/tg/Station 13

Bottom post of the previous page:

cedarbridge wrote:

Qbopper wrote:

Doctor Pork wrote:>Lizards who only ever murderbone are the main proponents of desword "being fine"

hmmmmmm

really gets your noggin joggin

Starting a PR to qdel all eswords when you attempt to combine them.

https://github.com/tgstation/tgstation/ ... gy.dm#L209
This is the starting point cedar have fun.

>HUMAN traitor on boxstation (calzilla go fuck yourself)
>uuuuugghhghgghgghghhhhhh I just want a quiet life
>decide to just be lazy and open up a crate in arrivals toilets
>notice a light through a wall
>open surplus crate
>guy comes in and opens every toilet searching for me because he heard the crate open
>crate contains absolute trash, no weapons, only notable stuff is 2 nuke op hardsuits and an emp kit
>he hauls ass screaming im a traitor
>drag the crate into arrivals maint
>the ai is doing 2 memes
>the "acting like a robot" meme, saying "results show andrew, no 'is traitor"
>the "its not validhunting if I don't say the exact words as ai" meme
>ai says "he appears to be dragging a crate
>they fucking bolt down maint because they are a sack of shit
>break through a window into space as a lizard officer comes in
>steal a toolbox
>time to murder the ai
>stroll past the supermatter
>unwrench a heating pipe
>realise thats just a plain old dick move, wrench the pipe back into place and immediately apologise over radio to the ce
>he still comes in and tries to baton me
>he misses and runs back in
>unwrench the heating pipe again
>on to the ai core
>ai starts screaming in all caps but nobody comes
>here comes a medborg dragging pingsky
>emp its ass
>start welding into the ai core
>by the way shuttle was called but I don't even care
>connection dies
>when I manage to get back on I have fucking 900ms ping
>2 minutes till shuttle when I regain basic motor functions but the ping is still shit
>suicide because there isn't anything worth doing at this point
>the borg is salty as fuck and trying to tell everyone I'm a salty buttbaby calling people validhunters for no reason

why do I even try tbh

confused rock wrote:ligger tears

If you were a human this wouldn't have happened, further more bundles>crate

confused rock wrote:I WAS A HUMAN

ONCE A LIGGER ALWAYS A LIGGER

I don't think you get it fam you just got btfo

confused rock wrote:I don't think you get it fam you just got btfo

its impossible for a ligger to btfo a human tbh

the borg was played by jarek tho

this story is so depressing seriously you have no idea how it felt

confused rock wrote:the borg was played by jarek tho

this story is so depressing seriously you have no idea how it felt

thats because im not a lizard

>regular HUMAN assistant
>like 3 or 4 guys are massive shitty faggots
>borg literally watches a lizard strangle me and the lizard hides my body
>its asimov
>get cloned by another guy and kill the borg but 4 shitters still remain
>killing the borg felt so good that it feels too wrong to write a rage story about the whole round

Was the borg played by (((Jarek)))?

>Assistant
>HoS lets me remodel perma
>Make an infinite loop for HoS
>Warden and officer approve
>Throw myself into my hellish creation
>Two traitors (or extreme tiders) get thrown into it.
>Rejoice
>Drone spawns, rushes perma
>Crowbars all the tiles where I put the pipes
>Destroys my loop
>Leaves shit for one of the souls trapped in the loop to escape, causing their execution after they're caught

>No admins on and when one did get on apparently there's no prints on drones
>Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee myself in rage

I bet it's one of the faggots who got thrown in and got salty.

D&B wrote:>Assistant
>HoS lets me remodel perma
>Make an infinite loop for HoS
>Warden and officer approve
>Throw myself into my hellish creation
>Two traitors (or extreme tiders) get thrown into it.
>Rejoice
>Drone spawns, rushes perma
>Crowbars all the tiles where I put the pipes
>Destroys my loop
>Leaves shit for one of the souls trapped in the loop to escape, causing their execution after they're caught

>No admins on and when one did get on apparently there's no prints on drones
>Reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee myself in rage

No prints but there still should have been a way to figure out who it was. If this was just recently there can't have been that many drones about.

Just look at logs, find when it happened and pm a headmin I suppose

InsaneHyena wrote:Was the borg played by (((Jarek)))?

Not this time

Armhulen wrote:Just look at logs, find when it happened and pm a headmin I suppose

I mean, unless there were a dozen drones, it would have been as simple at the time as >get drone number or check player list for drones, boink drone. There's probably information I'm missing that removed this option though

confused rock wrote:

InsaneHyena wrote:Was the borg played by (((Jarek)))?

Not this time

How come you didnt ahelp when a borg let a ligger kill you. That's a siliconban right there.

my vague memory says either I did or I knew it wouldn't work
also
>mostly regular round
>some assistant riding a borg rides into the shuttle cockpit
>walk in too
>ce comes in and ignores them
>tries to fucking drill me to death
>1 hit before death borg has given 0 shits and is a fucking medborg
>I finally decide to fight back and found a box of shurikens a while ago
>hit him with a bola and 3 shurikens
>the borg still gives 0 shits
>die
>somehow he fucking survives that cuz cmo

>Be changeling
>Disguise as Bryce Pax
>Plan to be an immortal greytider and blow up welder tanks
>My first victim is an engineer in HoP line
>Somehow I fuck up, and I get stunned, but he doesn't
>Prepare to turn on adrenals, when suddenly see sec arrive on the scene
>Actually, I've got a much better idea.
>Let him kill me, watch him get arrested for murder.
>I get dragged into cloning.
>Get cloned pretty fast - RnD must have upgraded genetics for a change.
>Am going to return to blowing up weldertanks now
>Suddenly, a ligger with a taser jumps out of nowhere and begins trying to shoot me
>Must be for my tiding
>I'll just sit my sentence out and...
>"LING"
>"I GOT LING, AI OPEN CHAPEL"
>What?!
>How did he...
>HOW DID HE KNOW
>I literally never used my changeling powers ONCE.
>HOW did he know?
>Swarmed my sec, fail my escape, get burned in crematorium
>Adminhelp
>Told that it's perfectly valid, because "You died and came back"
>Yeah, it's what happens when people get cloned.
>Don't get a response.
>In the following rounds get an antag a few more times
>This exact same lizard foils me each time by being in the exact right place each time.

Really made me think.

That's what you get for your negative attitude towards the reptilian conspiracy.
It's not too late to join us.

DemonFiren wrote:That's what you get for your negative attitude towards the reptilian conspiracy.
It's not too late to join us.

Just goes to show when you see a ligger, pull the trigger.

They breed too quickly.

Perhaps, I can slay them even faster.

I wish you luck.

InsaneHyena wrote:man picks worst disguise

>man disguised as pax
>surprised when strangers collect
>his blood-debt in full.

it should be pretty common knowledge by now that i'll deliberately paint a huge target on my back if i don't have one already

Totally not meta at all :^)

InsaneHyena wrote: >Told that it's perfectly valid, because "You died and came back"
>Yeah, it's what happens when people get cloned.
>Don't get a response.

Who handled this??????

There was this round where smells contained the whole serber in xenobio and next round the hop renamed his id to ligger faggot and then dumped his id down disposals 4 no raisin

Perfectly justified.

DemonFiren wrote:Perfectly justified.

On one hand you're right but they were talking ic about how they would all lynch him next round


I have not laughed harder

DemonFiren wrote:Perfectly justified.

Im lynching u nxt round

Getting rid of ban requests would be fine if the shit that would normally go there got handled but apparently it is not getting handled.

Screemonster wrote:Getting rid of ban requests would be fine if the shit that would normally go there got handled but apparently it is not getting handled.

yeah basically

danno wrote:

InsaneHyena wrote: >Told that it's perfectly valid, because "You died and came back"
>Yeah, it's what happens when people get cloned.
>Don't get a response.

Who handled this??????

This sounds awful only when you cut it down to those 3 lines and forget that sec had seen both Byrce's die at this point at different places under different odd circumstances. Asking Sec to just shrug their shoulders when there are two of the same person walking around is silly. "But I hadn't used any ling powers" except turning into another person, you know, the thing that lings do.

friendly reminder that you chose me as a disguise

When your packs never relax

cedarbridge wrote:It's okay to burn people alive because you've heard about them dying before

Woah. Really fires up those neurons.

I need to stop playing this game

>get changeling
>write in ling chat only "wow cool I'm geneticist-ling, free food and powers"
>research powers for ten minutes
>doctor and officer come, asking to open the door, what could possibly go wrong, I didn't do anythin to compromise myself yet, right?
>open the door for them
>get instantly tasered
>doctor kills me with his armblade
>they both carry me to the chapel and of course chaplain cremates me without any questions
Well okay now I'm never going to cooperate or even say anything in ling hivemind if I don't have team objective

Hzb91881 wrote:>get changeling
>write in ling chat only "wow cool I'm geneticist-ling, free food and powers"
>research powers for ten minutes
>doctor and officer come, asking to open the door, what could possibly go wrong, I didn't do anythin to compromise myself yet, right?
>open the door for them
>get instantly tasered
>doctor kills me with his armblade
>they both carry me to the chapel and of course chaplain cremates me without any questions
Well okay now I'm never going to cooperate or even say anything in ling hivemind if I don't have team objective

Could be a xenobio ling, otherwise they should be spoken to via ahelp leading up to a ban if nessecary for ratting you out. Did you ahelp?

FantasticFwoosh wrote: Could be a xenobio ling, otherwise they should be spoken to via ahelp leading up to a ban if nessecary for ratting you out. Did you ahelp?

Nah, some ghost said that it's rule 4 and it's valid

A ghost isn't a admin, you should have definitely have checked it out. Lings have been reprimanded for destroying other lings before (but mostly in such a case of not communicating and then killing & draining other lings of fluids)

FantasticFwoosh wrote:A ghost isn't a admin, you should have definitely have checked it out. Lings have been reprimanded for destroying other lings before (but mostly in such a case of not communicating and then killing & draining other lings of fluids)

I'm not aware of any such precedent. Rule 4 certainly applies without a specific exception or headmin ruling. Changelings are a team only in the sense that traitors who buy syndicate communication keys are a team or traitors with a traitor AI who buy a binary key are a team. Its intentional that lings cannot perfectly trust other lings.

I'd rule out the xenobio ling unless the round was an hour in. Also i'm pretty sure ling team objectives are either removed or disabled, so you should probably limit hivemind communication to stuff that doesn't give you away, although i think that there aren't many lings out there who report others to security.

I've dropped bombs on lings who think being a supercop is a good way to play bloodthirsty gene monster before

>brigged because I stabbed people with a carrot (fair enough)
>pink catgirl warden wordlessly drags me off to a cell on the far left after hearing the crime (all cells have blast doors for no reason)
>warden immediately tries to lung punch me
>accidentally punches themself in the face
>other sec officer watching
>ward proceeds to lunch punch me and neck chop me
>tries to harmbaton me
>accidentally harmbatons themself second hit
>proceeds to harmbaton me 4 more times
>10 minutes
>they hadn't even interacted with me the whole round
>they accidentally left their riot shield they were carrying in the cell
>put it on my back
>they flash and go back in for it
>get up and disarm them
>beat the fuck outta them
>heroic sec officer with hair protruding through his helmet saves the innocent kawaii pink haired catgirl waifu using an energy gun
>set to lethal
>nobody has any problem with my body being left to rot in the brig morgue
why live

You should have done your time and killed that warden afterwards.

Reminded me of a shit warden that kept lung punching me for 4 minutes and tried to throw me out the brig without giving me my PDA or ID back.

>Janitor
>You are the Traitor.
>hijack the shuttle to ensure no Nanotrasen crew escape alive
>*snap crackel*
>decide to do this the right way
>do a few sheets of paperwork to get access to cargo and medical, insulated gloves and a tool belt
>the HOP seems to fall in love with me and grants it all
>stash everything in the closet
>service borg is spraying the entire fucking station
>begin cleaning the entire fucking station
>do literally nothing traitorous at all
>some greyshirt walks down the hallway
>*BLAM*
>You're hit by a bullet in the head!
>*BLAM*
>You're hit by a bullet in the head!
>fall into crit, get dragged off to a corner in maintenance
>die, greyshirt doesn't even take anything off of me
>no one clones me although I had suit sensors set to max

I know it's ridiculous by default to get mad at spessmen, specially at dying while an antag but this is a really, really bad feeling.

I like to run a gimmick when I get traitor, I get sleeping carp, maybe an agent ID, and and dress like a ninja. Instead of running around punching people I just grab a plant, a box, or some other method of hiding and make myself look as suspicious as humanly possible. following people, hiding in shadows, showing up in places I am not supposed to be in. If I get spotted or attacked, I immedately run away, using the sleeping carp to prevent insta-down taser shots.

and of course some asshole eventually ruins the fun. I cant count how many times a HoS or Captain dont roll with the gimmick and just flashbang or stun baton me and instamurder instead of cuffing for roleplay memes, it is frustrating, what would be a half hour of silliness gets ruined in minutes because valids.

More people need to roll with obvious traitor gimmicks, you dont WIN SS13 by validing all the traitors, thats how you get boring as fuck rounds.

didn't you know
the best fun is had by stealing other people's fun