by Falamazeer » Tue Aug 16, 2016 1:07 am
#203680
I work with the elderly as a male in a predominately female oriented field. Don't panic, no sexism intended to be incoming (if it does sorry ahead of time, white/cis/male just venting)
a bit ago I was given many many odd looks after I volunteered for the less than pleasant task of 'deathcare' for an elder who moved on, A very beloved elder who passed unexpectadly and was much much beloved in our community, they were'nt even assigned to me, but I tried to be strong because I forsaw that my coworkers wouldn't be able to cope, unfortunately The nurse insisted I not be alone, and told me to find a coworker to assist me, Even more unfortunately the 'event' and it's rumors had spread like wildfire and many of my coworkers were already in the throes of grief for it and I couldn't find anyone I felt comfortable asking to be my partner... so I made my egregious mistake of returning to my nurse empty handed and once again proclaiming how OK I am taking care of this on my own, flying solo if you will and that's when my problems began.
my nurse eventually procurred an emotionally strong cna who would assist me, despite my intentions to spare the rest of the community. once the unfortunate parts of the care were done i thought my trial was over, but now despite my attempted (and successful in the past) chivalry I'm treated as one of the 'care partners' who doesn't actually care, based on my ability to handle and internalize it.
Being a stoic has bit me in the ass, so now, this long later, people expect me to be the 'deathcare' guy for our facility, while hating me as the guy who doesn't care underneath it all.
I'm fucked. that kind of stigma cannot go away, and my best of intentions bit me in the ass, I can be 'the lift guy' used as the fastest safest way of transporting people from bed to chair or chair to wheelchair, my primary focus, while also despised as a piece of shit to my coworkers for not breaking down into tears when someone stubs their toe.
My effeminate male co-workers don't have this problem because they have the right idea, when shit 'gets real' they are the first to, as the brittish say, 'have kittens' over it, but Me, I try to spare them the pain, and I'm the bad guy... Fuck!
Ham Sammich, beating a dead horse since 2010.
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