[CoconutMage] Stickymayhem - Publicly Shaming someone with their own Behaviour is Dog-Piling

Appeals which have been closed.
Locked
User avatar
Stickymayhem
Joined: Mon Apr 28, 2014 6:13 pm
Byond Username: Stickymayhem

[CoconutMage] Stickymayhem - Publicly Shaming someone with their own Behaviour is Dog-Piling

Post by Stickymayhem » #641288

BYOND account: stickymayhem/ Sticky#7339
Character name: Stickymayhem (Gulag Libs Arc)
Ban type: Discord Warning
Ban reason: Was involved in a back and forth argument with another person, eventually began posting a screenshotted image of what the other person said as a response to their posts. This became an issue once said person stated they were uncomfortable with it and asked them to stop. Continued posting the screenshot repeatedly which led to a dogpile effect. Asked to stop this behavior for the future.
Time ban was placed: 5:47pm 18th May
Server you were playing on when banned: Discord

Your side of the story: After a back and forth DM argument with Tearling he repeatedly blocked and unblocked me so he could send me one-sided epic owns and I couldn't respond. I thought this was extremely funny behaviour and shared a screenshot of the extremely stable and normal actions of this fine individually. We all agreed it was quite funny that he used blocks like this and had a good time, until he requested that I remove our screenshotted DMs. I did so, respecting his request for privacy out of good will. That's the background context, any further information on our argument would have to be provided by Tearling, who originally raised the complaint that led to my warning. I give blanket permission for all my conversations with Tearling private or public, as well as with Coconut, to be made public by anyone. I have nothing to hide or be ashamed of.

Later on, Tearling brought up the issue again repeatedly in a public channel, asserting that he was victorious and had destroyed me in the marketplace of ideas repeatedly. I thought this was very funny and responded in bad faith to elicit more messages from Tearling. He eventually produced this banger:

Image

Genuinely a universally useful and hilarious response image, that we promptly over-used on eachother in politics containment and I used to respond to him everytime he replied to me. He repeatedly claimed he blocked me but continued to attack me while my only response was the screenshot, prompting me to take his later complaint that "I was making him uncomfortable" as disingenious. He repeatedly was the aggressor up until the moment that I found an avenue to mock him that he found too upsetting and then begged for us to stop. At this point I'd seen enough of this behaviour both in private and in public that I didn't think his comfort level was something to consider in this context, so I continued to post the screenshot until he alerted the authorities and coconut told me to stop, applying this warning note.

Why you think you should be unbanned:

I think this is the definition of crybullying. Tearling was extremely abrasive and aggressive, asserted repeatedly that he epicly owned me in a debate and continued to pick fights with me while he had supposedly blocked me. I love arguments, so I happily engaged as much as they wanted, until suddenly they found themselves on the losing end of a slapfight and called the cops because he ran out of cards to play. I think this is cunty behaviour and publicly shaming someone, even as a group, for being a little bitch is perfectly valid, not against the rules and not a form of dog piling that the rules intend to prevent or SHOULD intend to prevent. As it stands, coconut has now set the precedent that you can be as absolutely toxic and abrasive as you want, and as soon as someone retaliates in kind, you can immediately escalate to moderation and get a favourable outcome as long as you look sufficiently victim-like. Rule 1 is don't be a dick. I like to think we also abide by the inverse rule of "Start shit get hit" as well. It applies to in-game behaviour and it should apply to this crybully self-victimization as well.

I offered an alternative scenario to coconut where I was extremely aggressively rude to someone, and then that behaviour was screenshotted and used to mock me for being extremely mean and to remind people that I am a mean person. I argued this was valid, coconut argued that I would be protected in this instance if I cried to the mods for help that people were being too mean to me. This is some bitch shit I would deserve to be mocked and I am. If I can make myself immune to criticism just by claiming discomfort every time someone posts one of the three hundred dumb things I've said then this is a bad precedent to set.

I think that he gave up all good faith engagement when he abused blocks to try to spam me with epic owns, then blocked me and constantly tried to engage me through his own block to make points I couldn't respond to. If he was really uncomfortable, he should have actually left me blocked. Instead it's clear he's willing to use protective systems (like discord blocks) and abuse them to their maximum possible extent to get his way when he's being a bitchbaby. Bad precedent to allow that diminishes the real value of these genuinely important and useful tools.
References of good conduct: None whatsoever I am Stickymayhem
Anything else we should know: Public shaming is a valid method of policing behaviour that shouldn't be against the rules but should be discouraged. You wouldn't make adultery illegal but we still publicly shame for it and that's fair.
Image
Image
Boris wrote:Sticky is a jackass who has worms where his brain should be, but he also gets exactly what SS13 should be
Super Aggro Crag wrote: Wed Oct 13, 2021 6:17 pm Dont engage with sticky he's a subhuman
User avatar
Coconutwarrior97
In-Game Game Master
Joined: Fri Oct 06, 2017 3:14 am
Byond Username: Coconutwarrior97

Re: [CoconutMage] Stickymayhem - Publicly Shaming someone with their own Behaviour is Dog-Piling

Post by Coconutwarrior97 » #641346

I'm not concerned with the back and forth arguments you two were having before, once they stated the reposting of the image made them uncomfortable you should have stopped there. I did not read anything in the original conversation which seemed over the line to me, each situation is going to be examined differently.
The hypotheticals you are proposing relate more to a policy discussion in my view than the actual events of this warning. Nothing happened which gave me the impression they were waiting for a chance to run to the mods as soon as they got an excuse.


I see no reason to remove this warning as I feel it is accurate and fair.
User avatar
Tearling
Joined: Thu Mar 11, 2021 4:40 pm
Byond Username: Tearling

Re: [CoconutMage] Stickymayhem - Publicly Shaming someone with their own Behaviour is Dog-Piling

Post by Tearling » #641349

Stickymayhem wrote: Wed May 18, 2022 6:17 pm I think that he gave up all good faith engagement when he abused blocks to try to spam me with epic owns, then blocked me and constantly tried to engage me through his own block to make points I couldn't respond to.
This was assholish of me, and although I have my excuses, I'm sorry for this.
User avatar
Stickymayhem
Joined: Mon Apr 28, 2014 6:13 pm
Byond Username: Stickymayhem

Re: [CoconutMage] Stickymayhem - Publicly Shaming someone with their own Behaviour is Dog-Piling

Post by Stickymayhem » #641357

Ok they've apologised that's plenty I'll eat the warning and this can be locked. Sorry for assuming you were purely acting in bad faith Tearling
Image
Image
Boris wrote:Sticky is a jackass who has worms where his brain should be, but he also gets exactly what SS13 should be
Super Aggro Crag wrote: Wed Oct 13, 2021 6:17 pm Dont engage with sticky he's a subhuman
Locked

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users