>Roboticist
>do research because everyone else is running around like headless chicken
>'Must be teamantag' going through my head
>get gangster penned in the lab right infront of an officer
Same round.
> Be Rodrik Svenson, engineer extraordinare.
> Played SS13 for almost a year now, still don't know how to set up singulo. Grab a hardsuit, decide to wire the solars like usual.
> After wiring them for a while, head back to station. Apparently, it's gangs - decide to wander the halls for a bit, trying to figure out who are the leaders. Hildegarde Haas is acting pretty fucking suspicious, if you ask me.
> Also, literally see a scientist converting someone in RnD and telling him to spray. When he sees me, he closes the shutters. Whatever.
> Get slipped by the clown, someone pens me and runs away. I am now in the Waffle gang. Who the fuck names his gang a Waffle gang?
> Try to search for my gang leader, because this lazy ass jerk gave me neither a shiv, nor a spray.
> Search for him.
> Apparently, someone gassed the entire sec with plasma. Good news, for a change!
> Search some more.
> Find a broken Beepsky and his stun baton just lying on the ground. Apparently, some people don't know that if you add a power cell to a depowered baton, it begins functioning again. Pick it up.
> Begin suspecting he's dead already.
> "Clown, have you seen our boss?" "Nope."
> Eventually randomly run into him in the maints. He asks me to let him out, refuse to do so until he gives me a fucking spray can.
> Grab my hardsuit, grab an air tank, jetpack around the station like crazy, tagging everything. Consider raiding armory, but decide that at this point it's probably already raided, and I don't feel like checking.
> I did not go to the armory, so the armory went to me. I find a spaced body of a sec officer, who has a taser and three whooping batons in her bag. Loot it all, space her body a bit more thoroughly.
> Our boss hasn't been heard from for a while (again), and I barely see our gangsters on the station. Meanwhile, Gib tags start appearing fucking everywhere.
> Consider suiciding, because our gang is just so utterly fucked.
> Hell no, I'm not some dipshit, who'll chicken out in the sight of danger. I will fight as long I live!
> Make a false wall in engineering sec outpost, so I'll be able to recharge my taser easily.
> Engineering is full of gib tags, and those guys are setting up defenses. Wait until I have alone time with one of the engineers, shoot him, cuff him, go to outer space.
> He screams that I don't have evidence of him being a gangster.
> I don't need your stinking evidence.
> After spacing his body, enter the station again by escape airlocks. See an enemy gang leader giving out gear to his underling in the open.
> Tase both, cuff the gang leader, take him to outer space. While he's suffocating, explain how my gang leaders are dead, and now I'm on a war path.
> He begs for mercy and promises to convert me to his gang if I let him live.
> Show no mercy and expect none, that's the way of the real gangster. Search his stuff, find three pens (!), but nothing that useful to me, except for HoP's pda. Try to figure out why does he have it and what are the implications, until I realize that he most likely had an all-access ID. At this point, I've spaced the body already.
> Well, shit.
> Science was a hive of scum and villainy right at the roundstart, so I decide to direct my bloody vengeance there next.
> Enter the station again by science maint. AI is robocop and decides that protecting the innocent actually means being shit, so he bolted and shocked every maint door.
> Whatever, I'm an engineer.
> Find a scientist, tase him, cuff him, space him. Don't strip his headset, so he announces my location all the way to the airlock. On my way back, I meet another guy with a stetchkin, but he goes into outer space too.
> On his way out, he complains about his comrades not rescuing him over the radio. Huh, he still has comrades!
> Suddenly, an announcement from our gang's lieutenant - apparently, she's alive, in medbay and even trying to convert some guys. She asks us not to kill anybody, and I even consider it, but it's really pointless at this point. We're too ridiculously outnumbered and outgunned to show mercy.
> Go deeper into science, find enemy lieutenant. He's armed, but ranged stun is just so ridiculously op in this game, that he just doesn't stand a chance.
> Too late I notice that he's not alone - RD's in his office, and that asshole has a stethckin too. Which he uses to shoot me.
> Thank god cuffing and pulling is so ridiculously OP too - while I tase RD and beat him to death with my trusty stun baton, my second opponent can't move or do anything.
> After I finish murdering them both, I notice that I'm heavily wounded and bleeding.
> Head back to the maint and hear mech noises. Could be Ripley... Or could be Durand. Nope the fuck out.
> Head to medbay - suddenly, see that my gang is actually not all dead. That janitor lieutenant I mentioned earlier is actually still alive - and she even has an assistant and the mime helping.
> Bandage myself, break into chemistry for brute patches, then build a false wall in another sec outpost for taser recharging.
> Suddenly, a guy with a chainsaw arm bursts into the outpost and starts slashing me.
> Uh, okay.
> After I finish looting his body (I admit that the rest of my gang might have helped, but I would be fine without them), I discover that he was an enemy gang lieutenant.
> What a senseless waste of life. Gang war, what is it good for?
> Head back to engineering. It's a real fortress now, where an engineer and the clown have taken refuge. They declared it a neutral ground, safe from gang war. Shrug it off - if they're really not Gib gangers, I don't care.
> Leave.
> Head back to science maint, find our gangster cuffed by an enemy. Said enemy has a taser ready.
> Whip out mine.
> We both successfully graduated from stormtrooper marksmanship academy, so we manage to repeatedly miss each other in a maint that's about two tiles wide. Finally, I come on top, cuff the bastard, uncuff my homie, then space our enemy like usual.
> Go to robotics again, remembering that I didn't space the bodies of the gangsters I've killed - they might be cloned at this point, because I don't think our gangs controls medbay anymore.
> They're still there, lying on the ground.
> See a roboticist in RnD.
> Hello there.
> Miss him three times in a row, decide to conserve remaining shots. Grab a stun baton, try to rush him.
> I need to kill fast, and engineering hardsuit too slow.
> He yaketies away, but randomly stops in the hall to look at me.
> Consider making a shot with a taser, but hesitate for too long, so he runs away.
> I'm sure this won't bite me in the ass in any way possible.
> Wander the station again. Janitor has been quiet for some long ass time, so I suspect she's dead. At least the mime is still alive, but it doesn't seem like he's actually doing anything.
> Gib gang places the dominator in cargo.
> Try to rally our gang (all two of them) to cargo. WAR BOYS, TODAY WE RIDE TO VALHALLA.
> Come to cargo, there's a shitload of armed people there, mime's running around like a headless chicken, while the second gangster didn't show up at all.
> Mech noises.
> Suddenly, Durand.
> NOPE
> Well, at least we had a good run. Those gib pretenders might have won, but...
> Delta alert finished, dominator is destroyed.
> Wut.
> Wander the station, eventually come back to heavily fortified engineering. Clown and false CE are still there.
> Wait a fucking minute, wasn't clown one of us?
> Ask him about it, he answers that he was implanted. Scoff at the traitor, try to exit engineering by CE's office, bump into gibbering clonesick assistant holding an ion rifle. He claims that he's not from Gib gang, that his gang was destroyed, and he came here seeking refuge.
> Might be from the science gang that I've clashed with.
> Try to decide if I'm going to try and talk him into giving his rifle to me so I can destroy the Durand, or just shoot him, murder him and take his stuff like usual.
> Before I make my decision, wild HoS appearts.
> It's Melody Shrew, and apparently she's somehow escaped the Great Gassing of Sec.
> Shoot her first, cuff, to the airlock she goes.
> ...no, I stop halflway.
> Explain the situation, ask her if she implanted the clown. Apparently, the clown - and a couple of other my homies - came to her themselves and asked to be implanted. What a bunch of cowards, I need to kill them later.
> Tell her that she has two choices - either she goes out of the airlock, or she gives her word that she will work for me. She chooses the second option, and I decide to take the risk and uncuff her.
> She does not immediately backstab me. In fact, she actually honors our agreement.
> Okay, the plan is simple - we find our ganghead (the one that is not retarded, the janitor) and clone her.
> Before we even exit the maint, shuttle arrives. Apparently, the drawn out ping-pong that was going on for almost fucking centuries has finally come to an end.
> There goes the cloning plan!
> We head to the sec pods - and two security officers heading to them. Melody notices that they're not implanted and asks if they're from my gang. They're not.
> We rush to the pods, a gunfights ensues, in which we end up victorious. After stepping over the dead bodies of the traitors, we sit down and talk.
> I finally get to describe the first lieutenant of my gang - suddenly, Melody remembers executing her. I answer that I will honor our alliance and not murder her after this revealation.
> We talk some more about death, blood and traitors, until the pod arrives to Centcom.
> Sec lost, gangs lost, the crew lost, everybody lost.
