[Ivanissaccs] Deepwoods - I screwed up again.

[Deepwoods]

BYOND account: Deepwoods
Character name: William Moore
Ban type: IC-in-OOC
Ban length: 2 days
Ban reason: "OOC: Deepwoods: Go Nukies go. Don't let anyone survive." You really need to get your head around IC in OOC. These bans will only get longer.
Addendum: This was as part of a conversation. Not just me cheering for the Nukies as a single thing. That wasn't the intent. It was part of me arguing that the antag rules were stupid relating to an incident (which was not disclosed in chat) unrelated to the Nuclear Operatives, which I admittedly shouldn't have been doing in OOC either.
Time ban was placed: 2019-10-08 15:30:13
Server you were playing on when banned: Terry
Round ID in which ban was placed: 120978
Your side of the story: I was frustrated because I was out mining to help support everyone during Nuke Ops and I was bringing back my first load of ore. The shuttle landed, and the other miner unloaded on me with a shotgun point blank, stole my shit, and spaced my corpse. And they get the "they were an antag so they can do whatever the fuck they want" pass despite fucking everyone over. I had no fucking chance because I was off doing my job and Sec was handing out guns like candy, and I thought wrongly that everyone was on the same side. I didn't realize that traitors would basically seek to ensure their nuclear annihilation and their failure in the round by sheer sabotage, and I wasn't given any confirmation by admin when I inquired that I was a specific target. So nobody's getting any more resources during Nuke Ops and so I basically threw my hands up and made a declaration of how fucked everything was because of the rule granting antags the freedom to do whatever stupid shit they want. I realized immediately after I had written that that I had just done the IC-in-OOC shit again and then walked away to try and calm down, and the ban clearly reflects that I went too far.
Why you think you should be unbanned: I don't know if I should be unbanned. This is less an appeal and more an apology. I love the game, and that's what makes this hard for me. Because every round I've been determined to learn something new to be able to play better and give other people a better experience, but that's not enough. I need to follow the rules and make sure that I don't fly off and break them when I get splattered. So I'm sorry for the inconvenience.

[Ivan Issaccs]

I've been thinking about this.
I wont be lifting the ban because you know full well what the ramifications of this repeat behavior are. You have had talks with both myself and other admins regarding it.

I really want to advise you work on your anger issues though because there clear is a pattern that something goes wrong against you in game and your response is getting angry, from my experience taking it out on admins handling your ticket, then ICK OCKing and then apologizing when you have calmed down.

When you come back I'm going to advise you again, when the round dicks you over, walk away from the computer and do something else because your the only person I'm aware of having these problems with this level of regularity.

Needless to say, further infractions of this nature are going to be met with harsher bans and you might consider requesting an OOC channel ban to prevent just this from occurring if you suspect you still wont be able to stop doing this.

[Deepwoods]

The anger isn't anger at dying. It's more the frustration in the moment of trying to figure out how to process what I did wrong and how to not have a repeat. And the thing that keeps hitting me in the face is that the game is one geared towards Battle Royale and that I just need to be ready to kill anyone at any time. And I don't necessarily enjoy that. Antagonists seem to very rarely ever socially engineer or use tact to get their way. They just unload on the first person they encounter and steal their shit and continue this through the round given the opportunity, and so the only counter to that seems to be to act on suspicion as a non-antagonist and to just murder anyone who gets near you with or without provocation. Because if they get that one hit in, they win. You're down, they keep hitting you, you're dead. You strike first or you don't strike at all, and that's how the game is played. And that's what drives me nuts.

At it's core this issue is me trying to figure this situation out. I want to follow the rules. The rules say I shouldn't be a murdering dickbag unless I am an antag. But antags can be murdering dickbags freely, and so the only response to that is to be an equally murderous dickbag. Because otherwise you just get shot and die. And so the part of me that wants to follow the rules is clashing heavily with the reasonable and logical part of me processing the information. The core of the frustration is me arguing against the empirical evidence despite having no capacity or ground to. The reality is that, if I want to survive in the game, rules have to take a back seat and I just have to think of everyone as a threat to be eliminated at a moment's notice or a judgement call. I hate this.

What do I do?

[Timonk]

Well first of all you don't take frustration out on OOC. Dying is part of the game.


You learn over time to avoid situations like these. Remember, retreat is almost always an option. People acting shady doesn't mean valid right away. don't take dying too seriously. It's just a game.


The only people playing like raging dick bags as antag are usually the people playing like raging dickbags in general. your antag, your choice.

Edit: Edited the peanut part, when collaborating on an appeal please avoid giving your opinion.

[Deepwoods]

Well first of all you don't take frustration out on OOC. I admit I was close to typing out a hate letter multiple times but I could stop myself from pressing o. Dying is part of the game.

You learn over time to avoid situations like these. Remember, retreat is almost always an option. People acting shady doesn't mean valid right away. don't take dying too seriously. It's just a game.

The only people playing like raging dick bags as antag are usually the people playing like raging dickbags in general. your antag, your choice.

I have been getting better with the OOC thing. Over the last few days I've been better at talking myself down from it or just venting in Dead chat, which I need to admittedly ease off of as well. This was, as mentioned, me saying something and then realizing I had fucked up in that regard. If I was out to deliberately and directly do it, I'd have named the guy who killed me in OOC chat. I didn't do that as, despite being pissed at dying within the first 5 minutes of a Nuke Ops round via some random antag out for quick gear, I was trying not to be an asshole. And regarding gameplay, the broader issue comes in general play. Yes, death is part of the game. But death isn't what sets me off. Being rendered powerless in a situation and confronted with the feeling of being punished for following the rules sets me off. So the likely outcome of all this is me profiling behavior to try and suss out the antags and then eliminating them, which I'll likely end up banned for in the future should things play out that way.

I was criticizing some people early on for cutting my limbs off when they caught me doing shady shit, but now I totally understand.