cuffs, so you'd be glued to your bed forever until someone remembered about you.
A completely outdated concept nowadays.

>round start
>be ganghead
>try to be subtle but efficient on converts
>you get the extremely bad luck of the first/second person you want to convert in your department also being a ganghead and your convert duds
>Urist McDumbGanger thinks he's some sort of master schemer and screams, "GANG MCLEADER IS GANG" and thinks he's getting rid of competition
>in reality he just gave security extremely early round-type knowledge, are able to be in less danger from taking out one gang team this early, and if they rub two braincells together, take out the other guy too because 'Hurrr how would you know he's gang you cuck'
>all gangs are now curbstomped by Megaturbohitler Implantcity Security that got on a roll 2 minutes into the round

This is actually why organized crime don't even rat their enemies in real life.

TheWulfe wrote:>round start
>be ganghead
>try to be subtle but efficient on converts
>you get the extremely bad luck of the first/second person you want to convert in your department also being a ganghead and your convert duds
>Urist McDumbGanger thinks he's some sort of master schemer and screams, "GANG MCLEADER IS GANG" and thinks he's getting rid of competition
>in reality he just gave security extremely early round-type knowledge, are able to be in less danger from taking out one gang team this early, and if they rub two braincells together, take out the other guy too because 'Hurrr how would you know he's gang you cuck'
>gang is now curbstomped by Megaturbohitler Implantcity Security that got on a roll 2 minutes into the round

This is actually why organized crime don't even rat their enemies in real life.

This is what happened one time and it was probably the only fun gang round i had.
>spawn next to someone I tided with previous two rounds
>we both pen each other
>we decide to team up and have a gang marriage in the chapel
>one of us doms in perma once most of the station is gang
>victory for both of us

>spawn as gang leader
>see a spray tag 30 seconds into the round

May as well suicide at that point.

BeeSting12 wrote:This is what happened one time and it was probably the only fun gang round i had.
>spawn next to someone I tided with previous two rounds
>we both pen each other
>we decide to team up and have a gang marriage in the chapel
>one of us doms in perma once most of the station is gang
>victory for both of us

That sounds like a great story! How did you avoid your gangsters targeting eachother, though?

When bubblegum spawns right next to the ashwalker base.

when the ash walker base spawns right next to the miner base