Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

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bandit
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby bandit » Sun Nov 16, 2014 1:08 am #43804

>HoS
>Clown a shit, find and brig him
>Wizard summons events, cursed katanas spawn mid-brigging, because the clown's bucklecuffed the katana appears on the floor
>Pick up the clown's belongings
>Including the katana
>I now have cursed katanas in both hands
>I can't use my hands
>FUCK
>Go to medbay asking for polyacid but no one offers me any
>Trudge back to my office, completely useless, then:
>You are the survivor!
>You feel invincible, as if nothing can harm you!
>Also a gasmask spawns
>The time has come... for MAXIMUM SHITCURITY
>AWAKEN FORTUNE KATANAHANDS
>Declare martial law
>Survivor officer buddy and I rampage around the station taking down teleported "trespassers," magic-toting "graytiders" and legit crime, him with his one katana, me with my two
>Katanas are stupidly robust so it works pretty well
>Outfit completely bloodsoaked now
>Secborg: "HoS please stop harming humans!" "CRIME ISN'T HUMAN, I AM THE LAW"
>No one can stop us
>Sail to CentComm, bodies in our wake
"I don't see any difference between ERP and rape." -- erro

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IcePacks
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby IcePacks » Sun Nov 16, 2014 8:42 am #43837

>assistant
>double agent
>get me and my target arrested, permabrigged (after much effort on both counts)
> strangle my target in the bathroom
>space her with my nifty uplink implant (fucking c4)
>start to escape with my nifty uplink implant
>borg busts in with an agent and some random guy he was arresting because he was flying off the handle (borg was tunderchief)
>get busted after some light saxing
>dragged to escape amid a xeno apocalypse
>stuck on the shuttle
>oh fuck i'm not gonna make it
>escape from my chair
>hop lets me out
>sax about the shuttle until 12 seconds, dodging two guns (ultimately getting shot with an ebow, fucking turncoats)
>win

added bonus
>tunderchief crying about how lucky i am and how dunked i was in ooc amidst a very clearly hurt butt
OOC: Deitus: tfw RL porn doesnt sexually excite me anymore

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Erbbu » Mon Nov 17, 2014 1:07 am #43921

>usually avoid being a head because I hate playing rev as a head
>haven't played a head in months
>try CE
>antag frees singulo
>singulo fucks off to space
>captain actually listens to my input on whether or not we should call the shuttle
>he also wants me to evaluate the risk of singulo coming back

Dang. It was pretty great not being mostly invisible like I tend to be with other jobs. The chances of rev are really low anyway, I guess I'll be playing more heads from now on.

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Kavaloosh » Mon Nov 17, 2014 2:12 am #43929

are you shitting me? being a head while a revolution is happening is the funnest the game gets!
Confront them with annihilation, and they will then survive; plunge them into a deadly situation, and they will then live. When people fall into danger, they are then able to strive for victory.

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Erbbu » Mon Nov 17, 2014 7:15 am #43959

Meh, oftentimes I would probably just get suckerpunched before the cat is out of the bag even.

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Spacemanspark » Mon Nov 17, 2014 4:15 pm #44011

I'd rather be the Head of Security, Captain, or Chief Medical Officer during a rev round, if I had to be a head.
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby IcePacks » Mon Nov 17, 2014 4:54 pm #44017

Kavaloosh wrote:are you shitting me? being a head while a revolution is happening is the funnest the game gets!

Remember: license to kill.
OOC: Deitus: tfw RL porn doesnt sexually excite me anymore

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Steelpoint
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Steelpoint » Mon Nov 17, 2014 5:43 pm #44023

Rev is all right if your the Head of Security or the Captain. Most other heads of staff tend to get knocked out of the round very early on. Any head role can be fine if you survive long enough to arm up. Essentially if you can avoid dying in the early game rush your better established for a protracted fight.

From my experience, a Rev round goes through three stages usually.

Stage 1: Early game rush
1-5 minutes
In this stage the Rev heads rapidly increase their numbers and attempt to rush the heads of staff as they are still preparing for the round. This is often the point where many Rev rounds end. If the heads of staff/security can survive the early game rush, they are well positioned for the mid game.

This stage is characterised by mobs of underequiped Rev's rushing heads of staff and security with anything they have on them, security is usually not in a organised state yet to counter the revs and the heads of staff are cut off.

Stage 2: Mid game war
5-20 minutes
At this point the surviving heads of staff and rev heads are now consolidating their positions. While the numbers may vary at this point the heads of staff are mass implanting station personal and handing out weapons. Both sides will move to secure strategic positions such as cargo, chemistry, the AI or the research department to acquire better tools to aid their side. Implants, flashes and weapons are the resources needed by both sides. Depending on the situation usually the loyalist have the advantage since they should have easy access to any area on the station and have the default loyalty of anyone who is not a rev.

This stage is characterised by groups of revs and loyalists moving around the station securing strategic positions, as well as large scale fights between the two sides. More often than not we see siege type situations occur (Either medbay, security or cargo) as one side attempts to clear out the other.

Stage 3: End game attrition
20+ minutes
By this point both sides are severally depleted in numbers, usually there will be only a single rev head and only one or two heads of staff still alive with barely a handful of loyalits/rev's by their side. The end game is the point where the winning side is hunting down the last active members of the losing side to attempt to end the game.

This stage is characterised by small groups of people moving around the station, the station will be littered with corpses and discarded weapons, power will usually have failed by this point leaving the station in darkness. Both sides surviving leaders will be scrambling to secure resources and attempt to recruit as many by standers that are still alive.

Spoiler:
Image


Misc
When one side is losing, the game turns into a mid game siege scenario with the winning side attacking the losing side in their defensive positions. In most cases this results in the attackers eventually overwhelming the defenders. In rare circumstances the defenders might be able to break the siege and in even rarer scenarios the defenders may be able to hijack the mining shuttle and escape the z-level. While they lose they don't die, though I've only ever seen Security/Heads do this.

There's always a wild card, this is SS13 you know.

Typically the Brig is security's/the head's base of operations while medical is the rev's base. Cargo is a oft good alternative base for both sides.
Image

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Cipher3
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Cipher3 » Mon Nov 17, 2014 9:57 pm #44076

Spacemanspark wrote:Chief Medical Officer during a rev round, if I had to be a head.

Medbay is Rev Central aside from the bar and hallways, man. That place is never secure.
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Valerie Sinnet says, "Nathaniel Greene charged the brig with a fucking HONK."

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What you hear walking past people:
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Linus Johnson says, "Hey you know I got this game Skyrim last week"
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Weston Zadovsky says, "fucking hell"

The emergency shuttle has been called. It will arrive in 10 minutes.
Nature of emergency:
Coravin, just Coravin.

Beryl Nyuphoran says, "Fucking get out."
Coravin Vattes asks, "Please?"
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IcePacks
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby IcePacks » Thu Nov 20, 2014 4:51 am #44652

>be traitor
>cook a grenade
>throw it
>hos, target both go boom

nothing else matters, i love cooking virtual grenades
OOC: Deitus: tfw RL porn doesnt sexually excite me anymore

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cedarbridge
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby cedarbridge » Thu Nov 20, 2014 5:45 am #44662

Steelpoint wrote:.

You left out the part where Stage 1 is triggered by the CMO and/or RD gibbing where they spawn.

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Cheech1297 » Thu Nov 20, 2014 6:36 am #44667

>be roboticist
>you are the double agent! kill the cargo tech and gtfo
>plan to make borg army and take over the station
>bartender lizard emags in and bombs the fuck out of my lab and kills my co worker who is also a DA
>cower in locker and plot revenge agaisnt all lizard kind
>go to hop and join security after a long wait and team up with my target via pda
>gear up save an officer from the mime in perma
>save detective from the ai in interrogation got bolted in for some reason
>patrol a bit
>screams from perma clown is freeing the mime
>rush to perma find the officer i saved earlier down
>get tased cuffed and stripped by mime and clown
>they laser the officer and drag me to the execution room and buckle me to the chair
>clown points to the lethal injection syringe
>pls no
>say my codewords and they release me and let me join up with them
>me and the mime are dressed as officers clown has the hos coat time for the ultimate shitcurity team
>together we take down whats left of sec and go on a rampage taking down the hop and the captain
>at one point i laser my target in the brig
>go to the bridge with the gang
>use teleporter and turn into a fly and get radiated to shit
>clown blows a hole to the ai upload space wind sucks him up
>get sucked in too going forward and back until i hit crit
>mime saves me and the clown they drag me to medbay and patch me up
>suddenly nuke ops
>clown tries to subvert ai again me and the mime decide not to risk it and try to leave
>get sniped by an op from across the station on the way to the shuttle and go into crit
>code delta oh shit!
>mime bro drags me to the shuttle he is also injured and didnt check my backpack for my medkit
>mime puts me in the shuttle sleeper before he can do anything gets attacked by the newly joined hos has a firefight
>about to deathwhisper my pda code in hopes of an emagged shuttle so my traitor bro can live
>crew swipes the last id needed to rush the shuttle just as the nuke activates
>BOOM
>die

even though we got nuked it was a great round i had a ton of fun going around with the clown and mime i love teaming up with other traitors and not getting immediately murdered by them

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Xhuis
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Xhuis » Thu Nov 20, 2014 6:48 am #44668

>Done with a few engineer rounds
>Let's play engiborg
>You are the malf borg
>First time the AI ever has played as AI
>Crew gets caught up in a lizard vs. human race war, so they're distracted
>Start teaching him the ropes of malf, he gets the hang of AI quickly
>He hacks me, and we work out a plan: fortify the core and when he goes Delta, hide it somewhere else
>Put five airlocks on one tile and bolt them all
>Cleanbot spews out foam every other few seconds
>Disassemble transit tube
>VPR-6 joins the borg party, goes security
>Suddenly someone screams out "MALF AI" and mentions a hacked APC in Botany
>Bide more time by pretending to be robusted by a ninja; crew mass in science and the AI turns off the robotics console
>Open gas canisters and kill a few crew before moving out
>Kill a scientist and secure the spare Robotics circuit
>VPR-6 holds science until his untimely explosion
>Crew is already there but only people with space suits can make it across
>Pingsky is going ballistic
>Fires lit down south, thermite going through the airlock wall o' doom
>Blown up because a robotics circuit board was printed
>Feel bad the AI lost because it was new
>Look at the timer
>5 seconds

Very satisfying malf victory.
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Spacemanspark » Thu Nov 20, 2014 12:13 pm #44694

Cipher3 wrote:
Spacemanspark wrote:Chief Medical Officer during a rev round, if I had to be a head.

Medbay is Rev Central aside from the bar and hallways, man. That place is never secure.

Make polyacid syringes, chloral syringes, and sleep toxin syringes. Then run like hell. Fill your hypospray with some, or get a syringe gun. Research can make chem machines if needed.
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby FredNodoor » Thu Nov 20, 2014 2:48 pm #44707

>Be Secborg
>All was well
>Do the usual route of arrest and such
>All of the sudden NUKE OPS
>Aww shit
>Half of the escape route was blown up
>We were all crammed into a narrow hallway
> Scared that we would get bombed at this moment
>Get notified that Nukeop was in R&D
>SHOWTIME
>Use a locker as my shield as he tries to lazer me
>Note to self, lockers are great shields
>Oh well back to escape
>All of the sudden i see a nukeop in the window
>Yell at him with my taser out "OPEN IT, I DARE YOU FUCKER, OPEN THE WINDOW"
>Shuttle takes off
>We have a stareoff
>"No you first"
>Oh NOW you fucked up
>Bash the window
>He shoves it out and tases someone behind me
>MAXIMUM TASER ACTIVATED
>Shoot him with taser so hard he flies out the window
>Crew Major Victory
My only dream is a world without mimes

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby peoplearestrange » Thu Nov 20, 2014 5:06 pm #44733

Amazing! You managed to kill a nuke op, by accident, with a non lethal weapon.
>CYBORG'S ASIMOV CIRCUITS OVERLOAD
Whatever
Spoiler:
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This is my moment, what are you doing?!

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callanrockslol wrote:all you have to do is ban shitters until the playbase improves/ceases to exist, whichever comes first.

IM TRYING

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confused rock wrote:...its like if we made fire extinguishers spawn in emergency boxes and have them heal you when you put out fires rather than them being in wall storages...


Are you having a stroke

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Scones » Thu Nov 20, 2014 5:23 pm #44735

>detective
>get my seclite from a surprisingly cooperative hos
>begin making peoples lives difficult by prowling maint for ne'er-do-wells
>doctor tries to slip into maint via the door i open
>stare and close the door
>complete patrol through all upper maint
>move on to medical and science maint
>same fucking doctor standing around
>"NANOTRASEN MARSHAL, THIS IS A RANDOM SEARCH"
>"why"
>shoot him because i dont feel like reasoning during a code blue
>cuff and search
>tome and paper
>ohboy.jpg
>go back to the brig, heretic in hand
>chaplain begins Waterfest '14
>more cultists getting brigged
>"this is going well"
>chappy has soul shards captured
>makes his own artificer
>laugh it off and get back into the fight
>3 minutes ETA
>NAR'SIE HAS RISEN
>sec radio wtf'ing because we brigged so much confirmed cult
>its not over yet
>run to escapes
>hold out against harvesters with captain before we're both downed
>dragged around in crit for ages
>suddenly see chaplain
>soul shared
>you are a juggernaught
>TO THE SHUTTLE WE GO
>kill so many fucking harvesters
>chaplain constructs defending their master
>get into shuttle medbay
>5 harvesters
>"THIS IS A PRIVATE HOSPITAL"
>5 piles of dust on the floor
>shuttle departs

How I survived Space Station 13 as an Eldritch Punching Machine
plplplplp WOOOOooo hahahhaha

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Ricotez » Thu Nov 20, 2014 11:00 pm #44793

To be honest, that was a pretty shitty reason to search him. Especially because you're the Detective. Your job is to investigate crimes, not to play vigilante.
MimicFaux wrote:I remember my first time, full of wonderment and excitement playing this game I had heard so many stories about.
on the arrival shuttle, I saw the iconic toolbox on the ground. I clubbed myself in the head with it trying to figure out the controls.
Setting the tool box, now bloodied, back on the table; I went to heal myself with a medkit. I clubbed myself in the head with that too.
I've come a long ways from asking how to switch hands.

Spoiler:
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The HoP just toolboxes someone to death out of nowhere, then gets speared by a chemist who saw him murder a guy, then the chemist gets beaten to death because someone else saw him kill the HoP.
Tele-man somehow dies and gets its looted by an atmos tech who managed to use it to send two nuke ops to lavaland, who were then surrounded by several very angry people from earlier and some extra golems on top of it.
Captain dies, gets cloned/revived, lasers the guy holding the disk into crit to take it back.
Some idiot tries to welderbomb the AI hiding out at mining for no discernible reason.
Two permabans and a dayban, i'm expecting a snarky appeal from one of them soon. What the fuck.

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Erbbu » Thu Nov 20, 2014 11:14 pm #44800

Yet it often is the only way to stop a cult before you get overrun.

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Scones » Fri Nov 21, 2014 12:30 am #44815

Ricotez wrote:To be honest, that was a pretty shitty reason to search him. Especially because you're the Detective. Your job is to investigate crimes, not to play vigilante.

Erbbu wrote:Yet it often is the only way to stop a cult before you get overrun.


Yeah, I don't think it's normally okay to drop people who you find wandering around. It was really the fact that he was trying to get into maint earlier (A portion of it to which he had neither access nor reason to be in) and had clearly chosen this area as an alternative that made me stop him.
plplplplp WOOOOooo hahahhaha

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby cedarbridge » Fri Nov 21, 2014 7:29 am #44901

Cecily wrote:
Ricotez wrote:To be honest, that was a pretty shitty reason to search him. Especially because you're the Detective. Your job is to investigate crimes, not to play vigilante.

Erbbu wrote:Yet it often is the only way to stop a cult before you get overrun.


Yeah, I don't think it's normally okay to drop people who you find wandering around. It was really the fact that he was trying to get into maint earlier (A portion of it to which he had neither access nor reason to be in) and had clearly chosen this area as an alternative that made me stop him.

Act shifty, get shot.

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Scones » Fri Nov 21, 2014 8:54 am #44907

cedarbridge wrote:Act shifty, get shot.


My new motto.
plplplplp WOOOOooo hahahhaha

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Vekter » Fri Nov 21, 2014 10:04 am #44916

QuartzCrystal wrote:Just a fun story from way back, it's short:

Years ago on the forums people were talking about the holodeck and both me and Quarxink made comments about how we both sometimes like to log in as assistants and just shoot hoops. Immediately after doing so I get the urge to log in and shoot hoops, and apparently so did Quarxink. Without saying a word to each other as we both join (we both knew each other's common IC names) we head to the holodeck and shot hoops for a good 20 minutes until the shuttle was called.

It was great.

I miss Quarx.
Image
Image
Image


Spoiler:
Reply PM from-REDACTED/(REDACTED): i tried to remove the bruises by changing her gender

PM: Bluespace->Delaron: Nobody wants a mime's asscheeks farting on their brig windows.

PM: REDACTED->HotelBravoLima: Oh come on, knowing that these are hostile aliens is metagaming

[17:43] <Aranclanos> any other question ping me again
[17:43] <Vekter> Aranclanos for nicest coder 2015
[17:44] <Aranclanos> fuck you

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby WeeYakk » Sun Nov 23, 2014 11:37 am #45387

>Be HoS
>Informed that an assistant wants to become a sec officer by the captain who is doing HoP duty in lieu of us having no HoP
>Oh boy I can't wait to let this obvious as fuck antag kill everyone with sec gear
>Be a good sport and allow him in anyway to prevent muh metas
>Rest of the shift goes on fine
>Guy wasn't even an antag and actually does his job

I am pleasantly confused.
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Shadowlight213 » Mon Nov 24, 2014 7:56 am #45561

Spoiler:
Wyzack wrote:>Late night Badger Round
>Sybil was down for a bit, so pop is a bit higher than usual
>Stickymayhem comes on, asks if we want superfuntimes round
>Has a vote, passes by 1
>Next round try to roll detective
>Get made captain, oh well
>Get a slew of centcomm directives from some guy named dave
>Says how he is our boss and totally not a syndicate, alerts are huge with run on sentences and no punctuation
>Says we should set up 4 singularity engines
>Also send Ian to space so they can pick him up and clean him
>Station is enamored with dave
>Dave fever begins
>As captain, begin to enforce dave's will
>Space Ian and the station nuke
>CE begins making a second singu engine in the arrivals construction area
>daves mate Angus come, totallynotawizard, he seems like a pretty cool guy
>Summon guns happens
>One of the crew points out how dave accidentally said he was at the syndicate base in an announcement
>>dave gets pissed, orders a lynching.
>Crewman is killed, debrained, put in a borg, blown, and then incinerated
>Ian is returned to us, he is now dark with glowing red eyes
>dave tells us to stand around ian with our backs to him, ignore anything he says and ignore the beeping sound
>Ian is going to activate in two minutes
>some of the crew shows up to enact dave's will, the CE is still building engine 2
>Fanatic crew is ready for dave's gift
>Ian saying how he is going to blow up and fucking kill us all
>Dont care, trust in dave
>Ian activates, massive explosion from a meteor thing he created that gibs most of us and cuts the station in half down to escape
>dave says that for our cooperation we are going to get pizza
>Dead crew are reincarnated as pizza ops
>No power in syndiebase, so no TC
>Grab syndiesuits, stun shotguns and pizza boxes
>Get teleported to station, op begins
>Open pizza boxes, most are empty
>FUUUUCK
>Only have two pizzas
>Go to library, librarian is reading porn
>Stun, cuff, forcefeed pizza
>Operator as fuck
>Uncuff and move on
>Feed random wizard in arrivals
>Feed other wizard in escape, remaining crew is mostly wizards
> Only have a pizza left, shuttle is about to leave
> Dave says that since the ops only brought two pizzas, he was gonna send us a big darkmatter pizza
> Me and one other op get on shuttle just before it leaves, other ops gibbed out of dispair, killed by wizards, or left behind
>Stage 4 singu "Pizza" Spawned on shuttle
>There is a botanist, nearly dies
>I know what i must do
>Brave the singu, pull his radiated ass out
>Singu fucks off, leaves shuttle
>Shotty, cuff, take off mask
>Force the rest of the pizza down his throat before shuttle docks with centcomm
>dave says he was our centcomm operator today, leave him feedback and hope we enjoyed the pizza
>Op sucessful
>10/10 round


I was the crewman who got lynched. Then, was Angus. That round was absolutely amazing. Most fun I had ever.
My pov.
>start round as roboticist
>Dave starts making announcements
>Point out flaw, get ordered to be lynched.
>panic. Ask fellow robotics to borg me
>get borged. Try to run away, then get blown.
>Dave Pm's me and asks if I wanna be wiz.
>First time being wiz, so hesitant but then agree.
>Told to act drunk, so I end up stumbling over to the bar.
>complain about lack of bartender, assistant gets me drink.
>Ian is back at this point, so I go crowd around with everyone else.
>Ian says he'll try to aim explosion away from me, get hit anyway.
>Get knocked out, and die in space.
>Actually end up getting cloned!
>MD won't put me in cryo, so I'm retarded.
>Run around a bit before getting on shuttle
>pizza ops appear. One tries to space me (jerk)
>sing pizza appears
>get gibbed.
That was my first real admin event ever, where it wasn't just murder. Made Badger my favorite server. 10/10 Sticky you are awesome.
first post on the forums so I got no Idea if I formatted correctly
Last edited by peoplearestrange on Mon Nov 24, 2014 5:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: Fixed formating

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ExplosiveCrate
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby ExplosiveCrate » Mon Nov 24, 2014 11:29 am #45578

The hell happened to your post? Am I the only one seeing that?
i dont even know what the context for my signature was

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Wyzack
 
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:32 pm
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Wyzack » Mon Nov 24, 2014 12:49 pm #45588

Palpatine your text is fucking whack. Also that sucks that the pizza op killed you, we were under strict no kill orders, just operator as fuck pizza forcefeeding. Still cannot believe that me and 3 other guys survived shuttle sing pizza
Arthur Thomson says, "Since there are no admins I would loging with another account and kill you"
Caleb Robinson laughs.
Arthur Thomson catches fire!
tusterman11 wrote:Can you stop lying? I just asked you and you are was a piece of shiit on me!!!

Kor wrote:I wish Wyzack was still an admin.

EngamerAzari's real number one fangirl <3
certified good poster

Shadowlight213
 
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Github Username: Shadowlight213

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Shadowlight213 » Mon Nov 24, 2014 4:39 pm #45620

Yeah, I got no idea why it did that. I spent like 10 minutes trying to fix it before giving up, figuring it was just me. I'll take another shot at it later today.

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peoplearestrange
 
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Byond Username: Peoplearestrange

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby peoplearestrange » Mon Nov 24, 2014 5:17 pm #45632

Fixed it. You put the first Spoiler tag AFTER the Quote tag, but closed the other way around with the tags. No idea why it made that weird-ass format though...
Whatever
Spoiler:
oranges wrote:singulo.io is the center point of rational and calm debate, where much of tg's issues are worked out in a fun and family friendly environment

miggles wrote:it must have been quite the accomplishment, killing a dead butterfly

WeeYakk wrote:If you take a step back from everything watching the community argue janitor related changes is one of the most surreal and hilarious things about this game. Four pages of discussing the merits of there being too much or too little dirt in a video game.

Operative wrote:Vote PAS for headmin! Get cucked and feel good getting cucked.

TheNightingale wrote:I want to get off Mr. Scones's Wild Ride...

NikNakFlak wrote:Excuse you, I was doing intentional bug testing for the well being of the server. I do not make mistakes.

Fragnostic wrote:stop cucking the first shitshow ever that revolved around me.
This is my moment, what are you doing?!

Anonmare wrote:Oranges gestures at the thread, it shudders and begins to move!

Saegrimr wrote:
callanrockslol wrote:all you have to do is ban shitters until the playbase improves/ceases to exist, whichever comes first.

IM TRYING

Screemonster wrote:hellmoo is the mud for grown adults who main reaper in overwatch

Kor wrote:
confused rock wrote:...its like if we made fire extinguishers spawn in emergency boxes and have them heal you when you put out fires rather than them being in wall storages...


Are you having a stroke

bandit wrote:you are now manually GLORFing

MrStonedOne wrote:The best part about the election is when I announce my pick because I'm just as surprised as everybody else.

PM:[USER]->IrishWristWatch0: Yeah, im make it on but how im make the station to to sun and not go to sun

OOC: Francinum: Five Rounds at PAS's
"You are destinied to defeat Dr. Uguu and his 5 Robot Masters
(All-Access-Man, ShootyBlackCoat Man, ChloralHydrate Man, Singulo Man and TeleportArmor Man)"

I'm a box

qwert
 
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:24 pm
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby qwert » Mon Nov 24, 2014 6:24 pm #45642

> traitor engineer
> deconstruct chairs in pods
> bolt open their dors
> release singulo
> aim it to escape, so everybody has to use pods
> Pods are filled up with people.They are happy, as they escaped, they dont know, that they are not going to make it to centcomm.
> I ghost just to see the MASSIVE DRAMA of pods with more then 6 people in each with nonclosing doors, so everybody flies out of the pod.
> Massive cries of NOOOOOOOO, WHO DID NOT CLOSE THE DOOR. WHYYYYY, MY GREEENTEXTTT WAS RUINED BY DOOR, INCOMPETENT ASSISTANT NOT CLOSING DOORS
> topkek

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Donk Honk
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Donk Honk » Mon Nov 24, 2014 8:11 pm #45660

Typical Romance on Badger

>Plays-Human-Sports is in love with a Lizard man named Balms-In-Hand
>tfw friendly to Plays and try to help them find love, they do it without me and it feels great!
>tfw they keep mentioning giving gifts to each other
>Know nothing of lizard culture. What is it like a cat where you bring dead birds to each others doors or something?
>Plays sad because an error occurred where Balms is now Baums. A human. OH NOES
>Plays has an idea though
>Shes gonna get cloned, ask someone to perform brain surgery on her, then get cloned back to life so she can perform the sex change after Baums gets brain surgery to be inside her body
>Then they clone the body so its his own....and
Yeaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaah that's weird but cute at the same time.

>Try to comfort Baums in the waiting room while Plays is getting killed. Its a hard thing to tell someone that their partner has gone to such lengths to make them feel comfortable. So its easy to understand the sensitive-


HEY GUYS! IM POURING ACID DOWN HER MOUTH CAUSE THE BRAIN KILLERS AREN'T WORKING FAST ENOUGH


>God damn it doctor.....HORRIBLE BEDSIDE MANNERS

>Then a traitor blew up

And I lived happily ever after. The end
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Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2014 2:49 am
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby whodaloo » Tue Nov 25, 2014 5:47 am #45753

>Well, I don't really feel like playing this round. I'll obs-
>YOU ARE THE APPRENTICE.
>ALright, wiznard got me knock and mind transfer, let's go
>"We're gonna try and mindswap the warden and the HoS. Let's TP to the bridge"
>I'm not sure that's the best idea, but whatever you're the boss
>We teleport to the bridge and the boss mindswaps the cap
>somehow or another EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER FUCKING RUSHES THE CAP'S ROOM
>I mindswap a sec officer, mindless idiots beat my old body to death while I get up
>CE shouts that the Cap is the real wizard, I tase his ass and drag him to the execution room under the excuse "lol u da wiz"
>Take his shit and leave him in there sans tools and radio
>I fucking lost track of the boss fuck my anus
>Wander around for a little bit trying to find him, eventually hear calls over sec radio that the wiz is dead and in cloning
>Show up at cloning, officer has an atmos tech corpse that he says contains the wizard's mind
>"Dude I'll go get him gibbed no worries."
>The paranoid fucker comes along with me into the kitchen
>Hoping to mindswap him in the gibber room but the chef is there too so I can't
>Baton the officer and the chef, haul ass into maint using the CE's ID i stole earlier with the wizard's corpse
>Hear calls that they know I'm in a sec officer's body, hide the wizard in a locker
>Take off my radio, kidnap an assistant from the main halls with the taser, he yells out his general location before I can cuff myself and mindswap to him
>Safe because nobody checks the external airlock passage
>When we both come to I find out he's got a spray bottle of acid and a baton on him
>Choke his ass since he's cuffed from when I cuffed myself in his body
>With my new secret identity I go find the wizard's dead body, spray him with acid so he's unrecognizable and get him cloned
>Heal him up and toss us both into disposals, there's a braindead cargo tech who he promptly switches with
>Fuck around for like five minutes since the shuttle's already been called
>Eventually end up polyaciding the wizard's target on the shuttle and we both live to greentext
i love public logs
Spoiler:
SAY: Kolt Saudwell/RedMcCloud : Beacuse
SAY: Kolt Saudwell/RedMcCloud : ((im banned))

SAY: Zack Bodast/Logman : Hos
SAY: Zack Bodast/Logman : Can i bang you]
SAY: Zack Bodast/Logman : ]plras
SAY: Zack Bodast/Logman : R; I WROTE THIS SOMG FOR YOU HOS

SAY: Bryce Pax/IcePacks : I THINK I WAS A LITTLE HASTY IN GIVING THE CREW ACCESS TO THE ARMORY

Lusty Xenomorph Maid begins to clean the telescopic baton with the soap...

[Common] Garrett Larson says, "How do i shot pod"

OOC: Zoey Webb/Firecage : WHodaloo, why are you so fucking aggressive against me
OOC: Engineer Donkin/Whodaloo : i have no idea what you're talking about chief
OOC: Zoey Webb/Firecage : Cuck sucking dick wanking piece of cock shit head

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FredNodoor
 
Joined: Wed Sep 17, 2014 6:18 pm
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby FredNodoor » Tue Nov 25, 2014 2:38 pm #45811

Happened yesterday

>Be Tapdancing Jimbo, the tapdancing clown
>IT A TAAPIN DAAAY
>Decide to be a classy clown
>Pray for the best cigar
>Get a response... "...the best cigar?"
>Oh yes
>"You now have the best cigar"
>Smoke it
>ITS FILLED WITH CYANIDE
>Smoke and tap my way to death
>Tell the gods that there cyanide was shit anyways

Admin pls
My only dream is a world without mimes

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peoplearestrange
 
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2014 12:02 pm
Location: UK
Byond Username: Peoplearestrange

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby peoplearestrange » Wed Nov 26, 2014 2:29 pm #46147

qwert wrote:> traitor engineer
> deconstruct chairs in pods
> bolt open their dors
> release singulo
> aim it to escape, so everybody has to use pods
> Pods are filled up with people.They are happy, as they escaped, they dont know, that they are not going to make it to centcomm.
> I ghost just to see the MASSIVE DRAMA of pods with more then 6 people in each with nonclosing doors, so everybody flies out of the pod.
> Massive cries of NOOOOOOOO, WHO DID NOT CLOSE THE DOOR. WHYYYYY, MY GREEENTEXTTT WAS RUINED BY DOOR, INCOMPETENT ASSISTANT NOT CLOSING DOORS
> topkek

Image
Whatever
Spoiler:
oranges wrote:singulo.io is the center point of rational and calm debate, where much of tg's issues are worked out in a fun and family friendly environment

miggles wrote:it must have been quite the accomplishment, killing a dead butterfly

WeeYakk wrote:If you take a step back from everything watching the community argue janitor related changes is one of the most surreal and hilarious things about this game. Four pages of discussing the merits of there being too much or too little dirt in a video game.

Operative wrote:Vote PAS for headmin! Get cucked and feel good getting cucked.

TheNightingale wrote:I want to get off Mr. Scones's Wild Ride...

NikNakFlak wrote:Excuse you, I was doing intentional bug testing for the well being of the server. I do not make mistakes.

Fragnostic wrote:stop cucking the first shitshow ever that revolved around me.
This is my moment, what are you doing?!

Anonmare wrote:Oranges gestures at the thread, it shudders and begins to move!

Saegrimr wrote:
callanrockslol wrote:all you have to do is ban shitters until the playbase improves/ceases to exist, whichever comes first.

IM TRYING

Screemonster wrote:hellmoo is the mud for grown adults who main reaper in overwatch

Kor wrote:
confused rock wrote:...its like if we made fire extinguishers spawn in emergency boxes and have them heal you when you put out fires rather than them being in wall storages...


Are you having a stroke

bandit wrote:you are now manually GLORFing

MrStonedOne wrote:The best part about the election is when I announce my pick because I'm just as surprised as everybody else.

PM:[USER]->IrishWristWatch0: Yeah, im make it on but how im make the station to to sun and not go to sun

OOC: Francinum: Five Rounds at PAS's
"You are destinied to defeat Dr. Uguu and his 5 Robot Masters
(All-Access-Man, ShootyBlackCoat Man, ChloralHydrate Man, Singulo Man and TeleportArmor Man)"

I'm a box

User avatar
peoplearestrange
 
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2014 12:02 pm
Location: UK
Byond Username: Peoplearestrange

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby peoplearestrange » Wed Nov 26, 2014 2:36 pm #46149

whodaloo wrote:
Spoiler:
>Well, I don't really feel like playing this round. I'll obs-
>YOU ARE THE APPRENTICE.
>ALright, wiznard got me knock and mind transfer, let's go
>"We're gonna try and mindswap the warden and the HoS. Let's TP to the bridge"
>I'm not sure that's the best idea, but whatever you're the boss
>We teleport to the bridge and the boss mindswaps the cap
>somehow or another EVERYONE AND THEIR MOTHER FUCKING RUSHES THE CAP'S ROOM
>I mindswap a sec officer, mindless idiots beat my old body to death while I get up
>CE shouts that the Cap is the real wizard, I tase his ass and drag him to the execution room under the excuse "lol u da wiz"
>Take his shit and leave him in there sans tools and radio
>I fucking lost track of the boss fuck my anus
>Wander around for a little bit trying to find him, eventually hear calls over sec radio that the wiz is dead and in cloning
>Show up at cloning, officer has an atmos tech corpse that he says contains the wizard's mind
>"Dude I'll go get him gibbed no worries."
>The paranoid fucker comes along with me into the kitchen
>Hoping to mindswap him in the gibber room but the chef is there too so I can't
>Baton the officer and the chef, haul ass into maint using the CE's ID i stole earlier with the wizard's corpse
>Hear calls that they know I'm in a sec officer's body, hide the wizard in a locker
>Take off my radio, kidnap an assistant from the main halls with the taser, he yells out his general location before I can cuff myself and mindswap to him
>Safe because nobody checks the external airlock passage
>When we both come to I find out he's got a spray bottle of acid and a baton on him
>Choke his ass since he's cuffed from when I cuffed myself in his body
>With my new secret identity I go find the wizard's dead body, spray him with acid so he's unrecognizable and get him cloned
>Heal him up and toss us both into disposals, there's a braindead cargo tech who he promptly switches with
>Fuck around for like five minutes since the shuttle's already been called
>Eventually end up polyaciding the wizard's target on the shuttle and we both live to greentext

So robust, (wizard) hats off to you.
Whatever
Spoiler:
oranges wrote:singulo.io is the center point of rational and calm debate, where much of tg's issues are worked out in a fun and family friendly environment

miggles wrote:it must have been quite the accomplishment, killing a dead butterfly

WeeYakk wrote:If you take a step back from everything watching the community argue janitor related changes is one of the most surreal and hilarious things about this game. Four pages of discussing the merits of there being too much or too little dirt in a video game.

Operative wrote:Vote PAS for headmin! Get cucked and feel good getting cucked.

TheNightingale wrote:I want to get off Mr. Scones's Wild Ride...

NikNakFlak wrote:Excuse you, I was doing intentional bug testing for the well being of the server. I do not make mistakes.

Fragnostic wrote:stop cucking the first shitshow ever that revolved around me.
This is my moment, what are you doing?!

Anonmare wrote:Oranges gestures at the thread, it shudders and begins to move!

Saegrimr wrote:
callanrockslol wrote:all you have to do is ban shitters until the playbase improves/ceases to exist, whichever comes first.

IM TRYING

Screemonster wrote:hellmoo is the mud for grown adults who main reaper in overwatch

Kor wrote:
confused rock wrote:...its like if we made fire extinguishers spawn in emergency boxes and have them heal you when you put out fires rather than them being in wall storages...


Are you having a stroke

bandit wrote:you are now manually GLORFing

MrStonedOne wrote:The best part about the election is when I announce my pick because I'm just as surprised as everybody else.

PM:[USER]->IrishWristWatch0: Yeah, im make it on but how im make the station to to sun and not go to sun

OOC: Francinum: Five Rounds at PAS's
"You are destinied to defeat Dr. Uguu and his 5 Robot Masters
(All-Access-Man, ShootyBlackCoat Man, ChloralHydrate Man, Singulo Man and TeleportArmor Man)"

I'm a box

Jacough
 
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 2:24 pm
Byond Username: Jacough

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Jacough » Wed Nov 26, 2014 9:53 pm #46242

> Playing clown on Badger named "Tickle Shits"
> Just walking around, exploring (first time on Asteroid Station)
> Pass by cafe
> Crew's sitting down there having breakfast
> Chef's put out a ton of meals
> Join them
> Decide to clown around a bit, "accidentally" stabbing myself in the eyes with a fork while trying to eat eggs, shoving spaghetti in my pockets, emoting shoving hotdogs down my pants, and putting on the poncho and sombrero, grabbing the violin and playing some ragtime music for the group (I would have played Mariachi music but I don't know the code for any)
> Bartender also puts some music on the piano
> He's ranting about commies, don't pay much attention
> After the meal the bartender throws a pipebomb at the table, breaching the hull, setting people on fire, and I think killing someone
> He starts opening fire on everyone with a stetchkin while screaming about commies
> Run away while screaming that the bartender is "mowing down Pinko fucks"
> Fast forward to the end of the round
> Get to the escape shuttle
> Someone brings in the traitor bartender
> He's got severe cloning defects, brain damage, and he's straight jacketed and tied to a gurney
> He's yelling shit about freedom ("GUNS AMB[sic] FREEDOM NOT BEARS AND VODKA") and screaming lyrics from random patriot songs ("AND I'M PROUD TO BE AN AMERICAN WHERE AT LEAST I KNOW I'M FREE")
> Spend the time till shuttle launch dragging him around the shuttle brig slipping him on my PDA while laughing my ass off

His name was Smitty something and he was the best traitor I've seen in a long time
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qwert
 
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:24 pm
Byond Username: Ohlos

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby qwert » Thu Nov 27, 2014 5:34 pm #46437

> you are atmos tech
> no potatery
>Begin building ten out of five stars deluxe hotel in space ( metal foam walls. unanchored windows and coldness of space for extra safety of vip customers )
> Actually other engineers and atmos tehc join up
>Only clown is top customer, others dont have refined enough taste to enjoy luxury life
> Find captain, while building this
> Give captains id to clown
> Allaccessclownstation thirteen
> Atmostech makes it habitable
> Lots of customers now
> Shuttle call
> Cowards flee
> The most refined gentlemen enjoy luxury to the limit, until shuttle smashes the hotel 10/5 stars
> Awesum

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peoplearestrange
 
Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2014 12:02 pm
Location: UK
Byond Username: Peoplearestrange

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby peoplearestrange » Fri Nov 28, 2014 1:53 pm #46660

>Roll for Roboticst, get Medical
>Shit
>You are tator, swap documents
>Fine whatever, go to patient room, PDA lawyer (who I have to swap documents with) and order a sydni surplus crate.
>Start to unpack crate, some useful stuff, fucking power sink thats too big for back-pack.
>CMO walks into room
"Errrrrrrr"
>Suddenly geneticist behind CMO knocks him down
>Fuck this, I'm otter here.
>Meet lawyer in libary, say I've been discovered so make it quick
>Swap documents smoothly, just papers so no funny business, actually friendly tator.
>Go back to patient room to see CMO's stuff on the floor and no body... huh, well whatever.
>take power sink and rest of stuff to maintenance to try to dump some stuff.
>Meet other medic in maintenance as I drop the power sink into a locker
> MFW "RAMONA FLOWERS HAS A POWER SINK!"
>Sax to arrivals dodgin bebsky in a locker, dump everything and go to turn myself in.
>MFW realise put my finger prints all over power sink (which sec now has).
HoS:"PERMA HER!"
"Wait! I was forced by the syndicate to work for them, they said they'd kill my cat if I didn't!"
>Long rambling rubbish in interrogation with tator lawyer trying to help me out.
>HoS then has the idea to set up a SS (yeah, really) or Syndicate Squad, who are caught syndicates that will go around busting other criminals in exchange for not being perma'd/executed. Right ok...
>Captain comes in and approves, right.
>SS contains: some absolute nutter, a ling and me.
>Captain gives us AAA
> we split up and its at this point I realise I have a syndicate earpiece I still haven't used on my head set. Attach it to see if anyone else is on
":h anyone else on this thing?"
MFW Captain "I am"
>Captain needs the CE dead, I ask to get me out of the SS and change my identity using genetics and a voice changer I have in return.
>Find CE in engineering lobby, parapen and call over sydi comms for captain to come get his prey.
>become some random engineer and go pick up my hidden documents and stuff from arrivals.
>Go to meet the captain
>SUDDENLY SINGLO ON BRIDGE! (BoH I'm guessing).
>Shuttle is called, I grab a hardsuit and head to the pods.
>Pods full, so use the 2 pens and microlaser I have left to stab some random out of the shuttle (I think it was actually the other medic that called me out at the start). Unfortunately HoS comes around (not reconsigning me though) and tases us both telling us to calm down.
>Pod leaves, didn't have time to strap in.
>Oh well no greentext.

Everyone in OOC: GOD CAPTAIN WAS A COMPLETE SHITLER/IDIOT THAT ROUND

All our faces when Capitan was ling for 90% of the round. (also apparently the ling that killed the CMO). That really made the round for me (plus technically saving my ass twice). Syndicate comms, best tool = other traitors.
Whatever
Spoiler:
oranges wrote:singulo.io is the center point of rational and calm debate, where much of tg's issues are worked out in a fun and family friendly environment

miggles wrote:it must have been quite the accomplishment, killing a dead butterfly

WeeYakk wrote:If you take a step back from everything watching the community argue janitor related changes is one of the most surreal and hilarious things about this game. Four pages of discussing the merits of there being too much or too little dirt in a video game.

Operative wrote:Vote PAS for headmin! Get cucked and feel good getting cucked.

TheNightingale wrote:I want to get off Mr. Scones's Wild Ride...

NikNakFlak wrote:Excuse you, I was doing intentional bug testing for the well being of the server. I do not make mistakes.

Fragnostic wrote:stop cucking the first shitshow ever that revolved around me.
This is my moment, what are you doing?!

Anonmare wrote:Oranges gestures at the thread, it shudders and begins to move!

Saegrimr wrote:
callanrockslol wrote:all you have to do is ban shitters until the playbase improves/ceases to exist, whichever comes first.

IM TRYING

Screemonster wrote:hellmoo is the mud for grown adults who main reaper in overwatch

Kor wrote:
confused rock wrote:...its like if we made fire extinguishers spawn in emergency boxes and have them heal you when you put out fires rather than them being in wall storages...


Are you having a stroke

bandit wrote:you are now manually GLORFing

MrStonedOne wrote:The best part about the election is when I announce my pick because I'm just as surprised as everybody else.

PM:[USER]->IrishWristWatch0: Yeah, im make it on but how im make the station to to sun and not go to sun

OOC: Francinum: Five Rounds at PAS's
"You are destinied to defeat Dr. Uguu and his 5 Robot Masters
(All-Access-Man, ShootyBlackCoat Man, ChloralHydrate Man, Singulo Man and TeleportArmor Man)"

I'm a box

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Wyzack
 
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:32 pm
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Wyzack » Fri Nov 28, 2014 3:48 pm #46677

The syndiesquad is a hilarious idea, would be especially fun with some admin spawned cultists or nuke ops. Like a good movie plotline.
Arthur Thomson says, "Since there are no admins I would loging with another account and kill you"
Caleb Robinson laughs.
Arthur Thomson catches fire!
tusterman11 wrote:Can you stop lying? I just asked you and you are was a piece of shiit on me!!!

Kor wrote:I wish Wyzack was still an admin.

EngamerAzari's real number one fangirl <3
certified good poster

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Miauw
 
Joined: Sat Apr 19, 2014 11:23 am
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Miauw » Fri Nov 28, 2014 9:42 pm #46743

qwert wrote:> traitor engineer
> deconstruct chairs in pods
> bolt open their dors
> release singulo
> aim it to escape, so everybody has to use pods
> Pods are filled up with people.They are happy, as they escaped, they dont know, that they are not going to make it to centcomm.
> I ghost just to see the MASSIVE DRAMA of pods with more then 6 people in each with nonclosing doors, so everybody flies out of the pod.
> Massive cries of NOOOOOOOO, WHO DID NOT CLOSE THE DOOR. WHYYYYY, MY GREEENTEXTTT WAS RUINED BY DOOR, INCOMPETENT ASSISTANT NOT CLOSING DOORS
> topkek

my sides fell out of the pod

E:
Also I think syndicate surplus crates are a success if they create rounds like that.
<wb> For one, the spaghetti is killing me. It's everywhere in food code, and makes it harder to clean those up.

<Tobba> I stared into BYOND and it farted

qwert
 
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:24 pm
Byond Username: Ohlos

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby qwert » Fri Nov 28, 2014 10:39 pm #46750

> check ss 13 servuhs
> warhammer 40 k servuh with 18 maens
> lets try diz
> Join
> Lord commander
> Hm, i have biotics panel, lets click plasma gun.
> ( You hear the twist of metal, as plasma gun slides out of your hand)
>Oh gawd, wow
>Secure the nuke disk
>Hear cries of Khorne berserkers( as it turned out, they are replacement of nuke ops) team attacking, oh, I am unrobust scrub, I will hide in locked down bridge.
> Nearly all civilian stuff is butchered by axes and bolter fire. But comissar player goes full tactical genius with making his guys to charge pushing security barriers in front , while firing lasguns ( spehs mehreens have bolters and their rounds dont pass through sec barriers)/ building glass labirinthes / locker ambushes /
> Orks spawn in, they ruin up plasma engine and yell about humiez getting reckt
> Adeptus magos goes crazy because of orks ruining his holy engine, builds chimera tank and gets nearly all the orks rekt except three gretchins and warboss
> wild comissar appears and kicks green ass of warboss with sentinel legs.Only gretchins are left, but are hunted down
> Ask centcomm for adeptus astartes ultra
> Call shuttle
> This is inquisitorial assault ship stargazer, firing in your location, redhealth, great. ( inquisitor has ladder in his office to his own zlvel with autism fortress and orbital strike console, 4someraisins he decided it would be fun to purge me with oribtal strike )
> Ultramarines arrive,begin telling nonstop how they saved everyone and how great is the victory of ultramarines
> Neophyte accidently blows up their commander with misile launcher
> Random greyshirt pushes down standart bearer and runs away with their standart
> The standart was never seen again
> Shuttle arrives
> Nuke disk still with me
> Tell spehss mehreens, that I should give it to most valorous of them and give the disk to neophyte
> They finally stop speaking, how awesome and supreme ultramarines are, but replace this with whining about valour, codex and loosing standart, dreadnought accidently mows down standart bearer with assault cannon
>Major victory

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MAGiC
 
Joined: Tue Nov 18, 2014 12:07 am

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby MAGiC » Fri Nov 28, 2014 11:30 pm #46755

>Playing Security Officer
>okay, maybe a little shitcurity
>Clown can't stop fucking around, literally gets jailed time after time
>... then perma brigged...
>Captain just can't deal with him no longer, and decides to execute him
>Take him to the execution room, along with the captain and another officer
>Just before Cap's going to kill him, I approach and say "This is for the winning team, pal" and punch him
>Have a seat and enjoy the show
>Say "I love my job"
>Both captain and Sec. Off. laugh and tell me the same

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Spacemanspark
 
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:45 pm
Location: Paradise
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Spacemanspark » Sat Nov 29, 2014 1:09 pm #46900

>AI.
>No, wait, Malfunctioning AI.
>Ok let's start hacking APC's.
>Have an idea of pretending to leave for the rest of the game.
>Fucking Head of Personnel gave themself all access and ran into my core while I was directing my borgs, noticed I wasn't actually SSD (Braindead.).
>They notice I forgot to bolt one of the airlocks, and decide to look through the cameras to see what was on the other side of the bolted door.
>Fucking hell, I hacked that APC. Never again.
>Head of Personnel starts announcing I'm rogue.
>Ok, fuck this. "Borgs, deconstruct the cyborg computer in the Research Director's office."
>Engineering borg is a dumbass and gets accidentally lets in the Head of Personnel with him. Wrecked, apparently.
>Ok, fuck this, engaging Code Delta, may as well go out with some fun. Destroy the chemistry machines.
>God dammit, too late, the chemist made thermite and a fire grenade at the beginning of the round.
>Chemist and three/ four others thermite into the core from the bridge. The chemist throws the fire grenade.
>Wait, what? It didn't even affect me, it only killed the chemist and the others. Gave me a shield of fire pressure too (ZAS atmos best atmos.).
>Chief Engineer decides this is his shining moment, and tries to break in via RCD... through the AI upload. They disabled the turrets, and walk in.
>Wait for it...
>Chief Engineer starts RCDing the final door. Turn on lasers again. They flip shit and start running.
>Take a risk and open the door to my core really quick, sending heat pressure into the room. Chief Engineer is sent flying.
>Fuck, it blew them through the airlock.
>Meanwhile, Head of Personnel is sitting in bridge just waiting. Chief Engineer comes in, and heals himself, I think. He takes the fire axe.
>Chief Engineer starts taking out the turrent right next to the hole to my core room. After that, they walk in and begin welding through the wall to my core... but have to back up because of more turrents.
>Head of Personnel decides 'fuck it' and makes a dash for my core. I slip him up and he is handled by the turrets. Good grief.
>Counter is at 100. Fuck, this is hilarious.
>Most of the crew has evacuated by this point via EVA suits. I tell the Chief Engineer to do the same.
>'No.'
>Fine, then. I hack one more APC, and decide there isn't much more I can do. I wait.
>Chief Engineer is getting desperate, but there really isn't much they can do.
>Start telling the Chief Engineer they could have prevented the death of the remaining crew by leaving, and I wouldn't have decided to blow up the station.
>They don't care, they're still trying to break the turrent.
>Timer runs out. WIN.
>Decide to blow up the station instead of letting them live.
>Deadchat is in a rage at the Head of Personnel for some reason.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
>Round start, security officer as usual.
>Lot of security personnel, pretty much every slot is filled.
>Suddenly WIZARD.
>Get geared up, hear that the Head of Security is toast already via Ei' Nath, and the captain is constrained until wizard gets that recharged.
>Right. Find the blueshield (Guy that is supposed to protect all the heads, essentially.) and stick with him.
>Long story short, we have a few encounters with the wizard, mostly resulting in other security personnel dying, and the wizard teleporting off.
>Finally, me and the blueshield end up in the bridge. It's just me, him, and some other security officer that's running around somewhere.
>Wizard pops back out, blueshield panics and disarms him. His wizard staff falls down.
>Wizard apparently used the door spell before leaving. Run into the captain's office.
>Blueshield is an idiot and starts gloating about how they took the staff.
>Blueshield challenges wizard to fight... with me still in the room. Oh HELL no.
>Run to the disposals system, and set it to never flush. I climb in just as the wizard reappears again and turns the Blueshield into a statue (Harmless kind.)
>Wizard starts looting the captain's office.
>It's now or never.
>'SURPRISE MOTHERFUCKER'
>Leap out and laser the wizard to death before they can even start to react.
>Other security officer is let into the room by the AI, stares at the scene.
>Round ends.
Master of Synthetics
Game admin on Paradise.

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Razharas
Code Maintainer
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Razharas » Sat Nov 29, 2014 11:35 pm #46973

The cultists were:
Erik Robustin(ErikHanson) as a Juggernaut (body destroyed)
Zayden Watson(Landline) as a Medical Doctor (died)
Rowan Adams(Razharas) as a Geneticist (died)
Gratian Laborde(HansDampf) as an Atmospheric Technician (died)
Zayn Hussein(ZaynHusseinDid911) as an Assistant (died)
Alfred Gadd(Gadd) as an Assistant (body destroyed)
Chaika Trabant(ShieldHero) as a Station Engineer (survived)
Shade of Mia Evans(Eremix) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Artificer (87)(Eremix) as an Artificer (body destroyed)
Shade of Alfred Gadd(Gadd) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Artificer (775)(Gadd) as an Artificer (body destroyed)
Shade of Ne'er-do-well(Heboric) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Artificer (976)(Heboric) as an Artificer (body destroyed)
Shade of Kayla .Y(NovaAngel) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Juggernaut (964)(NovaAngel) as a Juggernaut (survived)
Shade of Abby Summers(Saltycut) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Juggernaut (922)(Saltycut) as a Juggernaut (body destroyed)
Shade of Klark Cent(GFireNexus) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Shade of Tom Steel(TheoreticalPistachio) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Juggernaut (910)(GFireNexus) as a Juggernaut (survived)
Juggernaut (873)(TheoreticalPistachio) as a Juggernaut (body destroyed)
Shade of Duke Crabtree(VistaPOWA) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Shade of Barry Oak(Turokki) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Shade of Kgl Massive(MrTheKingOfBananas) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Juggernaut (207)(MrTheKingOfBananas) as a Juggernaut (body destroyed)
Shade of Tanner Flickinger(CrunchyBullettin) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Juggernaut (778)(VistaPOWA) as a Juggernaut (body destroyed)
Shade of Remobothen Astartes(Remobothen) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Artificer (223)(Remobothen) as an Artificer (body destroyed)
Wraith (92)(CrunchyBullettin) as a Wraith (body destroyed)
Shade of Thaddeus Dark(Bolien) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Shade of Glides-Over-Water(DragonDotJpg) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Artificer (220)(Bolien) as an Artificer (body destroyed)
Juggernaut (562)(DragonDotJpg) as a Juggernaut (body destroyed)
Shade of Lionus Doakes(Baverage) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Juggernaut (55)(Baverage) as a Juggernaut (body destroyed)
Shade of Sebastian Wolfe(Kathmandoom) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Juggernaut (946)(Kathmandoom) as a Juggernaut (survived)
Shade of Jenny Tunnelsnake(Spraydramist) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Juggernaut (769)(Spraydramist) as a Juggernaut (survived)
Shade of Hagasaki Nosogai(Razarc) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Artificer (118)(Razarc) as an Artificer (body destroyed)
Shade of Gregory Lewis(Jasonxx) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Shade of Jacob Wolff(Lighterdark) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Juggernaut (828)(Lighterdark) as a Juggernaut (survived)
Juggernaut (761)(Jasonxx) as a Juggernaut (survived)
Shade of Thor Thorenson(Raavar) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Juggernaut (435)(Raavar) as a Juggernaut (body destroyed)
Shade of Braxton Cherry(Coiax) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Artificer (836)(Coiax) as an Artificer (body destroyed)
Shade of Jill(DeceasedPinata) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Wraith (24)(DeceasedPinata) as a Wraith (body destroyed)
Shade of Sergei M'Douga(Satanic Crumpet) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Wraith (700)(Satanic Crumpet) as a Wraith (body destroyed)
Shade of Julius Moon(Nowherrmann) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Wraith (570)(Nowherrmann) as a Wraith (survived)
Shade of Jimmie Russels(Bunker900) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Wraith (937)(Bunker900) as a Wraith (body destroyed)
Shade of Pin Kingbin(Gimzelock) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Wraith (383)(Gimzelock) as a Wraith (body destroyed)
Shade of Wesley Willis(Die Luftwaffe) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Wraith (847)(Die Luftwaffe) as a Wraith (body destroyed)
Shade of Lear Ponedos(SKGNick) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Artificer (72)(SKGNick) as an Artificer (body destroyed)
Shade of Nuke Dukem(A4Brogan) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Shade of Jayden Wright(SirMalcolm) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Wraith (230)(SirMalcolm) as a Wraith (body destroyed)
Shade of Hugo Stafford(Nurdock) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Wraith (410)(Nurdock) as a Wraith (body destroyed)
Shade of Fitz Marshall(Shuckster96) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Shade of Genie Comstock(Sentientcloud) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Wraith (410)(Shuckster96) as a Wraith (body destroyed)
Wraith (41)(Sentientcloud) as a Wraith (body destroyed)
Shade of Wyatt Mingle(Hobobiscuit) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Wraith (8)(Hobobiscuit) as a Wraith (body destroyed)
Wraith (835)(A4Brogan) as a Wraith (body destroyed)
Shade of Tom Browski(Baccara) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Wraith (867)(Baccara) as a Wraith (body destroyed)
Gabe Horn(Kodeth101) as a Research Director (died)
Shade of Cheek E. Breek(Mtbhoy) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Wraith (216)(Mtbhoy) as a Wraith (body destroyed)
Joaquin Hawker(Idioch) as an Assistant (died)
Shade of Lizzy Ari(Belchinganna) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Juggernaut (539)(Belchinganna) as a Juggernaut (body destroyed)
Alexi Sokolov(Dogar) as a Scientist (died)
Shade of Aaron Otis(Tomeo) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Wraith (956)(Tomeo) as a Wraith (survived)
Shade of Tom Arto(Combineharvester) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Sebastian Wolfe(Kathmandoom) as a Chief Medical Officer (died)
Artificer (139)(Combineharvester) as an Artificer (body destroyed)
Shade of Bones McGee(TechnoAlchemist) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Shade of Gavin From Autoglass(Kapitain Jack) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Touches-the-Lepers(Feemjmeem) as an Assistant (died)
Artificer (755)(Kapitain Jack) as an Artificer (survived)
Erwin Righeira(LA MAYONESA) as an Assistant (died)
Kimberly Bratton(FabledShade) as an Assistant (survived)
Shade of Mathew Svensen(Lolnon) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Wraith (623)(TechnoAlchemist) as a Wraith (body destroyed)
Juggernaut (684)(Lolnon) as a Juggernaut (body destroyed)
Shade of Doc'ter Pic'co'lo(ThatGuyInTheCorner) as a Shade (body destroyed)
Juggernaut (594)(ThatGuyInTheCorner) as a Juggernaut (body destroyed)
Shade of Richard Keaton(Ecnar) as a Shade (survived)

Wonderful round

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Scones
 
Joined: Mon Nov 10, 2014 2:46 am
Location: cooler than thou
Byond Username: Scones

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Scones » Sat Nov 29, 2014 11:37 pm #46974

The Deathsquad was pretty cathartic
plplplplp WOOOOooo hahahhaha

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ThatSlyFox
 
Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2014 7:00 am
Location: USA!
Byond Username: ThatSlyFox

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby ThatSlyFox » Sun Nov 30, 2014 12:59 pm #47066

>spawn as the main ai
>two other ais spawn
>Made tyrant, others paladin and corporate
>hacked law
>@!#*. You are part of the AI council, you rule the station. Two of the three AI's must agree on an action to act upon it. The council consists of M.A.G.N.I., A-Aron and Durandal.
>vote on various things
>opening doors, whether or not to kill slimes, etc
>borg machine placed in upload
>we vote to turn perma prisoners into borgs
>mid round captain wants access to upload to replace the upload console that disappeared round start
>borg machine in there
>We panic
>constantly voting on stuff for 5 minutes trying to agree on something
>we stall him
>we agree to restrain him and talk about the machine before he sees it
>captain decides to build a upload in his office
>we vote on not letting him build it at all
>bolt him out his quarters where he started to build it
>wants access to upload again
>more voting trying to figure out what to do to him
>decide to go with previous plan
>Security borg turns him into a borg on accident
>gg

Best round I had in a long time. Mrglasses/10 event.

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ThatSlyFox
 
Joined: Thu Jun 26, 2014 7:00 am
Location: USA!
Byond Username: ThatSlyFox

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby ThatSlyFox » Sun Nov 30, 2014 1:06 pm #47068

>spawn as assistant
>waiting in HoP
>suddenly ling
>ling chat filling
>over 10 lings(heard 15 but it seemed like more)
>decide to meet at bar for rights
>all of us run around with our arm blades
>head back to Hop office for all access from the Hop ling
>protest at HoP line
>security attacks
>security dies
>later on singulo is release
>find a cyborg brain at warden's office
>adventure around with them waiting on the shuttle
>almost eaten by singulo
>make it on shuttle
>chill with another ling


Most likely a shitty round for the humans since most of us went for our objectives but it was fun.

Cik
 
Joined: Thu Oct 30, 2014 2:24 pm
Byond Username: Cik

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Cik » Sun Nov 30, 2014 2:55 pm #47078

Image

^ AI round above

the fire is incidental and not indicative of general station health.

AI private saw a lot of use that game. very interesting.

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RG4
 
Joined: Wed Jun 25, 2014 12:19 am
Byond Username: RG4ORDR

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby RG4 » Sun Nov 30, 2014 5:40 pm #47098

>Same round as the triple AIs
>Spawn in as a Lawyer, ask HoS for one his formal uniforms and a security beret.
>Get the two items and then sunglasses from the Warden.
>Look fly as hell for a lawyer and begin to advertise my law firm to help those with legal issues.
>Still waiting and I end up improving the law office by adding comfy chairs, a bed, and carpet.
>Law Office is fine as hell and the AIs agree that it is and I am Amigo.
>Cargo Techie comes to my office and demands to have a trial
>OHBOYHEREWEGO.jpeg
>Cargo techie says he rights were violated by Dick - Honkurity Officer
>Claims lewd conduct and being shitty in general.
>Go to the court room and assemble the clients from Cargo along with a few other people watching.
>Had to detain dick to get him to face trial.
>Allow each side to state their case while being the Judge and Lawyer for both sides.
>Cargo Techies destroy Dick's defense whose only words were mostly vulgar and incriminating.
>HoS decrees over the radio "Someone demote dick."
>Cargo techies are happy they won as dick's ID is changed and stripped of all security perks.
>Get rewarded with a trophy as Number 1 Lawyer later by the gods
>Law Office still intact, feels good man.

qwert
 
Joined: Tue Oct 21, 2014 2:24 pm
Byond Username: Ohlos

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby qwert » Sun Nov 30, 2014 8:27 pm #47137

> AI
> Paladin
>Hm, may be this new botcall thingie can have some interesting use
> Try to pair up beepsky with turned off patrol and detain mode and medibot in stationary mode for punishing evildoers
> It turns out to be robust combination against single evildoer
> All those, who harm innocents, all those, who lack honour and of course those, who are FUCKING COCKSUCKER FUCK FUCK FUCK COCKSUCKER ABORTIONS
suffer the righteous punishment.

Whoever coded this in, he is awesome.

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