/tg/Station 13

Its a normal day, youve pulled yourself off your faux-leather couch and driven yourself to the local gas station in your 2003 Volkswagen Beetle. You escape the damp confines of your car seat, the door releasing with a slight hisss.
You put on your shades, as your gamer cove does not have natural light, and this is a truly terrible amount of UV rays for a person of your type. As you clamour for the shopping carts, thrusting your hands into the deep pockets of your pants for any spare change to unshackle the shopping cart you so desire, a large noise echoes out from behind you.
BANG!
A terrible feeling washes over you and your mouth feels gummed up.
Looking behind you, you see me standing there, gun in my hand. Smoke is rising from the freshly hot barrel. I am wearing a bright yellow shirt with the words "YOWZA!" written along it in Goudy Stout font.
I have shot you in your right leg.
What do you do?

I frow up.

Switch to left leg.

Somebody threw up I think they might be sick, somebody should call an ambulance! I'd do it but all I have is my rotary phone and I don't see any place to plug in a phone line nearby. Oh by the way,
*points at your "YOWZA!" shirt*
nice shirt! Where'd you get it?

*medic

I crawl into the shop while screaming, then pull out my handgun and shoot myself in the head in front of multiple security guards, customers, and cashiers.

Ask why the hell you shot me like a civilized human being.

*dodges*

I pull out my concealed carry .50 BMG M2HB heavy machine gun (legal in most states) and unload an entire 200 round belt through your chest, head, and various appendages, turning you into paste