Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

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Jacough
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Jacough » #248392

Bottom post of the previous page:

Chick I've been seeing introduced me to this series called the 100. At first I thought it'd be some tweenage shit but God damn it's good. Marcus Kane is officially my nigga and an unkillable bad ass motherfucker
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Munchlax » #248654

Ricotez wrote:My cryptology exam was a disaster too, it took me half the time we even had to perform the Pohlig-Hellman attack on a prime order 2^5, and then I completely lost track when I had to carry out the Baby-Step-Giant-Step algorithm on prime orders 23 and 43. In the end I had less than an hour for the remaining 4/5ths of the exam.
ik had dezelfde ervaring, allemaal de schuld van die vluchtelingen, ik zeg het je
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Ricotez » #248671

geilebeer wrote:
Ricotez wrote:My cryptology exam was a disaster too, it took me half the time we even had to perform the Pohlig-Hellman attack on a prime order 2^5, and then I completely lost track when I had to carry out the Baby-Step-Giant-Step algorithm on prime orders 23 and 43. In the end I had less than an hour for the remaining 4/5ths of the exam.
ik had dezelfde ervaring, allemaal de schuld van die vluchtelingen, ik zeg het je
had ik maar op Geert Wilders gestemd, dan had ik me vast herinnerd hoe ik de Montgomery vorm van een Edwards curve moet berekenen
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on the arrival shuttle, I saw the iconic toolbox on the ground. I clubbed myself in the head with it trying to figure out the controls.
Setting the tool box, now bloodied, back on the table; I went to heal myself with a medkit. I clubbed myself in the head with that too.
I've come a long ways from asking how to switch hands.
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by XSI » #248710

Wilders kan de klere krijgen, niet dat die anderen beter zijn
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Deitus
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Deitus » #248846

speak american you communist bastards
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by A3STH3T1CS » #248893

no, let them continue

i wanna see where it goes
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Jacough » #248910

Spoiler:
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> this fucking minigun

Why. What good is it doing mounted on the hood of the jeep?
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Armhulen » #248911

Jacough wrote:
Spoiler:
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> this fucking minigun

Why. What good is it doing mounted on the hood of the jeep?
>you have a jeep with a minigun

"EVERYONE GET OUT AND WALK"

what the fuck
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Deitus » #249038

LE NEW PAGE, SHE IS MINE!!
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by 420weedscopes » #249088

stop it or else
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by A3STH3T1CS » #249095

Deitus wrote:LE NEW PAGE, SHE IS MINE!!
is that sig for real

what kind of cuck hands out a ban like that
banned consecutively from multiple communities
professional space law botanist
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Deitus » #249099

A3STH3T1CS wrote:
Deitus wrote:LE NEW PAGE, SHE IS MINE!!
is that sig for real

what kind of cuck hands out a ban like that
i get a lot of 'em like that, im used to it
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Wyzack » #249106

Whoever designed that jeep played too much spy hunter. In real life putting a gun entirely fixed to the front of a vehicle is retarded. It literally would be incapable of aiming up or down and even aiming left to right by turning the jeep would be awful. Why not just pintle mount it in the passenger seat?
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Whoisthere » #249535

Leaving Africa was a shit idea for us, as species, because now I have to sit on my ass in a cubicle in the middle of a frozen wasteland and listen to my colleagues cough and sneeze while I deal with documents titled "summary appraisal report" because I decided to leave my fucking comfort zone and become a fucking manager for a change because hey it'd be fun to see how cubicle wage slaves live and I remember I had broken ribs and that made air go into my thoracic cavity or someshit and I couldn't move without breaking into sweat from all the pain and I had to walk a bunch of kilometers and honestly it was great and I enjoyed every moment of it apart from those moments when I thought I should've just stayed put and waited for rescue or someshit but holy hell I don't know if any of you people do office work and if you do: WHY, just WHY, WHY FUCKING WORK A CORPORATE/COMPANY PAPER-PUSHING JOB EVER, I REMEMBER NOT EATING FOR SEVERAL DAYS BECAUSE NO MONEY AND IT WAS FINE, BUT THIS SHIT SITTING IN THE OFFICE JUST FUCKING TYPING SHIT IN WORD AND YOU CAN'T EVEN BE SURE TO LEAVE AT 6 PM BECAUSE HEY HERE'S SOME URGENT SHIT YOU HAVE TO DO FUCKING WHY I'D RATHER BE HOMELESS SAC THAN THIS SHIT
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Whoisthere » #249549

I'm leaving come March (just in time to spend the money earned over the course of spring; I look forward to all the spring-time smells and warm wind and being able to spend 2 hours having my morning coffee with French pastries). I just can't drop my responsibilities and walk out the door (though I wish I could), people depend on me. Oh well. This too shall pass. Today I have judo and a long ride home on a public commute waiting for me. I'll read a book and eat junk food on the bus and be happy until 10 AM next day.

Man life is awesome as long as you don't let yourself participate in bullshit activities.
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by DemonFiren » #249629

Martial arts are surprisingly useful at getting your mind off shit.
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Spoiler:
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Whoisthere » #249947

DemonFiren wrote:Martial arts are surprisingly useful at getting your mind off shit.
Tbh I hate judo and only do it because it gives me an excuse to weeb out and wear my gi. If I could pick a sport just for fun and not for retarded benefits like IT'S SELF DEFENCE or IT'LL MAKE ME STRONGER I'd play badminton all day erry day.

Do you martial art too?
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by DemonFiren » #250023

Tai chi for me.
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Screemonster » #250025

DemonFiren wrote:Tai chi for me.
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by DemonFiren » #250027

okay what
no, literally what
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Screemonster
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Screemonster » #250029

just reminded of one of the many shitty ZX Spectrum games I got bundled on the covers of magazines as a kid
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by DemonFiren » #250032

Bastards who programmed this probably don't even know the single whip.
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Screemonster » #250034

considering that they seem to be under the impression that tai chi involves a lot of jumping around on platforms and collecting items, you're probably right.
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Wyzack » #250057

Orange juice is the nectar of the gods anyone who thinks otherwise is a communist
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Arthur Thomson catches fire!
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Deitus » #250146

DemonFiren wrote:Bastards who programmed this probably don't even know the single whip.
i can do the whip

[youtube]JSuQZjPl2Rw[/youtube]
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Super Aggro Crag » #250324

Having problems with my Weiner. Keep having to pee at night. Makes it hard to fall asleep. Probably cancer.
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Malkevin » #250449

Super Aggro Crag wrote:Having problems with my Weiner. Keep having to pee at night. Makes it hard to fall asleep. Probably cancer.
Probably just a bladder infection, or maybe kidney stones.

Drink cranberry juice.
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Super Aggro Crag » #250463

Malkevin wrote:
Super Aggro Crag wrote:Having problems with my Weiner. Keep having to pee at night. Makes it hard to fall asleep. Probably cancer.
Probably just a bladder infection, or maybe kidney stones.

Drink cranberry juice.
I like cranberry juice but the plebes have ruined it with concentrate and cocktail and high frabjous cron sizzyurp
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by 420weedscopes » #250525

i was gonna write a big thing
about how i said bad shit to a girl i like and it went as poorly as you'd expect
but now i don't think i want to

just feelin empty for the first time in a long time
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Wyzack » #250526

Sad

I will be around later if you want to vent your frustration on some fictional characters via murder
Arthur Thomson says, "Since there are no admins I would loging with another account and kill you"
Caleb Robinson laughs.
Arthur Thomson catches fire!
tusterman11 wrote:Can you stop lying? I just asked you and you are was a piece of shiit on me!!!
Kor wrote:I wish Wyzack was still an admin.
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Super Aggro Crag » #250698

Another rejection
Sittin here thinking about the odds of a fall from three stories killing me on impact

Not very good right?
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by PKPenguin321 » #250700

Super Aggro Crag wrote:Another rejection
Sittin here thinking about the odds of a fall from three stories killing me on impact

Not very good right?
Dont do it
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well.
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Super Aggro Crag » #250704

Yeah pk I dont think I will there's too much chance of fucking up
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by XSI » #250729

Yeah, thats a bad idea
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Deitus » #250753

Super Aggro Crag wrote:Yeah pk I dont think I will there's too much chance of fucking up
we need you here, who else is gonna be able to tell us what's up?
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by ShadowDimentio » #251395

I got my wisdom teeth removed today. Had I not insisted that I get another xray scan before he started cutting me up I would only have had one removed out of the two and would have had to go back for more suffering.

Didn't feel any pain as he worked, but I could feel the force of him trying to rip the teeth out of my jaw and hear the crunching as they snapped free. It was awful, and now my mouth hurts and is full of blood.
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Deitus » #251402

ShadowDimentio wrote:I got my wisdom teeth removed today. Had I not insisted that I get another xray scan before he started cutting me up I would only have had one removed out of the two and would have had to go back for more suffering.

Didn't feel any pain as he worked, but I could feel the force of him trying to rip the teeth out of my jaw and hear the crunching as they snapped free. It was awful, and now my mouth hurts and is full of blood.
i got mine removed years ago, and it was fucking awful. the taste of constant blood oozing from throbbing holes in my mouth was only surpassed by the taste of the gauze i kept having to put in there that just became saturated with bloody saliva and squished like a fucking sponge whenever it moved at all

you have my condolences

in other news i somehow did very well on an exam i thought i was doomed to fail, and to celebrate went home and ordered a fight stick and some books (tao te ching, the vedas, and a book on chinese mythology). took another one yesterday that i think i did eh on and i should be studying for one now that i take in a few hours that im even more doomed to fail on. m-maybe lighting will strike twice r-right?
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by ShadowDimentio » #251409

I'm actually doing fine now that I have the awful gauze out of my mouth, ate some icecream, and applied an icepack to my cheek. The bleeding has slowed down and the pain meds have kicked in, only problem is that I don't dare move my mouth much lest my wounds reopen.
Spoiler:
"Clowns are different you can't trust those shifty fucks you never know what they're doing or if they're willing to eat a dayban for some cheap yuks."
-Not-Dorsidarf

"The amount of people is the amount of times the sound is played... on top of itself. And with sybil populations on the shuttle..."
-Remie Richards

"I just spent all fucking day playing fallen london and sunless sea and obsessing over how creepy the fucking dawn machine is and only just clocked now that your avatar is the fucking dawn machine. Nobody vote for this disgusting new sequence blasphemer he wants to kill the gods"
-Stickymayhem

"Drank a cocktail of orange Gatorade and mint mouthwash on accident. Pretty sure I'm going to die, I am on the verge of vomit. It was nice knowing you guys"
-PKPenguin321

"You're too late, you will have to fetch them from the top of my tower, built by zombies, slaves, zombie slaves and garitho's will to live!"
-Armhulen

"This is like being cooked alive in a microwave oven which utilises the autistic end of the light spectrum to cook you."
-DarkFNC

"Penguins are the second race to realise 2D>3D"
-Anonmare

"Paul Blart mall cops if they all had ambitions of joining the Waffen-SS"
-Anonmare

"These logs could kill a dragon much less a man"
-Armhulenn

">7 8 6
WHAT MADNESS IS THIS? POETIC ANARCHY!"
-Wyzack

"We didn't kick one goofball out only to have another one come in like a fucking revolving door"
-Kraseo

"There's a difference between fucking faggots and being a fucking faggot."
-Anonmare

"You guys splitting the 20 bucks cost to hire your ex again?"
-lntigracy

"Wew. Congrats. It's been actual years since anyone tried to make fun of me for being divorced. You caught me, I'm tilted. Here is your trophy."
-Timbrewolf

"I prefer my coffees to run dry too *snorts a line of maxwell house*"
-Super Aggro Crag

"You don't have an evil bone in your body, unless togopal comes for a sleepover"
-Bluespace

">Paying over a $1000 for a lump of silicon and plastic
Lol"
-Anonmare

"Then why did you get that boob job?"
-DrPillzRedux

"You take that back you colonial mongrel"
-Docprofsmith

"I don't care whether or not someone with an IQ 3 standard deviations below my own thinks they enjoy Wizard rounds."
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Deitus » #251418

ShadowDimentio wrote:I'm actually doing fine now that I have the awful gauze out of my mouth, ate some icecream, and applied an icepack to my cheek. The bleeding has slowed down and the pain meds have kicked in, only problem is that I don't dare move my mouth much lest my wounds reopen.
>ate icecream

absolute fucking madman
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by ShadowDimentio » #251427

The sheet they gave me of instructions say on day 1 to eat cool soft stuff like jello, yogurt and icecream. It was nice and soft and cool and got the taste of blood out of my mouth.
Spoiler:
"Clowns are different you can't trust those shifty fucks you never know what they're doing or if they're willing to eat a dayban for some cheap yuks."
-Not-Dorsidarf

"The amount of people is the amount of times the sound is played... on top of itself. And with sybil populations on the shuttle..."
-Remie Richards

"I just spent all fucking day playing fallen london and sunless sea and obsessing over how creepy the fucking dawn machine is and only just clocked now that your avatar is the fucking dawn machine. Nobody vote for this disgusting new sequence blasphemer he wants to kill the gods"
-Stickymayhem

"Drank a cocktail of orange Gatorade and mint mouthwash on accident. Pretty sure I'm going to die, I am on the verge of vomit. It was nice knowing you guys"
-PKPenguin321

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Deitus
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Deitus » #251438

ShadowDimentio wrote:The sheet they gave me of instructions say on day 1 to eat cool soft stuff like jello, yogurt and icecream. It was nice and soft and cool and got the taste of blood out of my mouth.
they just told me to slap ice on it and eat, like, apple cups or something. i honestly didnt like that more than the time they put a bunch of wires on one of my canines because it was backwards and i had to live with constant dully throbbing mouth pain for over a year while they constantly readjusted so the tooth could turn 180 degrees
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by 420weedscopes » #251703

got friendzoned :heart: :revolver:
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by tedward1337 » #251783

today marks the 2nd anniversary of my fathers passing

February sucks
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Remie Richards » #252216

CosmicScientist wrote:Bought strawberries the other day and still had over half a box of blueberries from last weekend.
"Hey I'm going to make pancakes."
"Alright I'll go get some lemons from the shop since we're out."
Wound up with a pancake station of toppings:
  • Sugar
  • Lemon
  • Strawberries
  • Blueberries
  • Cream
  • Grated chocolate
>no orange juice

you literally don't know how to pancake.
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by 420weedscopes » #252258

i seem to be the only one that makes a fruit pancake as well as a meat pancake
never combined that's fucking insane
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Super Aggro Crag » #252527

I dont like pancakes.
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Wyzack » #252528

I generally prefer waffles but good pancakes are still awesome
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Qbopper » #252560

I don't feel like making a thread for this but I wanted to share so here's my irl DnD game I'm playing in (it's my first time playing, and it's 4e, despite me having just bought the 5e book, wew)

My ranger's name is Roberto - his dwarven foster parents thought he was an elf (he's a half elf) and they thought Roberto was an elvish name

For context, we have "Frozone" the mage, a dragonkin who's "tits are slightly bigger than anyone else's that is near her", THAT GUY's character (he's gone though like 3 of them now because he keeps doing dumb shit and dying), the paladin who's god wants him to get into as many fights as possible, and the druid played by the french guy who takes 5 minutes to say "hey do you have any useful information on [quest] for us?". Aside from the paladin, the DM, and maybe the druid, this is everyone's first game.

We started with Keep on the Shadowfell (although I was the only one who felt we didn't do enough afterwards - we stopped the cultists from opening a portal and letting a big bad dragon out, but then promptly did nothing past killing the head cultist, taking his staff, and bailing on the portal where the dragon was still visible even though he can't get through) and are now on our way to Baldur's Gate, because no one else had any better ideas and I like video games. We're moving through a mountain range and like retards, didn't stop to rest until it was dark.

So I say "well uh, let's find a cave or something" because the area is known for having goblins and shit like that, when we hear thudding near by. I say "it's probably a giant" but the retard (THAT GUY) sends his swordmage running off into the pitch black looking for something to fight. The paladin follows, and they promptly find the giant when they run into its leg.

Someone has the sense to crack a sunrod and we start trying to unload on the giant, but it's got an absurd AC since we're like level 3. Frozone is essentially the only one who can reliably deal damage to the thing, and I say "fuck this let's run". Frozone's player is inebriated at this point (this session is his first time trying DnD, he's a known lightweight, and of course THAT GUY brings out a bottle of rum like a piece of shit) so he runs off into the dark without everyone. I give chase, considering the fact that the guy is drunk irl and likely going to do something dumb. More uninteresting shit happens and we're all taking a lot of damage, when the dragonborn with slightly-bigger-tits decides to try something absolutely retarded.

He asks the DM if he can throw the rope and have it loop around anything on the giant. Me and the paladin immediately see where he's going with this and are sort of in shock. Somehow, he actually manages to land the throw through a buckle or some shit like that I forgot, and pulls it tight. He then yanks two daggers out, and utters those fateful words.

"I want to climb the giant."

Nat 20 on the skill check, he starts stabbing his way up the leg. I'm usually an uncreative piece of shit, but this ridiculous display emboldens me, and I ask the DM if I can turn on VATS and aim for the eyes. I pop my daily to shoot two arrows, one at each eye, and let the d20 fly.

Nat 20, of course.

The giant is now blind, and blindly flailing around. Thanks to the rope and daggers, plus a healthy roll, the dragonborn manages to hold their grip on the giant's leg. Somehow, THAT GUY's swordmage manages to get killed by the giant's weapon, despite him not even making an attempt to hit any of us. The giant manages to push the arrows deeper into his eyes as he's shitting himself in terror. Somehow, the tiny group of retards have managed to turn the situation around. The giant falls as Frozone deals a nat 20 on a spell, and the party puts the boots to him (medium style).

we should be fucking dead tbh
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Wyzack » #252896

Second Second life
Arthur Thomson says, "Since there are no admins I would loging with another account and kill you"
Caleb Robinson laughs.
Arthur Thomson catches fire!
tusterman11 wrote:Can you stop lying? I just asked you and you are was a piece of shiit on me!!!
Kor wrote:I wish Wyzack was still an admin.
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Wyzack
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by Wyzack » #252898

Also not that i think anyone cares about tabletop stuff in the watercooler thread, but we do actually have a specific thread for it if you would rather post em there.
Arthur Thomson says, "Since there are no admins I would loging with another account and kill you"
Caleb Robinson laughs.
Arthur Thomson catches fire!
tusterman11 wrote:Can you stop lying? I just asked you and you are was a piece of shiit on me!!!
Kor wrote:I wish Wyzack was still an admin.
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Joined: Wed Apr 30, 2014 5:41 pm
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Re: Watercooler/Slowchat 2: Son of Watercooler

Post by XSI » #252926

I´m pretty sure that VR thing is going to get used for porn
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