/tg/Station 13

COCK ALE (circa the 1500's) A real recipe from some obscure text found in the Scottish Highlands... Enjoy....

Procedure:
"Take 10 gallons of ale and a large cock, the older the better; parboil the cock, flay him, and stamp him in a stone mortar until his bones are broken (you must gut him when you flaw him). Then, put the cock into two quarts of sack, and put to it five pounds of raisins of the sun - stoned; some blades of mace, and a few cloves. Put all these into a canvas bag, and a little before you find the ale has been working, put the bag and ale together in vessel.
In a week or nine days bottle it up, fill the bottle just above the neck and give it the same time to ripen as other ale."

Alternate recipe:
Brutal, eh? I was also given a modern recipe written by some guy named C.J.J. Berry.... Here goes this one...
"Take a few pieces of _cooked_ chicken and a few chicken bones (approx one tenth of the edible portion of the bird) well crushed or minced.

Also take half of pound of raisins, a very little mace, and one or maybe two cloves. Add all these ingrediants to half a bottle of string country white wine. Soak for 24 hrs. Then make on gallon of beer as follows:

1 lb Malt extract
1 Oz Hops
1/2 lb demerarra sugar
1 gallon water
Yeast and nutrient


Add the whole of the chicken mixture to the beer at the end of the second day. Fermentation will last six or seven days longer than usual and the ale should be matured at least one month in the bottle. This cock ale is of the barley wine type.

• Strengths
• Immune to all flashes and flashbangs
• Space Immune
• No lungs or need to breathe
• Recognisable as Human by AIs and cyborgs
• Chems are metabolised extremely quick (But is not immune to their effects)
• Immune to toxin damage
• If killed, may stand back up again with all injuries healed after 10 seconds
• Can resist out of restraints in a few seconds
• Can teleport, like the Wizard spell, but only while not being observed
• Disease and genetics immune
• Can use their weapon to force a door open after a few seconds

• Weaknesses
• Not immune to knockouts or stuns, being tasered or stunbatoned will make him stand still for a second + drop anything in his hand except his weapon (Disablers have no effect)
• No built-in regeneration abilities
• Has a bulky and obvious soul jar. If destroyed, The Welder drops dead and cannot revive. The Soul jar will slowdown its carrier, the Welder will be instantly alerted if it's picked up (it cannot be dragged) or damaged and can only be destroyed by lasers, fire, incineration or being tossed into a singularity
• Weapon comparatively weak to other slashers
• Cannot use guns
• Takes extra damage from fire
• Mute

• Strengths
• Weapon can be toggled between armblade and arm-tentacle a la Changeling
• Short-range Jaunt
• Variable Night+Thermal vision
• Quick-grabs
• Blinding Smoke spell
• Light-disabling spell on a quick cooldown
• EMP spell on a long cooldown
• Space immunity
• No lungs or need to breathe
• No blood
• Regenerates injuries quickly while in darkness
• Immune to tasers/disablers/stunbatons

• Weaknesses
• Weakness to light, will take brute and burn while standing in starlight or brighter
• Double damage from burn weapons
• Inability to understand Human language
• Extremely obviously non-Human to AIs and cyborgs
• Flashes will deal knock-down in addition to their usual effect. Same effect as flashing someone with thermals
• No revivification

• Strengths
• Immune to all forms of stuns and slips
• Has an unremovable indestructible ID with theatre and maintenance access
• Can summon "props" to an unoccupied hand, props include:- A squirt flower with larger capacity and strong acid instead of water, banana-themed caltrops that slip and embed when stepped on, throwable acid cream pies, a one-use airhorn that confuses, deafens and disorientates everyone in a 7-tile radius, barbed wire bolas that deal a small amount of brute per tick when trying to remove them, balloons that when used will pop and spread blood in a short range around where it is popped and a bikehorn that does the same as the airhorn except to only those it hits
• Recognisable as Human to AIs and cyborgs
• Outfit resembles a normal clowns but looks more bedraggled and has unremovable blood-stains.
• Has a passive, ongoing heal
• If killed, can re-appear somewhere randomly in the station's maintenance after a short amount of time
• Regenerates blood very quickly, metabolises chems just as quick
• Signature weapon is very weak, dealing ~15 damage, but ignores all armour
• Has a quick cooldown blink spell
• Can bloodcrawl
• Immune to projectile weapons
• Can slip out of restraints extremely easily
• Shoes are no-slip and don't have the slowdown normal clown shoes have
• Clown outfit has the same armour values as body armour

• Weaknesses
• Takes double damage from "security" weapons (I.E. Taser pistolwhipping, stunbatons and the HoS's laser gun)
• Needs to breathe and is harmed by the cold and low pressures
• Can be stunned (however the clown recovers very quickly)
• When speaking, random words will be replaced by "HONK"
• Is harmed by the Mime's Nothing reagent and will react as though it is acid if splashed. If injected, is treated as cyanide and mutetoxin
• Cannot revive if the body is destroyed before he is able to "respawn"