Your beer sucks America Rules

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Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Timbrewolf » #81730

The other thread got locked before I could respond to oranges dumbass comment that American beer sucks.

It's a common misconception people still have because they aren't old enough to drink and just listen to jokes from their fathers or grandfathers.
You should probably educate yourself: America has gone apeshit over homebrews and microbrews the last few years and we're now one of the best nations on the Earth for beer.

Certainly better than whatever fermented Kangaroo squeezin' oranges drinks in the outback with Paul Hogan.

http://www.worldbeerawards.com/2014/the-americas/

After you're done mirin' all those American Gold Medalists you should try clicking the other regions. I'd recommend you grab a fistful of your Australian giant spiderwebs first to dry your tears.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by lumipharon » #81738

An0n3 wrote:Certainly better than whatever fermented Kangaroo squeezin' oranges drinks in the outback with Paul Hogan.

After you're done mirin' all those American Gold Medalists you should try clicking the other regions. I'd recommend you grab a fistful of your Australian giant spiderwebs first to dry your tears.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by EndgamerAzari » #81739

I haven't had many Asian beers. That herb & spice one sounds pretty interesting.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Timbrewolf » #81744

I've only had the big name brands like Asahi and Sapporo. They taste like white beers (aka wheat beers or witbier), if you're familiar with stuff like Stella Artois or Hefeweizen.

It's cool to see they're getting into brewing culture and adopting more non-traditional stuff like that.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Wyzack » #81746

Apparently we have a shitload of microbreweries here in ontario. Whenever i buy beer i just grab a handful of new ones i have never tried before, it is pretty neat.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Timbrewolf » #81750

Ommegang brewery is right in my neck of the woods. They made a bunch of beers for Game of Thrones.

If you get a chance try out the Valar Morghulis. Those things will probably be all over the place. They're okay, but the Valar is interesting because it tastes like a weird combination of cola and beer done pretty well. Kinda like if you've ever tried Jeremiah Weed spiked cola.

There's actually a fucking ton of breweries like that up here making all kinds of stuff.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Jeb » #81793

My roommate has taken up the homebrew hobby as of late, so far he's made a toffee porter, a honey hefeweizen and right now we're waiting for his latest to finish up.. Orange creamsickle
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by DemonFiren » #81796

I don't drink at all, but out of misplaced patriotism I have to say that FUCK WHATEVER BEER YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT UNLESS IT'S GERMAN.

My apologies.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by oranges » #81806

L M A O

Whatever you say swill drinkers.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by ColonicAcid » #81808

>arguing about this.
let's talk basic biology.
you reach a point in exquisite beer/wine/whatever poison you wish to drink where everything is controlled to the scientifically possible best. Your tongue reaches a point where it all tastes the same and of course we're all different and different environmental factors depend on how much you can taste. (for example someone who's damaged their tongue alot will enjoy strong tasting drinks whilst someone who has never damaged it will want something mild.)
After that, they're all the same quality wise, you really can't try and distinguish taste from top end beers/wines and the only real way to find what is the best is to look at it molecularly and see which has the best sulphur content and bla bla bla.
But you can't go and say that you decided to check and the sulphur levels of this wine is 200ppm and the other one is 150ppm so the first one wins.
http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle ... e-analysis
beers are exactly the same, you can argue all you want about this, but at the end of the day it's pure maths and human psychology.

America in terms of Craft beer and home brews are new to the scene, and theyre huge in numbers, it's statistically probable that they're chosen and they're probably going to be chosen at least somewhat if there wasn't large numbers of them because they're hip and cool and not german/british/whatever.

But let us all remember this thread is from a person who sees all port wine as something cheapo you put into your food.
Who hails from the country who invented wine in a can.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Bluespace » #81810

anything other than vodka or whiskey or anything with apple in is disgusting.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Akkryls » #81812

Cider master race.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Timbrewolf » #81833

ColonicAcid wrote:-snip-
You just sperged so hard somewhere out there in a Hot Topic a whole rack of fedoras mysteriously tipped itself over and fell on to the floor.

People will wonder for years if the store is haunted by some autistic poltergeist.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Wyzack » #81834

You wanna know who makes some nice smooth beers is the polish. Give Zwiec a try if you ever see it
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by nsos » #81836

the only beer i have ever tasted in my life is colt 45 and olde english 800
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Wyzack » #81838

Old english is liquid sadness, drank only by OG homies, the homeless, and dumbass teenagers who want to get drunk but have no money. I had an exceptionally awful day after St Patricks thanks to that shit, have never drank it again
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by ThanatosRa » #81867

I PREFER GRAIN ALCOHOL AND INDUSTRIAL GRADE ETHANOL
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Wyzack » #81869

90% ethanol smells nice, we use it to sterilize lab benches and stuff
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by ColonicAcid » #81889

An0n3 wrote:
ColonicAcid wrote:-snip-
You just sperged so hard somewhere out there in a Hot Topic a whole rack of fedoras mysteriously tipped itself over and fell on to the floor.

People will wonder for years if the store is haunted by some autistic poltergeist.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Timbrewolf » #81899

Wyzack wrote:Old english is liquid sadness, drank only by OG homies, the homeless, and dumbass teenagers who want to get drunk but have no money. I had an exceptionally awful day after St Patricks thanks to that shit, have never drank it again
>his parents wont let him tip 40's

Olde English is good. It's the best of all the 40's.

Coqui and Colt 45 are mehhhhh tier. You're gonna regret it if you drink more than one of them.

Steel Reserve is the kind of shit you drink if you're trying to train yourself up into some kind of living toxins container. Chasing Barton's vodka with Steel Reserve and just feeling the years being stripped off of your life with each mouthful.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by 420weedscopes » #82224

i brew my own cider
i put my dick in it every week
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by miggles » #82403

one time i tried some shitty canned coors or something and spat it out therefore all beers are bad
this is sound logic yes
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Maccus » #82414

oranges wrote:L M A O

Whatever you say swill drinkers.
>this nigga not knowing taste

sorry but this is a thread for people with a drink of choice that isn't goober gravy
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Timbrewolf » #82427

Always relevant

[youtube]KoxIX6yjgJ4[/youtube]
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Septavius » #82430

USA USA USA.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by miggles » #82550

i actually drink lil hugs because of that video
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by EndgamerAzari » #82552

That reminds me:

A couple months ago I was at the store and they had Kool-Aid Jammers (those flimsy plastic bottles with the Kool-Aid inside) for like a buck for a six-pack. I thought, holy shit, I always wanted to drink those as a kid, but I was never allowed! But hey, I'm an adult now and I can buy all those stupid little treats that my younger self was denied!

Turns out I wasn't missing much. It was incredibly disillusioning.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by miggles » #82554

MONDO is great tho
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by miggles » #82555

theyre like kool-aid jammers but cheap and not painful to the sides of your mouth
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by nsos » #82578

koolaid jammers are shit.

you want the real thing the only genuine article is capri sun.

[youtube]VkgmZ-p74oY[/youtube]

check out my main man fronzie here for the lowdown if like miggles and can't open capri suns without injuring yourself
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Maccus » #82590

Mondo is trash
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by miggles » #82683

Maccus wrote:Mondo is trash
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by miggles » #82684

nsos wrote:koolaid jammers are shit.

you want the real thing the only genuine article is capri sun.

[youtube]VkgmZ-p74oY[/youtube]

check out my main man fronzie here for the lowdown if like miggles and can't open capri suns without injuring yourself
i meant the ones in the plastic tubes
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Timbrewolf » #82758

Why is it every time we try to talk about adult beverages we get on this track where you guys argue whose mom puts a better juice box in their lunch?
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by nsos » #82783

one time i let my grandfather make my lunch for me in like 1st grade and i bit into the sandwich and realized he had made a jelly and provolone cheese sandwich
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by nsos » #82784

what the fuck is his problem
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Timbrewolf » #82787

There's this idea that if someone ever asks you to do something for them

you do such a terrible fucking job of it they never ask you to do it again.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by mrpain » #82801

Murrica wins again.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Timbrewolf » #82896

My friend left a bottle of this at my place

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I can't describe how fucking awful this is. I knew how fucking awful this was, this is like the third bottle he's been given for whatever reason. Fuck. I hate this so much. I'm convinced he is pawning this off on me now on purpose. You will go from having a great night to hating all life on this planet with one swig of this.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Wyzack » #82926

What the fuck is it?
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Cheridan » #82939

You know shit's bad when they put it in a cage to protect people from it.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Timbrewolf » #82948

Wyzack wrote:What the fuck is it?
It's called Wuliangye and judging by how it tastes I would guess it's made out of angry Chinese ancestor spirits who still hold grudges against the living and can't pass on into the afterlife. It's one of the worst drinks I've ever had in terms of taste.

It tastes so terrible it made me want to try the famous "Snake Wine" because I can't imagine anything tasting any worse than this. Snake Wine, for those of you who don't know, is illegal to import into the United States and is the most fucking metal looking drink of all time:

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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Maccus » #83021

What about three-penis wine
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Timbrewolf » #83893

My girlfriend took me out to taste scotch at this huge scotch bar that is exclusively for scotch and whiskey afficionados.

All this time I had no idea you're supposed to take a mouthful of it and let it kinda sit, swish it around, taste it a bit, and then swallow it.
Like...what? Most liqour you just slug because the real flavor of it lives and dies in your throat and your chest, you taste the burn and the fumes that rise up out of you after drinking it.

It was crazy to learn I'd been drinking scotch incorrectly this entire time. That it's this kind of crazy double-beverage that sits comfortably in your mouth and gives you a taste there, then has a second follow-up flavor after you swallow it.
Weird, man.

Tonight it's Knob Creek night though. Good stuff. Old friend.

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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Tunder » #93553

>knob creek

hue, Maker's>>>>>>>>>Knob


Also, it's that Maibock time of year, picked up some Hofbräu, the best thing about springtime.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by oranges » #93561

Oh I Never actually came back and apologized.

I wanted to say that there are some excellent microbreweries in the states.
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Timbrewolf » #93958

>that friend who always orders something ridiculous without feeling out the situation
>at a dive bar and they try to order an old-fashioned
>at a restaurant and they try to order a jack and coke

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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by ColonicAcid » #93989

fuck thats some gay ass nerd shit

you drink spirits like you drink semen

slurp it all up before you come to grasps with what you have just done.
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Wyzack
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:32 pm
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by Wyzack » #94010

I mostly just drink liquor when I drink alcohol nowadays. Although I do love a cold beer on a hot day
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EndgamerAzari
Joined: Sun Nov 02, 2014 3:59 am
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Re: Your beer sucks America Rules

Post by EndgamerAzari » #94011

Whatever stops me thinking the fastest. Last night I drank a 40oz Hurricane in under an hour and got the drunkest I've been since Valentine's Day 2013. Being on a diet has really cut my tolerance down but at least it makes it easier to forget my existence for a bit.
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MAYBE IF YOU'D QUIT SHITTING ON THE PLATE WHEN YOU'RE TOO LAZY TO GET UP TO GO TO THE RESTROOM AND JUST PUT THEM IN THE FUCKING SINK WHEN YOU'RE DONE
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