Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

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wesoda25
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by wesoda25 » #531591

Bottom post of the previous page:

[youtube]Gd88U6rYaWY[/youtube]
go to 7:30 for the round i talked about
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Kel-the-Oblivious
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Kel-the-Oblivious » #534493

>You are the shaft miner!
>Alright, time to strike the earth.
>Digganob around
>Huh, comms are awful quiet
>Oh, hey a fellow miner
>Wait, they don't have a survival suit?
>OH FUCK THAT"S A DESWORD!
>Hit twice, deploy legion core!
>Small skirmish where they try to rush me, but have to back away due to KA
>Book it off into the ash
>Storm hits, hide in Heirophant arena
>Poke my head into the outpost
>They are camping there, waiting for me to return
>Fellow miner arrives
>Try to explain the situation when suddenly I black out
>Miner bro tries to save me, gets 10mm'd to death
>Wake up just in time to get a DEsword to the face, book it into the ash again
>Comms are dead, can't tell the station
>Start tendril hunting, maybe I can find something to even the odds
>See wounded paramedic
>"Hello?" "AAAH!" They run off into the ash
>Seems I've been framed
>Okay... Hey, golems!
>Drop off satchel, get some supplies, bro it up with golems
>Get some tools, they had a protolathe. Bro golems are full of bro.
>Even NV mesons!
>Kill all my lights, become lurker in the dark.
>Tator is roving with another miner and paramedic, seems they convinced the station I was the bad guy
>Fuck, they saw me!
>Yakkity off into the ash, they are hot on my tail
>Deploy jaunter!
>Wormholed into space outside the bomb test range
>All of them follow me.
>None of them were ready for a space walk, paramedic dies in the void
>Survival stim, GO! Emergency shelter, GO!
>Chilling in my shack, waiting for death to find me
>Random engineer floats by.
>"Please tell me you aren't here to kill me too."
>Nope, just a bro engineer, they haul me back to station.
>Thank the stars for small blessings, head to security to explain the situation.
>Sec sees me, and instantly applies stunbaton
>Confirms I've been framed.
>"If i was a criminal, why would I come to security?!"
>"Good point."
>They check my bag, find assorted miner gear and nothing else.
>Free to go
>There is an imposter miner following me. Wearing the ID of the hero who died to save me.
>Head back to mining, giving the imposter the slip along the way.
>Digganob it up, find some gear.
>Momento Mori, Champion Hardsuit
>Just what I FUCK ATHENA'S BACK!
>Disappear into the ash once again, but now I do not fear the storms.
>Evac shuttle is called, use a jaunter.
>Fuck, stuck in a wall, and that assistant is just laughing at me
>Cutter out, head to shuttle
>Imposter miner is there, and he's following me around.
>Slip into red section of shuttle, imposter follows
>Survival stim, knowing he was going to try to murder me
>Black out again, and see them start to DEsword me
>Sec just mobs them, while I'm down in crit
>Survival stim + Momento Mori = I'm immortal bitch
>Shuttle docks
>THREE traitors were tasked with murdering me, all of them failed
>Didn't kill any of them, but managed to give them the slip the entire round

Manuel is a great server.
The master splicer, the bitch queen of mining, and some crazy ligger peddling you medicinal marijuana.
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by confused rock » #536003

Perhaps some of these events are out of order. order started to lose all meaning during the rising action.
Exposition
Spoiler:
>Manuel Delta Station secguy go go go
>Head of security gives a singular order to the detective that my brain calculates means that me and the HOS will have a poor relationship this round
>I'm right, for the wrong reasons.
>Round goes on and I hear about a friendly wizard
>he gives a resurrection staff out, which I particularly loathe because of the tension it removes
>he decides to spend the round doing chemistry work
>This turns out to be the most destructive choice he could possibly make...
Conflict
Spoiler:
>hear some shit about skeletons at engineering
>perhaps this is the proof I need to persuade the HOS that the wizard is working against us!
>lights are smashed all over
>find the captain's pda, with the CE's id inside?!
>before I think it over, I get jumped by the skeleton of the captain!
>fuck, there's no fixing that. I kill it, taking a nearby shotgun and the pda
>HOS is convinced there's two wizards- I'm not.
>That won't last long.
Rising Action (aka the really long part)
Spoiler:
>passing by tech storage, I see a lot of locker staff weldings- magic staves have already started falling into the hands of non wizardss, even though miraculously no magic was summoned, nor events, nor ghosts.
>at least, that's what I figure, since I'm being attacked by two holoparasites at once and between the pellets from the ranged shots I figure that the culprit's in one of those lockers. best off shooting the stand.
>So anyways, I started blasting.
>sawn off riot shotgun's not perfect, but when I run out of ammo I'm still in decent health and the holoparasites have warped away, or die.
>soon as I get my bearings, I learn the correct answer was warped away.
>I don't remember it taking so many pellets to down a holoparasite, and I'm limping away in a maint tunnel by the time I'm down to my last shot, still being peltered.
>it's dead by the time the last shot hits the bloody thing.
>I limp off to find the guy who got that healing staff and come back to find this time, the holoparasite didn't warp away. the remains are lying on the floor.
>I take a scroll, confirm there are two wizards.. and a scrying orb?
>I figure apprentice, but ghosts are less than pleased to see me. one is very worried about me having access to scrying and tells people to shush up. others greatly want me to kill the first wizard. I am not given evidence for their wrongdoings, however, so I must stand by the HOS' order to leave them be.
>I pretend to finish scrying and overhear from the worried ghost that he's thinking about a sentient disease, currently only affecting one person- a doctor.
>I warn the doctor of the issue and we immediately administer plenty of spaceallin so at the worst, the disease will die with him.

>now, everything starts to gel together.

>commotion leads to me learning of a new wizard gearing up in his den. by now, I'm assuming that there's going to be more and more of these, and I'll have to kill them all fast- this includes finding evidence against the first wizard.
>some prick in the bridge, probably the AI, calls the shuttle with the reason being to motivate security to get their shit together.
>As far as I'm concerned, this is a direct insult to me
>use that pda I picked up earlier to recall it. my shit is SO TOGETHER! some engiborg yelps about me not being the CE but I don't give a fuck.
>a wizard attacks the brig!
>by the time I get there the HOS is dead on the floor, but I can't process that while I'm shooting the wizard to death with buckshot.
>Scry around a bit to scan for more wizards in the den, but it seems clear.
>I keep some character while scrying, changing my outlook. I hardly notice the difference between in character and out of it from my experience with the ghosts, and I start to think it's normal to hear them.
>most of the ghosts either ignore me or outright hate me if they aren't urging me to kill the first wizard- from what it sounds like, they're angry with me for killing wizards so mercilessly- what, am I supposed to leave other wizards to die? is there more to this?
>load up on buckshot and take a command headset from my opponent to inform the remaining heads of staff of the situation, including damon, the head of personnel, who I must repeatedly urge to take captaincy
>"Yes, that is THREE wizards. one is still alive, the first on-"
>comms cut out, just in time for me to notice 2 more wizards in the den. I think it's two at once, but one is the apprentice.
>I need to get comms back on ASAP and warn the crew
>grab an inducer from engi, stroll through tcomms just in time... for the ai to fix it anyways
>xray from the scrying orb spots smoke in the captain's office!
>run in to administer buckshot
>I shit my pants each time I point blank him since he's got an obliteration in his hand!
>this wizard's armor shocks me as he keeps surviving when I think each shell should've killed him.
>after one of the shots he finally stops crawling towards me.
>alright, tiime to lea- more smoke!
>this apprentice wastes no time in slinging a fireball, singing me while knocking him unconscious and leaving him to burn to death.
I, uh, guess that means I've killed four wizards?
>I, uh, should probably heal the HOS by now. they've been lying in security for a while now.
>I don't have much time to think about it, as one of the chittering ghosts upon my scrying orb informs me that I shouldn't bother since the HOS is now a wizard
>This is quite shattering even for what I've heard. I should be taken completely aback by hearing this, but it gels with what I know enough already.
>first thing I check? where's the new wizard- hiding in a morgue tray
>chuck a flashbang in, they run out, I shell them a good few times.
>shell break
>Another wizard comes in while I'm talking with the hop! and a space dragon!
>scrying tells me both are near medbay. I announce my intention to deal with the wizard, but that the dragon isn't my area of expertise and I'll have to trust the warden with dealing with it.
>Somewhere around here, I learn that the first wizard has commit suicide, from his ghost. Yet there's also a slimeperson of their name?
>The dragon kills some, but spends most of its time just breaking walls to space. I start to wish killing dragons was my area of expertise.
>wizard's a bit of a joke. I see them with a stand, I see them turn into a corgi, I see their garbage lying in escape, presumably killed by the dragon.
>guess I have to figure out dragon hunting, then.
>I chase it all the way to science, as it seems to have more intent on causing hull breaches than fighting me.
>unload buckshot in meleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

>oh it died.

>heading back to the bridge, that's five wizards I personally killed, one wizard-killing dragon I killed, and one wizard kind of just.. flopping over.
>I scry over and over, but there are no more wizards stopping by the den.
>I resign my skills to other uses, like killing a morph (not before it eats the ore silo since the ai took far too long to open the vault, only for me to remember I have the teleport scroll right after.)
>The AI has conveniently glazed over the human wizards I killed, and has me sorting out an issue it has with a cyborg and a catgirl who was allegedly finishing off dying people and robbing their bodies.
>I essentially blow it off- it's not my problem, this isn't my area, and no ghosts are claiming to have been killed by this cat. shoo.
>that seems like the right choice, in the end. but what else am I to do?
>I sit in the bridge with acting captain damon, scrying to see if there's any way I can make this station more the tops.
>There's a lot I could fix, but I'm not even sure where to start. that locker staff was found by an engineer named Jodie, who has been abusing it and a necromantic stone, as far as I'm concerned. All the stone invites is trouble.
>I scry and I scry and I look back to see myself dying.
>I learn that the roundtype was actually dynamic- an hour and 30 minutes into the round, damon was turned into a traitor and, well, shoots me in the face.
Climax
Spoiler:
>Damon now has two scrying orbs. he leaves me in his bathroom.
>At this point I might as well give up hope, but I'm terrified of letting my death be so mundane. There must be something!
>he publicly announces his upcoming purge
>attempt to in the most casual way possible bring up that I was made a traitor later as well. I suggest if he has the time to revive me I could join him in the purge.
>the lie goes.. at least better than I expe- wait, why is damon in a locker?
>Jodie, in the most spectacular display of perception I've ever seen, decides that Damon publicly announcing the purge he plans isn't in our best interest.
>Jodie's not sure if it was a joke or not, though they have plenty of time to decide thanks to the locker staff she plucked.
>"Is-a-Lizard, is he bad? move up and down if so"
>SHE CAN SEE ME?
>this fucking changes everything. fuck it, I don't need to go along with this plan if I can get anyone else to help me.
>sway side to side to signal no so I can keep up the reputation with damon, who she leaves in a locker before I guide her slowly to the bathroom I've been left in.
>the healing staff user is nowhere to be seen- cloning is sluggish and I come out more than slightly brain dead, but alive!
Falling action
Spoiler:
>coming out of the cloner, it's clear the station has little time left. shuttle'll be here in five minutes, the asteroid shuttle.
>My mind's all over the place- this is the first time since before I killed my first of five wizards that I haven't been in touch with ghosts- I just barely realise that I don't even know what my plan was when I was a ghost!
>Supermatter's dying because cynic was locked in engineering and spited the entire station by delaminating it, reminding me of a similar situation I saw in the past.
>I don't have time to think about anything any more. my mind has to focus on the welded locker in front of me.
>Damon is welded inside, but the warden is trying to change that!
>I plead with the warden but he completely ignores me, plasma cutting the locker open and running off.
>immediately Damon brandishes a riot shotgun with a barrel far longer than mine could ever compare to. now, I feel and am naked.
>he didn't account for one thing, though. his back is against a wall.
>I shove the gun out of his hands before he gets a chance to use it, and unload twice as many shells as I probably needed to into him.
>I get on most of my pants before jodie comes over, and I have to awkwardly deny that earlier I said Damon Wasn't a serial killer, despite now claiming that he blew my brains out.
>Let's just get out of here. Meteor on delta doesn't have an entrance in the right spot, so I grab a pick and try to dig it out before a scientist does it with a plasmacutter and I feel stupid.
Resolution
Spoiler:
>Me and jodie chat about the situation in our scrying orbs where I can properly explain what happened with me and Damon
>At round end, I look over the wizard's objectives.
>each wizard, beyond the first, has one objective- kill the first wizard.
>This ultimately culminates in "DIPLOMAT NUMBER FOUR. DO THE FUCKING THING. WE'RE NOT EVEN GIVING YOU AN OBJECTIVE TO SURVIVE ANYMORE. WE DON'T EXPECT YOU TO. JUST PLEASE, PLEASE KILL THE FIRST WIZARD WHO BETRAYED US."
>well, that explains why the ghosts both wanted the first wizard dead and lamented me stopping the later ones.
>if I had killed the first wizard based off my instinct instead of showing restraint in getting them valids, none of this would've happened.
>whether that means I should've killed the first wizard or not, I still can't decide.
I never went that deep into the scrying orb before, but the interactions were very interesting. I imagine hearing about the HOS becoming a wizard was not entirely dissimilar to a certain situation in pathologic 1, which is 15 years old so that's not a spoiler any more.
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Jack7D1
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Jack7D1 » #536039

Security was renamed to "Is-a-lizard stole the Chief engineers ID"
Bridge was renamed to fridge
Medbay was renamed to blood zone v2
Etc etc. Jack Miller and Helen were the best assistants ever.
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nianjiilical
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by nianjiilical » #540082

>be malf ai
>target is the chemist
>see him next to dispenser
>insert blank smoke recipe as a joke
>"ai if you do that again im going to kill myself"
>do it again
>he kills himself
>greentext
human: ramon chivara
ai: shitpost generator
borg: shite-115
clown: donk tonkler
mime: beautiful noise

admin feedback thread

my admin policy:
Spoiler:
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confused rock
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by confused rock » #540084

Lmao, best part is even an asimov ai is allowed to do that because uhhh *opens silicon policy textbook*
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peoplearestrange
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by peoplearestrange » #540601

nianjiilical wrote:>be malf ai
>target is the chemist
>see him next to dispenser
>insert blank smoke recipe as a joke
>"ai if you do that again im going to kill myself"
>do it again
>he kills himself
>greentext
Reminds me of AlmightyFuzz's story of "traitor AI"
> Gets one humaned by one traitor
> gets ANTI-MOV'd by another.
> Kills original one and only human due to the new laws
> kills self again following the laws
gg
Whatever
Spoiler:
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Nabski
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Nabski » #541471

This story is OLD, back when Okand was an admin before they were headmin, but after detectives were removed from the traitor list. I was reminded of it by the medRP thread.

I spawned as the detective over a lunch break on some map that I never fully learned. I want to say the bar/kitchen was a tall vertical thing with entries off both sides of the main hallway. 20 or so players online. Someone has broken into the vault and I'm casually investigating. It has finger prints I figure out who it was the captain arrests them good job entire security team (aka me). I go to the dining area for some food and on the table there is a PULSE RIFLE. I don't think I had ever actually used a pulse rifle at this point but I had heard of their massive power. Being the massive member of shitsec that I am, I scan it for prints and not finding any put it in an evidence bag. I walk around with the evidence bag and ask EVERY SINGLE CREW MEMBER if they know anything about it.

No-one does.

I don't remember if I ahelped or just prayed about it. While waiting for the answer to "what's up with this gun" I decided to at last fire it since my lunch break was ending. It exploded and removed my arm.
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wesoda25
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by wesoda25 » #550080

This amazing story has inspired me to use a duffelbag from now on, God bless our duffelbagers
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Fikou
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Fikou » #550674

>be me
>assistant
>go on lavaland to mine
>nevermind need to take a shit
>afk in a crate
>come back, hear bubblegum eating miner
>take miners shit, take his head to resurrect him
>go back to arrivals with the mining ship
>oh shit a wizard
>he chops my hand off with a spellblade and magic missiles but i run away
>go into robotics, put the miners brain in a debrained body, no soul, also get hand back
>hunting of the wizard follows, not much happens
>wiz is in cargo, revives a guy into a roman skeleton
>he uses magic missile, stuns everyone in the room, including that skeleton with a claymore
>go in the room, grab the claymore off the ground and chop the skeleton's head off while he's stunned
>wiz blinks into vault, wait in vault maint for the perfect moment
>he blinks into vault maint
>chop his head off with a claymore, end the round
>grab the spellblade
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Kel-the-Oblivious
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Kel-the-Oblivious » #550692

>Late join Manuel as security officer
>Wander around, checking stuff out
>Hear the chaplain talk about holding a sermon
>"Meh, alright, lets see what gimmick they have."
>It's a cult of Ronald McDonald
>Alright then.
>"I must go get burgers for sacrament!"
>"Alright, you head off, I'm going to try this whole prayer thing"
>Pray to admins for them to deliver unto me a super sized number one, extra sauce, with a Dr Gibb, no ice.
>"You hear a whisper in your head" Are you lovin' it?
>And so began my life as the cultist security officer of the Church of Ronald.
>Ronald granted me minor thickness, but it was Reads-the-Book that was TRULY blessed
>His thickness was so great that he would cause space time to warp if he spun.
>Together, the three of us, Immo, Ann, and Reads set out on a quest to gather together the holy trinity. Nuggies, Burgers, and Large Fries
>In the end, the Golden Arches sat within the chapel, every tile covered in one of the three thickening sacraments
>A ghost of the King tried to disrupt it, but was chased off every time.

Behold the THICKENING of Reads-the-Books
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by NikoTheGuyDude » #550993

>be me, clown Unfunny Lizard on manuel

> do le funny clown stuff for the beginning of the shift, give a clown a hat of the honkmother, slip sec, say bad puns over the radio, throw a pie at someone

> cap says hes going in his salt room for protection against the revenant

> "From your tears? Cause you cry so much since noone loves you"?

> "yes"

>"Captain, I WANT YOUR SALT"

___

>This goes on for a while, UNTIL I TAKE A SALT SHAKER AND GO INTO HIS ROOM AND START SALTING HIM AND TOUCHING HIM

> basically borderline sexual harassment

>pie a catgirl who is shoving me, said catgirl responds by critting me

>get arrested by sec

>taken to med for 5 lobotomies

this is where it gets intresting

>escape their grasp and slip them 10 times each and cause the sec to stun the doc twice before being subdued and lobotomized 5 times

>somehow avoid brain traumae except for psychotic brawling and a fucking IMAGINARY FRIEND

>nothing of note for a while, a few slips

___
>in brig

>get threatened with perma

>get brigged instead

>both a fucking revenant and nightmare try to kill me (rev had obj to make my life hell, i suppose for the borderline rape)

>GET RELEASED

>i ask friendo how they can noclip through walls

>"a gift from my lord, L'ajssshhsssgagywjksssbhhhcgsssjhhhuesssyuydhhgrhehghajdjwyu the Devourer."

>how can i get this power myself?

>well, it requires you to have me summoned on the physical plane.

___

>go to chapel

>turn off lights

>make runes

>make candles

>get a body from morgue

>cmo comes along with a circular saw and helps with the ritual, but is speculative

>L'ajssshhsssgagywjksssbhhhcgsssjhhhuesssyuydhhgrhehghajdjwyu the Devourer FUCKING SPEAKS TO US and demands a dead black slime

>racist

>friend goes to sleep for a bit and i go get the slime, science is cooperative for once

>biggest fucking mistake ever in the entire existence of reality itself

___

>go back to chapel

>L'ajssshhsssgagywjksssbhhhcgsssjhhhuesssyuydhhgrhehghajdjwyu the Devourer speaks, says it will be done, they will have a physical form

>friendo wakes up 5 min later

>they die and are reborn atop the gibbed corpse, AS A PURPLE XENO WHO KNOWS FUCKIN REPTILLIAN (am lizard so i understand)

>sacrifice another body

>friend gains the ability to convert simplemobs to the cult

>we convert ian, poly, runtime, a cockroach, a clown from a clownstorm event, etc.

>not in chronological order

>eventually RD sees us and demands for BOTH of our executions

>i pray to L'ajssshhsssgagywjksssbhhhcgsssjhhhuesssyuydhhgrhehghajdjwyu the Devourer and ask for protection

>i get a weakened cult stun

>fuck_yeah.jpg

>detective shows up and tries to coax me into death

>i say no

>they kill me

___

>i salt a bit in dchat about validhunters

>friend almost kills det

>I AM SWOOPED UP BY AN ODYSSEUS AND TAKEN TO MED

>FRIEND COMES WITH

>NOONE ATTACKS FRIEND

>midnight rose said they didnt expect lethals quite so soon

>i get revived

>rev tries to tell me to kill warden, i ignore them

___

>me and friend, me with cap headset now, go fuck aroudn for a while

>i get AA somehow

>we go to xenobio for some reason

>this after a clown portal storm HONK

>clowns are around

>RD AND DURAND ARE THERE

>THEY TRY TO KILL US BUT I PUSH RD AND TLEEPORT THEM

>DURAND RUNS OUT AND BLAST DOORS CLOSE

>XENOS ARE FRIENDLY TO ME

>PAI IS TRANSLATING

>I MAKE A CLOWN SENTIENT

>eventually we break out

>people screamed about singuloose for a while now, i didnt care

>SINGULO COMES UP NEXT TO ME

>FUCK

___

>RUN TO CHAPEL

>pray to L'ajssshhsssgagywjksssbhhhcgsssjhhhuesssyuydhhgrhehghajdjwyu the Devourer for salvation

>SINGULARITY IS GETTING VISUALLY CLOSER

>THE CHAPEL IS SPACED

>CENTCOM ANNOUNCEMENT COMES: SINGULO HAS BEEN FUCKING HIJACKED BY L'ajssshhsssgagywjksssbhhhcgsssjhhhuesssyuydhhgrhehghajdjwyu the Devourer!!!!

>OH FUCK GOD

___

>never see friend again, they jumped into singulo

>i mourn

>ask why i was betrayed

>realize i was exploited as a conduit for the devouring of our reality

>i ask why they did it in prayers

>"To devour."

>i grow sad

>take my gold horn

>IM SORRY HONKMOTHER!!! IM SO SORRY!!!

>suicide

___

>singulo is now narsie

>its deadchat controlled

>d e v o u r

>i ask the honkmother for forgiveness

>"THERE IS ONLY HUNGER NOW"

>HE ATE MY GOD

this round was fucking insane oh my god. all because of a little lobotomy and admemery, all of reality is gone

this round just happened btw
Jack7D1
Joined: Tue Oct 29, 2019 2:00 am
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Jack7D1 » #551005

Very good round lots of bones
confused rock
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:18 am
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by confused rock » #563049

SURVIVE

>security on manuel, boxstation, round with about 40 people
>This round would only be possible on the new design of boxstation
>no captain
>no hos
>no warden
>no other security staff
>detective goes braindead in a locker
>only a hop
>five minutes in brig explodes with me in it
>I am on fire knocked on the ground at 50% hp
>roll the fire out
>I am trapped
>slam a firelock alarm despite the cold to escape, drink a coffee, rush back and grab a donut and a hardsuit
>use donut to heal up to half health again and have to guard the armory till it's half-fixed and I go to the hop for extra access
>guard armory for over 10 minutes until I get specific pda messages for help
>it's a blue APC, which I'm sure is emagged
>geneticist moth lumin lux is concerned about the same APC and I say I'm on the case
>took me several minutes to walk to the apc
>poor communication means it takes me like 10 minutes to forensic scan all evidence
>hop's door is emagged, black gloves? I'm not wearing them and no other sec, is this the janitor?
>APC has janitor suit on it. it is the janitor.
>1 geneticist is missing, the other runs into my beepsky
>searching the janitor, explain it's about the emag business
>nothing suspicious on him so I'm about to let him go
>"WHATS AN EMAG" he says
>that was playing dumb so hard that I know he's involved somehow
>give him to the hop as they're the only person with authority otherwise who I can trust
>after failing to find the other janitor I reluctantly let him go for the time being as maybe he is just that stupid and it'd be awfully invasive of me to search for a storage implant on a hunch
>"hey, there's traitor stuff at escape"
>it's a.. storage implant box... with janitor jumpsuit fibers on it...
>fortunately for me the stupid janitor falls right into my arms yet again
>one of the doctors in medbay is too stupid to do a surgery but he politely points that out and fetches a competent doctor, who removes the implant
>toolbelt, airlock charger, emag
>drag him to hop, who agrees that a trial would be good since this guy is absolutely hilarious
>he says "DO YOU HAVE ANY PROOF THAT I USED MY EMAG ON ANY ARMORED PERSONNEL CARRIERS?"
>while he's in the trial box, before it's announced, I tell the hop to not announce it yet- the janitor has a pda message!

ADAPT

>the pda message is from someone named jordi- they've subverted the ai, and knew that crush had one of the borgs subverted before. they're interested in working together.
>play along, we'll meet at arrivals
>leave the guy with a lawyer, failing to regard the track record lawyers have of letting out even the most dangerous criminals
>hop comes with as backup. we're still poorly armed since we have to get to the meeting asap
>grab braindead detective's gun as plan B
>head to arrivals
>disabler the guy down on sight, a mediborg and a standard borg were hiding nearby
>I can't get cuffs on this guy yet but I probably shouldn't shoot every criminal I meet as the only example of security this station has!
>unload the ion on both borgs while occasionally disablering jordi so he can't get up
>get cuffs on jordi but the borgs are back-I don't notice how much the mediborg is poisoning me
>when I realise I don't have much time awake, I unload the revolver into jordi in hopes the borgs won't try to save him once he's fully dead.
>that doesn't matter to me now! I'm bleeding out!
>bleed out as I watch the hop scuffle with the borgs. I never see her again.
>after my death, I watch the borgs struggle to barely keep jordi alive. the mediborg's saline solve most his ills.
>curse myself as my body dries in the vacant office despite having suit sensors, as the borgs were too busy evacuating jordi. even less reason for me to keep my sensors on in the future!




WIN

>"Um, is-a-lizard looks hurt on suit sensors"
>a lizard doctor shows up outside the vacant office
>"AI"
>don't you fucking say it
>"open vacant office please"
>watch the door get set to shocked
>another doctor, human, shows up, and the AI has to open the door to avoid blowing cover.
>the doctors bring my body back to medbay with the HoP going unnoticed, as do the ai's subtle, but failed attempts at murdering both doctors.
>All of my organs are rotted partially
>I get a synthetic heart, but the ai shorts the power to medbay intentionally, forcing the doctors to leave me half blind and with constant tinnitus
>the eye damage heals but as I wake up I am informed I have already caught the sentient disease that is killing all of medbay- it's ludicrous to cure and for the rest of the round I'm popping synthflesh and pentetic acid to keep myself alive.
>My mistake was trying to use silence as cover and thinking me and the HoP could take on jordi and his borgs with no preparation. This time, I'll let everyone know.
>Scream as obnoxiously as possible over radio the exact crimes of jordi, crush the janitor, and the AI.
>Okay, got that part down... now I regret how hastily I equipped myself in fighting jordi earlier
>genetics set up a public station and I grab insulation and cold resistance
>use cold resist to visit the exploded brig and grab an ion carbine along with an advanced egun
>I'm going to need help if I want to fight the borgs and jordi, plus ultimately the ai, this time. Especially since I'm balancing my awful organs and my supreme injuries. Maybe find where crush escaped to along the way.
>See an assistant call the shuttle
>I don't care where that guy got the access, I just need his help.
>head through the hop office to get into the bridge, using crush's airlock charger-
>both borgs are headed at me! And an atmos tech? But jordi was an engineer or assistant! and another guy as well?!
>Retreat to have the medborg follow me, stunning it and unloading into it with the detective revolver. No idea how I didn't emp myself with the ion carbine.
>hurt somewhat since jordi shot me with a stechkin and I only had riot armor, hurt a lot more since the disease has been killing me the entire time
>a moth comes in and starts shooting as well! I shout a quick explanation in case he's confused and take the distraction as a chance to use my last synthflesh patch
>run back in to finish off the other borg, I toss a flashbang into the conference room but by the time it goes off the moth has killed both of the humans
>moth is bleeding but I'm out of meds
>the masks of our enemies are removed, jordi's friend was crush!
>the moth is lumin lux, and he takes some solace knowing that was the guy who emagged his APC.
>now to deal with the AI.. since this is box, it's on the bridge with us.
>Lumin is easily destroying the turrets one by one by using telekinesis, xray, and a fire axe, while I mostly worry about what the disease is doing to me
>But I'm an officer! This is my job!! I have an ion carbine and a recharging laser gun!!! I can help-
>I try to shoot one of the turrets with a laser gun, but I forget that I'm dual wielding, shoot myself with the emp, and stop my synthetic heart.
>The moth almost seems to fail to notice my insignificant death and effortlessly takes out the rest of the turrets.
>The AI points out that it is a mere victim of circumstance, and Lumin points out that they don't have time for this before slicing the ai until it makes the loud beepy noises and it bluescreens.
>Lumin walks by my body, pauses, and picks me up.
>I'm revived on the shuttle and mostly feel like dead weight. but we lived!

I guess dealing with a subverted AI, two borgs, and two humans isn't normally that great, but doing it as the sole member of the security team, with dysfunctional organs, with a disease rapidly degenerating my body, is one of the most impossible fights I've ever had and I'm so glad that moth mopped it up. Being a retry of a fight I lost due to hubris earlier made it one of the most important fights ever to me as well. I wouldn't have noticed jordi's pda messages to crush the janitor if I hadn't decided to give crush a trial and look deeply into his stuff, but I wouldn't have had my suit sensors left on if I didn't summarily almost-execute jordi at the right time to distract his borgs.
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Tarchonvaagh
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Tarchonvaagh » #563221

THINK
ADAPT
confused rock
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by confused rock » #563236

JORDI PART 2

>Jordi is carp bundle murderbone man
>find most of his dead victims to revive
>one moth who helped me figure out what was going on is still missing and after I catch Jordi I interrogate him for the moth's location
>FUCK YOU THIS SPACE COMBAT SUCKS FUCK YOU
>he goes catatonic
>my coworker found the moth so his waste of my time was for nothing

JORDI PART 3

amazing deadchat quotes from the round where me and the moth stopped him

John_Pootis/(Jordi Johnson) (DEAD) "god damn it is a lizard"
John_Pootis/(Jordi Johnson) (DEAD) "is a lizard is such a fuckin powergamer officer"
John_Pootis/(Jordi Johnson) (DEAD) "how did is a lizard not die there"
John_Pootis/(Jordi Johnson) (DEAD) "what the fuck"
John_Pootis/(Jordi Johnson) (DEAD) "he has a cancer virus and we already killed him once"
John_Pootis/(Jordi Johnson) (DEAD) "or more like an insta kill virus"
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confused rock
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by confused rock » #571106

>station engineer on pubby
>get off arrivals shuttle
>walking past the security checkpoint
>bluespace anomaly
>get teleported to space outside the ai sat
>lizard to so I freeze to death in about 3 seconds
>death speedrun

that was such stupid fucking bullshit that I couldn't help but laugh.
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wesoda25
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by wesoda25 » #580423

Maybe not awesome, but just fun.

>vampire assistant
>infiltrate prison and drink the blood of a prisoner a few times before he runs off screaming
>leave and become a psychologist
>go to brig and see that warden is deputizing the prisoner
>"Varden I should do a mental evaluation first, to make sure he is stable"
>Me and the prisoner alone in interrogation
>Ask him why he wanted to become an officer
>He was bored, "And there was a vampire in prison"
>"Describe him to me"
>"Shaved hairs red eyes"
>I'm wearing a hat and prescription glasses now
>"Tell me more about his eyes tim"
>Count Cobb whispers, "Did they look like this?"
>epic reveal epic shoving match and flight from security when warden barges in
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by XivilaiAnaxes » #580452

Calibraptor wrote:>Mention in OOC after round-end that I ended up sparing him
>Somebody calls me a shitter
>They weren't wrong
>Manuel
>Be me
>Warden Strange
>Clown being a jackass slipping people
>Gets brought to brig
>Captain tells us to let him go
>Fucking retard clownphilic captain
>Clown claims someone stole his shoes
>Detective later finds clown shoes
>Tell clown to come to brig to get his shoes
>Detective begs me not to give him the shoes back
>He's my detective so he's my bro and I gotta stick by my bro
>Detective also happens to steal a lawyer's briefcase
>Lawyer representing clown comes to brig with said clown raging about his shoes and briefcase
>Taunt them by taking the clown shoes out to show them through the glass and then going out back
>Throw briefcase with shoes out the airlock
>Captain walks into brig while lawyer is going nuts, literally walks in on me coming out of the airlocks
>"WARDEN STOLE THE SHOES!!"
>"no i didnt what shoes?"
>Captain sits around trying to mediate for 5 minutes or so before being called off to something important
>"Oh thank god, lets get a space suit and throw the shoes somewhere that isn't in sight of a window"
>Captain is still in brig when I return in space-suit
>"FUCK!" internally - he doesn't notice oh thank god and eventually he leaves none the wiser

>Chaplain comes in asking to duel the captain
>Fuck clown lovers I'm dedicating my life to Nox and his crusade
>I get him some g a m e r gear for his "duel" and let him know me and the detective are all for him
>Lawyer comes back demands a "trial"
>No way these bozos have anything on me so whatever
>Nobody is dumb enough to actually set up a trial so I agree if the captain organises it
>HE FUCKING DOES
>Whatever, I let the Nox know "yo he's in the court go get him while this is going on
>Me and detective in court room
>Clown apparently went space walking and found his fucking shoes
>Has my krav maga glove prints and some detective lizard prints all over said shoes
>FUCK FUCK FUCK I try to eat the paper with the evidence in the middle of the trial with everyone watching
>Not coded as a function I'm fucking boned

>QM throws a flashbang into the courtroom
>Oh thank fuck lets gtfo
>Take my gloves off while running around like a headless chicken
>Throw my krav maga gloves into the kitchen - not my krav maga gloves they got stolen never wore them you can't prove shit
>"I never fucking gave these to you"

>Back to court after the QM is nowhere to be found
>LionelHutz.gif
>"You think I'm wearing Krav maga gloves do you? Is that what you think? Well I have something to tell you, something that may shock and discredit you! I'm not wearing gloves at all!"
>Lawyer is either too mad to care or doesn't get the reference and takes it seriously "COURT IS NOT IN SESSION YET"
>Captain starts proceedings again and doors are immediately bolted and the room starts panic siphoning - Rogue AI
>Oh THANK god for that
>Almost die from suffocation
>Find HoS being murdered in a hallway
>Chaplain has a fucking Mech
>"Oh hi"
>Get gunned down in the hall like the degenerate I am

>Chaplain was head-rev all along
>I was a massive shitter who basically singlehandedly killed the head of staff over some clown shoes the detective didnt want to give back
>Amazing game
Stickymayhem wrote:Imagine the sheer narcisssim required to genuinely believe you are this intelligent.
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Fiz Bump
Joined: Thu Apr 23, 2015 10:00 pm
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Fiz Bump » #585050

>Christmas eve on /tg/
>start a quiet game as assistant
>spawn near maint so go hunting for presents
>pick up a syndie space suit
>then a full infiltrator outfit
>pretty good RNG I think
>declare my gifts over comms so I don't get robusted by sec
>wander over the the bar to open my tree present
>not expecting much since I was lucky in maint
>OH FUCK ITS A SUPERTMATTER SLIVER
>YOU CAN HOLD IT IN YOUR HAND IF YOU UNWRAP IT FROM A PRESENT
>OH FUCK I'M REALLY RADIOACTIVE NOW
>PANIC
>DROP IT OFF AT SCIENCE, IT'S THEIR PROBLEM NOW
>OH FUCK SCIENCE IS RADIOACTIVE
>HOLY SHIT, THAT SCIENTIST GOT DUSTED

>Eventually put it in a locker and drag it to the chapel
>Wow, that's a REALLY radioactive tree
>Captain comes barreling in with a crate
>ITS A SUPERMATTER SHARD
>He has the hot idea to feed the sliver to the shard, that way we get rid of it forever
>Everyone stands back, he opens the crate
>... nothing happens (except that half the chapel starts glowing)
>to encourage it, the cap shoots it a few times
>no luck, we start tossing stools, paper airplanes and shoes at it
>Success! The sliver gets eaten.
>Local plasmen begin worshipping the shard as we wait for the shuttle to arrive
>Plasmen sacrifice a clown NPC to the shard, angry clown planet denizens begin raiding escape in response
>sneak past angry clowns onto shuttle, notice all my hair has fallen out and I'm barfing a lot
>the shard somehow gets to the shuttle and dusts the cap (its how he would have wanted to go)
>engiborg drags shard back to escape
>shuttle departs
>everyone has cancer
>the end
I play Fiz Bump.
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cacogen
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by cacogen » #585276

>QM
>building a bounty cube disposal
>see abductor teleporting in
>immediately announce on radio because i just want to improve cargo for god's sake
>outrun the guy as he tries to stun me
>return to cargo but come face to face with the asshole as he sleeps me but the HoP and a miner rescue me but leave me unconscious and unattended in cargo
>go on internet to wait out the oranges-imposed two minute sleep because i refused to suck up to him
>return almost immediately after the abductor has started dragging me after i've regained consciousness and immediately get stunned and slept again
>wake up handcuffed in locker on the abductor ship with the abductor scientist performing SRS on the HoP
>leave the locker to chat with the abductor, fully expecting to be slept again
>tell him I hate everything they're about, the bullshit baton, abducting me when I'm just trying to improve cargo for god's sake, and that's about it but add that the alien aesthetic is one of my favourites
>instead he just nods along to what I'm saying while finishing up the HoP's new vagina
>HoP has regained consciousness I guess because he tells the abductor they're terrible at this and I wish the HoP the best as he's teleported back down to the station
>eagerly hop onto the abductor's table and lie down because I just want to get back to improving cargo for God's sake
>instead, he teleports out
>I slip the cuffs while lying down, trusting he won't notice when he returns
>he returns with the cargo security officer unconscious and handcuffed and puts them in the same locker I was in
>he teleports out again
>I find the aliens' saw and put it in my bag and uncuff the unconscious officer in the locker before closing it again and lying back down on the table
>the abductor returns and starts doing something on the console and while I'm considering making my move the officer bursts out of the closet like a gay kool-aid man, stun baton in hand and flies across the ship and immediately fucks the guy
>I get off the table and with the alien saw help slaughter him thinking it'll give us a better chance when the second abductor shows up
>but he never does and the first abductor had sighed which seemed to indicate things weren't going so well for them
>celebrate the victory of cargo improvement over antag PvP
>it's short lived however as we realise we're trapped here
>we figure we needed the abductor alive to escape but we don't have a defibrillator so we can't revive it
>the abductor console tells us we're trapped here forever
>eventually the officer mashes buttons on the console while I stand on the telepad and end up being sent to the psychiatrist's office (which seems like an apt place to end up after being abducted)
>I can't get out but the psychiatrist happens to show up and open the door
>I tell the station EXCITEDLY over Common about what just happens but naturally no one cares nearly as much as I do
>return to cargo to find a miner just kind of standing there
>immediately the words come to me: "And so I'm back from outer space."
>assume that unless I drive it home no reference will be understood to have occurred so hackily add: "I just walked in to find you here with that sad look upon your face."
>ask over Common about the security officer who I assume may be trapped on the ship but of course nobody responds
>realise somehow that in all the excitement, after stripping the dead alien I ended up with an alien headset in my toolbelt, which gives me access to all channels
>the other abductor is reported as killed by the captain over Command, and at some point the shuttle is called
>board but consider staying behind to find the cargo officer in case they made it back but had died or something
>eventually notice him beside me on the shuttle, tells me he ended up in the psychiatrist's office too
>our journey to Centcom is not safe and uneventful as something bombs the shuttle and I nearly die
>and then Centcom is filled with admin bullshit which despite hiding in a plant I end up getting killed by
Sometimes this game can end up generating compelling stories but it usually relies on player characters being conscious for them to participate. None of this would've been possible had the abductor just chain slept us like they usually do which is in their best interest but is a shitty fucking experience for the player (less to do than death) and removes any chance to roleplay.
technokek wrote:Cannot prove this so just belive me if when say this
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wesoda25
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by wesoda25 » #600664

>Hercules the clown
>Swear fealty to captain and pledge my sword (baguette) and shield to them
>Rise as a knight, sworn to protect the station
>Pray to the gods for strength and receive it
>Do knight shit for a while, deliver the fair maiden pun-pun to her home, etc
>Notice that there are a shit ton of bananas all over the halls, decide to look into it
>Security thinks its me and want me on a meathook
>Head to robotics to inquire about bananium, nothing
>See curator come in from space, ask them, they show me bananium
>Try and share my lead, an officer tries to arrest me, a brave MD comes to my rescue
>Officer ends up taking MD to brig, I try and save them
>Officer says fuck it and starts lethaling me
>Captain comes to my defense and lethals the officer in return
>Other officers arrest captain, captain calls for help
>I try and help, cap almost escapes, I end up cuffed in sec office
>Captain is now screaming for the crew to kill security
>Absolute chaos in brig
>Cap ends up in perma, ive almost uncuffed myself
>CMO suddenly attacks HOS, I'm the only one around
>Come to HOS' defense at the last second and help subdue the CMO
>Shuttle arrives, healing HOS who has been drugged with morphine
>Don't make it in time, bring HOS to teleporter
>A DRAGON appears
>Beelines for HOS, I attack them with my blade and try and distract them
>Dragon ends up killing me, HOS soon after, round ends
>Round end delayed for 5 minutes

Can you even call it a good clown round if you didn't trigger a civil war and the complete loss of order?
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Pandarsenic
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Pandarsenic » #600667

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(2:53:35 AM) scaredofshadows: how about head of robutts
I once wrote a guide to fixing telecomms woohoo
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nianjiilical
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by nianjiilical » #600669

-be clown
-pick up a pie at the start of the round for customary self defense
-40 mins later
-rampaging antag killing half the crew, run into him at evac
-as he chases down the chaplain, hit him with a pie in the airlocks leading to space
-drop peel so he slips
-some absolute madlad runs up with a fucking supermatter shard crate
-opens it on top of me
-the antag walks into the supermatter shard
-he smoothly closes it
-centcom sends us both trophies
human: ramon chivara
ai: shitpost generator
borg: shite-115
clown: donk tonkler
mime: beautiful noise

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Omega_DarkPotato » #600670

Ewe Kant, Medical Doctor
Ewe Kant, traitor.
Objectives: Kill chaplain, Get mols of plasma.

Radlaser, cash, get ampu shears with cash.
Walk to chapel, observe chaplain fucking with his altar, tell him he has appendicitis after giving him the good ol radlaser
Decapitate him in the corner of medical and bodybag his corpse.
Encounter acting cap (RD) ask for CMO as I am the only MD on this lowpoop shift
get CMO access, add toxins to myself
toxins for some reason refuses to work, hack in, put plasma into an oxygen tank hidden in my backpack so they won't think I'm a fucking traitor

Halfway through shift getting bored watching all comms go by with my encryption key
Sec trying to investigate the dead chaplain
ends up with a det coming into my office (as cmo) asking me where I picked up the chaplain (an unfortunate roundstart suicide)
they rule it as a suicide, det unfortunately ends up headless in medbay (what a shame) (nobody cared) (he wasn't killed by me surprisingly but it ended up being helpful)

commit to getting an emag instead of deciding to go the "bomb shuttle" route, emag comms console, send message to Operative Command asking for nuke codes since I could easily grab diskie
they tell me to just grab diskie but they can't gimme the codes

I kill captain after telling him he has appendicitis (this is way too easy) (he was decapitated at the bottom of medbay, with a full med treatment center on delta)
I stuff his body in a morgue, and his head in a personal locker in the afk medbay zone (nobody checks em)

I tell OPCOM, they tell me to go get an unused rainbow slime extract
I walk into xenobio and take it and thank the xenobiologist who says you're welcome in return (he's very nice)

I tell OPCOM, they tell me to go kill waldo
I announce to the crew that waldo is wanted for tax evasion and genocide, we kill waldo with his own bat

INTERPOL arrives searching for waldo's corpse which has already been sent back to syndicate command
They start arresting security because security attempted to stop them from being shitsec 2

HOP discovers me messaging syndicate command through the emag console noise but I amazingly somehow convince him otherwise by lying through my teeth like a badass

Shuttle is eventually called because INTERPOL and sec are fighting and we also have pirates bombing brig

I ask for the nuke codes after the shuttle hits the half-way point
they give me the nuke codes
I nuke the station

Ewe Kant Loves You!
Super Aggro Crag wrote:This is what u get when u let people into your community
play opus: echo of starsong
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by cacogen » #600696

>be janitor
>never earned the legendary janitor cape before
>lowpop manuel tramstation round
>not much blood on the station
>get to work mopping maintenance
>not a lot of tiles in tram maintenance and the other janitor is using the floor buffer which cleans quickly
>after about 20 minutes finally get enough XP to order the cape
>want to find somebody to order it in front of
>cannot find anyone anywhere
>eventually find a lizard in medbay foyer
>tell the lizard to behold, medbay slave
>the lizard plays along, waiting expectantly
>i order the cape
>this delivery pod thing takes far longer than the ones used by the beacons people start with
>stand under it to tempt fate as i assume it's harmless like the ones from those beacons
>expect to see it coming in from the top so i can just move aside anyway
>after a long delay, appears immediately out of nowhere
>instantly gibs me
>brain, tongue and some other bodyparts are thrown into the nearby disposal bin by the force
>brain goes through disposals to the delivery room in cargo
>the conveyor belt is on, brain goes past the quartermaster who happens to be in the delivery room and gets flushed again
>goes to disposals, which also has the belt on
>gets flushed again and flung into space
>hits the window of a ship where the hop's body and other trash is floating
>ghost and move back to medbay foyer
>see other janitor appear and clean up my blood and viscera with the floor buffer
>the pod leaves with my cape
>brain is never found
technokek wrote:Cannot prove this so just belive me if when say this
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Rohen_Tahir
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Rohen_Tahir » #605952

>be me
>go sec because there is only one officer
>Metastation
>go to brig
>repair armsky on the way to the brig, expending baton
>no gear left
>have no baton
>help a janitor smash open the contraband locker
>it's just one makarov
>he takes it
>search for weapons
>find flashbang and a bunch of tear gas grenades
>find out on radio it's nukies
>do a lot of irrelevant walking around and bypassing plasmafires through the disposals system
>be in cargo autolathe room
>there is one other person in the room and one more in the hallway
>spot nukie in HoP office
>try to shoot him with disabler
>fail
>activate flashbang and run up to him through a burning hallway with said flashbang in backpack
>the two people from earlier run up to him and do... stuff, whatever it was it wasn't very effective
>nukie moves away too fast
>flashbang doesn't do shit (according to logs, it was actually a barier grenade)
>nukie is killing us with esword and lasers
>It is obvious that we lost
>knocked down and almost in crit
>activate one of the grenades in my backpack
>remember they're all teargas
> :honkman:
>HE PLACES THE ESWORD ON THE TABLE
>Knocked down and looking a lot like a corpse, take it
>hit him with his own esword unthil horizontal
>Tear gas grenade goes off as I'm doing it
>He dies and explodes
>Whisper "FOR CHRISTMAS!" to succumb
>The dude from autolathe room survives
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Anuv
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Anuv » #610398

I rolled psychologist and got a P.R.O.V.E.
Decided I'd take a picture of a fake cult scene and send it to the crew to stir some shit.
Got a crayon for a rune, a monkey to sacrifice, other stuff.
Stopped by the bar to give Orion Trail a few futile attempts for a toy cult knife.
First game, first victory, I got it.
I know it's not one in a million but it sure felt like it.
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PKPenguin321
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by PKPenguin321 » #649371

I can't believe that there have been zero (0) awesome stories on /tg/station in exactly 1 year and 2 days. How sad!
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well.
tell the best admin how good he is
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PKPenguin321
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by PKPenguin321 » #649373

Zilenan91 wrote: Sun Nov 01, 2015 8:49 pm >be me
>assistant.
>non-antag
>hatch a plan to become Chainsaw Man
>Ask AI to open EVA and it does it
>grab dat plasteel
>break into cargo and print a circular saw
>prime tool storage, get a welding tool and cable coils
>go to medbay to get surgery
>craft that shit on the surgery table
>have the surgery
>*infernal chainsaw noises
>suddenly shadowlings
>hear screaming of shadowlings in arrivals
>Chainsaw Man gives no fucks
>run to arrivals maint with an assload of lights on
>corner a sling in the bend between detectives office and the brig hallway
>he glares and nearly dies from my lights alone
>I get unstunned and destroy him with my chainsaw arm
>he gets gibbed
>all the slings later die and we evac


FURTHER ADVENTURES OF CHAINSAW MAN

>be me
>be metastation
>see syndicate bomb getting defused above bridge
>want to do Chainsaw Man again
>go to the goody hut above cargo
>my eyes glaze over
>there's slings wtf
>Xhuis antag traded to be a sling
>decon one of the rwalls back there not leading to space for the chainsaw
>greys-her-tide and I get thralled, we want to give Xhuis sling a chainsaw augmentation
>he has chitin carapace on so we can't make a sling with a chainsaw arm
>fug
>we get the QM before he can yell
>thralling thralling thralling
>eventually we have a shitload of thralls, the hallways are filled with N20, and there are dead and suffocating people everywhere from traitors
>I find a safe spot in maint and start giving CPR to the people in crit from oxyloss from N20
>cuff them all and thrall them
>suddenly NWANWALKDASDFLKAEL;SKAJDF
>ascension
>Xhuis thralls all the ERT, death squids, and crewmembers as we escape on the shuttle
>greentext
>tfw you were never able to be chainsaw man
>was still a great round

As it turns out, slings are pretty strong when the station is utterly fucked.
Tatsuki Fujimoto owes this post royalties
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well.
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
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