Official NFL Thread

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Sat Sep 20, 2014 3:32 pm #29883

Bottom post of the previous page:

they call me tim tebow

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Sat Sep 20, 2014 3:33 pm #29884

i am unemployed

ColonicAcid · Post by **ColonicAcid** » Sat Sep 20, 2014 3:46 pm #29888

so like the majority of college football players.

B)

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Sat Sep 20, 2014 4:00 pm #29892

like most college football players i cannot stop running jokes into the ground

Post by **MrStonedOne** » Mon Sep 22, 2014 6:32 pm #30223

So, ya, umm, that fucking superb owl alpaca bowl rematch game.

Holy shit thats how the super bowl should have gone.

Also: Feb, denver had legal weed shops open, seattle didn't, denver got owned. Sep, seattle AND denver have legal weed shop, it actually looks like a fair game.,

Just saying.

Anywho: GO SEAHAWKS. YA!

Post by **MisterPerson** » Tue Sep 23, 2014 7:48 am #30338

That's a mighty fine Seahawks team you have there. It would be a shame if something were to happen to it.

Mastigos · Post by **Mastigos** » Fri Sep 26, 2014 2:38 pm #31240

Lovecraft wrote:I actually read an article the other day that was pretty eh but it explained to me why baseball's gone downhill.
Houston Astros #1 baby. They'll be good in 10-20 years.

With the huge amount of young talent the Astros have picked up over the past few seasons, they have an absurd farm system right now. All they really need to do is groom up some of that young minor league talent and use their overabundance of decent young players to trade for a few solid veterans to round things out and they'll have a monster team. I give it 3 seasons before they start making waves. Ditto for the Marlins in NL.

Post by **MrStonedOne** » Fri Sep 26, 2014 11:23 pm #31362

This is a nfl thread, nfl = american football, why da fuk we talkin bout baseball up in hur?

Post by **MisterPerson** » Sat Sep 27, 2014 8:02 pm #31603

Whose a better quarterback, Kirk Cousins or RGIII? I know single games aren't a good measure of a QB, but I think the same principle applies to RGIII for his single great season. He's a slightly above average QB who the Skins traded way too much to get. Thus I think while RGIII is a better QB, Cousins is only slightly worse.

Lovecraft · Post by **Lovecraft** » Sun Sep 28, 2014 10:23 pm #31918

Steelers lost against the worst team in the NFL.
I'm done.

Post by **MisterPerson** » Wed Oct 01, 2014 3:39 am #32591

The Raiders aren't going to win a single game this season. Count on it.

Maccus · Post by **Maccus** » Wed Oct 08, 2014 6:21 am #34708

>Tfw Saints

Post by **MisterPerson** » Sat Oct 18, 2014 9:45 am #37042

Percy Harvin was just traded from the Seahawks to the Jets.

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Sat Oct 18, 2014 2:48 pm #37062

condolences harvin

InThePooPoo · Post by **InThePooPoo** » Sat Nov 01, 2014 5:38 am #39903

GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS GO CARDS

Post by **Vekter** » Sat Nov 01, 2014 7:59 am #39916

>Romo hurt

Post by **MisterPerson** » Mon Dec 01, 2014 9:53 am #47293

>entire AFC North loses except the Bengals
>mfw the best quarterback in the AFC North is Andy motherfucking Dalton

WeeYakk · Post by **WeeYakk** » Mon Dec 01, 2014 10:36 am #47299

Can I bandwagon San Diego with you Mr. P? Baltimore is full of degenerates and Flacco stopped trying two seasons ago.

Post by **Vekter** » Mon Dec 01, 2014 10:38 am #47300

Tfw finally get to watch Johnny Football play.

That Aikman arm. Dallas needs him. Gib Manziel, Cleveland. つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

Post by **MisterPerson** » Tue Dec 02, 2014 9:23 am #47558

WeeYakk wrote:

Can I bandwagon San Diego with you Mr. P? Baltimore is full of degenerates and Flacco stopped trying two seasons ago.

Sure, but lower your expectations. Last 4 games are New England, Denver, @San Francisco, @Kansas City. Getting 2 wins out of that would be an unexpected surprise, and I'm still not confident 10-6 will be good enough to wildcard in.

Vekter wrote:Tfw finally get to watch Johnny Football play.

That Aikman arm. Dallas needs him. Gib Manziel, Cleveland. つ ◕_◕ ༽つ

I don't care how good Manziel looks, you'd be crazy to give up on Romo.

1. Rodgers
2. Peyton Manning
3. Brady
4. Brees
SMALL POWER GAP
5. Luck
6. Rivers
7. Romo
POWER GAP
9001. Eli Manning

Post by **MisterPerson** » Fri Dec 19, 2014 6:47 pm #52200

Thursday Night Football: Saturday Edition.

Why not just call it Saturday Night Football, holy shit.

RG4 · Post by **RG4** » Sat Dec 20, 2014 5:41 am #52342

I've come into this thread to tell you Johnny Football is the best QB of all time and only college football is the best football.
SEC,SEC,SEC,SEC,SEC,SEC!

Maccus · Post by **Maccus** » Sat Dec 20, 2014 6:09 am #52348

Violaceus wrote:What is NFL¿

good football

danno · Post by **danno** » Sat Dec 20, 2014 7:41 am #52357

one time i play foodball and black kid run into a tree and die

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Sat Dec 20, 2014 4:29 pm #52402

isnt that how Remember the Titans ended

WeeYakk · Post by **WeeYakk** » Sun Dec 28, 2014 9:17 pm #53988

THANK YOU KANSAS CITY

WE DYNASTY NOW

Post by **MisterPerson** » Sun Dec 28, 2014 9:32 pm #53993

After the freebie from pulling a fast one or two on Kansas City last year, I'm ok with letting them pull a few of their own. Still...

FUCK YOU KANSAS CITY

WE THIRD PLACE IN DIVISION NOW, ENJOY YOUR BETTER OPPONENTS AND WORSE DRAFT PICK

WeeYakk · Post by **WeeYakk** » Sat Jan 03, 2015 8:51 pm #55404

TODAY IS THE DAY

THE START OF JOE FLACCO CARRYING THE RAVENS TO ANOTHER OWL

HALF THE TEAM IS INJURED OR ARRESTED, IS FLACCO ELITE ENOUGH?

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Wed Jan 14, 2015 4:27 am #58908

hey how bout them cowboys OH WAIT

(USER HAS BEEN BANNED FOR THIS POST)

Post by **Vekter** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 4:36 am #64563

Go anyone but the Patriots

Fuck Maine 2015

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Sat Jan 31, 2015 4:57 am #64564

wow stickied

miggles · Post by **miggles** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 3:49 am #64740

why was this stickied fuck off footboys

Munchlax · Post by **Munchlax** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 6:10 pm #64913

eeeeeeeew

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:52 pm #64954

f o o t b a l l

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:53 pm #64955

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 10:54 pm #64956

WeeYakk · Post by **WeeYakk** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 11:34 pm #64965

yfw da burrs win da superb owl

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Sun Feb 01, 2015 11:42 pm #64967

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:11 am #64975

Romo in the shotgun, his arms unfolding like the petals of roses, footballs firing into the counter-geometry of a hyperfield and somehow, past the ghosts of alternate timelines, connecting in deep coverage.

An entire team of 1985's Jim McMahon colonizing the back of Refrigerator Perry. McMahons slithering up from their burrows to Cyclops blast lasers from beneath their sunglasses. Lasers that incinerate Willie Gault. The ashes coalesce in the red zone. Wide receivers are no longer needed. The run game cannot be stopped. It is beyond being stopped. Perry heaves his leviathan body up from the turf. He towers over Soldier Field, dropping McMahons from his body. Offense and defense merging into a single monster that grinds the 1985 Patriots in its molars.

The Green Bay Packers from 1943, when the league allowed dogs to play against women because the men were fighting the Japs. Snarling packs at midfield. Rosie the running back, hair in a rag, shot full of radioactive serums, biceps like dozens of softballs stuffed into pantyhose. She is not a woman anymore. Not even human. She disappears under a snapping defensive line only to toss them aside as her plastic flesh heaves in a river into the end zone.

You made these things happen. Your fantasies created the Jacksonville Jaguars. Your meddling in things you cannot possibly comprehend caused the cannibal Raiders fans of 2006. Do you want a repeat of what Ben Roethlisberger did to all those Japanese kogal girls when he became an anime?

You wanted this so bad that you bought one of those ridiculous NFL packages on your TV. If you were real, observation would not alter the observed, but your life is a meaningless performance for those that look down from higher, incomprehensible perches. Watching all those games is changing the outcomes, just not how you would expect.

Drew Brees has a gem in the center of his forehead. When the ball is snapped he can see the circulatory system of every player on the field and, in red conduits, knows where their blood will be as the play develops. He can pass into coverage, because he can hear the song of the blood. But Drew Brees hungers. Your lust for betters stats have caused him to leave a trail of husks, drained of all moisture, their eyes black and their mouths frozen in silent screams.

I only warn you so that I may gloat that you are aware of your own depraved self-destruction. When Aaron Rodgers wears the black crown, when the skies over Baltimore open up, when the 49ers simply cease to exist, I will be there, laughing at your folly.

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:17 am #64980

does anyone know i'm even here? am i dead? can someone bring me back

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 12:18 am #64981

hello? i heard someone laugh hello? hello ?? ?? ???

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 2:20 am #65004

every time i watch the superbowl it feels like im watching a movie another country made to make fun of us

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 2:20 am #65006

whens tom brady gonna not play like a retard i refuse to suffer through another year if obnoxious "lmao us 12s" seattle dicksucking

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 2:21 am #65007

dude our fans yell loud in a stadium designed to make them sound loud lmao

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 2:21 am #65008

why does my dad keep throwing nachos at me and yelling “SUPERBOWL SUNDAY, FOOTBALL!” with his dumb friends who all work at various used car dealerships

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:07 am #65021

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:09 am #65022

MY FACE WHEN MY COACH CALLS THE WORST PLAY IN THE HISTORY OF THE UNIVERSE

and also my teammate starts a fight on the first day of black history month

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:10 am #65023

MY FACE WHEN MY ALMONDS ARE UNACTIVATED

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:10 am #65024

WHEN U NUT BUT SHE ACTUALLY STOPS SUCKIN

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:12 am #65025

WHEN YOUR DND GROUP BREAKS UP AFTER 2 SESSIONS BECAUSE SOMEONE ALREADY RAGEQUIT

nsos · Post by **nsos** » Mon Feb 02, 2015 3:12 am #65026

WHEN I REALIZE THAT EVEN THOUGH I DON'T HAVE TO HEAR SEAHAWKS FANS GLOATING I HAVE TO HEAR BOSTON SPORTS FANS GLOATING FOR THE NEXT CALENDAR YR