Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Thu Apr 20, 2017 2:39 pm #283317

Bottom post of the previous page:

Car went in for its MOT today, passed it but been told the head gasket is going - 500 quid to fix that

Think its time to send my poor fiesta to the grave yard.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Apr 20, 2017 2:52 pm #283321

Give it a viking funeral

420weedscopes · Thu Apr 20, 2017 3:39 pm

hello here is this week's video it is about my big fat fucking c(l)ock [youtube]1BTUlgJNbbg[/youtube]

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Thu Apr 20, 2017 4:44 pm #283370

Wyzack wrote:Give it a viking funeral

Hm... it is insured against fire.

But how to make it look like an accident.

Wyzack · Post by **Wyzack** » Thu Apr 20, 2017 4:52 pm #283372

use moltov and say some hooligans stole it for a joyride

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu Apr 20, 2017 5:10 pm #283385

420weedscopes wrote:hello here is this week's video it is about my big fat fucking c(l)ock [youtube]1BTUlgJNbbg[/youtube]

>clock cult propaganda game
>he actually was dumb enough to play it
execute

K-64 · Post by **K-64** » Thu Apr 20, 2017 6:37 pm #283415

Malkevin wrote:
Wyzack wrote:Give it a viking funeral
Hm... it is insured against fire.

But how to make it look like an accident.

Put a Samsung smartphone inside it.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Apr 23, 2017 9:19 pm #284605

CosmicScientist wrote:Happy dragon killing day!

Happy what

Post by **oranges** » Tue Apr 25, 2017 9:58 pm #285376

I made some toast

420weedscopes · Wed Apr 26, 2017 7:23 pm

good work

Super Aggro Crag · Thu Apr 27, 2017 1:36 am

oranges wrote:I made some toast

Impressed.png

Thu Apr 27, 2017 6:00 am

oranges wrote:I made some toast

Did you eat it as well?

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:15 pm #286020

>look at my campus map to find a building i need to go to
>see a building marked only as "armory"
*sweats*

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Thu Apr 27, 2017 9:16 pm #286021

Break in and steal all their guns, you know you want to.

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Fri Apr 28, 2017 6:08 pm #286351

Sounds like someone tried to make some extra money with the idea that "Oh, yeah, we can totally earn this public health budget if we just talk to people and run them through a script. it won't help them but hey money!"

Happens every time a government budget is involved somewhere, sadly

420weedscopes · Sat Apr 29, 2017 4:24 pm

C
CAN DO

fucking hell
stay strong bud

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Sat Apr 29, 2017 9:52 pm #286817

That just gives off the vibe of "Look good for government so we get that budget money"

Not "Look good for people we need to help"

Super Aggro Crag · Sat Apr 29, 2017 11:49 pm

I wanna help this man.

Super Aggro Crag · Sun Apr 30, 2017 2:56 am

I lost my mom tonight.

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Sun Apr 30, 2017 9:10 am #286909

Super Aggro Crag wrote:I lost my mom tonight.

Fuck, man.

Super Aggro Crag · Sun Apr 30, 2017 2:25 pm

Actually I prefer to fuck ladies

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Thu May 04, 2017 3:39 am #288305

Turns out I'm lucky I was fired from Subway. From what one of my housemates who still works there was telling me it's basically become a joke in terms of management.

> One of the shift supervisor complained to corporate about district manager for some bullshit regarding new hires
> district manager no longer in charge of hiring/firing as a result, aforementioned shift supervisor in charge of that shit instead now
> Shift supervisor can barely even speak English. He can make a good sandwich but when he's working the sandwich line his communication with non Mexican customers mostly consists of him asking one word questions like "cheese? Lettuce? Cucumber?" along with a lot of pointing
> Most of the newer hires since are also Mexicans with equally poor grasps on English
> District Manager is now trying to get him fired. Shift supervisor is now trying to get her fired
> Management has basically turned into a Spic vs American Game of Thrones.
> housemate planning on quitting.

Fucking love corporate politics or whatever you call this shit

Super Aggro Crag · Thu May 04, 2017 12:15 pm

Yes. Also a lot of them work illegally and don't pay taxes. This allows company to hire them for cheaper so they drive down wages in the area.

My work has a new engineer named Yaritzmar who has poor English skills. 90 percent of conversations with her involve her coming over and staring at you and saying "que?" A lot. I call her Yoda because she has green hair and talks funny.

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Fri May 05, 2017 11:55 pm #289030

My problem with the Mexicans where I work is that they're incompetent and incapable of communicating properly
> Female Mexican cook comes into the office, room immediately smells vinagery.
> 2nd degree burn on her foot, burn has mustard smeared all over it
> patch her up with burn cream and gauze wrap. She's trying to explain what happened in extremely broken English, pointing to shit around the office, and doing charades like a fucking mime trying to explain what happened
> Apparently one of her coworkers (also Mexican) was trying to carry a bunch of kettles of boiling hot water on a tea box instead of a tray like he was supposed to
> kettle predictably slipped off, splashing boiling hot water on her foot. She was wearing open toe heels in the kitchen because she's fucking stupid
> coworker who spilled the water smeared mustard on the burn, told her she was fine, and to keep working
> fortunately she wasn't that stupid and came to the security office
> have her fill out an incident report, she writes it in Spanish, we don't speak that shit
> Have to get a translator in to translate it for us so we can fill out our report.

Viva Mexico.

Jacough · Post by **Jacough** » Sun May 07, 2017 10:28 pm #290011

Eh, some of the other departments aside, the security department is still top notch and the people I'm working with are pretty cool. Several of them are former police and former military. The director himself is a former police officer himself who's seen his fair share of action. It's a pretty good sign when the director of the security department is someone who's actually seen some shit as opposed to some flabby desk jockey.

420weedscopes · Mon May 08, 2017 12:10 am

as we talked about in coolhole Fantastic Hands and Where To Catch Them sucks fucking balls and ass and taint and ass hairs

Nilons · Post by **Nilons** » Mon May 08, 2017 12:52 am #290077

big meme

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Fri May 12, 2017 1:50 am #292584

Thats why Man's oldest friend is still popular
And liver poisoning doesnt sound that bad

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Fri May 12, 2017 11:33 am #292693

I like this knight now.

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Fri May 12, 2017 6:49 pm #292872

CosmicScientist wrote: you can go look up the side effects and clinical trials and then you can figure out if you want to order some through a GP. It was a lot more fun than YOU SHOULD HAVE DRUGS, TAKE DRUGS, I AM A DRUG DISPENSER, I WON'T EXPLAIN, ACCEPT YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE DRUGS SO I DON'T HAVE TO THINK ABOUT DOING MY JOB BECAUSE I CAN WRITE DOWN THAT YOU ASKED FOR IT scenario with GPs.

(...)

I guess I feel sane when they ask me questions such as do you hear voices or do you read messages left for yourself in newspapers, telly and other areas and then I have to ask them what the bloody hell they're going on about in kinder terms than that. So I don't feel loopy when I know all the voices in my head are my own and the only messages I see are not for me because who gives enough of a sod to place conspiracy mind games with the saviour of the human race that I am? I am the master of 5D mind chess.

The majority of GPs literally just dont know anything about this except "Drugs fix this, give them drugs". So that's what they do, stick to the script and hope it works
And you would be surprised how many people hear voices and see messages for themselves in everything. It's actually very common, people just learned not to listen to these things or tell others about it.

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Sat May 13, 2017 3:23 am #293031

If you are over 25 and not already in politics, you'll never make it on a level above provincial
If you have any form of empathy, you'll also never make it in any level of politics

Screemonster · Sun May 14, 2017 12:14 am

I just took a door off its hinges and threw it away at 1 in the morning because it slowed me down getting my damn coffee

Nilons · Post by **Nilons** » Sun May 14, 2017 12:17 am #293389

Screemonster wrote:I just took a door off its hinges and threw it away at 1 in the morning because it slowed me down getting my damn coffee

That's pretty metal

Deitus · Post by **Deitus** » Sun May 14, 2017 1:54 am #293422

my manga collection so durkel will unbab me

XSI · Post by **XSI** » Sun May 14, 2017 2:52 am #293435

I looked for loss patterns in that

Ricotez · Post by **Ricotez** » Sun May 14, 2017 1:04 pm #293508

you got some good manga there, especially Calvin and Hobbes

420weedscopes · Tue May 16, 2017 3:15 pm

ColonicAcid · Post by **ColonicAcid** » Tue May 16, 2017 4:14 pm #294429

slept like shit last night because of my throat being sore as shit and making me cough every 5 minutes.

smoking is bad kids dont do it

420weedscopes · Tue May 16, 2017 11:37 pm

CosmicScientist wrote:Just enough time to get registered to vote? I can't really tell what that is. Webcam with mic? Can you get webcams without mics these days?

it is a Shotgun Microphone
they are attached onto either professional (£3500) video cameras or onto a DSLR and used to film outdoors without the immense amount of clicking you hear from most camera's inner workings

also i don't fucking know who to vote for dude shit

ColonicAcid · Wed May 17, 2017 12:30 am

vaping? nah i aint gay.

the only accessory i use is a pipe and that's because sometimes i literally cannot be bothered to roll a joint. i dont really enjoy the entire "hahuauhauhuahuauuhauh vaping is more healthy than cigarettes mentality!!!". I don't smoke cigarettes because it's healthy, like i know this shit ain't healthy but i'm taking the risk and doing it anyway...

Nilons · Post by **Nilons** » Wed May 17, 2017 12:32 am #294743

420weedscopes wrote:
CosmicScientist wrote:Just enough time to get registered to vote? I can't really tell what that is. Webcam with mic? Can you get webcams without mics these days?
it is a Shotgun Microphone
they are attached onto either professional (£3500) video cameras or onto a DSLR and used to film outdoors without the immense amount of clicking you hear from most camera's inner workings

also i don't fucking know who to vote for dude shit

I just got a blue yeti like a fucking tool, but it works pretty good. It'll probably benefit you considering your level of background noise though to get a mic like this

ColonicAcid · Post by **ColonicAcid** » Wed May 17, 2017 1:03 am #294752

>>buying a usb mic

i may have just simultaneously threw up and shat myself at the thought of that

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed May 17, 2017 8:28 am #294894

>austrian
okay now i hate you

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed May 17, 2017 8:43 am #294899

I read that.

Malkevin · Post by **Malkevin** » Wed May 17, 2017 9:42 am #294912

CosmicScientist wrote:Hey at least they produced Beethoven whilst you produced Hitler.
Wait for it...

Uhhh.... should I tell him or should you?

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed May 17, 2017 12:34 pm #294949

You're fooling Malk, which is no great accomplishment.
But you aren't fooling me.

Super Aggro Crag · Wed May 17, 2017 12:37 pm

Josef fritzl was australian

420weedscopes · Wed May 17, 2017 1:07 pm

Nilons wrote:I just got a blue yeti like a fucking tool, but it works pretty good. It'll probably benefit you considering your level of background noise though to get a mic like this

blue yetis are fucking horrible
also my mic (CAD U37) works fine, i just needed something for outdoor filming. it was buy the RODE one or buy a notebook to install audacity on it and awkwardly carry around that + potentially fuck up the CAD with environments

CosmicScientist wrote:Well now I feel silly because I assumed that looked like a webcam rather than dong mic. Whatcha up to that needs that? It sounds like fun!

i am filming my One Hundred Subscriber Special in which me and a friend will go out and buy ingredients and then use the ingredients to make a horrible cake and then proceed to love and care it and then slam my stupid fucking head into it

CosmicScientist wrote:>knowing who to vote for
Who does? It's hard enough to know if your vote will matter more than writing "Give this to the biggest cunt" on your ballot and imagining each candidate's face when they have to decide if it's a spoiled ballot or not.

i might do this

also it's already fucking here

DemonFiren · Post by **DemonFiren** » Wed May 17, 2017 1:12 pm #294965

Christ, Weedscopes. Is that you?

Nilons · Post by **Nilons** » Wed May 17, 2017 1:30 pm #294969

DemonFiren wrote:Christ, Weedscopes. Is that you?

O yea bud he's an uggo

Super Aggro Crag · Wed May 17, 2017 1:45 pm

Weedscopes looks like a cool guy