Made a rough draft of a ss13 book

[Highway Routine]

OK look. before you call bullshit listen to me. I had some free time and it is a very short book. Also i won't like post it here unless i get asked then in that case i will. so yeah. Called it the honkening. HONK! And want to know why i won't post unless asked? Because i don't want the admins banning me.




EDIT: someone asked.

The honkening

The day was sweet. The air was sweet. Something was really fucking wrong. Lei woke up today, in someplace different.

“What the... “ Lei said. “Is everything… made out of cookies?”

Honk, Honk. The sound was wrong, not right. It became louder, HONK HONK. Leia looked behind him. He saw it, The clown. It grew bigger every second, so did the honking.

“Get away! NO! Get away from me clown!” Lei said angrily.

The clown did not stop, it got bigger and louder and even closer. The clown grew like 3 arms from it’s back, said hands contained clown horns. Then he woke up. The alarm on the desk rang, and the shift started. And an announcement rang out, “Welcome crew to the station crew! And enjoy your stay.”

Lei thought to himself, “God… again? I hate that damn dream.”

Lei was a brand new cargo tech, whose job was to handle whatever comes through the mail. Which oddly enough was a lot, on a good shift there would be about 20 mail crates and on bad ones about 10. He wasn’t the best mailman, most of the time delivering mail to the wrong people or delivering it to a clown. But today was special, the boss was in a good mood (most of the time, he wasn’t) and made the choice of making lei on crate duty. Now crate duty wasn’t any better in anyway but it comes with access to the cargo console which can order basically anything. And generally things were fine until the package came.

“Hey lei!” someone said.

“Yes?” Lei said.

“Got some mail for you,” he said.

“Huh. What is it?”

“Couldn’t tell you. All I know is that it’s for you.” the person said.

He handed lei the mail. And then he opened it. The flash was so bright people from the other side of the station saw it. It was a bomb sent by mail. And then he woke up.

“WHAT?! Where am I !?” he said in a panicked tone.

“Calm my child,” a soft voice said.

“NO! Why the hell would I listen to a mysterious voice? Lei said in anger.

“I mean fair point, but do calm down. You're in the waiting zone.” The voice said

“Waiting for what?” Lei said.

“For the round to start again.” The voice said.

And then another flash and he appeared back at the desk. But this time with a plush of a white cat. Along with a briefcase filled with who knows what.

“What… just happened?”

“A new round started. A new beginning.” the voice said.

“Ok where are you… You’re not the damn cat plush are you?” lei said.
“Got something fucking wrong with it?” the voice said?

“Nothing really but why a cat?” lei said.

“... shut up. Anyway since I'm just a plush cat and not a normal cat, i need some food to allow me to become a normal cat” the voice said

“First of all didn’t answer my damn question and second of all what do you want?” Leia said

“ … I want a steak.” the voice said.

“Got it” lei said.

She picked up the cat toy and left for the kitchen. Although there were a lot of people this shift not many were in the hall, most were doing their jobs which here is a rare occurrence. As they arrived to the café, they realized where everyone was. Everyone was at the café and lei didn’t have the slightest fucking clue why. Then he saw it, a riding bull, everyone was near blackout drunk and riding a bull. A normal occurrence. This place was also the home of the chef and the barmen which can be a good and bad time

“Hey chef,” Lei asked.

“Yes?” the chef replied

“Could i get two stakes?” he asked

“Sure thing, that will be about 10 credits” the chef replied.

Leia stopped and thought for a second. When did the chef ask for money, most of the time they just have food all over. Something is really wrong here. What would he gain from money? He’s a chef.

“Yeah… Here you go.” lei said as he handed the chef the credits.

After about 5 minutes, the stakes were done and the “cat” was fed. Leia was still pondering about the chef thing when the “cat” interrupted. He started to wonder what the cat was. Was it god?, or a devil like nar'sie?

“Listen. You may have noticed that things are different around here. There is a reason for that, a brand new update came out and it changed somethings and added even more things” the voice said

“Yeah.. noticed” Leia said.

“And you see. I know you’re not going to believe me but. Everything here isn’t real” the voice said
“What do you mean by that?” lei said.

“Told you. But there is a way I can prove it.” The voice said.

“Yeah sure…” lei said.

“What happened to your parents lei?” the voice said.

He paused. Did he even have parents? Maybe the voice is right. No. No way in hell he was. He had parents. He know he did, but still he was unsure.

“I-I don’t know” he said back.

“I can show you, but you have to pet me” the voice said.

“... fine” Lei said reluctantly

As he petted the cat (Which was oddly nice) something came back to him. What he truly is, just a pawn in a game. He had no parents, no friends, nothing outside of the station. Only himself and the cat. Even the cat knew he was a pawn. Nothing truly mattered, all was hopeless. He learned things about the outside. Seeing that the outside was better, that humans weren’t as bad there. What was his purpose? What was the meaning? What was anything? The meaning of his world was just to be played and killed in all sorts of ways. He had nothing, He is nothing. He stopped petting the cat.

“No. No. this has to be a joke right?” lei said with a tone of panic.

“No. this isn’t a joke. I can set you free but you have to do one thing. And then your free” the voice said.

“What?” Lei said, still slightly panicking.

“Deliver the same bomb that awoke you.” the voice said.

“WHAT?! NO WAY IN HELL AM I DOING THAT SHIT!” He said angrily.

“Well if you want to live the rest of your life knowing that you’re life is fake then go ahead.” said the voice.

“... fine. I’ll do it” lei said.

“Good.” the voice said.

And suddenly it appeared the same exact envelope that blew up. This just reinforced the fact that it was fake. But he was ready to do it. And while on his way to cargo, he picked up a pack and a lighter.

“Hey lei!” Lei said.

“Yes?” lei said

Lei’s hands shaked. He was talking to himself. Even knowing what was about to happen. He was about to end him without ending him.

“Got some mail for you” lei said


“Huh? What is it?” lei said.

“Couldn’t tell you. All I know is that it’s for you.” lei said.

After that he walked quickly, people noticed him. And then the boom. Over the speakers and alarm rang. Everyone knew what it meant. Leia knew what it meant. Minutes later the death toll was announced, 15 people died and another 10 were mortally injured. He headed back to the cat. The cat looked at him. The cat opened a portal to the edge, a desolate place everywhere you looked there was white. It was the border was insanity and death. A place people die at. Where all things end.

“Well lei. Been nice doing business with you. But you know what to do.” the voice said.

“Yeah…” lei said.’’



He lit a cig and smoked it. Of all things to happen, this was not one of them that was on the bucket list. Die, meet a god, get stakes, realize that everything in your world and everything you cared about is fake. Why him, of all people on the station, Him. But he knew what he had to do. He stepped closer to the edge.

He leapt. And after that he met true god. A damn clown. HONK!

[TheFinalPotato]

Do I want to know why you posting it would lead to you being banned?

[cacogen]

ok go ahead

[Highway Routine]

Do I want to know why you posting it would lead to you being banned?

You always want to be careful. and also my poll post got taken down so yeah. been anxious.