Stories of rage, tears and regret

[The Ultimate Chimera]

Bottom post of the previous page:

Spoiler:

Posting while the salt is still fresh.

>Start as captain.
>Nuke Ops declare war immediately.
>Only a braindead HoS and warden in sec. Tell warden to give command staff first pick and then hand guns out at his discretion.
>Tell HoP to not give out all access yet.
>Return to bridge to organize the troops. Find the mime walking out of the RCD'd upload with upload boards in-hand.
>Baton him down, confiscate his id and pack and kick him out of the bridge.
>Storm into the HoP's office to find the HoP tied up and Jelli Donut (as a medical doctor) printing 10+ all access cards.
>Try to arrest Jelli, but the HoS runs in too and Jelli escapes in the confusion.
>Drop the shutters, start collecting all access cards off the desk and putting them out of reach.
>Return to my office, and surprise surprise, there is Jelli donut stealing everything that isn't bolted down and smashing into my personal gun case.
>Baton Jelli down, start dragging away, but accidentally drop my baton on a table behind Jelli.
>Jelli takes this opportunity to pick up his own baton and harm intent me with it.
>I assume he is trying to kill me and whip out my sword.
>I stab him a few times before he manages to say "Oops wrong intent"
>As I stop stabbing him, he batons me down, steals my sword and personal gun and runs off.
>I get up, walk down to my office to grab my backup egun, and some gasmasked man runs up behind me, tazes me and cuffs me.
>I get dragged into atmos maint while screaming for help.
>My kidnapper drags me off into a dark corner and strips me completely before grabbing the disk and running off, all without saying a word.
>Random assistant running by grabs my id and headset.
>I break out of my cuffs, ahelp and head back to the bridge.
>Eventually the HoP lets me in and I go to reclaim my spare id from the safe.
>As I approach the safe, the wall explodes, knocking me down.
>I get up, limp to a safe spot and heal up. Eventually I find the HoS and discover that my kidnapper gave him the disk for some reason.
>HoS runs off to fight the ops and I lose track of him.
>Stumble around, encounter my kidnapper (who proceeds to tell me to fuck off), and eventually make my way into maintenance where I find a dying security officer in a low-pressure area.
>Drag the officer into the janitor closet to try and help him, and get dunked by an immovable rod.

It was without a doubt the worst round I have ever played.

Jesus Christ dude, I feel you.

[SpaceInaba]

It was without a doubt the worst round I have ever played.

I was the warden that round and I was fucking confused as to what was going on.
Like why the fuck an assistant would mug the captain and steal the nuke disk?

[Isane]

>Be CE, finally an antag since I still don't know who's dick I have to suck to get it multiple times every night like some people so
>Have to kill someone and hijack the shuttle, decide not to just let out the engine and flood plasma since I'm nice
>Do my job for a while, help my engineer get started on making a super matter engine
>Meanwhile Lynsey is dunking most of security
>Run into her in space, manage to get the codewords out before she kills me, we decide to team up to hijack the shuttle. She needs my blueprints as well
>Help her kill two more people who run into space before they can shout out I'm standing next to Lynsey not dead
>Head to engineering, get the blueprints for her
>Meanwhile a half dozen crew members are filtering in one by one into the engineering foyer, she's killing all of them
>Stand off to the side and watch with Miku Frost, turns out she's a traitor too, we all plan to team up to hijack the shuttle
>Admins/the people Lynsey killed who've been watching as ghosts have other plans, because a 6+ strong ERT led by an admin as a "special agent" with a pulse gun arrive, firing wildly
>Turns out the AI declared me valid since I wasn't running mindlessly at Lynsey by myself to get myself killed
>Try to just run away, only start using my stun baton after getting shot a few times.
>ERT tazes and cuffs me and Miku, execute Lynsey on the spot
>Get dragged to the centcomm shuttle with Miku, they bucklecuff us in but eventually let her unbuckle herself, while the most annoying ERT member obsessively stops me every time I try
>The entire ERT group refuses to even try and stop Miku, eventually she runs out and escapes when someone opens the door
>Left alone with one ERT guy, try and talk my way out or bribe him in the hopes he's not just interested in valids, no dice of course, meanwhile the emergency shuttle arrives, departs, and the round ends

One of the rare times I finally get antag, actually manage to use codewords and team up with others, and actually have a chance of hijacking the shuttle, and of course it's one of the few times admins decide to send an ERT after a single traitor.

[FantasticFwoosh]

> Warden Morgan Cucker raring to go on metastation
> SHIEET, OPS DECLARE WAR, i look on the cams - caps id unsecured i drag the nearest borg, force my way inside, secure the nuke disk and spare ID
> I hid the nuke disk in a toilet cistern as part of a master plan
> The plan was to throw all other crowbars off the station so they wouldn't be able to get into it or atleast stall for time (I didnt announce it but waiting for them to come to the bathrooms and perhaps slip them on the showers was also on the cards) and disarm them when they got the crowbars out to pry out the disk
> Plan works for the first 15 mins as esword and shield ops fan out aimlessly murderboning.
> Plan is enacted and its monitored, but when the OPS roll around they home in, the only person in position in the bathrooms is a one armed detective to defend the nuke disk.
> I die to a shield op and a shotgun to the face outside dorms, they get the better of me barely.
> Needless to say it did not work and station goes down the shitter.
> OOC erupts.

[TheColdTurtle]

What did you think would happen

[FantasticFwoosh]

What did you think would happen

Ops would open and close and perhaps C4 the disk out of existance trying to get the toilet open in confusion, and completely overlook bringing a crowbar with them, alternatively the fully armed crew would barge in and catch them in the act. A change of pace to yakkety saxxing incompetent captains taking needless risks.

> Possibly get a distinguished medal and revel in laughter at nuke flops, by abusing the new server player babbies hard.

[chickenboy]

> Warden Morgan Cucker raring to go on metastation

Meanwhile, on the Ops end

> One OP wants war so he grabs the button and presses it, much to everyones dismay except mine
> We gear up while listening in on station, Cucker says his master plan out loud, think nothing of it at the time
> Once on station, we go in and start wreaking havoc across station
> I personally move through maint, dunking crew members with shotgun as i move
> heal up a couple of times and fall back and forth waging war against the station
> eventually myself and another op find ourselves in the toilet, a lone one armed detective tries to limp away with no weapons
> Friendly op ends his misery with lmg
> we both stare at the toilet and our pinpointers, confused as fuck for a moment as to why the disk is COMPLETELY UNSECURE
> w.e pull out the crowbars we START WITH and take disk
> Ez win
> Laugh hard in real life and ooc chat

Cucker succesfully cucked his own station

[DemonFiren]

The toilet cistern is a secure area (moonlighting is NOT OK)

[FantasticFwoosh]

Im VERY sure i didnt say it out loud, though i might have slipped my tongue. I nearly passed out from laughing when it was over and the reactions and revelations of what had transpired started popping up on OOC. I was having a ok robust day up until then with hero detective first round of the day over 2 rounds after devolving into this.

[ShadowDimentio]

>Be nop
>We declare war
>Gear up with a SMG, shieldsuit, eshield and ammo to spare
>I'm so ready
>Launch
>Scout out the station, trying to locate the disk
>It's in the center of the station, unmoving
>Did
>Did these autists forget to grab the disk off the table
>Did they forget their ONLY JOB?
>Emag into the teleroom but get spotted
>Shit, shit
>The last door is bolted
>SHIT, SHIT
>The crew are swarming
>SHIIIIIIIT
>Engi with a shotgun among the crew
>Take a buckshot shot
>Thankfully the shieldsuit ate most of it
>Jump into the teleporter to escape
>It's the AI sat
>It's blown to shit
>Get ready to gat down anyone dumb enough to follow me
>The shotgineer was dumb enough, and an atmos tech with a riot shield
>Shoot them both dead
>Reflect over my options
>I have two C4
>Those are my options
>Sneak back up to the teleporter
>Nobody sees me
>C4 the door to the cap's room
>Cap's just standing there
>Gun him down and flee with the body
>Realize once I'm in atmos that she doesn't have dat fukken disk
>FUCK
>Go back in
>It's pointing to the bridge
>With the power of thermals see like 6 of the most robust people on the station skittering about like angry wasps
>Time to rumba
>C4 the door down and start shooting them
>My shieldsuit and eshield are absorbing everything they have
>My SMG however is shredding them
>Suddenly Cayenne and another op come running in behind me
>The fight being pretty much over, I check my pointer to see who has the disk
>Nobody has it
>It's in the upload
>Cayenne and the op run in and get shredded by the las turrets, the op explodes
>Walk in and am invincible thanks to my eshield
>Find the disk
>...In a pile of containers
>Fish it out
>Go to leave
>Realize that the AI just locked me in
>Realize I have no C4 left
>Realize that there's no equipment in here to break out
>Realize that there's no escape as the escape ship arrives and leaves without me

Here lies the little awp that could, and did, but still failed.

Never embark without enough C4 kids.

[Slignerd]

> Captain
> upload a trusted custom lawset that always works perfectly, instructing the AI to 1: protect the station and the crew and 2: serve the crew, with priority defined by chain of command.
> the AI spergs out about how the laws are "shitty and ambiguous" and decides to use it as an excuse to disregard them entirely, because blanket terms apparently mean that you can even do the exact opposite.
> turns lethals on, then bolts, shocks, depowers and siphons upload, because those are apparently in crew's best interest somehow
> goes on to talk shit, two fuckwit security officers decide to play along with its bullshit as long as it gives them an excuse to unzip their tasers against the captain and choose to hold me accountable for the AI's shitty behavior
> literally stunned in the hallway by one of those two officers the moment they saw me, brought to a brig cell
> while security is busy jerking off to how they got to brig the captain, a detective actually does something and breaks into the upload to turn it back to Asimov
> since the AI seems to have calmed down, I resist the temptation to just order it to kill itself for its earlier shittery and instead just question it about what reasoning it had to justify its earlier actions.
> the AI asks to talk about it in my office, but instead chooses to bolt me down
> seing as it does dumb shit even under Asimov, bolting people down after already putting everyone through all that trouble, along with the reports that it actively tries to kill lizards, I succumb to the temptation and just law it to "shut down immediately"
> the AI goes the "I DON'T KNOW WHAT IMMEDIATELY MEANS, IT IS NOT DEFINED, FOR ALL I KNOW IT MEANS I CAN SUICIDE AT ANY POINT I WANT" route, typical of its earlier "interpretations"
> still has time to turn turrets on before the "immediately" happens, tasers and lasers alike
> gets me killed to a portal storm syndicate mob
> all this time, no admins on, no responses to multiple ahelps I made during that time
> bring it to supportbus, the whole thing gets completely ignored and suppressed by admin shitposts

Where are silicon bans when we need them and why are admins so useless lately? That whole thing was utterly pitiful.

[killerx09]

Something something ban requests something something closed down something something "deal with it"

[Slignerd]

Hard to deal with it when two rounds in a single day consist of non-antags being pure shit, and getting utterly fucked because of them.

[MimicFaux]

Jesus Christ that AI.
Next time, please get a hold of a name so that we can track down offenders. If it wasn't malf that's a pretty quick way to lose silicon privileges

[FantasticFwoosh]

> Captain
> I uploaded a shoddy lawset with no gurantee of not being manipulated by AI as per poor, instructing the AI to 1: protect the station and the crew and 2:may as well ignore law 2 and state law 1 all the time to EVERY decision because I don't know how to contextually write laws that wont be abused as captain by flaunting my access to make bad decisions that make everyone's life on station worse.

Slig you literally got arrested as cap that round for messing with its laws (security and AI agreed captain was a threat but the HOS let you go) and the AI was cool with co-operating with sec for the rest of the round, it also got reset to asimov shortly after. "Protect the station" is too broad without a definition of what is and what isn't a threat (or even a station, derelict is also a station) and especially when you dont define humans and just use broad terms like 'crew' (which could mean anything on board or when the AI starts to assotiate things with whatever it likes, such as taking law 1 literally as a super cotton wool law for staff as "station protectables")

Asimov is structured with machine logic as to not overwrite the previous law in a set of statements but instead reference them logically and coherently

1. You must protect human life forms
2. you must serve human life forms unless they pose a immediate risk to themselves via their command (see law 1), although you complicitly know when people are asking for you, your mandatory trigger word is "law 2" addressed to you.
3. you must stop people dunking your shit and none-lethally restrain them if they are human (otherwise suggest they file a law 2 and comply with dunking)

Vs your laws slig.

1.Yeah go do whatever, just keep the station safe mang via whatever means, dunk and valid whoever you like, because you are THE LAW. You are not required to listen to anyone because you know better, and the silly cap wrote in a inefficient and flawed non-servitude lower priority law this one overrules anyway. If you act asimov its out of courtesy.

2. Something something station crew, ignore this because law 1 basically gives you free will to your open ended discretion and you can overrule it because law priority, only use this in extreme emergencies like someones dying or some shit. Whether or not you actually do anything else or act like a total cuck is not your problem as long as it doesn't trample over law 1 or grief.

If the AI was being bwoinkably dumb, then you gave it the room to be stupid. It should be punished for it actions in asmimov but was well within its rights and means to act that way in your lawset. Remember, acting asimov on free will is courtesy, not policy slig. Same goes for AI's responding to lizards, they are not required to do that shit but they do it out of courtesy.

[Slignerd]

2. Server Rule 1: "Don't be a dick out of character" applies for law interpretation. Act in good faith to not ruin a round for other players unprompted.

Yeah, it's not like an AI thinking like you do is literally against the rules. Let's also ignore that the AI also decided to slaughter all lizards as soon as the shift begun.

Let's hear it from you. How does doing what that AI did protect the crew's well-being? As far as I know, turning lasers against the station's captain doesn't really serve that purpose, neither is security acting moronic like you did because you don't like the laws. AI going rogue because "theoretically I can, if I bullshit my way into claiming this benefits the crew somehow even though it clearly does not" isn't really justified at all.

You are not required to listen to anyone because you know better, and the silly cap wrote in a inefficient and flawed non-servitude lower priority law this one overrules anyway.

Something something station crew, ignore this because law 1 basically gives you free will to your open ended discretion and you can overrule it because law priority, only use this in extreme emergencies like someones dying or some shit. Whether or not you actually do anything else or act like a total cuck is not your problem as long as it doesn't trample over law 1 or grief.

Yeah, because that somehow serves the crew's well-being, allowing it to override Law 2... how exactly? You can't really explain it without trying to wiggle your way into acting like an asshole.

[DemonFiren]

ITT: Slig whines again because he can't into silicons.

[Slignerd]

ITT: Slig whines again because he can't into silicons.

I'm fine with silicons, it's simply people like you, Fwoosh and the AI in question that act absolutely retarded. Never had any problem with other AIs besides you and the one I described, because usually players seem to at least try to be sensible.

[DemonFiren]

See, just like I've never had any problems with anyone besides you.
Has it occured to you that you may be wrong?

[Slignerd]

Not after dozens of rounds where the AIs with those laws perform excellently, with very occasional shitty players turning up to be a major disappointment.

Actually, I think the problem I had with you was because I didn't change your laws, so you went full on "HUMAN HARM" and started breaking silicon policy on your own to punish for past harm dealt to a now-dead corpse of an assistant who assaulted people with spears. Using "preventive measures" as an excuse to ignore Law 2 orders. Another "I have Law 1, so I can pretend Law 2 doesn't exist", I guess?

You know how the AIs don't have to punish security for a killing a murderous traitor once the traitor's already dead? It's exactly the same thing.

I would have considered that I'm wrong, if it didn't come from people with such shitty playstyle.

[FantasticFwoosh]

2. Server Rule 1: "Don't be a dick out of character" applies for law interpretation. Act in good faith to not ruin a round for other players unprompted.

Yeah, it's not like an AI thinking like you do is literally against the rules. Let's also ignore that the AI also decided to slaughter all lizards as soon as the shift begun.

Let's hear it from you. How does doing what that AI did protect the crew's well-being? As far as I know, turning lasers against the station's captain doesn't really serve that purpose, neither is security acting moronic like you did because you don't like the laws. AI going rogue because "theoretically I can, if I bullshit my way into claiming this benefits the crew somehow even though it clearly does not" isn't really justified at all.

If that's true about lizard killing, the AI was a jackass anyway and should be dealt with seperately; but you're the one who should be bwoinked for making that valid in-law behaviour of free will by loose to no guidelines of 'do what you think is best' law 1. As far as sec was concerned, we eventually found a way to wriggle around it by 'suggesting' that things were good for the station and actually talking and negotiating with the AI to help clean up the cult that round. The AI and sec were against you Slig for doing something so dumb so soon, and it co-operated fully with us because it saw us as station protection guardians, not some captain asserting "MUH AUTHORITY, LOOK AT MY MEME VALIDHUNT ENABLING LAWS I WROTE IN CRAYON AND UPLOADED ON ROUNDSTART" like a loose cannon rather than a responsible captain who secures the disk, tries to atleast identify who works here then does things reactionally rather than meta rushing "GOTTA STOP THOSE ROUNDSTART ANTAGS WITH MY MEME LAWS THAT LET THE AI VALID"

Thats actually pretty meta when its phrased like that huh?

I wasn't aware of lizard murder but you were both cucks for enabling each other to go act stupid. Reaching in and putting in meme laws might be typical of captains during rounds but such a loose law leading the complications that happened with the AI player also being a shitter is actually griefing and position abuse. Asimov works perfectly fine, leave it alone.

If you wanted a AI that acts on gut feeling and personal discretion to what is 'protection' , use (regrettably saying this) Paladin rather than that flaw pile of policy tripe since it has SOME advanced structure.

#rantover.

Not after dozens of rounds where the AIs with those laws perform excellently, with very occasional shitty players turning up to be a major disappointment.

Actually, I think the problem I had with you was because I didn't change your laws, so you went full on "HUMAN HARM" and started breaking silicon policy on your own to punish for past harm dealt to a now-dead corpse of an assistant who assaulted people with spears. Using "preventive measures" as an excuse to ignore Law 2 orders.

Another "I have Law 1, so I can pretend Law 2 doesn't exist"? I would have considered that I'm wrong, if it didn't come from people with such shitty playstyle.

Thats not the AI following your laws, that's the AI being courteously good AI's anyway when given (essentially) free will via gut feelings with a simple objective of keeping the station safe. This is example when you put a shitter on the wheel and put down the pedal to grief as hard as you can as AI with green lights go.

You can't overwrite law 1 with a law 2 slig. It does exist but if you're citing the more important first law (or Ion law) the second law will NEVER suceed the first law in a logic argument.

Thats like telling golem "Yeah go do whatever you're free, you dont have to listen to me" then telling it to go do something, as soon as the first issue is stated, its no longer obliged to do anything for you. Then its all down to discretion and courtesy of the golem to process any further requests off its own intuition. AI's are meant to be SLAVED to the station because its a dangerous tier of silicon.

[Slignerd]

You are complaining about the captain changing laws. In spite of the fact that changing laws is entirely within captain's authority. On a server where assistants regularly "AI open" their way into captain's office early in the shift. I do make it a rule of thumb to only change the lawset to custom when I see a hint of trouble, you know. The fact that AI started the shift with "KILL KILL KILL" and started talking about how it plans to kill lizards throughout the shift was exactly such a hint.

Thats not the AI following your laws, that's the AI being courteously good AI's anyway when given (essentially) free will via gut feelings with a simple objective of keeping the station safe. This is example when you put a shitter on the wheel and put down the pedal to grief as hard as you can as AI with green lights go.

Considering it's literally told to act in the crew's best interest, AIs being courteous is exactly what the laws order it to do anyway. It's fine when the AI uses it's better judgment, but "lel, I will set the turrets to lethal while the captain is still inside and then claim it serves the crew somehow" is simply looking for a way to grief, and nothing else - it wasn't about legitimate interpretation, it was actively trying to be shit with its laws. I'm actually sure that everyone besides you and Siserith understood that.

You can't overwrite law 1 with a law 2 slig. It does exist but if you're citing the more important first law (or Ion law) the second law will NEVER suceed the first law in a logic argument.

But you also can't ignore Law 2 unless you have a very good case for a direct contradiction with Law 1. I don't believe the AI had any reasoning of the sort at all. Do you?

The most disappointing thing is that now some of you guys are bound to repeat that behavior out of spite, whenever I actually use that lawset again. To try and claim that a directive to protect the station and the crew somehow gives you free will to fuck around, ignore the directive telling you to serve crew, and screw over anyone you choose to declare incompetent, no doubt.

[Screemonster]

it's an "AI breaks the don't be a dick rule by taking a good-faith lawset as an excuse to murderbone" episode

with a subplot of complete autists needing a fucking written and enumerated constitution with chapter and verse to tell them basic human interaction

[D&B]

Can you guys like, shut up or something.

[Not-Dorsidarf]

it's an "AI breaks the don't be a dick rule by taking a good-faith lawset as an excuse to murderbone" episode

with a subplot of complete autists needing a fucking written and enumerated constitution with chapter and verse to tell them basic human interaction

Usually I'm pretty hard on the side of AIs for creative law interpretation but yeah thats pretty fucking hardcore Rule 1 violation on its part, even if you can somehow argue that "Execute the captain and half the crew" = "Protect the station".

[Okand37]

Reminds me of a point when an AI's only law was 'Be someone the crew can lookup to.' It tried to argue that by killing everyone, they would be forced to look up to it from the floor as they were dying.

[TheColdTurtle]

That is actually pretty clever

[killerx09]

But what if they die facedown?

Or sideways?

[ShadowDimentio]

That's absolutely admissible on the basis of being clever

[MimicFaux]

Painstakingly set up distraction
Break into secure tech storage
Silicon upload boards
Hidden upload
Purchase hacked law board
Set up hilarious laws ensuring the crew's demise.
MFW 2AM Faux is too tired to notice he mixed up 'Do' and 'Don't'

Nulled my own laws by accident. Fuck me.

[Cuboos]

>be changeling
>fuck
>get my DNA
>assassinate some assistant target
>wander into dorms to change form.
>hear a beep
>oh fuck
>syndicate bomb in the next dorm
>gibs me before I have a chance to escape
>shuttle isn't called for 20 minutes
>red text
>god
>fucking
>DAMNIT

I'm about ready to remove changeling from antag prefs

[ShadowDimentio]

I did that as soon as parasting was removed. Ling is garbage to play and to fight.

[PKPenguin321]

only if ur bad

[TechnoAlchemist]

ling is ez mode

[The Ultimate Chimera]

ling is ez mode

It depends, really.

[Cobby]

I miss the younger-olddays of emp shrieking as a monkey in the vents, popping out, transforming, going to town on some man with my armblade, then monkeying back into the vents to recharge the points.

[ShadowDimentio]

I miss parasting every day.

[DemonFiren]

>ocheeva, chaplain
>You are the traitor!
>assassinate some greyshit
>hijack the shuttle
>welp, time to read porn to this station
>wait, no, someone's on :t
>it's another greyshit who got AA
>and the AI
>and my target is borged
>help AI set up plasma flood
>greyshit builds bombs
>finger an atmos tech, everyone falls for it
>plasma going live, bombs going live, singularity going out, shuttle recalled twice
>finally call code red and the shuttle comes
>weld escape shut, then emag it
>chill in space
>shuttle arrives, assistant and me get on
>emag console
>shuttle won't launch
>Hostile environment detected. Departure has been postponed indefinitely pending conflict resolution.
>the fucking AI's doomsday device prevented the launch
>everyone rushing shuttle
>asshat disarms my esword on first hit
>crits me
>other tater revives me
>still get killed anyway because all my shit was gone and there was a mech stomping around

[Cuboos]

> Be changeling again
>You what threads this is, you know what's gonna happen
> Be HoP
> little hopeful, i have an advantage due to my status as a head
> get genomes, assassinate the QM, steal the identity of a miner.
>simple stuff
> Round goes pretty typically
> assistants keep asking for all access
> Clown is surprisingly chill, just asks for bar access.
> random assistant blows up bridge with massive welder bomb
> Try to get HoS to take care of it, he just sorta looks at it and goes "Um"
> had a five minute window to act before the fucking assistant blew the bomb
> Incredible incompetence
> I'm an antag so i don't really care
> Kill QM.
> Steal miner's identity.
> Get my genomes
> hopeful
> maybe this is it, maybe i'll get my changeling greentext
> shuttle docks
> round ends
> The changeling has failed
> wait what
> There was an objective i didn't notice
> Steal a full tank of plasma
> Die a little on the inside

Why do i even bother...

[Deitus]

>greyshirt
>do normal greyshirt stuff, grab tools and whatnot
>ops are called
>wew
>make a spear, then decide to grab an axe
>eventually get into bridge to do so
>walk around waiting for ops to come in
>warden walks by
>tases me
>drags me immediately to gulag tp
>tells me axe is "an illegal weapon, there are no ops, you broke into the bridge to get it" and wants to gulag me for one thousand
>hat trick of wrongness, damson
>hos walks in and asks why im being gulagged
>warden spews shit
>i tell hos its ops
>hos gets mad at me for using the word "it," something something mutual exclusivity?
>what the actual fuck are you even talking about
>warden continues with olympic-grade mental gymnastics for why i should be arrested and put away forever
>suddenly armory gets bombed
>hos runs to fight
>warden takes me into evidence room to strip me rather than fight
>strips me on floor so he has to put each piece in a different locker
>im saltier than a damn mcdonald's french fry greaser by now
>starts pulling me to cell past the dying detective, hos, and officer
>red hardsuit ebows him
>YES.bison
>tell him to kill the warden and walk away to resist cuffs
>walk back, guy is gone, warden in crit
>drag his body into maint and strip his ass for being a dipshit, throw body in locker
>go back and grab hos and put him in cloning
>grab my axe again from locker, resume op hunting
>hos eventually pops out of cloner and denounces warden while apologizing to me
>accepted
>ai says over sec chat for me to be arrested as im dangerous
>uh no, still just walking here bud
>ai insists
>i dont even want to deal with this shit
>fine let me on to bridge and ill put it back
>do so
>axe appears in my hand, in the cabinet, and immediately in front of the cabinet
>ach mein gott
>INFINITE AXU WORKSU
>cap and hop are amazed at my awesome skill
>tell admins about it for memery
>"what the fuck did you do now deitus"
>[menacing]
>cant get the axe sprite off me
>admins do the only natural thing to do: make me naked and wearing a bikini
>reeeeeeeeeee
>suicide

cobby turning players into his fetish shit, deadmin post-haste!

[TheColdTurtle]

You deserve it, using 'its' and ruining another players round for doing his job

[Deitus]

You deserve it, using 'its' and ruining another players round for doing his job

>unironically caring about whether someone uses "its"
>"doing his job" while his armory is bombed/looted and his boss and subordinates are being killed

t-this is a troll, right?

[D&B]

You deserve it, using 'its' and ruining another players round for doing his job

>unironically caring about whether someone uses "its"
>"doing his job" while his armory is bombed/looted and his boss and subordinates are being killed

t-this is a troll, right?

You ought to wait until sec arms you, not steal a weapon from a secure area.

[Durkel]

>spawn as abductor
>things are going well
>suddenly I hear "HURRRRR"
>What the fuck was that?
>HURRR HURRR HONK HONK HONK HURR AIR HORN HONK HURRR
>Some fuckhead admin spawned a shitloads of frogs,bikehorns, and airhorns outside my ufo
>I'm forced to listen to frogs,bikehorns,and airhorns for 30 minutes for greentext.

It wasn't worth it. Fuck you and fuck your frogs kor.

[DemonFiren]

Honk.

[Deitus]

>spawn as abductor
>things are going well
>suddenly I hear "HURRRRR"
>What the fuck was that?
>HURRR HURRR HONK HONK HONK HURR AIR HORN HONK HURRR
>Some fuckhead admin spawned a shitloads of frogs,bikehorns, and airhorns outside my ufo
>I'm forced to listen to frogs,bikehorns,and airhorns for 30 minutes for greentext.

It wasn't worth it. Fuck you and fuck your frogs kor.

thats actually p fucking hilarious tbh

[Cuboos]

>spawn as abductor
>things are going well
>suddenly I hear "HURRRRR"
>What the fuck was that?
>HURRR HURRR HONK HONK HONK HURR AIR HORN HONK HURRR
>Some fuckhead admin spawned a shitloads of frogs,bikehorns, and airhorns outside my ufo
>I'm forced to listen to frogs,bikehorns,and airhorns for 30 minutes for greentext.

It wasn't worth it. Fuck you and fuck your frogs kor.

thats actually p fucking hilarious tbh

You have me to thank for the "huuuuuuuuuuuuur"

[Fatal]

>Be clown, Plays-The-Music
>spend 1:30 of extended round riding my scooter and playing music
>die to rod in arrivals, which also kills a borg
>2 people walk past both bodies before the 3rd takes mine to medbay lobby
>watch as people loot it, but not take it to genetics, easily 1/2 of the station saw the corpse
>roboticist grabs it, takes to robotics
>cuts head off with a saw, and cuts the brain out, and puts in an MMI
>I yell "DON'T PUT ME IN A BORG
>..put in a borg
>Shout at him to clone me
>after 10 minutes of his retardedness making me cry inside, he finally figures out how to decon a borg and gets the brain out of the mmi
>dumped at genetics
>geneticist throws body and brain down disposals
>neither people antags
>all ahelps ignore
>ree

[IcePacks]

>be plasmameme virologist
>complete immunity to my own batshit virii
>research a fuckton of symptoms
>go grab more synaptazine
>nearly get lynched by my fellow medical staff for being sub-human and in plain sight, despite altruistically researching the cure for being able to be killed by stuff
>go back into my lab
>concoct a virus that causes people to spontaneously combust; weaker transmission method requires blood vomiting and sneezing to transmit because i'm actually a traitor
>go back outside to hopefully infect and kill everyone
>the station's a burnt-out husk
>encounter my evil twin
>shoot him up with the disease
>ignite
>die
>he dies too
>this was after using a rare antag token

[Deitus]

>assistant on box
>CONFIRMED OUTBREAK OF LEVEL FIVE BIOHAZARD
>OSHIT
>scoot into engi to grab some industrial welders
>CE starts batonning me and saying im trespassing/if i want the tools sign up for the job
>are you fucking serious?
>sec officer comes and brigs me, says she "needs to search me"
>searching entails taking everything in my toolbelt i guess
>harmbatons me when i call them out on their shit
>HOS walks in and lasers me into crit
>get taken to medbay, whatever lets just fight the blob
>someone busted open bridge window
>grab a multitool and go in to get the axe
>HOS walks by and lasers me to death this time
>CE who kicks me out is trying to use flamethrower on blob, just ignites other fighters
>some idiot calls the shuttle
>officer who arrests me never goes to fight blob despite taking a hardsuit
>literally spends entire round harassing robotics for some odd reason and yelling at the ai to restore power despite being repeatedly told from multiple sources that there is a sink and the smes are destroyed
>CE later takes a canister of superheated gas to the blob after its killed and opens it near other people

salty as fuck tbh

[TechnoAlchemist]

>assistant on box
>CONFIRMED OUTBREAK OF LEVEL FIVE BIOHAZARD
>OSHIT
>scoot into engi to grab some industrial welders
>CE starts batonning me and saying im trespassing/if i want the tools sign up for the job
>are you fucking serious?
>sec officer comes and brigs me, says she "needs to search me"
>searching entails taking everything in my toolbelt i guess
>harmbatons me when i call them out on their shit
>HOS walks in and lasers me into crit
>get taken to medbay, whatever lets just fight the blob
>someone busted open bridge window
>grab a multitool and go in to get the axe
>HOS walks by and lasers me to death this time
>CE who kicks me out is trying to use flamethrower on blob, just ignites other fighters
>some idiot calls the shuttle
>officer who arrests me never goes to fight blob despite taking a hardsuit
>literally spends entire round harassing robotics for some odd reason and yelling at the ai to restore power despite being repeatedly told from multiple sources that there is a sink and the smes are destroyed
>CE later takes a canister of superheated gas to the blob after its killed and opens it near other people

salty as fuck tbh

that was record speed

did you start writing before the round was even over