ITT: We make shitty suggestions and come up with poor ideas.

[Sandshark808]

Bottom post of the previous page:

Allow felinids to wear condom's pet collar.

I thought it was, or was that removed due to ERP?

[Davidchan]

You'd better post this as its own thread, because this shit is a great idea.

These are shitty ideas, post if your self to watch the coders moan.

Edit: while we are at it give tator HoPs a 20tc beacon. Looks like power sink but instead broadcasts over encrypted CC frequencies. If active for 5 minutes station is designated a syndicate Outpost and CC dispatches waves of deathsquads.

[L_Nacho_Chaos_L]

Allow chaplains to actually convert people to their religion.

Start of a round, Chaplain picks from one of a few preset religions, or can make his own custom religion using something akin to the quirks system. Followers of the religion can get minor benefits or have to abstain from certain activities like smoking, drinking, gambling, use of prosthetics, etc.

The Chaplain can 'convert' anyone to his religion by approaching them and reading his bible to them. If they accept before the channeling is complete, they get a happy thought and join the congregation. If they neglect to join nothing happens. Willling converts can also approach the altar at the chapel and pray for a short while to self convert. Conversion lasts for 30 minutes, after which the member reverts to their atheistic ways. This can be prevented by returning to the chapel once every 30 minutes, or the Chaplain going about the station giving sermons (channeling with their bible in visual sight or broadcasting over comms.)

As more people join the congregation, the buff improves over time giving the Chaplain access to 'miracles' like being able to replicate food or turn water into beverages, creating temporary orbs of light and for high populations the Chaplain and designated holymen might even be able to return souls to their bodies and revive them via rituals in the church.

While in the church, faithful gain slow regeneration, gain happy thoughts for interacting with objects in the chapel, and can attend confessionals to improve their moodlets (bonus points if its actually coded so the mob spouts out what ever damage or 'wrong' it's done so far on the shift or spouts out random sins as if brain damaged.) By mixing flour and holy water, the Chaplain/Chef can make communion wafers to feed to crew and grant faithful a short term bonus to their mood or other effects, as well as being a semi effective way of giving small doses of holy water to the crew during cult rounds.

As a bonus bonus, Honkmother and Silent Father should be added as legit religions, turning the Chaplain into a Clown/Mime respectively and granting congregation powers similarly themed, with high level miracles allowing the creation of Bananium or Tranquilitte, in addition to other memey things they could do.

Uh dude this is the bad suggestions thread.

[Reyn]

Make it so there's a big fucking announcement about engineering being fucking cunts if they modify their Research console to be able to do research for themself while someone else is actively doing RND.

Alternitively give engineering supermatter spears so they can fucking tide and kill like they always dream to, but then make them get banned for using said spears for any goddamned reason.

[Anonmare]

Unironically, xenobotany, with plants that need specific atmospheric/temperature conditions and/or unique substances for growth. Can be used to produce novel substances or genes that can be spliced into more robust, terrestial plants for regular botany to mass produce.

Also,
Give security a personal holodeck for VR training with some pre-programmed scenarios. Like the normal holodeck, all damage is stamina

• Arresting a compliant subject
• Arresting an agitated subject
• Holographic interview room
• Emergency crime lab (sec consoles, morgue + forensic tools)
• Riot scenario (Greytide revolutionary NPCs rushing all at once)
• Syndicate boarding action (Nuke OP mobs)
• "Stress relief" (A bound, undying clown bemoaning his existence as you beat him)

Emagging the holodeck makes the mobs lethal and have them actively leave the holodeck to look for people to harass. They will prioritize targeting security officers in revenge and shout taunts whenever they see anyone in a security uniform/wearing a sec ID.

[Farquaar]

Unironically, xenobotany, with plants that need specific atmospheric/temperature conditions and/or unique substances for growth. Can be used to produce novel substances or genes that can be spliced into more robust, terrestial plants for regular botany to mass produce.

Also,
Give security a personal holodeck for VR training with some pre-programmed scenarios. Like the normal holodeck, all damage is stamina

• Arresting a compliant subject
• Arresting an agitated subject
• Holographic interview room
• Emergency crime lab (sec consoles, morgue + forensic tools)
• Riot scenario (Greytide revolutionary NPCs rushing all at once)
• Syndicate boarding action (Nuke OP mobs)
• "Stress relief" (A bound, undying clown bemoaning his existence as you beat him)

Emagging the holodeck makes the mobs lethal and have them actively leave the holodeck to look for people to harass. They will prioritize targeting security officers in revenge and shout taunts whenever they see anyone in a security uniform/wearing a sec ID.

Thou hast posted in the wrong thread

[Davidchan]

Unironically, xenobotany, with plants that need specific atmospheric/temperature conditions and/or unique substances for growth. Can be used to produce novel substances or genes that can be spliced into more robust, terrestial plants for regular botany to mass produce.

Also,
Give security a personal holodeck for VR training with some pre-programmed scenarios. Like the normal holodeck, all damage is stamina

• Arresting a compliant subject
• Arresting an agitated subject
• Holographic interview room
• Emergency crime lab (sec consoles, morgue + forensic tools)
• Riot scenario (Greytide revolutionary NPCs rushing all at once)
• Syndicate boarding action (Nuke OP mobs)
• "Stress relief" (A bound, undying clown bemoaning his existence as you beat him)

Emagging the holodeck makes the mobs lethal and have them actively leave the holodeck to look for people to harass. They will prioritize targeting security officers in revenge and shout taunts whenever they see anyone in a security uniform/wearing a sec ID.

Thou hast posted in the wrong thread

[OFQ]

Unironically, xenobotany, with plants that need specific atmospheric/temperature conditions and/or unique substances for growth. Can be used to produce novel substances or genes that can be spliced into more robust, terrestial plants for regular botany to mass produce.

Also,
Give security a personal holodeck for VR training with some pre-programmed scenarios. Like the normal holodeck, all damage is stamina

• Arresting a compliant subject
• Arresting an agitated subject
• Holographic interview room
• Emergency crime lab (sec consoles, morgue + forensic tools)
• Riot scenario (Greytide revolutionary NPCs rushing all at once)
• Syndicate boarding action (Nuke OP mobs)
• "Stress relief" (A bound, undying clown bemoaning his existence as you beat him)

Emagging the holodeck makes the mobs lethal and have them actively leave the holodeck to look for people to harass. They will prioritize targeting security officers in revenge and shout taunts whenever they see anyone in a security uniform/wearing a sec ID.

That actually can make shitcurity be less shit since they will be able to vent their suppressed anger.

[Reyn]

Unironically, xenobotany, with plants that need specific atmospheric/temperature conditions and/or unique substances for growth. Can be used to produce novel substances or genes that can be spliced into more robust, terrestial plants for regular botany to mass produce.

Also,
Give security a personal holodeck for VR training with some pre-programmed scenarios. Like the normal holodeck, all damage is stamina

• Arresting a compliant subject
• Arresting an agitated subject
• Holographic interview room
• Emergency crime lab (sec consoles, morgue + forensic tools)
• Riot scenario (Greytide revolutionary NPCs rushing all at once)
• Syndicate boarding action (Nuke OP mobs)
• "Stress relief" (A bound, undying clown bemoaning his existence as you beat him)

Emagging the holodeck makes the mobs lethal and have them actively leave the holodeck to look for people to harass. They will prioritize targeting security officers in revenge and shout taunts whenever they see anyone in a security uniform/wearing a sec ID.

This deserves it's own fucking thread as it is not a shitty idea. It's a good idea.

[L_Nacho_Chaos_L]

Add the exact opposite of potatoes.

[Reyn]

Add the exact opposite of potatoes.

So add a gateway which is ireland Circa 1847?

[knacker48]

Add the exact opposite of potatoes.

So add a gateway which is ireland Circa 1847?

Add the island of Tír na Nóg as a gateway. You're unkillable while there but you die when you leave

[OFQ]

Ligger brain should be smooth and small to reflect the fact that they are fucking lizards. Heat should make them faster and cold - slower. Also instead of freezing to death they should get comatose.

[Arcanemusic]

Telescopic shovel item.
It's like a shovel, but it can fit in your pocket.
For the aspiring assistant to have some trusty POCKET SAND, ON THE GO!

[nianjiilical]

theres like 25+ types of golem in the game and half of them are boring

• -let gold golems produce gaudy bling items like novelty $ necklaces, gold studded glasses, blinged out hats, etc. also let them produce gold coins and flip them to people
  -make silver golems deal less damage to most mobs but super effective against magic and creatures of the night. let the chaplain bless them to give them a shining holy aura that fucks with revenants/wizards/demons/etc
  -let uranium golems toggle between normal radiation, low radiation to hang out with humans, and super intense radiation that drains their life but fucks up living creatures. also let them shoot concentrated radioactivity hadoukens but make them melt down and explode if heated too much
  -let plastitanium golems actually absorb heat when they're in fire/super hot areas. the hotter they get the more they glow, and when they're hot enough their punches light shit on fire and they can throw non-exploding fireballs
  -make glass golems fast and let them smash their fists into glass armblades, produce throwable glass shards and repair themselves with glass sheets, but make them extremely susceptible to losing limbs/features from even weak sources of brute damage or having shit thrown at them
  -let diamond golems create gemstones with different minor powers, or just to make fancy furniture out of. rubies, topaz, emerald, sapphire, amethyst, etc. if a diamond golem gets irradiated enough it can give its life to explode into the seven chaos emeralds
  -give plasteel golems real magneto powers if they're electrically charged
  -let sand golems become living pools of sand that can flow under doorways and basically immune to blunt/toxins, but fire/high heat slows them down until they become a glass statue
  -let plastic golems throw stretchy ranged punches, nullify electricity, grab items from range and 'drink' from gas canisters to inflate with deadly gas and transport it somewhere else
  -give botanists the ability to carve wood golems into different 'forms' with their hatchets. possible ideas include torch form with a burning head, nature form which gives them vine hands/fingers for botany, tank form which is just wood man from mega man 2, and weed form which lets them use their bodies as plant dryers and produce rolling paper
  -let cloth golems mummify people, wrapping them in gauze after a few seconds and basically cuffing them, and let them 'eat' people by wrapping them in their own body. people inside a golem have their bleeding stopped and the golem can run them to medical like an ambulance
  -give leather golems the ability to whip people like a weaker stun baton and make them incredibly resistant to energy, fire and blunt weapons. yeehaw cowboy secgolems
  -let bone golems turn human bones into things. they can turn limbs into tools/weapons, torsos into rib cages to imprison people, and heads/skulls into cursed skulls. ghosts can possess cursed skulls to fly around and help the bone golem's master be spooky as shit
  -likewise let cardboard golems make cardboard minions, either mobs or player controlled. little cardboard soldiers, cardboard go karts, little cardborg robots, cardboard airplanes
  -make bananium golems incapable of doing damage but also immune to literally everything except being spaced. honk

edit: also add lava cult. lava cultists start on the station, and a cult base spawns in deep lavaland, with the cultists being able to create two-way teleport runes that specifically go to the lava base. the lava base is dedicated to space pele the god of space volcanoes, and contains the bare minimum equipment needed for cultists to operate safely on lavaland. lava cultists' objectives are to grow the cult by bringing people to the lava base using the runes and converting them, and to sacrifice people by throwing them in the miniature volcano in the base for the glory of space pele for points, with dead bodies giving less and living healthy people giving more. each time someone is sacrificed to the volcano theres a chance for a lavaland eruption, increasing with points, that partially clears a path to the lava base and makes it progressively easier for the crew to pinpoint where it is. once the cult completes its objectives and gets enough points they can summon space pele in lavaland to ruin everything, open a limited number of permanent portals from lavaland to the station, and call forth player controlled lavaland creatures to help them. unlike normal cult they dont have to destroy the station to win, but they can still launch an assault from lavaland once the permanant portals are open and they can summon lava monsters

[Sandshark808]

-let bone golems turn human bones into things. they can turn limbs into tools/weapons, torsos into rib cages to imprison people, and heads/skulls into cursed skulls. ghosts can possess cursed skulls to fly around and help the bone golem's master be spooky as shit

We just need to be able to take out the bones from bodies and craft them into stuff. That would be lit by itself. Imagine a chaplain raiding the morgue to get sick bone furniture for his creepy cult.

[OFQ]

Add Emacs to PDA. If PDA emaged it should be able to run proprietary version of Vim.

[TheMythicGhost]

Engineering Related Mech that requires it to walk on connected power lines with additional gear that opens up as the line it is on reaches certain power thresholds, but has to maintain that threshold to use the gear.

[OFQ]

Gases should carry radiation so it will be easier to irradiate entire station with fusion - to make Atmosia on par with Engytopia.

[Reyn]

Gases should carry radiation so it will be easier to irradiate entire station with fusion - to make Atmosia on par with Engytopia.

This doesn't need to be added in, not out of it just being stupid, but out of atmos already being cancerous with fusion.

[nianjiilical]

roboticists should be able to built simple robots out of instruments + arms + cells, load them up with a song, and have the bot patrol the station playing it on infinite loop

[Reyn]

roboticists should be able to built simple robots out of instruments + arms + cells, load them up with a song, and have the bot patrol the station playing it on infinite loop

I feel like this, albeit a bad idea, still should be added in.

[nianjiilical]

injecting stabilizer into a monkey cube should delay how long it takes for the cube to become a monkey once watered

injecting chemicals into a monkey cube should make those chemicals appear in the monkey when it uncubes

stablizer + potassium + water should make monkey grenades

[cacogen]

Let captain access change which jobs have maint on the fly

[OFQ]

injecting stabilizer into a monkey cube should delay how long it takes for the cube to become a monkey once watered

injecting chemicals into a monkey cube should make those chemicals appear in the monkey when it uncubes

stablizer + potassium + water should make monkey grenades

injecting felinids blood into anything should make it felinid

[OFQ]

Condom's gear should protect against diseases

[L_Nacho_Chaos_L]

Add explosive diarrhea, which causes people to shit out pure potassium. When it contacts the water in a toilet, it literally explodes.
So basically, what happens is if you have explosive diarrhea and run over a toilet, your clothes fall off and the toilet explodes.

[nianjiilical]

traitor item: clown hole

when purchased, a 3x3 walled area appears on a separate z level

when used on a non-tiled floor, creates a portal to the clown hole that can be hidden with floor tiles

use the clown hole to store bodies, hide important items, or hold crew members hostage

edit: also give engineers the team fortress 2 sentry as a tator item. weird toolbox that deploys into a little turret when hit with a wrench, keep wrenching with metal in your other hand to upgrade it or crowbar it to turn it back into a toolbox

[TheMythicGhost]

traitor item: clown hole

when purchased, a 3x3 walled area appears on a separate z level

when used on a non-tiled floor, creates a portal to the clown hole that can be hidden with floor tiles

use the clown hole to store bodies, hide important items, or hold crew members hostage

edit: also give engineers the team fortress 2 sentry as a tator item. weird toolbox that deploys into a little turret when hit with a wrench, keep wrenching with metal in your other hand to upgrade it or crowbar it to turn it back into a toolbox

Idea: Doing anything to the clown hole gets you an instant rule 8 ban.

[nianjiilical]

been thinking a bit about how borers arent a thing anymore and whether or not a 'stealth infestation antag' can actually work, and ive put enough thought into this that its maybe not a shitty idea but not enough that i feel like making a proper thread on it so

side antag idea: myceloids. the name sucks but basically they're fungi-insect things, kind of a hybrid between borers and xenos. they have two main life stages, mite and crawler, and cycle between them. the goal of the colony is to survive, expand, and ideally have at least a few infested crewmembers on the escape shuttle. myceloids have three resources: nutrient points drained from crewmembers and converted into other resources, spawn points used to create more player-controlled myceloids, and colony points used to build a colony.

the first player spawns as a crawler with one use of 'spawn hive' and two uses of 'fungal net', aka the bare minimum to set up a starting nest, before becoming a mite and searching for hosts. hive mushrooms are the myceloid's hq, big mushroomy things that they spawn from and need to return to to grow the colony

mites are tiny flying creatures only a few pixels big, that can ventcrawl and move relatively quickly. they're incredibly fragile, and just spraying them with space cleaner can kill them; additionally, they die if their host dies. their main goal is to infest a human, and they have a few abilities to do so:
-hide/float toggles between their two movement modes. while floating they can move at a decent pace, but it's much easier to see them since they're moving around. while hiding, their sprite stays still, flattens out (think 2x3 pixels or something), and they're hidden from right-click menus, but become immobile
-ventcrawl is self explanatory
-become hive is an emergency ability that kills the mite and spawns a tiny little mushroom. if left alone, the mushroom will grow into a proper hive after a while, meaning as long as two mites are alive they can theoretically start from scratch
-infest is the main thing, and lets them jump into an adjacent crewmember. while floating, infest takes 1 second of uninterrupted action to perform, but mites that are hiding that infest instantly with no warning/message to their target

once inside a host, the mite gains a new set of abilities to drain their host for nutrient points, as well as some flavor/strategy abilities:
-drain blood is the slowest and most stealthy, and lowers the host's blood amount; it takes the longest, but if the host is in perfect health, a mite can reach full nutrient points just before the host starts showing immediate symptoms of bloodloss
-drain hunger earns nutrient points faster and lowers the hosts's fullness. reaching full nutrient points by taking the host from medium to near-starving. it's more immediately obvious, but probably not something that makes the host panic unless they're paying attention to why they're suddenly so hungry
-drain body is even faster but deals toxin or brute damage to the host. this is hopefully a very clear signal to the host to get to medbay and get examined
-drain life is the "fuck it we're going loud" option, dealing cellular damage to the host in exchange for the fastest nutrient gain rate, and 'marking' the target. if a target is marked, all future infesting mites gain significantly reduced nutrients from them, and humans can more easily determine the myceloids' weaknesses. given the rarity of cellular damage this is basically a huge flashing red light that myceloids are afoot, and it scorches the earth a little

-the mite has limited ability to inject healing chemicals into the host. stabilizers, probably, and maybe other healing types, but chemicals cost nutrients and should be tuned to avoid a) mites being able to singlehandedly keep their hosts alive through murders and b) mites being able to net gain nutrients by healing the damage they do
-emergency exit, the 'oh god the host is fucked' button, which causes the host to very loudly sneeze after 1 second, expelling the mite. this removes all of the mite's gained nutrient points. should only be used if the host is fucked and the mite thinks they can make it to a vent before dying themselves
-evolve to crawler, the 'intended' escape method. once this ability is used, the crewmember gets a vague notification that they feel uneasy/unwell/etc. 2-4 seconds afterwards, they get a second, more obvious message, and 1 second after that they abruptly drop unconscious. 2 seconds after they drop, the crawler emerges from their throat, dealing a small amount of damage to the host, and the host wakes up after 2-3 more seconds. ideally, the ability should give the host just enough time to call for help if they're attentive, while giving the crawler time to get the fuck out if nobody else is around to stop them. obviously this is a massive giveaway that myceloids are on station, but if the crawler is at full nutrients they've done their job

crawlers are small crawling things, about the size of alien larvae. they're very fragile, but thankfully not instantly murdered by most things like mites are. their goal is to return their gained nutrients to their hive mushroom, depositing them to exchange at a rate of 1 nutrient point for 1 spawn point and 1 colony point. they have a small number of abilities on their own, but can spend colony points to try and reinforce and spread:
-ventcrawl: obvious
-reproduce: costs a medium amount of colony points, and creates a fruiting body on the hive. the first crawler to eat the fruiting body gains one use of spawn hive
-spawn hive: creates another hive mushroom, with a new hive weakness (see below). hive mushrooms share colony points, but not spawn points
-fungal net: costs a tiny amount of colony points. a multipurpose ability. when used on cameras, it blocks ai vision of that camera without alerting the ai. crewmembers can very easily wipe the camera clean. when used on doors, it places a fungal tile under the door that greatly slows passage but can be burned away by fire
-fungal sprayer: costs a small amount of colony points and places a sprayer on the ground. as long as the sprayer is close enough to the mushroom, it steadily produces a fungal spore gas that causes unprotected humans to suffer debilitating but non-fatal effects, and in high enough concentrations begins coating the floor/walls in human-slowing fungal creep
-spawn new mite: not really a crawler ability, but whenever a hive mushroom has enough spawn points, ghosts can click it to spawn as a new mite. ideally, one crawler's worth of nutrients should be enough to spawn two mites, so that if the first crawler is successful they become a team of three
-regress: the crawler reproduces asexually, dying and spawning its controlling player as a mite after a few moments, to find a new host and repeat the cycle. if used in an adjacent tile to a hive mushroom, the mushroom slowly decomposes and absorbs the crawler corpse for extra resources

thus the myceloid gameplan is relatively simple: place hive mushroom, infest human, fill up on nutrients, escape their body as a crawl, return to hive mushroom, get more mites, repeat.

as for fighting the myceloids, the crew has two options. the first is to just murder them; killing crawlers with tools, welding vents so they cant escape, spraying mites with space cleaner, and burning down the hive mushrooms. the second is chemical, because all myceloids have three randomly selected chemical weaknesses
-the colony weakness, determined when the first crawler spawns. if the colony weakness is copper, every myceloid in a round is weak to it
-the hive weakness, determined when the hive mushroom is spawned. the mushroom, all nearby structures, and all mites birthed from it share this weakness, but if a second mushroom is grown, mites that spawn from it will have a different weakness
-the mite weakness: every individual player has a weakness that persists as long as they survive

if any one of a mite's three chemical weaknesses is in a host's body, the mite takes damage if it tries to drain nutrients, forcing it to find a new host or die. if a weakness is sprayed onto a structure, it dies almost instantly. the downside is that crewmembers have no way to determine what sort of weakness they're hitting. if they confirm a mite is weak to copper, it might be that mite, that mite's hive mushroom, or the entire colony, with no way to tell which besides experimenting.

in order to figure out the actual weaknesses, the crew can analyze either blood samples, or 'blood' samples taken from a dead mite/crawler:
-blood samples from crew members who were previously infested reveal 4 possible weaknesses (one real), and 2 chemicals that absolutely aren't weaknesses
-blood samples from crew members who are currently infested, who had a mite use emergency exit to bail from them, or who took enough cellular damage from a mite's drain life ability, reveal 2 possible weaknesses (one real), and 3 chemicals that absolutely aren't weaknesses
-samples taken directly from mites reveal two of their weaknesses straight up, and 3 chems that aren't any mite's weaknesses

therefore by taking blood samples from infected crew and cross-examining them, the crew can try to deduce the mites weaknesses and start handing out pills to make it harder and harder for the myceloids to spread

tl;dr fungi borer-aliens who dont outright kill the crew and turn closets into horrible moldy dens of depravity

[L_Nacho_Chaos_L]

been thinking a bit about how borers arent a thing anymore and whether or not a 'stealth infestation antag' can actually work, and ive put enough thought into this that its maybe not a shitty idea but not enough that i feel like making a proper thread on it so

side antag idea: myceloids. the name sucks but basically they're fungi-insect things, kind of a hybrid between borers and xenos. they have two main life stages, mite and crawler, and cycle between them. the goal of the colony is to survive, expand, and ideally have at least a few infested crewmembers on the escape shuttle. myceloids have three resources: nutrient points drained from crewmembers and converted into other resources, spawn points used to create more player-controlled myceloids, and colony points used to build a colony.

the first player spawns as a crawler with one use of 'spawn hive' and two uses of 'fungal net', aka the bare minimum to set up a starting nest, before becoming a mite and searching for hosts. hive mushrooms are the myceloid's hq, big mushroomy things that they spawn from and need to return to to grow the colony

mites are tiny flying creatures only a few pixels big, that can ventcrawl and move relatively quickly. they're incredibly fragile, and just spraying them with space cleaner can kill them; additionally, they die if their host dies. their main goal is to infest a human, and they have a few abilities to do so:
-hide/float toggles between their two movement modes. while floating they can move at a decent pace, but it's much easier to see them since they're moving around. while hiding, their sprite stays still, flattens out (think 2x3 pixels or something), and they're hidden from right-click menus, but become immobile
-ventcrawl is self explanatory
-become hive is an emergency ability that kills the mite and spawns a tiny little mushroom. if left alone, the mushroom will grow into a proper hive after a while, meaning as long as two mites are alive they can theoretically start from scratch
-infest is the main thing, and lets them jump into an adjacent crewmember. while floating, infest takes 1 second of uninterrupted action to perform, but mites that are hiding that infest instantly with no warning/message to their target

once inside a host, the mite gains a new set of abilities to drain their host for nutrient points, as well as some flavor/strategy abilities:
-drain blood is the slowest and most stealthy, and lowers the host's blood amount; it takes the longest, but if the host is in perfect health, a mite can reach full nutrient points just before the host starts showing immediate symptoms of bloodloss
-drain hunger earns nutrient points faster and lowers the hosts's fullness. reaching full nutrient points by taking the host from medium to near-starving. it's more immediately obvious, but probably not something that makes the host panic unless they're paying attention to why they're suddenly so hungry
-drain body is even faster but deals toxin or brute damage to the host. this is hopefully a very clear signal to the host to get to medbay and get examined
-drain life is the "fuck it we're going loud" option, dealing cellular damage to the host in exchange for the fastest nutrient gain rate, and 'marking' the target. if a target is marked, all future infesting mites gain significantly reduced nutrients from them, and humans can more easily determine the myceloids' weaknesses. given the rarity of cellular damage this is basically a huge flashing red light that myceloids are afoot, and it scorches the earth a little

-the mite has limited ability to inject healing chemicals into the host. stabilizers, probably, and maybe other healing types, but chemicals cost nutrients and should be tuned to avoid a) mites being able to singlehandedly keep their hosts alive through murders and b) mites being able to net gain nutrients by healing the damage they do
-emergency exit, the 'oh god the host is fucked' button, which causes the host to very loudly sneeze after 1 second, expelling the mite. this removes all of the mite's gained nutrient points. should only be used if the host is fucked and the mite thinks they can make it to a vent before dying themselves
-evolve to crawler, the 'intended' escape method. once this ability is used, the crewmember gets a vague notification that they feel uneasy/unwell/etc. 2-4 seconds afterwards, they get a second, more obvious message, and 1 second after that they abruptly drop unconscious. 2 seconds after they drop, the crawler emerges from their throat, dealing a small amount of damage to the host, and the host wakes up after 2-3 more seconds. ideally, the ability should give the host just enough time to call for help if they're attentive, while giving the crawler time to get the fuck out if nobody else is around to stop them. obviously this is a massive giveaway that myceloids are on station, but if the crawler is at full nutrients they've done their job

crawlers are small crawling things, about the size of alien larvae. they're very fragile, but thankfully not instantly murdered by most things like mites are. their goal is to return their gained nutrients to their hive mushroom, depositing them to exchange at a rate of 1 nutrient point for 1 spawn point and 1 colony point. they have a small number of abilities on their own, but can spend colony points to try and reinforce and spread:
-ventcrawl: obvious
-reproduce: costs a medium amount of colony points, and creates a fruiting body on the hive. the first crawler to eat the fruiting body gains one use of spawn hive
-spawn hive: creates another hive mushroom, with a new hive weakness (see below). hive mushrooms share colony points, but not spawn points
-fungal net: costs a tiny amount of colony points. a multipurpose ability. when used on cameras, it blocks ai vision of that camera without alerting the ai. crewmembers can very easily wipe the camera clean. when used on doors, it places a fungal tile under the door that greatly slows passage but can be burned away by fire
-fungal sprayer: costs a small amount of colony points and places a sprayer on the ground. as long as the sprayer is close enough to the mushroom, it steadily produces a fungal spore gas that causes unprotected humans to suffer debilitating but non-fatal effects, and in high enough concentrations begins coating the floor/walls in human-slowing fungal creep
-spawn new mite: not really a crawler ability, but whenever a hive mushroom has enough spawn points, ghosts can click it to spawn as a new mite. ideally, one crawler's worth of nutrients should be enough to spawn two mites, so that if the first crawler is successful they become a team of three
-regress: the crawler reproduces asexually, dying and spawning its controlling player as a mite after a few moments, to find a new host and repeat the cycle. if used in an adjacent tile to a hive mushroom, the mushroom slowly decomposes and absorbs the crawler corpse for extra resources

thus the myceloid gameplan is relatively simple: place hive mushroom, infest human, fill up on nutrients, escape their body as a crawl, return to hive mushroom, get more mites, repeat.

as for fighting the myceloids, the crew has two options. the first is to just murder them; killing crawlers with tools, welding vents so they cant escape, spraying mites with space cleaner, and burning down the hive mushrooms. the second is chemical, because all myceloids have three randomly selected chemical weaknesses
-the colony weakness, determined when the first crawler spawns. if the colony weakness is copper, every myceloid in a round is weak to it
-the hive weakness, determined when the hive mushroom is spawned. the mushroom, all nearby structures, and all mites birthed from it share this weakness, but if a second mushroom is grown, mites that spawn from it will have a different weakness
-the mite weakness: every individual player has a weakness that persists as long as they survive

if any one of a mite's three chemical weaknesses is in a host's body, the mite takes damage if it tries to drain nutrients, forcing it to find a new host or die. if a weakness is sprayed onto a structure, it dies almost instantly. the downside is that crewmembers have no way to determine what sort of weakness they're hitting. if they confirm a mite is weak to copper, it might be that mite, that mite's hive mushroom, or the entire colony, with no way to tell which besides experimenting.

in order to figure out the actual weaknesses, the crew can analyze either blood samples, or 'blood' samples taken from a dead mite/crawler:
-blood samples from crew members who were previously infested reveal 4 possible weaknesses (one real), and 2 chemicals that absolutely aren't weaknesses
-blood samples from crew members who are currently infested, who had a mite use emergency exit to bail from them, or who took enough cellular damage from a mite's drain life ability, reveal 2 possible weaknesses (one real), and 3 chemicals that absolutely aren't weaknesses
-samples taken directly from mites reveal two of their weaknesses straight up, and 3 chems that aren't any mite's weaknesses

therefore by taking blood samples from infected crew and cross-examining them, the crew can try to deduce the mites weaknesses and start handing out pills to make it harder and harder for the myceloids to spread

tl;dr fungi borer-aliens who dont outright kill the crew and turn closets into horrible moldy dens of depravity

Dude, read the fucking title of this post. This post is for SHITTY SUGGESTIONS ONLY.

[Reyn]

been thinking a bit about how borers arent a thing anymore and whether or not a 'stealth infestation antag' can actually work, and ive put enough thought into this that its maybe not a shitty idea but not enough that i feel like making a proper thread on it so

side antag idea: myceloids. the name sucks but basically they're fungi-insect things, kind of a hybrid between borers and xenos. they have two main life stages, mite and crawler, and cycle between them. the goal of the colony is to survive, expand, and ideally have at least a few infested crewmembers on the escape shuttle. myceloids have three resources: nutrient points drained from crewmembers and converted into other resources, spawn points used to create more player-controlled myceloids, and colony points used to build a colony.

the first player spawns as a crawler with one use of 'spawn hive' and two uses of 'fungal net', aka the bare minimum to set up a starting nest, before becoming a mite and searching for hosts. hive mushrooms are the myceloid's hq, big mushroomy things that they spawn from and need to return to to grow the colony

mites are tiny flying creatures only a few pixels big, that can ventcrawl and move relatively quickly. they're incredibly fragile, and just spraying them with space cleaner can kill them; additionally, they die if their host dies. their main goal is to infest a human, and they have a few abilities to do so:
-hide/float toggles between their two movement modes. while floating they can move at a decent pace, but it's much easier to see them since they're moving around. while hiding, their sprite stays still, flattens out (think 2x3 pixels or something), and they're hidden from right-click menus, but become immobile
-ventcrawl is self explanatory
-become hive is an emergency ability that kills the mite and spawns a tiny little mushroom. if left alone, the mushroom will grow into a proper hive after a while, meaning as long as two mites are alive they can theoretically start from scratch
-infest is the main thing, and lets them jump into an adjacent crewmember. while floating, infest takes 1 second of uninterrupted action to perform, but mites that are hiding that infest instantly with no warning/message to their target

once inside a host, the mite gains a new set of abilities to drain their host for nutrient points, as well as some flavor/strategy abilities:
-drain blood is the slowest and most stealthy, and lowers the host's blood amount; it takes the longest, but if the host is in perfect health, a mite can reach full nutrient points just before the host starts showing immediate symptoms of bloodloss
-drain hunger earns nutrient points faster and lowers the hosts's fullness. reaching full nutrient points by taking the host from medium to near-starving. it's more immediately obvious, but probably not something that makes the host panic unless they're paying attention to why they're suddenly so hungry
-drain body is even faster but deals toxin or brute damage to the host. this is hopefully a very clear signal to the host to get to medbay and get examined
-drain life is the "fuck it we're going loud" option, dealing cellular damage to the host in exchange for the fastest nutrient gain rate, and 'marking' the target. if a target is marked, all future infesting mites gain significantly reduced nutrients from them, and humans can more easily determine the myceloids' weaknesses. given the rarity of cellular damage this is basically a huge flashing red light that myceloids are afoot, and it scorches the earth a little

-the mite has limited ability to inject healing chemicals into the host. stabilizers, probably, and maybe other healing types, but chemicals cost nutrients and should be tuned to avoid a) mites being able to singlehandedly keep their hosts alive through murders and b) mites being able to net gain nutrients by healing the damage they do
-emergency exit, the 'oh god the host is fucked' button, which causes the host to very loudly sneeze after 1 second, expelling the mite. this removes all of the mite's gained nutrient points. should only be used if the host is fucked and the mite thinks they can make it to a vent before dying themselves
-evolve to crawler, the 'intended' escape method. once this ability is used, the crewmember gets a vague notification that they feel uneasy/unwell/etc. 2-4 seconds afterwards, they get a second, more obvious message, and 1 second after that they abruptly drop unconscious. 2 seconds after they drop, the crawler emerges from their throat, dealing a small amount of damage to the host, and the host wakes up after 2-3 more seconds. ideally, the ability should give the host just enough time to call for help if they're attentive, while giving the crawler time to get the fuck out if nobody else is around to stop them. obviously this is a massive giveaway that myceloids are on station, but if the crawler is at full nutrients they've done their job

crawlers are small crawling things, about the size of alien larvae. they're very fragile, but thankfully not instantly murdered by most things like mites are. their goal is to return their gained nutrients to their hive mushroom, depositing them to exchange at a rate of 1 nutrient point for 1 spawn point and 1 colony point. they have a small number of abilities on their own, but can spend colony points to try and reinforce and spread:
-ventcrawl: obvious
-reproduce: costs a medium amount of colony points, and creates a fruiting body on the hive. the first crawler to eat the fruiting body gains one use of spawn hive
-spawn hive: creates another hive mushroom, with a new hive weakness (see below). hive mushrooms share colony points, but not spawn points
-fungal net: costs a tiny amount of colony points. a multipurpose ability. when used on cameras, it blocks ai vision of that camera without alerting the ai. crewmembers can very easily wipe the camera clean. when used on doors, it places a fungal tile under the door that greatly slows passage but can be burned away by fire
-fungal sprayer: costs a small amount of colony points and places a sprayer on the ground. as long as the sprayer is close enough to the mushroom, it steadily produces a fungal spore gas that causes unprotected humans to suffer debilitating but non-fatal effects, and in high enough concentrations begins coating the floor/walls in human-slowing fungal creep
-spawn new mite: not really a crawler ability, but whenever a hive mushroom has enough spawn points, ghosts can click it to spawn as a new mite. ideally, one crawler's worth of nutrients should be enough to spawn two mites, so that if the first crawler is successful they become a team of three
-regress: the crawler reproduces asexually, dying and spawning its controlling player as a mite after a few moments, to find a new host and repeat the cycle. if used in an adjacent tile to a hive mushroom, the mushroom slowly decomposes and absorbs the crawler corpse for extra resources

thus the myceloid gameplan is relatively simple: place hive mushroom, infest human, fill up on nutrients, escape their body as a crawl, return to hive mushroom, get more mites, repeat.

as for fighting the myceloids, the crew has two options. the first is to just murder them; killing crawlers with tools, welding vents so they cant escape, spraying mites with space cleaner, and burning down the hive mushrooms. the second is chemical, because all myceloids have three randomly selected chemical weaknesses
-the colony weakness, determined when the first crawler spawns. if the colony weakness is copper, every myceloid in a round is weak to it
-the hive weakness, determined when the hive mushroom is spawned. the mushroom, all nearby structures, and all mites birthed from it share this weakness, but if a second mushroom is grown, mites that spawn from it will have a different weakness
-the mite weakness: every individual player has a weakness that persists as long as they survive

if any one of a mite's three chemical weaknesses is in a host's body, the mite takes damage if it tries to drain nutrients, forcing it to find a new host or die. if a weakness is sprayed onto a structure, it dies almost instantly. the downside is that crewmembers have no way to determine what sort of weakness they're hitting. if they confirm a mite is weak to copper, it might be that mite, that mite's hive mushroom, or the entire colony, with no way to tell which besides experimenting.

in order to figure out the actual weaknesses, the crew can analyze either blood samples, or 'blood' samples taken from a dead mite/crawler:
-blood samples from crew members who were previously infested reveal 4 possible weaknesses (one real), and 2 chemicals that absolutely aren't weaknesses
-blood samples from crew members who are currently infested, who had a mite use emergency exit to bail from them, or who took enough cellular damage from a mite's drain life ability, reveal 2 possible weaknesses (one real), and 3 chemicals that absolutely aren't weaknesses
-samples taken directly from mites reveal two of their weaknesses straight up, and 3 chems that aren't any mite's weaknesses

therefore by taking blood samples from infected crew and cross-examining them, the crew can try to deduce the mites weaknesses and start handing out pills to make it harder and harder for the myceloids to spread

tl;dr fungi borer-aliens who dont outright kill the crew and turn closets into horrible moldy dens of depravity

The Only reason that this idea is bad is not in the idea itself, Well, Primarily, I haven't read it over too much, But the main issue is that we have an antag freeze.

[nianjiilical]

i had a dream last night that byond was in financial problem territory and they found a way to charge people 5 cents in real life money to use the teleporter/gateway

[OFQ]

i had a dream last night that byond was in financial problem territory and they found a way to charge people 5 cents in real life money to use the teleporter/gateway

also lootboxes

[wesoda25]

Make the emergency shuttle have a chance to have events happen to it while on its way to centcomm.

Off the top of my head the orion trail game themed ones would be cool. 1/50 chance to enter a small asteroid field, 1/100 for medium, 1/200 for large. 1/1000 chance to accidentally fly into a black hole, etc etc smaller chances for lesser dangers.

These are just dangerous ones, but what would make it actually awesome would be to add cool flavor ones and shit. Fly through some cool space thingy (yes im smart) that makes space light up.

Think it could really spice up boring shuttle departures and make escape more engaging, as opposed to AFK/grief time.

[Deepwoods]

Bring back Sec borgs as a special class of cyborg that is bound to a Space Law lawset. If someone tries to emag them, they get shocked to crit by an active deterrence system. They cannot be subverted, but there's a much stricter policy in play regarding them to the degree where a special chip has to be installed in them via an approved Cargo order. And abusing them or acting like shitsec in borg form gets you banned. You're expected to act like a cyborg Judge Dredd. Lasers can be enabled only via the Captain's ID being used on them in the style of an emag.

NUCLEAR OPERATIVE VICTORY... IMPOSSIBLE.

[Reyn]

Make the emergency shuttle have a chance to have events happen to it while on its way to centcomm.

Off the top of my head the orion trail game themed ones would be cool. 1/50 chance to enter a small asteroid field, 1/100 for medium, 1/200 for large. 1/1000 chance to accidentally fly into a black hole, etc etc smaller chances for lesser dangers.

These are just dangerous ones, but what would make it actually awesome would be to add cool flavor ones and shit. Fly through some cool space thingy (yes im smart) that makes space light up.

Think it could really spice up boring shuttle departures and make escape more engaging, as opposed to AFK/grief time.

have a 1 in 100000 chance to go through a time vortex and go back to the station as it was at the start of the round.

[L_Nacho_Chaos_L]

The singularity cannot eat clowns. Instead, the clown eats the singularity and becomes a massive abomination that turns everything into bananium.

[Reyn]

Give nonantag clowns a clown car on occasion, and let them have fun with it as long as they dont intentionally kill someone with it

Hell, make a clown taxi service.

[Sandshark808]

Give nonantag clowns a clown car on occasion, and let them have fun with it as long as they dont intentionally kill someone with it

Hell, make a clown taxi service.

There should be a way to get or make a more gimped version somehow, like with bananium or by going to clown planet. You can do that with ebows using illegal tech.

[Reyn]

Give nonantag clowns a clown car on occasion, and let them have fun with it as long as they dont intentionally kill someone with it

Hell, make a clown taxi service.

There should be a way to get or make a more gimped version somehow, like with bananium or by going to clown planet. You can do that with ebows using illegal tech.

On that note, I actually think the clown taxi should be further elaborated on. The clown taxi can have people say their destination, and the clown will either drive them to their destination, or take them on Mr honks wild ride. In the case of the later, PERHAPS the people in the clown taxi can get off. crashing wont fling people.

[Sandshark808]

Give nonantag clowns a clown car on occasion, and let them have fun with it as long as they dont intentionally kill someone with it

Hell, make a clown taxi service.

There should be a way to get or make a more gimped version somehow, like with bananium or by going to clown planet. You can do that with ebows using illegal tech.

On that note, I actually think the clown taxi should be further elaborated on. The clown taxi can have people say their destination, and the clown will either drive them to their destination, or take them on Mr honks wild ride. In the case of the later, PERHAPS the people in the clown taxi can get off. crashing wont fling people.

Well you know, the station does have subdivided regions and it's possible to code things that interact with those. It could be possible to bring up a window displaying a list of destinations (you could also auto-populate this from the list of existing locations, since the blueprints seem to have that feature) where you can get off, and if the clown goes there you get punted out the side door.

[Reyn]

Give nonantag clowns a clown car on occasion, and let them have fun with it as long as they dont intentionally kill someone with it

Hell, make a clown taxi service.

There should be a way to get or make a more gimped version somehow, like with bananium or by going to clown planet. You can do that with ebows using illegal tech.

On that note, I actually think the clown taxi should be further elaborated on. The clown taxi can have people say their destination, and the clown will either drive them to their destination, or take them on Mr honks wild ride. In the case of the later, PERHAPS the people in the clown taxi can get off. crashing wont fling people.

Well you know, the station does have subdivided regions and it's possible to code things that interact with those. It could be possible to bring up a window displaying a list of destinations (you could also auto-populate this from the list of existing locations, since the blueprints seem to have that feature) where you can get off, and if the clown goes there you get punted out the side door.

We may have made it so this idea doesnt fit here anymore.

[deedubya]

Rename the Apothecary to the Pharmacy.

[Reyn]

Rename the Apothecary to the Pharmacy.

...

Why the fuck was it called the apothecary in the first place?

[Screemonster]

a silent movie camera for traitor mimes

when used it allows them to speak, but in the format of a full-screen card that blocks out the view of everyone in hearing range to tell you what they said

[Sandshark808]

a silent movie camera for traitor mimes

when used it allows them to speak, but in the format of a full-screen card that blocks out the view of everyone in hearing range to tell you what they said

That's amazing. What if it made a big pop-up (like speech bubbles for lawyers) that covered up a section of the game?

[Screemonster]

a silent movie camera for traitor mimes

when used it allows them to speak, but in the format of a full-screen card that blocks out the view of everyone in hearing range to tell you what they said

That's amazing. What if it made a big pop-up (like speech bubbles for lawyers) that covered up a section of the game?

I'm just talking about temporarily filling the entire screen with whatever godforsaken copypasta you just dug up

[Reyn]

a silent movie camera for traitor mimes

when used it allows them to speak, but in the format of a full-screen card that blocks out the view of everyone in hearing range to tell you what they said

That's amazing. What if it made a big pop-up (like speech bubbles for lawyers) that covered up a section of the game?

I'm just talking about temporarily filling the entire screen with whatever godforsaken copypasta you just dug up

(Cursed as fuck image)

As much as that is a GLORIOUS idea, it should have a high TC cost, have a slight cooldown (So a mime can't just run around yelling E and ruin everyone's day), And there may need to be SOME rules on what you can say.

That being said I'd probably run around yelling stupid shit all round with that, and or would recite meduka meguca.

[knacker48]

a silent movie camera for traitor mimes

when used it allows them to speak, but in the format of a full-screen card that blocks out the view of everyone in hearing range to tell you what they said

That's amazing. What if it made a big pop-up (like speech bubbles for lawyers) that covered up a section of the game?

I'm just talking about temporarily filling the entire screen with whatever godforsaken copypasta you just dug up

(Cursed as fuck image)

As much as that is a GLORIOUS idea, it should have a high TC cost, have a slight cooldown (So a mime can't just run around yelling E and ruin everyone's day), And there may need to be SOME rules on what you can say.

That being said I'd probably run around yelling stupid shit all round with that, and or would recite meduka meguca.

It should be something like the syndie balloon in that it should cost 20 tc for basically bragging rights

[L_Nacho_Chaos_L]

Various terrible ideas:
Explosive diarrhea. Literally. If you get it, it causes you to shit out potassium and water.
Meat golems. They are basically the golem version of zombies. Also, they smell really bad, which means they generate massive quantities of miasma.
Egg people. You can make egg people by injecting strange reagent into an egg. They gib into egg splats if hit with a hard object.
Gay donuts. They are donuts that, if consumed, turn the eater into a naked man covered in rainbow paint.
Shityourpantsium. It turns the lower portion of your jumpsuit brown if ingested. If overdosed, your organs fall out of your asshole and you die instantly.