Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

[QuartzCrystal]

Bottom post of the previous page:

Just a fun story from way back, it's short:

Years ago on the forums people were talking about the holodeck and both me and Quarxink made comments about how we both sometimes like to log in as assistants and just shoot hoops. Immediately after doing so I get the urge to log in and shoot hoops, and apparently so did Quarxink. Without saying a word to each other as we both join (we both knew each other's common IC names) we head to the holodeck and shot hoops for a good 20 minutes until the shuttle was called.

It was great.

[IcePacks]

where do i even put this

>slight latejoin hos (my laptop fucking hates spessmen)
>boring shit happens
>break up a few fights, toss takato in the gulag, irritating the warden into leaving (turns out that was a lot of points i sent him in there for)
>more boring shit; more stuff happens
>make two ed 209's and a securitron; name them after eddy, alex, and wolfgang van halen
>more stuff
>captain's gun gets stolen; thief slips away
>make the biggest security decision i have ever made
>i'm going to hell for this
>may god forgive me
>begin the searchening; the captain buys it almost immediately
>code red
>tell security to start searching the crew while i set them to wanted; all but one comply
>security radio begins to become active with actual activity and correspondence
>after about ten minutes, the thief coughs up the laser gun
my memory gets fuzzy at this point but
>wizards shit all over everything

[callanrockslol]

> shitting around as assistant
> try to steal the RCD to trash the subverted AI but someone else stole it
> blow myself up trying to space IEDs so security can't prove that I still had them
> end up proclaiming myself too hot to handle and almost die
> shit around some more
> break into the HoS's office and start issuing my demands
> eventually decide to deliver drinks to the permabrig
> get caught and taunt my way down to the gulag for my BIG ESCAPE
> fail my big escape, become prisoner
> realize my card isn't set up and I can just leave
> friendly lizard is a changeling and fucking murders me, takes the card and escapes in my steed
> derps his way onto the shuttle
> walks onto an chair
> some genetacist straps him too it and turns it on
> it was an electric chair all along

I fucking died when he got so close to a flawless escape and just died there

[Kuraudo]

> Assistant Double Agent. Kill the botanist, and escape.
> I manage to make a false wall from botany maint.
> Show up in the back of botany, plant a camera bug, come back into maint and wait.
> PDA message sent: "Hey botanist, someone broke into botany by the back !"
> See in the camera that the botanist is coming. Show up, ebow is ass and throw a minibomb. Dead and gibbed.
> Come out of maint. A creepy laywer is following me. I suspect an imminent attempt to my life.
> Lawyer draw a revolver and shoots, he miss as i disappear into maint.
> Meet the lawyer in arrivals, shoot him with my ebow. Sec officiers come, tase my ass and arrest us both. We're dragged into the interrogation room.
> I admit that i'm a double agent, claim the ebow is the lawyer property, but don't tell about the murder of the botanist. Lawyer go braindead as his backpack is searched and reveal lots of syndicate weaponry.
> Try to pose as a thief which mission is over, telling sec that i'm not a killer like the lawyer. It works.
> Sec give me 5 minutes, make me promise not to harm anyone. I do.
> Escape shuttle is called because of constant destruction and fuckery, but the singularity eats the escape arm, and plasma fire prevent any escape from the brig.
> Ask sec to make me a spot in the security pod, they agree.
> Only Greentext of the round.
> OOC bragging about my skills

Spoiler:

> OOC put in place by the officers who let me in the pod

Spoiler:

[damiac]

Just a fun story from way back, it's short:

Years ago on the forums people were talking about the holodeck and both me and Quarxink made comments about how we both sometimes like to log in as assistants and just shoot hoops. Immediately after doing so I get the urge to log in and shoot hoops, and apparently so did Quarxink. Without saying a word to each other as we both join (we both knew each other's common IC names) we head to the holodeck and shot hoops for a good 20 minutes until the shuttle was called.

It was great.

Both got the urge at once? No, you metacommed on the forums, and ruined the round with your stupid shooting of hoops. BAN HE!

[Reimoo]

Some geneticist left their PDA out in arrivals so I picked it up and sent a message to the captain telling him he was a comdom. I thought nothing of it.

A few minutes later I get bwoinked by an admin telling me I inadvertently got the geneticist killed.

>mfw

[Saegrimr]

A few minutes later I get bwoinked by an admin telling me I inadvertently got the geneticist killed.

Hi.
That captain caught a ban for getting so pissed as to execute a guy for a PDA message. Seriously what the fuck.

[Cipher3]

Some geneticist left their PDA out in arrivals so I picked it up and sent a message to the captain telling him he was a comdom. I thought nothing of it.

A few minutes later I get bwoinked by an admin telling me I inadvertently got the geneticist killed.

>mfw

Either the geneticist did more to antagonize the captain or the captain is the one who should be getting bwoinked.

[Reimoo]

Saegrimr just warned me to be careful about playing pranks with the PDA. Regardless, I'm glad it happened cause that shit was too funny.

[Saegrimr]

I was just salty I had to pull up the gigantic logfile for the day to figure out where that PDA even went to see which one of those two were telling the truth. In retrospect it was pretty fucking funny.

[FredNodoor]

>be Honkilicious the clown
>your a tator
>Steal Plasma and nuke disc
>Decide to go only for disk
>Blow up the dorms for a distraction and emag HoP
>HoP dosen't notice the door has been emagged, but the mime does
>Oh well, he can't do shit
>Decide to emag telemaitnence to the captians office
>before i do that, throw supressor i cant use in the barroom
>Hack into the room and the captian is there, i take off my shoes
>emag windoor
>he dosen't notice
>wat
>try to steal his gun and he comes to life and tries to shoot me
>run out of there and HE DOSEN'T CALL SECURITY OR ANYTHING
>rush in there with a crowbar and beat his face in good
>ransack everything and no nuke disc
>fuck
>steal his captian gun and run out
>Detective comes rushing in as i rush out and with emag in hand
>he looks at me funny
>i just honk innocently and he fucks off somewhere else
>noone notices me barging in and i go on a shooting spree
>had to suicide due to a work call for a meeting
>dont care, felt like a champ

Felt good to do that and somehow get away with it

[Saegrimr]

Clown tries to slip engineer with his PDA, fucks up and engineer grabs it and runs off. Cue saxing around the hallway for a couple minutes untill the engineer slows down a bit for the clown to catch up, then drops the PDA right under the clown and slips him.
Engineer fucks up and doubles back and slips immediately afterwards.

HoP walks along and sees the last two seconds of this, both of them face down on the PDA.

Skelton Key exclaims, "DOGPILE!"
slip-- thud

[Psyentific]

Evening, Basil. Join as the Chief Engineer. Set up the engine, the HoP's office explodes. The HoP wanders into engineering as I finish up, throws syndie soap at my lolmagboots and walks up, e-sword drawn.

He misses, I don't.

I taunt him all the way to the singularity, because how do you even fuck up e-swording a guy.

[Braincake]

>60-pop Sybil
>Start as Engineer. You are the double agent!
>Grab a suit and make sure the Singularity gets set up
>Wire the Northeast solars, cut the SMES input cable
>Spawn a beacon and hook it up
>Go back to Engineering
>PA control guy only set the strength to 2, never actually turned it on
>Activate the PA properly so it actually grows
>Cut the containment field power lines and get the hell out
>Radio calls that the Singularity is eating Medbay and Science
>Some people don't believe it since it's fast and hasn't touched the west side or Central Hallway at all
>Go to the Northwest solars, wire them as well
>Go back to the beacon and drag it all around security
>Hook it back up to the newly wired solars
>Radio calls that Security is now being eaten, some folks still don't believe it
>Unhook the beacon and drag it all the way past Arrivals and Engineering to the AI Sat
>Break into the little backroom and hook it up to the AI's SMES
>Singularity eats through EVA, the Bridge, the Gravity Generator and finally the AI in short order
>Move back around the station in a full circle
>Security pod is completely cut off
>Target, some Miner, died somewhere along the line
>Break into the secpod and sail away to greentext

The only bad part about the whole thing was that I never got to see any of the destruction, except for a bit of Security. It was just following the radio calls about which part of the station was being eaten next.

[MMMiracles]

>you are the assistant
>decide to infiltrate security because 'why not'
>break into arrival checkpoint, snag a uniform, boots, and backpack, leave my grayshirt items behind
>go to hop, tell him ID got stolen.
>he believes it, gives me an ID
>i go gear up, never got implanted
>basically snoop around security, do nothing of real value. report into various calls from over the comms.
>sec snags multiple traitors during the round, I manage an ebow and emag.
>viro gives me a regen virus because "im part of security"
>open library door with emag, proceed to mass-print arcane tomes with emag
>distribute tomes to the crew, telling them to praise nar-sie.
>clown ends up starting a mini-cult with the bartender and a few assistants, dunno what happened to it
>emag cargo console for QM cause hes a cool dude, cargo officer starts giving me weird looks
>get bored near round-end, emag into bridge, find the comms console is logged in with capt-level ID.
>i know exactly what to do
>emag console, ask the syndicate for 1000 telecrystals so I can buy all the syndicate to-I mean lead them to a glorious victory
>bluespace artillery
>remember I have regen virus, therefore bluespace is nothing more than an annoyance
>proceed to spam message the syndicate a couple times, each followed by bluespace
>tell them im invincible and their bluespace means nothing to me
>cue multiple bluespace artillery, still on the ground stammering 'IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?'
>it stops, currently laying unconscious after a good 10+ artillery strikes, then suddenly


tl;dr: Grayshirt tricks HoP into thinking hes an officer, proceeds to get free syndi/viro shit and offered a position in the syndicate.

As a plan B incase an officer realized that I didn't belong, I filled the backpack and my internals box with armed mousetraps. I was kinda sad it never came to that.

[Psyentific]

>you are the assistant
>decide to infiltrate security because 'why not'
>break into arrival checkpoint, snag a uniform, boots, and backpack, leave my grayshirt items behind
>go to hop, tell him ID got stolen.
>he believes it, gives me an ID
>i go gear up, never got implanted
>basically snoop around security, do nothing of real value. report into various calls from over the comms.
>sec snags multiple traitors during the round, I manage an ebow and emag.
>viro gives me a regen virus because "im part of security"
>open library door with emag, proceed to mass-print arcane tomes with emag
>distribute tomes to the crew, telling them to praise nar-sie.
>clown ends up starting a mini-cult with the bartender and a few assistants, dunno what happened to it
>emag cargo console for QM cause hes a cool dude, cargo officer starts giving me weird looks
>get bored near round-end, emag into bridge, find the comms console is logged in with capt-level ID.
>i know exactly what to do
>emag console, ask the syndicate for 1000 telecrystals so I can buy all the syndicate to-I mean lead them to a glorious victory
>bluespace artillery
>remember I have regen virus, therefore bluespace is nothing more than an annoyance
>proceed to spam message the syndicate a couple times, each followed by bluespace
>tell them im invincible and their bluespace means nothing to me
>cue multiple bluespace artillery, still on the ground stammering 'IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?'
>it stops, currently laying unconscious after a good 10+ artillery strikes, then suddenly


tl;dr: Grayshirt tricks HoP into thinking hes an officer, proceeds to get free syndi/viro shit and offered a position in the syndicate.

As a plan B incase an officer realized that I didn't belong, I filled the backpack and my internals box with armed mousetraps. I was kinda sad it never came to that.

Glorious.

[peoplearestrange]

Spoiler:

>you are the assistant
>decide to infiltrate security because 'why not'
>break into arrival checkpoint, snag a uniform, boots, and backpack, leave my grayshirt items behind
>go to hop, tell him ID got stolen.
>he believes it, gives me an ID
>i go gear up, never got implanted
>basically snoop around security, do nothing of real value. report into various calls from over the comms.
>sec snags multiple traitors during the round, I manage an ebow and emag.
>viro gives me a regen virus because "im part of security"
>open library door with emag, proceed to mass-print arcane tomes with emag
>distribute tomes to the crew, telling them to praise nar-sie.
>clown ends up starting a mini-cult with the bartender and a few assistants, dunno what happened to it
>emag cargo console for QM cause hes a cool dude, cargo officer starts giving me weird looks
>get bored near round-end, emag into bridge, find the comms console is logged in with capt-level ID.
>i know exactly what to do
>emag console, ask the syndicate for 1000 telecrystals so I can buy all the syndicate to-I mean lead them to a glorious victory
>bluespace artillery
>remember I have regen virus, therefore bluespace is nothing more than an annoyance
>proceed to spam message the syndicate a couple times, each followed by bluespace
>tell them im invincible and their bluespace means nothing to me
>cue multiple bluespace artillery, still on the ground stammering 'IS THAT THE BEST YOU CAN DO?'
>it stops, currently laying unconscious after a good 10+ artillery strikes, then suddenly


tl;dr: Grayshirt tricks HoP into thinking hes an officer, proceeds to get free syndi/viro shit and offered a position in the syndicate.

As a plan B incase an officer realized that I didn't belong, I filled the backpack and my internals box with armed mousetraps. I was kinda sad it never came to that.

10/10 I thought I felt good when I pretended I was an engineer as a greyer (perfectly sneaking through the airlocks as people left), but that is just brilliant!

[callanrockslol]

Lemme tell you the story of Fat Eddie Fischer.

Now Fat Eddie, unlike what his name implies, was not a big guy, at one point he was almost a skeleton, but he's called Fat Eddie for a reason.

It was a boring shift, Security Officer Edward Fischer had just rescued an assistant from the demented machinations of the chaplain and was busy getting drunk off his ass in the bar, it was a slow shift. Pete payed his due by eating up all that kudzu over in escape and buggering off into maint to cause all sorts of problems down the line, that's another story for another day, but its important, because if Pete didn't clear that kudzu, none of this would have happened.

In that fateful escape shuttle hallway, something happened that would change everything, a Space Twinkie, a god damn ball of sugar threw itself out of the cosmos and made a choice to shake things up a bit, that Twinkie flew with the force of an immovable rod on a collision course with the singularity.

Down he went, that Twinkie flying on past into history, never did find out where it went off to, probably never will. Fischer was shocked for a moment, he just couldn't comprehend what had happened, as he should, its not every day that a cosmic Twinkie descides to say hello and blast on through you at leg height, let alone on a space station. He took a moment, figured it was just one of those days and decided to leave it, there was work to be done, gotta make the bacon and all that jazz.

But then he realized something...

HE COULDN'T GET UP!

No matter what he did he just couldn't do it, he rocked and rolled, grasped and clawed and nothing! There was just nothing he could do to get himself back on patrol and dealing out justice to the dregs of the station. Luckily for him a clown rocked up, honk honk honking his violin screeching, and soon sure enough that assistant he saved before and the shifty chaplain were there too.

They couldn't believe it, its not every day a Security Officer just falls down and can't get his ass up, luckily for him they were certainly the honest sought, and they saw to it to help him get up and on his feet. They certainly didn't have much luck either and not for the lack of trying, they tried alright, they tried pushing and pulling, stuffing him in lockers and bodybags, strapping him to roller beds and that was a doozy since they even managed to get it under him, but nothing worked. They were stumped, they knew that they had to get him up, but how?

They were out of their league and they knew it, so they tried something crazy, they begged and pleaded at the scientists, and the scientists set to work. They couldn't do anything either, they even tried to teleport him with their big fancy machine and that didn't work, they took the boots off the mans feet but they didn't move him an inch, they didn't even think opening a black hole would help get him around.

Now there was something shifty about that chaplain and rightfully so, he came out yelling and screaming, covered head to toe in a huge pile of hard sores and scabs, his arm sharpened to a point and bloody to boot. Well that chaplain must have finally gotten sick of the clown, and he sliced him up good, he took a swing at the assistant and was blinded for his trouble, and that assistant took off like just like a fateful Twinkie.

That chaplain left Fat Eddie alone and went on cutting up other folks, probably saw something funny in it, didn't see much funny when the assistant came back for round two and put a scythe through his noggin. Now that teleporter couldn't move Eddie, but it certainly tossed that unlucky chaplain around like a chew toy, straight into the center of a singularity. He wouldn't be regenerating his way out of that in a hurry.

Unfortunately for the assistant, he got filled full of holes by a trigger happy robot, that robot made its rounds like a doctor of death, shooting everyone apart with its personal laser light show, and all Eddie could do was listen to them scream over the radio as that borg took its time taking the place apart, one body at a time. It got to escape at the end and went after the one unlucky lady hiding in escape, it tore Eddie up something fierce in the process, not enough to kill him, but just enough for it to realize that he was alive on the floor there, and it finished him off as well.

Nobody knows why Fat Eddie Fischer was stuck on the floor, but it didn't matter, he was there to the end.

And that my friends, is a story you really had to know.

[Raven776]

You were fat as fuck and even lipozine and space winds couldn't move you.

It was a glorious story of Fat Eddie Fischer.

[Gun Hog]

>60-pop Sybil
>Start as Engineer. You are the double agent!
*evil stuff redacted*

The only bad part about the whole thing was that I never got to see any of the destruction, except for a bit of Security. It was just following the radio calls about which part of the station was being eaten next.

I salute you for being one amazing DA. I was the RD that round, installing a new AI when it hit Sci, I was saving someone in Xeno when it hit Sec, and joined the HoP at the MiniSat when you planted it there. We went to Engineering for a bit to find it gone, and Singuloth caught us inside the tube on our way back. That is single greatest use from the beacon item I have ever had the displeasure of witnessing first hand.

[cedarbridge]

>60-pop Sybil
>Start as Engineer. You are the double agent!
*evil stuff redacted*

The only bad part about the whole thing was that I never got to see any of the destruction, except for a bit of Security. It was just following the radio calls about which part of the station was being eaten next.

I salute you for being one amazing DA. I was the RD that round, installing a new AI when it hit Sci, I was saving someone in Xeno when it hit Sec, and joined the HoP at the MiniSat when you planted it there. We went to Engineering for a bit to find it gone, and Singuloth caught us inside the tube on our way back. That is single greatest use from the beacon item I have ever had the displeasure of witnessing first hand.

The only other time I've seen this done effectively was when Sticky did it with platforms he built in space and powered with a pacman. one such platform was built just outside sight range of the escape wing so the singulo flew right up to the docking arm and ate everyone there and then fucked off right before sticky jumped on the shuttle.

[Broomstick]

>cult round
>do some rnd with rd
>eventually robotic's durand-durand goes awol
>can't disable it because it has no beacon on it
>volunteer to attach it to the mech
>run around and eventually find it next to the entrance to fort cargonia
>attach it
>hailed as a hero by my pai and the rd
>get to the shuttle and escape successfully

Something else.

>geneticist
>cult round
>cult raids medbay and starts knocking heads
>hide in a closet
>witness a cultist put a dead engineer in a closet in monkey mutation room
>when it's clear go to the engineer and begin to clone him
>cultist comes in and begins gibbing bodies
>gibs engineer's old body, luckily he's already being cloned
>engineer successfully cloned, tell him to hide in a closet
>cultist comes in
>run to science entrance and close door
>beg science to open the biohazard shutters
>opened into one of the last havens on the station
>eventually cultist robots come in and kill me
>get to be a juggernaut
>go back into science looking for stragglers
>go to xenobio
>play ring around the rosy with some guy in hazmat clothing
>makes me think about life as a juggernaut
>spare him and tell him to stay

[Xhuis]

>Badger
>23 players
>Engineer traitor; assassinate assistant, steal plasma
>Get plasma from round start, time to find the assistant
>Set up singulo, break into captain's office and steal spare ID (which was left there by the captain and HoP)
>Buy smuggler's satchel, thermals, EMP kit; hide satchel at command hallway and put in the spare ID, keeping the EMP flashlight and implant but hiding the grenades in a cistern
>Turn off Inspector Johnson, break him and take the stun baton from him and put a cell in it
>Take sec encryption key from checkpoint
>Find target at Escape, buy him some 4noraisins from the vending machine and while he eats stun him and EMP his headset
>Repeatedly stun him all the way to the crematorium
>Assistant ded, buy emag and try to request more objectives via comms console
>Doesn't work
>Pray instead
>Get fourth objective, break into captain's office and break the case
Also, note by this point the power was out from the singulo disappearing
>DOORS BOLTED POWER OUT OH GOD
>Attempt to C4 out, sec sees it
>Quickly barricade myself in the captain's bathroom, thermals tell me that the entire sec force is there
>Say over radio someone stole my ID before shouting for help at the solars; three people left guarding me
>Start going through the rwall, repairing my flimsy barricade as it is taken apart
>They get through the barricade and arrest me, drag me to brig
>Realize I have nothing incriminating and swear not to do anything again, HoS releases me and calls shuttle
>Wander around, grab my satchel, and go to Departures
>Get a voice in my head saying my performance pleased them and to find a secluded place
>Go in maintenance, get 7 more TC and an explosive implant
>"Complete your objective, or take someone with you."
>Make up a story about wanting to become a carp hunter and talk the HoS into giving me the gun
>Go to a pod, 30 seconds before shuttle launch, reveal my Syndicate status and say that when the Syndicate raid the station he dies last
>Sail my way to victory
>Greentext

[Cipher3]

I didn't even know you could do that with tracking implants.

[AngryTurnip]

>Playing Scientist
>Security had been fucking with me all round, and yet the round itself is somehow incredibly boring
>Clown is very obviously a traitor
>In a room alone with the clown, I offer to help him
>Give the roboticist a few drinks in exchange for him to implant a massive bomb I'd made into my chest
>Give the clown the signler to detonate it, tell him the code word is "honk" which I'll say over the radio
>punch an officer and let him arrest me
>tell officer I have valuable information about the safety of the crew but will only talk if the HoS is present
>he takes me to the interrogation room in cuffs then searches me and goes to look for the HoS
>Finds the captain instead and brings him in
>"Honk"
>Nothing happens
>Try to bullshit for a bit, I'm still in cuffs
>Remember the HoP was in trouble earlier
>Say that I saw someone else transform into the HoP earlier so he's a ling
>They believe me
>Suddenly the interrogation room now has the captain, who brought the HoP, the HoS who ended up coming in to see what was going on, a Sec officer, and a random mime
>This entire time I'm saying "HONK HONK FUCKING HONK" over the radio, still nothing
>They somehow don't think the random HONKs I'm shouting in between telling my "information" is suspicious at all
>Mime takes my cuffs off
>PDA message the clown, he wasn't paying attention to the radio
>finally gets the message
>*beep* *beep*
>BOOM
>What was just supposed to take out a few sec officers ended with the captain, HoS, HoP, and half of Sec gibbed

[Kot]

>warden
>captain appears in brig
>I have an idea
>"Hey captain I need you implanted with tracking implant so we will easily find you if you die"
>he agrees and I implant him
>captain leaves
>I approach the console
>"One day while Andy was masturbating..."
>transfer WGW directly into captain's mind

Luckily he thought space gods were making fun of him.

You were sending WGW into someone and he thought it was admins?
This shit is 100% banworthy too, if you want to know. So please, stop hunting people here.

[cedarbridge]

You offered help to antag as non antag?

[AngryTurnip]

You offered help to antag as non antag?

Yeah, mainly just because it was one of those "Nothing's happened for 2 hours so we're just going to go ahead and call the shuttle" rounds.

[Kot]

It was before WGW was prohibited.

Overusing tracking implants is 100% banworthy.
I know from experience.

[qwert]

> chaplain tator
> put c 4 with signallers and wait until people pick them up
>hue hue hue
>Captain comes by
> So you want me to pick this up, so I blow up? I know this trick.
> Arrested.
> Ok, you open up your pda and we release you.
> No harmbaton?
>No
> No straightjacketbedcuff?
>No
>Actually open up them the uplink.
>Get chem/track implanted
>Released
>No harmbaton.Oh gawd.

[Pandarsenic]

> chaplain tator
> put c 4 with signallers and wait until people pick them up
>hue hue hue
>Captain comes by
> So you want me to pick this up, so I blow up? I know this trick.
> Arrested.
> Ok, you open up your pda and we release you.
> No harmbaton?
>No
> No straightjacketbedcuff?
>No
>Actually open up them the uplink.
>Get chem/track implanted
>Released
>No harmbaton.Oh gawd.

That's why you have to steal the wrapping paper and gift wrap from the cargo mail room.

[lumipharon]

Today I had what was probably the most fantastic rev round, if not most fantastic round I've ever had.
It's a long story, for a long round.

About 60 people on Sibyl, for some reason I spawn as an assistant instead of any of my job choices, but whatever. I deicde it's time for FASHION, so I potter over to the public garden, grow a few plants and make a leather jacket.
Sitting in the locker room, I'm asking the janitorborg on it's opinion on my clothes. I settle on black rolled down jump suit, and white midriff tank top, to go with my black leather jacket. Oh yeah. I then hear that the mime is flashing people; hm, odd.
I decide to make a stun prod, because fuck revs. While wandering around a bit, I hear some more reports of revs, then I see a hand tele portal in front of the kitchen. Now normally I don't walk into teleporters blindly, but on a whim I do, and boy do I get a surprise. I find my self in the courtroom, the captain is on fire and being beaten by the chaplain and some other dude, I scream over the radio for help, but the only person that comes is a botanist, that appears on the south side of the room via the same portal I did, so he can't help. I run over to the captain in tiem to see one of the revs grab his ID and bolt through the door. I take the captain's dead body off the chaplain who's still beating it and escape thanks to the AI.

As I'm dragging his ass to medbay, I hear several reports of flashing in the medbay, but fuck it. I get him to genetics, and they take him in after a minute and I get him cloning, while a few random probable revs are standing outside watching me. I'm hearing officers and other people calling for help over the radio now, but I chill with the captain in genetics while he clones, checking his body for stuff. Turns out the rev only took his ID,he left the spare ID and his weapons still on him, so I grab those and guard genetics. The HoS late joins and I tell him what's going on over radio, and he eventually turns up at genetics with a dead officer. After the captain gets cloned, the HoS fucks off somewhere, and I'm left with one egun against 6+ revs infesting the medbay. I then have a clever plan. one of the geneticists gives all four of us the same face and voice, and the deformed, brain damaged capain moonwalks out of the medbay without getting raped. A rev botanist then teleports into genetics, but he's in the monkey pen. I proceed to laser the shit out of him and take the hand tele. When I try cryo the sec officer however, it ends poorly. revs swarm us, the geneticists get caught but I manage to flashbang them all with the cap's sole flashbang and escape back to genetics. Now without ammo, and with revs smashing the windows down, I bail out, teleporting to the courtroom, and going into the brig, to find yet another hilarious situation.

I walk into the brig to find the last bastion of loyalty, the captain is alive and (somwhat) well, along with the HoS, CMO, HoP and CE. There is also the warden + a couple of officers and other randoms. Pretty much as soon as I arrive though, a crazy rev runs down the brig with a flamethrower, lighting everything up. Although he gets eventuall put down, the outer brig area is now fucked, and lots of people are hurt, so we retreat to the warden's office/break room. I brought a few medkits with me, so we patch everyone up fairly well, but the revs are swarming into the brig at this point. Fortunately, we had most of the weapons, so we were standing in the warden's office, lasering all the revs through the windows as they try to break in, killing several as they ran around like helpless chickens
.
Eventually though, they do eventually break in, and although we kill a bunch of them, as they try force their way in, we also lose some of our guys, and eventually lose the armory/warden's office, and are now only in the east part of the brig. Things are lookng pretty grim, we're low on weapons and meds, and revs keep coming. A rev miner is breaking the windows of the gear room ,and the CE goes out to chase him on his own. Mean while I'm standing at the window facing the warden's office, shooting revs trying to loot the armory. I literally kill 5+ revs here, just going back and forth between lasering and charging at the hos office. I've looted the hos's locker with the spare ID, so I have actual armor now, but eventually the revs rcd a door, and we lose first the CMO, then the hos and captain. The borgs also die at some point, bravely trying to follow their laws.

While charging guns in the hos's office, I see the CE outside, only thing is, he has the mining hardsuit on. And doesn't talk. HMM. After he hangs outside the window for a bit (protected by the computers) he moves to where I can shoot him, and I blast him a couple of time and put him into crit. the gear room is now a plasma fire, after repelling revs trying to get in via there, and now it's only me, the HoP (Reynard Lombardi ),some sec officer and an assistant (Katherine Roberts I think). The revs are literally screaming for everyone to come kill the last head at the brig, so I pda the AI, tell it to set the teleporter to arrivals, and prepare for our escape. Just as the AI tells me it's set, the revs RCD the other door and come in. We blast them down and teleport out, but the officer doesn't make it for some reason, so we're pretty much the only three loyalists left at this point.

We check the arrivals checkpoint, but it's been looted, although we charge our guns while we're there (me and the hop have e-guns, the assisant has a comat shotgun). we then move through maint towards cargo. I pop the door open, and find a rev engineer chilling inside. We exchange some gun fire, bu he escapes out. The sneaky fucker also steals the charger, and basically has us pinned down on his own, only he hasmore guns then we do.With N2O starting to seep in, we fight this one fucker for a good 10 minutes, for control of cargo, before he finally gets chased out of sight. I quickly repair the cargo computer who damaged, and order more guns, medkits and other shit.
The fucker had run off with the charger though, so with almost no weapons left, we go through maint to engineering, to charge while the shuttle is coming. The HoP however, decided to stay behind, and when I've only half charged one of my guns, the AI tells me he's surrounded. We haul ass back through maint to cargo, Reynard saying that he's caught over radio. We come into the mining area to find him cuffed by two revs. I tase them both before they can react, but don't have enoguh charge to do much else, so I go in to hack them with my hatched and prod. A nasty fight ensues, our assistant gets downed and I set myself (but also them) on fire with what turned out to be incendiary rounds from his shotgun. I manage to uncuff the hop and we beat the revs to death, and then head to the supply shuttle, where we have lasers, e-guns, medkits and armor waiting. The AI also manages to send a late join non rev cargo tech (Cash Richter I think, either that or he and the assistant were the other way around), so we're now four strong.

I tell the AI to turn off comms, but not the pda system, to make it harder for the revs, while still letting me work with the AI. He reports a scientist trying to steal the upload board, so I laser to in maint. The AI (FATIMA) The tells me that three revs are assaulting it's core, so it won't be able to help us for long. I decide that fuck the revs, the AI is a bro so we're going to save it. I tell the AI to set the teleporter to it's sat, and I get everyone ready for our DYNAMIC ENTRY. We all teleport into the sat via m handtele, where I stun the revv standing there, before the two other revs come through the door. Tasers are flying everywhere, one rev has a fucking fire axe, one is the mime. I get stunned and axed, but luckily riot helmet+HoS coat is robust as shit, so I manage to get up and restun the last two revs still standing, and we beat them to a bloody pulp.

We're all hurt as fuck, our assistant bro is lying with his headcracked open by the fire axe, but I manage to save him some quick first aid. Now that we'd saved the AI core, FATIMA reports that the upload board has gone missing, so I decide to card the AI. It configures the 2nd teleporter to the bridge, where the AI managed to get another new arrival (Clark James I believe) safely to.I teleport in, grab the card and teleport back to the sat, with the new guy in tow. And now we're 5 strong.

I teleport us all to atmos, and we recharge our guns again, and refill our oxygen tanks (There's N2O fucking all over the place). The carded AI reports another new arrival, so we head that way, moving as a group, cutting down every rev we see (one had the bright idea of hiding behind a welding tank). Our assistant had had been brutally fucked up by the fireaxe was now doing the brutal fucking, with fire axe and e-gun, his riot suit was jsut soaked in blood. Everytime we see a rev we'd stun him then just swarm them and beat them to death. When we get to the gateway, Jim Snarlarfakus, the newly arrived officer appears, so we pull him into the gateway room, which the AI locks behind us, and we heal and recharge again. And now we're 6 strong.

We decide to move to medbay, to clear out the revs, chopping some more revs up along the way. We get to medbay and Butcher everyone we see, taking a chance to properly heal, as a lot of has residual, or toxin (or even clone) damage. We start heading to the bar, and find one rev who we stun, but manages to get up and whip out his flamethrower, spewing fire all over the place. We kill him, but we're all fucked up again, so go back to medbay.
This time we head to science, we don't find any people, but I do get a laser cannon from R&D, which is neat. So we head back towards the brig, kill a rev, and find a xeno nest in the brig, although with 20 or so corpses from the brig seige. We loot everything we can get our hands on, kill more revs.

The team starts heading back south, armed to the teeth with scavanged shit, but the last revhead says fuck it, and kills himself like the dirty commie he is, leaving the 6 of us loyalists, victiorious. The after round report shows that about 2 revs survived, out of like 30 or so, and as far as I could tell, the 6 of us were the only loyalists remaining.

It has been an extremely blood, and really fun 100 minutes of rev. God knows how many people we killed (and I wouldn't be surprised if we killed some non revs), but damn was it enjoyable, having 3-6 people (+ an AI) working together as an actual team, watching each other's firing lines, supporting each other, keeping everyone healthy and all the good stuff. If only nuke op teams could do the same.

The dream team:

Reynard Lombardi: HoP
Cash Ricter: Cargo tech(?)
Clark James: Assistant
Jim Snarlarfakus: Sec officer
Katherine Roberts: Assistant
Lumi Pharon: Assistant (who spend most of the round as a red head with twin tails called Akari)

Fuck I can't remember who's who from the assistants, but both were great. I think Katherine was our guy from the brig, can't remember.


TL/DR: A few loyalists managed to claw victory back from the rev menace, butchering most of them in the process with great teamwork.

[Septavius]

that round was shit and YOU KNOW IT

[Erbbu]

Snibedi snab.

The best rounds are where you don't have to be super duper careful about killing the wrong guy because if you do you'll get bwoinked and then banned.

[InThePooPoo]

Let me regale you with the tale of Trevor Clarke.

Trevor was a Detective, working his first shift on the Space Station. Trevor is from Space Louisiana, so he is naturally an alcoholic, and his first thought is to get utterly smashed at the bar. Trevor only smokes Carp Classics, and another man walks in, who says that that is also his brand. This man's name is Kazuma Kuwabara. We spend an entire hour doing nothing but drinking and beating up women, because that's what drunk men who smoke cigarettes by the pack do. Eventually, however, Zoey Webb sets me on fire by breaking a bottle on me while I was smoking. Kaz and I don't take this very kindly, so we kick the ever-loving shit out of her until she's nothing but mush on the floor and the doctors have to scrape her up to get her back to a live-able state.

She never showed up at the bar again.

Eventually, Trevor got so drunk that the Head of Security had to drag him to a dorm and force him to sleep and reflect on his life decisions. Upon his awakening, Trevor had an epiphany. He would drink no more. He shaved his head and became a man of God. Unfortunately for him, an (admin event) cultist was spreading the word of a heinous Blood God. Trevor decided to challenge this cultist, piloting a RIPLEY mech covered in all sorts of disgusting devices. For the first battle, it was a fistfight in the chapel. The Cultist used trickery and deceit to defeat Trevor. Luckily, the Lord saw fit to send an angel to save him, and so he was healed. He made his way back to the chapel, now armed with a bottle of Coffee Liqueur. He broke this over another cultist's head, and challenged the one piloting the disgusting mech to a rematch. At first, he declined, but then Kazuma Kuwabara arrived on the scene.

"Get him with the bottle, Clarke!" He shouted toward Trevor. Trevor immediately sprung into action and started stabbing at the mech with the broken bottle. Sparks were flying, blood was spilling, but eventually it was not enough. The mech gripped Trevor as hard as it could, crushing him. The Cultist stepped from his mech, and set his body aflame.
Fortunately, however, Kazuma was able to give him a proper burial and last rites in space.
Kazuma Kuwabara was never the same again.

[Raven776]

I just had the best powergaming experience on badger, the server where a single person can dunk an entire crew...

>Start as CMO
>Geneticist fucks off to god knows where
>Chemist fucks off to the dorms to sleep
>Cryo is poorly set up but at least set up
>Figure it's time to prepare myself for bodies dropping
>10 bottles of hypospray mix, all set up for maximum, quick healing
>Hypospray empty in case I need to use something else with it, figure that won't happen, but assuming is wrong
>Gets later in the round, make combat stims of hyperzine, synap, DD, and tricord. Fifty units each pill.
>Make another bottle, give it to the captain as hopefully my chekhov's gun.
>Hear something absolutely retarded over command chat
>HoS: Captain, ziptie yourself and come to security if you don't want us to kill this MD.
>Oh no he fucking didn't.
>He didn't even specify WHICH captain honestly, and since one was acting captain from start, the other one joined in late... Neither had a fucking clue.
>HoS doesn't explain further.
>I sigh and get my combat stims, was equipped with a hardsuit to explore space for bodies because it was previously slow, and wander down to security with nothing more than my baton and a hypospray of sleepy toxin as my weapons.
>Get to security, follow the last monitoring console signature of my MD.
>Flashbacks to teaching the little fledgeling MD how to put on a medibelt and medhud.
>Wait for the captain to open the door.
>He opens first, gets lasered half to death, I stick him with a needle of hypospray mix three times and drag him out of the way. I then chug my combat stims and hurry into the doorway.
>Shotgun to the face, unconscious for a few moments, not really hurt...
>Wake up to captain barely standing, HoS coming out and lasering them again, clearly confused.
>Dose the HoS up with sleep toxin, baton, and flee through the grey-tide virused doors with the captain's critted body.
>HoS is chasing, captain gets up again, gets lasered to crit again. I dose him quickly with my hypospray and then fill it with more sleepy toxin.
>Kite the HoS who knocks me down three more times, but Synap too strong.
>Eventually the HoS is down sleeping, but a riot geared security officer who was on their side for some reason is chasing me now. He has more guns, actually lasers.
>I sleep toxin him once, not good enough to put him out, and then flee with the captain's critted body. I had been using the captain as a human shield.
>I throw the captain in the bridge and dose them with two more bottles of hypospray mix. The HoS and the captain are freaking the fuck out because 'i dun kno whadda do!'
>I sigh and wander into the hallways, chug the rest of my combat stims.
>Find the HoS sleeping in the hallway.
>Drag her to the bridge, cuff her to a chair.
>Go out, see the security guard!
>Taze with the HoS's spare energy gun I refilled, drag off, but uh... He was already cuffed, so I pretty much kidnapped him from some other dude. Oh well.
>Try talking to him, bring him to the brig where I rescue my MD.
>She beats. The everliving. shit. Out of him...
>Inlove.jpg
>Too tsundere to admit it.
>Anyways, drag his critted body to medbay, dose him a bit. he keeps trying to get out of cuffs so I stop dosing him and just debrain him.
>They debrained the HoS too, trying to borg.
>Don't really care.
>As his brain is just plucked out, a naked HoS walks in through the surgery door.
>She picks up a saw and begins hacking at my MD.
>Youfuckingserious?
>I taze her. Twice. Tell her to calm down.
>She begs for me to listen.
>Stands up, starts trying to drill my MD.
>Aaaand we're finished here.
>Baton her, slash her face until crit, and then cuff her.
>Dose her to heal her up, don't want her autocloning again, and then take the security guy's brain to robotics.
>Still have the HoS in cuffs, don't tell anyone yet because why the fuck would I want a peanut gallery in my medbay now?
>Ask her what the fuck she thinks she was doing.
>She starts talking to my MD, begging for mercy as she realizes I'm possibly the only competent person on this station and therefore the least likely to let her go.
>'I just wanted to be understood!'
>herewefuckinggo
>"I thought you'd be different from the rest, but just because I'm a lesbian..."
>Done. Done. Just fucking done.
>Muzzle. Straight jacket.
>Broken bottle over head.
>Done.
>Brain, talk to, stick the brains in the showroom because both of them just spouted shit like 'nigga' at me from their MMIs.
>Done.
>Get confronted by the OTHER captain, the one who's been in xeno, vaguely flirting with me.
>Too busy making combat stims. Come back later.
>Offers to bring me to xeno where she has two chem machines ready.
>I'm listening...
>Eventually get resituated in xeno where a whole new chem office is setup for my pleasure.
>Talk, teach the other captain mah secrets because why not.
>MD: 'HELP MEDBAY!'
>Sigh.
>Combat stims go in mouth.
>Egun goes in hand.
>Get out of science.
>Wander into medbay, it's dark as shit because three hour round and no janitor.
>Thermals McShitsforbrains tazes me from the dark and then starts trying to hack at me with a fireaxe, one hand wielded.
>I get up because synap.
>Full health because DD and tricord.
>Taze him, axe HIS brain out properly, and then wander into cloning to wait as my MD clones...
>She gets out.
>"BARTENDER MURDERED ME!"
>This dead one here?
>Yeah, that one.
>Well we're done here then.
>Spend the rest of the round killing carp for extraction of carpotoxin and vaguely tsundering the captain.
>The second traitor had a bottle of my combat stims that I gave to the incompetent body shield captain and didn't even chug them before the fight.

[Wyzack]

Yeah, did you ever find out why he was being such a complete shit? Or why the other sec guard was playing along?

[Blackiwhat]

I'd love to greentext my wizard round as Soap Salesman, but I' m afraid it'd be one-sided if I, the ringleader, described it. Was it fun for everyone else involved? Thanks to MrGlasses for giving us the stuff to pull it off - jumpsuits and the CentComm ferry, along with a shit ton of soap.

The gist of it, or rather my basic premise, was this: I distract the crew by selling soap - in doing so, I receive weaponry and the crew fights each other over it. Security has their hands full, and thus don't pay attention to the heads of staff being 'replaced' by my four apprentices via mindswap. It went exactly as planned.

From there, it was a simple matter of gaining allies. We practically raised an army. Of course, I was made a wizard by MrGlasses to carry out my gimmick, so there were normal traitors as well - their bombing and plasma-flooding of the station forced me to eventually call the shuttle.

A huge shout-out to my extremely competent apprentices, without whom this great round wouldn't have been possible.

I'm pretty sure we never actually executed anyone besides the heads - we held some chick hostage, I guess, but I polymorph'd her into an alien queen and she served us after that. Anyway, this was completely player-run, with the exception of the CentComm ferry and the massive amounts of soap. We could've obtained the jumpsuits ourselves, MrGlasses just expediated the process. Just goes to show that /tg/ might not be as shit as many of our players think.

[Septavius]

ce here, praise the one true god.

[Raven776]

So what, HoS was an antagonist.or what

I don't understand this.

Literally just being a dick. It was a slow round and they kidnapped my MD though.

And it would be metagaming to go 'lul, this guy is acting like a total antag (kidnapping, threatening death, and lasering the captain) but he's security so he can't be one.

So I dunked him and his (I assume at least slightly) metafriend.

Was still a good day.

[Arkraven]

Cult round
Thane braune the Telescience guy
set a send and return system up in telescience
Teleninja'd the AI in literally seconds
the minute I grab him, I get a giant "fuck you" from him before I send him into deep space.
make a dumb mistake and everyone teleports him back, remains carded rest of the round however.

My sides orbited the minute I did that.

[Wyzack]

>Late night Badger Round
>Sybil was down for a bit, so pop is a bit higher than usual
>Stickymayhem comes on, asks if we want superfuntimes round
>Has a vote, passes by 1
>Next round try to roll detective
>Get made captain, oh well
>Get a slew of centcomm directives from some guy named dave
>Says how he is our boss and totally not a syndicate, alerts are huge with run on sentences and no punctuation
>Says we should set up 4 singularity engines
>Also send Ian to space so they can pick him up and clean him
>Station is enamored with dave
>Dave fever begins
>As captain, begin to enforce dave's will
>Space Ian and the station nuke
>CE begins making a second singu engine in the arrivals construction area
>daves mate Angus come, totallynotawizard, he seems like a pretty cool guy
>Summon guns happens
>One of the crew points out how dave accidentally said he was at the syndicate base in an announcement
>>dave gets pissed, orders a lynching.
>Crewman is killed, debrained, put in a borg, blown, and then incinerated
>Ian is returned to us, he is now dark with glowing red eyes
>dave tells us to stand around ian with our backs to him, ignore anything he says and ignore the beeping sound
>Ian is going to activate in two minutes
>some of the crew shows up to enact dave's will, the CE is still building engine 2
>Fanatic crew is ready for dave's gift
>Ian saying how he is going to blow up and fucking kill us all
>Dont care, trust in dave
>Ian activates, massive explosion from a meteor thing he created that gibs most of us and cuts the station in half down to escape
>dave says that for our cooperation we are going to get pizza
>Dead crew are reincarnated as pizza ops
>No power in syndiebase, so no TC
>Grab syndiesuits, stun shotguns and pizza boxes
>Get teleported to station, op begins
>Open pizza boxes, most are empty
>FUUUUCK
>Only have two pizzas
>Go to library, librarian is reading porn
>Stun, cuff, forcefeed pizza
>Operator as fuck
>Uncuff and move on
>Feed random wizard in arrivals
>Feed other wizard in escape, remaining crew is mostly wizards
> Only have a pizza left, shuttle is about to leave
> Dave says that since the ops only brought two pizzas, he was gonna send us a big darkmatter pizza
> Me and one other op get on shuttle just before it leaves, other ops gibbed out of dispair, killed by wizards, or left behind
>Stage 4 singu "Pizza" Spawned on shuttle
>There is a botanist, nearly dies
>I know what i must do
>Brave the singu, pull his radiated ass out
>Singu fucks off, leaves shuttle
>Shotty, cuff, take off mask
>Force the rest of the pizza down his throat before shuttle docks with centcomm
>dave says he was our centcomm operator today, leave him feedback and hope we enjoyed the pizza
>Op sucessful
>10/10 round

[IcePacks]

OOC: Blackiwhat: Alec Glascock is taken by a crushing feeling of futility; sex follows but feels mundane, hollow. The scene feels to him as though he's in a fire escape watching the flames roast the masses. He kills himself around 5:00 AM.
OOC: Blackiwhat: Alec Glascock is holding his breath! It looks like he's trying to commit suicide.

[Raven776]

>Join up as shaft miner
>Go fighting moon monsters
>Buddy miner Aron Grar mines with me
>He stares in awe as I kill up to three moonmonsters at once
>I give him moonmonster loot that I don't need
>I do research in science
>I get all of the minerals the station will ever need, stock medical, and supply security
>Eventually get all access from some dude whose just being a janitor but stole it earlier
>Do even MORE research, start handing out energy crossbows
>Eventually the two security members come in to question me.
>The warden put someone in perma earlier for 'being a changeling,' then for 'being a rev', and then she let them go.
>The detective seemed pretty cool, but he was on her side.
>Immediately start drawing up sides where none existed.
>They ask me if I have a gun permit
>I bust out an advanced egun and taze both of them, shout 'THIS IS MY PERMIT!' and make my exist
>Clown blaps me in the face with an ecrossbow I handed him earlier.
>Motherfucker is no longer on my side.
>Get put into jail.
>Get let out of jail, they didn't even take my access.
>Go look up where the clown might be on the suit scanners.
>Theater room.
>Go there.
>Taze, cuff, start yelling some nonsensical bullshit
>Bolts drop in the room around me, AI hasn't had laws in a while, fear for my life.
>Start drilling out.
>Warden comes along with detective, taze one, then the other, taze them both again, start trying to disposal them, not making it easy.
>Eventually someone disarms me
>I am on synap, their tazes only last a moment, not long enough to cuff my majesty!
>I steal the detective's revolver from the floor, shoot it randomly at the two of them to waste the bullets.
>I steal the warden's taser, shoot THAT randomly to waste all of the charge.
>Spend my advanced egun.
>Get glapped by the ecrossbow the clown had which was then on the floor.
>Get up, puking, still not cuffed.
>Glap the ecrossbow into the crowd and at a wall
>Chuck it away and make my way into a SWARM of valid hunters, literally everyone on the station comin' to get some of this.
>Mining hardsuit, fully upgraded, with security jumpsuit beneath, and augged.
>Synap's still in my system, but not for long...
>No one has a weapon... Of any sort... Just fists and slips...
>It's go time...
>Punching left and right.
>Punch the warden in the face
>Punch the detective in the crotch.
>That fuckign scientist? Oh man, he's getting punched too.
>Their blows glance harmlessly off. ALL OF THEM.
>Still puking because toxins, but synap mixed with anti tox and tricord so I'm good for the most part. Not dying.
>Punching.
>Slipping.
>Recovering.
>Manage to orange health a few people who bugger off.
>AI has a hate boner for me because it knows I tried to asimov it.
>Eventually I am subdued by the combined efforts of a janitor, the somewhat competent detective, and someone who had cuffs ready.
>In cuffs, people still punching me, not even mad.
>Get dragged to security again. This time they leave most of my shit on me.
>Janitor comes along, is wearing the HoS's armored trenchcoat still.
>We shoot the shit, he tells them they should strip my stuff off of me.
>I could never stay mad at you janitor, you're still on my side.
>Eventually waltz out of the jail cell once some meds I was given kick in in full effect, go and grab an energy gun from the armory and taze both the detective and the warden.
>Cuff them in the security meeting room.
>Start trying to talk to them.
>They yell for help over comms.
>Everything is bolted, and I don't have my drill.
>Sigh.
>Strip them naked, start recharging things, and disposal their IDs and whatnot.
>Start trying to talk again.
>HERE COMES THE MOTHER FUCKIGN PEANUT GALLERY AGAIN.
>Everyone. Again. This time in security. Janitor, clown, a scientist.
>AI lets them in.
>Slapfight ensues, tasers, a wild ecrossbow changing hands.
>I ecrossbow the warden because she's hit me with the damn thing at least 12 times by now.
>Eventually get overpowered by the sheer number of people against me.
>Cuffed, bruised, toxined, and just overall beaten...
>No harm really done to anyone yet from me though, so I figure it's mostly on me.
>Waiting for execution...
>They all start to leave as per the AI's request.
>Slowly working my way out of my cuffs, hadn't even been strapped into the chair.
>Work my way out, just sit there as I tell my heartfelt goodbyes to everyone.
>It's been good, I just did what I thought was right and didn't flex when I felt something was wrong. It led me here, but at least I'm the same woman I was at the start of it all, a strong, proud, inderpendant green haired autist.
>Tears are shed.
>Everyone leaves.
>Ai's been syphoning the air from the room, I've been kinda half dead so I just put on my internals.
>The detective and the warden are stuck in the room, so I watch them try to beg the AI to let them out.
>Yeaaah, saw that coming.
>I tell them to go through the disposals, click the button for them, neither questions why I'm no longer cuffed.
>I float away through an open carp broken window in my hardsuit and wander around.
>AI has gone full rogue.
>Decide it is now my crusade to murder this AI. It is only right.
>I crawl pitifully back into the station, mend my wounds, down some anti tox.
>Print out an ion rifle, a drill, a laser cannon.
>Steal the EMP from the maint room that has one.
>Go to kill this AI, recruiting people who are all much, much, much worse equipped than I to follow suit.
>Drill into the AI chamber, draw my Ion rifle.
>OH GOD I AM AUGMENTED THIS IS THE WORST THING I COULD HAVE EVER DONE!
>Stunned, dying by lasers, crawl out of the way to not die...
>Try to leave, crying to myself...
>Get hit by one laser, die...
>Oh well, I've been kinda griefy, but it was FUN and every step that lead up to the climax had a good reason, I felt.
>Looking forward to explaining myself in a FNR.
>Round ends, AI was beaten, most people got away safely.
>Totally forgot I was an antag
>Not even mad.

[IcePacks]

>assistant
>PARKOUR
>die
>barely escape the gibber thanks to a boneheaded security dork
>cloned
>naked, confused
>head but airlock
>punched and told to shut up
>thrown into the cryo and forgotten
>escape
>headbutt more airlocks
>get my brain stupids cured
>fluke flops
>still naked when i escape medbay
>see a fluke flop (gun hog) with a SAW and shield
>disarm his shit and open fire
>he dies when he can't handle the lynch mob that comes
>medislut i disarmed on my way out runs up, starts trying to take my sweet gun
>you better stop or i'll shoot you
>she doesn't
>shoot
>run
>space the rabid-ass bartender
>escape on the shuttle
>fight rowdy randy
>get spaced

[bandit]

>HoS
>Clown a shit, find and brig him
>Wizard summons events, cursed katanas spawn mid-brigging, because the clown's bucklecuffed the katana appears on the floor
>Pick up the clown's belongings
>Including the katana
>I now have cursed katanas in both hands
>I can't use my hands
>FUCK
>Go to medbay asking for polyacid but no one offers me any
>Trudge back to my office, completely useless, then:
>You are the survivor!
>You feel invincible, as if nothing can harm you!
>Also a gasmask spawns
>The time has come... for MAXIMUM SHITCURITY
>AWAKEN FORTUNE KATANAHANDS
>Declare martial law
>Survivor officer buddy and I rampage around the station taking down teleported "trespassers," magic-toting "graytiders" and legit crime, him with his one katana, me with my two
>Katanas are stupidly robust so it works pretty well
>Outfit completely bloodsoaked now
>Secborg: "HoS please stop harming humans!" "CRIME ISN'T HUMAN, I AM THE LAW"
>No one can stop us
>Sail to CentComm, bodies in our wake

[IcePacks]

>assistant
>double agent
>get me and my target arrested, permabrigged (after much effort on both counts)
> strangle my target in the bathroom
>space her with my nifty uplink implant (fucking c4)
>start to escape with my nifty uplink implant
>borg busts in with an agent and some random guy he was arresting because he was flying off the handle (borg was tunderchief)
>get busted after some light saxing
>dragged to escape amid a xeno apocalypse
>stuck on the shuttle
>oh fuck i'm not gonna make it
>escape from my chair
>hop lets me out
>sax about the shuttle until 12 seconds, dodging two guns (ultimately getting shot with an ebow, fucking turncoats)
>win

added bonus
>tunderchief crying about how lucky i am and how dunked i was in ooc amidst a very clearly hurt butt

[Erbbu]

>usually avoid being a head because I hate playing rev as a head
>haven't played a head in months
>try CE
>antag frees singulo
>singulo fucks off to space
>captain actually listens to my input on whether or not we should call the shuttle
>he also wants me to evaluate the risk of singulo coming back

Dang. It was pretty great not being mostly invisible like I tend to be with other jobs. The chances of rev are really low anyway, I guess I'll be playing more heads from now on.

[Kavaloosh]

are you shitting me? being a head while a revolution is happening is the funnest the game gets!

[Erbbu]

Meh, oftentimes I would probably just get suckerpunched before the cat is out of the bag even.

[Spacemanspark]

I'd rather be the Head of Security, Captain, or Chief Medical Officer during a rev round, if I had to be a head.