On the Origins of Plasma and Xenomorphs

[Bombadil]

*click* Beginning Report

After great study of the Xenomorph creatures and the subsequent release of a xeno horde upon space station 13-2500x It has come to my attention the link between Xenomorphs and plasma. The weeds the Xenomorph lay and grow seem to extract materials from the environment and convert them into plasma. How this organic process is done at the time is unknown. But it appears that not only does the star that the station orbits around create Plasma but so too do these creatures. This may explain why we keep finding their spawn on the asteroid as well as large stores of plasma. I recommend we extract samples of these weeds to GROW our own plasma on planets. It is unknown if it can even grow naturally without the xenomorph creating them.

I have noted that the Plasma accelerates the Xenomorphs growth significantly it appears they can convert the plasma into usable bio mass through some form of biological processes. Of course being composed of Plasma the creatures are easily killed via HOLY CLEANSING FIRE THAT SEARS THE MEAT FROM THE BONE.

End of Report
*click*

[Comrade Leo]

star orbiting the station

Other way around son.

[DemonFiren]

Star orbiting the singularity engine?

[Remie Richards]

Black holes still only have a finite mass. so you'd need to know the mass of both the star and the singularity (singularities have infinite density not infinite mass)

[Comrade Leo]

No, its just that the star was probably there before the station. Plus the singularity isn't a full blown one as it needs a constant stream of mass to keep stable. mass and g of both the station and the singulo would be insignificant next to the Mass and G of the host star. The larger mass object is usually the focus (or cause of focus) of the orbit.

[Kraso]

star orbiting the station

Other way around son.

you mean the sun doesn't revolve around the sun? to the cross with you

[Bombadil]

>No one talks about the post because grammatical error

[Cipher3]

>No one talks about the post because grammatical error

Phrasing error*

You mean the phrasing error doesn't revolve around the phrasing error? To the gallows with you.

[Gun Hog]

Code: Select all

M.A.G.N.I._SYSOP: Initialize M.A.G.N.I. program...#
M.A.G.N.I._SYSOP: Begin NT-net uplink.....successful.#
M.A.G.N.I._SYSOP: Load report [03.23.2555.1021-Xenology-Observation-Log.rtf]#
M.A.G.N.I._SYSOP: Transferring operations control to program...#
M.A.G.N.I.: Thank you for choosing M.A.G.N.I. as your research and analysis artificial intelligence.

-----BEGIN REPORT-----

This unit agrees with the link between the substance known as "Plasma" and the hostile "Xenomorph" lifeforms found on the asteroid outpost and neighboring gas giant. There is additional data that suggests additional possible sources of the "Plasma" compound from an entirely different species of lifeform, designated as "Slime". Surveillance logs (ID#s: 8008135, 628318, and 1337420) indicate that these entities possess a wide variety of mutations and attributes, having varied and significant reactions to "Plasma", one of which appears to be the synthesis of the substance in large quantities. No other notable connections between the "Slime" and "Xenomorph" lifeforms have been revealed at this time, than their proximity.

-----END REPORT-----

[Not-Dorsidarf]

Code: Select all

The_AI_Sysop: Initialise telecomms
The_AI_sysop: Uploading ridiculous script for tenth round in row
The_AI_sysop: Shockbolting telecomms and walling off the door
The_AI-sysop: Stealthbolting important doors
The_AI_sysop: Thank you for copy-pasting MAGNI into a .txt file and using it every round.

BEGIN REPORT:

Blah Blah Blah

Blah Blah Blah Blah Blah

Plasma's an exotic hydrocarbon and slimes eat that shit like jujubees

blah blah

aliens get high from it blah blah

blah blah aliens heal when they're high blah blah

END REPORT

*Above report is a SIMULATION and therefore should not be taken seriously by people who love MAGNIcomms so much they'd have robot phone sex with the server if ERP wasn't banned. Or GUN_HUG who made the damn thing in the first place despite being a cool guy, I guess.

[DemonFiren]

I read that as "erotic".

I must polish my laser gun now.