/tg/Station 13

So I assume that not all of you are as generally wayward as I am, floundering through life without a sense of direction or hope or dreams.

SO

What do strive for? What would you like out of life? What's your dream job/house/whatever?

To live another year or two.

How the shit do you manage to be even more depressing than I am

To find a way to live comfortably with minimal work and a body that is still valid, without excessively taking advantage of someone else.

Primarily, stability and security. So basically a home, a secure job, no debts. I have 2/3 of those right now, and I'm actively looking to buy a home now.

I like to think I live a simple life. I don't really have many material wants and I don't care for status symbols/jewellery/vehicles at all. I'm happy with what I have and I don't really need anything else.

Long-term, I think starting a family would be something I'd like to do. I just need to figure out where to find a girl.

I just want a job and get rid of all this shitty shitty student loan debt.

I also want to make video games as more than a hobby, but this place is as close to that dream as I'm getting.

Turn my grades around and get my A&P licence. That's it. Once that's done, my future is practically assured.

Become shogun and lead Japan to a bright future, failing that I'd at least like to have a bunch of video games based on said ambition.

Enjoy my time on this earth.

So far so good. It'd be great to be well known or at least respected for something but that's asking a lot.

Remie Richards wrote:To live another year or two.

EndgamerAzari wrote:How the shit do you manage to be even more depressing than I am

Strive to see a therapist

I want to become a writer.

Maccus wrote:
Strive to see a therapist

I want to become a writer.

I'm actually seeing one on Friday!

And I used to want to be a writer, but I had no faith in myself. I would still write for fun, but every time I open my current chapter I think "I should be working on job applications."

BUT!

Speaking of, I just applied to a position at the University of Nevada, Las Vegas. Their library is gorgeous and I'm actually feeling hopeful.

Earn a million dollars a year

EndgamerAzari wrote: I'm actually seeing one on Friday!

Hope it goes well, man! Good on you for seeking help!

EndgamerAzari wrote: I'm actually seeing one on Friday!

Good luck! Remember it takes a long long time to learn to be able to help yourself, just keep at it and eventually it'll come.

A few of mine are:

To see my story become a comic.
To get a dog.
To grow my own veg.
To build a house.

I actually feel like i've accomplished a lot of my previous ambitions. Yay for progress.

I want to get over my fundamental fear of failure, but that's gonna take a bit.

Maccus wrote:

EndgamerAzari wrote: I'm actually seeing one on Friday!

Hope it goes well, man! Good on you for seeking help!

Thanks! This is hardly the first time I've been to a professional about this sort of thing, but I think this is the worst I've been psychologically since I was a kid. Don't get me wrong, I can still function just fine (in fact, physically, I'm probably accomplishing more than I ever have in my life); I'm just miserable, have no faith in myself, and panic over everything.

DemonFiren wrote:I want to get over my fundamental fear of failure, but that's gonna take a bit.

Amen to that.

I wish to get my MSc in Cyber Security, and hopefully become a Ph.D. candidate.

Oh, I actually thought of one: I would love to go back to school and become a software developer or an architect--something that creates and designs. Alas, financial constraints, my steadily decreasing intelligence and ability to learn, and just my age in general probably remove that from the realm of potential.

Get the fuck out of this country

Scones wrote:Get the fuck out of this country

For a second there I thought you were saying that in response to my post and though "what the hell did I do?"

blaze it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

(alternative play video games for a living)

420weedscopes wrote:(alternative play video games for a living)

it's pretty cool that we live in an era where this is actually possible

I'd like to one day finish and publish the card game I've been working on for a few months now.

i want to publish a book and die

I want my sore throat to go away.

nsos wrote:i want to publish a book and die

i will at least accomplish 1/2 of this in my life working hard on the other rn

you shouldn't work so hard to kill yourself bro

on that note, i have so many ambitions that it's hard to focus on just one

InThePooPoo wrote:i have so many ambitions that it's hard to focus on just one

been there too, repeatedly changing your interests is a great way to completely destroy your motivation and never achieve anything worthwhile

my recommendation is to take your ambitions on one at a time, divide them in smaller subambitions you have an easier time to achieve. try to stay focused on one particular path.

No matter what you aspire to, you will never be as free as this man:

[youtube]bTwkM7gpx5E[/youtube]

Fuck, I've hit one of those ruts where I can't even fantasize about life being better. I used to browse housing listings and say "Oh wow, I would totally like to live there" even if it wasn't feasible. Now I just look and sigh, realizing that, despite how crappy my apartment is, it's the cheapest I'm gonna get for its size and none of the other places even make me feel happy to imagine living in. I've completely lost my ability to hope.

Begin and then finish my masterpiece.

I'm going to get my degree in soil science and then pursue one of three paths:

A.) work with the national park service as a naturalist/interpreter
B.) work with the USDA
C.) go overseas to north africa or rural china and join in soil restoration efforts

followed by traveling the world for awhile before

settling down somewhere that's not the United States and having a homestead with my partner. living off the grid, growing our own food, etc.

possibly inviting some friends and starting a homesteading community.

having kids is a maybe? if we can work it out

I'm already working for the state parks as an interpreter while going to school so my plan is going well.

just keep believing it'll get better azari you'll make it. alternatively move somewhere where real estate is cheaper

legality wrote:alternatively move somewhere where real estate is cheaper

I don't think it gets much cheaper than where I am now, unless I wanted to move WAY out into the sticks, which I think would basically exacerbate the situation. Plus almost all the housing prices have been driven up due to the fracking going on around here--the companies need to house like thirty people at once and so the landlords are really jacking up the rates. Oh, and due to incredibly lax regulations on waste runoff management from those projects, my tap water will probably be flammable in a couple months.

I really want to get out of here, but applying for jobs I know I won't get is such an emotional drain. I'm starting to think that I maybe need to force myself to be satisfied with what I have right now, because it sure as hell won't get any better, but it could be a whole hell of a lot worse.

Ambition is kind of a double-edged blade.

On one hand, if you have the feeling you never get ahead, that no matter how hard you try you just stay where you are, it can be extremely self-destructive for your self-esteem and you might never find happiness.

On the other hand, if you settle for the status quo and abandon your ambition, you will be in that status quo for probably the rest of your life. You can find happiness in that, but not everyone will.

Ask yourself: would I be happy if this is the first day of the rest of my life?

Thing is, I don't really have any ambitions. I never thought about what I wanted while I was growing up because it didn't matter. Now I'm trying to piece together these half-formed ideas in my head to try to figure out what I'd actually enjoy doing. If I manage to figure that out, then I'll see if it's a viable way to make a living.

>hometown is going to shit
>figures are starting to become comparable to a smaller Detroit
>state governor says we need to "Fend for ourselves" better
>wants to build a bunch of Casinos in the area and shunt the revenue to NYC

I would fucking stab you you piece of shit

If I had a chance and nobody would know it was me I would slit your fucking throat you motherfucker

Fuck you Cuomo

All our respective municipalities suck.

If there was a brand new city being built right now--like, from the ground up, not just growing out of a small town into something larger--I'd want to live there. History is important, but shit, I don't want to live around it. I need someplace that feels alive. The house I live in now is like 150 years old. That is as close as I'm going to get to LITERALLY LIVING IN THE PAST.

An0n3 wrote:>wants to build a bunch of Casinos in the area and shunt the revenue to NYC

does he think he's playing simcity or something

I think I speak for us all when I say: My ambition is to get to a place in life where I no longer want to play spessmen.

bandit wrote:I think I speak for us all when I say: My ambition is to get to a place in life where I no longer want to play spessmen.

It feels good man.

People scream and yell and call you a "normie" like having a life and a significant other is somehow a bad thing, or means I don't know what videogames are? The further and further you get from it the more and more ridiculous it is. I think about all the times my friends were asking me to come hang out and do shit and I had to stay here to administrate and argue about dumb bullshit in a game that doesn't mean a goddamn thing.

I like a lot of you guys and it's stupid that this inarguably bad game makes people upset with eachother.

I stick around to play other, better games and shoot the shit with people but man.

I've had more fun playing Reign of Kings and GMod and GTAV and KF2 and many other games with people I met here than I have had actually playing spessmens in a long time. It's a shame people get so fixated on this crap and take this one game so seriously.

“Beware that, when fighting monsters, you yourself do not become a monster... for when you gaze long into the abyss. The abyss gazes also into you.”

...and prettymuch everyone has fucked that up at least once at some point or another. Myself included.

An0n3 wrote:It's a shame people get so fixated on this crap and take this one game so seriously.

Fuck, I didn't have a suitable reaction image prepared for this.

Try this one

An0n3 wrote: It's a shame people get so fixated on this crap and take this one game so seriously.

One of the unexpected benefits of ADHD (or whatever I have that makes me unable to concentrate, the jury's out on that) is that it makes it all but impossible to obsess over things. It keeps me from taking stuff too seriously--hell, I hardly play SS13 any more, I just hang out on the forums while at work because I have nobody to talk to any more.

Of course, a downside of this is that I never get better at stuff I like and it takes me forever to learn, which in turn leads me to not do the things I like (read: any cooperative game) with people because I feel like I'm a liability.

Nah, you're fun to play co-op games with. Can attest from personal experience.

Purple belt in Brazilian-jiu-jitsu. Any other grapplers/wrestlers?

rdght91 wrote:Purple belt in Brazilian-jiu-jitsu. Any other grapplers/wrestlers?

I dabbled in boxing, and I used to study karate. We learned a few joint locks and grapples there, but not a ton. Did learn that I'm what's called a 'non-responder'--pressure points aren't debilitatingly painful to me. Sure, they're uncomfortable, but not knees-give-out painful. This meant that I was the one who always got them demonstrated on, of course.


I'd really like to be a part of some group creative endeavor, like a podcast or indie game or something, but my general incompetence, stunted creative drive, and lack of skill, confidence, and charisma make that a rather lofty goal.

Pressure points aren't really a "thing" other than pain-compliance. I've used them against untrained people to get them to stop fucking around but they won't work in competition because everyone there is adapted to that type of discomfort and pain. At lot of the older karate/tkd pressure point stuff is due to hypnotic suggestion- if you think they work, they do. That's you'll never see it in BJJ or MMA unless someone's clowning their opponent.

This is a great example: The guy can "force knockout" his own students without even anything real going own because they think it works, but gets his ass worked by a real fighter who doesn't believe it works:

But yeah anyway, martial arts are a blast.

I used to be really into martial arts but my hips started to seize up and I couldn't really keep up with all the kicks and things in Isshin-ryu karate. Got up to blue belt after a few years, which really isn't saying much. I know that regardless of how much I practice or study or train I'm gonna get my ass kicked in any actual fight so it's kinda hard to really put much effort into getting back into it nowadays.

I'd recommend trying BJJ at least. It's very, very different from Karate and TKD (99% of which have been watered down in the US). A blue belt in BJJ means you really do know how to fight on the ground, and even most white belts could probably stomp and untrained person (given that it takes longer to get a BJJ blue belt than a belt belt in most Karate/TKD). Part of my job means that I deal with violence and fights far, far more often than most people ever would so I can say from personal experience certain being calm and comfortable with violence and discomfort is something I learned from BJJ and MMA classes.

I'm guessing if I Goggle BJJ all I get is pics of BJs, which are hopefully unrelated.