/tg/Station 13

Bottom post of the previous page:

Check the Suit Sensors for dead bodies (roll for people with suit sensors)
Yell for people to retrieve said bodies

Attempt to finish soaping down medbay, then, equip my galoshes on water mop the escape hallway so it's nice and slippery.

I try to run into random people at full speed.

i guess i lied about the lack of updates.
school happened vOv

looping wrote:Now that my enemy the cyborg has been defeated, I begin to breathe in and out fluently again.
I then rush off to go find a toolbox.

[6]YOU BREATH SO QUICKLY IN AND OUT THAT YOU BEGIN TO HYPERVENTILATE. YOU THEN RUSH OFF DOWN THE CORRIDORS CAUSING YOU TO FEEL EXTREMELY LIGHTHEADED AND BUMP INTO SEVERAL WALLS MAKING LITTLE ACTUAL PROGRESS OR DISTANCE.

Kraso wrote: I EAT MY BANANA AND PEEL IT IN THAT ORDER, THEN THROW THE PEEL IN AN ATTEMPT TO BOOST MYSELF BACK INTO THE STATION

[5] YOU EAT YOUR BANANA, PEEL IT AND THEN THROW THE PEEL. AMAZINGLY DUE TO THE ORDER OF CONSUMPTION THAT ONLY A CLOWN COULD PULL OFF, THE BANANA OBEY'S CLOWN PHYSICS. THE PEELS THROW FORCE PUSHES YOU BACK TOWARDS THE STATION IN A COMICAL FASHION. AN UNSEEN LAUGHTER TRACK KICKS IN BRIEFLY. YOU ARRIVE BACK AT THE STATION.

JStheguy wrote:Turn on internals.
And then very calmly fire in the opposite direction of the airlock with muh ion rifle.
Also make a separate roll to say a one-liner.

[3]YOU TURN ON YOUR INTERNALS. YOU FIRE YOUR ION RIFLE, THE RIFLE JUST ABOUT HAS ENOUGH ENERGY TO STOP YOU MOVING RELATIVE TO THE STATION.
[5]YOU SAY OUTLOUD "Looks like I'm In CHARGE now" A NEARBY OP HEARS THIS OVER THE RADIO AND LAUGHS OVER THE RADIO. SMOOTH.

Ezel wrote:Got my coworker to bring my a jetpack but it wasnt oxygen
and my oxgen is running out i turn my pinpointer on and follow the disk

[2]NOT ONLY WAS THE JETPACK NOT O2 IT WAS INSTEAD FILLED WITH PLASMA, AS YOU TURN ON YOUR PINPOINT IT SPARKS (DUE TO SHODDY SYNDICATE WIRING) IGNITING THE PLASMA, LUCKILY YOU ARE IN SPACE AND YOU ARE WEARING A SPACE SUIT. THE JETPACK ROCKETS AWAY OUT OF YOUR HAND SENDING YOU SPIRALLING. YOUR PINPOINTER ARROW FLAILS ABOUT AS IT TRIES TO KEEP UP WITH THE CONSTANTLY CHANGING LOCATION RELATIVE TO IT.

rosello wrote:Check the Suit Sensors for dead bodies (roll for people with suit sensors)
Yell for people to retrieve said bodies

[1]NO ONE HAS THEIR SUIT SENSORS ON (what did you expect?) INFACT SOME PEOPLE SEEM TO BE TURNING THEM OFF AS YOU LOOK AT THEM. YOU YELL FOR PEOPLE TO RETRIEVE BODIES BUT WHEN PEOPLE ASK FOR THEIR COORDINATES AND YOU HAVE NOTHING TO TELL THEM. YOU "ERRR" OVER THE RADIO LOOKING LIKE A COMPLETE JACKASS AND THEN YELL ABOUT HOW PEOPLE SHOULD TURN ON THEIR SUIT SENSORS. THE WHOLE STATION LAUGHS, EVEN TOM.

Skorvold wrote:Attempt to finish soaping down medbay, then, equip my galoshes on water mop the escape hallway so it's nice and slippery.

[2]YOU HAVE NO SOAP, WE ALREADY WENT THROUGH THIS. YOU'RE ALSO ALREADY WEARING YOUR GALOSHES AND YOU SPEND A FEW MINUTES TRYING TO PUT ON THE BOOTS YOU ALREADY HAVE ON, YOU BRAIN HURTS. YOU CLEAN 2 TILES AND THEN YOUR MOP IS DRY.

LdShade wrote:I try to run into random people at full speed.

[5]YOU RACE DOWN THE ESCAPE CORRIDOR, CRASHING AT FULL RUNNING SPEED (pre-nerf) INTO THE JANITOR. EVEN HIS GALOSHES ARE NO MATCH FOR YOUR BULK AS YOU TOPPLE HIM OVER HIS SLIPPERY FLOORS WITH EASE. YOU FEEL SATISFIED.

Miauw wrote:i guess i lied about the lack of updates.
school happened vOv

[1, genuine roll] YOU FAIL TO UPDATE WHEN YOU PROMISED YOU WOULD. INFACT SOMEONE ELSE TAKES OVER YOUR THREAD COMPLETELY.

two rolls since I missed the last.

Continue heading to cargo hpoing that I make it

Second roll if I didnt make it same again. If I did roll for what job I am actually meant to be (I realise I never defined my job although technically I could be assistant since literally jump in locker was the first thing I did)

Well fuck, toss pinpointer in an attempt to finally get back to the station.

Seeing as i've made little progress out of the escape area, I rush into Botany to devour any grown weed.
If there is no weed, I will make my new job to make it somehow.

TIME TO LOOT EVA AND THEN THE ARMORY.

Chuck norris my way trough the way to the station

Eat the janitors soap.

Scientist, Toxins.
Arrive late, oblivious to Nuke Ops situation. Proceed to my Lair of Hellfire and begin crafting the biggest goddamn bombs the world has ever seen.

Go find the clown, he seems to be in trouble.

Get up off the floor, refill bucket from the medbay sink, shove the mop into the bucket to wet it. Continue my quest for clean by mopping in a random direction.

MAKE POST IN THREAD APOLOGIZING FOR MY INAQUADACY

I'll update when I'm less hungerover (urg).
Also I'll add my role.

Request, over binary channel, for the AI to unbolt me.

Jalleo wrote: Continue heading to cargo hpoing that I make it

Second roll if I didnt make it same again. If I did roll for what job I am actually meant to be (I realise I never defined my job although technically I could be assistant since literally jump in locker was the first thing I did)

[5]YOU FINALLY ARRIVE AT CARGO, THE CARGO TECH IS SO IMPRESSED WITH YOUR PADDED LOCKER DRAGGING SKILLS THEY AGREE TO SWAP IT FOR ANYTHING YOU WANT FROM CARGO, ORDERED OR AUTOLATHED.
[2]YOU ARE THE MIME (1= Assitant, 2=clown or mime, 3= med/sci/sec 4=Head 5=Captain, since clown was already taken you get mime).

JStheguy wrote:Well fuck, toss pinpointer in an attempt to finally get back to the station.

[3] YOU THROW YOUR PINPOINTER, LUCKILY YOU ARE ALREADY STILL RELATIVE TO THE STATION, THE EXTRA MOMENTUM FLINGS YOU BACK TO THE STATION, BUT YOU DID JUST THROW AWAY YOUR PIN POINTER... YOU ARRIVE AT ESCAPE

looping wrote:Seeing as i've made little progress out of the escape area, I rush into Botany to devour any grown weed.
If there is no weed, I will make my new job to make it somehow.

[4]THERE IS A HUGE PILE OF WEED ON THE COUNTER AT BOTANY, YOU SMASH THE WINDOW AND LIKE A HUNGRY CHILD IN A SWEET SHOP YOU SHOVE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN IN YOUR MOUTH. YOU ARE HIGH AS FUCK.

Kraso wrote:TIME TO LOOT EVA AND THEN THE ARMORY.

[3]YOU ENTER ESCAPE AND SLIP (WET FLOOR) YOU TAKE MINOR DAMAGE (ADDED TO YOUR SUFFOCATION DAMAGE) YOU ARE INJURED. YOU GET UP AND WALK TOWARDS EVA, AFTER REQUESTING IT TO BE OPENED BY THE AI YOU TAKE THE EVA SUIT. YOU THEN HEAD TOWARDS THE ARMORY.(That'll be enough for one role, you can role again for the armory).

Ezel wrote:Chuck norris my way trough the way to the station

[6]AS YOU SPIRAL THROUGH SPACE YOU HOLD YOUR RIGHT LEG OUT, FROM THE OUTSIDE IT LOOKS AS IF YOUR DOING AN INCREDIBLE, CONSTANT, ROUNDHOUSE KICK (Chuck Norris would be proud son). YOU MAKE CONTACT WITH THE SPACE STATION HULL, DUE TO YOUR VELOCITY AND SUPERIOR ARMOUR AND CHUCK NORRIS STYLE ROUNDHOUSE YOU TEAR THROUGH THE HULL, BREACHING ESCAPE FURTHER, FLYING DOWN THE CORRIDOR LIKE A COMET AND THE BREACH THROUGH BOTH THE BRIDGE AND THEN OUT THE OTHER SIDE ALL THE WAY TO ARRIVALS WHERE ONCE AGAIN YOU ARE IN SPACE.

LdShade wrote:Eat the janitors soap.

[2]WE'VE BEEN THROUGH THIS, THE JANITOR DOESN'T HAVE ANY SOAP ON THEM.

FreakyM wrote:Scientist, Toxins.
Arrive late, oblivious to Nuke Ops situation. Proceed to my Lair of Hellfire and begin crafting the biggest goddamn bombs the world has ever seen.

[1]YOU ARRIVE AT TOXINS, YOU MOVE THE CANISTERS IN PLACE, BUT FORGET TO WRENCH THE HOSE ON. YOU SET THE PRESSURE TO MAX AND THEN OPEN THE VALVE. PLASMA RAPIDLY FILLS THE WHOLE OF TOXINS. YOU BEGIN TO CHOKE ON THE FOUL "GAS".

rosello wrote:Go find the clown, he seems to be in trouble.

[3]YOU MEET THE CLOWN IN THE NORTH CORRIDOR HEADING TOWARDS THE BRIG. YOU SCAN HIM WITH YOUR MEDISCAN AND BEGIN TO APPLY BRUISE PACKS. YOU ONLY MANAGE TO PARTIALLY HEAL HIM BEFORE HE WORDLESSLY RUNS ON TOWARDS THE BRIG.

Skorvold wrote:Get up off the floor, refill bucket from the medbay sink, shove the mop into the bucket to wet it. Continue my quest for clean by mopping in a random direction.

[5]YOU STAND UP, AND STARE DOWN THE ASSISTANT. YOUR JANITOR SENSE TINGLES WITH PRIDE AS SOMEWHERE A CLOWN SLIPS ON YOUR WET FLOOR. YOU SMILE A CREEPY JANITOR SMILE AS YOU FILL YOUR BUCKET UP AT THE SINK. THE WET MOP GLISTENS IN THE FLORESCENT LIGHT OF THE STATION. WITH NINJA SPEED YOU FINISH THE MEDBAY AND HEAD TOWARDS THE BAR WHICH YOU FINISH IN RECORD TIME. THE BARMAN CALLS YOU OVER AND HANDS YOU A BEER FOR ACTUALLY CLEANING THE BAR FOR ONCE.

peoplearestrange wrote:Request, over binary channel, for the AI to unbolt me.

[4]THE AI HEARS YOUR REQUEST AND INFORMS THE RD. THE RD, STILL NOT TRUSTING COLLECTS YOU PERSONALLY DRAGGING YOU TO ROBOTICS.

Miauw wrote:MAKE POST IN THREAD APOLOGIZING FOR MY INAQUADACY

[6]YOU MAKE A POST, APOLOGISE AND GIVEN THAT YOU STARTED THE THREAD WAIT TO BE ACCEPTED. UNFORTUNATELY YOUR POST BECOMES PART OF THE NARRATIVE. IN FACT THIS TEXT IS DESCRIBING WHAT YOUR POST WAS WHICH THEN IN TURN DESCRIBES IT SELF, WHICH THEN DESCRIBES ITSELF, WHICH THEN DESCRIBES ITSELF, WHICH THEN DESCRIBES ITSELF, WHICH THEN DESCRIBES ITSELF, WHICH THEN DESCRIBES ITSELF, WHICH THEN DESCRIBES ITSELF... .. .... ...

LOOT THE ARMORY AND SEARCH FOR THE SYNDIE SHUTTLE

Attempt to meet up with Vektor, shooting scrubs as I go.

peoplearestrange wrote:

Ezel wrote:Chuck norris my way trough the way to the station

[6]AS YOU SPIRAL THROUGH SPACE YOU HOLD YOUR RIGHT LEG OUT, FROM THE OUTSIDE IT LOOKS AS IF YOUR DOING AN INCREDIBLE, CONSTANT, ROUNDHOUSE KICK (Chuck Norris would be proud son). YOU MAKE CONTACT WITH THE SPACE STATION HULL, DUE TO YOUR VELOCITY AND SUPERIOR ARMOUR AND CHUCK NORRIS STYLE ROUNDHOUSE YOU TEAR THROUGH THE HULL, BREACHING ESCAPE FURTHER, FLYING DOWN THE CORRIDOR LIKE A COMET AND THE BREACH THROUGH BOTH THE BRIDGE AND THEN OUT THE OTHER SIDE ALL THE WAY TO ARRIVALS WHERE ONCE AGAIN YOU ARE IN SPACE.

I.. I...

Cipher3 wrote:

peoplearestrange wrote:

Ezel wrote:Chuck norris my way trough the way to the station

[6]AS YOU SPIRAL THROUGH SPACE YOU HOLD YOUR RIGHT LEG OUT, FROM THE OUTSIDE IT LOOKS AS IF YOUR DOING AN INCREDIBLE, CONSTANT, ROUNDHOUSE KICK (Chuck Norris would be proud son). YOU MAKE CONTACT WITH THE SPACE STATION HULL, DUE TO YOUR VELOCITY AND SUPERIOR ARMOUR AND CHUCK NORRIS STYLE ROUNDHOUSE YOU TEAR THROUGH THE HULL, BREACHING ESCAPE FURTHER, FLYING DOWN THE CORRIDOR LIKE A COMET AND THE BREACH THROUGH BOTH THE BRIDGE AND THEN OUT THE OTHER SIDE ALL THE WAY TO ARRIVALS WHERE ONCE AGAIN YOU ARE IN SPACE.

I.. I...

[-6]YOUR MIND BURSTS INTO FLAMES AT THE SIGHT OF THE EVENTS UNFOLDING IN THIS GAME, GG NO RE.

JStheguy wrote:

Cipher3 wrote:

peoplearestrange wrote:

Ezel wrote:Chuck norris my way trough the way to the station

[6]AS YOU SPIRAL THROUGH SPACE YOU HOLD YOUR RIGHT LEG OUT, FROM THE OUTSIDE IT LOOKS AS IF YOUR DOING AN INCREDIBLE, CONSTANT, ROUNDHOUSE KICK (Chuck Norris would be proud son). YOU MAKE CONTACT WITH THE SPACE STATION HULL, DUE TO YOUR VELOCITY AND SUPERIOR ARMOUR AND CHUCK NORRIS STYLE ROUNDHOUSE YOU TEAR THROUGH THE HULL, BREACHING ESCAPE FURTHER, FLYING DOWN THE CORRIDOR LIKE A COMET AND THE BREACH THROUGH BOTH THE BRIDGE AND THEN OUT THE OTHER SIDE ALL THE WAY TO ARRIVALS WHERE ONCE AGAIN YOU ARE IN SPACE.

I.. I...

[-6]YOUR MIND BURSTS INTO FLAMES AT THE SIGHT OF THE EVENTS UNFOLDING IN THIS GAME, GG NO RE.

Well 6 is an over shoot, and this is a pretty literal over shoot. Haha.

peoplearestrange wrote:[4]THERE IS A HUGE PILE OF WEED ON THE COUNTER AT BOTANY, YOU SMASH THE WINDOW AND LIKE A HUNGRY CHILD IN A SWEET SHOP YOU SHOVE AS MUCH AS YOU CAN IN YOUR MOUTH. YOU ARE HIGH AS FUCK.

Aight, now that i'm high as fuck i'm gunna take down those syndicates with the power of love, I rush to hug the nearest thing in red to death.

Shrug, grab internals from my backpack and carry on with bombmaking. Only this time I won't light my customary cigarette while doing so.

Make the janitor eat his soap.

Hoping that the teleporter at derelict is on and set telecomms

EAT THE JANITOR'S SOAP

Try to communicate non-verbally with cargo to trade my lavish closet for something interesting that they have.

Yell obscenities at the clown while trying to heal him with my hypospray.

Kraso wrote:LOOT THE ARMORY AND SEARCH FOR THE SYNDIE SHUTTLE

[5] YOU APPROACH THE BRIG AND THE WARDEN STORMS PAST YOU, WITHOUT HESITATION YOU RUN INTO THE BRIG THEN THE WARDENS OFFICE BEFORE THE DOORS CAN CLOSE, YOU ASK THE AI TO OPEN THE ARMORY DOORS. IT MUST BE DISTRACTED AS THE WINDOOR SLIDES OPEN. YOU FILL YOUR BACK-PACK WITH 1 LASER RIFLE, 1 E-GUN, 1 TASER AND EQUIP A RIOT SHOTGUN. ITS TIME TO BE THE CLOWN THE STATION NEEDS BUT REALLY DOESN'T WANT.

JStheguy wrote:Attempt to meet up with Vektor, shooting scrubs as I go.

[1] THE REMAINING FLOOR IN ESCAPE GLISTENS IN THE LIGHT, YOU COMPLETELY FAIL TO NOTICE THAT THE WHOLE FLOOR IS WET AND SLIPPERY AS HELL. YOU TAKE ONE STEP AND IMMEDIATELY SLIP ALONG THE FLOOR, LANDING SMACK ON YOUR BACK YOUR GUN FIRES AS YOU LAND AND FLIES OUT YOUR HAND. A RANDOM ASSISTANT LOOKS AT YOU AND THEN POINTS AT THE WETFLOOR SIGN THAT THE JANITOR HAS LEFT. HUMILIATION.

looping wrote:Aight, now that i'm high as fuck i'm gunna take down those syndicates with the power of love, I rush to hug the nearest thing in red to death.

[1]YOU RUSH A TOMATO PLANT AND SQUEEZE IT TIGHT, A TOMATO BURSTS OVER YOU COVERING YOU IN ITS STICKY INNARDS. A NEARBY KILLER TOMATO GROWLS...

FreakyM wrote:Shrug, grab internals from my backpack and carry on with bombmaking. Only this time I won't light my customary cigarette while doing so.

[5] YOU EQUIP YOUR INTERNALS AND SWITCH THEM ON. DESPITE THE PLASMA LEAK CREATING AN INCREDIBLE HAZARD YOU MAKE A PERFECT TRANSFER BOMB. YOU HAVE FEELING THAT IT PUSHES THE BOMB CAP TO THE LIMITS. YOU EVEN HAVE TIME TO DRAW A LITTLE DECAL ON THE SITE OF A SYDICATE MEMBER BEING VAPORISED BY AN EXPLOSION. YOU FEEL PROUD.

LdShade wrote:Make the janitor eat his soap.

[1] WHAT SOAP!?!? SERIOUSLY THERE IS NO SOAP, FUCK KNOWS WHERE IT IS, BUT YOU OR THE JANITOR DO NOT HAVE IT. YOU MOVE YOUR EMPTY CUFFED HANDS CLOSE TO THE JANITORS MOUTH, THE JANITOR GLARES AT YOU. BEING THE JANITOR HIS GAZE PIERCES YOUR VERY SOUL. YOU FEEL COLD AND EMPTY.

Ezel wrote:Hoping that the teleporter at derelict is on and set telecomms

[4]YOU TUNE YOUR PERSONAL TELEPORTER INTO THE DERELICTS TELEPORTER. LUCKILY IT IS SET FOR THE MAIN STATION, THERE ISN'T A BEACON IN TELECOMMS. YOU TELEPORT TO THE TELEPORTER BELOW THE CAPTAINS ROOM. THE ROOM IS EMPTY SAVE FOR THE EQUIPMENT AND THE AI HASN'T NOTICED YOU.

Miauw wrote:EAT THE JANITOR'S SOAP

[5] YOU MAKE A PR TO REMOVE THE SOAP FROM THE JANITORS CUPABOARD, THE PR IS ACCEPTED BY MISTAKE AND REMOVED. SO THAT'S WHERE THE SOAP WENT!

Jalleo wrote:Try to communicate non-verbally with cargo to trade my lavish closet for something interesting that they have.

[1] YOU MIME A LONG AND COMPLICATED ROUTINE, IT LOOKS PRETTY AMAZING AS FAR AS MIMES GO. UNFORTUNATELY THE CARGONIAN HATES MIME AS AN ART FORM. HIS FACE TWISTS INTO A CONFUSED SCRUNCH. "Stop! Stop! I have no fucking idea what your doing! I just want the locker!"HE YELLS IN FRUSTRATION. YOU CONTINUE TO MIME. THE CARGO TECH RUMMAGES FOR SOMETHING UNDER HIS DESK, LOOKING DESPERATE TO END THIS HORRIBLE DISPLAY. HE OPENS THE WINDOOR AND RELEASES A FIRE-EXTINGUISHERS LOAD ALL OVER YOU ENGULFING YOU IN COLD WHITE CO2. "FUCKING STOP ALREADY!" THEY YELL.

rosello wrote:Yell obscenities at the clown while trying to heal him with my hypospray.

[2] YOU FOLLOW THE CLOWN TO THE BRIG BUT THE AIRLOCK CLOSES IN FRONT OF YOU AS THE CLOWN SLIPS IN UNNOTICED. THE BEST INSULT YOU CAN THINK OF IS TO CALL THEM A CLOWN, WHICH THEY ARE, ITS NOT REALLY THAT INSULTING. YOU ARE LEFT BANGING ON THE AIRTIGHT/SOUND PROOF AIRLOCK. YOU GIVE UP, SIGH, POCKET YOUR HYPOSPRAY AND START TO WALK AWAY.


I'm gona call my borg out of commission as I seem to be DMing this now.

I'm going to hug the innards out of that other tomato, mano el mango.

Get crayons from art storage, draw numerous runes in a circle around myself and attempt to will myself a soap into existence using ancient janitorial magic.

Kill that motherfucking assistant to death.

I go to the cargo request console and request the most helariousand expensive possible piece of equipment that every mime needs then move the closet to cargo bay entrance for the cargo tech to take

I break into the captains bedroom with my c4 and start looking for his lazer gun if not
i break in his bathroom and change his nano soap with syndie soap

all in all, for the namesake:

GET DAT FUKKEN DISK

Stumble across the mime, attempt to hypospray them as they seem to be freezing.

Make a PR request to re-implement the soap.

rip in peace

Join as Sec. Hear racket over coms about syndicate ops. proceed to brig to pester the warden for guns.

*unzips penis*

*waves stunbaton* zip those pants scum

looping wrote:I'm going to hug the innards out of that other tomato, mano el mango.

[1]YOU RUN TOWARDS THE OTHER TOMATO, SLIPPING ON THE REMNANTS OF THE PREVIOUS TOM-DEATH. THE KILLER TOMATO JUMPS YOU AND BEGINS TO BITE YOUR LEGS. YOU TAKE BRUTE DAMAGE BRINGING YOU DOWN TO 50% HEALTH.

Skorvold wrote:Get crayons from art storage, draw numerous runes in a circle around myself and attempt to will myself a soap into existence using ancient janitorial magic.

[3]YOU DRAW SOME PRETTY LOOKING RUNES AROUND YOU AND BEGIN TO PRAY TO THE JANI-GOD. THOUGH THE ADMINS ARE DISTRACTED WITH AHELPS, SO WILL PROBABLY GET ROUND TO ANSWERING YOUR PRAYER NEXT TURN.

JStheguy wrote:Kill that motherfucking assistant to death.

[4]YOU CAREFULLY STAND UP AND CALL TO THE ASSISTANT "Catch". YOU THROW A BLOCK OF C4 AND THE ASSISTANT DUMBLY OBLIGES AND CATCHES THE C4. HE EXPLODES REAL GOOD. BITS FLY EVERYWHERE. YOU SMILE.

Jalleo wrote:I go to the cargo request console and request the most hilarious and expensive possible piece of equipment that every mime needs then move the closet to cargo bay entrance for the cargo tech to take

[5]YOU REQUEST THE COLLECTABLE HAT BOX. THE CARGO TECH APPROVES THE ORDER WITHOUT LOOKING UNTIL THEY NOTICE ALL THEIR SUPPLY POINTS HAVE GONE. "You Mother fucker..." THE CARGO TECH SWEARS AT YOU WHILST YOU STUFF YOURSELF INTO THE CLOSET. THE CARGO TECH LOOKS INCREDIBLY ANGRY.

Ezel wrote:I break into the captains bedroom with my c4 and start looking for his lazer gun if not
i break in his bathroom and change his nano soap with syndie soap

[5] YOU SET THE C4 ON THE MAINTENANCE HATCH AND STAND BACK. THE EXPLOSION KNOCKS THE CAPTAIN OUT AND THROWS HIM TO THE OTHER SIDE OF THE ROOM, SMASHING THROUGH THE LASERS DISPLAY CASE. YOU TAKE THE LASER AND TAKE THE SOAP NANO SOAP. AS YOU LEAVE THE ROOM YOU SAY TO THE CAPTAIN "Here, this place is a mess" AND YOU THROW A BAR OF SYNDI SOAP AT HIM.

Kraso wrote:all in all, for the namesake:
GET DAT FUKKEN DISK

[1]YOU RUN TO ESCAPE TO MEET UP WITH Vekter WHO HAS DAT FUKKEN DISK. YOU ASK TO SEE IT AND WHEN HE GOES TO SHOW YOU IT YOU TRY TO GRAB IT. UNFORTUNATLY THEY'RE JUST AS STRONG AND YOU WRESTLE OVER THE DISK. Vekter KICKS YOU IN THE CROTCH AND YOU RELEASE YOUR GRIP ON THE DISK AND DOUBLE OVER IN PAIN.HONKING.

rosello wrote:Stumble across the mime, attempt to hypospray them as they seem to be freezing.

[1]THE MIME IS ALREADY IN THE CLOSET BY THE TIME YOU REACH TO HYPOSPRAY THEM. YOU PUSH THE HYPROSPRAY AGAINST THE CUBOARD ANYWAY AND THE METAL SURFACE REJECTS THE MEDICATION LIKE A CLOWN ASKING THE HOP FOR ALL ACCESS.

LdShade wrote:Make a PR request to re-implement the soap.

[4]YOU MAKE A PR REQUEST FOR THE SOAP. ITS PRETTY MUCH INSTANTLY MERGED WITH MANY COMMENTS SUCH AS "Why the fuck was it removed anyway?" EXCEPT FOR PAPRIKA WHO SHOUTS AT EVERYONE CALLING THEM A SOAP SUPREMACIST.

jmorg65 wrote:Join as Sec. Hear racket over coms about syndicate ops. proceed to brig to pester the warden for guns.

[6]AS YOU MARCH FROM ARRIVALS TOWARDS THE BRIG YOU PASS SEVERAL SCENES THAT YOU PROBABLY SHOULD HAVE STOPPED AND HELPED. YOUR SO FIXATED ON GETTING TO THE BRIG YOU MISS THE FACT THAT THE WARDEN IS RUNNING OUT OF THE BRIG AND PAST YOU. YOU WAIT AND THE EMPTY ARMORY. LUCKILY A TASER AND SOME FLASHBANGS HAVE BEEN LEFT BEHIND.

Kavaloosh wrote:*unzips penis*

[3]YOU UNZIP YOUR PENIS TO REVEAL A BANANA. MOST ON LOOKERS ARE AS CONFUSED AS YOU ARE.

specyalic wrote:*waves stunbaton* zip those pants scum

[5]YOUR DEEP SECURITY VOICE IS TO ASSERTIVE FOR KAVALOOSH TO RESIST. HE INSTANTLY GRABS HIS ZIPPER AND ZIPS UP HIS PANTS, CATCHING HIS BANANA IN THE PROCESS. HE WINCES FOR SOME REASON.

EDIT: Ok so I didn't go home last night. Will probably get round to it today once work becomes dull.
EDIT2: OK FINALLY got round to doing this. Sorry bout the wait. Also reworked a few.

Continue my epic quest to the place where Vekter be at.

SWOON VEKTER WITH MY CHARISMATIC CLOWN PRANKS (that means slip him and get the disk by the way) (if overshot use the janitor soap pls)

GET DAT DISK
[4]
Have the entire nuke ops go in melee while admins play Rules of Nature.ogg, Esword a Secborg and baton wielding dead shirts to death. Ravish in 360 no scope head shot with dual swords.

PROTECT DAT DISK
[6]
Leave a hand written, stamped, and signed "please do not touch" next to the disk in the office. 2 out of 3 times it actually works. It seems to always work.

How do you fair with my flawless stratagem?

look around the captains room and see his arcade machine with the newest game defeat drugslord and play it (attack attack heal heal recharge attack)

peoplearestrange wrote:

looping wrote:I'm going to hug the innards out of that other tomato, mano el mango.

[1]YOU RUN TOWARDS THE OTHER TOMATO, SLIPPING ON THE REMNANTS OF THE PREVIOUS TOM-DEATH. THE KILLER TOMATO JUMPS YOU AND BEGINS TO BITE YOUR LEGS. YOU TAKE BRUTE DAMAGE BRINGING YOU DOWN TO 50% HEALTH.

Time to attempt to destroy and consume the tomato.

Ok I ACTUALLY finished the post was making last time (https://tgstation13.org/phpBB/viewtopic ... 193#p43193)

Please read it and change your answers if you wish. Especially if you are:

• Kraso who's role I totally fucked up (thought they were a syndi for some reason).
• Ezel who I miss read your dice roll as a 6 (overshoot) instead of the actual perfect 5.

(Crew, corrupt warden)
I take all the lasers from armory and break into hops office to take his armored jacket.

Buy a emag from my bounced radio and emag beepsky