/tg/Station 13

Posted: **Fri Mar 03, 2017 12:37 pm**

Bottom post of the previous page:

It's all blurry memories but i definitely recall you trying to kidnap me... I shot you once with [non-lethals] because you were beating the clown to death. The clown hadn't committed a single crime that i was told about so i wasn't going to valid hunt them like you lot would. I don't cry on the forums about extremely petty things and you shouldn't either, c'mon guys.

Posted: **Fri Mar 03, 2017 2:04 pm**

Digdugxx wrote:It's all blurry memories but i definitely recall you trying to kidnap me... I shot you once with [non-lethals] because you were beating the clown to death. The clown hadn't committed a single crime that i was told about so i wasn't going to valid hunt them like you lot would. I don't cry on the forums about extremely petty things and you shouldn't either, c'mon guys.

Yeah, theft, tresspassing, assault are defenantly not crimes! Also, I had no beef with you until you started assisting the clown and shooting me with a shotgun!

Posted: **Fri Mar 03, 2017 2:22 pm**

Clown literally had fucking carp im sorry my mistake it was the clown that put me in disposals, also the clown that gave you the nuke disk and is your only friend
Really makes u think

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 6:03 am**

Running RnD on metastation. Self professed traitor knocks on the counter window. Says he's giving up his life of crime and is donating his equipment for the benefit of Nanotrasen.
Proceeds to dump a surplus crate's contents into my arms.
Christmas comes early.
Finish breaking everything down. Science basically maxed.
>Main menu
>Sync databa--
Giant EMP blast from chemistry across the hall shatters the console.
Hadrian Melik is putting the stechkin in his mouth, it looks like he's trying to commit suicide!

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 6:22 am**

MimicFaux wrote:~

Does that actually wipe the console? The cloning console, for example, retains information when its screen is broken.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 9:57 am**

It does if the screen breaks and you don't sync. Always sync your research, especially if it's the kind you can't get back.

Posted: **Sun Mar 05, 2017 5:56 pm**

That's what made it so rage inducing, I was in the middle of syncing it when it happened. I might have done it in steps but I was paranoid security would come arrest me for/scientist steal from the giant pile of traitor loot I was sitting on.

Posted: **Tue Mar 07, 2017 7:26 am**

a regret story

>I'm a ghost
>see a podman growing a metric shitload of plants
>jump in one of the pod things and spawn as another podman
>go out 1 tile into lavaland
>kudzu fucking everywhere
>why did he plant kudzu
>see that he's also grown lots of combustible lemons
>open the airlocks and start throwing lemons at the kudzu to tear through it and maybe find a way out
>other podman is raging and telling me to stop
>don't listen

Here is the regret part

>airlock closes right as I throw my last lemon
>it detonates instantly
>leg flies off
>fire ignites half the plants in the room
>this includes a fuckton ambrosia deus, healing apples, other stuff I didn't see
>also includes the 10000 other lemons
>the explosion also scattered everything in addition to igniting it
>it turns out that combustible lemons explode when they burn to ashes
>literally hundreds of explosions destroy every plant, half the botany trays, a bunch of the machines
>blows off other podmans arm as well
>kudzu then tears down a wall sucking all the air out of our house
>he's going fucking nuclear saying how he warned me not to do that
>feel fucking terrible (also kind of amused at the massive explosion)

>eventually harvest more bomb lemons and accidentally blow off my other leg fighting kudzu
>with no legs or air my journey has ended

Posted: **Tue Mar 07, 2017 10:17 pm**

As the other podman, kudzu doesn't hurt podmen, unless it explodes due to other explosions in the area... and the apples I was growing had salbumatol in them, which is basically infinite oxygen in chem form. Also, I grew 100 potency 10 production kudzu, which is basically impossible to get rid of.

Still, I made lavaland BEAUTIFUL, and the chain explosions was funny and educational so I don't see the regret here.

Posted: **Thu Mar 09, 2017 8:47 pm**

There was this one late night bagil round I remember where no admins were on and I accidentally re-lit a dying plasma fire as a drone in a locked room with at least three humies. Drones can't even die from the fire, so I just watched their static sprites run around trying to put it out until they died. feels extremely bad man.

Posted: **Thu Mar 09, 2017 11:06 pm**

>be detective
>immediately find dead officer
>clone him
>find romerol in the cryo tubes
>alert everyone, go to my office
>suit up
>power goes out
>no crowbar
>get saved by a resourceful sec officer
>talk about the coming zombies, monsters, and killer robots that have struck the station as I pass by him
>get shocked by sec front doors
>he shakes me up and opens the door for me
>walk next to borg in shadows
>it was emagged, and the hos blows it right as I pass by
>it explodes and instakills me

man

Posted: **Fri Mar 10, 2017 12:08 am**

>be ling
>My target is Akoro mako, assistant
>Also have to take the ID
>This objective is relatively shit but alright
>Named Mr.Mu
>other ling is also named mr.mu, I find this out later
>Murder chaplain early on cos he saw me succ someone and was about to scream
>Become chaplain
>Go into bridge and get arrested, Escape, but a peacekeeper borg thinks it's security with a flash and flashes me so many times I go blind and arrests me
>It refuses to follow law 2 (I never harmed) and allows me to be smashed over the head with a bottle because "it was an accident."
>Eventually SM sing gets loose and shuttle is called and this borg is STILL arresting me
>Has arrested a lawyer because "law 3" and is also spamming flashes on him
>The borg refuses to leave, I say fuck it and monkey form out of there
>By now the sing has eaten engineering and shit is fucked
>Spot target just as rad storm shows up
>You feel a tiny prick!
>My target is a ling? Fuck.
>Head into maint with my target and two other people, casually asking my target for the DNA over the hive-mind
>E-bowed and e-sworded and gutted
>Fuck, Guess I'll revive and succ
>Rad storm goes away, so does e-bow traitor
>Revive
>Fall into immediate crit
>No amount of regenerating can save me
>I have no heart and slowly die
>I revive three times without being able to do anything
>Manage to be fast enough to monkey form before falling unconcious, my target, who has also been reviving, has not been so lucky and was dragged to medbay and perma-cyro'd
>Perfect, because I need to prevent him from escaping alive but I need his DNA
>I ask him to channel the DNA and I'll fix him up
>The shuttle arrives during this
>He doesnt know how and dies before he manages
>Shit
>Guess I'll absorb
>Absorb is stuck telling me "You are already absorbing" from a suicide earlier
>Fuck me
>Go to pod with target anyway
>Space dust has breached the pod window that I chose
>No time to choose another, about 50 seconds till departure
>Put downtargets ID to strangle target and absorb, assuming that the atmos has already all but left
>It hasnt
>Space wind
>Id casually floats out of the window and into space
>I chase after it, but I'm not fast enough
>Me, the guy and the PDA are drifting a tile apart, and I cant reach his PDA
>Pods leave, the guy revives and dies again, and I drift into space to redtext

Posted: **Fri Mar 10, 2017 1:04 am**

>arrested by sec as rev
>being beaten to death
>guy earlier disablered me
>type up ghost for when I pass out
>a bash hits the head and I coincidentally get derevved
>see myself knocked out with it saying I am in crit
>spam the shit out of enter
>I get healed
>they see I went fucking catatonic like a horrid sport when I thought I was in crit
>I look like a massive fuckwad

Posted: **Fri Mar 10, 2017 3:31 am**

>Be viroguy
>Make heals virus
>Have nothing to do
>Find skub
>Skub around
>HoP spaces skub as a prank
>YOU'VE MADE A POWERFUL ENEMY
>Welderbomb the HoP's office as vengeance
>Thus begins a legendary rivalry
>HoP repeatedly tries to dunk me and fails repeatedly
>First time they chase me with a disabler
>I escape by ducking into the dorms and they lose me
>Have an idea
>Turn it to the animal park setting
>Lure them in there next time they chase me
>They're foiled by their disabler shots getting absorbed by a corgi
>Insulting irony
>Second time they have a shotgun and are chasing me
>Grab a water tank and bait them into shooting it, spray water everywhere, they slip and drop the gun
>Pick it up and unload all the shots
>They're getting mad
>Third time they have their disabler again and are spraying madly down the halls
>Spray the halls with a spray bottle I nabbed off the floor and filled with water
>They slip, yoink their gun
>They're pissed, spray lasers everywhere
>Dodge easily
>Spray more tiles
>Yoink their other gun
>Fourth time they're not getting slipped again and are following with a taser
>Walking slowly towards me down the chapel hall
>Loop around through the chapel and disable them through a window
>Swipe their gun and bounce
>High energy antics
>Recharge my egun for more antics, figuring the HoP was playing along honorably
>Nope, the chappy suddenly attacks of all people
>Go down
>Am dragged to the brig sobbing about dishonor
>Thrown in the gulag
>Another person is there
>They lag, and run into lava
>Try to save them, fail
>Loot them
>They had a welder
>You IDIOT
>Break out in seconds with it
>Retrieving my stuff when shitcurity bursts in and arrests me again
>I SERVED MY NICKEL YOU PIGS
>Get chained to a pipe and literally gassed

Absolutely dishonorabru.

Posted: **Fri Mar 10, 2017 12:40 pm**

They had a welder in gulag, how?

Posted: **Mon Mar 13, 2017 10:28 am**

>Be CE
>No other engineers, guess I'll go set up the solars myself
>happily go about setting up solars by space walking around the station
>reach Arrivals area and enter the station quickly and walk into construction area
>Oh look, some sec guard is following me in I wonder wh-
>tased and cuffed without a single word or warning
>welp, think I'ma be raped. Talk over Command comm letting them know what's happening
>officer still hasn't spoken to me as he starts stripping me of all my gear
>now start screaming down comms for someone to come just incase I'ma die
>HoPcurity runs in, disables the officer and zipties him. Decides however he can't be fucked and walks off with both of us just cuffed
>chaplain runs in and I persuade him to uncuff me, sec officer screaming obscenities at me
>He finally admits the only reason he tased and stunned me was to search me because I space walked past the armoury
>Berate him for being shitcurity and he should ask next time, I'd have been happy to comply to a search
>pick up his baton on the floor and stun him telling him not to be so shit
>Captain walks in, disables me to the floor and recuffs me
>Drags me to the bridge and the sec officer follows having been uncuffed
>Cap decides I was the one trying to abduct the security officer not the other way around
>making a long story short he decides to demote me, then changes his mind and just has me killed.

Posted: **Mon Mar 13, 2017 3:53 pm**

SRTR is essentially a thread full of lists of people who need headbans, secbans, or just straight-up bans, so it seems.

Posted: **Mon Mar 13, 2017 4:04 pm**

In a way I agree stories seem to be just stories of shitcurity

Posted: **Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:11 pm**

confused rock wrote:>arrested by sec as rev
>being beaten to death
>guy earlier disablered me
>type up ghost for when I pass out
>a bash hits the head and I coincidentally get derevved
>see myself knocked out with it saying I am in crit
>spam the shit out of enter
>I get healed
>they see I went fucking catatonic like a horrid sport when I thought I was in crit
>I look like a massive fuckwad

Thats why you type "succumb" you massive twit, because it only kills you if you're actually dying

Posted: **Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:16 pm**

Not-Dorsidarf wrote:
confused rock wrote:>arrested by sec as rev
>being beaten to death
>guy earlier disablered me
>type up ghost for when I pass out
>a bash hits the head and I coincidentally get derevved
>see myself knocked out with it saying I am in crit
>spam the shit out of enter
>I get healed
>they see I went fucking catatonic like a horrid sport when I thought I was in crit
>I look like a massive fuckwad
Thats why you type "succumb" you massive twit, because it only kills you if you're actually dying

Posted: **Tue Mar 14, 2017 4:22 pm**

or type your most salty message with your last breath with .w

Posted: **Tue Mar 14, 2017 5:58 pm**

I know what succumb does but I'm too fucking lazy retard, the situation is so rare that its best to save me a few presses and just ghost and die in one command

Posted: **Tue Mar 14, 2017 6:24 pm**

Whisper niknakflak

Posted: **Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:18 pm**

>normal assistant day on sybil
>notice boxstation bridge doors on the left are open
>walk in
>wander into captain's office
>unsuprisingly get batonned and thrown out
>walk back in
>this happens again
>hop wants to beat me
>cap stops him and merely zipties me and drags me out of bridge and removes the cuffs
>he forgot to close the door
>after a while of us passively bumping into each other with no actual fighting he successfully closes the door in frot of me
>check if the door on the left is still open
>it is
>hop is looting the captain's quarters so he can get the cloak or something
>grab his disabler from the recharger and disable him a few times
>put disabler back in
>sit there
>cap comes in
>nobody has cuffs
>hop wants to baton me dead but the cap stops him mid beating
>end up getting batonned into the teleporter room and thrown out through there
>go back in
>this continues
>I am bleeding from the chest thanks to the hop
>detective comes in
>for some reason they have no cuffs
>keep getting thrown out
>hop and det are trying to arrest me now
>assistants are cheering me on
>break loose from their chainstuns and bruise pack myself in medbay and grab a donut for the blood loss as I am at 84% blood
>hop and det continue chainstunning me in the main hall
>hop is also beating me back to low health
>break loose a second but then smells comes in in an engineering hardsuit and kicks me to crit for some reason
>continue in crit
>hop and det bring me to the mass driver
>am loaded in
>start thinking they may have been stopped after I am in the driver for 15 seconds
>chap is there and more but I am still in crit so I cannot tell well
>no wait hop is still spacing me
>land in arrivals
>medic comes in time to defib me
>ghosts support me
>get brought back to medbay but am unconscious from the blood loss
>detective wrestles me away from every doctor including the cmo
>leaves me to suffocate in a morgue slab in brig
>suffocate in a morgue slab in brig
>no admins on despite there being 45 players
>ahelp anyway
>despite being sent to irc there is no response
gg no re

Posted: **Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:22 pm**

>play stupid game
>win stupid prize

wtf admins I am being griefed

Posted: **Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:25 pm**

Oranges is right again

Posted: **Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:29 pm**

it's oranges

Posted: **Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:34 pm**

Is it still oranges even if it's the first word in a sentence?

Posted: **Tue Mar 14, 2017 10:38 pm**

Posted: **Wed Mar 15, 2017 12:37 am**

confused rock wrote:>proclaim that the HoP will, in fact, not stab me
>become stabbed

I mean I think they're being assholes but like, what did you expect

Posted: **Wed Mar 15, 2017 12:42 am**

oranges wrote:yes

Oranges cannot change the rules of grammar.

Posted: **Wed Mar 15, 2017 12:47 am**

oranges does what oranges pleases, silly lizard.

Posted: **Wed Mar 15, 2017 1:18 am**

yes, except no

Posted: **Wed Mar 15, 2017 2:57 pm**

I mean like I got my body hid twice and i didnt even hurt anyone or steal anything I dunno man

Posted: **Wed Mar 15, 2017 3:16 pm**

>not immediately executing anyone in your office who shouldn't be

You got lucky my man

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 10:41 am**

confused rock wrote:>normal assistant day on sybil
>notice boxstation bridge doors on the left are open
>walk in
>wander into captain's office
>unsuprisingly get batonned and thrown out
>walk back in
>this happens again
>hop wants to beat me
>cap stops him and merely zipties me and drags me out of bridge and removes the cuffs
>he forgot to close the door
>after a while of us passively bumping into each other with no actual fighting he successfully closes the door in frot of me
>check if the door on the left is still open
>it is
>hop is looting the captain's quarters so he can get the cloak or something
>grab his disabler from the recharger and disable him a few times
>put disabler back in
>sit there
>cap comes in
>nobody has cuffs
>hop wants to baton me dead but the cap stops him mid beating
>end up getting batonned into the teleporter room and thrown out through there
>go back in
>this continues
>I am bleeding from the chest thanks to the hop
>detective comes in
>for some reason they have no cuffs
>keep getting thrown out
>hop and det are trying to arrest me now
>assistants are cheering me on
>break loose from their chainstuns and bruise pack myself in medbay and grab a donut for the blood loss as I am at 84% blood
>hop and det continue chainstunning me in the main hall
>hop is also beating me back to low health
>break loose a second but then smells comes in in an engineering hardsuit and kicks me to crit for some reason
>continue in crit
>hop and det bring me to the mass driver
>am loaded in
>start thinking they may have been stopped after I am in the driver for 15 seconds
>chap is there and more but I am still in crit so I cannot tell well
>no wait hop is still spacing me
>land in arrivals
>medic comes in time to defib me
>ghosts support me
>get brought back to medbay but am unconscious from the blood loss
>detective wrestles me away from every doctor including the cmo
>leaves me to suffocate in a morgue slab in brig
>suffocate in a morgue slab in brig
>no admins on despite there being 45 players
>ahelp anyway
>despite being sent to irc there is no response
gg no re

I'd have murdered you the second time you walked into the bridge.

Posted: **Sat Mar 18, 2017 3:19 pm**

Reece wrote:
confused rock wrote:snip
I'd have murdered you the second time you walked into the bridge.

do this next time

Posted: **Mon Mar 20, 2017 9:34 pm**

Qbopper wrote:
Reece wrote:
confused rock wrote:snip
I'd have murdered you the second time you walked into the bridge.

>act a shit
>try to ahelp when you get killed

this is why bran respects was closed.

Posted: **Tue Mar 21, 2017 12:34 am**

>roll ling atmos tech
>spend maybe 20 minutes building a death chamber by making a little inescapable box and draining the atmos
>reroute all of disposals to go into it
>build a chute and throw people into it
>realize that the station was bombed while i was building it and disposals is broken
>see the same people i threw in walking around unharmed
>go back to (a very successful) murderbone
tfw your elaborate traps do not work because meme bombs

Posted: **Tue Mar 21, 2017 12:45 am**

PKPenguin321 wrote:>roll ling atmos tech
>spend maybe 20 minutes building a death chamber by making a little inescapable box and draining the atmos
>reroute all of disposals to go into it
>build a chute and throw people into it
>realize that the station was bombed while i was building it and disposals is broken
>see the same people i threw in walking around unharmed
>go back to (a very successful) murderbone
tfw your elaborate traps do not work because meme bombs

testmerge bombs don't break disposals when

Posted: **Tue Mar 21, 2017 2:35 am**

PKPenguin321 wrote:>roll ling atmos tech
>spend maybe 20 minutes building a death chamber by making a little inescapable box and draining the atmos
>reroute all of disposals to go into it
>build a chute and throw people into it
>realize that the station was bombed while i was building it and disposals is broken
>see the same people i threw in walking around unharmed
>go back to (a very successful) murderbone
tfw your elaborate traps do not work because meme bombs

>Have a good plan
>Plan gets fucked
>Just murderbone instead
>Wildly successful

SS13.

Posted: **Tue Mar 21, 2017 12:18 pm**

Make murderbone hard

Posted: **Tue Mar 21, 2017 3:52 pm**

XDTM wrote:Make murderbone hard

We tried but a lazy fruit won't let us touch the double esword.

Posted: **Tue Mar 21, 2017 4:36 pm**

Because it's perfectly fine you hugboxers, stop trying to nerf everything that dunks you.

Posted: **Tue Mar 21, 2017 4:46 pm**

ShadowDimentio wrote:Because it's perfectly fine you hugboxers, stop trying to nerf everything that dunks you.

Opinion discarded

Posted: **Tue Mar 21, 2017 5:24 pm**

ShadowDimentio wrote:Because it's perfectly fine you hugboxers, stop trying to nerf everything that dunks you.

ITT: man made of straw

Posted: **Tue Mar 21, 2017 5:58 pm**

Dual esword is fine you hugboxers

Posted: **Tue Mar 21, 2017 8:42 pm**

>Lizards who only ever murderbone are the main proponents of desword "being fine"

hmmmmmm

Posted: **Tue Mar 21, 2017 11:05 pm**

Doctor Pork wrote:>Lizards who only ever murderbone are the main proponents of desword "being fine"

hmmmmmm

really gets your noggin joggin

Posted: **Tue Mar 21, 2017 11:23 pm**

Qbopper wrote:
Doctor Pork wrote:>Lizards who only ever murderbone are the main proponents of desword "being fine"

hmmmmmm
really gets your noggin joggin

Starting a PR to qdel all eswords when you attempt to combine them.

Posted: **Tue Mar 21, 2017 11:27 pm**

cedarbridge wrote:
Qbopper wrote:
Doctor Pork wrote:>Lizards who only ever murderbone are the main proponents of desword "being fine"

hmmmmmm
really gets your noggin joggin
Starting a PR to qdel all eswords when you attempt to combine them.

https://github.com/tgstation/tgstation/ ... gy.dm#L209
This is the starting point cedar have fun.

/tg/Station 13

Stories of rage, tears and regret

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