/tg/Station 13

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Wyzack wrote:Job: Detective
This is huge. A break-in conspiracy to rob EVA orchestrated by the entire station, possibly to sell the goods to the syndicate high command
ACTION: Throw shit at the exposed grill until it breaks, dive through the opening and flee to maintenance where i can plan my retaliation against these syndicate collaborator scum

[3]
You hide in maintenance and begin to plot your revenge

Scones wrote:JOB: I'M THE CAPTAIN
ACTION: GOOD THING THERE IS A CROWBAR IN THAT RED TOOLBOX ON THE BRIDGE. LET MYSELF OUT AND GO UP TO THE BRIG

[1]
You drop the crowbar on your foot, breaking both it and your foot. Your stubbed toe urges you to call the shuttle.

Drynwyn wrote:JOB: DOORKNOB
ACTION: BLAME SMES EXPLOSION ON SHADOWLINGS

[2]
The crew don't believe you and a few people begin to call you rogue

DemonFiren wrote:Job: pAI
Action: Pray to the adminbus that they support the TC-for-cool-shit exchange so I can get my robust on.

[3]
The Gods do not deign to intervene at this time, however, they refrain from smiting you

Shaps wrote:Job: CMO
Action: I LAY ON THE GROUND AFTER HAVING FLASHED MYSELF AND GOOF, FEELING SATISFIED. I THEN GET UP, WORDLESSLY PAT GOOF ON THE SHOULDER REASSURINGLY AND LEAVE TO WALK AROUND THE STATION LOOKING FOR SOMEONE TO HELP

[3]
You cannot find anyone to help

peoplearestrange wrote:Job: Engiebadborg
Action: *buzz in frustration. Ask the AI what to do next.

[1]
You can't get the AI to respond. People blame you for the SMES explosion, and call you rogue

Ezel wrote:Job:Assistent
As a greytide i seek a toolbelt metal tools and a battery in tool storage

[4]
You find a full toolbelt, a battery and a stack of metal

Thunder11 wrote:Thunder12345 - Security Officer
Action: Step off of arrivals shuttle and attempt to reach the brig safely

[-1]
I take a wrong turning and walk out the airlock. I am dead.

Whoa. One halfway decent roll.

What are your dice, cursed?

This die thinks you're all faggots.

Name: Topham
Position: Chucklefuck Chief Engineer

Action: Arriving late to the station, I'm disappointed to see a complete lack of engineers. The unbearable screeches of an RD stuck in a slime pen and the cap complaining about his toe fuel my disappointment. I can already foresee the station being lit by nothing but flashlights and plasma fires. Sighing, I head to my office and throw on my engineering goggles and insulated gloves, and make sure I have a full toolbelt as well as an analyzer and remote signaler.

Ded thred

I can and will hope for the best okay ;u;

Topham wrote:Name: Topham
Position: Chucklefuck Chief Engineer

Action: Arriving late to the station, I'm disappointed to see a complete lack of engineers. The unbearable screeches of an RD stuck in a slime pen and the cap complaining about his toe fuel my disappointment. I can already foresee the station being lit by nothing but flashlights and plasma fires. Sighing, I head to my office and throw on my engineering goggles and insulated gloves, and make sure I have a full toolbelt as well as an analyzer and remote signaler.

[2]
Your office was looted, you only manage to find a toolbelt and an analyser.

Job: pAI
Action: Since all the other newcops are silent and/or baffled, I concoct a plan to raid the station.

(Also, UNCURSE YOUR FUCKING DIE)

Job:assistant

I move with the greytide horde

DemonFiren wrote:Job: pAI
Action: Since all the other newcops are silent and/or baffled, I concoct a plan to raid the station.

(Also, UNCURSE YOUR FUCKING DIE)

[6]
You prepare your grand master plan to secure the disk. You then realise you need a body, and manage to acquire an advanced syndieborg shell with a pAI slot and a single hand. Now if only someone would plug you in...

Ezel wrote:Job:assistant

I move with the greytide horde

[2]
You trip over a dropped banana skin and lose track of your companions.

Your dice really are cursed, but BORG BODY FUCK YEAH.

BRB, I gotta go PM the rest of the players. GET DAT FAKKEN THREAD.

Samuel spade prowls maintenance, contemplating the conspiracy he has uncovered. I build a hidden autismfort in maint where I can launch my counter operation from

Wyzack wrote:Samuel spade prowls maintenance, contemplating the conspiracy he has uncovered. I build a hidden autismfort in maint where I can launch my counter operation from

[6]
While building your autismfort, you find a full black and red toolbox, and insulated gloves, with fibres from an assistant's clothes.

I kinda gotta wait for the AWWPERTIVES to get back into this game...

...so, I guess it may or may not die again.

The operative looked over to the syndicate borg shell, wondering just how it got there. She could've sworn it wasn't there a minute ago. Shrugging, Cadence Meme took the pAI and slid it into the port on the cyborg, flicking the conspicuously-labelled 'on' switch and being careful to avoid the similarly-coloured 'kill' switch right next to it.

"Who made these things, anyway? We don't need killswitches for Syndicate borgs... anyway, we need a plan. How does this sound? We go in via the teleporter to the test site, infiltrate through the Toxins airlocks, get the disk, exfil."

Cadence looked up at the ceiling, double-checking she remembered to turn her headset off before saying that. "And then... boom. What do you think?"

Name: OPERATIVE OPERATING OPERA-- Cadence Meme
Action: Plug in PHOENIX.PORTABLE into the borg shell and come up with a plan!

Job: pAI
Action: State that I've already come up with a plan, and repeat it to the assembly of miscreants in front of me. Put emphasis on the fact that I have a hand slot.

"AI WE ARE LOSING MONEY BECAUSE I AM UNABLE TO CONTROL THE STATION DUE TO THE SEVERITY OF MY BROKEN TOE, PLEASE CALL THE LIFEBOAT"

Action: Complain in OOC about toe-stubbing mechanics, sit on the Bridge.

TheNightingale wrote:The operative looked over to the syndicate borg shell, wondering just how it got there. She could've sworn it wasn't there a minute ago. Shrugging, Cadence Meme took the pAI and slid it into the port on the cyborg, flicking the conspicuously-labelled 'on' switch and being careful to avoid the similarly-coloured 'kill' switch right next to it.

"Who made these things, anyway? We don't need killswitches for Syndicate borgs... anyway, we need a plan. How does this sound? We go in via the teleporter to the test site, infiltrate through the Toxins airlocks, get the disk, exfil."

Cadence looked up at the ceiling, double-checking she remembered to turn her headset off before saying that. "And then... boom. What do you think?"

Name: OPERATIVE OPERATING OPERA-- Cadence Meme
Action: Plug in PHOENIX.PORTABLE into the borg shell and come up with a plan!

[1]
The pAI won't fit, you need to find an adapter cable. You fail to think of any workable plan.

DemonFiren wrote:Job: pAI
Action: State that I've already come up with a plan, and repeat it to the assembly of miscreants in front of me. Put emphasis on the fact that I have a hand slot.

[1]
They refuse to listen to your plan, and as you cannot fit into the borg shell, you have no hands.

Scones wrote: "AI WE ARE LOSING MONEY BECAUSE I AM UNABLE TO CONTROL THE STATION DUE TO THE SEVERITY OF MY BROKEN TOE, PLEASE CALL THE LIFEBOAT"

Action: Complain in OOC about toe-stubbing mechanics, sit on the Bridge.

[3]
Nobody is interested in your rant

I go to brig to call the warden a butt sniffer

So that is where my luck from the BS12 tabletopping sessiosn ended up.

Fucking hell.

Ezel wrote:I go to brig to call the warden a butt sniffer

[3]
You call the warden a butt sniffer

Name: redblaze3000
Job: Ligger Nuke op
action: Ask why we are listening to a pai. Make sure to put empahsssiss on the ssss'ss to be asss annoying ass possssible

AN ASSISSTANT WITH A FUCKING CONTRABAND TOOLBOX! ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED! I can trust no one. The first thing i should do is gather more information. I attempt to capture a greyshit that i can waterboard and interrogate in my secret base

Job:assistent
Location: brig
Action: i try to hack my way trough armoury

Redblaze3000 wrote:Name: redblaze3000
Job: Ligger Nuke op
action: Ask why we are listening to a pai. Make sure to put empahsssiss on the ssss'ss to be asss annoying ass possssible

[1]
You put too much emphasssisss on the sss'sss and get beaten up by one of the other ops.

Wyzack wrote:AN ASSISSTANT WITH A FUCKING CONTRABAND TOOLBOX! ILLUMINATI CONFIRMED! I can trust no one. The first thing i should do is gather more information. I attempt to capture a greyshit that i can waterboard and interrogate in my secret base

[1]
The assistant whacks you with a stunprod and steals your scanner and revolver.

Ezel wrote:Job:assistent
Location: brig
Action: i try to hack my way trough armoury

[4]
You hack your way through the armoury without any delays. Kinda chilly out here... You think you should get back inside before you expire.

These dice... they are cursed...

Holy shit, this can not go unanswered. Grab the soap from the shower area, slip him by tossing it under his feet, and then cuff and drag him to my hideout for retribution of the swirly variety.

Job:assistent
Location: armoury
Action: i go away and walk to the nearest coffee vending machine and get some robust coffee and go back to armoury and loot it

Job: pAI
Action: Pray to admins to have my memory expanded, if they deny that, at least ask them to reset it so I can buy a doorjack (adaaapter caaable, fuck yeah.)

Also, stop using BYOND RNG for rolls.

Wyzack wrote:Holy shit, this can not go unanswered. Grab the soap from the shower area, slip him by tossing it under his feet, and then cuff and drag him to my hideout for retribution of the swirly variety.

[2]
He disarms you, shoots you with your own revolver, and steals your ID card. Nice try

Ezel wrote:Job:assistent
Location: armoury
Action: i go away and walk to the nearest coffee vending machine and get some robust coffee and go back to armoury and loot it

[1]
You look around, unable to see any coffee machines out here. You feel very cold, and find yourself unable to climb back in the hole. You are now in critical condition.
[4]
You can hear a muffled voice.
[3]
The voice gets louder
[2]
You hear footsteps, and you see a light
[6]
You are unceremoniously dragged away. You wake up cuffed to a bed in sec medical

DemonFiren wrote:Job: pAI
Action: Pray to admins to have my memory expanded, if they deny that, at least ask them to reset it so I can buy a doorjack (adaaapter caaable, fuck yeah.)

Also, stop using BYOND RNG for rolls.

[3]
You are granted additional memory by the machine god.

Job: pAI
Action: Buy that doorjack and see if it fits into the borg. IT BETTER.

That is it, i am either going to get my shit back or die trying. Get in a robustmatch to the death with him, only one man can leave alive

Job:assistent
Action:i scream at security why they are still here
While there are ops on the station

DemonFiren wrote:Job: pAI
Action: Buy that doorjack and see if it fits into the borg. IT BETTER.

[3]
You manage to plug yourself into the borg.

Wyzack wrote:That is it, i am either going to get my shit back or die trying. Get in a robustmatch to the death with him, only one man can leave alive

[2]
The assistant stunprods you again and beats you into crit
[2]
He keeps beating you
[3]
He runs away and leaves you to die
[3]
Nothing much is happening. You see a light
[2]
You seize up and fall limp, your eyes dead and lifeless
RIP in pepperoni, you're dead m8

Ezel wrote:Job:assistent
Action:i scream at security why they are still here
While there are ops on the station

[1]
*BWOINK*
HOW DID YOU KNOW IT WAS NUKE YOU METAGAMER

Job:assistant
Action: i didnt i just wanted to get security away so i can mind my own bussiness

Ezel wrote:Job:assistant
Action: i didnt i just wanted to get security away so i can mind my own bussiness

[5]
The powers that be accept your explanation

Job:Greytide
Action: i setup a secondary laptop and make it ready to DDOS the server
As soon i get made

Job:greytide
Secondary action: i suggest security to stop with their job and crappy paychecks and suggest
Them going on a criminal path

Ezel wrote:Job:Greytide
Action: i setup a secondary laptop and make it ready to DDOS the server
As soon i get made

[1]
PERMABANNED FOR PACKETS good job

Ezel wrote:Job:greytide
Secondary action: i suggest security to stop with their job and crappy paychecks and suggest
Them going on a criminal path

[3]
You're banned son.

Job:BANNED
Action:i try to change my ip and use another byond account

Ezel wrote:Job:BANNED
Action:i try to change my ip and use another byond account

[2]
You're caught almost immediately and banned again

Job: Op
action: eat all the pizza and drink all the whiskey in revenge for my beating.

Redblaze3000 wrote:Job: Op
action: eat all the pizza and drink all the whiskey in revenge for my beating.

[6]
You eat way, way too much. You feel like you could explode at any time.

Job: pAI
Action: Get the other ops moving, because HOLY FUCK WE GOTTA GET DAT FUKKEN DISK.

Job:BANNED
I try to hack one of the nuke ops account to get back into the game

DemonFiren wrote:Job: pAI
Action: Get the other ops moving, because HOLY FUCK WE GOTTA GET DAT FUKKEN DISK.

[1]
The other ops are glues to the floor, they can't get moving any time soon

Ezel wrote:Job:BANNED
I try to hack one of the nuke ops account to get back into the game

[6]
You take control of one of the brain dead ops. The force of your takeover unsticks you from the floor

At this rate I am beginning to suspect you really are using the BYOND RNG.

Have you rolled a single 3,4 or 5 the entire time?

Job:Nuke ops
Action: i look around where iam and whats in my backpack and belt

Job: Op
action: Unstick myself from the floor.

Jack Rustle
Centcomm Inspector

An automated announcement is relayed through the speakers. Then an aux pod docks to the station. The first thing i hear upon entering the station is beepsky cussing at an assistant as he arrests him. I put my E-gun on my belt and make my way to the bridge to find the captain.

Ezel wrote:Job:Nuke ops
Action: i look around where iam and whats in my backpack and belt

[4]
You are on your shuttle, you have your starting gear.

Redblaze3000 wrote:Job: Op
action: Unstick myself from the floor.

[4]
You unstick yourself from the floor.

Hellafied wrote:Jack Rustle
Centcomm Inspector

An automated announcement is relayed through the speakers. Then an aux pod docks to the station. The first thing i hear upon entering the station is beepsky cussing at an assistant as he arrests him. I put my E-gun on my belt and make my way to the bridge to find the captain.

[1]
You glance down at your ID, and briefly notice that the words CentComm Inspector are written in permanent marker over the word Assistant. Before you can run away, beepsky stuns and cuffs you.