Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

General SS13 Chat
Reece
Joined: Tue Dec 08, 2015 7:02 pm
Byond Username: Reece1995

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Reece » #147561

Bottom post of the previous page:

In fairness, that wet floor man. I don't care how many signs you have down, I'm still gonna run, and you're still getting blamed.
Zilenan91
Confined to the shed
Joined: Sun Jul 19, 2015 8:09 pm
Byond Username: Zilenan91

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Zilenan91 » #147562

I mean with like soap or a janicart not with wet tiles. Not even a clown would wet tiles in the brig.
Spoiler:
Zilenan91 wrote:
Just replace both their arms with chainsaws.

HAVE FUN ESCAPING NOW WITH NO ARMS
Reece
Joined: Tue Dec 08, 2015 7:02 pm
Byond Username: Reece1995

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Reece » #147563

Oh...yeah that's kind of shitty.
User avatar
ShadowDimentio
Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 3:15 am
Byond Username: David273

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by ShadowDimentio » #147564

You underestimate my power.

AHAHAHAHAHAHA HONK
Spoiler:
"Clowns are different you can't trust those shifty fucks you never know what they're doing or if they're willing to eat a dayban for some cheap yuks."
-Not-Dorsidarf

"The amount of people is the amount of times the sound is played... on top of itself. And with sybil populations on the shuttle..."
-Remie Richards

"I just spent all fucking day playing fallen london and sunless sea and obsessing over how creepy the fucking dawn machine is and only just clocked now that your avatar is the fucking dawn machine. Nobody vote for this disgusting new sequence blasphemer he wants to kill the gods"
-Stickymayhem

"Drank a cocktail of orange Gatorade and mint mouthwash on accident. Pretty sure I'm going to die, I am on the verge of vomit. It was nice knowing you guys"
-PKPenguin321

"You're too late, you will have to fetch them from the top of my tower, built by zombies, slaves, zombie slaves and garitho's will to live!"
-Armhulen

"This is like being cooked alive in a microwave oven which utilises the autistic end of the light spectrum to cook you."
-DarkFNC

"Penguins are the second race to realise 2D>3D"
-Anonmare

"Paul Blart mall cops if they all had ambitions of joining the Waffen-SS"
-Anonmare

"These logs could kill a dragon much less a man"
-Armhulenn

">7 8 6
WHAT MADNESS IS THIS? POETIC ANARCHY!"
-Wyzack

"We didn't kick one goofball out only to have another one come in like a fucking revolving door"
-Kraseo

"There's a difference between fucking faggots and being a fucking faggot."
-Anonmare

"You guys splitting the 20 bucks cost to hire your ex again?"
-lntigracy

"Wew. Congrats. It's been actual years since anyone tried to make fun of me for being divorced. You caught me, I'm tilted. Here is your trophy."
-Timbrewolf

"I prefer my coffees to run dry too *snorts a line of maxwell house*"
-Super Aggro Crag

"You don't have an evil bone in your body, unless togopal comes for a sleepover"
-Bluespace

">Paying over a $1000 for a lump of silicon and plastic
Lol"
-Anonmare

"Then why did you get that boob job?"
-DrPillzRedux

"You take that back you colonial mongrel"
-Docprofsmith

"I don't care whether or not someone with an IQ 3 standard deviations below my own thinks they enjoy Wizard rounds."
-Malkraz
User avatar
Deitus
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2015 5:26 pm
Byond Username: Deitus

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Deitus » #147566

ShadowDimentio wrote:[the worst kind of powergaming sec]
absolutely disgusting
InsaneHyena wrote: > "I like you. Head to the pods instead." "Uh, okay."
some of you are all right, dont go to the shuttle tomrrow :revolver:
Image
User avatar
ShadowDimentio
Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 3:15 am
Byond Username: David273

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by ShadowDimentio » #147568

Deitus wrote:
ShadowDimentio wrote:[the worst kind of powergaming sec]
absolutely disgusting
O-oh... okay.
Spoiler:
"Clowns are different you can't trust those shifty fucks you never know what they're doing or if they're willing to eat a dayban for some cheap yuks."
-Not-Dorsidarf

"The amount of people is the amount of times the sound is played... on top of itself. And with sybil populations on the shuttle..."
-Remie Richards

"I just spent all fucking day playing fallen london and sunless sea and obsessing over how creepy the fucking dawn machine is and only just clocked now that your avatar is the fucking dawn machine. Nobody vote for this disgusting new sequence blasphemer he wants to kill the gods"
-Stickymayhem

"Drank a cocktail of orange Gatorade and mint mouthwash on accident. Pretty sure I'm going to die, I am on the verge of vomit. It was nice knowing you guys"
-PKPenguin321

"You're too late, you will have to fetch them from the top of my tower, built by zombies, slaves, zombie slaves and garitho's will to live!"
-Armhulen

"This is like being cooked alive in a microwave oven which utilises the autistic end of the light spectrum to cook you."
-DarkFNC

"Penguins are the second race to realise 2D>3D"
-Anonmare

"Paul Blart mall cops if they all had ambitions of joining the Waffen-SS"
-Anonmare

"These logs could kill a dragon much less a man"
-Armhulenn

">7 8 6
WHAT MADNESS IS THIS? POETIC ANARCHY!"
-Wyzack

"We didn't kick one goofball out only to have another one come in like a fucking revolving door"
-Kraseo

"There's a difference between fucking faggots and being a fucking faggot."
-Anonmare

"You guys splitting the 20 bucks cost to hire your ex again?"
-lntigracy

"Wew. Congrats. It's been actual years since anyone tried to make fun of me for being divorced. You caught me, I'm tilted. Here is your trophy."
-Timbrewolf

"I prefer my coffees to run dry too *snorts a line of maxwell house*"
-Super Aggro Crag

"You don't have an evil bone in your body, unless togopal comes for a sleepover"
-Bluespace

">Paying over a $1000 for a lump of silicon and plastic
Lol"
-Anonmare

"Then why did you get that boob job?"
-DrPillzRedux

"You take that back you colonial mongrel"
-Docprofsmith

"I don't care whether or not someone with an IQ 3 standard deviations below my own thinks they enjoy Wizard rounds."
-Malkraz
User avatar
InsaneHyena
Joined: Thu Aug 27, 2015 9:13 pm
Byond Username: InsaneHyena
Github Username: InsaneHyena
Location: Russia

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by InsaneHyena » #147569

Yeah, you are literally shit as sec.
Bring back papercult.

Image
User avatar
ShadowDimentio
Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 3:15 am
Byond Username: David273

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by ShadowDimentio » #147570

:cry: :revolver:
Spoiler:
"Clowns are different you can't trust those shifty fucks you never know what they're doing or if they're willing to eat a dayban for some cheap yuks."
-Not-Dorsidarf

"The amount of people is the amount of times the sound is played... on top of itself. And with sybil populations on the shuttle..."
-Remie Richards

"I just spent all fucking day playing fallen london and sunless sea and obsessing over how creepy the fucking dawn machine is and only just clocked now that your avatar is the fucking dawn machine. Nobody vote for this disgusting new sequence blasphemer he wants to kill the gods"
-Stickymayhem

"Drank a cocktail of orange Gatorade and mint mouthwash on accident. Pretty sure I'm going to die, I am on the verge of vomit. It was nice knowing you guys"
-PKPenguin321

"You're too late, you will have to fetch them from the top of my tower, built by zombies, slaves, zombie slaves and garitho's will to live!"
-Armhulen

"This is like being cooked alive in a microwave oven which utilises the autistic end of the light spectrum to cook you."
-DarkFNC

"Penguins are the second race to realise 2D>3D"
-Anonmare

"Paul Blart mall cops if they all had ambitions of joining the Waffen-SS"
-Anonmare

"These logs could kill a dragon much less a man"
-Armhulenn

">7 8 6
WHAT MADNESS IS THIS? POETIC ANARCHY!"
-Wyzack

"We didn't kick one goofball out only to have another one come in like a fucking revolving door"
-Kraseo

"There's a difference between fucking faggots and being a fucking faggot."
-Anonmare

"You guys splitting the 20 bucks cost to hire your ex again?"
-lntigracy

"Wew. Congrats. It's been actual years since anyone tried to make fun of me for being divorced. You caught me, I'm tilted. Here is your trophy."
-Timbrewolf

"I prefer my coffees to run dry too *snorts a line of maxwell house*"
-Super Aggro Crag

"You don't have an evil bone in your body, unless togopal comes for a sleepover"
-Bluespace

">Paying over a $1000 for a lump of silicon and plastic
Lol"
-Anonmare

"Then why did you get that boob job?"
-DrPillzRedux

"You take that back you colonial mongrel"
-Docprofsmith

"I don't care whether or not someone with an IQ 3 standard deviations below my own thinks they enjoy Wizard rounds."
-Malkraz
User avatar
Deitus
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2015 5:26 pm
Byond Username: Deitus

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Deitus » #147574

ShadowDimentio wrote::cry: :revolver:
alert: opinion incoming
well i mean cmon man, you gotta admit there's a difference between competent security and powergaming security if you're going around random tazing/implanting people and then straight-up killing those who ask to just be perma'd. i know it makes sense from a gameplay perspective and all but at least TRY to roleplay a little bit and make it fun for others. thats not even mentioning the nightmare it must have been for the ai if it was asiimov

/end opinion
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User avatar
ShadowDimentio
Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 3:15 am
Byond Username: David273

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by ShadowDimentio » #147575

Deitus wrote:
ShadowDimentio wrote::cry: :revolver:
alert: opinion incoming
well i mean cmon man, you gotta admit there's a difference between competent security and powergaming security if you're going around random tazing/implanting people and then straight-up killing those who ask to just be perma'd. i know it makes sense from a gameplay perspective and all but at least TRY to roleplay a little bit and make it fun for others. thats not even mentioning the nightmare it must have been for the ai if it was asiimov

/end opinion
Usually what I do fam. Whenever I play warden I chat to people and am usually the only one bothering to try and not brig everyone I can.

The issue in convert antags though is that if sec doesn't play hard they get fucked, HARD. To that end, I wanted to make sure that the two /confirmed leaders/ I had wouldn't get broken out by one of their buddies. Similar story with the executions of the gang members, if you got caught with gang stuff on you, you were executed out of neccecity due to the brig being nuked and me not having enough implants to spend two on every ganger, when I could just kill them for free and implant two people to our side.

Like if it was feasible to fuck around and RP with the gangers and not get shot and beaten to death in microseconds that'd be cool, but it just isn't the case.

tl;dr Gang made me play like a dick, officer!
Spoiler:
"Clowns are different you can't trust those shifty fucks you never know what they're doing or if they're willing to eat a dayban for some cheap yuks."
-Not-Dorsidarf

"The amount of people is the amount of times the sound is played... on top of itself. And with sybil populations on the shuttle..."
-Remie Richards

"I just spent all fucking day playing fallen london and sunless sea and obsessing over how creepy the fucking dawn machine is and only just clocked now that your avatar is the fucking dawn machine. Nobody vote for this disgusting new sequence blasphemer he wants to kill the gods"
-Stickymayhem

"Drank a cocktail of orange Gatorade and mint mouthwash on accident. Pretty sure I'm going to die, I am on the verge of vomit. It was nice knowing you guys"
-PKPenguin321

"You're too late, you will have to fetch them from the top of my tower, built by zombies, slaves, zombie slaves and garitho's will to live!"
-Armhulen

"This is like being cooked alive in a microwave oven which utilises the autistic end of the light spectrum to cook you."
-DarkFNC

"Penguins are the second race to realise 2D>3D"
-Anonmare

"Paul Blart mall cops if they all had ambitions of joining the Waffen-SS"
-Anonmare

"These logs could kill a dragon much less a man"
-Armhulenn

">7 8 6
WHAT MADNESS IS THIS? POETIC ANARCHY!"
-Wyzack

"We didn't kick one goofball out only to have another one come in like a fucking revolving door"
-Kraseo

"There's a difference between fucking faggots and being a fucking faggot."
-Anonmare

"You guys splitting the 20 bucks cost to hire your ex again?"
-lntigracy

"Wew. Congrats. It's been actual years since anyone tried to make fun of me for being divorced. You caught me, I'm tilted. Here is your trophy."
-Timbrewolf

"I prefer my coffees to run dry too *snorts a line of maxwell house*"
-Super Aggro Crag

"You don't have an evil bone in your body, unless togopal comes for a sleepover"
-Bluespace

">Paying over a $1000 for a lump of silicon and plastic
Lol"
-Anonmare

"Then why did you get that boob job?"
-DrPillzRedux

"You take that back you colonial mongrel"
-Docprofsmith

"I don't care whether or not someone with an IQ 3 standard deviations below my own thinks they enjoy Wizard rounds."
-Malkraz
User avatar
capi duffman
Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:28 am
Byond Username: Capi duffman

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by capi duffman » #147592

I know I enjoyed that shift, but that may had to do with being the captain and watching how slowly, but surely, cargo gets filled with loyalists, the gang pretty much does nothing, and at the end, the shuttle is massively booked, full of blue blinking icons.

I even had time to be a massive idiot and execute a deconverted gang for not paying enough attention.
User avatar
DemonFiren
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:15 pm
Byond Username: DemonFiren

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by DemonFiren » #147648

Not really awesome, but at least entertaining.

Image

This is why Revenants get found.
Revenants who were cloaked, and half a room away.
Image
Image
Image
ImageImageImageImageImage

non-lizard things:
Spoiler:
Image
User avatar
ShadowDimentio
Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 3:15 am
Byond Username: David273

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by ShadowDimentio » #147726

Topical: Yesterday I traded for Revenant and cast a xenobiologist into the void.

Seriously thanks to some bug when I zapped he just straight up vanished.

If someone fixes it I should get the antag token for it, due to my awesomeness.
Spoiler:
"Clowns are different you can't trust those shifty fucks you never know what they're doing or if they're willing to eat a dayban for some cheap yuks."
-Not-Dorsidarf

"The amount of people is the amount of times the sound is played... on top of itself. And with sybil populations on the shuttle..."
-Remie Richards

"I just spent all fucking day playing fallen london and sunless sea and obsessing over how creepy the fucking dawn machine is and only just clocked now that your avatar is the fucking dawn machine. Nobody vote for this disgusting new sequence blasphemer he wants to kill the gods"
-Stickymayhem

"Drank a cocktail of orange Gatorade and mint mouthwash on accident. Pretty sure I'm going to die, I am on the verge of vomit. It was nice knowing you guys"
-PKPenguin321

"You're too late, you will have to fetch them from the top of my tower, built by zombies, slaves, zombie slaves and garitho's will to live!"
-Armhulen

"This is like being cooked alive in a microwave oven which utilises the autistic end of the light spectrum to cook you."
-DarkFNC

"Penguins are the second race to realise 2D>3D"
-Anonmare

"Paul Blart mall cops if they all had ambitions of joining the Waffen-SS"
-Anonmare

"These logs could kill a dragon much less a man"
-Armhulenn

">7 8 6
WHAT MADNESS IS THIS? POETIC ANARCHY!"
-Wyzack

"We didn't kick one goofball out only to have another one come in like a fucking revolving door"
-Kraseo

"There's a difference between fucking faggots and being a fucking faggot."
-Anonmare

"You guys splitting the 20 bucks cost to hire your ex again?"
-lntigracy

"Wew. Congrats. It's been actual years since anyone tried to make fun of me for being divorced. You caught me, I'm tilted. Here is your trophy."
-Timbrewolf

"I prefer my coffees to run dry too *snorts a line of maxwell house*"
-Super Aggro Crag

"You don't have an evil bone in your body, unless togopal comes for a sleepover"
-Bluespace

">Paying over a $1000 for a lump of silicon and plastic
Lol"
-Anonmare

"Then why did you get that boob job?"
-DrPillzRedux

"You take that back you colonial mongrel"
-Docprofsmith

"I don't care whether or not someone with an IQ 3 standard deviations below my own thinks they enjoy Wizard rounds."
-Malkraz
Zilenan91
Confined to the shed
Joined: Sun Jul 19, 2015 8:09 pm
Byond Username: Zilenan91

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Zilenan91 » #147729

Hey if anyone gets revenant, can you try stuffing people in disposals for me? I want to see if that's possible while you're revealed.
Spoiler:
Zilenan91 wrote:
Just replace both their arms with chainsaws.

HAVE FUN ESCAPING NOW WITH NO ARMS
User avatar
CrunchyCHEEZIT
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2016 9:44 pm
Byond Username: CrunchyCHEEZIT

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by CrunchyCHEEZIT » #147788

Kind of an awesome story that just happened on Sybil, at least for my normally boring rounds.

>meta station time
>scientist
>go to xenobio, already full
>reluctantly decide to do R&D. normally I suck at it, but some bwoinks later and I found a good guide for it
>follow the guide carefully, deconstructing shit in order
>have to break into robotics to steal some shit every now and then
>roboticist doesn't seem to mind too much, but he doesn't utilize all of the research im giving him to make bomb-ass shit.
>suddenly a man in a monkey suit knocks at my window and gives me an EMP grenade
>neato burrido
>get a jump start at levels, but slightly lacking. haven't upgraded machines yet, still need a few levels for pico-manipulators and super matter bins
>common radio begins to scream about abductor ayyliens
>oh, golly gee i probably wont run int--
>THE MONKEY MAN RETURNS
>monkey man bestows a full array of abductor agent/scientist equipment and tech
>deconstruct, gives me a metric fuckton of research (go from level 2-3 to level 6-7 in most of the important categories)
>neata enchilada
>guide slowly becomes useless as my research is already pretty high level, upgrade machines with fempto manipulators, bluespace matter bins, ect.
>suddenly a blue figure begins to manifest in the room
>gasp
>they've come for me
>the "roboticist" teleports in, think about running but instincts kick in
>GOMU GOMU NO
>BULLET PUNCH
>end up knocking down the abductor agent in one punch
>call me saitama
>abductor agent tele's out of embarrassment/safety, forgets his advanced baton
>deconstruct the baton, get even MORE fucking research
>i cant hold all of this research
>continues upgrading shit, an assistant in a xeno suit joins the research team and helps out the robo
>relatively calm, despite brainrot spreading across the station and medbay falling to panic
>get infected with brainrot after frantically retrieving sulphuric acid for circuit boards (because i fucking constructed the wrong chem machine)
>devour mannitol pills and antitoxin, back to werk.
>aiming for dat bag of holding (despite the xeno assistant telling me its not that good)
>lack gold, mining has been pretty on point but has not gotten any gold for some reason
>xeno assistant disseapears to go find some, but to no avail.
>while he is gone, I notice a "bluespace wormhole device" in the weapons section
>oo-la-la
>prototype it, test it ou-- HOLY FUCK ITS A PORTAL GUN
>drop all of my research duties and begin fucking around with portal gun, breaking the CMO's window and teleporting some other assistant into the RD's office against his will.
>shuttle is called due to some captain bullshit. actual captain supposedly deleted all my research when it was called but i was so happy with my portal gun that i didnt care
>head to escape and fire the gun around willy-nilly, testing it.
>accidentally smack an assistant with a bolt
>it randomly teleports him
>buttmad levels: BYOND buttmad
>assistant tries to murderbone me, keep teleporting him away as he the buttmad grows
>screams over comms for my death, but none listen
>eventually he fucks off for awhile and i think I am safe
>however, just as the shuttle arrives, he dives out of maint and strikes me
>shitty lag becomes shittier, unable to fight correctly
>firing the portal gun around escape, teleporting random people and probably spacing a few too
>the assistant and his autistic rage strikes me down into crit and begins wailing on me
>some other crew help him, but they suddenly turn around and kill him as well when i am already dead
>the crew has avenged me, the messiah of science
>assistant continues to be buttmad in deadchat
>lel

Maby I was abit of an asshole towards the end, but I didn't cause any damaged that warranted admin intervention. I did some good research and had fun.
Cheimon
Joined: Tue May 20, 2014 6:53 pm
Byond Username: Cheimon

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Cheimon » #147789

As the abducting agent, that was an embarrassing moment. Had enough data to buy a new baton and nab the HOP and Captain, though.
User avatar
CrunchyCHEEZIT
Joined: Tue Jan 19, 2016 9:44 pm
Byond Username: CrunchyCHEEZIT

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by CrunchyCHEEZIT » #147790

Well, thats good. I didn't know abductor tech was so good for research though.

Thanks, I guess.

That was such a clutch punch, though. A smarter scientist would have probably tried to run away or yakety sax around the room but its not like getting caught by an abductor is the end of the world.

If anything I would have probably made somebody less mad if I got abducted and just fucked around with the organ instead.
User avatar
Jegub
Joined: Sat May 31, 2014 5:55 pm
Byond Username: Jegub
Github Username: jegub

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Jegub » #147795

InsaneHyena wrote: > Suddenly, kudzu in the conveyor room.
> Reed Glover comes to combat it.
> Suddenly, see my target with him. He's being an annoying cunt.
> Reed Glover, the living saint, loses his patience, grabs him and throws him in the disposal chute.
> Reed Glover just casually murdered my target.
> Go to the disposals to make sure he didn't survive this shit somehow.
> He didn't.
Was he the crewmate with the cardborg helmet? I tend to develop tunnel vision when out to eradicate kudzu so I can't say for sure how this went down, but I swear I didn't lay a finger on anyone in there. In order to reach the kudzu behind the flaps I'd put in a hidden door, maybe I blundered past him in such a manner as to displace him into the chute. He'd have had to have been a lot more disruptive to try my patience, as it was he was restricting himself to standing where I wanted to chop and dragging a fuel tank, presumably under the misconception that I was using a welder. Apologies if that's less funny.
confused rock
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:18 am
Byond Username: The unloved rock

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by confused rock » #147887

CrunchyCHEEZIT wrote:Kind of an awesome story that just happened on Sybil, at least for my normally boring rounds.

>meta station time
>scientist
>go to xenobio, already full
>reluctantly decide to do R&D. normally I suck at it, but some bwoinks later and I found a good guide for it
>follow the guide carefully, deconstructing shit in order
>have to break into robotics to steal some shit every now and then
>roboticist doesn't seem to mind too much, but he doesn't utilize all of the research im giving him to make bomb-ass shit.
>suddenly a man in a monkey suit knocks at my window and gives me an EMP grenade
>neato burrido
>get a jump start at levels, but slightly lacking. haven't upgraded machines yet, still need a few levels for pico-manipulators and super matter bins
>common radio begins to scream about abductor ayyliens
>oh, golly gee i probably wont run int--
>THE MONKEY MAN RETURNS
>monkey man bestows a full array of abductor agent/scientist equipment and tech
>deconstruct, gives me a metric fuckton of research (go from level 2-3 to level 6-7 in most of the important categories)
>neata enchilada
>guide slowly becomes useless as my research is already pretty high level, upgrade machines with fempto manipulators, bluespace matter bins, ect.
>suddenly a blue figure begins to manifest in the room
>gasp
>they've come for me
>the "roboticist" teleports in, think about running but instincts kick in
>GOMU GOMU NO
>BULLET PUNCH
>end up knocking down the abductor agent in one punch
>call me saitama
>abductor agent tele's out of embarrassment/safety, forgets his advanced baton
>deconstruct the baton, get even MORE fucking research
>i cant hold all of this research
>continues upgrading shit, an assistant in a xeno suit joins the research team and helps out the robo
>relatively calm, despite brainrot spreading across the station and medbay falling to panic
>get infected with brainrot after frantically retrieving sulphuric acid for circuit boards (because i fucking constructed the wrong chem machine)
>devour mannitol pills and antitoxin, back to werk.
>aiming for dat bag of holding (despite the xeno assistant telling me its not that good)
>lack gold, mining has been pretty on point but has not gotten any gold for some reason
>xeno assistant disseapears to go find some, but to no avail.
>while he is gone, I notice a "bluespace wormhole device" in the weapons section
>oo-la-la
>prototype it, test it ou-- HOLY FUCK ITS A PORTAL GUN
>drop all of my research duties and begin fucking around with portal gun, breaking the CMO's window and teleporting some other assistant into the RD's office against his will.
>shuttle is called due to some captain bullshit. actual captain supposedly deleted all my research when it was called but i was so happy with my portal gun that i didnt care
>head to escape and fire the gun around willy-nilly, testing it.
>accidentally smack an assistant with a bolt
>it randomly teleports him
>buttmad levels: BYOND buttmad
>assistant tries to murderbone me, keep teleporting him away as he the buttmad grows
>screams over comms for my death, but none listen
>eventually he fucks off for awhile and i think I am safe
>however, just as the shuttle arrives, he dives out of maint and strikes me
>shitty lag becomes shittier, unable to fight correctly
>firing the portal gun around escape, teleporting random people and probably spacing a few too
>the assistant and his autistic rage strikes me down into crit and begins wailing on me
>some other crew help him, but they suddenly turn around and kill him as well when i am already dead
>the crew has avenged me, the messiah of science
>assistant continues to be buttmad in deadchat
>lel

Maby I was abit of an asshole towards the end, but I didn't cause any damaged that warranted admin intervention. I did some good research and had fun.
Metastation has a monkey suit, xeno suit, and emp in the same room in maint. maybe the xeno suit guy was the monkey suit one?
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confused rock
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:18 am
Byond Username: The unloved rock

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by confused rock » #148414

Just happened
>sec officer andrew mitchell on meta
>bon nuit and emmanuel are being shits
>have a giant circlejerk of trying to arrest them both
>suddenly nuke ops when I'm gullaging one
>escape an explosion in the armory, lose my taser but grab an auto rifle
>find myself at botany
>heal using weed
>find myself in maint in between xenobio and the rest of science
>suddenly 2 ops come out
>go to the exit of maint at escape using the speed from weed, take shots from cover as they do the same
>after a bit examine the area
>dead scientist
>use the id to explore science
>dead captain
>steal id
>shuttle gets red alert called
>realize cap has the pinpointer for some reason
>give 2 nearby people, an assistant and roboticist, the best weapons nearby (a spear and my auto rifle) and follow the pinpointer
>end up at the nearby solar
>nuke isnt anchored
>grab it and gtfo the way I came
>weed gives me speed
>using the nuke as a shield as the others distract, I escape and go north
>nuke has the disk in it
>inform the nearby detective
>Hatch a plan to turn on the nukes timer and space it out of a mass driver
>suddenly ops come
>weed runs out
>they are like 5 tiles away
>slip on water next to around 5 people
>nuke ops grab me, other people grab the nuke
>I die, and they take the disk, which I was carrying
>shuttle docks
>they have nuke onboard
>ops come to take nuke
>they die
>crew gets disk
>major victory
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confused rock
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:18 am
Byond Username: The unloved rock

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by confused rock » #148486

>normal assistant on box
>steal like 30 bottles of whiskey from bar
>get drunk as fuck
>suddenly revs
>flashed
>get hans really drunk and convince him to get converted
>go to brig
>see warden laser a random non rev outside brig to death
>giant flamey shitstorm outside bring from ieds hans dropped
>everyone barely lives, thomas laser is in near crit
>try to drag thomas to medbay so he can heal, but Im too drunk, so he drags me
>heal up using 1 brute and 1 burn patch
>head back to brig slightly less drunk
>make molotov using a damp rag on the non rev the warden killed
>run in with thomas and 1 other
>molotov warden
>Everyone catches fire
>shotgunned to crit
>fire about to kill me when it goes out
>healed a little by the patches lingering effect or something
>think "maybe brig will die in the raid and people will save me"
>nothing happens
>heal a little
>heal a little more
>brig is still full of sec
>Realize I may survive
>see the ce nearby
>think hes alone, plan to rest when I Wake up, then quickly get up, pull out a whiskey bottle, and pass the whiskey in his not wearing a hard hat face, knocking him out
>oh shit like 2 others are there
>Rest anyway
>wake up
>thomas and the chaplain or someone are dead
>ce, sec with afro, and warden are alive
>vision is a bit messed up
>wait a bit till I'm not drunk
>think about surrendering
>realize the afro sec is kicking one of the revs corpse
>sec looks at me
>looks harder
>just pulls my body 2 tiles closer to the door
>warden goes outside for some reason
>sprint out that door
>warden shoots a laser on my way out
>explain to Miku when centcomm makes an announcement about weapons teleported to bridge
>break in
>open crate
>its literally just a cleaver and a note that says "gotcha"
>mekhi is a head rev and cucks all of sec in the brig
>see thomas getting cloned
>suddenly round ends, rev win
I really should have taken a screenshot of me playing dead, It was insane.
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Cheimon
Joined: Tue May 20, 2014 6:53 pm
Byond Username: Cheimon

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Cheimon » #148574

> be alien agent
> scientist knows what he's doing
> I know what I'm doing
> we loot armory and medbay
> HOS goes "Rayner, why are you looting the armory?"
> Rayner responds confusedly while I beam out
> we abduct 6 people
> then scientist suggests we go on the shuttle
> we don't abduct a guy to get a proper disguise, no, this should work
> get a sombrero and a puffer jacket and a bandana for the scientist
> I will disguise as the previously abducted librarian, scientist tells me she's dead
> shuttle leaves, oh shit the librarian's here
> we are dressed identically thanks to the magic of the Agent Vest
> I try not to make eye contact and watch her move around
> every step I get more paranoid
> people are also vomiting bees, and I'm worried if I do they'll break my disguise
> scientist was right, the shuttle is well worth the risk
> librarian walks right up to me
> vomits
> collapses
> virologist has saved the day
> get out into centcom undetected
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J_Madison
Rarely plays
Joined: Thu Aug 06, 2015 5:39 pm
Byond Username: Akesson

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by J_Madison » #148606

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>asteroid
>wizard round
>casually leave my workplace throught maint
>kill an atmostech, loot the hardsuit
>mess up atmos completely
>flood plasma
>flood oxygen
>sneak into science
>flood plasma oxygen and n2o into escape halls
>shuttle hits
>throw welder, force two others into space without protection and kill them
>loot one ID, take second ID out of pocket, 3-card the shuttle
>space the remaining bodies
Valiantttt
Joined: Fri Aug 08, 2014 10:17 pm
Byond Username: Valiantttt

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Valiantttt » #148940

> be assistant, Muhammed Al-Is-Nis(shitler and powergame deluxe).
> "alright no blob for me, time to see what goofs i can do"
> decide to burn myself like a Tibetan monk
> prepared the shit
> WITNESS M- SLIP *FLASH*
> YOU ARE NOW A REV YOU FUCKER
> oh boy
> Gather my slip meme kit(Pestspray with water, Cablescuffs)
> decide to also use the stunprod meme
> setup traps but either the targets are with others or it is too obvious
> setup trap near HOP
> mr.hos comes along and SLIP
> aww hell yeah stunprod him and cuff
> drag into maint take off headset
> start bashing him and loot him in the little maint room west of smes
> get his stuff, nice 5 guns including his gun, taser, egun and lasers
> open door ! see captain with a sec officer
> get in a fire fight, get the captain off the bat and the sec officer tasered
> crit the captain with laser
> fuck you ligger officer, chase.
> get disabler shots off but the flashbang downs me with the officer also down
> she gets up just a bit earlier
> she hits me but doesnt stun me with a baton
> whip out the baton from my backpack and cuck her
> put them all in a locker and hide them away
> beepsky and warden almost cuck me but a good rev member saves me
> give out all access and a couple of the guns
> subvert ai to make it friendly for us
> last head is in robotics
> storm in with the secborg and 5 rev members, kill the implanted cuck
> RD gets critted but the protective armor keeps her safe
> finish her off with lasers
> REVS HAVE WON!
> CE apparently fled
> tfw you basically cucked the heads after being revved when you were going to suicide


VIVA LA REVOLUTION ALLAH AKBAR INFIDELS

also apparently the HoS was alive when i was looting him but he bled out. I also had too many guns so i had to leave one behind.
newfren
Joined: Tue May 12, 2015 12:57 pm
Byond Username: Newfren

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by newfren » #149128

>meta
>roll botanist to see about making max-caps as a non-antag
>get traitor
>ok
>get metric shitload of large beakers full of mutagen
>spend 20 minutes farming corn, nettles, death nettles and grinding corn (most time consuming part)
>end up with three max caps before getting bored
>break into medbay, hurl a grenade roughly halfway between cryo and genetics, fucking cheese it
>still caught in the blast, luckily didn't hurt reed the superchemist and he patches me up good as new
>wander up to the middle of the bridge, break that window that's on the northside to the east of the hop line
>throw grenade and fucking bolt
>head on up to security
>doors are open, hurl grenade through and run
>shit I guess I should look at my objectives now?
>kill nina, steal ce's shoes, get out
>tool around blowing people up with a detomax cartridge for a bit, then buy an ebow and pocket the remains of my deathnettles
>kill a few random lizards looking for my target
>pass by robotics, nina is in there and asks to be borged
>uh... sure let's do the surgery while the borg parts print
>take her brain out, pocket it, leave
>head to engineering, no CE there but the captain walks in
>ebow deathnettle gg
>have all access and guns, head to medbay
>random holo user embeds me with a spear while I try to sax through
>laser back as I retreat
>head to bridge
>still a huge hole, CE's corpse is by the comms console
>go try and steal her hardsuit
>die of exposure

Easy proof of concept, botany nades are just as viable timewise as making an arsenal of weaponry in science.

Holoparasite guy went on to murder bone everyone with chaos parasite and a fire extinguisher of all things but that's what you get for playing low pop.
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Drynwyn
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 5:09 pm
Byond Username: Drynwyn

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Drynwyn » #149135

Eh... 20 minutes is *usually* enough, but not always. A good scientist can have maxcaps in 5-10 minutes.
In game, I play the A.I Firmware, the French cyborg C.U.R.I.E, Aubrie Allen, and the lizard scum Skulks-Through-Maintenance.
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Montyblancs
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2015 5:09 pm
Byond Username: Montyblancs

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Montyblancs » #149404

>You are the tator clown, steal the ablative vest, kill some geneticist, and leave.
>lowpop due to server crash, so I try not to get all murdery
>as I'm walking around deciding what to do, a doctor runs up out of nowhere and proclaims 'CLOWN THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT' as he suicides with an oxygen tank.
>Spend about 5 seconds having an emotional breakdown before dragging his very bloody corpse around making a goddamn mess.
>Drop by dorms and order a random kit, EVERY IMPLANT IN THE GAME AWW YEEEEEAH
>strut on over to security and break into the detective's office to steal his clothes and a bowman headset. Lock your lockers, kids!
>waltz into security and get arrested for a minute for making a bloody goddamn mess with the body
>walk out and see an assistant holotaping the entire goddamn hallway with the detective's tool.
>he gets disabled by the captain as the captain starts kicking him on the ground
>not today, cap. Drag the well-meaning assistant out of there towards arrivals.
>He thanks me and flushes himself down disposals as the captain disables me
>kick kick
>ha ha ha, yeah I get it cap you're a cruel boss-
>kick kick
>ACTIVATING RAGE MODE
>Pop EMP and adrenals and whip out my trusty fire extinguisher as all the doors close shut into a makeshift thunderdome.
>Captain panics and doesn't even take out his telebaton as I beat him dead. Strap his corpse to a chair and loot his id, headset, and gun.
>as I'm charging the gun in the nearby security booth, an assistant with an e-dagger out emags the door and starts prodding me.
>how adorable
>introduce him to the floor with the bloody fire extinguisher, henceforth known as 'the red menace.' Loot an emag, cham projector, and voice changer off him.
>Objective time, head on over to security for that ablative vest
>thanks to the magic that is DREAMSTATION I'm able to walk in from maintenance and press a button to walk into armory.
>pick up the vest and a taser as the warden sees me and starts screaming over radio
>rush into maint as I hear him tell everyone that I'm marked as wanted
>yeah, that's nice. delete all security records while chilling out in science for a bit.
>walk out of maintenance near security again and bump into the detective
>TASE N' LASE as the detective drops his gun. Too slow, Dick Tracy.
>calls for help during the lazing bit though, fuck.
>run into maintenance, TASE N' LASE security guard #1
>HoS runs around the corner, TASE N'- oh I'm out of lase. Well, the red menace will do.
>casually stuff the bodies in a nearby maintenance room because I honestly don't care if they stay dead.
>recharge my entire set of new toys in science as I casually chat with the R&D how much shit I'm now in. He barely even cares and continues his research. What a trooper.
>as I head on over to comms I hear the Tesla zapping shit through the walls.
>Nope, let's go to the bridge and call that shit.
>Ai : "Hey can you recall that? I still have things to do."
>oh ho ho, gotcha, my Wisky Lemon Orange Banana buddy.
>head back to bridge and see the HoP, fire off a few taser shots but miss horrifically.
>Most of my guns are empty, let's skedaddle the fuck outta here. Disposal myself as the HoP unsuccessfully tries to disable me.
>Thanks to the magic of DREAMSTATION I fly by every single goddamn nook and cranny of the station in the disposal pipe at least twice before landing in cargo.
>as I fly in, I see the HoP waiting there.
>allright you goddamn rent-a-cop, I've just about had it with your shit.
>TASE N'- fire extinguisher again, goddamnit.
>He screams out my location
>Oh boy, you just fucked up.
>pop his body on the conveyor belt and ride him down to the unforgiving maw of a freshly emagged crusher. Snitches get stitches.
>drop by cargo to recharge as the QM shows up with a WEEWOOWEEWOO helmet and starts disabling me, but can't actually open the door.
>warn him multiple times to not do this.
>he continues doing this.
>get into a long winded battle with him as he disables me with yet another gun and I pop adrenals, force him into a corner, and unload like 8 consecutive laser shots in his face.
>time to claim my loud and obnoxious helmet priz-
>he stands up
>AWSDWASWDASWDWASWDWASDWASWD
>end up getting into a throwing contest with him as we smack each other with the null rod and my handy-dandy fire extinguisher. Finally get the killing blow on him, and I make sure he's dead this time.
>NOW I claim the obnoxious weewoo helmet.
>The AI messages me expressing disappointment in not recalling the shuttle in time. Oh, right. Goddamnit.
>as I trut to escape, the AI deltas, and I see a fresh security officer looking for my ass.
>get into a laser fight, end up knocking down 2 assistants that put their big boy pants on and tried to disarm me, and kill the security guard.
>walk onto the shuttle bridge, EMAG THAT SHIT, IT'S TIME TO GO BITC-the AI is delta what the fuck am I doing.
>ripley and a guard stare me down in bridge before the ripley struts off and the guard pleads for it to come back
>TASE N' LASE while his back is turned. The ripley comes back, drills down the door, and corners me! OH N-
>you're slow as fuck, love. Casually walk around it and head towards AI.
>some assistant is there plowing through doors. He breaks through to the AI, which is not in it's sat for some reason and starts bashing it
>"NO WAIT"
>ok
>the assistant kills it anyway
>so much for that.
>Now, should I leave in a pod, or the shuttle?
>Fuck it, I've been going man-mode this whole round anyway.
>as I walk back onto the shuttle, one of the sec guards I previously killed gets ready to tase me
>Chameleon projector into a cig butt as he fires his taser in the air wildly
>Nice going, m8. Time to break disguise and skedadd-
>Slip on the janitor's water title that I can barely even see
>NO
>out of adrenals, but the officer cuffs me. Thank FUCK, use the freedom implant and run in a different directio-
>Slip
>FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
>use the explosive implant right on the janitor's dumb fucking face and redtext.

Shit ending, but great round.
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imblyings
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 5:42 pm
Byond Username: Ausops
Location: >using suit sensors

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by imblyings » #149406

>log in
>notice shuttle is called
>rename my character to Ami Late for about five minutes of meming as a latejoin captain
>spawn in space
>calls of nuke ops and loose singulos
ok
>clown spawns right next to me
>we both throw an item west
>we both fly into a singulo
>it's actually extended
The patched, dusty, trimmed, feathered mantle of evil +13.
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IcePacks
Joined: Sun Apr 20, 2014 4:46 am
Byond Username: IcePacks

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by IcePacks » #149468

Deitus wrote:
ShadowDimentio wrote::cry: :revolver:
alert: opinion incoming
well i mean cmon man, you gotta admit there's a difference between competent security and powergaming security if you're going around random tazing/implanting people and then straight-up killing those who ask to just be perma'd. i know it makes sense from a gameplay perspective and all but at least TRY to roleplay a little bit and make it fun for others. thats not even mentioning the nightmare it must have been for the ai if it was asiimov

/end opinion
fuck your opinion

fuck you
OOC: Deitus: tfw RL porn doesnt sexually excite me anymore
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PKPenguin321
Site Admin
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2014 7:02 pm
Byond Username: PKPenguin321
Github Username: PKPenguin321
Location: U S A, U S A, U S A

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by PKPenguin321 » #149490

Montyblancs wrote:>walk out and see an assistant holotaping the entire goddamn hallway with the detective's tool.
>he gets disabled by the captain as the captain starts kicking him on the ground
>not today, cap. Drag the well-meaning assistant out of there towards arrivals.
>He thanks me and flushes himself down disposals as the captain disables me
...
>some assistant is there plowing through doors. He breaks through to the AI, which is not in it's sat for some reason and starts bashing it
>"NO WAIT"
>ok
>the assistant kills it anyway
this assistant was me. i also escaped on the shuttle with your chameleon projector and stetchkin. good stuff that round
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well.
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
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Deitus
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2015 5:26 pm
Byond Username: Deitus

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Deitus » #149953

IcePacks wrote: fuck your opinion

fuck you
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TheNightingale
Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2015 5:07 pm
Byond Username: TheNightingale

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by TheNightingale » #150121

You are Clarke, the robo-wizard! (You traded 20TC for magic.)
You have been hired by the Space Wizard Federation and SELF to spread the word of the metal religion; to convert as many to your cause as you can.
To do this, you buy a staff of change, as well as Repulse, Jaunt, Charge, Recall Item and Stop Time. You bind your staff to Recall Item.
When you arrive on the station, the Engineer who sees you immediately shouts "WIZARD!" over comms.
You explain that you're here on a diplomatic mission, not to hurt people, and talk about how you can make people immortal.
As you walk into the HoP's office and say hi, she pulls a gun and starts shooting lasers at you. Her dog dies, but she misses you.
You quickly use Repulse and knock her over, then take her gun and Jaunt out. You chastise her over comms for attacking a diplomat.
The AI announces that it is having its laws changed. You Jaunt into the Upload foyer, and as the Captain comes out, she sees you and draws a pistol.
You Stop Time, then start taking her ID. After a moment, she moves again, so you Repulse, then fire your energy gun on disable mode at her.
Taking her pistol and ID, you Jaunt out, then build an AI upload in maintenance and repair the AI.
Many people wish to join your cause by now. You fire the staff of change at them until they become cyborgs.
Someone has made a singularity using two bags of holding, so you go to Escape.
You hear the CMO needing help in Medical; he put himself in a straitjacket by mistake. You free him, then offer to make him immortal.
He accepts, so you turn him into a Syndicate cyborg.
The Captain arrives as you Jaunt back, and chases you around the windows with a riot shotgun; you Repulse her, then zap her with your staff.
The Captain is now a bat. You take her riot shotgun, walk up to her, say "No.", and fire.
The Captain is now a dead bat.
As the shuttle comes, a few more people consent to being turned into cyborgs, so you do so, Charging your staff when needed.
The shuttle departs, with only one human on board - the rest are cyborgs. The human didn't want to be made superior, so you don't zap him.
You inject the Captain-bat with a lazarus injector, then turn her into a corgi. After considering for a moment, you turn her into a cyborg.
You guide the shuttle back to the Federation-SELF base, and celebrate your successful diplomatic mission.
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Anonmare
Joined: Sun Mar 15, 2015 8:59 pm
Byond Username: Anonmare

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Anonmare » #150136

>tfw you traded 20 tcs for abductors in the same round and singulo/borgs cockblocs you everytime you try and abduct someone

JUST
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EmGee
Joined: Fri Oct 24, 2014 2:18 pm
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by EmGee » #150284

>You are Randy Savage, the Assistant!
>YOU ARE A TRAITOR!
>sweet
>objective is to kill Geist Dangerous and steal some plasma
>hack into engineering five minutes in the round, and get a plasma canister and some gloves
>man, this sucks
>a plan hatches
>i run into maint, whip out my PDA and buy a holopara
>no ghosts
>fuck
>try again, a few times
>nope
>nada
>zilch
>JUST.mp3
>i activate the injector one last time, and then convene with the space deities
>pray "uh hey there are no ghosts around so could I get my TC refunded fam? thanks"
>you hear a voice in your head "lol k"
>but the suddenly the injector activates
>BAMBOOZLE
>i choose support, and decide to head into the away mission
>i gather supplies, while calling on radio for any comrades that want to join me on my trip
>four people turn up, which includes Kekhi Andersen,Robusts-The-Criminals ,some random bartender and unexpectedly Geist
>all according to keikaku.dat
>we suit up, get some armaments, and break on through onto the other side
>it’s the NT station invaded by syndies away mission
>I use my remaining TC to buy another holopara and a and a esword
>Geist takes the para and gets also support
>we roll through the away mission
>robusting
>getting mad loot
>Mekhi, the bartender and the Lizard die in the turmoils of the mission
>suddenly shuttle gets called because “AI ROGUE!”
>fuck
>we race back to the gateway, Geist says he’s checking it out
>comes back nearing crit, our parasites heals him
>apparently the station on the other side of the gateway is a fucking raging inferno
>welp
>geist declares we will survive with blood-red hardsuits and holoparas
>we gear up, and head out
>the station is thoroughly fucked, singuloose
>we get to the shuttle, only a sole engineer is there
>says that borgs are rogue
>suddenly a rogue engiborg comes in, stuns the engineer and drags him away
>well shit
>it’s just me and Geist now
>and he’s my objective
>I declare my intentions, and challenge him to a duel.
>he accepts, the shuttle leaves
>we both summon our stands and I brace for robusting
>SONO CHI NO SADAME
>JOOOOOOOOOOOOOO-
>Geist stuns me with one punch to the mouth and chucks me out of the airlock
>fuck.wad
>redtext

all in all, i enjoyed that round
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Zilenan91
Confined to the shed
Joined: Sun Jul 19, 2015 8:09 pm
Byond Username: Zilenan91

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Zilenan91 » #150349

>be me
>be lawyer
>meme around for a while
>eventually the CMO is arrested for rape charges
>k
>we put the HoS on trial for giving her these charges
>wizard comes into the crowd
>says he hates security
>meteors have been detected on a collision course with the station
>we keep going on with the trial
>eventually wizard jaunts inside and statues the HoS
>we try to trial the statue
>THEN A FUCKING METEOR OUTTA NOWHERE
>FUCKING BLASTS THROUGH THE WALL LIKE THE KOOL-AID-MAN AND BLOWS UP THE CAPTAIN JUDGE
>END TRIAL
>MFW EVEN THE GODDAMN UNIVERSE DOESN'T WANT A TRIAL TO HAPPEN
Spoiler:
Zilenan91 wrote:
Just replace both their arms with chainsaws.

HAVE FUN ESCAPING NOW WITH NO ARMS
confused rock
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:18 am
Byond Username: The unloved rock

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by confused rock » #150444

>orbiting to try to be pai after pais updated so you can slot them int bots
>not a pai but become a snow op
>get a pai after a prayer, choose crazy one named knives over a normal looking personality, slot into medbot
>bot immediately gets stomped to bits by templars
>do good by using shotguns
>all ops die except me and a guy who suicides, end up with the pai, knives, a fuck ton of meds, and a dual esword
>have reached gateway, throw grenades in
>suddenly ERT commander
>commander thinks I'm someone sent to hunt some ice golem who didn't get the memo
>go along with it, look for the ice golem
>ert commander gives me an explosive implant
>give up after a quick search and kill the ert commander
>suddenly comms console spawns, gateway explodes
>console tells me to state name
>say John Johnson because ert id didn't say anything
>console accepts, says "state passcode"
>Knives says "passcode"
>it works
>someone talks and implies I was part of a squad of 3, and I say they all died
>tells me the ice golem is planning an attack and I need to hold out
>Knives gets universal translator to try to talk this out
>Make barricade out of crates
>ice golem and his army of skeletons comes
>negotiation does not work
>main ice golem has like 5k health
>in my last breath, say "ur fat", causing my bomb to explode, killing the entire army except the main golem
>ice golem and army teleport to station
>rest of the ert attacks golems
>station is ravaged, 1 sec ert member manages to stun the golem
>sits there plinking at the golem for 2 minutes with its own sword before it finally dies
>Next round, eff station
>want to try mulebots and pais
>grab pai in dorms
>choose knives again
>learn Beepsky cannot be turned sentient
>shove knives into mulebot
>hack it so it can carry people and so it moves slightly faster
>go on an adventure to get a second pai
>give up after realizing the other mule was already made, this one named H.A.N.Z
>mule asks to be hacked
>try the wires I did for knives and fail, not knowing they are random
>give up for a while
>crazy naked lizard named naked-and-afraid running around screaming
>they end up being the target for like 3 traitors, still survive because they are running so often
>captain tries to steal knives, pops them out of mule
>knock down cap in only 2 punches
>grab knives and run, proceeding to get shot with lasers by the captain
>they suck at aiming so I escape
>try fixing H.A.N.Z again so I can use them as a bodyguard by turning off safeties, this time figuring out that the wires differ for each mule
>works, can do everything knives could, only they can run people over, which only stuns without the damage
>shuttle docks
>captain shotguns me to crit and hides my body in a sleeper on the shuttle
>deathwhisper for knives to tell H.A.N.Z to kill the captain
>running over is non lethal and they do not want to grab the captain and then space themselves, however they manage to chainstun the cap for the entire shuttle ride
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kevinz000
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by kevinz000 » #150501

>CAPTAIN
>Roundstart radio memes of mekhi is a meme"
>blahj blah blah blah blah
>BUNCHA PEOPLE START TIDING
>HOS GULAGS THEM
>HOS GETS KILLED ON GULAG BY THEM
Still kinda salty the nonantags killed hos
>I personally fuck them up
>Goes back to station
>ATTENTION. A JET HARNESS HAS BEEN FOUND IN ARRIVALS SOLARS
>SHUTTLE CALLED
>Dont worry guys I have the disk
>Recalls shuttle and issues combat challenge via announcement to nukeops
>Ahaha I HAVE THE DISK
>Drag backpack to sprite
>Drag internals to sprite
>Breath mask, emergnecy oxygen tank, hand tele.. and ... NO NUKE DISK!!!
>FUCK
>PANIC
>HOP YOU'RE DROPPED OF ALL CHARGES NOW GIVE ME THE PINPOINTER
>PINPOINTER GOES CRAZY
>GOES INTO SPACE
>DELTA HAS BEEN ACTIVATED
>FUCK.JPG
>TRACK DOWN NUKEOPS
>NUKEOPS ARE ABOUT TO EXIT SHUTTLE
>PEW PEW PEW PEW WITH 3 GUNS
>ONE OP RUNS OFF WITH NUKE WHILE REST OF THEM ARE COWERING IN SHUTTLE FROM LASER BOMBARDMENT
>Chases op down
>takes nuke
>Spaces nuke
>Nuke goes off
>Centcom Announcement: Letting me down letting me down letting me down

>HOW DO YOU FUCK UP THAT BADLY?!
>FOUR OPS CANT TAKE DOWN A GUY WITH A TASER :^)
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PKPenguin321
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by PKPenguin321 » #150517

>leaving the station so you can murder some of your own crew
>stealing tasers from sec along the way
>not even recovering the HOS
>losing the nuke disk in the process
>claiming you have the disk when you don't
100000000000% c o m d o m
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well.
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
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DemonFiren
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:15 pm
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by DemonFiren » #150520

That's about 0 per cent latex due to modern condoms, but still...
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non-lizard things:
Spoiler:
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InsaneHyena
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by InsaneHyena » #150594

> Clown
> Do I feel like griffin today?
> No? Time to do science instead.
> No HoP, no captain, no RD.
> Decide to steal captain's spare.
> Consider breaking in the old-fashioned way.
> Oh wait, a borg.
> Recruit him to get me in,
> Grab the card, give myself all access, take the spare with me to stash it in a safe place.
> WILD HOP APPEARS
> Where the fuck did he come from, did he just recently arrive?
> Shoots me with his energy gun
> He's a scrub, gets slipped on a banana peel, I steal his gun.
> Decide to gloat, but he gets up and begins whacking me with a baton.
> BORG, SAVE ME
> Borg actually does.
> Stash captain's ID, run to science.
> A roboticist already tried to do research, but didn't do good. At all.
> I'VE GOT THIS
> Got this.
> HoP uploaded a number of increasingly retarded laws to stop AI from opening doors for clowns and greytiders.
> Reports of cult on the station. Don't care, I'm here for research.
> Roboticist, geneticist, shaft miner and me are all trying to do RnD and/or get upgrades for their machinery, so research is suffering from the problem of WAY TOO MANY COOKS.
> A shaft miner tries to upgrade RnD machinery instead of me, doesn't print upgraded scanner or laser, oh my god
> NAR'SIE IS COMING
> Do I look like I give a fuck
> Beepsky trying to arrest me because of butthurt HoP, but he can't seem to comprehend the concept of an airlock, so he's stuck in front of RnD's windows.
> Singulo has escaped and eaten the AI.
> Time to be a hero!
> Print a couple of bags of holding
> If it's eaten the AI, it should be still around engineering
> Go there.
> I'll probably need a space suit.
> While I'm heading to EVA, spot a medical doctor, who keeps following me around.
> He has a syringe gun.
> TIME TO RUN
> He misses a first couple of shots.
> Continue dodging.
> He misses two more shots.
> Holy fuck, who gave him syringe gun revolver, I know I didn't.
> Run into maint
> That was a phenomenally bad decision on my part
> He managed to land two last shots on me.
> I don't know if it's toxin or chloral hydrate yet, but I don't intend to die without struggle.
> Begin punching him.
> While I'm punching him, look at my bags. I lost my banana peel after slipping HoP, energy gun is useless when cluwne's using it...
> I have an OXYGEN TANK
> Instantly get disarmed
> Uh, okay.
> Continue punching him with my bare fists.
> Knock him into crit.
> Hit him with a crowbar a few times for a good measure to assert dominance.
> Drop on the ground.
> So, it WAS chloral hydrate.
> Wake up after a few minutes.
> Announce my victory over that weakling
> NAR'SIE HAS RISEN
> Change of plans, instead of trying to BoH bomb singulo, I'll do another kind of BoH bombing to Nar'Sie.
> Okay, where are my bags?
> They are floating away.
> Why are they floating away
> OH SHIT
> Singulo eats my bags
> Singulo eats me
> Singulo eats Nar'Sie
> Still satisfied.
Bring back papercult.

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MMMiracles
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by MMMiracles » #150683

>eff. station assistant
>go to locker room, grab pAI and medkit, ignore the suicided kekhi
>actually get a pAI buddy, Knives.
>after someone is done playing dress up with kekhi's corpse, I drag it into the bathroom and give it a few swirlies before the pAI suggests we cut it up to properly dispose of it
>decide to take the most direct path to the kitchen, which involves smashing the body through a window even though theres a door not even 7 tiles away.
>ask bartender to be let into the back to dispose of body
>"ok"
>lets me in the back, start to shove the body into the gibber
>"thanks ag-"
>You are the revolutionary!
>snag kekhi's ID as a backup identity just incase after turning Kekhi into burgers.
>decide to go on a hunt just as my great ancestors once did with the woolly mammoths.
>make 3 spears, it is time to make my ancestors proud
>a wild detective is spotted chatting with a head rev, I proceed to chuck two spears at him while hes destracted
>both hit, no embed
>fuck
>run away, he makes chase with a telebaton because I'm dragging a locker behind me
>circling around holodeck, manage to grab one of the spears and head north to make him tail behind me
>throw spear, it embeds into him right as I run into a literal pack of security officers and captain, all armed with tasers
>fuck x2
>yakkity sax only lasts for a few moments as the entire horde of mammoths security unloads their tasers, only 1 actually hitting out of 5.
>brigged by an officer
>5 minutes, no implant (people were getting implanted at the time)
>wot
>after my time is up, HoS personally removes my wanted status and releases me with my gear and kekhi's ID.
>w o t
>ask pAI if that actually just happened
>yes, it did
>form a new scheme to take down the mammoths of command
>co-develop an idea of putting knives into a hacked mulebot to use as my battle steed to charge into glorious battle
>break into cargo while nobody is there, realize that the maint panels are ID-locked
>apologize about broken window to QM as he walks in, asks politely for a mulebot crate after he refuses to give up one of the existing ones
>he agrees, we wait in cargo for the metallic battle steed
>get it, hack it, spend another few minutes hacking it because I'm dumb and can't remember how to hack a mulebot
>we ride, to bring glory to our ancestors
>try it on CE at first, mulebot knocks her down but I can't actually hit them from on-top of the bot
>fuck x3
>ce runs away, we decide to stalk maint for prey
>central announces that shits gonna go down if people don't start doing things
>we decide to bumrush the HoS, hes actually smart and walks out of the way while (dumbly) trying to disable the mulebot
>get him cornered, knock him down
>get off
>i get knocked down
>fuck x4
>hos eventually manages to haul ass away as the pAI-driven mulebot gives chase
>eventually get out of the airlock area of the brig to find them both in escape
>the mulebot is constantly stun-locking the HoS outside the escape window
>hos has a regen virus so hes literally just very, very slowly dying to burn damage
>this goes on for over 5 minutes, detective eventually comes
>detective tries to save hos, mulebot knocks into him and detective floats off into the abyss of space
>CMO tries to come to escape to help HoS
>stab the woolly mammoth with my sharp stick as two other revs chip in to assist
>entire sec force arrives with speed+regen virus
>throw my spear
>embeds an officer, they fall over
>steal taser, shoot two in a yakkity attempt to at least take one of them down
>eventually fall because they're literally outrunning my spear and tasers
>fuck x5
>implanted by captain
>it has been at least 8 consecutive minutes of the mulebot running over the HoS slowly in escape space, AI makes an announcement about this and hes eventually saved


this is probably one of the funniest things I've witnessed during a rev, due to the mulebots losing their crunchy-crunch from regular safety hacks, it was almost 10 solid minutes of a mulebot running the HoS over, in escape. The few officers that tried to first save the HoS were bumped off into space as the mulebot ran into them while keeping the HoS down.

this round also showed me the potential of mulebot steeds
Spoiler:
Hints:
------
Submitted by: sandstorm

The best way to get a girl/boy friend is to click on them say "hi" then push enter
then say "your cute" then push enter,wait until they say somthing back if they
don't go for another.
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DemonFiren
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:15 pm
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by DemonFiren » #150737

I didn't even know you could load pAIs into them.
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non-lizard things:
Spoiler:
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ShadowDimentio
Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 3:15 am
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by ShadowDimentio » #150966

PAI mulebutts are godlike in melee combat if you don't have a ranged weapon. One bump and you're knocked cold.
Spoiler:
"Clowns are different you can't trust those shifty fucks you never know what they're doing or if they're willing to eat a dayban for some cheap yuks."
-Not-Dorsidarf

"The amount of people is the amount of times the sound is played... on top of itself. And with sybil populations on the shuttle..."
-Remie Richards

"I just spent all fucking day playing fallen london and sunless sea and obsessing over how creepy the fucking dawn machine is and only just clocked now that your avatar is the fucking dawn machine. Nobody vote for this disgusting new sequence blasphemer he wants to kill the gods"
-Stickymayhem

"Drank a cocktail of orange Gatorade and mint mouthwash on accident. Pretty sure I'm going to die, I am on the verge of vomit. It was nice knowing you guys"
-PKPenguin321

"You're too late, you will have to fetch them from the top of my tower, built by zombies, slaves, zombie slaves and garitho's will to live!"
-Armhulen

"This is like being cooked alive in a microwave oven which utilises the autistic end of the light spectrum to cook you."
-DarkFNC

"Penguins are the second race to realise 2D>3D"
-Anonmare

"Paul Blart mall cops if they all had ambitions of joining the Waffen-SS"
-Anonmare

"These logs could kill a dragon much less a man"
-Armhulenn

">7 8 6
WHAT MADNESS IS THIS? POETIC ANARCHY!"
-Wyzack

"We didn't kick one goofball out only to have another one come in like a fucking revolving door"
-Kraseo

"There's a difference between fucking faggots and being a fucking faggot."
-Anonmare

"You guys splitting the 20 bucks cost to hire your ex again?"
-lntigracy

"Wew. Congrats. It's been actual years since anyone tried to make fun of me for being divorced. You caught me, I'm tilted. Here is your trophy."
-Timbrewolf

"I prefer my coffees to run dry too *snorts a line of maxwell house*"
-Super Aggro Crag

"You don't have an evil bone in your body, unless togopal comes for a sleepover"
-Bluespace

">Paying over a $1000 for a lump of silicon and plastic
Lol"
-Anonmare

"Then why did you get that boob job?"
-DrPillzRedux

"You take that back you colonial mongrel"
-Docprofsmith

"I don't care whether or not someone with an IQ 3 standard deviations below my own thinks they enjoy Wizard rounds."
-Malkraz
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Deitus
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Deitus » #150974

ShadowDimentio wrote:PAI mulebutts are godlike in melee combat if you don't have a ranged weapon. One bump and you're knocked cold.
yeah i was just in a round where my entire flu cop team got rekt by one mulebot, defs waiting on a nerf of some sort for that bullshit
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PKPenguin321
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by PKPenguin321 » #150981

imo we should make mules lethal again but not let pAIs in them
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well.
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
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Actionb
Joined: Thu Feb 05, 2015 8:51 am
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Actionb » #151003

> be miner, pick my nose while deciding what to buy at the mining vendor
> suddenly ayy dildo putting me to sleep
> wake up on their ship
> begin uncuffing
> scientist is all 'ayy lmao' and is ignoring me
> he's apparently having troubles getting the agent back?
> finally he brings the agent home
> manage to uncuff
> throw bluespace crystals at them both, spacing them
> I have the ayy ship all to myself
> marvel at the anal probes for a while, before teleporting back
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Venticular
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Venticular » #151023

>be engineer
> "You are the bleb!"
> Panic for a bit because I've never played bleb before
>Quickread wiki
>Sprint off into north chapel maint
> There's another blob, he goes around the arrivals pods maint
> We both burst
> Get confused as fuck with all the buttons
> Haven't done shit, get spotted by assistant
> Get swarmed by welding tool wielding assistants
> The same thing happened to the other bleb
> Well shit.
> deadchat: "That's the shortest bleb round ever, admins plz"
>Would you like to be nuke ops?
> FUCK YES
> Thought it said deathsquad
> Spawn as nuke ops leader
> First time playing nuke ops, and I am leader
> Shit
>Fuck around a bit trying to distribute TC
> While I am quickreading the wiki a guy takes a radio uplink that has all the TC on it
> Spends it ALL on reinforcements and elite suits, and two flamethrowers
> There are now at least 16 nuke ops in the room
> " YOU SHIT WE DON'T HAVE ENOUGH FOR WEAPONS!"
> BWOINK
> You still have time to declare war.If not, we will do it for you.
> "Admin plz i don't know shit"
> There is now a lotof shouting about no weapons or suits
> Admins declare war
> Rush into the shuttle all at once
> Pod as already arrived by then
> We all swarm the station
> " RED IS THE NEW GRAY!!"
> We all greytide the station with no weapons
> I go out and suffocate for some reason into crit
> Get rescued
> This happens two more times, i'm a gibbon
> By now the entire lower and left half of the station has been shredded
> Finally get to eastern corridor
> The shuttle has arrived!
> SHIT
> Run through plasma fires towards the airlock
> Get to the tile next to the final airlock
> "The shuttle will leave in 10 seconds!"
> FUCK
> Go into crit
> Shuttle leaves
> ghost and Explode in frustration
> " Would you like to be NanoTrasen Deathsquad?
> YES PLEASE
> " SET YOUR RIFLES TO DESTROY"
> " KILL THEM ALL"
> etc.
> Shuttle arrives
> Massacre shuttle completely
> "It's okay guys, they were all syndicate cowards in disguise. Right? "
> kek

It was all worth it
My characters are Frank Lowe and Mel Cousins. I also play as CORION OS, the AI and Brainstorm the borg.
"I don't fail at much, but caring is one of them" -some guy

I'm actually back now bitches!
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peoplearestrange
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2014 12:02 pm
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by peoplearestrange » #151025

Ha nice! Seems like I missed a good round
Whatever
Spoiler:
oranges wrote:singulo.io is the center point of rational and calm debate, where much of tg's issues are worked out in a fun and family friendly environment
miggles wrote:it must have been quite the accomplishment, killing a dead butterfly
WeeYakk wrote:If you take a step back from everything watching the community argue janitor related changes is one of the most surreal and hilarious things about this game. Four pages of discussing the merits of there being too much or too little dirt in a video game.
Operative wrote:Vote PAS for headmin! Get cucked and feel good getting cucked.
TheNightingale wrote:I want to get off Mr. Scones's Wild Ride...
NikNakFlak wrote:Excuse you, I was doing intentional bug testing for the well being of the server. I do not make mistakes.
Fragnostic wrote:stop cucking the first shitshow ever that revolved around me.
This is my moment, what are you doing?!
Anonmare wrote:Oranges gestures at the thread, it shudders and begins to move!
Saegrimr wrote:
callanrockslol wrote:all you have to do is ban shitters until the playbase improves/ceases to exist, whichever comes first.
IM TRYING
Screemonster wrote:hellmoo is the mud for grown adults who main reaper in overwatch
Kor wrote:
confused rock wrote:...its like if we made fire extinguishers spawn in emergency boxes and have them heal you when you put out fires rather than them being in wall storages...
Are you having a stroke
bandit wrote:you are now manually GLORFing
MrStonedOne wrote:The best part about the election is when I announce my pick because I'm just as surprised as everybody else.
PM:[USER]->IrishWristWatch0: Yeah, im make it on but how im make the station to to sun and not go to sun

OOC: Francinum: Five Rounds at PAS's
"You are destinied to defeat Dr. Uguu and his 5 Robot Masters
(All-Access-Man, ShootyBlackCoat Man, ChloralHydrate Man, Singulo Man and TeleportArmor Man)"
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confused rock
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:18 am
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by confused rock » #151150

Deitus wrote:
ShadowDimentio wrote:PAI mulebutts are godlike in melee combat if you don't have a ranged weapon. One bump and you're knocked cold.
yeah i was just in a round where my entire flu cop team got rekt by one mulebot, defs waiting on a nerf of some sort for that bullshit
Yea, I had gotten a mulebot yesterday during a round where ops declared war, bot fucked over an op, but not before stunning 10 crew members next to the drop pod.
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sirnat
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by sirnat » #151158

My first shadowling round:

>Spawn as viro after I begin heating up food IRL to eat for dinner.
>Check the screen and what do ya know, shadowling
>Dont feel like playing as sling so I ahelp to see if they can toss it to someone else
>No admins
>Hmm, virologist lets make a robust triple stacked healing virus.
>Takes roughly 20 minutes, and after I make all three bottles I hatch in my side room
>Inject myself with all 3 viruses in the head and test it with the lights
>Barely any damage is being taken because im healing so fast
>Im basically ascended boys
>Begin thralling people left and right, walking through science and find the cap who I glare, tie and then thrall in the testing lab
>She has her spare ID, YES
>We're basically the entire station now almost, AI called shuttle on red alert and its coming
>Im new to Sling so i havnt even done the part where I get new powers
>I get to the point where I can ascend but fuck that, im more robust other than the gibbing at the moment
>Thrall the last person and then finally go on the shuttle
>Slaughter demon kills one of the thralls so he gets gibbed
>Big greentext because of the virus I had and gave it to the other slings we were nearly unstoppable.
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InsaneHyena
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by InsaneHyena » #151247

Same round, another story.

> Be scientist.
> Do RnD, because I'm that austistic.
> Hear reports of slaughter demon eating people
> Decide to shove chem dispenser board to experimentor to see what will happen
> SHADOWLING
> Glared, cuffed, converted.
> Decide to subvert the AI and build a cyborg army.
> Before I leave the experimentor room, slaughter demon appears.
> Try to glare at him.
> You can only glare at humans.
> He kills me.
> Fuck.
Bring back papercult.

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