Intergalactic News Network
- angelstarri
- Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2018 4:03 am
- Byond Username: Angelstarri
Intergalactic News Network
I've taken some time off in Manuel to write short lore stories and broadcasting them with the help of the station newscaster. These are often packed with small references to our own and other sci-fi universes. I thought I'd put them in here for posterity's sake.
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I strongly suspected the borgs were one humaned by the Captain because of their increasingly strange behavior throughout the round after the Captain had entered their upload and seemingly changed the laws. I had asked twice if I could blow the borgs to no response (because there was no admin online apparently). They were constantly complimenting the Captain and calling her pretty and essentially threatening people who called the Captain ugly - Pepper Oni.
- angelstarri
- Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2018 4:03 am
- Byond Username: Angelstarri
Re: Intergalactic News Network
An anomaly described by scientists as a "fracture in space" was detected by scientific sensor relays in the Sol system. The anomaly suddenly disappeared minutes before exploratory probes were able to reach it. See our insider's article to get the opinion of lead SolTech scientist Tom Connery.
Scientists and medical personnel reported a complete failure of all genetic manipulation systems galaxy-wide after several black-outs were reported on leading-edge research and development facilities. Lead medical manufacturer Vandermeer Corporation has refused a request for comment.
The NSV DeLorean has been found in deep space after having been declared missing 17 years ago. Preliminary science scans show the vessel suffered heavy damage from an unknown type of energy weapon. Salvaged sensor logs indicate the appearance of an unknown biological entity near the vessel before it came under attack. Speculations of an unknown alien force have begun to arise in the colonized systems. TerraGov has declined a request for comment.
A scientific breakthrough made by the MediDyne Systems' Orbital Research Platform located in the Vega system enables users of their patented handheld device to track injured personnel location sensors and teleport to them to provide immediate assistance. A patent has been filed by the corporation. "We expect to outsource these devices to border planets and stations. We're expecting a massive improvement in response times.", said William DeForest, chairman of the MediDyne Systems Company. MediDyne stock has gone up 2.8% after the announcement.
Programmers of the famous Outbomb Cuban Pete game were shocked to find a receipt note to attend negotiations for a lawsuit filed by Cuban Pete himself. Cuban Pete's sponsor, BEBA Games Inc., claims that the personality was never informed of said videogame and was not paid any rights for the usage of his name and likeness. More details to follow in our exclusive insider's report.
The Intergalactic Cargo Workers Association is asking companies to stop leasing cargo shuttles to unlicensed cargo handlers. "We were told to lease our shuttle to some sort of Syndicate corporation. Next thing I know, the shuttle comes back full of black ops guys! What the hell?", said Hugh Tonto, former Cargo Technician of the NSV Ferrocci.
Members of the Astronomi Sector Scientist's Guild have published a finding that, in their words, 'will revolutionize the way we do science.' The published report is 1.694 pages long and is still under review by several TerraGov and Border World Confederacy scientists. There has been no feedback from either of their current progress. "This may take a while.", said Jefferson Picard, chairman of the TerraGov Scientist Corps.
Last edited by angelstarri on Fri Feb 28, 2020 7:05 am, edited 2 times in total.
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I strongly suspected the borgs were one humaned by the Captain because of their increasingly strange behavior throughout the round after the Captain had entered their upload and seemingly changed the laws. I had asked twice if I could blow the borgs to no response (because there was no admin online apparently). They were constantly complimenting the Captain and calling her pretty and essentially threatening people who called the Captain ugly - Pepper Oni.
- angelstarri
- Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2018 4:03 am
- Byond Username: Angelstarri
Re: Intergalactic News Network
SCIENCE: SolTech's Head of Research, Dr. Tom Connery, made a public statement this morning regarding the brief appearance of a mysterious spatial anomaly yesterday. "Preliminary results from our sensor probes were scarce, as they could not reach the anomaly in time, but logs from a nearby TerraGov detection array allowed us to find a repeating signal emanating from the anomaly. We're intrigued by the possibilities of this phenomena and me along SolTech and members of the TerraGov Scientific Committee are in talks to pursue further study of it." Several private research firms have shown interest in helping efforts to determine the anomaly.
BREAKING: Galactic soft drinks supplier Discount Dan's Soda Inc. has announced the beginning of a class action suit against fellow industry competitor Robust Softdrinks Inc. after the conclusion of a TerraGov Security investigation regarding a reported break-in and sabotage of the Discount Dan's manufacturing moon located in the Vega sector two months ago. "We finally know from the authorities that the operatives who sabotaged our moon production facility were sponsored by Robust Softdrinks. They stole several developing designs and formulas to our hit drinks around the universe. We expect nothing more than the complete dissolution of our competitor." Robust Softdrinks Inc. declined an immediate request for comment.
LITERARY: Librarians all around the galaxy have reported a complete failure of their book inventory management systems. Speculations point to a massive central database crash on the massive TerraGov Intergalactic Book Preservation Foundation's servers. The foundation has refused an immediate request for comment.
BREAKING: Sol's most popular casino, the Relevate Hand, was struck by a team of four criminals this Monday. The award-winning establishment, located in the prestigious Luna Tourism district, suffered a theft of at least 25 million credits in cash and playing chips. Witnesses reported heavy gunfire in the area and men wearing suits and clown masks. TerraGov Security is conducting an investigation to determine the possible culprits of this heinous crime. "I spent one hundred thousand credits on the shuttle to get here just to find out the casino's closed!", said a local bystander.
Last edited by angelstarri on Fri Feb 28, 2020 7:01 am, edited 1 time in total.
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I strongly suspected the borgs were one humaned by the Captain because of their increasingly strange behavior throughout the round after the Captain had entered their upload and seemingly changed the laws. I had asked twice if I could blow the borgs to no response (because there was no admin online apparently). They were constantly complimenting the Captain and calling her pretty and essentially threatening people who called the Captain ugly - Pepper Oni.
- angelstarri
- Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2018 4:03 am
- Byond Username: Angelstarri
Re: Intergalactic News Network
MILITARY: A heated controversy inside the Intergalactic Military-Industrial Complex industry has erupted after TerraGov military officials reported the failure of a nuclear device that failed to detonate at a ten-year weapon inspection test. Authorities report that they found a massive river of Discount Dan's Boomer Beer at the test site. The weapon system manufacturer, MA Arms Inc., has admitted to the mistake and is making amends with TerraGov authorities after the heated mixup. "Unfortunately, some of the pieces of equipment designed for our corporate party gags division were mixed up with the weapons intended for shipment." TerraGov authorities suspect this mix-up was responsible for the nuclear detonation on Arcturus's Wonder Beach three years ago. Habitants of the formerly-popular space tourism planet intend to sue for damages.
ENGINEERING: TerraGov Galactic Court of Appeals has finally ruled in the case of Nanotrasen Systems vs. Zenith Atmospheric Systems Inc. in favor of Nanotrasen. "We're extremely happy with the result of the case. No man or woman should have to fear another pipe bursting under their feet ever again.", said Thomas Edwin, the legal representative of the galactic giant. The infamous atmospheric conditions provided by Zenith Atmospherics reported three years ago included vehicle-wide pipe bursting, overpressure and the general implosion of atmospheric material due to heavy stress. ZAS Inc. is expected to declare bankruptcy after paying the declared conditions by the Galactic Court.
Code: Select all
I strongly suspected the borgs were one humaned by the Captain because of their increasingly strange behavior throughout the round after the Captain had entered their upload and seemingly changed the laws. I had asked twice if I could blow the borgs to no response (because there was no admin online apparently). They were constantly complimenting the Captain and calling her pretty and essentially threatening people who called the Captain ugly - Pepper Oni.
- angelstarri
- Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2018 4:03 am
- Byond Username: Angelstarri
Re: Intergalactic News Network
BREAKING: The Nanotrasen Systems NSV-14 Unity research vessel was completely destroyed after its late captain, Elias Woodman, unknowingly steered the starship into an uncharted asteroid belt. This marks the seventh Nanotrasen Systems ship with the name Unity to have been lost in the last fifteen years of the company's history. "We'll remake it so it doesn't suck again." said Robert Heinz, Chief Engineer at Nanotrasen Systems Starship Design.
POLITICS: TerraGov President Geoffrey Blair has declared the current situation with the Border Worlds Confederacy an "imminent conflict" as tensions continue to rise in the Alykia sector. TerraGov security forces have sent the battle-hardened TGV Excelsior to deal with medium-scale skirmishes in the sector. BWC spokesman Jennifer Bodega claims that "the conflict will not end until TerraGov opens its arms to negotiation."
Last edited by angelstarri on Sat Feb 29, 2020 7:09 am, edited 2 times in total.
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I strongly suspected the borgs were one humaned by the Captain because of their increasingly strange behavior throughout the round after the Captain had entered their upload and seemingly changed the laws. I had asked twice if I could blow the borgs to no response (because there was no admin online apparently). They were constantly complimenting the Captain and calling her pretty and essentially threatening people who called the Captain ugly - Pepper Oni.
- angelstarri
- Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2018 4:03 am
- Byond Username: Angelstarri
Re: Intergalactic News Network
Last edited by angelstarri on Fri Feb 28, 2020 10:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Code: Select all
I strongly suspected the borgs were one humaned by the Captain because of their increasingly strange behavior throughout the round after the Captain had entered their upload and seemingly changed the laws. I had asked twice if I could blow the borgs to no response (because there was no admin online apparently). They were constantly complimenting the Captain and calling her pretty and essentially threatening people who called the Captain ugly - Pepper Oni.
- Tarchonvaagh
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- Joined: Tue Nov 05, 2019 1:30 am
- Byond Username: Cybersaber101
- Location: Canada, eh?
Re: Intergalactic News Network
I appreciate them when you make em!
The same poster, over and over and over and over and over and-
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- Joined: Tue Oct 29, 2019 2:00 am
- Byond Username: Jack7D1
Re: Intergalactic News Network
Holy hell man, I had a great time reading these.
- angelstarri
- Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2018 4:03 am
- Byond Username: Angelstarri
Re: Intergalactic News Network
Code: Select all
I strongly suspected the borgs were one humaned by the Captain because of their increasingly strange behavior throughout the round after the Captain had entered their upload and seemingly changed the laws. I had asked twice if I could blow the borgs to no response (because there was no admin online apparently). They were constantly complimenting the Captain and calling her pretty and essentially threatening people who called the Captain ugly - Pepper Oni.
- Super Aggro Crag
- In Game PermaBanned
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- wesoda25
- Joined: Thu Aug 10, 2017 9:32 pm
- Byond Username: Wesoda25
Re: Intergalactic News Network
good gimmick, better left unsaid though
- peoplearestrange
- Joined: Tue Apr 22, 2014 12:02 pm
- Byond Username: Peoplearestrange
- Location: old
Re: Intergalactic News Network
Ooh I like this!
I think it be neat if there was stories like this in game always ticking through from a big database of stories, so maybe every 30mins or hour a new story pops up.
If we had economies we could have linked stories to change in market prices of stuff, but I think that whole thing is sadly a bit of a dead end.
I think it be neat if there was stories like this in game always ticking through from a big database of stories, so maybe every 30mins or hour a new story pops up.
If we had economies we could have linked stories to change in market prices of stuff, but I think that whole thing is sadly a bit of a dead end.
Whatever
Spoiler:
- angelstarri
- Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2018 4:03 am
- Byond Username: Angelstarri
Re: Intergalactic News Network
Code: Select all
I strongly suspected the borgs were one humaned by the Captain because of their increasingly strange behavior throughout the round after the Captain had entered their upload and seemingly changed the laws. I had asked twice if I could blow the borgs to no response (because there was no admin online apparently). They were constantly complimenting the Captain and calling her pretty and essentially threatening people who called the Captain ugly - Pepper Oni.
- gum disease
- In-Game Admin
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- Byond Username: GUM DISEASE
- Location: England
Re: Intergalactic News Network
Peppawoni, these are very good!
- RiskySikh
- Joined: Sun Mar 18, 2018 3:16 am
- Byond Username: RiskySikh
Re: Intergalactic News Network
pretty good
- angelstarri
- Joined: Sun Aug 26, 2018 4:03 am
- Byond Username: Angelstarri
Re: Intergalactic News Network
Code: Select all
I strongly suspected the borgs were one humaned by the Captain because of their increasingly strange behavior throughout the round after the Captain had entered their upload and seemingly changed the laws. I had asked twice if I could blow the borgs to no response (because there was no admin online apparently). They were constantly complimenting the Captain and calling her pretty and essentially threatening people who called the Captain ugly - Pepper Oni.
- Tamaguen
- Joined: Thu Dec 13, 2018 2:00 am
- Byond Username: Tamaguen
Re: Intergalactic News Network
I saw this on Manuel the other day, and I really love the idea! The newscasters really need more attention. Maybe with the addition of Gangs we'll see reporters being paid off to post bad news about rival gangs and good things about whoever paid them.
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