What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

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Pandarsenic
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What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Pandarsenic » #637458

I'm thinking about putting this together as a crate that Medical can order if people think it's a good idea.

Because CENTCOM is RACIST, this would be a general kit with the bare minimums for solving health problems specific to those races. It could come in one or two medkit-sized boxes, a medical satchel, or a medical duffel bag, depending on how many of each thing the kit has.

Current prospective kit is...
  • Epinephrine medipen(s) for preserving any expired bodies while you figure out what the hell you're doing
  • Bottle of Hot Sauce (Warm that lizard right up in the cheapest way possible)
  • Regenerative Mesh (for Lizards, Plasmamen, podpeople)
  • Sutures (for Plasmamen, Flyswatted Moths, Ethereals)
  • Plasma Internals tank (for Plasmamen)
  • Oculine (for moth eye damage)
  • Pentetic Acid (for moth poison from pest sprays, ethereal charge problems, weedkilled podpeople)
  • Toxin Cocktail: Slime Jelly with a small mix of Plasma, Toxin, and Amatoxin (for restoring the blood of slimepeople who get killed by antitoxin effects)
  • Human Ears, and a human tongue if Felinids have a specific Felinid Tongue organ, I can't remember (for turning Felinids into Humans)
  • A preformatted paper note, detailing when and how each of these need to be used.
Thoughts on if this is a good idea, anything that should be added or removed, how much of each of these things, pricing, etc.?
Last edited by Pandarsenic on Wed Apr 13, 2022 3:18 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Rohen_Tahir » #637483

Add a body bag.
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Shadowflame909 » #637484

An IED

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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Farquaar » #637500

Rohen_Tahir wrote: Wed Apr 13, 2022 7:11 am Add a body bag.
That would unironically be really funny
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Pandarsenic » #637501

Body Bag and Mini Fire Extinguisher could be pretty entertaining options, and god knows you need them when plasmamen somehow get stripped...
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Flareguy » #637506

Coffee / Space Cola in syringe form, for lizard temperature regulation.
Space Cola might be a bit out of theme since licensing is Expensive™, but I'm not sure what else you could really use (I don't think water works for temperature regulation.)
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Pandarsenic » #637508

Apparently, several chems, actually - Modafinil from the "real" chems, plus Coffee, Chocolate (liquid), Cafe Latte, Soy Latte, Toxins Special (drink), and if you wanna get a little dangerous with things that warm you past safe temperatures, capsaicin/hot sauce.

So what I'm saying is, a bottle of hot sauce. Just feed the lizard hot sauce.
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Flareguy » #637509

Pandarsenic wrote: Wed Apr 13, 2022 3:18 pm Apparently, several chems, actually - Modafinil from the "real" chems, plus Coffee, Chocolate (liquid), Cafe Latte, Soy Latte, Toxins Special (drink), and if you wanna get a little dangerous with things that warm you past safe temperatures, capsaicin/hot sauce.

So what I'm saying is, a bottle of hot sauce. Just feed the lizard hot sauce.
No, no, coffee is the one that heats you up; cola cools you down, at least when served from the cola vendors.
I think hot sauce is much funnier than coffee regardless though, so that should definitely be there instead
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Pandarsenic » #637510

Lizards have high body temperature tolerance; the ones that cool you down are plasmamen and podpeople mainly. That can be done with all the sodas, tonic water, and several drinks made with ice. Also, straight ice cools without the "only if overheated" restriction.

Could all of this be done with leporazine? Yes. Is it funnier if Nanotrasen has a corporate partnership to provide Space Cola instead of real medicine? Also yes.
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Bawhoppennn » #637527

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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by datorangebottle » #637561

A first aid scanner.
No, not a health scanner.
The shitty first aid scanner that comes in the first aid kits and doesn't actually help with anything.
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by RaveRadbury » #637563

idk if this is too high effort but lizards have unique blood, same with ethereals

(moths should have unique blood)
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Pandarsenic » #637587

RaveRadbury wrote: Thu Apr 14, 2022 3:42 am idk if this is too high effort but lizards have unique blood, same with ethereals

(moths should have unique blood)
How hard is Ethereal blood to get, normally? Asking for chef reasons.

Chef reasons aside, I do want to add some of each of those unless it's supposed to be actually Difficult To Get... though, if it IS supposed to be difficult, I can't think of anywhere better for it to be provided than here.
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Screemonster » #637642

a box of these

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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Bawhoppennn » #637647

Screemonster wrote: Thu Apr 14, 2022 10:57 pm a box of these

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Oh my gosh this would be so funny for felinids
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Pandarsenic » #637649

Please tell me these already exist for the neck slot
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Time-Green » #637670

Euthanasia medipen for felinids
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Super Aggro Crag » #637743

green band-aids for lizards.
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Tapubulu » #637787

maint pills
:revolver:
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by CaptainKawoppi » #638240

maybe it should just contain a pair of shoes so that they can walk it off
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Rohen_Tahir » #638243

A spray bottle with space cleaner + water for cleaning the filthy trash-eating fucks before surgery.
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Pandarsenic » #640911

Another thought before I go in further on this:

- One medkit, not a crate with multiple for different species, since it's "One kit with basic solutions for all nonhuman species"
- No extra capacity, so people don't order it to have a bigger box, but maybe have it start overstuffed, that is to say it has more items in it than it can hold so once you take stuff out you can't put it back in? Or should I lean into using pill bottles to avoid overstuffing it?

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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by tattle » #640933

batteries and/or lightbulbs for ethereals (I think the energy bars from vending machines are supposed to give them charge too)
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Annihilite111 » #641016

The entire kit is 100u human mutation toxin and a knife. The knife is for anything that doesn't take chems
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Pandarsenic » #642814

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Feels a little too scattered. I think I might put most of it in a box or medkit sorta thing.
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Capsandi » #642818

No way, it comes in a crate! Putting it in a second box just makes you feel like you wasted your money on a smaller box.
If you could buy a crate with a standard medkit in it, OR a crate with the contents of a standard medkit in it in addition to an empty medkit, which would you buy? Thought so.
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Pandarsenic » #642823

Capsandi wrote: Wed Jun 01, 2022 1:46 am No way, it comes in a crate! Putting it in a second box just makes you feel like you wasted your money on a smaller box.
If you could buy a crate with a standard medkit in it, OR a crate with the contents of a standard medkit in it in addition to an empty medkit, which would you buy? Thought so.
Yeah, but I could consolidate:

- beaker
- mesh
- suture
- epipen
- epipen
- hot sauce
- hot sauce

into a box, and still also have loose the body bags, blood packs, pill bottle, internals, ears, and instruction manual.
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by terranaut » #642840

Add a budget version that costs half as much and is a pair of shoes for walking it off, a euthanasia medipen (30u Cyanide or some other slow killing toxin), a knife, body bag and space cleaner. It is the much funnier option.
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by FantasticFwoosh » #642852

Ill be that guy, nonhumans don't deserve specialist supplies of this category unless its outrightly demeaning, as all crewmembers are equally worthless to the company.

The bloodpack shipments already supply L+ as a matter of practicality.

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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Jonathan Gupta » #642875

Pandarsenic wrote: Thu Apr 14, 2022 11:36 am
RaveRadbury wrote: Thu Apr 14, 2022 3:42 am idk if this is too high effort but lizards have unique blood, same with ethereals

(moths should have unique blood)
How hard is Ethereal blood to get, normally? Asking for chef reasons.

Chef reasons aside, I do want to add some of each of those unless it's supposed to be actually Difficult To Get... though, if it IS supposed to be difficult, I can't think of anywhere better for it to be provided than here.
liquid electricity is a pain to get, I would be down for hemolymph though.
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Re: What would you put in a "Nonhuman First Aid" crate?

Post by Pandarsenic » #642885

FantasticFwoosh wrote: Wed Jun 01, 2022 8:39 am Ill be that guy, nonhumans don't deserve specialist supplies of this category unless its outrightly demeaning, as all crewmembers are equally worthless to the company.

The bloodpack shipments already supply L+ as a matter of practicality.
Some of it is demeaning (body bags, hot sauce, cybernetic ears), but low-key, one of the primary purposes of this crate is "OOC teaching tool" - it is to help people unfamiliar with the alien races learn what they're weak to and special stuff like L/LE blood that is a deviation from mechanical human baseline.
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