The great mysteries of SS13

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The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby CPTANT » Tue Jan 10, 2017 6:10 pm #242683

Why can't I wear a belt without wearing a jumpsuit?


Why don't ghosts move over to other Z-levels when they hit the edge of the map?


Why don't harvester's have night vision wile Nar'sie breaks all lights?



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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Armhulen » Tue Jan 10, 2017 6:18 pm #242686

why does a tesla cancel out a small singularity, leaving only a small explosion?
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Wyzack » Tue Jan 10, 2017 6:21 pm #242688

why can i be pulled around and not get away when handcuffed, but have no trouble walking away when i have no arms?
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Alipheese » Tue Jan 10, 2017 6:23 pm #242690

Why do I need a jumpsuit to store things? Spess men have assholes.
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby CPTANT » Tue Jan 10, 2017 7:16 pm #242703

Alipheese wrote:Why do I need a jumpsuit to store things? Spess men have assholes.


Where do you think the storage implant stores its items?

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby TribeOfBeavers » Tue Jan 10, 2017 7:22 pm #242704

Wyzack wrote:why can i be pulled around and not get away when handcuffed, but have no trouble walking away when i have no arms?



I always imagined they were dragging you around by the handcuffs. I bet it is pretty difficult to drag an armless person around though, not much to hold onto.

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Wyzack » Tue Jan 10, 2017 9:14 pm #242728

could you not just as easily grab the cuff of their shirt unless they are naked?
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Xhuis » Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:11 pm #242736

Why does coffee and a fireman's suit protect you from the vacuum of space?

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Saegrimr » Tue Jan 10, 2017 10:44 pm #242756

CPTANT wrote:Why can't I wear a belt without wearing a jumpsuit?


This actually bothers me and I wish it would be fixed.
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby oranges » Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:07 am #242919

The answer to all these questions is

because that is the way it is

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Davidchan » Wed Jan 11, 2017 9:23 am #242923

Why can I draw oxygen from a tank in my pocket but not one in my backpack.

Why is the Syndicate so dead set on destroying this station when it's own crew will do that job for them in just a few hours.

Why does a gravitational singularity move about the station rather than implode the station in around it?

Why does it take more metal to build a computer than it does to build a wall, or a table and 2 chairs?

Why can't I use magboots to give the clown the stomping of his life?

Why does a shotgun fire if someone saws the barrel, the primers are on the other end!

What the fuck is co2?
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Arianya » Wed Jan 11, 2017 2:36 pm #242959

Davidchan wrote:Why can I draw oxygen from a tank in my pocket but not one in my backpack.


Backpacks are sealed so that you can go into space without everything flying out as the oxygen inside the backpack is jettisoned, this unfortunately means you cannot connect a hose, as it would break the seal.

Why is the Syndicate so dead set on destroying this station when it's own crew will do that job for them in just a few hours.


Because they're sending a message to Nanotrasen about setting up stations in that region of space

(spoiler: NT doesn't learn)


Why does a gravitational singularity move about the station rather than implode the station in around it?


Frame of reference, and abstraction. The station is the one moving around the gravitational singularity from micro-oscillations in the orbit of the station, but the gravitational singularity doesn't spaghettify the station because its less fun that way.

Why does it take more metal to build a computer than it does to build a wall, or a table and 2 chairs?


Some metal is lost in making more fiddly, small components such as nuts, bolts, etc. so the computers have more "waste" created then the plain wall that is basically just 4 beams welded together with a sheet of metal on top.

(Why can you make girders without a welder? Space magic)

Why can't I use magboots to give the clown the stomping of his life?


NT implanted safeties require that magboots be flush with the hull before turning on, since a raised foot before turning on could harm both the user and the station hull as the foot accelerates aggresively towards the floor.

Why does a shotgun fire if someone saws the barrel, the primers are on the other end!


Because trigger safety is hard to practice while sawing through metal and wood without a vice.

What the fuck is co2?


Carbon Dioxide :honk:
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Oldman Robustin » Wed Jan 11, 2017 8:51 pm #243039

Wyzack wrote:could you not just as easily grab the cuff of their shirt unless they are naked?


Its much easier for a sec officer to maintain his grip on someone's handcuffs compared to trying to restrain someone by the collar of their shirt (what an awful way to maintain control of a violent individual).

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby XDTM » Thu Jan 12, 2017 9:25 pm #243385

Saegrimr wrote:
CPTANT wrote:Why can't I wear a belt without wearing a jumpsuit?


This actually bothers me and I wish it would be fixed.


Because of every non-belt item that can go in the belt slot, which would make no sense without jumpsuit.
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby TheNightingale » Thu Jan 12, 2017 9:30 pm #243387

Arianya wrote:
Davidchan wrote:Why can I draw oxygen from a tank in my pocket but not one in my backpack.


Backpacks are sealed so that you can go into space without everything flying out as the oxygen inside the backpack is jettisoned, this unfortunately means you cannot connect a hose, as it would break the seal.


Then how can you take stuff out of your backpack in space?
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby PKPenguin321 » Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:05 pm #243420

XDTM wrote:
Saegrimr wrote:
CPTANT wrote:Why can't I wear a belt without wearing a jumpsuit?


This actually bothers me and I wish it would be fixed.


Because of every non-belt item that can go in the belt slot, which would make no sense without jumpsuit.

It'd be easy to put a var on belt items saying if they're an actual belt or not
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Jacough » Thu Jan 12, 2017 11:17 pm #243428

Alipheese wrote:Why do I need a jumpsuit to store things? Spess men have assholes.


Assholes were removed when poo was removed. As for how spessmen poop without assholes
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Lumbermancer » Fri Jan 13, 2017 4:21 am #243485

Why can't I get fat from over-eating?
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby D&B » Fri Jan 13, 2017 4:24 am #243487

If rounds weren't so short, what's the maximum amount of de facto speed one could build up with flight suits?
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby PKPenguin321 » Fri Jan 13, 2017 4:46 am #243490

D&B wrote:If rounds weren't so short, what's the maximum amount of de facto speed one could build up with flight suits?

To find out, we'd have to build up speed for twelve hours.
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obscolene wrote:Still entranced in a powergaming haze, I don't notice what the reset phrase is. But when I look in chat, I see that Johnathan TALIST has already set one!!! "Fuck me harder!" I lay my eyes upon!!! Can you believe this!? Disgracing my name in multiple ways within the mere span of a few MINUTES!!!! I tell him "NO NI[B][B]A," he laughs. I inform him, "I'M GOING TO GET BWOINKED FOR THIS," as a joke referencing rule 8. To which PEE KAY PENGUIN, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SECOND OF HIS CLASS, immediately bwoinks me, informing me "Yes, that is correct. You are currently being private messaged by me, PKPenguin, mastermind behind the /tg/station headmin triumvirate. Prepare to be banned, plebian. *smirks* ...and it looks like you've already had your final warning. *begins booting up ban cannon* Any last words...?" I am shocked by this statement. I voted for this man in the headmin election, I'm supposed to have ban immunity from him!!! The power has gone to his head!!! After a few seconds that feel as if they last forever, I remain silent -- frozen under the prowess of extreme shock and awe. "No...? Heh, well then... *eye glows blue* Into the trash it goes!" Not even 5 seconds after I read this final message, my PC shuts off. I'm literally shaking at this point, not knowing whether I am going to live to see tomorrow. I just got off the phone with my mom, informing her that we may not see each other for a while. She was confused, and starting to get scared -- so I just had to hang up on her. I didn't want to put her through what you put me through today, PKPenguin321. You are a disgusting, vile creature -- and if you ever talk to me or my mom ever again, I WILL bring you down. Back down to where you came.

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Doctor Pork » Fri Jan 13, 2017 6:51 am #243508

why did some jackets and all labcoats have pockets but now they dont?

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Iatots » Fri Jan 13, 2017 1:19 pm #243550

Why are hotdogs pastries?

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby D&B » Fri Jan 13, 2017 4:49 pm #243606

PKPenguin321 wrote:
D&B wrote:If rounds weren't so short, what's the maximum amount of de facto speed one could build up with flight suits?

To find out, we'd have to build up speed for twelve hours.


Would you need to use half toggles, or one full speed toggle?
[20:26:02]ADMIN: PM: [censored admin]->[censored]: Welp. It was just a prank bro isn't a very good excuse when it comes to unprovoked nonantag murder, but since this is your first time doing it and you seem to understand the problem instead of a bannu I'm just going to leave you with a warning. Please PLEASE don't do this again in the future, as funny as crackhead broken bottle memes can be. Alrighty? Do you have any input on this?
[20:26:39]ADMIN: PM: [censored]->[censored admin]: Alright, no problem. I have some input. Fuck my boy pussy.
[20:27:06]ADMIN: PM: [censored admin]->[censored]: Okay then. Have fun.
[20:31:29]ADMIN: PM: [censored admin]->[censored]: Excuse me?

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby calzilla1 » Fri Jan 13, 2017 6:25 pm #243632

D&B wrote:
PKPenguin321 wrote:
D&B wrote:If rounds weren't so short, what's the maximum amount of de facto speed one could build up with flight suits?

To find out, we'd have to build up speed for twelve hours.


Would you need to use half toggles, or one full speed toggle?

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Sweets » Fri Jan 13, 2017 8:11 pm #243670

Why don't ghosts move over to other Z-levels when they hit the edge of the map?


Click the black edge and get back to me.


The real mystery is why do we have toilets if spacemen seem to have 100% efficiency stomachs and never excrete anything.

Also why the fuck can we not *fart

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby DemonFiren » Sat Jan 14, 2017 9:47 am #243868

>>>/goon/
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby starmute » Sun Jan 15, 2017 4:52 am #244185

Why is there a bomb making facility if the bombs are never given to the miners?
Why are there ripleys when mining has become a fight between life and death and ripley is a slow death.
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby oranges » Sun Jan 15, 2017 7:36 am #244220

Lumbermancer wrote:Why can't I get fat from over-eating?

You can?

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby starmute » Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:06 am #244230

oranges wrote:
Lumbermancer wrote:Why can't I get fat from over-eating?

You can?


Fatsprites removed years ago

We should all riot now.
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Haevacht » Sun Jan 15, 2017 8:44 am #244238

You still get a fat effect.
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Lumbermancer » Sun Jan 15, 2017 1:44 pm #244284

FAT

SPRITES
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby oranges » Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:56 am #244431

PKPenguin321 wrote:
D&B wrote:If rounds weren't so short, what's the maximum amount of de facto speed one could build up with flight suits?

To find out, we'd have to build up speed for twelve hours.

A press is a press, you can't say it's only half.

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby PKPenguin321 » Mon Jan 16, 2017 12:57 am #244432

oranges wrote:
PKPenguin321 wrote:
D&B wrote:If rounds weren't so short, what's the maximum amount of de facto speed one could build up with flight suits?

To find out, we'd have to build up speed for twelve hours.

A press is a press, you can't say it's only half.

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tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
obscolene wrote:Still entranced in a powergaming haze, I don't notice what the reset phrase is. But when I look in chat, I see that Johnathan TALIST has already set one!!! "Fuck me harder!" I lay my eyes upon!!! Can you believe this!? Disgracing my name in multiple ways within the mere span of a few MINUTES!!!! I tell him "NO NI[B][B]A," he laughs. I inform him, "I'M GOING TO GET BWOINKED FOR THIS," as a joke referencing rule 8. To which PEE KAY PENGUIN, THREE HUNDRED AND TWENTY SECOND OF HIS CLASS, immediately bwoinks me, informing me "Yes, that is correct. You are currently being private messaged by me, PKPenguin, mastermind behind the /tg/station headmin triumvirate. Prepare to be banned, plebian. *smirks* ...and it looks like you've already had your final warning. *begins booting up ban cannon* Any last words...?" I am shocked by this statement. I voted for this man in the headmin election, I'm supposed to have ban immunity from him!!! The power has gone to his head!!! After a few seconds that feel as if they last forever, I remain silent -- frozen under the prowess of extreme shock and awe. "No...? Heh, well then... *eye glows blue* Into the trash it goes!" Not even 5 seconds after I read this final message, my PC shuts off. I'm literally shaking at this point, not knowing whether I am going to live to see tomorrow. I just got off the phone with my mom, informing her that we may not see each other for a while. She was confused, and starting to get scared -- so I just had to hang up on her. I didn't want to put her through what you put me through today, PKPenguin321. You are a disgusting, vile creature -- and if you ever talk to me or my mom ever again, I WILL bring you down. Back down to where you came.

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby CosmicScientist » Mon Jan 16, 2017 1:11 am #244439

Doctor Pork wrote:why did some jackets and all labcoats have pockets but now they dont?

Nanotrasen swapped clothes manufacturers to deny that corporation business. When all extra pocket clothes started coming with explosive devices inside and not all crew members knew about the pockets to remove said devices, the Nanotrasen supply department decided foreign policy took a backseat to the office politics of the HR department not understanding it was worth hiring replacements over using the original supplier.
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Doctor Pork » Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:51 am #244528

CosmicScientist wrote:
Doctor Pork wrote:why did some jackets and all labcoats have pockets but now they dont?

Nanotrasen swapped clothes manufacturers to deny that corporation business. When all extra pocket clothes started coming with explosive devices inside and not all crew members knew about the pockets to remove said devices, the Nanotrasen supply department decided foreign policy took a backseat to the office politics of the HR department not understanding it was worth hiring replacements over using the original supplier.

But, couldn't they have just stitched on tags that say "This Outerwear Has Pockets" instead of going through all of that hassle? Why didn't they just make the pockets smaller? Who cried about it in the first place? Was it a bunch of SEC babbies? So many more questions.

PostThis post was deleted by oranges on Sat Jan 21, 2017 8:16 am.
Reason: double post

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Lumbermancer » Mon Jan 16, 2017 10:50 pm #244682

CMO labcoat still has pockets. Beg for the spare.
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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby CosmicScientist » Tue Jan 17, 2017 1:29 am #244800

Doctor Pork wrote:
CosmicScientist wrote:
Doctor Pork wrote:why did some jackets and all labcoats have pockets but now they dont?

Nanotrasen swapped clothes manufacturers to deny that corporation business. When all extra pocket clothes started coming with explosive devices inside and not all crew members knew about the pockets to remove said devices, the Nanotrasen supply department decided foreign policy took a backseat to the office politics of the HR department not understanding it was worth hiring replacements over using the original supplier.

But, couldn't they have just stitched on tags that say "This Outerwear Has Pockets" instead of going through all of that hassle? Why didn't they just make the pockets smaller? Who cried about it in the first place? Was it a bunch of SEC babbies? So many more questions.

Because if the product is arriving with explosives inside, whoever is putting them in won't want to draw attention to that fact until it's time for a spessman to be limb spaghetti.
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jesus.

couldn't have said it better myself.

one oxford point for you.

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Re: The great mysteries of SS13

Unread postby Doctor Pork » Tue Jan 17, 2017 6:15 am #244903

CosmicScientist wrote:
Doctor Pork wrote:
CosmicScientist wrote:
Doctor Pork wrote:why did some jackets and all labcoats have pockets but now they dont?

Nanotrasen swapped clothes manufacturers to deny that corporation business. When all extra pocket clothes started coming with explosive devices inside and not all crew members knew about the pockets to remove said devices, the Nanotrasen supply department decided foreign policy took a backseat to the office politics of the HR department not understanding it was worth hiring replacements over using the original supplier.

But, couldn't they have just stitched on tags that say "This Outerwear Has Pockets" instead of going through all of that hassle? Why didn't they just make the pockets smaller? Who cried about it in the first place? Was it a bunch of SEC babbies? So many more questions.

Because if the product is arriving with explosives inside, whoever is putting them in won't want to draw attention to that fact until it's time for a spessman to be limb spaghetti.

That's a good point.


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