ye flask

[bandit]

but dennis is an obvious exit

[Qbopper]

you decide to ignore the voices in your head until one of them contributes to your quest to retrieve ye flask

EDIT: to clarify I appreciate the reference but dennis is not an obvious exit

nor is not dennis

[bandit]

take inventory

[Qbopper]

take inventory

you have:

lit, filled lamp
half full oil flask
flint
shitty bent nail

there is also some shitty dried up boards lying around from the door you smashed

[Anonmare]

stick your wooden plank in the seam of the door, get a runner up from across the room and kick it.

you try to lodge a plank into the seam between the door and frame to do some flying jump kick shit

there's not really enough room to wedge something into the space, though, so you just try the flying kick to make yourself feel better

the door doesn't budge

Turn door handle AND then push it

[Qbopper]

Turn door handle AND then push it

you get the smart idea to turn the knob before pushing the door

it still doesn't budge, but it did seem to move a little bit more than before

[Wyzack]

Douse door in remaining oil. Strike flint off bent nail to make sparks and ignite it. Time to burn our way out boys

This post was deleted by Armhulen on Sat Jun 10, 2017 8:24 pm.
Reason: WYZACJ GIVES ME HOPE

[bman]

Douse door in remaining oil. Strike flint off bent nail to make sparks and ignite it. Time to burn our way out boys

are you trying to burn the metal door with oil

[Armhulen]

OH

BURN THE FUCKING WOOD WITH THE OIL YOU FOOLS

[Qbopper]

are you trying to burn the metal door with oil

you go back to the solid door

it's made of ... wood

:thinking:

Douse door in remaining oil. Strike flint off bent nail to make sparks and ignite it. Time to burn our way out boys

OH

BURN THE FUCKING WOOD WITH THE OIL YOU FOOLS

do you guys mean the wooden door or the planks on the window

[factoryman942]

Burn the wall

[bman]

BURN THE HOUSE TO THE FUCKING GROUND.

[Qbopper]

Burn the wall

BURN THE HOUSE TO THE FUCKING GROUND.

the voices in your head begin to cry out for blood arson and property damage

you consider fulfilling their wishes for a moment until realizing that the walls appear to be made of stone

[factoryman942]

Lightly scorch the wall then

[bandit]

turn the knob then try to shove the door open using the loose boards as leverage

[Qbopper]

Lightly scorch the wall then

you hold the lamp up to the wall in an attempt to appease your inner pyromaniac

it doesn't do much

turn the knob then try to shove the door open using the loose boards as leverage

despite the door feeling a little bit more loose when you turn the knob and push, there's still not enough room to jam something between it and the doorframe

[bandit]

I meant use the boards as a battering ram/extra force to push with

[Qbopper]

I meant use the boards as a battering ram/extra force to push with

whoops sorry

you grab a plank and start pushing the door as hard as you can, but it doesn't want to move

[John_Oxford]

take the bent rusty nail and examine it

if its shitty soft nail, take the nail and place it between the door frame and bend it to where its easy to use the head of the nail as a flathead screwdriver
- if its a hardcore rusted unmovable nail, run around in circles for a bit, building up a sweat, then take off your shirt and use the parts of your arm pit thats doused in sweat to hold the bend point on the nail, then use some of the dry and less sweaty portions of your shirt to hold it behind the sweaty portion, then hold the nail over the flame on the lamp untill the bend point is red hot, then bend it appropriately, quench it with your spit to harden it once you've done this.

use some of the oil from the oil flask on the hinges of the metal door to lubricate the screws holding it

take off your shirt and tear a strip from the bottom, wrap the strip around the back of the screw to gain more leverage and not damage your hands as much

attempt to turn the screw holding the hinges to the metal door

if the door doesn't have hinges punch yourself in the mouth for wasting so much time without bothering to look and see if the door had hinges with screws holding them on

(im sorry guy's you've been in the same fucking room for a day now come on step your shit up)

[Qbopper]

trying too hard

your elaborate plan is ruined when you realize that this is some shitty medieval house and screws aren't a thing

also there was another valid plan someone else had but when I asked people to specify if they wanted to try lighting the door or window boards on fire no one responded

[bandit]

"AI open Law 2"

[Qbopper]

"AI open Law 2"

the voices are getting worse

[bandit]

test the door for any weak areas

[Qbopper]

test the door for any weak areas

you give the door another once over, but it's well made and you won't be able to bash it down

[Armhulen]

WINDOW BOARDS

[Limey]

Figure out why I want ye flask and how far I'm willing to go for it

What do I have to become?

[Armhulen]

Figure out why I want ye flask and how far I'm willing to go for it

What do I have to become?

change it back right fucking now

[Limey]

Figure out why I want ye flask and how far I'm willing to go for it

What do I have to become?

change it back right fucking now

not fucking happening

[Qbopper]

Figure out why I want ye flask and how far I'm willing to go for it

What do I have to become?

a voice in your head begins to question why you would want ye flask

you quickly silence it

get ye flask

WINDOW BOARDS

this voice is probably on to something

not that you'd know because all it said was "WINDOW BOARDS"

it's probably like the monkey with a typewriter theory, it happened to spout something relevant

[Limey]

Light the window boards on fire

[Qbopper]

Light the window boards on fire

taking the flask of oil, you pour it as best you can over the boarded up window and try to hold the lamp's flame to it

it catches and begins to burn

you've probably got a minute to kill

[Anonmare]

Light the window boards on fire

taking the flask of oil, you pour it as best you can over the boarded up window and try to hold the lamp's flame to it

it catches and begins to burn

you've probably got a minute to kill

Consider the job benefits to being thy dungeonman

[Qbopper]

Consider the job benefits to being thy dungeonman

pros:

-ye flask

cons:

-hard to get ye flask

the boards look like they're beginning to properly catch

what do you do

[Armhulen]

twiddle my thumbs and try to imitate a frog

[Qbopper]

twiddle my thumbs and try to imitate a frog

you try to croak as if you were a frog

you inhale a whiff of acrid smoke from the window

it's burning pretty well

[Armhulen]

do a lil jig

[Qbopper]

do a lil jig

you do a little dance

the planks have burned off and you're mildly confident that you can climb through without lighting yourself on fire

what do you do

[Armhulen]

look through

[Qbopper]

look through

you can't see everything immediately, but

the backyard is covered with tiles - weeds have begun to poke through the cracks

there is a huge stone wall surrounding the backyard - ivy has begun to grow on it

there's no good footholds, the ivy is young and weak, and the wall is very tall, so you're probably not making your way over it

you see a shed in the corner of the yard

what do you do

[Armhulen]

will this fall incapacitate me?

[Qbopper]

will this fall incapacitate me?

you tell me

[Armhulen]

hop on through and head towards the shed

[Qbopper]

hop on through and head towards the shed

you climb on through, avoiding self immolation

you note a cellar door in the other corner connected to the house

there's also a fountain directly in front of you that i forgot to describe you didn't see

there's a bird's nest on the roof of the shed

the door to the shed is ajar

what do you do

[Armhulen]

I see shed. I enter shed.

[Qbopper]

I see shed. I enter shed.

you push the door open

a bird flutters out a small hole in the roof

there is a rake inside

what do you do

[Armhulen]

acquire rake, destroy bird's nest.

[bandit]

Search the fountain for coins or some shit

[Qbopper]

acquire rake, destroy bird's nest.

you get rake

you shamelessly beat the shit out of the birds nest with the rake (awkwardly)

an egg falls out and shatters on the ground

that's a fucking fetus you just killed

Search the fountain for coins or some shit

you go to the fountain wondering what fucking crazed personality in your head would make you do something like that

as you approach you can see that it is filled with murky green water\

that shit's probably been building up algae and shit for years, if you stick your hand in it'll probably be like a goddamn pile of dirt

do it anyways y/n

[Armhulen]

acquire rake, destroy bird's nest.

you get rake

you shamelessly beat the shit out of the birds nest with the rake (awkwardly)

an egg falls out and shatters on the ground

that's a fucking fetus you just killed

Search the fountain for coins or some shit

you go to the fountain wondering what fucking crazed personality in your head would make you do something like that

as you approach you can see that it is filled with murky green water\

that shit's probably been building up algae and shit for years, if you stick your hand in it'll probably be like a goddamn pile of dirt

do it anyways y/n

DO IT