HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's inventory

General SS13 Chat
Post Reply
huehuehue
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:52 am
Byond Username: Huehuehue1

HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's inventory

Post by huehuehue » #325326

y'know, so he doesn't start a greytide and get his ass jobbanned
yes, i'm speaking from experience
don't h8 me for it
also woo first post
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
HoP ALL ACCESS GUIDELINES
By the HoP.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU'RE A MEMBER OF SECURITY OR YOU ARE A HEAD OF A DEPARTMENT
You are all good.
Just try not to damage stuff.
(note:security officers don't get "true" all-access, as they can't get into command areas. that goes to the detective. sorry guys.)
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU'RE NOT SECURITY/NOT A HEAD OF A DEPARTMENT
Do something that says you DESERVE to get all access.
You are simply not trustworthy otherwise.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU'RE AN ASSISTANT
No.
Just no.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU'RE PLANNING ON GREYTIDING/RIOTING

Fuck you.
I hope your family dies. I hope you have to read Woody's got Wood. I hope you get tortured endlessly by Nar-Sie. I hope the Syndicate takes you as their prisoner and makes you rot for all eternity. I hope you get raped endlessly. I hope you are forced to got to Clown Hell. I hope you have everything you know and love taken from you.
Throw yourself out the airlock and make yourself useful. You're a waste of resources and air.
Fuck.
You.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU'RE A XENO RACE
You unfortunately can't just waltz in and be like "HURR DURR I"M DA CAPTAIN NOW HUR DURR", as "liggers" as they are called(or "gasheads") can't be in any heads of any department due to Nanotrasen law. Sorry.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE SYNDICATE, BLOOD CULT, CLOCKWORK CULT, ETC. AND ARE WORKING AGAINST THE STATION
Please go away.
You make me uncomfortable.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU'RE A XENO, SPIDER, ETC. AND YOU WANT TO MAKE MORE FOR YOUR BUDDIES
Ha Ha! You can't use the terminal! NYAH NYAH NYEH NYAH NYAAAAH!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE SYNDICATE, BLOOD CULT, CLOCKWORK CULT, ETC. AND ARE WORKING AGAINST THE STATION AND I'M DEAD
Same deal as above.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU'RE A MEMBER OF THE SYNDICATE, BLOOD CULT, CLOCKWORK CULT, ETC. AND ARE WORKING AGAINST THE STATION AND I'M DEAD AND YOU HAVE MY ID CARD/MY ID CARD IS STILL IN THE MACHINE
Congrats.
You can make your buddies all access passes for days.
Are you happy with yourself?
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU'RE EITHER THE CLOWN OR THE MIME AND YOU'RE NOT A TRAITOR
Read the assistants section.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU'RE THE CAPTAIN AND YOU'RE LOOKING FOR AN ALL-ACCESS PASS FOR SOME REASON
Bruh.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU JUST STUMBLED UPON MY CORPSE AND MY CARD IS STILL IN THE MACHINE
There are 2 things to consider here:
If you are an assistant sabotaging:
Look at the greytiders section of this.
If you're not:
Please don't hand these things out like candy.
if i'm dead, shit's probably hit the fan(or security came over and beat my ass for whatever reason) and spamming all access cards will only heighten the chaos.
You CAN, however, give yourself all access. I'm fine with that.
Hell, you could even take my place.
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU'RE IAN
Who's a cute lil doggo YOU IS! YESH YOU ISH!
Oh, does the lil doggo want a all-access pass?
Sit!
Staay`!
GOOD BOY! Here, catch!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU'VE READ THIS TO THE VERY BOTTOM AND READ EVERY WORD
Congrats! You deserve a good promotion of your choice!
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
IF YOU DIDN'T AND YOU JUST SKIMMED
No promotion for you.
Not sorry.
Last edited by huehuehue on Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:36 pm, edited 2 times in total.
feem wrote:wtf i like fwooshposts now
Gun Hog
Joined: Sat Apr 19, 2014 5:19 am
Byond Username: Gun Hog

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by Gun Hog » #325346

IF YOU'RE EITHER THE CLOWN OR THE MIME AND YOU'RE NOT A TRAITOR
If you promise not to either annoy the hell out of everyone or build invisible walls everywhere, it's all yours.
I request that you amend this to fit under the "Assistant" section. Honkscum do not deserve all-access any more than average greyscum. I am quite sick of having to abandon my job to deal with the dang clown printing off and stealing expensive stuff, leaving R&D with nothing. It sucks even more because honkscum tend to be robust, veteran players that will easily defeat you in combat. When he wins, he will take MORE stuff as punishment for trying to stop him.
User avatar
DemonFiren
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:15 pm
Byond Username: DemonFiren

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by DemonFiren » #325432

>handing out all-access to security
>handing out all-access to fellow headstaff
You disgust me.
Image
Image
Image
ImageImageImageImageImage

non-lizard things:
Spoiler:
Image
Reece
Joined: Tue Dec 08, 2015 7:02 pm
Byond Username: Reece1995

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by Reece » #325459

Secirity should get standard department access rather than all. Detective should get all.
huehuehue
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:52 am
Byond Username: Huehuehue1

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by huehuehue » #325487

DemonFiren wrote:>handing out all-access to security
>handing out all-access to fellow headstaff
You disgust me.
They are the more...
ahem
"trustworthy" staff of the station.
Gun Hog wrote:I request that you amend this to fit under the "Assistant" section. Honkscum do not deserve all-access any more than average greyscum. I am quite sick of having to abandon my job to deal with the dang clown printing off and stealing expensive stuff, leaving R&D with nothing. It sucks even more because honkscum tend to be robust, veteran players that will easily defeat you in combat. When he wins, he will take MORE stuff as punishment for trying to stop him.
Oh, so no access for them?
k.
Reece wrote:*Security should get standard department access rather than all. Detective should get all.
So, give security all but command access, and give detective all?
Gotcha.
Last edited by huehuehue on Thu Aug 10, 2017 2:35 pm, edited 1 time in total.
feem wrote:wtf i like fwooshposts now
Hatfish
Joined: Sat Mar 19, 2016 3:25 am
Byond Username: Hatfish

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by Hatfish » #325489

Here, some more concise guidelines:

Is there a threat to the station that could possibly result in its destruction or the death of its crew(IE: a blob, ops, a strong cult, etc.)?
  • Yes: Hand out extended access to trustworthy (heads, security, implanted) crewmen.
  • No: Don't hand out all access you idiot.
User avatar
Cobby
Code Maintainer
Joined: Sat Apr 19, 2014 7:19 pm
Byond Username: ExcessiveUseOfCobby
Github Username: ExcessiveUseOfCobblestone

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by Cobby » #325491

Would you do this (give sec all access) if sec could be traitor?
Voted best trap in /tg/ 2014-current
User avatar
Lazengann
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 2:26 pm
Byond Username: Lazengann

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by Lazengann » #325493

So if you kill an officer, you not only get a rad disguise and the nigh unstoppable taser, but you get all access? Not the greatest system you have.
User avatar
Cobby
Code Maintainer
Joined: Sat Apr 19, 2014 7:19 pm
Byond Username: ExcessiveUseOfCobby
Github Username: ExcessiveUseOfCobblestone

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by Cobby » #325494

Wait a minute aren't you that guy Alph jobbanned from hop yesterday >.>
Voted best trap in /tg/ 2014-current
huehuehue
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:52 am
Byond Username: Huehuehue1

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by huehuehue » #325500

ExcessiveCobblestone wrote:Would you do this (give sec all access) if sec could be traitor?
Lazengann wrote:So if you kill an officer, you not only get a rad disguise and the nigh unstoppable taser, but you get all access? Not the greatest system you have.
These are kinda meant to be guidelines for newbz(on both sides), hence why it doesn't mention the more complicated stuff.
ExcessiveCobblestone wrote:Wait a minute aren't you that guy Alph jobbanned from hop yesterday >.>
...yes.
First time i was warned:Did it intentionally, trying to be nice.
Second time i was warned and temporarily jobbanned: I was trying to be more restricted and i didn't hand it out to assistants(plus i was doing my job correctly otherwise). They got their hands on it anyway. I was jobbanned. I will serve my sentence. End of story.
feem wrote:wtf i like fwooshposts now
User avatar
Lazengann
Joined: Sat Feb 25, 2017 2:26 pm
Byond Username: Lazengann

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by Lazengann » #325501

New players shouldn't be playing HoP in the first place
User avatar
FantasticFwoosh
Joined: Mon May 04, 2015 11:25 pm
Byond Username: FantasticFwoosh

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by FantasticFwoosh » #325503

How passive (or not even passive) aggressive can you be when you literally code in a note to spawn in someones job inventory that says
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOUR ACCESS
DON'T BE A MORON
because nobody IC or OOC enforces the actions of HOP's enough to not cause regular drama from mismanagement?

Spoiler:
Image
Image
User avatar
Cobby
Code Maintainer
Joined: Sat Apr 19, 2014 7:19 pm
Byond Username: ExcessiveUseOfCobby
Github Username: ExcessiveUseOfCobblestone

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by Cobby » #325659

FantasticFwoosh wrote:How passive (or not even passive) aggressive can you be when you literally code in a note to spawn in someones job inventory that says
FUCK YOU
FUCK YOUR ACCESS
DON'T BE A MORON
because nobody IC or OOC enforces the actions of HOP's enough to not cause regular drama from mismanagement?
what does this mean
Voted best trap in /tg/ 2014-current
User avatar
FantasticFwoosh
Joined: Mon May 04, 2015 11:25 pm
Byond Username: FantasticFwoosh

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by FantasticFwoosh » #325733

HOP should not be the central seat of power for all ID card functions, it should require the heads to add on additional job areas (xenobiology & toxins for instance) from their respective departmental consoles. Since those can also demote their local area (scientist being extremely shit, IC eject them from science, demote the card from RD office, throw them out.)
  • There should be a special command-staff console on the bridge for outputting command esque access respectively, with bridge being the only accessible command access initially from HOP computer, also severely nerfs the PDA portable to only having HOP functions.

If you want all access you have to run through different consoles, OR steal a existing all access (and/or dupe that with a agent card) and hence HOP's getting dunked early in the round/id looted is negated in severity and local heads get more power to manage their staff.

Spoiler:
Image
Image
User avatar
Drynwyn
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 5:09 pm
Byond Username: Drynwyn

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by Drynwyn » #325827

>Giving Sec all access because "dey can't be antagz!!!111!!!"

Antag-immune security was a mistake.
In game, I play the A.I Firmware, the French cyborg C.U.R.I.E, Aubrie Allen, and the lizard scum Skulks-Through-Maintenance.
Reece
Joined: Tue Dec 08, 2015 7:02 pm
Byond Username: Reece1995

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by Reece » #325918

huehuehue wrote:
Reece wrote:*Security should get standard department access rather than all. Detective should get all.
So, give security all but command access, and give detective all?
Gotcha.
No.

Generic all access, as in all civillian level access to the kitchen, garden, botany, etc.

Then all basic department access to engineering foyer, science, medical and security. But the individual departments such as virology remain sealed.
User avatar
FantasticFwoosh
Joined: Mon May 04, 2015 11:25 pm
Byond Username: FantasticFwoosh

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by FantasticFwoosh » #325934

Its still not a good idea because of how easy it is to drop a officer.

That and it only encourages meta-gamers & shitcurity in sec to force access to these areas, seize all the dangerous/meta requirement goods for themselves and destroy the privacy of staff who work there. If you want a door-opener ask the AI or a borg.

Spoiler:
Image
Image
User avatar
imblyings
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 5:42 pm
Byond Username: Ausops
Location: >using suit sensors

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by imblyings » #325945

>there are officers who play the game without carrying tools and knowing the wires

if you can't even do basic assistantry how can they expect to be a good officer??
The patched, dusty, trimmed, feathered mantle of evil +13.
User avatar
FantasticFwoosh
Joined: Mon May 04, 2015 11:25 pm
Byond Username: FantasticFwoosh

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by FantasticFwoosh » #325956

imblyings wrote:>there are officers who play the game without carrying tools and knowing the wires

if you can't even do basic assistantry how can they expect to be a good officer??
Not asking a AI or a engineer to do it safely with gloves, greyshirts wearing red breaking into areas etc etc. The CE has a blatent chart of wirecolors they could probably just notekeeper a paper memo of to show to others later like imparting that knowledge on other heads.

Image

Spoiler:
Image
Image
User avatar
NikNakFlak
In-Game Admin
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2014 5:08 pm
Byond Username: NikNakflak

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by NikNakFlak » #326036

This is not an idea, moving
User avatar
danno
Joined: Wed Apr 16, 2014 5:07 pm
Byond Username: Dannno
Location: e-mail me if you want a pizza roll

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by danno » #326068

I cannot comprehend the purpose of this thread
Hornygranny wrote: wtf i like danno now
Image
I don't even play ss13 anymore, pretty much due to dannos stupid bullshit
User avatar
Ricotez
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2014 9:21 pm
Byond Username: Ricotez
Location: The Netherlands

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by Ricotez » #326815

>doing your job as a HoP
MimicFaux wrote:I remember my first time, full of wonderment and excitement playing this game I had heard so many stories about.
on the arrival shuttle, I saw the iconic toolbox on the ground. I clubbed myself in the head with it trying to figure out the controls.
Setting the tool box, now bloodied, back on the table; I went to heal myself with a medkit. I clubbed myself in the head with that too.
I've come a long ways from asking how to switch hands.
Spoiler:
#coderbus wrote:<MrPerson> How many coders does it take to make a lightbulb? Three, one to make it, one to pull the pull request, and one to fix the bugs
Kor wrote:The lifeweb playerbase is primarily old server 2 players so technically its our cancer that invaded them
peoplearestrange wrote:Scared of shadows whispers in their final breath, "/tg/station... goes on the tabl..."
DemonFiren wrote:Please, an Engineer's first response to a problem is "throw it into the singulo".
tedward1337 wrote:Donald Trump is literally what /pol/ would look like as a person
CrunchyCHEEZIT wrote:why does everything on this server have to be a federal fucking issue.
Saegrimr wrote:One guy was running around popping hand tele portals down in the halls before OPs even showed up and got several stranded out on lavaland.
The HoP just toolboxes someone to death out of nowhere, then gets speared by a chemist who saw him murder a guy, then the chemist gets beaten to death because someone else saw him kill the HoP.
Tele-man somehow dies and gets its looted by an atmos tech who managed to use it to send two nuke ops to lavaland, who were then surrounded by several very angry people from earlier and some extra golems on top of it.
Captain dies, gets cloned/revived, lasers the guy holding the disk into crit to take it back.
Some idiot tries to welderbomb the AI hiding out at mining for no discernible reason.
Two permabans and a dayban, i'm expecting a snarky appeal from one of them soon. What the fuck.
ShadowDimentio wrote:I am the problem
User avatar
FantasticFwoosh
Joined: Mon May 04, 2015 11:25 pm
Byond Username: FantasticFwoosh

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by FantasticFwoosh » #326818

Ricotez wrote:job ... HoP

Spoiler:
Image
Image
User avatar
kevinz000
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2014 8:41 am
Byond Username: Kevinz000
Github Username: kevinz000
Location: Dorm Room 3

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by kevinz000 » #326842

Why do you even pretend you know how the hop should function?
This is why you're banned .
User avatar
kevinz000
Joined: Fri Nov 14, 2014 8:41 am
Byond Username: Kevinz000
Github Username: kevinz000
Location: Dorm Room 3

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by kevinz000 » #326843

Not a SINGLE FUCKING PERSON OTHER THAN THE CAPTAIN has roundstart all access, and for good reason.
No, heads of staff neither deserve nor require AA roundstart without a very good reason.
No, security neither deserves nor requires AA roundstart without a very good reason.
No, YOU neither deserve nor require all access roundstart without a very good reason and I've seen and brigged hops myself for that if they choose to be an asshole with it.
No, you getting banned for derailing rounds repeatedly doesn't mean you should come and rant about how hop the position you were banned from should be played by others.
User avatar
Armhulen
Global Moderator
Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2016 4:30 pm
Byond Username: Armhulenn
Github Username: bazelart
Location: The Grand Tournament

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by Armhulen » #326853

the only reason i play warden is so i can catch all access hop's armoring up in the armory roundstart and blast them to death with my shotty as they say "WARDEN ROUGE" or "I HAVE ACCESS WAIT"
User avatar
FantasticFwoosh
Joined: Mon May 04, 2015 11:25 pm
Byond Username: FantasticFwoosh

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by FantasticFwoosh » #326854

Roll HOP to just be a all access greyshirt standing in for a captain that might already be present 24/7 before going through the captains personal locker to steal their clothes/objects and raiding the armory/sec for stuff in order to secure the best station side meta-gear. #JustHoPThings

[youtube]-dJolYw8tnk[/youtube]

Spoiler:
Image
Image
User avatar
Cobby
Code Maintainer
Joined: Sat Apr 19, 2014 7:19 pm
Byond Username: ExcessiveUseOfCobby
Github Username: ExcessiveUseOfCobblestone

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by Cobby » #326860

kevinz000 wrote:Not a SINGLE FUCKING PERSON OTHER THAN THE CAPTAIN has roundstart all access, and for good reason.
No, heads of staff neither deserve nor require AA roundstart without a very good reason.
No, security neither deserves nor requires AA roundstart without a very good reason.
No, YOU neither deserve nor require all access roundstart without a very good reason and I've seen and brigged hops myself for that if they choose to be an asshole with it.
No, you getting banned for derailing rounds repeatedly doesn't mean you should come and rant about how hop the position you were banned from should be played by others.
Rude dude here

Where is his ball of reactive teleporting yarn
Voted best trap in /tg/ 2014-current
User avatar
danno
Joined: Wed Apr 16, 2014 5:07 pm
Byond Username: Dannno
Location: e-mail me if you want a pizza roll

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by danno » #326862

haha damn kev is pissed?
Hornygranny wrote: wtf i like danno now
Image
I don't even play ss13 anymore, pretty much due to dannos stupid bullshit
User avatar
bandit
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2014 7:35 pm
Byond Username: Bgobandit

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by bandit » #327632

what if you're lisa/runtime/poly/another pet
"I don't see any difference between ERP and rape." -- erro

admin feedback pls
huehuehue
Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2017 3:52 am
Byond Username: Huehuehue1

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by huehuehue » #327749

Wow.
Lotsa shiz happened while i buggered off.
Anyways...
bandit wrote:what if you're lisa/runtime/poly/another pet
¯\_(ツ)_/¯
kevinz000 wrote:Not a SINGLE FUCKING PERSON OTHER THAN THE CAPTAIN has roundstart all access, and for good reason.
No, heads of staff neither deserve nor require AA roundstart without a very good reason.
No, security neither deserves nor requires AA roundstart without a very good reason.
No, YOU neither deserve nor require all access roundstart without a very good reason and I've seen and brigged hops myself for that if they choose to be an asshole with it.
No, you getting banned for derailing rounds repeatedly doesn't mean you should come and rant about how hop the position you were banned from should be played by others.
Well, whatever you think. I ain't against you here.
kevinz000 wrote:Why do you even pretend you know how the hop should function?
This is why you're banned .
Apologies, but i'm not trying to pretend. Again, whatever you think.
danno wrote:I cannot comprehend the purpose of this thread
At the moment i'm typing this, neither can i.


I'll just leave this thread open for people(me included now) to laugh at.
Looking over some of the stuff i mentioned, now they seem ridiculous.
...
Ok, well, not ALL of them are ridiculous, but you get what i mean.
Anyways, now i shall bugger off for a long while and maybe come back once in a while to see what happened.
Bye.
feem wrote:wtf i like fwooshposts now
User avatar
Armhulen
Global Moderator
Joined: Thu Apr 28, 2016 4:30 pm
Byond Username: Armhulenn
Github Username: bazelart
Location: The Grand Tournament

Re: HoP all access guidelines that could be in HoP's invento

Post by Armhulen » #327750

Yeah beat him up!

Wait, I missed it?
Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: Bing [Bot]