A Professional Peanut Thread

[Thunder11]

Bottom post of the previous page:

https://tgstation13.org/phpBB/viewtopic ... 23&t=28928

Discuss, but only in a professional manner.

[Rohen_Tahir]

It is dissapointing to see you guys poking fun of a valid complaint, admins should not be insulting people because they're frustrated.

I could make out one sandwich artist behind the counter, standing rigidly, unmoving. We burst, laughing, into a quiet space. There was no radio, no TV, just the faint hum of the lights. I don’t even remember a bell on the door, but there may have been one. As we entered, he continued to stare straight ahead, like a soldier at attention.

We didn’t think anything of it, it only seemed weird upon recollection afterwards. We lined up, looked over the menu and sandwich ingredients figuring out what to order. Someone had a question, like, “is the chicken any good tonight?” (It’s never any good). The guy didn’t answer, though. He continued to stand completely still, hands clasped behind his back, staring straight ahead. O….kaaay? We looked at one another, eyebrows raised, confirming it was odd to all of us.

Whatever. Our school was half designers and half crazy artists. Our benchmarks for oddity were pretty high. We pressed on. I remember him waiting until we’d specified all our topping options as well, instead of asking down the line as usual. As each of us ordered, he offered acknowledgement with a slight turn of his head, and a short, sharp nod. He was Asian, and had a neatly trimmed beard. He didn’t look us in the eye.

The instant we’d given our third and final order, he erupted into action. We all went silent. It was an incredible spectacle. He spun to retrieve three buns like a machine. A beautiful gleaming knife appeared in his hand, and he cut them in half with single measured strokes—no crumbs. His movements were so precise, so efficient! I was transfixed.
He would move so fast he seemed to teleport between tasks, then slow immediately to lay down meats and cheeses with such care and exactitude that they were evenly distributed end to end. You could have taken a ruler to them.

Most people have to dip into toppings like olives and lettuce numerous times, big tongsfull, tiny bits, poking around, adding, removing, getting the sandwich covered right. This guy went into each topping exactly one time, grabbing the ideal amount, and spreading it across each layer like a card magician fans a deck across table felt. I swear.

At some point, the most outgoing guy in our group broke the trance and started talking to the sandwich maker—stuff like, “you remembered all that?!” and “this guy’s like a ninja!” Then we all joined in, cheering first, calling out his actions like sports announcers, then trying to make him laugh, or even smile. Even our best attempts couldn’t crack that face of stone.

To this day, I remember how he grabbed a condiment bottle in each hand, executed terse synchronized flips—no flair—then piped parallel mustard and mayo lines up and down the sandwich like a robot printer. No spurts, no spaces, perfection.

There was a hint of showmanship near the end, when he spun like a dance master, tossed the sandwiches toward the microwave, then caught and inserted them in one fluid movement. Again, he stood like a statue while they heated. Our laughs, amazement, joy, and callouts elicited no response.

He took our payment with all the confident meticulousness he prepared the sandwiches, ever quiet, never meeting our eyes. I thanked him with an earnestness I’m rarely inspired to.
We walked out, hands in the air, shouting “Subway samurai!” Across the parking lot, I turned for one final look, and he had returned to standing motionless where we found him.

The guys and I gushed, sharing and reviewing all the details we’d noticed, the amazement, conjecture about his dark and varied history, until we returned and got back to work. Our sandwiches were, of course, excellent.

We went back to Subway the next day, hoping to relive the experience, but someone else was making sandwiches. We told him the story I just told you, but he said nobody like that worked there. He didn’t work every night, but he knew everyone, and the samurai didn’t come close to matching the description of any of them. I’m not kidding. He thought we were drunk or something. We continued to visit, but the sandwich master never appeared again, and remained a mystery to everyone there.

Hey guys, did you know that in terms of male human and female Pokémon breeding, Vaporeon is the most compatible Pokémon for humans? Not only are they in the field egg group, which is mostly comprised of mammals, Vaporeon are an average of 3”03’ tall and 63.9 pounds, this means they’re large enough to be able handle dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed do eiusmod tempor incididunt ut labore et dolore magna aliqua. Ut enim ad minim veniam, quis nostrud exercitation ullamco laboris nisi ut aliquip ex ea commodo consequat. Duis aute irure dolor in reprehenderit in voluptate velit esse cillum dolore eu fugiat nulla pariatur. Excepteur sint occaecat cupidatat non proident, sunt in culpa qui officia deserunt mollit anim id est laborum.

Google translates best effort;

ipsum dolor sit amet, consectetur adipiscing elit, sed tempor and vitality, so that the labor and sorrow, some important things to do eiusmod. Over the years, I will come, who will nostrud aliquip out of her the advantage of exercise, so that stimulus efforts if the school district and longevity. Want to be a pain in the cupidatat cillum has been criticized in the Duis et dolore magna flee produces no resultant pleasure. Excepteur cupidatat blacks are not excepteur, is soothing to the soul, that is, they deserted the general duties of those who are to blame for your troubles.

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[keepforgettingpw]

can i shitpost too

[Omega_DarkPotato]

can i shitpost too

no

[XivilaiAnaxes]

can i shitpost too

get fucked

[Rohen_Tahir]

can i shitpost too

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[Thunder11]

Excuse me, this is a professional thread. If you can't maintain a professional attitude towards posting here I may have to ask you to leave.

[terranaut]

can i shitpost too

yes

[Qbmax32]

can i shitpost too

if you cant shitpost why even live

[RaveRadbury]

if you cant shitpost why even live

[Tarchonvaagh]

if you cant live why even shitpost

[Farquaar]

if you cant even why shitpost live

[keepforgettingpw]

can i shitpost too

no

Ok I'm sorry

[John_Oxford]

https://gyazo.com/5707f68db0a1cba90a41476988646082

so if you have a role thats designed in all aspects to support human life, since they protect it, why shouldn't a borg that is by design designed to supposed to protect it.

discuss

[Rohen_Tahir]

so if you have a role thats designed in all aspects to support human life, since they protect it, why shouldn't a borg that is by design designed to supposed to protect it.

discuss

Great idea, let's port voredogs.

[Super Aggro Crag]

vore

[cacogen]

ok i actually read it and while im a few days late and this peanut has already descended into shitposting i'm here to post

he was a bitch who should've just switched servers instead of making it known to the world
the ai can be an overwhelming role and door requests are annoying and low priority (mechanically, you shouldn't need to see the door through your camera to open it)

https://gyazo.com/5707f68db0a1cba90a41476988646082

so if you have a role thats designed in all aspects to support human life, since they protect it, why shouldn't a borg that is by design designed to supposed to protect it.

discuss

what was the format you used to use to write your essays again? bold and italic?