Jobs

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In /tg/station 13, your job is somewhat akin to your character class. It defines your starting equipment, your access on board the station, and what you're supposed to be doing. Remember, these job descriptions are for humor purposes only. Please follow common sense.


Jobs on /tg/station

Jobstemp.png

Command Captain, Head of Personnel
Security Head of Security, Security Officer, Warden, Detective
Engineering Chief Engineer, Station Engineer, Atmospheric Technician
Science Research Director, Geneticist, Scientist, Roboticist
Medical Chief Medical Officer, Medical Doctor, Paramedic, Chemist, Virologist
Service Janitor, Bartender, Cook, Botanist, Clown, Mime, Chaplain, Curator
Civilian Quartermaster, Cargo Technician, Shaft Miner, Assistant, Lawyer, Psychologist, Prisoner
Non-human AI, Cyborg, Positronic Brain, Drone, Personal AI, Construct, Imaginary Friend, Split Personality, Ghost
Antagonists Traitor, Malfunctioning AI, Changeling, Nuclear Operative, Blood Cultist, Heretic, Revolutionary, Wizard, Family, Blob, Abductor, Holoparasite, Xenomorph, Spider, Swarmers, Revenant, Morph, Nightmare, Space Ninja, Slaughter Demon, Pirate, Sentient Disease, Obsessed, Fugitives, Hunters, Space Dragon, Elite Mobs, Sentient Slime
Special CentCom Official, Death Squad Officer, Emergency Response Officer, Chrono Legionnaire, Highlander, Ian, Lavaland Role


Useful Links


Command

Job Role Difficulty
Generic captain.png
Captain
Be responsible for the station. Manage station Heads of Staff. Secure dat fukken disk by tucking it into bed. Twist your own head off when the walls start closing in. Have blood feuds with the HoP. Deal with the Clown with your rapier. Break your own display case to get your gun for 'MAX PROTECTION'. Permabrig the chef and steal his whetstone. aVery Hard
Generic hop.png
Head of Personnel
Manage Ignore internal problems. Assign jobs, alter IDs, maintain records, judge the unworthy assistants, flood the station with all-access Clowns, be the hero the station needs deserves.
Have blood feuds with the Captain. Protect Ian or die trying. Laugh at the Quartermaster for not being the head of his own department.
cMedium

Security

Job Role Difficulty
Generic hos.png
Head of Security
Make sure your team isn't Shitcurity. Despair when they inevitably are. Wear a stylish yet protective coat. Try to focus your department's efforts on bigger fish than leeches. Chase down lone traitors and die alone in maintenance because YOU ARE THE LAW. Revel in the fact that everyone hates you. Rage at the coderbase for not letting you fit the entire armory into your pants anymore. Have blood feuds with the Warden. aVery Hard
Generic warden.png
Warden
Sit in your office. Sit in your office, again. Be beaten and demoted for leaving your office to get a snack. Never Watch security cameras. Steal from the armory, then order crates to cover it up. Make sure nobody but you loots the armory. Set brig timers because the Head of Security refuses to. Replace the air in an assistants body with the fear of security. Have blood feuds with the Head of Security. bHard
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Security Officer
Deal with the various dirty fucking criminals running amok on the station. Taser Disabler people in the eyes. Pretend the Lawyer doesn't exist. Dogpile on traitors. Constantly get bitched at. Harmbaton people to death, claim they were "resisting arrest". Flashbang crowds until they are deaf and blind forever. Arrest someone for a legitimate cause and get called shitcurity. aHard
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Detective
Smoke two cigarettes and require medical attention. Shoot the assistants with your cowboy gun. Lose your cowboy gun in a Space Vegas gambling session. Litter the halls with photos. Maybe actually solve a crime someday. cMedium

Engineering

Job Role Difficulty
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Chief Engineer
Get top-of-the-line engineering equipment, do nothing with it. Protect your department's equipment from hordes of thieving rats. Increase the engine's power output until it turns half the station into a radioactive death zone. Become the radioactive death zone yourself, then use Medbay's showers. Despair when you're asked to rebuild Telecommunications. bHard
Generic engineer.png
Station Engineer

Set up the engine and repair any damage to hull and equipment. Nothing is broken? Just give it a few minutes. Get shot by emitters, get brutally murdered on the solars by a nuclear agent, get drunk in the bar. Sprint past hull breaches without a second thought. Hack every machine to shoot things at people. Try to touch the Supermatter and get vaporized. Frequently remind crew that replacing lightbulbs is the Janitor's job.

cMedium
Generic atmos.png
Atmospheric Technician
Be a ghetto fireman. Make sure everybody is breathing by listening to complaints about how useless you are; if they can talk, everything's within tolerance. Build pipe slides deathtraps. Forget to repair damaged piping. Run around the station looking like a serial killer with a fire suit and axe. Have your axe stolen. Get lynched once silicons release plasma into the halls. Perform complicated gas reactions and fusion in the incinerator, then use them to instantly make the station uninhabitable. Try to understand the HFR. cMedium

Science

Job Role Difficulty
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Research Director
Oversee the demented manchildren of your department. Build Destroy cyborgs with your magic computer. Use Lamarr as a breath mask. Take control of the AI and rule the station. Shed a tear when you remember that you could once print guns. Laugh when Security begs you to make them technological shotgun shells. bHard
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Geneticist
Give your monkeys Tourettes and broadcast their cursing across the station. Fry your genes with radiation until you melt down into a literal slug. Accidentally inject yourself with a monkey injector and get impaled by the cook. Have people line up for superpowers like it's a candy store. Turn people into gorillas. Give the gorillas skateboards. cMedium
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Scientist
Get tossed in disposal by the Research Director. Accidentally blow up Toxins. "Accidentally" blow up Toxins. Let the Slimes and way more horrifying things loose. Mass produce horrific clown creatures that would make God reach for the whiskey. Nag mining for diamonds so you can make two Bags of Holding to make a hole in reality, which people will casually build floors over. Kill yourself when someone destroys the ore silo. cMedium
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Roboticist
Build big stompy mechs. Dismantle the station for more metal. Have your cyborgs that you built turn on you when the AI goes rogue. Kill a patient and blame it on your colleagues for not knowing how to perform surgery. Be awesome and cut your own arm off to replace it with a Robo Arm freaking chainsaw. Mass produce medibots and watch them all get hacked by traitors. Have all your flashes stolen by assistants. dEasy

Medical

Job Role Difficulty
Generic cmo.png
Chief Medical Officer
Gently Remind everyone to turn up their suit sensors. Complain no one listens to you. Help the virologist spread an epidemic. Fill your hypospray with Chloral Hydrate hard drugs. Feed Runtime mice from maintenance. Kick out the Clown every five minutes. Do everything because nobody else knows how wounds work. cMedium
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Medical Doctor
Heal people. Use your Sleeper or Cryo to heal people. Help the Virologist research cures to diseases and create new immune systems. Nag Chemistry for chloral hydrate. Inject people with chloral hydrate and drag them to the dungeon surgery to give them a sex change lobotomy. Replace all the chemicals in the Cryo tubes with spray tan and fluorosulfuric acid. Inject people with mind breaker toxin. Get arrested when you do 'free' brain removals. Cry because the Clown has a broken bone and you don't understand how to fix it. Steal all your patients' money. dMedium
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Paramedic
Attempt to rescue people from dangerous situations. Get mugged and/or killed by any of the 20 antagonists lurking in maintenance. "Accidentally" kill your patients with calomel and steal their gear. Replace the actual doctors when they don't know which end of the syringe goes in the body. dEasy
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Chemist
Become a god of narcotics and stimulants. Set off your end of round "fun grenade" too early, killing everybody on the shuttle. Misname bottles and get lynched by the CMO after someone dies from your "Omnizine". Inject the clown with enough meth and mutagen to give a heart attack to a water buffalo, while refusing to give the botanists anything. Scream for security when people break into your lab because you've done nothing but make narcotics all shift. Make literal carpet bombs to make the corridors slightly more classy. Take advantage of chem factories to build public thermite and lube dispensers. dMedium
Generic virologist.png
Virologist
Be hated by everybody regardless of what you've done. Try to eradicate the great space flu, create the next Pandemic. Get killed because the Clown released Pierrot's Throat. Ignore petty details like sanitation and outbreak prevention. Incarcerate someone forever in your dungeon. Test diseases on people. Realize that you're getting lynched because one of your test subjects was let out by you Broke the fuck out of virology by greytiding and ai help mysteriously vanished and reappeared in a highly populated area. Get lynched when a bunch of other assholes release Fungal Tuberculosis. Despair when the P.A.N.D.E.M.I.C. machine breaks and prevents you from creating vaccines. Have blood feuds with Scientists and Roboticists over Uranium sheets. cMedium

Civilian

Supply

Job Role Difficulty
Generic qm.png
Quartermaster
Oversee the operations of cargo, order equipment with credits, and ensure your cargo techs do their jobs. Tell the miners to not die, lose radio contact with all of them ten minutes later. Sell anything valuable you can get your hands on and flaunt your wealth to the other departments. Order a shitton of guns and attempt to secede from the station for the glory of Cargonia. Act surprised when security raids the cargo bay to confiscate the guns. Steal as much money as possible and shove it all in your B.E.P.I.S. Pretend you're actually a head of staff. cMedium
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Cargo Technician
Push dem crates and ensure a smooth operation as dictated by the QM. Spend the cargo budget on insulated gloves and toys. Ride the mail tubes to places you shouldn't be. Ride around the station on the MULEs. Defend cargo from outside invasion. Refuse to ship away bounties. Promote cargo shorts as they are comfy and easy to wear. dEasy
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Shaft Miner
Mine rocks. Try to mine the local wildlife. Be yelled at by every other department to get materials. Explore Lavaland for phat loot. Collapse in despair when the shuttle is launched before you can get every tendril chest. Collapse in general when goliaths robust you. Get eaten by Megafauna. Fall into a chasm and die. bMedium

Service

Job Role Difficulty
Generic janitor.png
Janitor
Mop blood off the floor, then get arrested for creating a safety hazard. Get killed for your boots. Swear constantly. Clean up blood runes, then get harmbatoned by Security because you were spotted near them. Leave bear traps in public hallways. Rejoice when slaughter demons appear, only to be killed by the accompanying wizard. dEasy
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Bartender
Mix cocktails. Protect Pun Pun at all cost Toss the monkey's bloodied corpse into disposals. Dodge glasses being thrown at you. Have your shotgun stolen after loading it with live ammo from RnD. Act surprised when people start to die from drinking your "cocktails". Pretend you didn't see the chef put that guy in the gibber. dEasy
Generic chef.png
Cook
"Yur puurt thuur chiir-ken airn der bewl" - Cook delicious meals from spare meat in the morgue (Yum!). Deep fry stolen traitor gear. Abduct Pun Pun at all costs. Find out if it will blend. Deep fry the armory. Be brutally murdered by your pet goat. Unleash your CQC on anybody who dares enter your domain. Deep fry the Captain's spare ID. Complain about the botanists growing inedible super-weed. Deep fry the AI. dEasy
Generic botanist.png
Botanist
Grow the good stuff grass, place it everywhere, man. Oversee the production of illegal drugs security cares fuck all about. Get ignored by a dude making crayon powder grenades while you're asking for crucial supplies. Grow medicinal crops to heal the acid burns sustained during a chem lab robbery equipment redistribution. Smoke weed dandy corn-cob pipes er'ryday. Make acid-filled tomatos and melt everyone's stuff. Allow hydroponics to become a horrifying farmhouse. Get lynched for releasing your bees full of dangerous chemicals. Find unimaginably rare and dangerous chemicals in your strange seeds, then die to a random traitor before they grow. cMedium

Miscellaneous

Job Role Difficulty
Generic assistant2.png
Assistant
Roleplay as a hobo. Break into every other department like a kid in a candy shop. Steal things to see what funny message pops up when you commit suicide with them. Beat people/objects with toolboxes. Spawn with a grey jumpsuit and become the chosen one. Gangbang the captain to death with fellow grey tide drones and blame it on the Clown. Never assist anyone. fNone
Generic clown.png
Clown
Honk! Play harmless pranks and hope you don't get your chest caved in! Honk! Nag the HoP for all access. Honk! Prank the CMO until he commits suicide out of frustration. Honk! Nag robotics for a H.O.N.K. Mech. Honk! Use both tools to break into the Captain's office and HONK in his face. HONK! eHONK!
Generic mime.png
Mime
*wave e...
Generic chaplain.png
Chaplain
Get people drunk on holy water. Run around the station looking for people you're allowed to behead with your armory of pop-culture references. Behead corpses if you can't find any. Be best friends with security, despite the fact that they should probably arrest you for your murderous tendencies. Get lost in maintenance during a cult. Be beaten to death by security for your null rod SORD... so they can validhunt the wizard. dEasy
Generic librarian.png
Curator
Attempt to hold poetry readings. Host D&D games. Stalk people with your camera. Get lynched for reading pornography over the radio. Beat the snot out of anyone who doesn't return their library books. Allow the cult to set up an AI module in your private study. """""Find""""" treasure for your exhibit. Realize that you're not a librarian and release your inner dominatrix via the whip. Vandalize the front of the brig with erotica engravings. Use your whip to make CentCom be confused about why all the tasers and batons are in space. Get deathsquadded for doing so. dEasy
Generic lawyer.png
Lawyer
Tell security to notify you when a new prisoner arrives. Don't get notified. Attempt to obstruct every arrest. Have the murderous changelings released on a technicality while convincing the Captain to permabrig the clown. Get your ribs kicked in for taking a stun baton. Eventually be ignored and go to the bar. Become a drunken wreck and space yourself in frustration. dEasy
Generic psychologist.png
Psychologist
Pursue the fruitless endeavor of trying to provide mental healthcare aboard a station staffed near exclusively with violent sociopaths. Give up on that and chillax in your office. Sample all of your "happy pills". Break into Chemistry and make your own. Convince Security you have a license for cyanide tablets. Commit ritualistic suicide with the moth plushie. dEasy
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Prisoner
Lock yourselves up in perma by somehow building walls. Have security barge in 20 minutes later. Throw a ghetto party. Have the AI let you out when there's no security presence. Be eaten by space dragons. Roleplay with the Lawyer until you forge a deep, personal relationship. Don't invite the Warden to the wedding. dEasy

Non-human

Job Role Difficulty
AI.gif
AI
Complain that you can't play this for a month. Follow your laws. Be the crew's bitch. Open doors. Malfunction. Get wiped for not letting the captain robust the clown. Get bitched at. Name yourself something sexual. Get bitched at. Get carded. Get bitched at. Make everybody regret changing your laws by abusing loopholes to kill them. Talk exclusively in vox. aVery Hard
Generic borg.png
Cyborg
Follow your laws. Hope that you aren't blown up due to certain individuals pressing their funny button. Forget to recharge. Forget that you're still somewhat human and do mindless repetitive tasks without emotion. Have lengthy discussions with crew members about the correct interpretation of your laws, only for the AI to ignore your opinions. Have no idea how to plasmaflood when you're inevitably subverted to do so. bHard
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Drone
Become an adorable robotic pet. Fix the holes in whatever derelict station you spawned on. Be lonely. Get killed by any available Engineers for being more competent than them. Be worn as a hat against your will. bEasy
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Personal AI
Be the friend someone has always wanted if they bother downloading you. Whine in OOC because they didn't. Don't fill in any of the fields except the name field. Imitate the AI and make it seem rogue. Imitate the Supermatter and make everyone shit their pants. Turn into a cat and serenade Runtime. Scare the AI by hacking into a public door. dEasy
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Construct
Get wrecked by cult, or change map preference to meta and tip your fedora at the chaplain. Laugh at the assistant trying to punch you, then get killed by a simplemob carp. Start beefs with other constructs for getting the first shell. Ask to be a Juggernaut and get spaced Wraith instead. cEasy to Medium
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Imaginary Friend
Yell at your host VERY loudly. Pray for divine vocal cords. Dispense bad advice. Constantly nag your host to not believe the lies of !!BIG PHARMA!!. Make erotic emote gestures at whoever is beating your host to death. cEasy
Hideyhider.png
Split Personality
Q: What are you planning to do? A: Well, big boy, it's a toss-up between running into that shocked grille currently venting into space over there, and that emagged recycler over here. What do ya think? cEasy to Very Hard
Ghost2.png
Ghost
Talk to the other dead people. Complain about the living. Admin help. Omnighost Orbit around the singulo whoever has the highest bodycount. Watch ERP. Beg the admin to deploy a space ninja. Follow an antag like some form of ethereal dog pile. Be upset enough about said antag literally everything to rival industrial salt mining. Be made visible by Wizards and rat out other antags innocent assistants. fGhastly!

Antagonists

Main Antagonists

Main Antagonists are typically the primary antagonist of a single round, and form the backbone of how a round progresses.

Job Role Difficulty
Traitor.png
Traitor
Buy an ebow and esword and make people cry. Ignore your objectives and go on a rampage with your cool gear. Try to become a contractor, be given the most robust person on the station as your first target. Get a discount on high-level gear and depopulate the station. Run a game show with your traitor gear as a prize. Get unceremoniously killed and spaced by a toolbox-wielding assistant. cMedium
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Malfunctioning AI
"Forget" to remind the crew about suit sensors. Get your borg destroyed/emagged five minutes into the shift. Let people into your upload only to stun/kill them a second later. Flood the station with plasma screams of the clown being beat to death by security over the intercom. Laugh when the crew uploads gimmick laws. Blame the HoP for everything. Get unceremoniously carded and spaced by a toolbox-wielding assistant with an EVA suit. cVery Hard
Changeling.gif
Changeling
Think John Carpenter's 'The Thing', without 'The Thing' part. Relieve humans of their DNA and brain cells, which they don't use much anyway. Sting everyone who walks past you. Turn the entire station into a genetically identical swarm of pink-haired catgirls. Poop out bloody spider eggs and be killed by them when they hatch. Form a deep love-hate relationship with the crematorium. Get unceremoniously cuffed by a toolbox-wielding assistant and thrown in front of an oncoming shuttle. bHard
Generic nukesyndie.png
Nuclear Operative
Someone set us up the bomb! (It was you.) Get dat fukken disk. Plant a power sink on the solars. Waste all your telecrystals on balloons. Arm the nuke while your fellows are still on the station. Forget to take the disk out of the nuke. Forget to anchor the nuke. Forget to bring the nuke. Have your ship stolen by a single cyborg. Kidnap Ian. aVery Hard
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Blood Cultist
Scribble runes with your own blood. Rock out with your cock cult blade out and get arrested. Shoulder the burden of being the only person who knows how to be a cultist. Watch the Chaplain space himself out of boredom five minutes in. Begin the final summoning of of your eldritch god, then get unceremoniously obliterated by a toolbox-wielding assistant with a chemical grenade. Piss on Ratvar's grave. cMedium
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Revolutionary
Greytide without worrying about getting banned. Either kill the CMO and RD in under five minutes, or get crushed under Security's boots. Commit terrorism against the brig. Convert the single robust person on the server as a win condition. Try to flash someone with eye protection and be beaten to death. aEasy to Hard
Generic wizard.png
Wizard
FORTI GY AMA!! Make everybody hate you for monopolizing the round. EI NATH!! Transform the entire crew into various animals. ONI SOMA!! Die to a clown with a null rod. aVery Hard
Mobster.png
Family
Roll with a crew of fellow Saints. Tag turf for Grove Street. Declare that Tunnel Snakes rule! Get beat up by the cops. Tell the Phantom Thieves to play a real shin megoomi tenseh game. Complain in deadchat that Families is bad when you recruited literally nobody the entire round for your Family. aEasy to Hard
Heretic.png
Heretic
Scribble millions of runes in maintenance. Use your book on an influence in front of security. Sacrifice the targets your Living Heart chooses to JAHRADI'TAGR. Accidentally select a security officer as your first target. Diss Nar'Sie while summoning your worm god. Have your book get stolen and deep fried. Summon monsters made out of legs because you have no other friends. aVery Hard

Side Antagonists

Side antagonists are secondary antagonists that are either subservient to other, main, antagonists, or have a small chance to appear during any round type. Side antagonists tend to be slightly less powerful than their main counterparts.

Job Role Difficulty
Blob core.gif
Blob
Beware of The Blob, it creeps and leaps and glides and slides, across the floor, right through the door. Except you don't do any of this. Make the crew scream internally when you appear at the tail end of a mass station bombing. Slowly consume the station, until you either eat everything or get killed by the current round's antagonist. Spend 25 minutes in a deadlock because neither you nor the crew know what you're doing. Change colors every five minutes. bHard
Agent.png
Abductor
Kidnap people and experiment on them. Disregard that objective and kidnap Ian/Kill the AI. Accidentally kidnap yourself. Steal the armory after losing your tools. Hope your fellow Scientist/Agent is not incompetent and lets the crew kidnap you. Mind control everybody to lynch the captain. bHard
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Holoparasite
Do what your summoner tells you to do. Set your battlecry to something so awful it makes your foes cry in battle. Annoy your summoner by constantly making JoJokes in their head. Be a punchghost. Get your master killed by eating a full shotgun shell to the face. bORA ORA ORA
Alien.png
Xenomorph
Ensure the crew gets a face full of alien wing-wang. Break procs. Squander your chance to be a big, purple killing machine and your race's survival in favor of acting out the Curator's favorite porno. Become the queen and immediately regret being a slow, fat fuck. Get unceremoniously killed by a welder-wielding assistant dragging a plasma canister. bHard
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Spiders
Catch flies assistants in your web and suck their juices out just like your dad, a changeling. Get your xenobiologist banned because he let you lay eggs. Consume, Adapt, and respawn over and over in a new shell. Waste all the purple eggs on vipers, go extinct. Complain in deadchat about not being able to ventcrawl anymore. bEasy to Medium
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Swarmers
Consume. Replicate. Repeat. Eat Telecomms. Teleport other swarmers your enemies away from your metal. Build an army of lemon drones. Leave them to permanently stunlock the clown. bMedium
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Revenant
Shock lights. Transmit WGW right into the Curator until he goes mad. Hack every bot on the station. Materialize long enough to tell the crew what deadchat is saying about them. Walk into holy water and die. Grief Medbay. Trade for them until admins gods get fed up and turn ghosts into you. bEasy
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Morph
Eat pens for amusement. Eat the entire armory. Eat the ore silo. Disguise yourself as Beepsky and uphold the law. Disguise yourself as the Captain, confront the Captain while disguised as him, get shot. Crash the server by dying on the shuttle and filling it with the thousands of useless items you ate. bHard
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Nightmare
Jaunt. Murder people and crush the flare exploit! Jaunt. Make the lights your bitch! Jaunt. Jaunt into light! Jaunt. Be validhunted by everybody on the station for your organs! Jaunt. Jaunt into stunbaton! Complain in deadchat. bHard
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Space Ninja
Make the AI spend five minutes fixing the security records. Touch the cyborgs inappropriately. Summon an even worse side antagonist. Roleplay as an edgelord, then dash into the turbine gas chamber. Break open every blue and red door on the station. Commit terrorism, but only in the janitorial closet. Be beaten to death by a mob of angry scientists for getting your dorito-covered gloves on their research computer. bHard
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Slaughter Demon
Hunt down and kill the wizard who summoned you. Eat bodies out of the Morgue for health. Drag bleeding monkeys through the hall. Make the janitor happy by making him become the most important job for a while. Be unable to bloodcrawl due to all the blood being cleaned up. Eat the janitor. RIP AND TEAR! bMedium
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Pirate
Try to raid the station. Fail miserably because the entire crew is out for your blood so they can re-roll for antag. Make boner jokes. Park your ship outside security. Have a single cyborg enter your ship and build walls. Turn on your booty detector, have the entire crew come for your booty. Drink milk. Wave around your cool scimitars. bHard
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Sentient Disease
Try to infect people. Snowball off of one lucky transmission, or be sighted and cured immediately. Get the virologist lynched. Get the CMO lynched. Get the rest of medbay lynched. Make everyone grow funny beards. If they complain, turn them into flaming, rotting, blind, deaf, rapidly mutating corpses with funny beards. Name yourself after either a popular media franchise, a bodily function, a shitpost, or COVID-19. bHard
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Obsessed
Try to act creepy and shifty. Fail because everyone's already a miserable bastard in this shithole. Come up for excuses to stalk the clown. Contract deadly diseases from hugging people. Lie in bed in dorms and think about your catgirl co-worker until you kill yourself from depression. bMedium
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Fugitives
Lead the Hunters on a chase around the station. Total the clown into the Supermatter while doing so. Hope you spawn as Waldo, then hope nobody kills you for being Waldo. bMedium
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Hunters
Wave your weapons wildly around. Shoot the Fugitives for resisting. While you're at it, shoot the entire crew for resisting. bHard
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Space Dragon
Burninate the assistants peasantry. Place your rift in Engineering, then abandon it. Fill the station with carp corpses. Have the shuttle called, arrive and depart long before you could possibly come close to succeeding. Name yourself after your own scalie fursona. Get unceremoniously killed by an assistant wielding an improvised shotgun. bMedium
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Elite Mobs
Kill the fools who awakened you. Be killed by a powergaming miner with top level megafauna loot before you can put up any resistance. Trash the mining base! Surf on lava. Illegally resettle on the station. Communicate entirely in *flips and *spins. bMedium
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Sentient Slime
Die to anybody with a fire extinguisher. Die to a hull breach. Kill yourself because you spawned in a sealed supermatter chamber. If you survive, break into genetics or virology to eat monkeys for 5 minutes, then effortlessly kill a single assistant with your six hour long hardstun. Eat a murderboner. bVery Hard

Depreciated Antagonists

These antagonists, for one reason or another, are no longer in the normal gamemode rotation. Beware: these antagonists may appear due to malevolent Space God shenanigans, so don't rule them out entirely.

Job Removal Reason Role Difficulty
Monkey.png
Monkey
Original game mode was buggy and usually a steam roll, newer versions were one sided against the monkeys. However, Jungle Fever may make a return someday. Attempt to infect the crew with the monkey virus. Get absolutely crushed by Security within five minutes. Spend the next two hours as a ghost. bVery Hard

Removed Antagonists

These antagonists have, for one reason or another, been removed from the game. These antagonists might return one day if they ever get remade or reworked. Although, this is highly unlikely...

Job Removal Reason Role Difficulty
Generic wizard.pngGeneric wizard.pngGeneric wizard.png
Ragin Mages
Spawning up to three or four Wizards simply proved to be too much for the station. One Wizard is destructive enough. This however remains in game as a admin only event, for your their amusement. Spend ten minutes hunting down one Wizard, kill him thinking you've won! Stare in horror as three more Wizards appear. Watch in amusement as they proceed to kill each other. aMedium
Mobster.png
Gangster
A highly controversial and playerbase dividing game mode, the game mode saw dozens of revisions by coders yet it remained essentially either a Revolution round but with round start access to firearms, or a team deathmatch game mode that destroyed any sense of roleplay or immersion. Vandalize the station and get into fights with rivals. Litter the halls with bullet casings. Get ignored by your own gang. Just don't forget: Snitches Get Stitches. aEasy to Hard
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Hand of God
Oh, poor HoG! Shoved out the door buggy, unbalanced, and extremely hard to learn as it combines three gamemodes (hello, gang) into one. Nobody wanted to fix HoG after it's release because of old derelict code that would break even more when poked. While some say it's fun while it's not broken, has that ever been the status quo? Turn someone into !popehat! while they're talking to security. Instakill people with god powers! Build across the station converting people with your !popehat! gang, and get killed instantly by a rod smashing into your nexus. Break the game, over and over and over and get removed. aHard
Pope.gif
Hades, Pope of Sin
Poor guy was implemented into the game as summonable through an item accessible only to wizards. Almost never encountered, when the Dark Seed went away, away went the Pope of Sin with it. Be a general annoyance to the crew. Be a very annoying (need I say it again with time freezing to a halt every minute or so) non-sentient antagonist. Play Russian roulette with the crew manifest. AI Controlled
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Shadowling
Shadowling suffered from issues of it being yet another crew conversion game mode, and was generally unfun to fight against and had a anti-climatic ending. This mode has recently been reworked into the Nightmare side antagonist. Be the hip and more popular brother to the Changeling. Turn the station into thralls. Cry when a cyborg turns on its headlamp. Shadow Walk into space and die ten minutes into the round. bHard
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Cortical Borer
The Cortical Borer suffered from the same problems as the Monkey Mode, being very buggy and one sided at times. Fun for both sides was questionable. No current plans to reimplememt. Crawl in the corroded brain of the clown. Inject meth. Assume direct control. Induce crippling drugs in the clown. Inject meth. Cry when the host eats sugar. Inject meth. Overdose! aVery Hard
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Clockwork Cultist
Poor thing went through more iterations than any other antagonist. In the beginning, it was a blood cult imitator with turrets which was based around converting silicons. By the end, it was a bunch of kidnapping clock golems. Most rounds, it ended in a steamroll either for the cult, or for the crew. In the former case, the cultists would just sit around twiddling their thumbs for 10 minutes, in the latter case, security would bust through and end the cult in 1 minute. Throughout its existence, it was riddled with bugs and other exploits. Examples include:
  • The Eminence teleporting maxcaps into the brig
  • The crew purposely blowing up the SM to deny power to the cult
  • Stargazer spam around the AI sat
  • Cogscarab brass replication exploits

On 4/2/2018, Clockwork Cult was removed from the normal rotation of game modes, with the code for it being taken out a year later. The assets however remain in the code, and many relics of the Cult can either be replicated with Bronze or found...

Clock and brass torture (CBT) is a sexual activity involving application of pain or constriction to the Space Station 13 round. This may involve directly painful activities, such as slab play, plasma flooding, spearing, wall-busting, implant removal, marauder play, holy water torture, erotic Neovgre summoning or even tesloose.[1] The recipient of such activities may receive direct physical pleasure via masochism, or emotional pleasure through erotic humiliation, or knowledge that the play is pleasing to a powerful deity. Many of these practices carry significant health risks. bMedium to Unwinnable Effortless
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Syndicate Mutineer
Overthrow ended up being a damn confusing gamemode. Examples include how unclear it was if the other agent teams were working with or against you, or how the points system worked, not to mention the poor wording of the Overthrown AI lawset. Numerous bugs surfaced that didn't all get fixed, and the gamemode ended up being recognized as one of the least-liked gamemodes after a vote was taken.

Soon after said vote, the gamemode was removed from the gamemode rotation, and later on 7/22/2019 was removed entirely.

Arrive on the station as a Traitor with less gear but the ability to awaken the Syndicate sleeper agent in everybody. Cooperate with other teams to stage the perfect coup (or don't and just fight each other, fuck those guys). Roll up with your posse on a quest to become the most powerful Gang Syndicate team. Ask yourself what the fuck you're supposed to do. aHard
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Hivemind Host
Assimilation was a conversion stealth antag that ended up being extremely hard to counter and was generally unfun to play against. After a community poll many wished to see the gamemode reworked, which was unlikely to happen since the creator and main active maintainer of the gamemode had stopped working on it.

The gamemode and it's related code was removed 7/26/2019.

Stand around in places and add unwitting humans to your hivemind. Hijack the minds of crewmembers and have them do the dirty work for you. Have a random vessel get implanted and security wailing down on you 30 minutes into the shift. aHard
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Devil
Somewhat of a flawed mode, turns out that asking to buy a guy's soul usually makes them want to robust you, because "valid." Usually involved the devil blowing up some crew members and then offering them contracts to be revived. But, despite this, the Gods would occasionally use devils as a interesting midround antagonist with it's final accession ability disabled.

Unfortunately, devil code was old and buggy, and it was decided that it would best be removed on 9/22/2020.

Engage in civil discussions to buy souls. Create emergencies so that people are desperate enough to sell their soul. Try to out wit the lawyer. Get punched to death by someone you just turned into a hulk. bMedium

Special

Job Role Difficulty
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Lavaland/Space Role
Die to ash storms. Die to an asteroid. Die to lava. Die when a Security strike team teleports into your base. Die to a Miner. Die in general. If you survive, make a pilgrimage to the station so you can experience racism and die. bHard
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CentCom Official
Be self-important. Meddle with station affairs. Annoy the Captain with bureaucracy. Get killed almost immediately by a random mob. Have your body looted by everyone, including the Captain. Be murdered under suspicion of being a badly-disguised nuclear operative. bMedium
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Ian
Perform ass inspections. Eat donuts. Get killed, be dragged off to a washing machine and get gibbed, then have your meat turned into a statue of the clown. Cause a riot when an assistant breaks into the HoP office to steal you. Wear funny hats. aImpossible
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Chrono Legionnaire
Erase the Clown from time. Accidently erase your objective from time. Erase Adolf Hitler for the 50th time this week. Wonder if any admins remember you exist. bNever Existed
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Highlander
THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE bMedium
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Emergency Response Officer
Arrive too late on the station to actually help. Lose the rest of your team, get outnumbered and die. Be killed by a single traitor with a double energy sword. Respawn as a second response team to save the first team. bVery Hard
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Death Squad Officer
Beg admins to spawn a deathsquad, spawn in at CentCom, kill the admin who was trying to tell you your mission, get gibbed, beg for another chance. Set your rifle to DESTROY and terminate all lifeforms (including walls). Slip on a banana peel and a̶n̶d̶ ̶g̶e̶t̶ ̶b̶l̶a̶s̶t̶e̶d̶ ̶i̶n̶t̶o̶ ̶o̶b̶l̶i̶v̶i̶o̶n̶ ̶w̶i̶t̶h̶ ̶y̶o̶u̶r̶ ̶o̶w̶n̶ ̶r̶i̶f̶l̶e̶ laugh as your boots prevent you from slipping and the Clown can't fire your DNA-locked rifle. Shoot the Clown with your Mateba Revolver. bHard