Page 47 of 57

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Mon May 29, 2017 4:58 pm
by DemonFiren
>dumbass fucking borgs not realising that self-harm is kosher

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 12:30 am
by InsaneHyena
>Be miner returning to the station
>Shuttle takes fifteen minutes to leave the dock.
>While I'm flying, remember how it used to leave instantly
>It spaced miners all the time - that was fucking fun. Now it's all hugbox.
>Hey, maybe I should make a PR reverting it?
>Bring back the good old times. Deathtrap station and all.
>Arrive to the station, leave the shuttle.
>Wait, I forgot something.
>Right, my ore box.
>Return to the mining shuttle, grab ore box and head towards the exit
>The shuttle departs with me in the airlock
>Get spaced

Made me think.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 6:46 am
by DemonFiren
Didn't you, once upon a time, intensely hate miners?

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 7:11 am
by InsaneHyena
I don't hate the job, I hate the players.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 7:42 am
by DemonFiren
So what does intense self-loathing feel like?
Oh, wait, I can answer that.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 4:08 pm
by Limski
>Be security officer
>See wizard teleporting in
>Do the sane thing and kill it on sight
>It deathwhispers something
>Assistant nearby collapses, pay no attention to the detail
>Miner says, "Dude, the wizard just mindswapped"
>briefly explain that mindswap sleeps the victim and the wizard and be on my way, not paying attention to the COLLAPSED ASSISTANT RIGHT NEXT TO THE WIZARD
>Get back to brig . . . take a short moment to process what happened
>realize how FUCKING BADLY I FUCKED UP and scream over common radio about it to notify the crew
>turns out that guy was an apprentice and the real wizard kills me shortly afterwards

I have never felt so ashamed

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 5:19 pm
by tacolizard
Armhulen wrote:
D&B wrote:
Armhulen wrote:bagil has to use propaganda to get highpop, sad!


Since when are you an admin?

well, it all started when kraso called me armpit...



you became an admin like 3 days ago after shitposting in ooc that you wanted to be candidated. Whenever I do that people fling their shit at me.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 5:34 pm
by DemonFiren
I asked okand to candidate me.
Shortly thereafter okand vanished.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 5:35 pm
by Armhulen
DemonFiren wrote:I asked owegno to candidate me.
Shortly thereafter owegno vanished.

mental SNAKEDOWN miright

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 5:38 pm
by DemonFiren
you dumb frog had to quote me after i unmisremembered the admin

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 5:39 pm
by Armhulen
Looks like your a snake out of water!!

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Tue May 30, 2017 5:44 pm
by DemonFiren
sneks are ew
only lizzers here

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2017 7:01 pm
by Qbopper
tacolizard wrote:
Armhulen wrote:
D&B wrote:
Armhulen wrote:bagil has to use propaganda to get highpop, sad!


Since when are you an admin?

well, it all started when kraso called me armpit...



you became an admin like 3 days ago after shitposting in ooc that you wanted to be candidated. Whenever I do that people fling their shit at me.


the trick to becoming AC'd is to be liked

it's easy for people it dislike you when you ask for AC a lot/little/whatever amount is "more than once or twice", though

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2017 7:11 pm
by Armhulen
That's right I'm liked!

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2017 7:31 pm
by Kraso
Armhulen wrote:That's right I'm liked!

Wrong!

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2017 7:47 pm
by Armhulen
Kraso wrote:
Armhulen wrote:That's right I'm liked!

Wrong!

GET OUT OF MY THREAD OH MY GOD YOUR RUINING EVERYTHING HOLY SHIT STP

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2017 7:50 pm
by calzilla1
Armhulen wrote:
Kraso wrote:
Armhulen wrote:That's right I'm liked!

Wrong!

GET OUT OF MY THREAD OH MY GOD YOUR RUINING EVERYTHING HOLY SHIT STP

Ditto

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2017 8:44 pm
by Kraso
Armhulen wrote:
Kraso wrote:
Armhulen wrote:That's right I'm liked!

Wrong!

GET OUT OF MY THREAD OH MY GOD YOUR RUINING EVERYTHING HOLY SHIT STP

it'd be your thread if it was the feedback thread lol

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Wed May 31, 2017 9:03 pm
by tacolizard
Qbopper wrote:
tacolizard wrote:
Armhulen wrote:
D&B wrote:
Armhulen wrote:bagil has to use propaganda to get highpop, sad!


Since when are you an admin?

well, it all started when kraso called me armpit...



you became an admin like 3 days ago after shitposting in ooc that you wanted to be candidated. Whenever I do that people fling their shit at me.


the trick to becoming AC'd is to be liked

it's easy for people it dislike you when you ask for AC a lot/little/whatever amount is "more than once or twice", though


I don't ask very often, at least I don't think so. I've only really asked like 2 or three times mabye, the last time was probably last year.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Fri Jun 02, 2017 11:40 pm
by XDTM
>Scientist, metastation
>Tator, get documents
>Start doing RnD, people still recognize me from my guide
>Everything looks nice, miners bring stuff, xenobio is doing their thing, not much disruption
>Experiment a bit with launchpads
>Decide to buy a briefcase launchpad to get into the vault
>Steal documents ez pz
>Buy codespeak for me and a couple random people, but never get to use it
>Buy emag and tator encryption key
>30 minutes later
>Someone syndibombed medbay and rnd, there's a lot of sec around, station in chaos, shuttle called
>Hang in escape a bit, get bored, chat with an atmos tech building something
>AI announces they trapped the captain in their own room for their safety
>Something's fishy, let's get the cap out
>Go to cap's room maint with an emag
>Start setting up the pad...
>Tazed, cuffed, dragged to the brig
>who cares about captains and likely rogue AIs when you've got sweet valids
>get dragged to brig where every guard passing by loots some of my stuff without saying a word
>try to speak to the warden to explain that yes, i had traitor gear, but that i was trying to help
>"perma"
>"no, wait, gulag"
>shuttle comes in 5 minutes
>thankfully the HoP was passing by while i was in the telegulag tube, and explained to the warden that gulagging with the shuttle coming is dumb
>get dragged to escape by the warden
>warden gets knocked down by something
>run to the atmos tech and get uncuffed
>go back to the brig to at least get the briefcase back
>get into cap's room
>completely empty except for a corpse and an all-access id
>get to the shuttle, escape without documents, regret trying to help

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2017 12:48 pm
by Screemonster
XDTM wrote:snip

because fuck getting a good story when you can unzip that justiceboner amirite

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2017 3:35 pm
by Qbopper
XDTM wrote:ded


tbf it's kinda reasonable to shit your pants and arrest someone when you see them emagging, but if you explained the situation that's still kinda shitty of him (especially >gulag)

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2017 7:16 pm
by Qbmax32
>haven't rolled antag in a while
>bartender ling
>get shotgun, hack lathe and load up with slugs
>find out my target is another ling
>other ling gets caught and is getting dragged to chapel
>think I can steal his corpse away and id so I can greentext
>he's already been cremated
>ah whatever, feelsbadman
>wander around some more
>go into dorms, some chucklefuck emag'd the holodeck and released the homing missle bees that are three times faster then you
>run away, get killed in hallway
>someone drags me to cloning, I start stasis
>get defibbed, but too much tox and i die instantly
>get put in cloner
>some incompetent doctor pulls me out early, in crit and i bleed to death in front of her while she does nothing
>some imperfect person steals my corpse and drags it away to loot it
>don't get put back in to be cloned, morgue instead
>reeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2017 7:22 pm
by InsaneHyena
>Be changeling
>Die
>This is somehow a huge problem

Image

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2017 7:41 pm
by Qbmax32
well yeah, but the doctor is a fucking incompetent who would of cucked over any antag, ling or not

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sat Jun 03, 2017 9:07 pm
by XDTM
that's when you revive, beat them up to an inch of their life, put them in the cloner and then morgue them

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 6:32 am
by Armhulen
This should be story of awesome, You missed the part where I made your head scream shit.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 6:53 am
by IcePacks
InsaneHyena wrote:>Be changeling
>Die
>This is somehow a huge problem

Image


>be changeling
>wear clothes
Image

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 7:00 am
by calzilla1
CosmicScientist wrote:>Orion trail
>get silly 'cuffs
>go to medbay
>put the mime in 'cuffs, drag them in a 2x2 loop
>doctor with a syringe gun follows me closely
>drag mime to a disposals, climb in myself
>mime gets free
>doctor's still there
>start putting doctor in 'cuffs
>they didn't move
>drag them around for fun
>let them get out
>get stuffed into disposals
>didn't get flushed
>wait for auto flush
>get bored because auto flush was swifter back in my day I swearsies on me mam
>get out and run outside of medbay
>CMO and doctor give chase
>stop
>get needled
>can't move
>get injected with sleep toxin by hand
>get taken to sec, stripped
>unconscious but warden doesn't care? they drag me outside the brig and put my stuff on my face
>CMO and doc drag me to maint
>stripped
>they're wearing muh red glasses I got from the clothesmate
>taken to surgery, still unconscious
>anaesthetic tank
>Image
>waiting a long time for them to stab my limbs off (not even amputation surgery, have to wait for them to heal me because they don't want to kill me)
>pray to have something interesting happen since whilst I want to get up and have an excuse to go ham on them with some frakking spears, they appear to be turning me into a quadruple amputee so no spear throwing for me
>wake up, only have a right hand
>cunt is said a lot
>"You had it coming"
>fucking
>toy
>cuffs
>"But you had a fun adventure"
>was asleep for the torture porn so I couldn't bellow cunt and any other unimaginative vulgarities at them as they fail to play the game
>You hear a voice in your head... I can explode you, If you'd prefer that
>yesyesyes
>gibbed, bluuud errywhere, yay fun!
>it's clock cult
>cultists like cutting up potential converts?
>round end
>neither listed as cuck cult
>ahelp and probably give up spessmens for a week
>stop wondering why some people just ghost once they get put into a position that removes control of their character

I was the warden. I told them they were toy cuffs. In hind sight I should have woken you up. I shotgunned the CMO to death if that makes you feel any better

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 5:18 pm
by bman
calzilla1 wrote:
CosmicScientist wrote:ded

I was the warden. I told them they were toy cuffs. In hind sight I should have woken you up. I shotgunned the CMO to death if that makes you feel any better


calzilla MVP.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sun Jun 04, 2017 8:40 pm
by bman
>be assistant
>walk to bar
>see TERRY NEWDAY aka DESK DRAWER get the shit beat out of him, he's in crit, he also got morphined.
>drag him to med
>scan him, blood level fucking 60.
>no morphine anymore
>painfully break into surgery, get the -o blood, throw myself over the table, grab him and drag him to a UV, hook it up to him and he soon stands up
>Terry Newday says, "IT'S MORPHINE YOU FUCKING MOUTHBREATHIGN RETARD!!!!!!!11111111111111"
>walks away

>die inside

>regret even saving him from a 60% blood death
>never save anyone ever for a whole month

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 11:09 pm
by D&B
>Nuke Op
>Gear up with everyone
>Door to shuttle is depowered
>Open it
>There's no bridge
>Buy Elite Hardsuit and go to shuttle
>It's depowered
>Rush to the hardsuit section to give them out to my fellow ops
>Take bomb cores as we prepare to rush the disk
>We depart after doing some magic fuckery to fix the sending console (Literally unpowered shuttle)
>We make it on station
>Rush to the armory and plant a bomb core with minibomb
>Another OP sees me plant the bomb
>Stays in certain death radius
>Rush out to save him
>We both get critted



REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 11:12 pm
by lumipharon
If your team mate is dumb enough to stand that close, they're a liability, not an asset. You're unironically better off with them dead - less free loot for the crew.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Mon Jun 05, 2017 11:22 pm
by D&B
I realized that AFTER I died

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Wed Jun 14, 2017 6:57 pm
by Qbopper
>captain
>doing my pirate gimmick
>round has been very fucking chaotic with two/three harmful viruses (shoutout to the chemists on deck my fucking god you guys stayed on top of that)
>it's taken a long time but the shuttle is finally here
>pretty good round so far, had some competent sec and medbay players so it was ok
>get onto shuttle
>leaves
>hear someone being beat up in the shuttle brig
>ask the mech in the bridge to move
>walk outside into the brig
>in the time it took the mech to move everyone has gained a chainsaw and begun to murder eachother
>the warden chops my head off
>ask "what the fuck was that"
>apparently it's some kind of lavaland item

three rounds in a row with no fun allowed and this one's sodium was created by an item from my least favorite thing in the game

:salt: :salt: :salt: :salt: :salt: :salt: :salt: :salt: :salt: :salt:

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 5:46 pm
by CPTANT
>I am Nuke op
>go war
>Full rambo SAW mowing down half the crew
>finally fight my way to the captain
>After like a 10 minute firefight take him down
>drag him to space
>get hit by space dust

Image

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 7:17 pm
by D&B
CPTANT wrote:>I am Nuke op
>go war
>Full rambo SAW mowing down half the crew
>finally fight my way to the captain
>After like a 10 minute firefight take him down
>drag him to space
>get hit by space dust

Image


Can you smell what the rock is cooking?

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 7:33 pm
by Reyn
We had another stressful round after that one above this post, where the ai was rogue and we had changelings and some mother fucker kept recalling the shuttle. oh, and i was murdered by the curator who wasnt an antagonist OR a ling, as he stayed down when he was killed by someone else, and we burnt the curators body to make sure he doesnt get cloned

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Fri Jun 16, 2017 10:40 pm
by MrAlphonzo
>Roundstart assistant, grab tools, soap, slip a knife in my boots, find some insulos, go about my day.
>Absolute clusterfuck in engie maint, CE is kidnapped and murdered, a lawyer has krav maga gloves and an e-bow, and there's a ton of blood.
>Slip the lawyer, grab the e-bow, shoot the lawyer, two other chucklefucks drag her in the back and kill her.
>Grab an e-sword, try to understand what the fuck is going on but this unknown in a balaclava is insisting on trying to kill me.
>Run out to heal, hear an explosion, balaclava cunt comes out and explains that him and the engineer were both traitors, the engineer was his target. GIves me an emag and secbelt ontop of what I already collected.
>Balaclava guy flees, just in time for the HoS to show up and confuse me for the actual murderer.
>Cuffed, HoS is very open minded,I tell him the full story, he lets me go with all the stuff I got to boot.
>Brig blows up, spot a panic siphon, AI is probably subverted or malf.
>Run into R&D, try to get to the RD's AI sat camera console to see whats going on.
>For some reason, the captain is there, talking to a borg next to a deconstructed borg console.
>Captain hints at the borg to take care of me, he it takes him a second but by then I've already ran into disposals.
>About five other people call out about the captain being a ling.
>Borg and AI try on multiple occasions to kill me, so I decide to grab a flash.
>While I'm trying to find the borg, a scientist has downed the Capling, but not for long.
>I run in and finish the capling with my e-sword.
>Go down the hall, flash the borg, try to emag him.
>RNG decides to fuck me over and make my flash burn out. My fault, I guess, for not pushing the borg's welding tank away.
>Borg manages to welderbomb me a split second before I can emag him, but the scientist who I just helped kill the capling shows up.
>And they help the borg kill me
>They help the asimov borg kill me

This is why people only play for antag.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 4:28 am
by bman
IN WHICH SEC ARRESTS ME FOR HAVING INSULATED GLOVES
Spoiler:
Eduardo Fischer is trying to put handcuffs on Parker Jones!

Eduardo Fischer has pulled Parker Jones from Bruce Bousum's grip.

Eduardo Fischer has grabbed Parker Jones passively!

Bruce Bousum puts the stunbaton into the leather satchel.

Adam Twelve sighs.

Parker Jones says, "Okay"

[Common] Jere Stradford says, "If the clown is rogue, bring me their mask afterwards. ive been craving a clown burger."

Ian exclaims, "Woof!"

Azura Stafford says, "LET ME IN"

Eduardo Fischer says, "We gotta search you"

[Common] Madra Tossilan says, "Someone cremate him"

[Common] Lucia Seidner asks, "I'm getting Atmos and fire alarms in Xenobio. Is everything OK there?"

Adam Twelve says, "What's needed"

Parker Jones asks, "Care to explain my crime?"

[Common] DeeGle Nashun slurs, "HELP"

Eduardo Fischer says, "And ask a few questions"

Alina Giovanna gasps!

Parker Jones says, "Bruh"

[Common] DeeGle Nashun slurs, "THEY"

Parker Jones says, "Okay"

[Common] DeeGle Nashun slurs, "FU'CKINGG"

[Common] Madra Tossilan says, "Lets get the clown LIZ"

[Common] Azura Stafford says, "AI LET MEIN"

Eduardo Fischer buckles you to the chair!

Parker Jones says, "This is a waste of time"

Parker Jones says, "But whatever"

You attempt to unbuckle yourself... (This will take around one minute and you need to stay still.)

[Common] Bruce Bousum asks, "Detective can you ok my promotion to your assistant please?"

Eduardo Fischer asks, "Where'd you get those gloves, Parker?"

[Common] Azura Stafford says, "SORRY"

Parker Jones says, "Also sec is very incompetent"

Eduardo Fischer tries to remove Parker Jones's leather satchel.

[Common] Azura Stafford says, "DIDNT KNOW THIS THING WAS THIS POWERFUL"

Parker Jones asks, "Gloves?"

Parker Jones asks, "That's your issue?"

Parker Jones asks, "Gloves?"

Parker Jones says, "Goddamn sec."

Parker Jones says, "HOT damn"

Eduardo Fischer says, "It's related to a bigger picture, Parker"

Eduardo Fischer says, "A matter of station security"

Eduardo Fischer says, "I need to know"

Eduardo Fischer asks, "Where did you get them?"

*beep*

You unbuckle yourself from the chair.

Parker Jones says, "Did someone drop this entire department on its head"

[Common] Selenium III rattles, "So, does anyone feel like helping someone trapped in disposals out"

Eduardo Fischer says, "Parker"

Eduardo Fischer says, "I asked a question"

Parker Jones says, "Parker my ass"

[Common] Terrel Lord says, "Borg to medical lobby"

Eduardo Fischer says, "Now answer it"

[Common] Terrel Lord says, "Shake me up"

Parker Jones says, "Gloves are out of the wazoo"

Parker Jones says, "You brought me here for fucking"

[Common] L.I.Z. states, "Coming"

Parker Jones says, "Yellow gloves"

Parker Jones says, "You should be ashamed of yourself det."

[Common] Selenium III rattles, "I am currently stuck in a distro loop"

Eduardo Fischer says, "It's related to something bigger"

Parker Jones attempts to remove the handcuffs!

You attempt to remove the handcuffs... (This will take around 1 minutes and you need to stand still.)

Parker Jones says, "What bigger-"

Parker Jones says, "Also"

Eduardo Fischer puts the box into the leather satchel.

Parker Jones says, "How come you didnt ask me about the fucking"

[Common] The Automated Announcement System coldly states, "Aiden Burnside has signed up as Warden"

Parker Jones says, "CABLE CUFFS"

Parker Jones says, "EMP GRENADE"

[Common] Selenium III rattles, "I am stuck in the distro pipes outside cargonia"

Parker Jones says, "SMOKE GRENADE"


Eduardo Fischer says, "I was about to bud"

Parker Jones says, "JUST THE GLOVES"

Parker Jones says, "Anyways"

Eduardo Fischer asks, "Why in the name of hell do you have these grenades?"

Parker Jones says, "All of my shit"

Parker Jones says, "Is from cargo's maint"

Eduardo Fischer has knocked down Parker Jones with the police baton!

You fail to remove the handcuffs!

Parker Jones asks, "Happy?"

Eduardo Fischer shakes Parker Jones trying to get him up!

Eduardo Fischer has knocked down Parker Jones with the police baton!

Parker Jones says, "Uh"

Eduardo Fischer shakes Parker Jones trying to get him up!

Eduardo Fischer buckles you to the chair!

Parker Jones says, "What the fuck are you doin"

Eduardo Fischer asks, "Cargo maint?"

[Common] Adam Twelve exclaims, "HoP line closing in 2 minutes. If you want a job change come by quick!"

Parker Jones says, "Yeah"

Eduardo Fischer points the forensic scanner at the flashbang and performs a forensic scan.

Eduardo Fischer says, "Well"

Eduardo Fischer says, "I can believe the grenades"

Eduardo Fischer says, "Hm..."

Parker Jones says, "You arrested a guy for yellow gloves"

Eduardo Fischer says, "Look, I'm taking the cuffs and grenade, but you keep the gloves. Seems like you ain't the perp we're looking for"

Eduardo Fischer says, "It's part of a bigger picture, Parker, and I don't have the time to explain it"

Parker Jones says, "There's no point in taking away these nades"

Parker Jones says, "All it takes-"

Parker Jones says, "BIGGER PICTURE"

Parker Jones says, "I BET SOMEONE SLIPPED YOU"

Parker Jones says, "I BET IT'S THAT"

Eduardo Fischer says, "No"

[Common] Jere Stradford asks, "Can we get a janitor to the kitchen?"

Eduardo Fischer says, "I would have caught the fucker already"

Parker Jones says, "No you wouldn't"

Parker Jones says, "Cause you're wasting your time here"

Parker Jones says, "With someone"

Parker Jones says, "Cause they have insulated gloves"

Eduardo Fischer has grabbed Parker Jones passively!

Eduardo Fischer unbuckles you from the chair.

You're restrained! You can't move!

Parker Jones says, "That's not a sign of competence"

Eduardo Fischer tries to put the leather satchel on Parker Jones.

Eduardo Fischer says, "Parker, shut the fuck up. You don't understand what's going on here"

[Common] Walter Kifer says, "ROBOTICS IS REQUESTING A CORPSE"

Parker Jones says, "Yeah I do"

[Common] Walter Kifer says, "OR A HEART"

[Common] Walter Kifer says, "WHATEVER"

Parker Jones says, "You're a bad det."

[Common] Walter Kifer says, "I NEED THAT BIOTECH 6"

Eduardo Fischer tries to remove Parker Jones's handcuffs.

Parker Jones says, "And sec is fucked"

Eduardo Fischer points the forensic scanner at the backpack and performs a forensic scan.

You're restrained! You can't move!

[Common] Hash states, "Why tf didn't you take my heart"

You're restrained! You can't move!

Eduardo Fischer puts the forensic scanner into the box.

[Common] Hash states, "You nerd"

Eduardo Fischer tries to remove Parker Jones's Parker Jones's ID Card (Assistant).

[Common] Parker Jones says, "Sec arrested me for having yellow gloves"

Parker Jones says, "Sec arrested me for having yellow gloves"

Eduardo Fischer has thrown Parker Jones's ID Card (Assistant).

Parker Jones asks, "Why did you take my ID?"
Eduardo Fischer buckles you to the chair! // im bucklecuffed in the court, he leaves.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 4:40 am
by D&B
bman wrote:IN WHICH SEC ARRESTS ME FOR HAVING INSULATED GLOVES
Spoiler:
Eduardo Fischer is trying to put handcuffs on Parker Jones!

Eduardo Fischer has pulled Parker Jones from Bruce Bousum's grip.

Eduardo Fischer has grabbed Parker Jones passively!

Bruce Bousum puts the stunbaton into the leather satchel.

Adam Twelve sighs.

Parker Jones says, "Okay"

[Common] Jere Stradford says, "If the clown is rogue, bring me their mask afterwards. ive been craving a clown burger."

Ian exclaims, "Woof!"

Azura Stafford says, "LET ME IN"

Eduardo Fischer says, "We gotta search you"

[Common] Madra Tossilan says, "Someone cremate him"

[Common] Lucia Seidner asks, "I'm getting Atmos and fire alarms in Xenobio. Is everything OK there?"

Adam Twelve says, "What's needed"

Parker Jones asks, "Care to explain my crime?"

[Common] DeeGle Nashun slurs, "HELP"

Eduardo Fischer says, "And ask a few questions"

Alina Giovanna gasps!

Parker Jones says, "Bruh"

[Common] DeeGle Nashun slurs, "THEY"

Parker Jones says, "Okay"

[Common] DeeGle Nashun slurs, "FU'CKINGG"

[Common] Madra Tossilan says, "Lets get the clown LIZ"

[Common] Azura Stafford says, "AI LET MEIN"

Eduardo Fischer buckles you to the chair!

Parker Jones says, "This is a waste of time"

Parker Jones says, "But whatever"

You attempt to unbuckle yourself... (This will take around one minute and you need to stay still.)

[Common] Bruce Bousum asks, "Detective can you ok my promotion to your assistant please?"

Eduardo Fischer asks, "Where'd you get those gloves, Parker?"

[Common] Azura Stafford says, "SORRY"

Parker Jones says, "Also sec is very incompetent"

Eduardo Fischer tries to remove Parker Jones's leather satchel.

[Common] Azura Stafford says, "DIDNT KNOW THIS THING WAS THIS POWERFUL"

Parker Jones asks, "Gloves?"

Parker Jones asks, "That's your issue?"

Parker Jones asks, "Gloves?"

Parker Jones says, "Goddamn sec."

Parker Jones says, "HOT damn"

Eduardo Fischer says, "It's related to a bigger picture, Parker"

Eduardo Fischer says, "A matter of station security"

Eduardo Fischer says, "I need to know"

Eduardo Fischer asks, "Where did you get them?"

*beep*

You unbuckle yourself from the chair.

Parker Jones says, "Did someone drop this entire department on its head"

[Common] Selenium III rattles, "So, does anyone feel like helping someone trapped in disposals out"

Eduardo Fischer says, "Parker"

Eduardo Fischer says, "I asked a question"

Parker Jones says, "Parker my ass"

[Common] Terrel Lord says, "Borg to medical lobby"

Eduardo Fischer says, "Now answer it"

[Common] Terrel Lord says, "Shake me up"

Parker Jones says, "Gloves are out of the wazoo"

Parker Jones says, "You brought me here for fucking"

[Common] L.I.Z. states, "Coming"

Parker Jones says, "Yellow gloves"

Parker Jones says, "You should be ashamed of yourself det."

[Common] Selenium III rattles, "I am currently stuck in a distro loop"

Eduardo Fischer says, "It's related to something bigger"

Parker Jones attempts to remove the handcuffs!

You attempt to remove the handcuffs... (This will take around 1 minutes and you need to stand still.)

Parker Jones says, "What bigger-"

Parker Jones says, "Also"

Eduardo Fischer puts the box into the leather satchel.

Parker Jones says, "How come you didnt ask me about the fucking"

[Common] The Automated Announcement System coldly states, "Aiden Burnside has signed up as Warden"

Parker Jones says, "CABLE CUFFS"

Parker Jones says, "EMP GRENADE"

[Common] Selenium III rattles, "I am stuck in the distro pipes outside cargonia"

Parker Jones says, "SMOKE GRENADE"


Eduardo Fischer says, "I was about to bud"

Parker Jones says, "JUST THE GLOVES"

Parker Jones says, "Anyways"

Eduardo Fischer asks, "Why in the name of hell do you have these grenades?"

Parker Jones says, "All of my shit"

Parker Jones says, "Is from cargo's maint"

Eduardo Fischer has knocked down Parker Jones with the police baton!

You fail to remove the handcuffs!

Parker Jones asks, "Happy?"

Eduardo Fischer shakes Parker Jones trying to get him up!

Eduardo Fischer has knocked down Parker Jones with the police baton!

Parker Jones says, "Uh"

Eduardo Fischer shakes Parker Jones trying to get him up!

Eduardo Fischer buckles you to the chair!

Parker Jones says, "What the fuck are you doin"

Eduardo Fischer asks, "Cargo maint?"

[Common] Adam Twelve exclaims, "HoP line closing in 2 minutes. If you want a job change come by quick!"

Parker Jones says, "Yeah"

Eduardo Fischer points the forensic scanner at the flashbang and performs a forensic scan.

Eduardo Fischer says, "Well"

Eduardo Fischer says, "I can believe the grenades"

Eduardo Fischer says, "Hm..."

Parker Jones says, "You arrested a guy for yellow gloves"

Eduardo Fischer says, "Look, I'm taking the cuffs and grenade, but you keep the gloves. Seems like you ain't the perp we're looking for"

Eduardo Fischer says, "It's part of a bigger picture, Parker, and I don't have the time to explain it"

Parker Jones says, "There's no point in taking away these nades"

Parker Jones says, "All it takes-"

Parker Jones says, "BIGGER PICTURE"

Parker Jones says, "I BET SOMEONE SLIPPED YOU"

Parker Jones says, "I BET IT'S THAT"

Eduardo Fischer says, "No"

[Common] Jere Stradford asks, "Can we get a janitor to the kitchen?"

Eduardo Fischer says, "I would have caught the fucker already"

Parker Jones says, "No you wouldn't"

Parker Jones says, "Cause you're wasting your time here"

Parker Jones says, "With someone"

Parker Jones says, "Cause they have insulated gloves"

Eduardo Fischer has grabbed Parker Jones passively!

Eduardo Fischer unbuckles you from the chair.

You're restrained! You can't move!

Parker Jones says, "That's not a sign of competence"

Eduardo Fischer tries to put the leather satchel on Parker Jones.

Eduardo Fischer says, "Parker, shut the fuck up. You don't understand what's going on here"

[Common] Walter Kifer says, "ROBOTICS IS REQUESTING A CORPSE"

Parker Jones says, "Yeah I do"

[Common] Walter Kifer says, "OR A HEART"

[Common] Walter Kifer says, "WHATEVER"

Parker Jones says, "You're a bad det."

[Common] Walter Kifer says, "I NEED THAT BIOTECH 6"

Eduardo Fischer tries to remove Parker Jones's handcuffs.

Parker Jones says, "And sec is fucked"

Eduardo Fischer points the forensic scanner at the backpack and performs a forensic scan.

You're restrained! You can't move!

[Common] Hash states, "Why tf didn't you take my heart"

You're restrained! You can't move!

Eduardo Fischer puts the forensic scanner into the box.

[Common] Hash states, "You nerd"

Eduardo Fischer tries to remove Parker Jones's Parker Jones's ID Card (Assistant).

[Common] Parker Jones says, "Sec arrested me for having yellow gloves"

Parker Jones says, "Sec arrested me for having yellow gloves"

Eduardo Fischer has thrown Parker Jones's ID Card (Assistant).

Parker Jones asks, "Why did you take my ID?"
Eduardo Fischer buckles you to the chair! // im bucklecuffed in the court, he leaves.


>Get arrested and asked where you found the gloves
>Not even processed through the brig, just questioned
>Behave petulantly and fitful during the whole thing, ignoring the question and instead resorting to being passive aggressive
>WOW WTF SHITCURITY AMIRITE

I mean I'm not saying to lick their ass but you would have saved yourself the trouble by saying maint, no?

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 5:36 am
by bman
D&B wrote:
>Get arrested and asked where you found the gloves
>Not even processed through the brig, just questioned
i did get processed this round and they did nothing about the gloves that time. my crime that time was punching someone who threw me into people.
if you played that round you'd be complaining about shitty sec too.

>Behave petulantly and fitful during the whole thing, ignoring the question and instead resorting to being passive aggressive
if you arrest someone for having insulated gloves no shit they wont be cooperative
>WOW WTF SHITCURITY AMIRITE

I mean I'm not saying to lick their ass but you would have saved yourself the trouble by saying maint, no?
>waste my time dragging me to interrogation trying to act all professional, beat me with a baton silently and without reason before returning to their seat
>expect cooperation


In which security main rushes to the rescue.

also they could've literally just met me in the hall and say; "where did you get the gloves from" rather than wordlessly stunning me

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 6:03 am
by bman
If this sec is so antisocial and incapable of asking a simple question which takes like 5 seconds they have to arrest me and drag me to the brig in cuffs and "interrogate" me then I'll shit on them no doubt.

what's worse is that you defend these kind of silent autists who have to arrest you just to ask you a single question

stop.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sat Jun 17, 2017 11:51 pm
by Limski
>be nukeop
>some idiot declares war
>we get reinforcements
>everyone dies off in the first 5 minutes expect me and one guy
>Run towards the captain, tase, secure the disk
>give the disk to other op and tell him to get back to the ship and arm the nuke (Because I don't know how to arm the nuke,I had ops turned off for nearly a year in preferences)
>he leaves the z-level
>shuttle almost here
>go for a last ditch attempt to secure the disk with no ammo/weapons left
>my mate dies in the process
>I get the disk, all is well
>get back to the ship to get the nuke
>"fuck, I don't know how to arm the nuke"
>-BWOINK- "Just take it to a station tile and arm it there"
>Go to arrivals, since its the closest (deltastation, we landed north)
>Fumble with the nuke and die before arming the nuke because the greytide was approaching nd I had nothing left, also inexperience

Just put the fucking gun to my head and pull the trigger, I wish not to live anymore.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Sun Jun 18, 2017 11:30 pm
by InsaneHyena
>Take a break from SS13
>Come back. You are a mime! You are a changeling!
>Gotta steal the nuclear core, gotta kill the CMO, gotta steal CE's identity
>Sounds easy enough
>Immediately turns out that I forgot the hotkey for switching hands
>Buy your average set - EMP scream, armblade, cryosting, adrenals, healing and lesser form just in case.
>Hide my traitor box in a disabled disposals, so it won't give me away if I'm searched
>First things first - gotta steal CE's identity.
>But in order to do that, I need to become an engineer first
>Luckily, there's an engineer just nearby, in the secluded main
>Cryosting, whack him with the armblade until he stops resisting
>Feel my heart pounding in my chest, as I drag him to the airlock
>Somehow, nobody sees me, as I strip the engineer and assume her identity
>But immediately after I return to the station, I see two assistans staring at the bloody trail I've left behind
>"Hey, that's not an engie, that's the mime."
>SHIT. How did they find out?
>Break my vow of silence and ask them how come.
>I'm still wearing my jumpsuit, but they can't see it through the hardsuit, right?
>They point out that I'm wearing mime's PDA on my belt.
>Oh, right. I... Stole it, because mime is a cunt. Yes.
>Assistants demand that I prove it by shoving them my face.
>Turns out, the engie was a catgirl. What a degenerate.
>Satisfied, they drop the case, and I leave.
>Drop into medbay to see if CMO is around, but he's not.
>Okay, back to assassinating CE.
>He's setting up a supermatter. There are some witnesses around, but it's okay - I just cryostung them, and then I'll "take him to medbay"
>Also, it turns out that my hardsuit is not resistant to radiation
>Luckily, by the time CE is all alone, my hallucinations largely go away.
>Helpfully drag him away to medbay.
>As in, to space, to be stripped.
>I got his ID, now I just need to...
>DNA... Sting...
>Shit, cryosting turned him into a husk.
>I can't take any DNA from a husk.
>What do?
>Am I fucked now?
>Hold on, I've got a genius idea.
>Drag him to medbay after all, in my CE hardsuit, hopefully nobody expects me to speak.
>Specifically, to cloning
>Because the medbay staff is busy fighting a few zombies, nobody notices how I steal his body from the cloning scanner
>And place him into genetics scanner
>Make an injector with his DNA
>It's not permament - I think Sticky is to blame - but it will do for my purposes.
>Also, shuttle is called with red alert because of those few zombies. Fuck playing the game, amirite?
>Oh, also there's something about CE sabotaging the supermatter? I don't know, I dindu nuffin.
>As I leave medbay, notice that the zombie got a couple of cheap shots as me, so I'm somewhat slow
>Gotta fleshmend.
>Oh shit, fleshmend isn't subtle, is it? I forgot about it.
>The detective nearby stares at me.
>Then pulls his weapons out.
>SHIT
>Run as fast as I can
>Which is not very fast, with a hardsuit on
>He lands a blow on me, but joke's on him - I've got adrenals
>Stand up, ditch the hardsuit and run
>AI saw this whole thing, and is helpfully screaming directions to security
>Disappear into the maint, transform into the mime and put on my stuff.
>Okay, I've got very little time - now I must steal the nuclear core.
>Check the disposals where I've hidden my stash
>Nothing there
>Well, fuck me then. I'll find the box eventually, it's probably in the disposal room.
>Check the medbay again, CMO is nowhere to be seen. Maybe he's dead already?
>Speaking of heads of staff, there's a real manhunt on the CE for being a changeling, who sabotaged the engine.
>A successful manhunt, because he's alive and kicking - I took him to cloning myself, after all.
>The shuttle arrives, and I still haven't found my box. Find a braindead zombie, inject him with CE's DNA, sting him and steal his.
>Alright, just gotta check the shuttle - is CMO there?
>He is! Fighting of zombies with the rest of the crew.
>Sting him and leave only when I see him in crit.
>Go to the pod - predictably, the windows are broken, but I RCD myself in a nice metal coffin.
>Alright, gotta transform into CE now.
>And put on my CE ID
>Wait, what?
>Oh shit, I'm a zombie.
>When did that happen?
>Transform into a different form
>Still a zombie
>Lesser form
>Monkey with zombie hands
>Have a little breakdown, before I realize my mistake
>Transform into a guy, who I didn't sting while he was hungry for brains
>Put on the ID
>Transform back into zombie CE
>Okay, I didn't accomplish ALL of my tasks, because of 20 minute round, but 3/4 isn't that bad, right?
>More like 2/4, because I failed to kill CMO.
>Before round ends, jump to him and see how did he survive
>Oh, he's a zombie. For some reason, you count as alive as a zombie, despite being a literal walking corpse.
>Well, fuck my life.

Fuck memerol.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 1:41 am
by TheWulfe
>I observe because I'm doing other non-urgent stuff but I might be a ghost role if there's a cool oppurtunity (great Ashwalker positioning/creep farm zone, etc.)
>always check if Nuke Ops/Wizard spawned before anything because I can observe and watch coolshit
>it's Flukes
>The Syndicate Lavaland Base is one of the ghost roles
>the Lavaland base has a cam system, so you can be comms support to Nuke Ops in the Comms Room if you want to
>I can be the Oracle to the Nuke Op's Batman!
>spawn in and work the Comms Room
>so being in the moment and thinking I'm so tacticool I bust out something like "Alright Nuke Ops, this is the lavaland base ready to provide visual support, the disk is in the Captains office, it was never secured"
>the kicker? The Syndicate Lavaland Base's intercomms has one of their Pirate Radio Intercoms right next to the cams computer have their microphone on by default, so I spouted that shit on the common radio even if I was using :h
>[Common] Syndie McLavaland says: "Alright Nuke Ops, this is the lavaland base ready to provide visual support, the disk is in the Captains office, it was never secured."
>oh God no
>I just wound up blowing the op team's cover
>get called an idiot and the ops have to rush in
>watch the Ops take unnecessary casualties in nuking the station
>they still win
>throw myself into lava in shame

For a silver lining, it actually stopped a boring 'Syndicate just walks to the Cap's office for the unsecured disk, fucks off and instantly wins' and made it competitive and the ops still won.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 6:46 pm
by Lazengann
TheWulfe wrote:>I observe because I'm doing other non-urgent stuff but I might be a ghost role if there's a cool oppurtunity (great Ashwalker positioning/creep farm zone, etc.)
>always check if Nuke Ops/Wizard spawned before anything because I can observe and watch coolshit
>it's Flukes
>The Syndicate Lavaland Base is one of the ghost roles
>the Lavaland base has a cam system, so you can be comms support to Nuke Ops in the Comms Room if you want to
>I can be the Oracle to the Nuke Op's Batman!
>spawn in and work the Comms Room
>so being in the moment and thinking I'm so tacticool I bust out something like "Alright Nuke Ops, this is the lavaland base ready to provide visual support, the disk is in the Captains office, it was never secured"
>the kicker? The Syndicate Lavaland Base's intercomms has one of their Pirate Radio Intercoms right next to the cams computer have their microphone on by default, so I spouted that shit on the common radio even if I was using :h
>[Common] Syndie McLavaland says: "Alright Nuke Ops, this is the lavaland base ready to provide visual support, the disk is in the Captains office, it was never secured."
>oh God no
>I just wound up blowing the op team's cover
>get called an idiot and the ops have to rush in
>watch the Ops take unnecessary casualties in nuking the station
>they still win
>throw myself into lava in shame

For a silver lining, it actually stopped a boring 'Syndicate just walks to the Cap's office for the unsecured disk, fucks off and instantly wins' and made it competitive and the ops still won.

I did this the other day and felt ashamed for hours
Coders please disable that microphone

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Mon Jun 19, 2017 7:17 pm
by Anonmare
I ask to be smitten when I did that once but thankfully the crew were too autistic to pay attention to what the strange person not on the manifest was saying

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Tue Jun 20, 2017 4:31 am
by Segmented
Did that a few days ago, but I managed to play it off as a joke and got the crew hunting for a nonexistent blob.

Re: Stories of rage, tears and regret

PostPosted: Wed Jun 21, 2017 2:18 am
by Qbmax32
>you are the research director
>make sure the nerds are doing their work
>in xenobio when wiznerd summons guns
>wiz dies in 10 minutes
>hey we have guns, scienceia is independent now
>captain makes a law for ai that allows her to make anyone she wants valid for the ai to kill
>scienceia is going well, xenobio rushing light pink and gold slimes
>science sec officer approaches me with captain
>captain asks me if science wants to be independent
>say yes, but without violence
>get tased, dragged to brig and executed for "high treason "
>xenobio raises an army of slimes but does nothing with them
>captain marking people she doesn't like as valid for the ai
>ahelp the faggot captain
>only gets a warning
>reeeeeeeeeeere