Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

[ThanatosRa]

Bottom post of the previous page:

My grieving progress appears to be

1: Anger
2: Depressed
3: Drunk
4: Partial acceptance, go back to 1

[Wyzack]

He suicided with it in the dream, which caused it to Djingle itself to life

[420weedscopes]

i beat the witness' challenge

[TheWiznard]

He suicided with it in the dream, which caused it to Djingle itself to life

Don't make me Django the life out of you

[Timbrewolf]

I made a tuna fish sandwich and I'm eating it and it's like my tastebuds have changed.

It tastes awful. Fucking disgusting, like I'm going to vomit just forcing myself to eat this.
There's nothing at all wrong with it. It just tastes totally different and I can tell it's my tastebuds.

What the fuck is happening?

[Malkevin]

Did you pick up a can of sunflower preserved tuna instead of delicious salty brine preserved tuna?

[420weedscopes]

here is my story about tuna sandwiches
one time i walked into high school just like the day before and
in the form room (americans: roll call) a few of us would usually trade snacks and lunches and shit
i traded my good friend Daniel Fletcher two Kit-Kat bars in exchange for his tuna sandwich
he said he was not feeling tuna and that day i was not feeling chocolate so we swapped
later on after a few classes i sat down and ate that tuna sandwich
it was the best tuna sandwich i had ever goddamn eaten it was so tasty
more classes happened and we have another form room before we go home
so i go up to my good pal Daniel Fletcher and tell him hey
that was a really good sandwich bro thanks a bunch
i didn't manage to finish saying 'bunch' because i projectile vomited mid-word
he then told me that sandwich had been in his backpack for the previous five weeks
i had food poisoning and i'm pretty sure it's why i lost my right kidney a few years later
so i'd like everyone in this thread to thank Daniel Fletcher for that experience
thanks, fletch
love you buddy. let's beer sometime.

[TechnoAlchemist]

What kind of mad man doesn't tell you the sandwich is 5 weeks old

[TheWiznard]

What kind of mad man doesn't tell you the sandwich is 5 weeks old

the kind that really wants your kitkat bars

[Nienhaus]

I would like to thank WJohn for my new avatar.

[Drynwyn]

I've been contemplating my personal flaws lately.

I think my greatest flaw is a lack of humility. I frequently find myself struggling alone and in secret rather then reach out to someone for help, and when I do get help, I feel like an idiot who couldn't fucking figure his own shit out.

I need one of those old swordmasters like always show up in fantasy novels. Failing that, I would also accept a dramatic character arc in which I must quest to undo a mistake that I, in my hubris, produced of my own fault.

[Malkevin]

I want to laugh at something but what passes for comedy today is a joke, an unfunny tamed pc joke.

Anyone know any good comedians/shows that have the dark, sick, twisted, unpc style of humor I enjoy?

[Drynwyn]

I want to laugh at something but what passes for comedy today is a joke, an unfunny tamed pc joke.

Anyone know any good comedians/shows that have the dark, sick, twisted, unpc style of humor I enjoy?

There has yet to me a fit heir to Mr. Carlin, as far as I know, unfortunately.

[420weedscopes]

going with the obvious ricky gervais
he went to an award ceremony dressed as hitler one time

[EndgamerAzari]

It was Valentine's Day three hours ago and I continued my tradition of getting shitfaced drunk
Can't feel my hands
I bet I gained a ton of weight this weekend
Kill me

[PKPenguin321]

It was Valentine's Day three hours ago and I continued my tradition of getting shitfaced drunk
Can't feel my hands
I bet I gained a ton of weight this weekend
Kill me

I'm with you there, minus the alcohol and more "sleeping in until two PM and wallowing around the house feeling empty"
But I mean hey, things could be worse. At least I've got a house to wallow in, y'know?
Happy valentines.

[Malkevin]

I wonder what I could've achieved if all the time I'd spent pissing about with games I'd instead invested in doing something productive.

[Incomptinence]

Reading Moby Dick, these asides are fucking killing me. As a predominantly fantasy reader or hell appreciator of any fiction this is an abysmal way to give exposition about the intricacies of whaling. Even a dirty dumpster info dump to a audience stand in ignorant dumb ass (which Ishmael is in the story being a first time whaler FUCK IT) with convenient amnesia beats slopping in contemporary encyclopedic entries on whales into the story, a song sheet for some dumb song in its own jarring format or the writer going to extreme lengths to list every cultural allusion for the colour white he could possibly think of. The sort of applauded abortion where people need to read so much into the sloppy storytelling it is basically Bible code level of self delusion to find hidden meanings and good writing. Sure I like the story when it is there but this is like an orchestra taking breaks to all fart down plastic recorders every ten minutes.

I mean it is so bad I am probably going to set myself a long term goal to read other American classics to assure myself they aren't this dreadful.

[Zilenan91]

I remember going back and reading Huckleberry Finn a few years ago and thinking it was just some dumb, spoiled fucking brat shitting on adults.

[Wyzack]

Treasure island is pretty good

[ThanatosRa]

Reading Moby Dick, these asides are fucking killing me. As a predominantly fantasy reader or hell appreciator of any fiction this is an abysmal way to give exposition about the intricacies of whaling. Even a dirty dumpster info dump to a audience stand in ignorant dumb ass (which Ishmael is in the story being a first time whaler FUCK IT) with convenient amnesia beats slopping in contemporary encyclopedic entries on whales into the story, a song sheet for some dumb song in its own jarring format or the writer going to extreme lengths to list every cultural allusion for the colour white he could possibly think of. The sort of applauded abortion where people need to read so much into the sloppy storytelling it is basically Bible code level of self delusion to find hidden meanings and good writing. Sure I like the story when it is there but this is like an orchestra taking breaks to all fart down plastic recorders every ten minutes.

I mean it is so bad I am probably going to set myself a long term goal to read other American classics to assure myself they aren't this dreadful.

Yea, Melville was a filibustering asshole.

[Incomptinence]

Oh fuck I called white a colour instead of a shade, my criticism is obviously invalid.

[Maccus]

There's only two books you need to read to change your life fam

The Bible and Blood Meridian

[Whoisthere]

Blood Meridian was pretty neat even though I did not understand it or try to.

[ThanatosRa]

I read House of Leaves once. I'm still not sure what to make of it years afterward.

[TheWiznard]

I saw something on the forums and decided to stop doing my homework to make a gif about it for my new forum avatar. 17 out of 87 frames of click on the picture with magic wand - adding alpha layer - then deleting background - then adding a new layer - then moving that layer below the picture - then pasting the picture - then exporting it as a picture - then moving it to a folder that's not in the folder where the default picture is stored took about an hour and I was even using shortcuts. is there some kind of gifoo that my I haven't learned at 'training for your wizard powers camp' ? using gimp by the way

[420weedscopes]

i'm sick af

[TheWiznard]

i'm sick af

I always knew you were a little off

[nsos]

the most recent book i read was City on Fire by Garth Hallberg

it's a shitty book but i mean shitty overhyped books are nothing new but Garth Hallberg got a 2 million dollar advance for writing this shitty overhyped 900 page debut book though which i think puts it squarely in "boy if u dont get" territory

when 10+ publishing houses are bidding for this book with such razor-sharp literary prose such as His beard was Amish-ish and and In the moonlight through the ceiling’s trapdoor, her tits look like soft blue balloons or Great rolls of toilet paper arc like ejaculate through the black sycamores -- like the juvenalia of a graduated sonic fanfiction writer who has read A Ton of Palahniuk and Easton Ellis and Knows A Lot About Transgressive Fiction and is subconsciously writing a novelization of what he thinks new york was like in the 70s since he's seen Taxi Driver and read a couple of articles about Son of Sam and all 2 fucking million for 900 pages worth of "She wanted to rub his come into her skin like a transfiguring lotion" and "The sun over Jersey was medium rare"

fucking vomit

and i bought that shit with real money

[ColonicAcid]

im reading ulysses

[TheWiznard]

im reading ulysses

I think you mean useless. because that's what you are

[Maccus]

the most recent book i read was City on Fire by Garth Hallberg

it's a shitty book but i mean shitty overhyped books are nothing new but Garth Hallberg got a 2 million dollar advance for writing this shitty overhyped 900 page debut book though which i think puts it squarely in "boy if u dont get" territory

when 10+ publishing houses are bidding for this book with such razor-sharp literary prose such as His beard was Amish-ish and and In the moonlight through the ceiling’s trapdoor, her tits look like soft blue balloons or Great rolls of toilet paper arc like ejaculate through the black sycamores -- like the juvenalia of a graduated sonic fanfiction writer who has read A Ton of Palahniuk and Easton Ellis and Knows A Lot About Transgressive Fiction and is subconsciously writing a novelization of what he thinks new york was like in the 70s since he's seen Taxi Driver and read a couple of articles about Son of Sam and all 2 fucking million for 900 pages worth of "She wanted to rub his come into her skin like a transfiguring lotion" and "The sun over Jersey was medium rare"

fucking vomit

and i bought that shit with real money

that sounds like a 12-year-old noir detective

im reading ulysses

why would you do that to yourself fam

Joyce is the Jurassic Park of fiction. You can experiment and change things up a lot but sometimes it's questionable if you should. Anyone who shows you Finnegans Wake and tells you it's legitimately good or has any merit is either messing with you or retarded. For those of you who don't know, Finnegans Wake is what happens when someone transcribes what an Irish clone of Bill Cosby says word-for-word with no cleanup. Please read this book and remember that towards the end of it, Joyce went blind and couldn't write it, so he had to actually say what was in the book out loud to someone who would then write it down. If you do read it, you'll understand why that's hilarious.

[Ricotez]

I read Utopia recently, the original one written by Thomas More

he totally predicted communism but he kinda misjudged how well it would work

[Wyzack]

Do Andriods Dream of Electric Sheep is a phenomenal read. The time period it was written in blows my fucking mind also.

[420weedscopes]

i'm sick af

I always knew you were a little off

what

[Takeguru]

"We would like to kindly inform you that your order includes items that have had a change in release date."

Oh okay, surely that can't be too bad, probably just a month at wors-
3 month delay oh boy

I mean, it just saves me 12k yen for this month but still
I was expecting a weeb toy and I've been let down

[TheWiznard]

i'm sick af

I always knew you were a little off

what

sick as in the darkened mind kind

[ColonicAcid]

modafucka im illlllllll.

[EndgamerAzari]

Me:

[420weedscopes]

sick as in the darkened mind kind

was this not already common knowledge
i have like 200£ worth of fetish gear for fuck sake

[Deitus]

sick as in the darkened mind kind

was this not already common knowledge
i have like 200£ worth of fetish gear for fuck sake

>£

Fucking eurofags absolutely disgusting

Also pics or it didn't happen

[EndgamerAzari]

i have like 200£ worth of fetish gear for fuck sake

I have some friends you should talk to.

[Remie Richards]

sick as in the darkened mind kind

was this not already common knowledge
i have like 200£ worth of fetish gear for fuck sake

>200£
Wtf are you doing
it's £200 you weirdo

[420weedscopes]

Also pics or it didn't happen

NSFW:

http://imgur.com/3HwQvPH

I have some friends you should talk to.

are they fetishists/kinksters?

Wtf are you doing

go to bed you're too young for all this

[EndgamerAzari]

I have some friends you should talk to.

are they fetishists/kinksters?

You better believe it.

[ColonicAcid]

hey guys how are you all on this fine da-

oh

[Nienhaus]

Also pics or it didn't happen

NSFW:

http://imgur.com/3HwQvPH

Didn't actually expect that.

[Deitus]

Also pics or it didn't happen

NSFW:

http://imgur.com/3HwQvPH

Didn't actually expect that.

naw, i call bullshit. timestamp that shit with the message "deitus u r a fag" or i wont believe it. nobody is THAT bad.

[Nienhaus]

Clearly we need a picture of the maid outfit to prove otherwise.

[Timbrewolf]

[nsos]

things have gone in a direction in this thread