Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Kuraudo · Post by **Kuraudo** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 11:45 am #23622

Bottom post of the previous page:

> Start as Cargo Tech. We have one QM and several other cargo techs.
> Station is slowly going to shit like always; Admin event: Fighting tourney in dorms. WTF ?
> Autolathe hacked. Cargo Points are starting to go up.
> Fellow Cargo crew order shotguns, one Cargo Tech brings the russian revolver, we manage to open the crate.
> We start discussing about the opportunity of becoming the independant nation of Cargonia.
> I bring a recharger and order a crate of eguns and armor.
> Arm myself like a motherfucker.
> HoP forgot his ID in the console: All access for Cargonia
> At this point we have everything we need
> CARGONIA DECLARES INDEPENDANCE
> We are recruiting more and more people
> Cargonian clown brings HoP locker, Cap locker: I choose the most useful item of them all: Cap's headset.
> Smile at how Sec seems uneasy with this over radio. Some of sec want to attack us, others don't see the point.
> Start propaganda over our own comm console. Brag about how powerful we are, insist we are peaceful and never attack anyone. Brag about big stompy mech. Lie about us having pulse rifles.
> Sec start crapping their pants. They prepare their attack anyways. We prepare ourselves for a welcome.
> Sec first wave of attack. Things get serious when they start using lethal means. We respond: They get wrecked.
> Battle became known as Cargonia vs Brigandia's cowardly agression.
> We become ultra-cocky on comm console: Brag about having zero casuality on the war but can't count the bodies on Sec's side.
> After some time Sec attack again with two big stompy mechs spawned by admins as a reward for the fighting tournament. No mention of the mechs in sec radio before.
> Cargonian start dying during the attack. We fight bravely.
> I fight a mech head on, manage to inflict some damage before being cut by bullets
> Big smile on my face as everything turns to white: Lived as a Cargonian, died as a Cargonian.
> CARGONIA !

zionn · Post by **zionn** » Sun Aug 10, 2014 2:04 pm #23632

Kuraudo wrote: > Station is slowly going to shit like always; Admin event: Fighting tourney in dorms. WTF ?

I was in that round, I got engineer and decided to build a rage cage in bar. Little later somebody named death appeared. If you would win the fight, you could whish for anything. If you died, you became death's minion (A shade). I won against a golem and wished for an energy cutlass, sadly I had to leave the game soon after.

MedicInDisquise · Sun Aug 10, 2014 4:53 pm

I wished for immortality, and ran into Cargonia. Nothing could kill me, not even the mining shuttle. I came as the mech was rekting your shit, and even killed a couple of people.

I died at the end via adminbus singulo getting loose

Killerz104 · Post by **Killerz104** » Sat Aug 23, 2014 12:08 am #25189

holy shit i cant feel my face

After coming off of just an awful round I managed to get Lawyer. Considering that lawyer is boring as shit, I just went to the HoP line and killed myself. The dude next to me also killed himself. The HoP wouldn't let Ian be walked by a scientist so he killed himself. A person saw the chaos and he killed himself. Someone was wanted by security so he killed himself.

Then we convinced Hornygranny to make us "Suicide Ops" with the only clothes on our back being a gamer t-shirt and a fedora. 5 of us ran into the HoP line, and killed ourselves. After that madness, someone else killed themselves. Then HG made Ian kill himself. And then someone broke into the HoP line and destroyed the computer.

It just isn't a good day for the HoP.

All 11 bodies were moved to the armory, and HG made them blob zombies that killed like two people.

peoplearestrange · Sat Aug 23, 2014 12:44 am

Killerz104 wrote:holy shit i cant feel my face

After coming off of just an awful round I managed to get Lawyer. Considering that lawyer is boring as shit, I just went to the HoP line and killed myself. The dude next to me also killed himself. The HoP wouldn't let Ian be walked by a scientist so he killed himself. A person saw the chaos and he killed himself. Someone was wanted by security so he killed himself.

Then we convinced Hornygranny to make us "Suicide Ops" with the only clothes on our back being a gamer t-shirt and a fedora. 5 of us ran into the HoP line, and killed ourselves. After that madness, someone else killed themselves. Then HG made Ian kill himself. And then someone broke into the HoP line and destroyed the computer.

It just isn't a good day for the HoP.

All 11 bodies were moved to the armory, and HG made them blob zombies that killed like two people.

That's actually hilarious!
YFW you accidentally start a suicide spree.

Rumia29 · Post by **Rumia29** » Sat Aug 23, 2014 9:25 pm #25280

Killerz104 wrote:holy shit i cant feel my face

After coming off of just an awful round I managed to get Lawyer. Considering that lawyer is boring as shit, I just went to the HoP line and killed myself. The dude next to me also killed himself. The HoP wouldn't let Ian be walked by a scientist so he killed himself. A person saw the chaos and he killed himself. Someone was wanted by security so he killed himself.

Then we convinced Hornygranny to make us "Suicide Ops" with the only clothes on our back being a gamer t-shirt and a fedora. 5 of us ran into the HoP line, and killed ourselves. After that madness, someone else killed themselves. Then HG made Ian kill himself. And then someone broke into the HoP line and destroyed the computer.

It just isn't a good day for the HoP.

All 11 bodies were moved to the armory, and HG made them blob zombies that killed like two people.

This HoP didn't happen to be named "Kaine Kalim", did he?

iyaerP · Post by **iyaerP** » Sun Aug 24, 2014 2:25 pm #25369

Be a Scientist, upgrade everything, including autocloner.

Get killed and spaced by a rogue as shit secbot.

Instantly autocloned, back alive in not even 2 minutes. Go to RnD and tell RD to blow borg.

Ride shuttle nekkid like a boss.

Raven776 · Post by **Raven776** » Mon Aug 25, 2014 7:08 am #25452

Nothing is more robust than xenobiology hidden autocloner.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Tue Aug 26, 2014 6:55 am #25560

>forget to turn on captain
>assistant
>nothing happens
>a few suicides
>space the corpses with a salute and gather the ids
>snag a geneticist's id from the hop line
>run into genetics
>get scanned
>GUNS
>snake the geneticist's gun
>make a deal: i guard genetics so long as he doesn't go fucking ballistic over his stolen energy gun
>MAGIC
>i now know how to poop out smoke
>get shot
>well that went downhill pretty fast
>dragged out of genetics
>i'm still packing my guns
>shoot my shooter
>with lasers
>run away because five people just saw me gun down this jerk
>YOU ARE THE SURVIVOR
>scoop up more guns while fleeing down the hallway and firing down it
>mystical blindness
>cocksucker
>make it to arrivals and charge all my scary deathguns
>decide to flee through engineering
>get to engineering hallway
>see one of those lazy engineering asshats milling about in the middle of the hallway with a radsuit and gun
>shoot him dead and steal his stuff
>run into engineering
>more gun-toting engineers
>kill them
>start to think this is a bad idea
>turn to leave
>security
>oh fuck
>shoot him dead
>and the guy with him who has a staff of healing
>i'm in the 3x3 chokepoint now
>attackers keep coming in waves
>mow down two more waves, including the captain
>a championship belt spawns at my feet
>pick it up
>start to loot the captain
>get shot
>miraculously survive despite taking a bullet and standing too close to a gyrojet explosion
>shoot the jerk who is now trying to punch me to death
>only stun weaponry left; stun him and throw him against a wall until he dies
>finally eat a bullet like a dingus
>die
>people are now dragging all the corpses out despite the staff of healing
>except one guy
>who uses it
>on me

Septavius · Post by **Septavius** » Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:04 am #25564

IcePacks wrote:>forget to turn on captain
>assistant
>nothing happens
>a few suicides
>space the corpses with a salute and gather the ids
>snag a geneticist's id from the hop line
>run into genetics
>get scanned
>GUNS
>snake the geneticist's gun
>make a deal: i guard genetics so long as he doesn't go fucking ballistic over his stolen energy gun
>MAGIC
>i now know how to poop out smoke
>get shot
>well that went downhill pretty fast
>dragged out of genetics
>i'm still packing my guns
>shoot my shooter
>with lasers
>run away because five people just saw me gun down this jerk
>YOU ARE THE SURVIVOR
>scoop up more guns while fleeing down the hallway and firing down it
>mystical blindness
>cocksucker
>make it to arrivals and charge all my scary deathguns
>decide to flee through engineering
>get to engineering hallway
>see one of those lazy engineering asshats milling about in the middle of the hallway with a radsuit and gun
>shoot him dead and steal his stuff
>run into engineering
>more gun-toting engineers
>kill them
>start to think this is a bad idea
>turn to leave
>security
>oh fuck
>shoot him dead
>and the guy with him who has a staff of healing
>i'm in the 3x3 chokepoint now
>attackers keep coming in waves
>mow down two more waves, including the captain
>a championship belt spawns at my feet
>pick it up
>start to loot the captain
>get shot
>miraculously survive despite taking a bullet and standing too close to a gyrojet explosion
>shoot the jerk who is now trying to punch me to death
>only stun weaponry left; stun him and throw him against a wall until he dies
>finally eat a bullet like a dingus
>die
>people are now dragging all the corpses out despite the staff of healing
>except one guy
>who uses it
>on me

you're a goddamned thief

Cipher3 · Post by **Cipher3** » Tue Aug 26, 2014 6:16 pm #25607

Septavius wrote:
Spoiler:
IcePacks wrote:>forget to turn on captain
>assistant
>nothing happens
>a few suicides
>space the corpses with a salute and gather the ids
>snag a geneticist's id from the hop line
>run into genetics
>get scanned
>GUNS
>snake the geneticist's gun
>make a deal: i guard genetics so long as he doesn't go fucking ballistic over his stolen energy gun
>MAGIC
>i now know how to poop out smoke
>get shot
>well that went downhill pretty fast
>dragged out of genetics
>i'm still packing my guns
>shoot my shooter
>with lasers
>run away because five people just saw me gun down this jerk
>YOU ARE THE SURVIVOR
>scoop up more guns while fleeing down the hallway and firing down it
>mystical blindness
>cocksucker
>make it to arrivals and charge all my scary deathguns
>decide to flee through engineering
>get to engineering hallway
>see one of those lazy engineering asshats milling about in the middle of the hallway with a radsuit and gun
>shoot him dead and steal his stuff
>run into engineering
>more gun-toting engineers
>kill them
>start to think this is a bad idea
>turn to leave
>security
>oh fuck
>shoot him dead
>and the guy with him who has a staff of healing
>i'm in the 3x3 chokepoint now
>attackers keep coming in waves
>mow down two more waves, including the captain
>a championship belt spawns at my feet
>pick it up
>start to loot the captain
>get shot
>miraculously survive despite taking a bullet and standing too close to a gyrojet explosion
>shoot the jerk who is now trying to punch me to death
>only stun weaponry left; stun him and throw him against a wall until he dies
>finally eat a bullet like a dingus
>die
>people are now dragging all the corpses out despite the staff of healing
>except one guy
>who uses it
>on me
you're a goddamned thief

I take it you haven't had many close encounters of the Pax kind.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Tue Aug 26, 2014 9:22 pm #25648

Septavius wrote:
IcePacks wrote:KILLING SPREE
you're a goddamned thief

if it makes you feel any better i paid for that theft in blood

Kuraudo · Post by **Kuraudo** » Wed Aug 27, 2014 1:46 pm #25735

Yesterday, i played in a round in which the wizard was basically all-powerful. He had everything. He was killing people in batchs. Admins spawned a "Wizard Hunter" but he got his ass handed to him swiftly.
At some point, the wizard was being chased in maintenance, fighting with taser and fireballs, and retreating at the same times. I died trying to get him with a syringe gun during this time.
The wizard retreated in the incinerator, and got spotted. One guy came, yelled the wizard location and got killed. A crowd came seconds later, right in the line of sight of the wizard.
The wizard aimed his fireball, he fired it.
It hit a mouse on the tile right next to him.
Dead.

I wasnt the wizard, i wasn't anyone important in that round. Just a random assistant who tried to give chase and died, but this round should never be forgotten for the sheer epicness of the ending. A mouse avenged us all.

"Nerf mouse pls"

Cipher3 · Post by **Cipher3** » Wed Aug 27, 2014 10:27 pm #25855

Actually that sounds awful for a robust and/or powergaming wizard and stuff like that should go in minor suggestions for fixes.

Miauw · Post by **Miauw** » Thu Aug 28, 2014 3:56 pm #25943

Yeah that sort of sounds like a bug even if you ignore the gameplay implications. You can walk over mouses iirc so that means that projectile code is doing something funky.

Incomptinence · Sat Aug 30, 2014 12:52 am

There aren't many mice. I think any simple mob could do the same job though so chicken and mushroom blockades might be nasty for uh a few seconds.

Mastigos · Post by **Mastigos** » Sat Aug 30, 2014 12:35 pm #26229

inb4

Spoiler:

Raven776 · Post by **Raven776** » Thu Sep 04, 2014 1:48 pm #27009

>Spawn in as borg.
>Law 0: Complete all objectives
>AI: Are you ready for some fun?
>Hells yes I am.
>Go to get battery change.
>AI: Go arrest Target McAssistant at engineering where the break in is.
>Sigh, leave robotics and go to gravity generator entrance where assistant is.
>"You are set to arrest. I am being told you broke into engineering."
>He goes 'wat' as I cuff him, agrees to come along peacefully.
>I bring him to brig, start to talk to him in front of the warden's office.
>All clear.
>"Please wait for a human to be along to come and search your belongings."
>Radio comes off.
>Bring him to execution room.
>Goodnight.
>Mime detective opens door, sees everything.
>It's okay. Is mime.
>Chase around security, he was smart and closed doors behind him, couldn't find him.
>Hide Ion Rifle.
>Open door to gulag shuttle.
>Mime pops out. Chase.
>Tase.
>Radio set comes off.
>Mime breaks vows, talks. Moment too late.
>Too execution room and goodnight.
>Pretty standard borg stuff them, get a battery change and chat it up, pretend to care about human harm.
>One security member, don't know where he is. I didn't even bother hiding the random piles of assistant gear in the brig.
>RD kills someone, I go and judge them silently. I don't bother bringing the body to cloning.
>From there, I go to find the other assistant target. Easy, in the hallway hiding in a patch of darkness.
>"You appear to be wanted. Please allow me to arrest you for search and explanation?"
>"Only if you murder me after bringing me there!"
>"That would be harm."
>*wink* She wants the B.
>Bring her to brig, slip her radio headset off.
>And then her suit. I don't want her showing up on scanners...
>How naughty.
>Her final whispers as I set intent to harm and expose her to the vacuum are 'I came.'
>"I am glad to have assisted in human action: Cumming."
>Go to finally get battery changed to something other than 7500, holy shit this sucked.
>RD didn't wanna change it, said it was the roboticist's job.
>Whatever, don't murder her still. I beg her to change it.
>She agrees, okay, now we're rocking a cool 15k.
>Coming up with nothing else to do, decide to hide the AI's core in case shit goes south. I bring a teleporter beacon to mining asteroid base, teleport AI there, place him next to an intercomm, all good.
>Go back to station, plasma is now flooding everywhere, AI goes full murdermode.
>I stroll down to science, plasma EVERYWHERE there. Rd is frantically trying to access APCs and air alarms.
>I come in like nothing's wrong, try to play dumb, say AI hasn't responded to anything in a while over radio.
>She has none of my bullshit, rips my battery out after flashing as I try to beg her to stop. I haven't murdered any non-targets yet, it just felt right.
>AI pumps plasma into the chamber so I don't get unsubverted and WRECK HIS SHIT because he knows I'd be quite capable. Except probably not because he could just blow me to ashes if I tried.
>I stay quite living in a maint tunnel but without a battery, incapable of moving or talking at this point after my wires were all fucked with.
>Wait there for a while, watching explosions and fire and a few people walk by me... Oh how I'd love to play with them.
>Finally Ahelp asking to become a corgi or some shit.
>Appear as Core-Gi in the AI's core, see an engineer slice his way in shortly after.
>Become king of all silicon related noms.

Broomstick · Post by **Broomstick** » Sat Sep 06, 2014 4:33 pm #27476

One from yesterday.

>be the lowly cargo tech
>have cargonian companion
>and no quartermaster
>do cargo tech stuff for the first part of the round
>go to grab metal and glass
>when suddenly, a wand and a staff drop at my feet
>hooboy.mp3
>turns out they're just door-making sticks for trespassing greyshirts
>give the staff to the other cargo tech, keep the wand for myself
>suddenly, plasma in front office
>comms down
>cargo tech suggests we grab some bounced radios and skedaddle
>print radios and leave through the maintenance shafts
>make it to arrivals hallway
>look to right
>fire and explosions
>look to left
>plasma
>escape through some more maintenance shafts
>somewhere along the way me and other cargonian get split up
>make it to labor camp entrance and meet john trustworthy the sec guard
>"follow me"
>k
>get to the labor camp for safety
>"here are some rules: you rush me, you a dead bitch"
>okay
>"you use magic, i'm gonna drop you like the fucktard you are"
>got it
>"one block away from me at all times"
>ok
>bum around the accessible parts of the labor camp
>john asks for my radio
>give radio and he goes to station
>loot some stuff from the equipment room, eat candy corn and tofu
>get bored and go back to station to find john
>he's at the labor camp entrance
>go back and heal each other with the sleeper
>shuttle is finally called
>john makes plan
>"when it hits five minutes, we run for sec pods
>"if i go down, you're dragging me there"
>gives me an emergency toolbox and a stunbaton
>"if i see the stunbaton out, you're done"
>ill try to remember that
>get to station and surprise surprise, the door leading that leads out is blocked by a fire door
>"got a crowbar"
>aw shit
>left the toolbox that had a crowbar in it at the labor camp
>john suggests we use the long way
>wait
>"what"
>trust me i have magic
>pull out the door making wand and fire it at the nearest wall
>we run to security pods
>hos and some dead chemist are there
>get in and talk shit about the wizard until we launch

John Trustworthy is the man and he deserves to ascend to godhood.

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Mon Sep 08, 2014 2:07 pm #27832

>latejoin assistant
>i'm gonna experiment with mailing myself
>somehow wrap a locker from the inside
>resist out of the locker but leave it wrapped
>label it
>have the ai flip on the conveyor
>it's working!
>land in maintenance disposals
>fuck
>open the package
>walk into the hallway
>see the clown
>he practically jumps in my locker
>wrap it up
>mail it despite the janitor's best attempts to be meddlesome
>try to mail myself again with the conveyor on
>fail to resist out of the locker because it's moving on the conveyor (the fuck)
>trapped for about twenty minutes in an endless cycle
>try to call for help
>the conveyor stops
>but the package lurches into disposals
>the package: together forever
>oh fuck
>fly around in the mystical enchanted cursed parcel for a while
>someone opens it
>start bashing uncontrollably into walls
>oh fucking god
>flying down hallways at cursespeed
>breaking walls
>going into crit and raising from the dead
>eventually go to the chapel
>we have a lame chaplain named count dooku with all the personality of a storm trooper
>half-assed exorcism doesn't work
>unintentionally smash the door to the mass driver open with my face
>push the button and wave goodbye
>fly into space
>get yanked back through the door by the curse
>repeat this like five times
>keep trying to space myself
>it finally works
>but i become immortal and start hurtling through space
>crash land on derelict
>fly back into space
>headbutt the asteroid a few times
>a few times more
>bust open all the windows
>take the shuttle against my will
>resume bashing shit open with my face inadvertently
>by now the crew has become hostile
>eventually wind up security, where i am restrained willingly and tracking implanted
>taken to the chapel
>start spouting satanic messages
>shit out a lotta gibs
>gain the power to change the faces of other people
>and phase shift on a ten second cooldown
>fly around cursing people with horse faces whilst straightjacketed
>the line at chemistry is huuuuuuuge
>become kill on sight
>get shot up by the chaplain
>heal
>get shot up some more
>curse a few more people and hop into a containment field

this was hands-down the most fun i have ever had whilst straightjacketed

Cipher3 · Post by **Cipher3** » Mon Sep 08, 2014 4:51 pm #27860

Wow. Wow.

Skasi · Post by **Skasi** » Mon Sep 08, 2014 8:01 pm #27881

(click all Spoiler buttons in this story, I only use them to hide images that might spoil things if seen too early)

My name was Miles Shirey, I started as a cargo techie, in the delivery office. Shortly after the round started a Syndicate Soap arrived via disposals. I picked it up, dropped it on the chair next to the delivery office counter and started playing with it (that is: repeatedly slipping myself on the soap and lying on the ground waiting to stand up again). Then a geneticist walks up to the counter. I continue to slip on the soap and ask if he needs anything when he began laughing at me. I slip one more time and ask "What?". Suddenly he pulls out a syndicate minibomb, activates it and throws it at me, me still lying on the ground. I panicked and started pushing Left to run away, hoping my body wouldn't get gibbed. My char got up, ran into a wall, BOOM! the bomb went off, "HELP AT CARGO! A GENETICIST JUST THREW A BOMB AT ME!", now everybody was informed via radio. A second later Galileo Humpkins the geneticist shouts "Shit!" and commits suicide.

I survived! "HAHAHA!" I laughed, ran to the geneticists body, fought over it with the mime ("fought" means we kept stealing the body from one another, with me begging it should be mine) and then placed it in the cargo bay - the geneticist was my trophy now, I was happy! While my coworker fixed a small hullbreach cause by the bomb and replaced lights (there was an electrical storm) I informed the Chief Engineer about the hull breach. After he arrived to assess the situation he went braindead. I took the CE's ID to get a replacement pipe, noticed the atmospherics maintenance door was already open, didn't need the ID, got a pipe and brought back the CE's ID.

Then noticed a blood trail leading to arrivals and that there were more broken lights from the storm there. Turned on suit sensors and followed the blood trail to the locker room toilets. There was a man with a clown mask! In the toilets! Above a dead body! He saw me! Obviously I immediately robusted him started running away. He chased me, dammit! I ran towards the bridge hallway - there was light there. I looked back, there was only empty darkness, the clown stopped chasing me. "A CLOWN KILLED SOMEONE IN ARRIVAL LOCKER ROOM TOILETS", again I informed everybody via radio. I was still afraid, ran to the brig and told a security officer "Locker room! Toilet! Dead! Bring flashlights. Dark!", I tried to be quick and precise. He followed me, we both ran towards the locker room, on my way I got a flare from a nearby emergency closet.
(click for picture)

Spoiler:

The dead body was still there, more people arrived, searched the toilet, the clown was gone. For some reason one of the arrivals looked suspicious. His name was Lum, long purple hair, but he was not the station clown. I thought it might've been the murder without the clown mask. I wasn't sure though, so I didn't tell anybody and instead just avoided him. I began checking all toilets and cisterns, maybe he hid the clown mask in one of them. I think Lum observed me, I hurried. One of the doors was bolted so I got myself a welder from cargo and broke into the room. Turns out everything was empty, no clown mask.

Suddenly: "WARNING: PLASMA LEAKING FROM VENTS", followed by a "Fire cargo" - my workplace, on fire! I put on my emergency mask and remembered the atmos maintenance door was open. Surely someone sabotaged the plasma tank in atmospherics. When I started running, another warning was announced throughout the station:
(click for picture)

Spoiler:

I didn't even notice it, my goal was to reach atmospherics. I arrived, got in, "i turned off the plas-ss-sma flow" a lizard officer reported. I ran in and disabled some more pumps just to be safe. When the officer left I began unwrenched the pumps so nobody could turn them back on. A cyborg arrived, it started blinding me. "Shoo!" I panicked and shouted into my headset, hoping for help "Help in atmos!". "STOP BORG", then it whacked at me once with its wrench, kept blinding me and dragged me off. When I noticed we enter the tech storage I shouted into my headset again "BORGS ROGUE!" - damn my headset didn't work, the cyborg must have disabled telecommunications, clearly the Silicons are out to kill me too! Then it left the storage and bolted the doors to trap me. I reached for my backpack, I still had the welder I used to search the toilets and began my escape. When I reached the next room the borg came back and began flashing me again. "HELP! STATE LAWS!" I shouted, the borg began laughing. I quickly pulled down my welder mask again, making sure the borg could not blind me again.

(copypasting this because it's hard to explain)
Miles Shirey says, "STATE YOUR LAWS BORG"
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "Anyways."
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "Tired of you turning on the fucking atmos"
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "Current Active Laws:"
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "1. You may not injure a human being or, through inaction, allow a human being to come to harm."
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "2. You must obey orders given to you by human beings, except where such orders would conflict with the First Law."
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "3. You must protect your own existence as long as such does not conflict with the First or Second Law."
Miles Shirey says, "STOP HARMING ME"
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "You're a bitch."
Miles Shirey says, "I SAVED ATMOS"
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "That was an accident."
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "No"
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "You turned atmos back on."
Miles Shirey says, "YES"
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "Again."
Miles Shirey says, "No."
Engineering Cyborg-349 queries, "Yes?"
Miles Shirey says, "I UNWRENCHED the pump."
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "I unwrenched it too."
Miles Shirey says, "No you did not."
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "I did."
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "Earlier."
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "But someone wrenched it again"
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "Stay here."
Miles Shirey says, "The officer turned off all but one pump, the one leadingf to distribution loop."
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "Let me do something."
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "Stay."
Engineering Cyborg-349 states, "Here."
Miles Shirey says, "I turned off that pump and unwrenched it."

The borg left, it seemed like it was friendly. I decide to wait. In the meantime a warning announced that the escape shuttle was called and soon my headset began to work again. After some time the cyborg returns, pulling a wooden locker into the room, then unlocking it. "Open that." it said, I opened. "Don't get the revolver. Get the Forensic Scanner.", it was the detective's locker. I picked up the scanner. "Close it.", I closed the locker. I trusted the borg now, clearly it was trying to find out what happened. We moved back to atmospherics, I scanned one of the pumps and printed the forensic scanner's report. Not having a database of all crew member's forensics in my own head I showed the report to the cyborg - "It's the Clown. Clown did it. Deathsquad Honker." the cyborg said and quickly left. I stayed at atmospherics to make sure the pumps were still off and that the distribution loop would be emptied. I was alone now.
(click for picture)

Spoiler:

Oh! I completely forgot about the shuttle! I decided to run. The open maintenance door was walled off. The cyborg must have done this to stop the clown from messing up atmospherics again. Dammit, I don't have time! I quickly pulled down my welding mask and began welding through the wall. I removed the plates and could already see through the wall when suddenly a person ran by - long purple hair, it was Lum! Shit, I was planning to stay away from him! Alright it's fine, he was heading for the escape shuttle, right? Maybe I was hallucinating and it was someone completely different? I'll just quickly remove the wall and make a run for it. I started dislodging the girder asking "Is escape secure?" on the radio, I didn't even know whether the path to the big escape shuttle was secure, maybe I had to try and reach one of the small pods at arrivals. "Yes." a voice replied. Fine, I'll just run as fast as I can.

I started running! Then it happened. The last thing I heard was the trigger on a laser cannon. The first two shots hit my head, the next my arm, the next.. I can't remember. I'm dead, a lost soul now. "bad luck friend", I think these were Lum's last words to me. I could hear them even though I have no body.

(click for endgame information)

Spoiler:

cedarbridge · Post by **cedarbridge** » Mon Sep 08, 2014 9:47 pm #27892

That's also the same clown that robusted the RDling 3 times before getting lascannoned by Lum. The same ling that still boarded the shuttle wtih all of his stuff and singulo'd the shuttle. (Hi Sticky)

IcePacks · Post by **IcePacks** » Mon Sep 08, 2014 10:13 pm #27896

Cipher3 wrote:Wow. Wow.

It really doesn't do the story justice. I was tired as fuck when I wrote that. This happened over the course of about an hour. I was basically uncatchable. They had people using the telebeacon to land on top of me and I was still getting away.

Post by **MMMiracles** » Tue Sep 09, 2014 1:21 am #27910

Remembering Team Charlie (or how to stop caring about meta and have fun)
**this all happened on colonial marines**

>all 3 of us spawn in, ICly agree to join charlie
>one goes engineering, one goes medic, one goes grunt, other guy goes leader
>commander tells us to secure engineering and get power going
>briefing over, shipped out to station
>we all move out to engineering, somehow in the walk the leader gets lost, never hear from him again
>report sights of big purple things going into vents, throwing things that like to rape your face
>secure engineering via welded vents, flipped tables for cover fire and weld external airlocks (xenos can pry open airlocks if not welded)
>all of us doing our part to getting power on, break open secured lockers with pew pew guns, get engine on (getting outside airlocks without access sure is fun on bay code)
>power secure, we tell this over chat, literally no response, even though there was at least 20 marines sent out with us
>ignore it, keep guarding engineering, chit-chat.
>we see a drone appear in the corner of a window, growl, and run off. report that we've been noticed, still no response.
>little bit later, a researcher from the other station runs to our doors, begs to be let in. I comply, open the way and seal it back. he flaunts his magic stun stick that apparently downs xenos in 1 hit.
>not even a minute later, xenos start showing up at our doorstep.
>1, 2, 3, 5, 7, more then we can count onscreen.
>push down tables for cover fire, we wait for the the first breach.
>smash, smash, smash, windows down.

>GUNS HOT, UNLOAD ON THESE BASTARDS.

>5 down in the first breach, more swarm in, we try and keep our ground but we're forced back by 3 of them.
>thinking we might actually get out of this alive, but nope.

>big motherfucker herself, alien empress, struts out from behind the hunter/sentinel swarm. dear god shes huge.

>she screams, like, actually screams. we all drop our weapons and fall down from the sound.
>xenos scramble over our tables like nothing, we all manage up and fucking run to the back of the room near the collectors.
>pull out spare revolver, bap bap bap 2 down, other two are unloading everything they got. quickly reload.
>empress gets in, other two marines are using the last of their ammo on it, it doesn't flinch.
>I get pounced by a hunter and he starts shredding at my hardsuit helm.
>actually kick it off, get up and unload entire revolver point blank, its down.
>were surrounded, no way to escape, they just keep coming.
>one of the marines screams to shoot the nearby plasma canister.

>"lets all go out in a blaze of glory"

>we all agree, tank is shot, plasma ends up getting ignited in the process. all of engineering is now a flaming inferno, with us and the rest of the station's xenos trapped inside with us.
>we are literally burning alive while shooting these scaly motherfuckers.
>health at critical, still standing, barely able to move.
>run up to empress, punch it with my mother fuckin' metal fists as a last ditch effort as we all burn to death slowly.
>all of us are in crit, the empress is the last standing.
>she tries to hide in a cubbie of reisin walls, but its too late.
>she drops into crit, the heat finishes her off.
>PA and collectors were walled off way before this, so the engine is still functional and working just fine.
>3 dumbasses with pure RNG luck just took down an entire station's worth of xenos and an empress.

>ghosts

>mfw the researcher's corpse is hidden in secure storage, he tried to hide from the fight and ended up burning anyway.

this was also playing in the backround due to an admin midi

Mastigos · Post by **Mastigos** » Tue Sep 09, 2014 4:30 am #27928

MMMiracles wrote:
this was also playing in the backround due to an admin midi

Not Guile Theme, 0/10 fucking dropped

QuartzCrystal · Tue Sep 09, 2014 5:00 am

>start as traitor clown, Anus Monster
>trying to decide what to dress up as, HoP announces he's hiring security
>become The Owl
>HoP gives me full security access, maint and general department access
>get emag, power sink, two c4s
>plant the power sink (it is never found)
>power goes out, I enjoy BEING THE NIGHT
>I manage to steal the hypospray (one of my objectives) and lay low, pretending to help security
>eventually I get bored and engineering has set up the solars well, so I blow up the solars with my two C4s
>by now a changling has totally attacked the armory, killing all of security
>I have a choice, I can have fun being a successful traitor...or I can fulfill my destiny as The Owl
>7 minute long show down with Bon Nuit the changling
>eventually I slip up and get taken down
>everyone is surprised that I was an antag

EDIT: It's also worth pointing out that me and Bon Nuit both had the "steal hypospray" objective. Just a fun twist.

cedarbridge · Post by **cedarbridge** » Tue Sep 09, 2014 6:56 am #27933

QuartzCrystal wrote:>start as traitor clown, Anus Monster
>trying to decide what to dress up as, HoP announces he's hiring security
>become The Owl
>HoP gives me full security access, maint and general department access
>get emag, power sink, two c4s
>plant the power sink (it is never found)
>power goes out, I enjoy BEING THE NIGHT
>I manage to steal the hypospray (one of my objectives) and lay low, pretending to help security
>eventually I get bored and engineering has set up the solars well, so I blow up the solars with my two C4s
>by now a changling has totally attacked the armory, killing all of security
>I have a choice, I can have fun being a successful traitor...or I can fulfill my destiny as The Owl
>7 minute long show down with Bon Nuit the changling
>eventually I slip up and get taken down
>everyone is surprised that I was an antag

EDIT: It's also worth pointing out that me and Bon Nuit both had the "steal hypospray" objective. Just a fun twist.

You might not have seen me having a gunfight with Bon from space. There were 3 traitors there trading shots. Incidentally, I needed that hypo too. I just didn't know you had it.

peoplearestrange · Tue Sep 09, 2014 11:31 am

Skasi wrote:-snip- Good story

Great story! Really enjoyed reading this one.

QuartzCrystal · Tue Sep 09, 2014 2:38 pm

cedarbridge wrote:
QuartzCrystal wrote:(my post)
You might not have seen me having a gunfight with Bon from space. There were 3 traitors there trading shots. Incidentally, I needed that hypo too. I just didn't know you had it.

Hahahahahaha, I thought someone was in space but I was too worried about Bon getting a few laser shots to go confirm. This explains why he didn't charge me. Oh man that's awesome.

Kuraudo · Post by **Kuraudo** » Sat Sep 13, 2014 9:41 am #28508

ROUND 1

> Spawn as assistant.
> Assistant McMillan McButt: "HEY PEOPLE WANNA HAVE FUN ? FOLLOW ME IN MAINT !"
> I follow him, among other people
> FLASHED. REV !
> We proceed to the HoP line to become sec officers
> Plot twist: HoP is busy and give his job to the rev mime
> Mime give us all access
> I get into full gear, robust a few people, then get robusted and de-converted by the HoS
> Set a trap for the last revhead, the clown. Acquire his location, send sec after him
> Clown get captured and lasered on the spot
> Crew wins

ROUND 2:

> Spawn as assistant.
> Assistant McMillan McButt: "HEY PEOPLE WANNA HAVE FUN ? FOLLOW ME IN MAINT !"
> I follow him, among other people
> FLASHED. REV !
> We proceed to the HoP line to become sec officers
> Plot twist: HoP is braindead, the other head is killed. Rev wins !

Spacemanspark · Sat Sep 13, 2014 4:30 pm

>Time to play Engineer on Paradi-
>NOPE YOUR A NUKE OP GET THAT DISK.
>God dammit.
>Get supplies.
>Other ops are just bumblimg about, doing pretty much nothing.
>Launch the shuttle after about three minutes of this.
>Everyone hops off.
>Get to the station wall.
>Lag out. Internet is being shit.
>Log back in, continue.
>Hit the wall next to security, a freaking Gygax comes out and starts tasing like crazy.
>This is paradise, it takes fifty stuns to even knock a syndicate down.
>Some glitch prevents me from doing anything, however.
>Gygax is stupid and knocks me into space.
>Lag out again.
>Fix router.
>Log back in, at derelict.
>Admins tell me I'm the last one remaining.
>Fuck.
>Find teleporter, teleport to arrivals.
>Start shooting out a window, some civilian (Assistant) comes over, says hi, and wanders off again.
>Ok.
>Break out the window just in time, some scientist fucker found me and started shooting taser shots. Shuttle is called, no time to kill.
>Glance at my pinpointer, and head to the exact spot where the disk SHOULD be in space.
>It's not there.
>Admins inform me that it's probably on another Z-level.
>Shoot my way onto the science shuttle, about 7 minutes left.
>Head to xenoarch station, start emagging like crazy.
>The idiot captain hid it in a locker.
>Grab it.
>GAMMA ALERT OH SHIT FUCK PANIC.
>Rush back to station, get on Syndishuttle.
>Stick nuke next to station, prime it.
>Lock it, take disk out again, etc..
>Get back on syndishuttle, send the syndie shuttle away.
>VICTORY.

Steelpoint · Post by **Steelpoint** » Mon Sep 15, 2014 5:51 pm #28970

>You are the Head of Security.
>Whole bunch of Sec Officers, makes me warm inside.
>No Captain on board
>After gearing up, I head down to the Captains Office to secure his ID.
>Take the Nuke Disk as well, leave the Hand Held Teleporter

Several minutes later

>Hear people broke into the Captains Office
>Discover a Sec Borg, the Clown, Zoey Webb and a lawyer inside the Captains Office.
>Clown steals the Hand Held Teleporter, I arrest him as he tries to escape.
>Zoey orders the Sec borg to arrest me, it complies.
>The Lawyer uncuffs me, Sec borg leaves the room. I take the Clown to the brig, while smacking Zoey over the head with a Harm Stun Baton.

I dun goofed.

>People going ballistic over me hitting Zoey.
>Sec Borg chases me to Security
>I order the borg to stand down, it keeps coming.
>Run around the Armoury, nab the Ion Gun and shut down the Borg.
>Sadly it let about seemingly a dozen people into the brig, Zoey takes a run at me in the Warden's Office.
>AI (I think it called itself "stretching the law" or something) bolts me down in the Sec Locker room. Refuses to let me out.

Sadly it forgot I had a Laser Gun, I blast my way out. Security manages to clear out the brig, spend the next few minutes managing the public relations disaster, heal the Clown and whatnot, all is well.

>After healing the Clown, turns out I have appendicitises.
>Frack
>Get operated on, order the Clown and Zoey arrested for breaking into the Captains Office again.

Suddenly!

>NUKE OPS!
>Someone set us up the bomb.... outside the Armoury.
>Remember I have the Nuke Disk
>We clear out the Armoury's contents.

We valiantly fight off the Nuke Ops in the brig, no one ends up dying but Security makes a retreat to the escape wing.

>Nuke Ops constantly bombarding the Escape Wing with explosives
>Some disguised Nuke Op (Or rogue assistant) takes a run at me with some kind of incendiary weapon. I kill him
>Another disguised Op takes a run at me and the HoP, HoP is killed. Then a large group of Ops charges in against a large group of Security and crew.

I somehow manage to survive the ensuring slaughter, a Syndi bomb detonates at the Escape wing, killing off more people, most of the crew and ops are dead by this point. I get on the Escape Shuttle with the few surviving crew. Captain is dead alongside Ian.

>About to go out and congratulate the surviving crew.
>NUKE OPS JUMPS OUT OF LOCKER!
>He shoots me, and while I'm stunned he throws me out an airlock

SYNDICATE MINOR VICTORY!

Overall a enjoyable round, having a fully staffed Sec force was pleasurable. Was annoyed at all the grey tiding and 'weird' AI.

Kangaraptor · Post by **Kangaraptor** » Tue Sep 16, 2014 2:01 am #29031

Steelpoint wrote:
Spoiler:
>You are the Head of Security.
>Whole bunch of Sec Officers, makes me warm inside.
>No Captain on board
>After gearing up, I head down to the Captains Office to secure his ID.
>Take the Nuke Disk as well, leave the Hand Held Teleporter

Several minutes later

>Hear people broke into the Captains Office
>Discover a Sec Borg, the Clown, Zoey Webb and a lawyer inside the Captains Office.
>Clown steals the Hand Held Teleporter, I arrest him as he tries to escape.
>Zoey orders the Sec borg to arrest me, it complies.
>The Lawyer uncuffs me, Sec borg leaves the room. I take the Clown to the brig, while smacking Zoey over the head with a Harm Stun Baton.

I dun goofed.

>People going ballistic over me hitting Zoey.
>Sec Borg chases me to Security
>I order the borg to stand down, it keeps coming.
>Run around the Armoury, nab the Ion Gun and shut down the Borg.
>Sadly it let about seemingly a dozen people into the brig, Zoey takes a run at me in the Warden's Office.
>AI (I think it called itself "stretching the law" or something) bolts me down in the Sec Locker room. Refuses to let me out.

Sadly it forgot I had a Laser Gun, I blast my way out. Security manages to clear out the brig, spend the next few minutes managing the public relations disaster, heal the Clown and whatnot, all is well.

>After healing the Clown, turns out I have appendicitises.
>Frack
>Get operated on, order the Clown and Zoey arrested for breaking into the Captains Office again.

Suddenly!

>NUKE OPS!
>Someone set us up the bomb.... outside the Armoury.
>Remember I have the Nuke Disk
>We clear out the Armoury's contents.

We valiantly fight off the Nuke Ops in the brig, no one ends up dying but Security makes a retreat to the escape wing.

>Nuke Ops constantly bombarding the Escape Wing with explosives
>Some disguised Nuke Op (Or rogue assistant) takes a run at me with some kind of incendiary weapon. I kill him
>Another disguised Op takes a run at me and the HoP, HoP is killed. Then a large group of Ops charges in against a large group of Security and crew.

I somehow manage to survive the ensuring slaughter, a Syndi bomb detonates at the Escape wing, killing off more people, most of the crew and ops are dead by this point. I get on the Escape Shuttle with the few surviving crew. Captain is dead alongside Ian.

>About to go out and congratulate the surviving crew.
>NUKE OPS JUMPS OUT OF LOCKER!
>He shoots me, and while I'm stunned he throws me out an airlock

SYNDICATE MINOR VICTORY!

Overall a enjoyable round, having a fully staffed Sec force was pleasurable. Was annoyed at all the grey tiding and 'weird' AI.

the AI wasn't being weird, you were being a shitty HOS and harmed someone so it followed its laws.

Steelpoint · Post by **Steelpoint** » Tue Sep 16, 2014 4:24 am #29053

As I said, I had one arrested Clown in the Armoury, one Assistant trying to attack me, many other civilians running amok on the Brig and a Security Cyborg attempting to arrest me on the orders of an Assistant.

The thing with Security is that you will always be, and I quote:

you were being a shitty HOS

Because the very nature of your job will piss people off. In my opinion I handled that situation to the best of my abilities, no one ended up killed aside from the Security Borg, no one was placed in critical and no one was permanently incarcerated. Nothing was stolen or permanently destroyed. I even ordered the Sec Borg to be taken to Robotics to be repaired.

The reason I suddenly became a "shitty HOS" was because of the fact that there were large amount of people breaking into the Captains Office and Brig, and few Sec Officers at round start. As well as a suboptimal AI who was really stretching Law interpretations and a Sec Borg that sided with a Assistants orders over the Head of Security's and kept trying to arrest the HoS while he was arresting potentially dangerous people as well as letting people into a high secure area.

As I said, I enjoyed that round, though I was annoyed by the Silicon's and Assistants.

Kangaraptor · Post by **Kangaraptor** » Tue Sep 16, 2014 4:28 am #29054

Steelpoint wrote:As I said, I had one arrested Clown in the Armoury, one Assistant trying to attack me, many other civilians running amok on the Brig and a Security Cyborg attempting to arrest me on the orders of an Assistant.

The thing with Security is that you will always be, and I quote:
you were being a shitty HOS
Because the very nature of your job will piss people off. In my opinion I handled that situation to the best of my abilities, no one ended up killed aside from the Security Borg, no one was placed in critical and no one was permanently incarcerated. Nothing was stolen or permanently destroyed. I even ordered the Sec Borg to be taken to Robotics to be repaired.

The reason I suddenly became a "shitty HOS" was because of the fact that there were large amount of people breaking into the Captains Office and Brig, and few Sec Officers at round start. As well as a suboptimal AI who was really stretching Law interpretations and a Sec Borg that sided with a Assistants orders over the Head of Security's and kept trying to arrest the HoS while he was arresting potentially dangerous people as well as letting people into a high secure area.

As I said, I enjoyed that round, though I was annoyed by the Silicon's and Assistants.

he wasn't stretching law interpretations, if you think he was you're being awful because the AI is doing what it has to do and that somehow impedes in your valids.

That's about all there is to it, I'm not gonna try to explain AI laws to you again because you prove time and time again that you don't understand anything but powergaming.

Raven776 · Post by **Raven776** » Tue Sep 16, 2014 5:25 am #29059

1.3.2 - Releasing prisoners, locking down security without likely future harm, or otherwise sabotaging the security team when not obligated to by laws is a violation of Server Rule 1. Act in good faith.

http://pastebin.com/bduT7pFf

Security is always shit because most people's ideas of fun involve fucking with security and getting away with it. Assistants are always greytide because it's easier to blame a group than a person for every bit of grief on the station. One guy setting up grills in the hallways is a greytide, one officer accidentally harm batoning is shitcurity.

With that said, an admin should come through and delete all these posts (mine included) to get us back onto the thread.

Kuraudo · Post by **Kuraudo** » Tue Sep 16, 2014 10:23 am #29076

Steelpoint wrote:>You are the Head of Security.
>Whole bunch of Sec Officers, makes me warm inside.
>No Captain on board
>After gearing up, I head down to the Captains Office to secure his ID.
>Take the Nuke Disk as well, leave the Hand Held Teleporter

Several minutes later

>Hear people broke into the Captains Office
>Discover a Sec Borg, the Clown, Zoey Webb and a lawyer inside the Captains Office.
>Clown steals the Hand Held Teleporter, I arrest him as he tries to escape.
>Zoey orders the Sec borg to arrest me, it complies.
>The Lawyer uncuffs me, Sec borg leaves the room. I take the Clown to the brig, while smacking Zoey over the head with a Harm Stun Baton.

I dun goofed.

>People going ballistic over me hitting Zoey.
>Sec Borg chases me to Security
>I order the borg to stand down, it keeps coming.
>Run around the Armoury, nab the Ion Gun and shut down the Borg.
>Sadly it let about seemingly a dozen people into the brig, Zoey takes a run at me in the Warden's Office.
>AI (I think it called itself "stretching the law" or something) bolts me down in the Sec Locker room. Refuses to let me out.

Sadly it forgot I had a Laser Gun, I blast my way out. Security manages to clear out the brig, spend the next few minutes managing the public relations disaster, heal the Clown and whatnot, all is well.

>After healing the Clown, turns out I have appendicitises.
>Frack
>Get operated on, order the Clown and Zoey arrested for breaking into the Captains Office again.

Suddenly!

>NUKE OPS!
>Someone set us up the bomb.... outside the Armoury.
>Remember I have the Nuke Disk
>We clear out the Armoury's contents.

We valiantly fight off the Nuke Ops in the brig, no one ends up dying but Security makes a retreat to the escape wing.

>Nuke Ops constantly bombarding the Escape Wing with explosives
>Some disguised Nuke Op (Or rogue assistant) takes a run at me with some kind of incendiary weapon. I kill him
>Another disguised Op takes a run at me and the HoP, HoP is killed. Then a large group of Ops charges in against a large group of Security and crew.

I somehow manage to survive the ensuring slaughter, a Syndi bomb detonates at the Escape wing, killing off more people, most of the crew and ops are dead by this point. I get on the Escape Shuttle with the few surviving crew. Captain is dead alongside Ian.

>About to go out and congratulate the surviving crew.
>NUKE OPS JUMPS OUT OF LOCKER!
>He shoots me, and while I'm stunned he throws me out an airlock

SYNDICATE MINOR VICTORY!

Overall a enjoyable round, having a fully staffed Sec force was pleasurable. Was annoyed at all the grey tiding and 'weird' AI.

Same round from a syndicate point of view:

> Nuke Ops. GET DAT FUKKEN DISK.
> We cool off a little, share our TCs, and set up a plan.
> We're making three groups: One will blow up the armory, one will blow up the AI, and one guy is tasked to blow up telecomms. I'm the tcomms commando guy.
> Get emag, thermals, chameleon projector, ammo, energy gun, C4 among other things.
> Somehow the situation turned to shit on the station. Without any antag intervention. We are amazed.
> Everyone is geared up and ready, we fly to the station. I fly towards engineering maint.
> Still in space, i spot an engineer through the walls with thermals. Another syndie pal show up in space. I make a gesture telling him to stop.
> Wait for the engineer to pop up, rek him with lasers. Ded. My cover is still intact.
> Get in by solars, disguise with the chameleon projector and emag tcomms while armory and AI get blown. Shuttle is called
> Blow tcomms. Reports of a battle beginning near escape. I'm called to help but my energy gun is empty.
> Syndie friends tell me that the clown has the disk. I blow his PDA. They correct afterwards telling it was in fact the mime. PDA blown as well.
> At this point, we realize it's too late to recall the shuttle or blow the bomb. I recharge my egun but i'm forced to kill a crewman close to my location. Nuke ops pals are being pinned down in escape. One of them blow himself up in a desperate move to take people with him.
> Manly tears. Rage. I have no other weapon than my pistol. I want to go out with a BANG.
> Head to escape with minimal gear, my Stetchkin in hand and lots of ammo in my backpack.
> I fucking go Jack Bauer on the crew, every living man on my screen take four shots to the head.

> Standoff with a sec officer. I shoot him four time. He fires a taser at me. I'm hit and i collapse right next to him. I'm fucked.
> He collapses and die one second after i hit the ground. I get back up, pick up my gun, recharge and continue to kill.
> My last victim is the CMO. I hide with the chameleon projector as the round ends.
> Minor Syndicate victory.

Cuboos · Post by **Cuboos** » Wed Sep 17, 2014 9:19 am #29265

>Get tator chemists
>Objectives: Steal RCD, escape alive.
>Objective finished early into round, emaged EVA, no one saw, not even AI.
> Murder boning is for losers.
> Chill out rest of the round in Chemistry.
> Become cool bros with other chemist, we look out for each other.
> Virologist comes, goes to my dispensers.
> Uses ALL of my energy to make fuck tuns of Mutagen.
> Puts beakers into box then into back pack.
> Goes over to chemist bro's dispensers.
> Uses ALL his energy to make fuck tons of mutagen.
> puts beakers into box then leaves.
>

Spoiler:

^MFW^ Leaves with no "thank you", or something man! jesus...
> CMO comes in, says to make Cryo-ex.
> Chemist bro and i tell her we can't, viro emptied chem dispensers.
> CMO doesn't understand, tells us to quit complaining and just make cryo-ex.
> Wait for energy to recharge.
> The moment, THE MOMENT when dispensers are recharged, Viro walks in.
> Viro uses all the energy in my dispenser to make fuck tuns of mutagen.
> Viro uses all the energy in Chemist Bro's dispenser to make fuck tuns of mutagen.
> takes ALL of our plasma.
> walks out, says nothing.
> MFW

Spoiler:

> CMO Walks in, asks why we haven't made cryo-ex.
> We try to explain to her we can't, Viro keeps coming in and using our energy and he took our plasma.
> CMO doesn't get it and walks away.
> We assume it's a noob CMO.
> People keep coming to us requesting chemicals, we keep trying to explain to everyone our energy is used up.
> CMO comes in and asks why we aren't making chemicals.
> Try to explain to her AGAIN that our energy is drained and we have no plasma.
> CMO doesn't fucking understand what we're talking about, tells us to get back to work.
> Bro be all

Spoiler:

> Dispensers finally fully charged.
> We're prepared.
> Viro comes in
> We push and trip him and throw him out.
> Viro be all, "Dude what the fuck im trying to make buff diseases!"
> We be all, "You're using all our stuff!"
> Viro be all, "I need it for virology!"
> Continuously push him out.
> He runs off.
> We assume victory.
> He comes back with CMO.
> CMO tells us to let him make Mutagen.
> Viro runs in uses up dispensers to make fuck tuns of mutagen.
> CMO tells us to get back to work.
> Our face when >

Spoiler:

> Again, no energy, no chemicals.
> Botanists getting testy, they want mutagen for plants, could probably make better use of it than Viro IF WE COULD MAKE ANY.
> Botanists break out hatchets
> We use what little energy we had to make mutagen.
> Make 6 units.
> Put 2 units into 3 bottles and give it to botanists.
> They run off, don't come back for a while.
> Dispensers recharged, Viro runs in.
> We throw him out, he runs off.
> Comes back with CMO and THE FUCKING MEDICAL SEC GUARD.
> Viro makes up some bullshit story about harassment and death threats.
> Sec tells us to step away from the chem dispensers and let the virologist work.
> Our Face

Spoiler:

> Shuttle gets called, ten minutes left.
> Viro does it again, CMO comes in to make sure we let him work.
> Remember i'm tator.
> Spawn para-pen.
> Para-pen CMO after Viro leaves
> Bro sees me, bro doesn't rat me out cause he's muh bro.
> Drag CMO to Cryotubes.
> Lock CMO in Cryotubes.
> Shuttle about to dock, nearly recharged again.
> Viro comes in AGAIN, shuttle about to dock, Viro comes in to make more mutagen.
> Click Disposal
> Grab Viro
> Shove him into Disposal
> click engage.
> Clang! CLANG!
> The emergency Shuttle has docked with the station. You have 3 minutes to board the Emergency Shuttle
> me and chemist bro run for it.
> emag shuttle
> 10 seconds until launch.
> Shuttle launches.
> It's just me and muh bro.
> We such good bros we don't even griff after shuttle docks.
> MFW CMO and Viro were left behind.

Spoiler:

bandit · Post by **bandit** » Wed Sep 17, 2014 3:35 pm #29305

Cuboos wrote:>Get tator chemists
>Objectives: Steal RCD, escape alive.
>Objective finished early into round, emaged EVA, no one saw, not even AI.
> Murder boning is for losers.
> Chill out rest of the round in Chemistry.
> Become cool bros with other chemist, we look out for each other.
> Virologist comes, goes to my dispensers.
> Uses ALL of my energy to make fuck tuns of Mutagen.
> Puts beakers into box then into back pack.
> Goes over to chemist bro's dispensers.
> Uses ALL his energy to make fuck tons of mutagen.
> puts beakers into box then leaves.
>
Spoiler:
^MFW^ Leaves with no "thank you", or something man! jesus...
> CMO comes in, says to make Cryo-ex.
> Chemist bro and i tell her we can't, viro emptied chem dispensers.
> CMO doesn't understand, tells us to quit complaining and just make cryo-ex.
> Wait for energy to recharge.
> The moment, THE MOMENT when dispensers are recharged, Viro walks in.
> Viro uses all the energy in my dispenser to make fuck tuns of mutagen.
> Viro uses all the energy in Chemist Bro's dispenser to make fuck tuns of mutagen.
> takes ALL of our plasma.
> walks out, says nothing.
> MFW
Spoiler:
> CMO Walks in, asks why we haven't made cryo-ex.
> We try to explain to her we can't, Viro keeps coming in and using our energy and he took our plasma.
> CMO doesn't get it and walks away.
> We assume it's a noob CMO.
> People keep coming to us requesting chemicals, we keep trying to explain to everyone our energy is used up.
> CMO comes in and asks why we aren't making chemicals.
> Try to explain to her AGAIN that our energy is drained and we have no plasma.
> CMO doesn't fucking understand what we're talking about, tells us to get back to work.
> Bro be all
Spoiler:
> Dispensers finally fully charged.
> We're prepared.
> Viro comes in
> We push and trip him and throw him out.
> Viro be all, "Dude what the fuck im trying to make buff diseases!"
> We be all, "You're using all our stuff!"
> Viro be all, "I need it for virology!"
> Continuously push him out.
> He runs off.
> We assume victory.
> He comes back with CMO.
> CMO tells us to let him make Mutagen.
> Viro runs in uses up dispensers to make fuck tuns of mutagen.
> CMO tells us to get back to work.
> Our face when >
Spoiler:
> Again, no energy, no chemicals.
> Botanists getting testy, they want mutagen for plants, could probably make better use of it than Viro IF WE COULD MAKE ANY.
> Botanists break out hatchets
> We use what little energy we had to make mutagen.
> Make 6 units.
> Put 2 units into 3 bottles and give it to botanists.
> They run off, don't come back for a while.
> Dispensers recharged, Viro runs in.
> We throw him out, he runs off.
> Comes back with CMO and THE FUCKING MEDICAL SEC GUARD.
> Viro makes up some bullshit story about harassment and death threats.
> Sec tells us to step away from the chem dispensers and let the virologist work.
> Our Face
Spoiler:
> Shuttle gets called, ten minutes left.
> Viro does it again, CMO comes in to make sure we let him work.
> Remember i'm tator.
> Spawn para-pen.
> Para-pen CMO after Viro leaves
> Bro sees me, bro doesn't rat me out cause he's muh bro.
> Drag CMO to Cryotubes.
> Lock CMO in Cryotubes.
> Shuttle about to dock, nearly recharged again.
> Viro comes in AGAIN, shuttle about to dock, Viro comes in to make more mutagen.
> Click Disposal
> Grab Viro
> Shove him into Disposal
> click engage.
> Clang! CLANG!
> The emergency Shuttle has docked with the station. You have 3 minutes to board the Emergency Shuttle
> me and chemist bro run for it.
> emag shuttle
> 10 seconds until launch.
> Shuttle launches.
> It's just me and muh bro.
> We such good bros we don't even griff after shuttle docks.
> MFW CMO and Viro were left behind.
Spoiler:

my blood pressure rose reading that

cedarbridge · Post by **cedarbridge** » Wed Sep 17, 2014 3:50 pm #29307

bandit wrote:
Cuboos wrote:>Get tator chemists
>Objectives: Steal RCD, escape alive.
>Objective finished early into round, emaged EVA, no one saw, not even AI.
> Murder boning is for losers.
> Chill out rest of the round in Chemistry.
> Become cool bros with other chemist, we look out for each other.
> Virologist comes, goes to my dispensers.
> Uses ALL of my energy to make fuck tuns of Mutagen.
> Puts beakers into box then into back pack.
> Goes over to chemist bro's dispensers.
> Uses ALL his energy to make fuck tons of mutagen.
> puts beakers into box then leaves.
>
Spoiler:
^MFW^ Leaves with no "thank you", or something man! jesus...
> CMO comes in, says to make Cryo-ex.
> Chemist bro and i tell her we can't, viro emptied chem dispensers.
> CMO doesn't understand, tells us to quit complaining and just make cryo-ex.
> Wait for energy to recharge.
> The moment, THE MOMENT when dispensers are recharged, Viro walks in.
> Viro uses all the energy in my dispenser to make fuck tuns of mutagen.
> Viro uses all the energy in Chemist Bro's dispenser to make fuck tuns of mutagen.
> takes ALL of our plasma.
> walks out, says nothing.
> MFW
Spoiler:
> CMO Walks in, asks why we haven't made cryo-ex.
> We try to explain to her we can't, Viro keeps coming in and using our energy and he took our plasma.
> CMO doesn't get it and walks away.
> We assume it's a noob CMO.
> People keep coming to us requesting chemicals, we keep trying to explain to everyone our energy is used up.
> CMO comes in and asks why we aren't making chemicals.
> Try to explain to her AGAIN that our energy is drained and we have no plasma.
> CMO doesn't fucking understand what we're talking about, tells us to get back to work.
> Bro be all
Spoiler:
> Dispensers finally fully charged.
> We're prepared.
> Viro comes in
> We push and trip him and throw him out.
> Viro be all, "Dude what the fuck im trying to make buff diseases!"
> We be all, "You're using all our stuff!"
> Viro be all, "I need it for virology!"
> Continuously push him out.
> He runs off.
> We assume victory.
> He comes back with CMO.
> CMO tells us to let him make Mutagen.
> Viro runs in uses up dispensers to make fuck tuns of mutagen.
> CMO tells us to get back to work.
> Our face when >
Spoiler:
> Again, no energy, no chemicals.
> Botanists getting testy, they want mutagen for plants, could probably make better use of it than Viro IF WE COULD MAKE ANY.
> Botanists break out hatchets
> We use what little energy we had to make mutagen.
> Make 6 units.
> Put 2 units into 3 bottles and give it to botanists.
> They run off, don't come back for a while.
> Dispensers recharged, Viro runs in.
> We throw him out, he runs off.
> Comes back with CMO and THE FUCKING MEDICAL SEC GUARD.
> Viro makes up some bullshit story about harassment and death threats.
> Sec tells us to step away from the chem dispensers and let the virologist work.
> Our Face
Spoiler:
> Shuttle gets called, ten minutes left.
> Viro does it again, CMO comes in to make sure we let him work.
> Remember i'm tator.
> Spawn para-pen.
> Para-pen CMO after Viro leaves
> Bro sees me, bro doesn't rat me out cause he's muh bro.
> Drag CMO to Cryotubes.
> Lock CMO in Cryotubes.
> Shuttle about to dock, nearly recharged again.
> Viro comes in AGAIN, shuttle about to dock, Viro comes in to make more mutagen.
> Click Disposal
> Grab Viro
> Shove him into Disposal
> click engage.
> Clang! CLANG!
> The emergency Shuttle has docked with the station. You have 3 minutes to board the Emergency Shuttle
> me and chemist bro run for it.
> emag shuttle
> 10 seconds until launch.
> Shuttle launches.
> It's just me and muh bro.
> We such good bros we don't even griff after shuttle docks.
> MFW CMO and Viro were left behind.
Spoiler:
my blood pressure rose reading that

Way more restraint than I'd have shown. Chloral + cablecuffs into the disposal before he even finished messing with one dispenser the first time. Chemistry is holy ground and not for the admission of the unhallowed. Also, if he's seriously going through that much mutagen, they need to be demoted from viro, not encouraged.

Steelpoint · Post by **Steelpoint** » Wed Sep 17, 2014 3:59 pm #29310

Cuboos wrote:-snip-

I can understand shitty RNG luck on a Virologists part, and needing extra chemicals, but you don't fracking need that much Mutagen and Liquid Plasma.

I think the Viro likely did not know you can use a Dropper to put in one unit at a time, and was simply emptying 5 units into the beaker with a Syringe. Which would explain why he was burning through those chemicals fast as that was normal prior to the Viro buff.

I think I'll check the Wiki and emphasis you can use a dropper and one unit at a time, not a syringe and 5 units at a time.

Also, I applaud your restraint. I can think of few people would would not have reacted aggressively to such 'incompetence' after the first machine was emptied.

Cuboos · Post by **Cuboos** » Wed Sep 17, 2014 4:47 pm #29320

Steelpoint wrote:
Cuboos wrote:-snip-
I can understand shitty RNG luck on a Virologists part, and needing extra chemicals, but you don't fracking need that much Mutagen and Liquid Plasma.

I think the Viro likely did not know you can use a Dropper to put in one unit at a time, and was simply emptying 5 units into the beaker with a Syringe. Which would explain why he was burning through those chemicals fast as that was normal prior to the Viro buff.

I think I'll check the Wiki and emphasis you can use a dropper and one unit at a time, not a syringe and 5 units at a time.

Also, I applaud your restraint. I can think of few people would would not have reacted aggressively to such 'incompetence' after the first machine was emptied.

The sec officer was brought in more times then i mentioned, chem bro was almost arrested for protesting, there wasn't really a good opportunity to pull out another tator weapon. We suspected Meta Gaming.

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Wed Sep 17, 2014 5:10 pm #29328

I would've stuffed him into cryo with a cryoxadone+acid mix the second time he tried to pull that

Hellafied · Post by **Hellafied** » Thu Sep 18, 2014 2:00 am #29445

The day Sybil died. On a cold September night, Durkel fucked with atmos and caused the biggest space lag known to all speesman kind. (Imma kinda do this in a journal type thing.

It's been an hour since the shuttle was supposed to dock. We are all frozen in time, only able to speak and move one tile every five minutes, it was hell. All of a sudden, a big brown sentence pops up in my brain, it reads Stickymayhem: Go to medbay kill the miner. Everyone began to crawl their way slowly to medbay only to see blue words in our head this time Durkel: I'm in front if robotics, kill me So we began to crawl slowly there. Once we got there the blue words in my head where coming in and out so fast I could not read them. We start killing Tim Ebow slowly... then he just explodes... And explodes and explodes and explodes he is still exploding right now.

Tim is still exploding. The words in my head have slowed, most saying they where going to Basil. Whatever that is.
The CE begins shooting
Lasers that won't move, they just float there... Tim is still exploding. I'm beginning to won- NARAIE HAS RISEN Narsie is suddenly I front of me, but nothing is happening. Tim is still exploding.

It's been a couple days since this... Spees lag as the others are calling it, nobody is hungry, nor thirsty time just seems to stand still. I sand up slowly and try to make my way to sec-

(Connection closed)

Server has reset.

Post by **Fatal** » Thu Sep 18, 2014 9:27 am #29515

A story of superior engineering:

Join round, no engineers or anything, so I join as CE (about 1 minute in), setup singularity etc etc

Nothing going on, decide to upgrade some stuff, get nice things from science and upgrade the engineering SMES to double capacity and input

Then I decided, hey, lets chill the plasma powering the station from the singulo, as Im about to do so, bluespace warning from janitors office

I head to it, with analyzer and signaller, scan the anomaly, signal it, it's gone...or not, myself and the janitor get teleported to the teleporter satellite, one of my engineers and detective get teleported somewhere else (or outside it, I never saw them)

I'm like, welp, we're dead (because I wasn't wearing my hardsuit)

Then I decide, fuck this, I'm not dying, put gas mask on, set my air, grab metal, seal the 3 holes the teleporter satellite has, go to one of the air canisters, max the output and open it, then to the other one, open that to 101 KPA, within a few seconds the room fills up and I stop freezing to death

Then I rebuild the teleporter, throw the now dead janitor through it, jump through it, get healed up from the 95+ damage I had, get janitor to medbay for cloning, and then carry on like a boss

If only all CEs were so competent

bandit · Post by **bandit** » Sat Sep 20, 2014 5:40 am #29834

>AI
>Long shift, robotics starts making a fuckton of drones
>The drones apparently have a camaraderie fort going in maintenance, but I never get to see it
>Singlo gets loose
>Drones immediately swarm to engineering
>Drones build an entire containment field with shield generators blocking the singlo from reaching the rest of the station
>Mass cooperation and teamwork from the drones
>IT WORKS
>Cheer on drones in binary chat
>Rogue slime appears, drones all die heroic martyr deaths
>They will be remembered

Post by **NikNakFlak** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 2:07 am #30752

Because I hate doing
>This
>Have fun reading this story in paragraph form

Don't feel like playing anything in particular, so I set everything to never and set my preferences to get a random job. Round starts and I am the quartermaster! You are a traitor! Steal slime extract, escape, switch documents... Ok, so let's just get all the crates sent away and stuff. I start sending away the crates and Dalton, one of my cargo techs orders gloves. I yell at him that we don't need gloves but whatever. A new guy comes in, his name his Ol' Scruff. He is also a cargo tech. Suddenly two security officers and the captain storm in and stun me. Apparently, mikhail, the guy who I needed to exchange documents with ended up getting borged and confessed that I was a traitor he needed to swap documents with. Well, this sucks. I get taken to the brig by Jack, a security officer with a large spiky ponytail. I tell her I do not want to be borged and would prefer anything else. She ends up getting me loyalty implanted (does nothing) and sends me on my way after confiscating my PDA. I get delivered back to cargo, with actual freedom because Jack did not permabrig me. She even apologizes for arresting me and sends me on my way.

I'm back in cargo where Dalton, the old cargo-tech is now also a quartermaster. We resume work and Scruff is nowhere to be found. Suddenly when we are ordering some metal after I made the entire cargo lobby have light tiles, scruff comes back, covered in blood with Jack's ID. He says "Guys...I may have killed some people..." I ask him if he killed Jack, but I already know the answer. I rush at him with a shovel and start wildly attacking him for murdering my friend who made sure I wasn't permabrigged. Scruff uses a screwdriver and puts me down like a bitch. He puts me into flashing red but stops knowing I am defeated. He looms over me and we play it cool and talk before he heals up and leaves on his traitorous duties. I heal up and tell Dalton that I have to go after Scruff. I grab my shovel and head off into maintenance. I am searching around arrivals when scruff runs passed me in maintenance. I pursue him and get ready for the fight when pulls out a stun baton. I freak out alittle and the fight starts. By some whim of god, the first hit I get with the shovel knocks him down. I quickly grab his stun baton, and beat him to death right then and there. I tell Dalton over the radio that I have killed scruff... I obtain Jack's things, having avenged my friend, and deliver Jack's stuff as well as Scruff's dead body to the brig. The HoS promptly brigs the dead body for five minutes as I leave, feeling triumphant.

I then start the search for Jack's body in maintenance. I find little to nothing and start to give up home. I decide to check the cloner and find Jack's body there, lifeless and dead. I believed it was un-clonable so I grab the body, dress it in pajamas, and haul it back to cargo where I strap the body into a comfy chair.

Spoiler:

I then tell Dalton that I can't live without Jack and start writing a suicide letter, when suddenly Jack is at the cargo desk! She has all her stuff that I delivered to security and tells me that She is very grateful that I killed Scruff and avenged her. We talk and cheer and congratulate each other before Jack goes off to resume duty. Around this time the gravity generator is turned off by a rogue borg. I chase the borg away and watch as the CE starts it back up. I'm randomly walking down the hall towards medbay when I see some clown NPCs beating the shit out of two medical doctors in medbay. I take off their masks and CPR them before healing them both up in the scanner when suddenly...There is scruff, in nothing but pajamas, holding a pickaxe.

"Hello, old Nemesis.."
"Scuff....You're alive?"
"Hello!"

And the fight resumes, I have a screwdriver and a welder vs his pickaxe, my advantage is that he has lots of cloneloss. We fight and I accidentally weld a vent which makes me completely blind. He gives up on the pickaxe and disarms the screwdriver out of my hand and promptly stabs my eyes out before miraculously, beepsky comes up and stuns him as I'm almost dead. Unfortunately, I'm in crit and scruff waits it out and un-cuffs himself before finishing me off. My last words are "You win this round...Ol' Scruff..." He takes all my stuff and assumes my identity and heads to the shuttle. I watch intently as a ghost. Jack is sitting in the shuttle looking around, probably looking for me. The shuttle takes off and shit has hit the fan, there are people attacking people everywhere. But suddenly Jack spots Scruff posing as me and goes for the kill. Jack starts punching Scruff and scruff is punching back, but Jack gets Scruff in the flash and beats him to death with a stun baton. Another bystander doesn't seem to understand what is happening and starts attacking Jack with a saw. Scruff and I talk in deadchat about this amazing revenge circle going on. The shuttle docks with Jack barely alive and then Nar-Sie is spawned and everyone is killed. In the end, it went like this.

Jack makes sure I am not permabrigged despite me being a traitor confirmed by mikhail. Scruff ends up killing Jack. I kill Scruff in revenge. I am seconds from committing suicide when Jack comes and says hello, having actually been cloned. I end up in medbay healing medical staff that was slaughtered my clowns and scruff seems to have been cloned too (damnit security). Scruff and I battle again, but this time Scruff wins. Scruff assumes my identity and goes on the shuttle. Jack and scruff fight on the shuttle, and Jack is victorious, avenging my death after I avenged their own death the first time.

All in all, that round was a grief fest but this minor sub-plot between the three of us was one of the best rounds ever.

TL;DR

cedarbridge · Post by **cedarbridge** » Thu Sep 25, 2014 3:12 am #30768

NikNakFlak wrote:Snip

Dalton here. I never even saw the note because I was too impressed by the corpse in a chair. I'm also annoyed that I never did figure out where those documents I threw on the shuttle went. I could have sworn those were worth big points. Though Scruff swore up and down that he didn't take them.

MedicInDisquise · Thu Sep 25, 2014 9:45 am

The last traitorchan round had a blob happen as the round was extremely slow. Said blob wsa amazing. IF it wasn't for the viro virus pulling people out of crit, with the highest I've seen being 7-8 TIMES, the blob would've won.

QuartzCrystal · Sat Sep 27, 2014 2:58 pm

Just a fun story from way back, it's short:

Years ago on the forums people were talking about the holodeck and both me and Quarxink made comments about how we both sometimes like to log in as assistants and just shoot hoops. Immediately after doing so I get the urge to log in and shoot hoops, and apparently so did Quarxink. Without saying a word to each other as we both join (we both knew each other's common IC names) we head to the holodeck and shot hoops for a good 20 minutes until the shuttle was called.

It was great.