Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

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DemonFiren
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby DemonFiren » Sat Jun 27, 2015 12:32 pm #99278

Or the borg was lagging horribro.
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non-lizard things:
Spoiler:
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PKPenguin321
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby PKPenguin321 » Sun Jun 28, 2015 1:17 am #99508

THE MIGHTY GALVATRON wrote:I changed a borg's battery so fast it didn't even notice me doing it.

That's my story, I'm the best.

Wanna see me change that borg's battery?
Wanna see me do it again?
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well.
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
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Fiz Bump
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Fiz Bump » Sun Jun 28, 2015 7:52 am #99619

>Spawn in a janitor, could be a good lazy round to cap off the night.
>You are the double agent! Kill the shit out of Daisy.
>Sorry Daisy.
>By myself a surplus crate, cause memes.
>EVERY Syndicate implant, revolver, AI warning tool.
>Spend about two minutes implanting my way to godhood, notice AI is watching me toss syndicate boxes and other obvious traitor things around my office.
>Time to skedaddle, saddle up on my trusty janicart.
>As I drive by the HoP line, who should I see but Daisy.
>Roll up and unload revolver in her. Blat blat.
>Several people in HoP line and cargo see me and seem to give very few fucks.
>Drag body to arrivals and space the shit out of it.
>Ten minutes pass as I get my cart upgraded and jet around the station, cleaning up Daisy's blood for funsies.
>I am bored. Ahelp and whine for more objectives.
>Kill the two abductors. Ayyyyy.
>Suddenly, AI tool goes red. Security, a secborg and Beepsky bum rush me.
>Pop all my implants like a cool dude and jet out of there into maintenance.
>Spend the rest of the round dodging security in maint and listening to the station get Cuban Pete'd.
>At one point I let a sec officer tase me and drag me away.
>Hear him say "Finally caught the slippery bastard" over sec-chat.
>Pop my escape implant as we go through the brig doors and run back into maintenance. Many keks were had.
>Time passes, tcomms get bombed, station is generally fucked.
>Shuttle is called by babbies who can't fix a station.
>Fuck, where are those ayy lmaos.
>Shuttle arrives and I get on board.
>Hiding in a locker when suddenly, ayy lmaos appear.
>I valiantly save a crewmate and try to fight off ayys with an oxygen tank but I am sadly beaten into crit and dragged back to the ayy ship.
>Round about to end, I am resigned to my fate as the ayys sit around my almost lifeless body.
>Suddenly I remember that there is still one implant that I haven't use.
>I succumb to my explosive implant (pre-micro/macro-bomb) and kill both ayys not even a full second before the round ends.
>Round ends,I receive my greentext.
Ayyy lmao.
I play Fiz Bump.
I am not a game admin. My reign of badminnery ended a few years ago.View me feedback here: >:^)

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Not-Dorsidarf
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Not-Dorsidarf » Sun Jun 28, 2015 8:44 am #99625

How do you greentext as a dead DA?
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PKPenguin321
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby PKPenguin321 » Sun Jun 28, 2015 8:57 am #99627

Not-Dorsidarf wrote:How do you greentext as a dead DA?

admins changed his objectives so it's not far fetched that he got a swapped out escape objective

only-good-story-to-come-from-macrobombs/10
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well.
tell the best admin how good he is
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Cheimon
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Cheimon » Sun Jun 28, 2015 12:14 pm #99665

Not even about macrobombs, this was just the old fashioned explosive implant from what he's saying.

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Braincake
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Braincake » Sun Jun 28, 2015 5:46 pm #99774

>Late-join as Lawyer
>Overhear stuff about rampant changelings, nothing interesting
>Reroute disposals so it goes to the Captain's office
>Play Orion Trail for a while, get antag token
>Pray to the gods for something interesting whilst spinning around the token
>No response, ah well
>Make an all-access form and stamp it with the Captain's stamp for kicks
>Hand it to the HoP
>He laughs, says the Captain had one job, and grants it
>Okay.jpg
>Put on a full black suit, get some medical gloves dyed blue, nick the soap from the Captain's quarters
>Start cleaning blood from the floors
>Suddenly turn into a shadowling
>Never been one before, panic, read wiki quickguide
>Head into Medbay, the other shadowling just rounds the corner with his thrall
>Hulk abounds, so they start punching people and thralling them
>Figure I'll get some equipment from the Armory to speed things along
>Head there, Brig has plenty of security running around
>HoS observes me waltzing through the Warden's office without comment
>Acquire equipment
>Open the door to the Brig Office
>Bump into my fellow lawyer, Oldman Robustin, on the Janicart
>Toot at him, then arrest him
>Dump him in the rightmost cell, strip the headset, he still gets a few shouts off
>Start converting him, no idea how long this will take
>Progress bar has almost finished, nobody noticed yet, phew
>Second progress bar starts, dang
>An officer walks past and ignores Oldman's cries for help
>Fifth progress bar finally completes the process
>We convert two hapless officers in the Equipment room
>Tell all of them to get more folks while I stay there
>A steady stream of converts starts arriving
>Doesn't take long before security is either dead or converted
>Conversion queue starts building up, thrall security force gets into a few fights
>Other shadowling arrives and joins the party
>One convert suddenly sprouts an armblade and is quickly dogpiled and brutalized
>Recall the shuttle once, second time unfortunately fails because lockdown
>Hatch in a dark corner of the office, continue chain-thralling
>It's just not enough to get the quota before the shuttle arrives
>Office is full of corpses and naked people cuffed to chairs loudly complaining

Spoiler:
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Screencapped by LordofOreos, I assume

Don't even care about the redtext, that was absolutely hilarious.

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Fiz Bump
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Fiz Bump » Sun Jun 28, 2015 7:35 pm #99811

PKPenguin321 wrote:
Not-Dorsidarf wrote:How do you greentext as a dead DA?

admins changed his objectives so it's not far fetched that he got a swapped out escape objective

only-good-story-to-come-from-macrobombs/10



Yeah, I had my objectives completely replaced with "Kill the two abductors from Spaceship Wibblewobble" or something like that.
And it was one of the old explosive implants. Completely gibbed one alien and killed the other, as they were standing right on top of me, for some raisin.
I play Fiz Bump.
I am not a game admin. My reign of badminnery ended a few years ago.View me feedback here: >:^)

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DrunkenMatey
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby DrunkenMatey » Sun Jul 05, 2015 8:41 am #101768

>MURICA ROUND (everyone gets guns from cargo for self defense)
>Set genetics to high
>Spawn as only member of security FUCK NO. I DIDNT ASK FOR THIS!
> Spend 30 min waiting for a HoP before finally getting captain to help
> Beg for any other job.
> Janitor!
> Spend an hour trying to clean medbay as an endless stream of bullet ridden corpses are dragged all over (since everyone has guns)
> Pick up some ninja stars that were laying around in medbay
> See a dude getting abducted by an invisible ninja
> Chase after them and fire wildly at the ninja
> Ninja runs away
> Take the poor abductee to cryo
> Cleaning by HoP office
> Get jumped by ninja and dragged into maint
> Stand up just long enough to throw a ninja star wildly
> Ninja star embeds in unknowns head!
> Die a slow death in maint
> Ninja died.

I don't know 100% that the ninja star I threw into his head killed him... but I'm 95% sure it did. No one else had an answer to what happened to him when I asked and he was definitely dead at round end.

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lumipharon
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby lumipharon » Sun Jul 05, 2015 11:57 am #101788

Had a 3 way gang round, so many lucky escapes, holy shit.

>be chemist gang leader

>drink neurotoxin at the bar
>Barman is a enemy gang leader and tries convert then kill me
>sec comes, neither of us call each other gangsters in fear of retaliation

>syringe a sec officer with mute + stun
>the neurotox doesn't stun him
>get dunked
>lieutenant cluwn getting murdered in armory
>get murdered myself in execution
>jokes on you faggots, autocloner

>sec wants to murder me at genetics
>borg saves me because sec is evil (subverted)
>enemy ganger wants to murder me in science
>borg saves me because they misspelt some shit in the subversion
>loot now bombed brig for an uplink and pen, find all access too
>come back to medbay for recruits
>the sec officer that murdered me is now in my gang
>the dumb fuck implanted himself with the implant I had in my box
>implant some other random
>give them both uzi's
>go towards locker toilets to stop enemy dominator
>sec guy vanishes somewhere
>2nd guy accidentally shoots me EIGHT times with the uzi, trying to shoot some unarmed dude behind us
>he gets murdered by gangers, but gods have mercy on me because of his ineptitude
>use the bomb the sec guy gave me
>enemy ganger uses xray + tk to move the bomb away, dominator alive
>gun down enemy gangers in the crater with my uzi, hulks and shit everywhere
>c4 into the toilets
>destroy the dominator unopposed because they dead borgs are blocking the way

>3rd gang sets a dominator in front of the hop office
>shoot more of their nerds
>c4 in and blow up their dominator also
>shuttle finally leaves
>crew victory even though almost everyone is dead

That round. Holy fuck.

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IcePacks
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby IcePacks » Sun Jul 05, 2015 3:43 pm #101806

>captain
>oh but i have a gay tail
>fuck this
>i'm going to turn myself into a robot
>but wait then i can't captain the station
>devise a genius scheme: we will all get mech bodies
>forget that there's antags
>ignore the security channel and focus on science
>willing volunteers to mine my minerals for my glorious durand body
>purge the ai
>give the ai a law: do whatever it takes (including murder, mild insubordination) to get the crew into totally optional but wholly endorsed mech bodies
>ai: law one: kill everyone while ignoring them and borg them
>robutticist gets cold feet; tells me i'll be banned
>what a fucking pussy
>ai only has about four borgs
>not good enough!
>hire a new one
>ai keeps nagging me to upgrade
>tell it i'm not settling for anything less than a fucking durand
>keeps telling me to upgrade
>walk into robotics to see how things are going
>chief engineer and some other dweeb are handcuffed and being forceborged
>the ce's last words: UNFUCK THIS STATION
>eh
>walk back to the bridge
>door's bolted
>try to talk the ai down
>blegh blorp a sprooo get to robuttics for upgrades captain!!
>instantly regret this
>see my tail
>continue as originally planned
>time passes; the borgs' numbers swell while nary a single fucking mech is made because cargo sucks and they're too busy screaming about gangs or some shit
>dominator online
>walk on up to it in science
>entire place is on fire; burning bodies everywhere
>dominator is deactivated
>see the hos being escorted by a security borg
>kill it and rescue him
>at this point the crew is calling for my demotion
>call the shuttle as i make ready to be pulled out of my office and slain in the hallways
>just kidding walk to escape
>halfhearted murder attempts
>shuttle launches
>there's a bunch of mmis from the blown borgs on the table trying to start a riot
>fuck this
>shoot out the window
>jump off the shuttle
>teleport back to the station
>"where were we on that robot body, ai"

my robot apocalypse: abridged
OOC: Deitus: tfw RL porn doesnt sexually excite me anymore

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DemonFiren
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby DemonFiren » Sun Jul 05, 2015 8:53 pm #101855

To be fair, you did shit up half the players' round and worded that law exceptionally poorly.
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non-lizard things:
Spoiler:
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QuartzCrystal
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby QuartzCrystal » Mon Jul 06, 2015 8:18 pm #102088

>be detective, slow round
>captain being a douche to HoS (Jack Steiner) over comms about not going to a meeting
>some time passes, HoS announces that it's time for a mutiny due to the captain trying to demote him for not going to a meeting on time
>I pledge my allegiance to Jack Steiner, the true Head of Station (HoS)
>I burst into the interrogation room where the captain and the rest of security have Jack tied up
>nearly kill the warden, take down some others, eventually am taken down myself
>Jack is taken to perma as I profess my love for him, he tells me to never give up
>it's suddenly malf, in the confusion I'm able to get out of the brig and uncuff, I get back to perma and find Jack (though he's AFK)
>find Jack's stuff, suit up his AFK body and drag him to safety
>he comes back and tells me he has no ID, we split up
>I get into the teleporter room, AI just got killed and the captain made an announcement about calling the shuttle
>I teleport in, shoot the captain and the half dozen security/others that are around
>scream "IT WAS ALL FOR JACK!" as I'm brutally beaten to death by the loyalists and the captain

A little bit later Jack Steiner tries basically the exact same thing as me, same result. Shuttle arrives and round ends shortly after.

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IcePacks
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby IcePacks » Tue Jul 07, 2015 3:49 pm #102300

DemonFiren wrote:To be fair, you did shit up half the players' round and worded that law exceptionally poorly.

to be fair, most of them lacked enthusiasm and the ai stretched the fuck outta that law
OOC: Deitus: tfw RL porn doesnt sexually excite me anymore

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DemonFiren
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby DemonFiren » Tue Jul 07, 2015 5:37 pm #102328

You did tell the AI to do "whatever it takes". This includes ignoring the crew's wishes, thus rendering the 'optional' part moot.

Or at least that's the interpretation I would have chosen as AI. And you can't blame crew for not wanting to lynch an AI that isn't technically antag, or a Captain who isn't technically antag, either, because BWOINK.
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Spoiler:
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Perakp
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Perakp » Wed Jul 08, 2015 9:56 am #102574

> Join in as ops
> We buy two syndi borgs and a bunch of other stuff
> Reports of singularity being free on the radio
> Take some bombs, extra ammo, shotgun, box of flashbangs
> One op needs help putting up the spacesuit helmet
> Ship parked NE of the station
> Fast jetpacks are fast, zoom past HoS office while he's in there
> Plant a bomb at armory for the guys that got left behind in the singularity lag
> Don't feel like fighting in the armory, fly to bomb tcomms next
> Go all the way around the station, realize I don't actually want to shoot through windows to get on the station
> Conveniently an engineer is wiring the solars
> Not hearing much from the other ops, then again I haven't been paying much attention
> Plant a bomb in maintenance next to tcomms APC
> Disk in captain's office, no word from other ops, gibs in the hallway
> Grab RCD from EVA
> Lurk around captain's office
> Tcomms bomb missed the apc by an inch
> Guy in CE suit fixing tcomms
> Drag him away, strip, discover a normal station engineer ID
> Not much time left, time to go ham on this captain
> RCD through teleporter room
> flashbang, flashbang, minibomb, pistol down a secborg
> Captain escaped to Bridge, RCD is out of charges
> Reload pistol, grab another flashbang, fix teleporter
> Teleport to bridge, flashbang, kill a virologist with their fireaxe, shoot down and axe the HoS
> Take HoS's ID, check if he had guns, reload
> captain is in the meeting room, chase after him
> Handteleported to bridge, chase to his office, spamming flashbangs everywhere
> He teleports again and I flashbang myself
> After shuttle arrives find him dead next to the shuttle
> Grab him, take the disk, shuttle leaves
> Can't find our ship, go across z level
> Run out of oxygen and die in space
> Syndicate minor victory

Okay, we didn't properly win, but it was still awesome
> Reading the ghosts' comments from public logs

Code: Select all
[18:57:39]SAY: QuartzCrystal/(Jebidiah Redbull) has made a priority announcement: Good job handling the ops crew. Myself and a security borg are safe and guarding the disk. See you all on the escape shuttle when the time comes. Stay safe.
[18:59:29]ADMIN: peoplearestrange/(Cayenne) checked antagonists.
[18:59:35]ADMIN: @Peoplearestrange[DC]/(Cayenne) followed Perakp/(Flick Scones)
[18:59:41]GAME: Perakp/(Flick Scones) has primed a flashbang for detonation at Captain's Office (124,125,1).
[18:59:42]SAY: Ghost/Red Lobster : borg down
[18:59:47]SAY: Ghost/Nothingness : Nice, nice, nice.
[18:59:50]SAY: Ghost/Whodaloo : CAP STILL HSA THE DISK THO
[19:00:51]SAY: Ghost/Nothingness : What is he doing?
[19:00:57]SAY: Ghost/Whodaloo : trying to teleport to the bridge
[19:01:17]GAME: Perakp/(Flick Scones) has primed a flashbang for detonation at Bridge (116,135,1).
[19:01:44]EMOTE: Fay Slessgoon/Iamgoofball : <B>Fay Slessgoon</B> seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
[19:01:51]SAY: Ghost/RD101 : rip hos
[19:02:19]SAY: Ghost/Jud1c470r : truly, this man was worthy of killing me
[19:02:35]ADMIN: peoplearestrange/(Cayenne) Rejected Iamgoofball's admin help
[19:03:24]GAME: Perakp/(Flick Scones) has primed a flashbang for detonation at Captain's Office (121,130,1).
[19:03:35]SAY: Ghost/Eu4ia : SELF FLASHANGGED
[19:03:36]SAY: Ghost/Jud1c470r : HE&#39;S DOWN
[19:03:36]SAY: Ghost/Eu4ia : JFGGFJSHS
[19:03:37]SAY: Ghost/Jud1c470r : INTENSE
[19:03:38]SAY: Ghost/Eu4ia : AHAHAHA
[19:03:50]SAY: Ghost/Nothingness : At leat the cap know ho to run.
[19:03:59]SAY: Ghost/F1restorm : Luckily no one noticed...except twenty ghosts

[19:07:00]GAME: Perakp/(Flick Scones) has primed a flashbang for detonation at Chapel (185,134,1).
[19:07:09]EMOTE: Jebidiah Redbull/QuartzCrystal : <B>Jebidiah Redbull</B> seizes up and falls limp, his eyes dead and lifeless...
[19:07:16]SAY: Ghost/RD101 : BOMB SHUTTLE PLS
[19:07:20]GAME: Perakp/(Flick Scones) has primed a flashbang for detonation at Emergency Shuttle (207,137,1).
[19:07:21]SAY: Ghost/F1restorm : ESCAPE ALONE YOU GLORIOUS  BASTARD
[19:07:30]SAY: Molly Slysbern/SpiritOfRevenge : Lynch the flashbanger
[19:07:39]SAY: Ghost/Carakka : How did cap die?
[19:07:54]SAY: Ghost/Ghende3 : shuttle ran him ove
[19:08:00]SAY: Oldman Robustin/ForcefulCJS : Uh bodies are piling up on SW solars room, are we sure all the operinos are dead?
[19:08:23]SAY: Ghost/Nothingness : Too lte to arm it, really.
[19:08:37]SAY: Ghost/Joshalex5 : I really want him to win
[19:08:56]SAY: Ghost/Eu4ia : this op is awful
[19:09:02]SAY: Ghost/Nothingness : He might score a minor victory, or a major one, if he&#39;s quick.
[19:09:06]SAY: Ghost/Durkel : He got farther then all the others
[19:09:16]SAY: Ghost/Joshalex5 : He singlehandedly saved the op from total disaster, im not sure that means he sucks
[19:09:26]SAY: Ghost/Carakka : He&#39;d have to start the nuke right now to have a chance of it detonating in time
[19:10:03]GAME: The nuclear authentication disk has been destroyed in (114, 9 ,7). Moving it to (193, 112, 1).
[19:10:14]SAY: Ghost/Red Lobster : HE WENT OFF THE Z LEVEL
[19:10:16]SAY: Ghost/Nothingness : He has about three minute.
[19:10:17]SAY: Ghost/Eu4ia : OH MY GOD
[19:10:17]SAY: Ghost/Laferioo : &gt;he can&#39;t find it
[19:10:17]SAY: Ghost/Eu4ia : LOL
[19:10:18]SAY: Adam Pryex/Perakp : Where the fuck did we park the ship?
[19:10:19]SAY: Ghost/Eu4ia : LOLOLOLOL
[19:10:19]SAY: Ghost/Durkel : Ayy lmao
[19:10:20]SAY: Ghost/Iamgoofball : ahahahahahahahhahahahaha
[19:10:21]SAY: Ghost/RD101 : TOP KEK
[19:10:22]SAY: Ghost/Joshalex5 : You fucked it
[19:10:23]SAY: Ghost/Laferioo : oh my god
[19:10:24]SAY: Ghost/Eu4ia : GAME OVER
[19:10:25]SAY: Ghost/Eu4ia : GAME OVER
[19:10:27]SAY: Ghost/Laferioo : GAME OVER
[19:10:28]SAY: Ghost/Eu4ia : HJASHAHA
[19:10:30]SAY: Ghost/Red Lobster : THE DISK RESPOND IN RND
[19:10:31]SAY: Ghost/Ghende3 : disk is in rnd
[19:10:34]SAY: Ghost/Higgins McGee : Shiiiiit
[19:10:35]SAY: Ghost/Eu4ia : MY DICK
[19:10:35]SAY: Ghost/Joshalex5 : oh my go &#34;where di we park the ship&#34; holy shit
[19:10:50]SAY: Ghost/Jud1c470r : that poor bastard
[19:10:51]SAY: Ghost/F1restorm : That&#39;s ss13 for you
[19:10:53]SAY: Dortha Morris/Banrax : Fun shift, eh?
[19:10:54]PRAY: Iamgoofball/(Fay Slessgoon): SPACE JESUS, PLEASE GRANT THE NUCLEAR OPERATIVE A COOKIE FOR HIS TROUBLES
[19:11:03]SAY: Ghost/Durkel : Tried so hard and go so far
[19:11:04]SAY: Ghost/Higgins McGee : God that sucks
[19:11:06]SAY: Ghost/Thrilla of Manilla : Dumbass
[19:11:06]SAY: Ghost/Higgins McGee : I&#39;d be so mad
[19:11:22]SAY: Ghost/Thrilla of Manilla : memorize where it is next time knob
[19:11:28]SAY: Ghost/Joshalex5 : And now he dies for nothing
[19:11:32]SAY: Ghost/Joshalex5 : RIP
[19:11:46]SAY: Ghost/Thrilla of Manilla : dude
[19:11:54]SAY: Ghost/Thrilla of Manilla : memorize where shuttle is
[19:11:55]SAY: Ghost/Thrilla of Manilla : knob

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Oldman Robustin
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Oldman Robustin » Wed Jul 08, 2015 4:05 pm #102667

Posting since I'm bored and these stories are in danger of going unrecognized:

1) Department-Gang Mode

2) Utter chaos as the first 3 dominator attempts get swarmed by opposing forces, mass casualties leave the station mostly dead, I eventually fall and get picked up in one of the respawns as "Shat Bottoms".

3) Respawned players quickly succumb to station hazards/heavily armed gangsters, I manage to stick to the shadows and slowly gather equipment
4) Finally get a spacesuit, jetpack, and a laser + taser

5) Psyke (ENGINEERING) Gang drops a dominator on toxins test and fortifies the area, I try to pick a fight with the only defender but my weapons are out of charge and its my baton vs. his Uzi

6) Uzi wins and I fly away with flashing red health and heavy bleeding, can't even heal quickly because most of station is exposed to space and any space damage is likely to crit me... so I have to fly to NE solars room to heal up. All the APC's have lost too much power to charge equipment, so guns stay unpowered for now, but I find an uzi with 4 bullets so I figure why not.

7) Shuttle is coming, but dominator will win before shuttle can reach centcom. Head back to test site and now there are two defenders, my 4 bullets can't handle their double uzi spray so I jetpack away again with flashing red health and heavy bleeding.

8) Heal up once more, refuel jetpack in execution room when I realize I have an engineer ID that I can use to force on recharger power in shattered brig. Hallelujah, I finally have a charged taser and two lasers.

9) I come from above and try to laser the dominator through a window, but it's damn beefy and one of the guys inside is soaking some of the blasts and returning laser fire. Guards start to pour out after me and I now count 5 fully armed Psyke gangsters.

10) My lasers are almost dry so I switch to the taser and sweep around to the other side of the test site and pop a hardsuit engi as he's coming out for me. I drag him toward SW solars and throw some cuffs on him while I strip for guns/gear/supplies. He screams his location and I manage to grab an almost-full uzi before letting him drift off naked.

11) Two guys chasing me near solars but I manage to duck one, CE is chasing me in his jetpack but is overconfident. I fly through a chokepoint between the grille in the solars and hang back as far as I can so he doesn't see me waiting. I tase him as soon as I see him enter the chokepoint and slap my last cuffs on him, only getting a stetckin before reinforcements force me to toss him and run.

12) Now I hiding in space well below the test site calculating my next move. Less than 2 minutes to Psyke gang victory and despite using the HoS console earlier to remind survivors of the dominator location... nobody is responding, only a handful of other crew remain alive.

13) I recall the defensive setup for their dominator which shields it from shots coming from the station side, but guards can still only have one exit.

14) Fly by the dominator and let all the guards see me, then fly to the left directly in-line with the site's only exit path. I then spray my Uzi off-screen like my life depends on it and after about 20 rounds. I fly up to the site and see one psyke guy down and out, another pops his head out to take a shot at me but he was near death and one more shot from my Uzi drops him. I take a couple hits in the process but I'm still at moderate health.

15) Now it's just mano y mano over the fate of the station. The dominator is damaged from my earlier lasering and I figure I got a shot at just blitzing in and unloading on it while the other guy tries to stay behind the cover wall opposite me. I rush in and spray the uzi into the dominator as the last guard runs in a circle after me.

16) Dominator blocks shots from the other guy desperate to stop me at this point, DOWN IT GOES. The final guard and I finally get a clear shot on each other and just fire at each other at nearly point blank range, he drops, but not before pumping me full of lead too.

17) I fly to SW solars room to bandage up one more time. At this point I'm pale and taking stamina damage from moving too much due to blood loss. I make it onto the shuttle where a handful of survivors surround me and threaten me if I mean harm. I strip the sec hardsuit, toss down a half-dozen guns on the floor and proclaim the Psyke gang destroyed and the station safe. We celebrate as the shuttle takes us to Centcom.
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Not-Dorsidarf » Thu Jul 09, 2015 9:23 am #102816

Fukken

Hero
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Oldman Robustin
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Oldman Robustin » Sun Jul 19, 2015 3:36 am #105449

This one I'm not gonna forget.

1) Be scientist, YOU ARE A DOUBLE AGENT. Fuck.

2) First impulse is to load up 6 bombs into 6 satchels, sing cuban pete and then signal the bombs mid-song, but ive done that twice recently and it gets old. I grab all the metal in test science and RND instead...

3) It's Saturday, first antag of the day, fuck it I've got some energy let's tryhard this motherfucker.

4) Can't into RnD anymore so I run to tech storage and ask AI to let me in. Grab autolathe board, insulated gloves, engi sees me run out.

5) Sec arrests me in science and I start flipping my shit, nobody tells me why, eventually someone says I'm wanted for looting tech storage, I scream for the AI to vouch for me, it does, I get released and talk shit to sec.

6) A couple people question what exactly I had taken from Tech Storage, I say "some gloves, and a board for research", people ask the AI what board, AI responds, "One of the board from the top middle rack, it's NOTHING USEFUL"

7) Spit out a few bins and related parts from RND

8) My body is ready. I weld into a walled off section of maint, make a false wall, and start building an autolathe (see where this is going?). I hack the autolathe and begin my ascension into godhood.

9) 285 Delta into the PDA. Revolver pops into my hand. 13 TC's jesus that's expensive. Only one more decent item left... Emag? Implants? Nah... Nah... those will get you ahead in the short term but I'm thinking big... it's thermals time motherfucker.

10) Start pooping .357 ammo out of the autolathe with the 100+ sheets I've put inside.

11) Walk back into science to get a gas mask to cover my thermals, wait... what the fuck... sec officer is coming in. He goes into the science firing range... has the AI been stalking me? Did it report my odd disappearing into test scienece?

12) Fuck this I didn't make this setup to hide and cower from security. I wait for him to walk into the firing range airlock and draw my revolver. I fire three times but I haven't turned off help intent so he blitzes back through me after the first shots and draws his taser firing a couple wild shots toward me. FUCK. He runs around the corner with the one-direction r_glass between us. Fuck this I ain't running. I fire my last 4 shots through the r_glass and he goes down before he can yell for help.

13) I grab the nearby locker and use it to limit the blood trail. Back into the hideout where I quickly strip the jumpsuit, grab a taser, baton, and a nice new sec bowman. I know I'm never going to appear in a lit area again so I don't mind having a few subtle clue that I'm not a friendly scientist, the sec radio is going to be far more helpful.

14) Turn off all the lights in test science, walk into xeno, flip the lights off. Walk inside and there's a confused scientist coming to check the lights. *pop pop* Double tap to the skull is all it takes, into the locker, into the hideout, now I have a new science ID.

15) Murder the toxins scientist, rinse and repeat, starting to raise suspicions with how dark, blood, and quiet science is getting. As I drag the corpse locker through maint I see a greyshirt just hanging around, looking shady and shit. I try to pop open my door and blast him but the angles are all off here and I get one hit off... then FZZZT and he disappears. I just keep running and after a second I realize that the noise was a chameleon projector, sneaky cunt. I leave him behind because I don't have time for that shit and stash the next body.

16) Walk into main science hall, two sec officers and RD sitting outside toxins, one officer sees me at the edge of the light and comes towards me, retreat back into test science directly below the airlock

17) Test science airlock opens, DIE FUCKING COPPERS. Fire directly up 7 times, then step one tile right, reload, and spray the hall some more. Step up and see the airlock officer down. Drag him into another locker, crew finds him on suit sensors before I strip him but "So-and-so dead in science maint" is all that anyone says.

18) Now I'm on a tear in science maint. Atmos techs, assistants, engineers, all wandering through on a very busy round... two pops, into a locker, into the hideout, rinse and repeat. I see my target, the librarian and he's dead before he even see's me. There's a light in the hideout now giving me away so I check his PDA to see if its got a light on and.... oh shit 14 TC's available.

19) After dragging in my 8th kill, I get distracted looting the bodies and suddenly I hear it. The sound of justice hunting me down. WEEEOOOWEEOOOWEEEOOO siren helmet coming... oh well not like he can find me. Tim Ebow rolls up with his siren helmet, and OH SHIT. Since thermals dont let me see tiles more than 2 away, I didn't realize I LEFT THE DOOR OPEN BEHIND ME. FUCK.

20) I hop into the farthest locker and pull out a taser, Tim sees the room and comes in. I'm praying he just walks near my locker without realizing I'm inside. He tosses a flashbang in but the throw doesnt have a clear line on me, I'm not affected thank god. I'm hoping he still doesn't realize I'm there.

21) Tim Ebow says, "I need backup to science maint now" on sec radio. Fuck he's not falling for any of this shit. He must've heard my locker click he's not getting close enough and he's got his taser out, he knows where I am and I'm fucking dead if I don't do something.

22) I'm not willing to leave it to fate to see who gets a taser round first, he's hugging a corner and I'm fucking dead if I try to just run at him to turn the corner. What the fuck do I do, there's another closed locker in front of me so I can't even rush him... THINK THINK how do I get out of this shit?!
I do the crazy. I remember the Librarian PDA I had put in my bag, pop out an adrenal implant, then I have to fucking OPEN THE LOCKER and click myself, then close it again all just a few tiles away. He sees me but doesn't budge. It's now or never DO OR DIE. YAAAAAAH

23) Rush out with my taser, he uses the corner line of sight to pop me as soon as I get close. I let him have a moment to think I'm down for good, he puts up the taser and gets a baton out, stuns again, time for cuffs. Here we go. IMPLANT GO! I get up but he's not phased, I go down again but I pop it again and get right back up, this time I get some distance and pull out my own baton, THIS IS IT!

24) BZZZZT! Down Tim goes. I draw the revolver and put 3 rounds into his skull before he can say anything else. I pry off that accursed helmet and turn it off. I immediately slide shut the door and locker his body, sec is swarming the area. 4 officers all on my screen combing the area, chatting on comms, I'm trying not to piss myself.

25) And we're clear. Sec gets bored and leaves, I strip the jumpsuits, I'm considering using the last Librarian TC to make a voice changer to be Tim saying its all clear, but radio is down now and Captain is recall spamming despite the station going to shit, so I get an EMP implant just for borgs and further sec shootouts.

26) Murderbone continues on the maint-lurkers, it's DA so everyone seems to be strolling by after reports of a fight there. I've got 6 lockers stuffed with bodies in my hideout and I can't fit anymore, I just have to leave the bodies out now... lots of blood trails too and I'm ankle deep in empty casings in my base.

27) Sec officers in test science, he's real fucking suspicious of all the blood, one of my kills didn't have a locker around so i just drug him straight in through the firing range. I see him breaking the glass to get in, I tighten the bolts on my north exit and then flank south. It's all dark except for his PDA light, I open the door below him, he doesn't even know I'm there, POP POP POP. The sec bodycount continues.

28) Going through maint after replacing some of my discharged weapons and reloading in my god-tier autolathe.

29) See a dead officer directly below test science in an open locker... I don't remember killing this guy....da fuk. *FSSSZZT*
That greyshirt DA from before, Hugo, pops out of a fucking cigarette and fires at me with an ebow, I dodge and spray a taser back at him. I've got the upper hand with better weapons and an adrenal, but we stand off and talk. He realized im not his target, I say I got no interest in murdering another syndicate... so we team up. Perfect timing too, someone runs up below xenobio and sees me standing next to this other deadsec. He screams our location before I make his head more aerodynamic. Despite the station being a pure shitshow by now with at least 4 officers and 6 crew dead in science maint alone... there's a big response to those screams.

30) The valid hunters swarm, but the path below xenobio is one big straight shot. Greyshirts, Doctors, HoP, Engineers, Cargo Techs, all come streaming down maint toward us. Me and the Ebow DA line up our sights on the long narrow hall and proceed to obliterate the lynch mob. As I burn through an entire bag of revolver ammo, all I hear is the nonstop pop-pop of stainless steel : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DMf7WyK ... tu.be&t=27

31) They all die, every last one. It's a fucking bloodbath. I locker up as many bodies as I can and tell Hugo to follow me. He has to wait and heal with one of the dead medic's kits and loses me for a bit.

32) I PDA him and he catches up, I give him access to my loot hoard and goes to work stripping and snagging. I see the HoS and Detective in test science and ready up for one more fight.

33) Go down below my hideout, find the longest stretch of maint I can, and wait in the darkness. and wait. Finally I see the detective leading, as soon as the turns the corner, POP POP POP. I retreat to make sure HoS doesn't have a shot on me and the HoS is chasing, right on my ass, stop at the next corner (singuloth was loose and taking its toll) and tase him as he comes around it. Before he can utter a word I put 4 into his skull, gather the bodies in an 02 locker, an assistant and engi see the scene just as I reloaded and they were dispatched quickly.

34) Get HoS and Det bodies back into hideout, shuttle is one minute away and I'm not even bothering to hide the other corpses now, sec's wiped out. Hugo takes the HoS gear and we agree to go for arrivals pod. I weld back into test science and the thermals blind me (derp), so we run to arrivals together, me completely blind, and I'm running through a mangled station ripped open by the singularity. We make it to arrivals and one pod is completely open to space and the other is welded shut. I removing the welding but the wires are cut too and I didn't bring a multitool. It only occurs to me with 15 seconds left that I could C4 the door but it was too late, we jumped into the space-pod (no walls, but still chairs) right as it launched.

35) I'm dying, I ask Hugo if he's got any medkit gear but he's just used the last brute pack on himself. My last words to him are "epipen me". As I slip into crit, I feel a tiny prick... the epipen just barely keeps me from death as we land and glorious greentext awaits.


TL;DR Version: I make a hideout in maint with a revolver, thermals, and a stuffed autolathe. I break all the lights in the area and go on a rampage, wiping out all of security and at least 10 crew members. I team up with another double agent and by the time we leave, almost a third of the station is dead in a 3x3 area of maint. The bodycount is tremendous, blood and bulletcasings everywhere... and against all odds we escape alive.
Last edited by Oldman Robustin on Mon Jul 20, 2015 4:44 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Mister_Doc » Sun Jul 19, 2015 3:48 am #105450

God damn, I wondered who was murderboning sec that round. Yeah sec was a shitshow that round, no one would fucking communicate.
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Not-Dorsidarf » Sun Jul 19, 2015 4:06 pm #105519

There's a reason he's known as Oldman Robustin' , not ForcefulCJS
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby IcePacks » Mon Jul 20, 2015 1:12 am #105650

don't feed forcefulcjs's authorityboner, you'll just be more disappointed when he hurls you under the bus to cover up the other millions of times he's fucked up

>flukes
>i'm the leader
>alright idiots here's the plan
>i get a maruader, the rest of you fuck around or something i don't give a shit
>we teleport in
>to the courtroom, i'm an idiot
>someone spots us
>facefuck him in my giant murderbot
>flukes breach the brig
>from both sides (my plan)
>kill the warden (who has the ion but nowhere to go)
>walk back out in the hallway
>my fellow flukes are getting wrecked
>dakka dakka dakka
>kill a coupla spessmen
>"NOT-PAX WHERE ARE YOU"
>"MRGRHH BLRGGH"
>"MARRGHER KRRLIGH ERGHYWERGH"
>forget my objective
>pesky ai keeps trying to stop me
>breach the fuck out of the hallway
>gunning shit down while the crewmen try to robust my god-mech
>discover scattershot isn't as useless as i was lead to believe
>world becomes a blur

>keep shooting them spessmens
>i am now tits-deep in murderous bits of target practice
>flounder around shooting everything in sight
>reload
>keep firing my missile racks
>WEEOOO WEEEOOO
>my mobility is fucked
>i'm fucked
>keep shooting while trying to move
>nuking my own mech now trying to kill them spessmen
>big fat fucking smile on my face
>make it into the dorms; the mech seems to want to run away
>mech destroyed
>expire happily surrounded by friends
OOC: Deitus: tfw RL porn doesnt sexually excite me anymore

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby lumipharon » Mon Jul 20, 2015 1:31 am #105664

Scatter shot is like, 20 brute + fuckloads of stam damage.
At point blank range that's 80 brute and enugh stamina damage to leave you assfucked till sun rise.
Great for when the rabble are running around trying to dodge your bullets.

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby peoplearestrange » Mon Jul 20, 2015 1:44 pm #105834

Oldman Robustin wrote:This one I'm not gonna forget.
-snip-


That was an epic read... Nice story, good to see you live up to your name still.
Whatever
Spoiler:
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This is my moment, what are you doing?!

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callanrockslol wrote:all you have to do is ban shitters until the playbase improves/ceases to exist, whichever comes first.

IM TRYING

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confused rock wrote:...its like if we made fire extinguishers spawn in emergency boxes and have them heal you when you put out fires rather than them being in wall storages...


Are you having a stroke

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Laharl Monthy » Mon Jul 20, 2015 2:16 pm #105850

14) Turn off all the lights in test science, walk into xeno, flip the lights off. Walk inside and there's a confused scientist coming to check the lights. *pop pop* Double tap to the skull is all it takes, into the locker, into the hideout, now I have a new science ID.


I was that scientist. You made me sad, I was so looking forward discovering Xenobio. =C

Apart from that, nice job. Poor Tim, tho, he came so close!

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby DemonFiren » Mon Jul 20, 2015 3:05 pm #105858

Laharl, if there's something you want to learn...play Basil.
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non-lizard things:
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Oldman Robustin » Mon Jul 20, 2015 4:29 pm #105902

lumipharon wrote:Scatter shot is like, 20 brute + fuckloads of stam damage.
At point blank range that's 80 brute and enugh stamina damage to leave you assfucked till sun rise.
Great for when the rabble are running around trying to dodge your bullets.


Shot splitting is incredibly weird and I have difficulty getting even point blank shots to deal the full 80 brute.

A couple weeks ago I ended up flying my marauder directly into the shuttle cockpit after repairing it to 100%. Crew flooded the cockpit but despite blasting that scatter into what should have been a slaughter, I noticed almost nobody was staying down... I even asked about a healing virus because I couldn't comprehend why the HoP who was just sitting there baton'ing my mech got up 3 times after going down, same story for all the other rushers, by the time the mech busted and I flew back out into space... I noticed that only a handful of crew were down in crit.

The stamina damage on it is a downside IMO, scattershot is for dealing with large crowds... ensuring that you continue to do damage until they're down for good is the best way to proceed as an AWWWPERATIVE, but the stamina damage has you constantly going "Wait are they down from the brute or down due to stamina"? Them going down due to stam damage is an awful drawback when you know you could shoot them to crit in 3-4 blasts but instead they go down after each blast and you have to either punch them to death or just wait for them to get back up.

Laharl Monthy wrote:
14) Turn off all the lights in test science, walk into xeno, flip the lights off. Walk inside and there's a confused scientist coming to check the lights. *pop pop* Double tap to the skull is all it takes, into the locker, into the hideout, now I have a new science ID.


I was that scientist. You made me sad, I was so looking forward discovering Xenobio. =C

Apart from that, nice job. Poor Tim, tho, he came so close!


Sorry, I didn't want to just run through the station and murder people minding their own business, but I knew that you might be able to hear/report the gunshots and I wasn't too keen on a golem army showing up either.


A couple short stories now:

1) Be toxins scientist

2) Make a maxcap because toxins scientist

3) Lizard advertising totally legitimate surgery in arrivals, have an idea.

4) Hack the tool machine and make my bomb voice activated. The ghetto surgery team manages to shove the bomb into my chest without even blinking an eye. I thank them, depart, and put in a good word for them on radio.

5) Zzzzzz semi-AFK in dorms, nothing happening.

6) 19-9-19-99 CHA CHA HAPPAN, ok AI's looking a little fucked. Delta time: 380.

7) Go to EVA because I figure that gets me to the core fastest, lockdown initiates. Detective Emily Ranger shows up and says "I guess we had the same idea"

8) We smash into EVA together and get our suit+jetpack combo, smash into arrivals through asst. storage and throw ourselves out the airlock as lockdown ends.

9) We scoot to the core as fast as possible but time is burning and we're down to like 100 at this point.

10) No idea what's going on in Sat Lobby, but below the core there's a lone atmosian trying to hack in but he's still got 1.5 r_walls to go. Only one minute left. Emily and I huddle up, I've got a bomb in my chest and thats the only way we've got a shot at this, I will detonate it and then you run in and finish the AI if my explosion doesn't.

11) Implanting bombs is fun, but here it forced me to give my life for the crew. I shoo the atmosian away and give a thumbs up to Emily. 50 seconds.

12) Mutter the code phrase. A single tear rolls down my cheek as time comes to a stop, and then there's nothing. 40 seconds.

13) The AI survives the blast, but it's damaged badly and its APC is destroyed so it can no longer shunt. 30 seconds.

14) Emily finally approaches the blast site and surveys it, she sees that the AI is still alive. 20 seconds.

15) As Emily draws her weapon, the AI reveals the ace up its sleeve... Pingsky flies out from the darkness, baton set on Emily. Emily does her best to juke but it maneuvers in space as though it were on solid ground. 10 seconds.

16) Emily finally gets Pingsky caught in some debris and circles back to the AI, draws her trusty revolver, and unloads into the AI. 6 seconds.

17) Bluescreen. The AI has been destroyed and the station saved.

and a bonus:

1) Fluketime

2) Stealthsops, camerabug, teleporter board.... and a lot of bickering over individual tactics.

3) Put on my Oldman Robustin ID card and suddenly the team is more amicable to letting me be the infiltrator.

4) Plant radio-camera bug on SE solar cam. Bring bug back for the rest of the team to help scout. Fly back in and put the black suit/jetpack into my satchel... I'm now Oldman Robustin, Atmospheric Technician with a voice changer and everything.

5) Grab a beacon from arrivals, standard plan: I find the disk, say the word, BOOM OPS, get dat fuken disk and exfiltrate.

6) Start scouting with the pinpointer, its near robotics, weird. Escape is super busy though. As I leave medbay maint I bump into the HoS, blocking his way with my disarm intent, and bumping him back out into the hall. I say "Hey" just to make it clear I'm just Oldman Robustin and not Schmitty GETDATFUKENDISK. I'm also nervous as fuck because the HoS is just staring me down now.

7) HoS silently moves on and I get in position. Emag into science below robotics and realize the disk is in Science Server.

8) Impulse trumps instinct and I emag the door hoping that the disk will just be sitting there.

9) Of course not, there's a security lizard inside and we both look equally shocked to see each other. He runs toward me and I step back and draw my Stechkin.

10) I unload into him but he breaks past me while I try to put him down as fast as I can. Finally enough rounds connect that he drops below robotics. He managed to say "RND" on radio before going into crit. Nobody notices.

11) Drag the body into maint and sprint for the SE solars. Strip the body and get dat disk.

12) I'd been providing regular updates but had been silent for about a minute, the camera bug was probing sec and didn't see what happened. I fly onto the shuttle with a dead lizard in tow.

13) "Change of Plan", grab the nuke and I'm off again, fellow ops realize what happened.

14) I can barely contain myself as I arm the nuke. CODE DELTA. Followed by a steam of shock and profanity on radio, then finger-pointing, blaming, confusion, etc... delicious.

15) We all fly back to the outpost and get shitfaced celebrating the smoothest nuke operation ever.
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby John_Oxford » Mon Jul 20, 2015 9:07 pm #105949

Oldman Robustin wrote:
lumipharon wrote:-SNIP-


Can confirm, we all bought fancy attack gear, the plan was to hit a non existant captain on the bridge. Oldman hard carried the entire team. No one but him fired a single round, or threw a single grenade. Oldman 4 Syndi Commander

>get nook ops
>disgunbegud.gif
>bitch in lobby about the plan
>cam bug teleport plan
>whatever man.exe
>ask what i'm supposed to do, get told i'm going to push a nuke through the teleporter
>get combat medic gear, get ready to wreck shit
>oldman comes back with the disk, takes that shit off, arms the nuke, and we fly off
>no one knows what the fuck happened
>we only know that oldman rekt'd shit
>is was good game that round
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TechnoAlchemist wrote:you where always right john, you where always right

>implying the admin conspiracy wasen't just confirmed by a admin.
see, i told you motherfuckers.

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I don't even know what the fuck tg is.

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby dionysus24779 » Mon Jul 20, 2015 10:35 pm #105972

> Be Assistant
> Be borged as usual
> Take sec module
> Be happy about fancy new flashlight
> Admin not so happy about me being happy, apperantly talking about newly added or removed functionality isn't okay, though I think it's pretty in-character for a borg to talk about this. But anyway...
> Be robocop secborg
> Get order to capture miner in mining dock who killed the clown
> AI did a good job at locking him between airlocks so it's trivial with a few well times disabler shots
> Another miner appears and starts whailing on me, mean!
> Capture another miner and request aid because too many prisoners to transport
> Another miner appears in a Ripley, is at first amused by my honking but then attacks me...
> Alright... taking on a Ripley, not the first, not the last!
> Ripley destroyed, third miner taken in... also finally help arrived.
> Apperantly two of these three miners are gang leaders and since brig was blown up by a bomb we get execute orders... oh well...
> Sometime later Security/Command suddenly seems to turn on us... dunno why but other two borgs die but I manage to get them to robotics who still has a sane person in it and revives them
> Meanwhile there have been some attempts to subvert silicons, sadly under the impression that we were asimov, thus making a few human this and that declarations, though we were robocop
> Dominator gets activated in AI upload, AI says to destroy it
> Roll into bridge with a big "Hello beloved allies!" and everything and roll into upload to "protect" the dominator
> Smash it to pieces...
> Amusing salt over radio
> Realize that I won't be able to leave alive, AI already tells me it was a good sacrifice
> Just when I had a simple plan to escape I get blown... well, was just a matter of time really, not mad.
> Waiting for round to end after second dominator was fired up
> Crew attempted to enter upload multiple times, dunno if they wanted to save me or wanted to use the upload...

Still, was a nice round.

[Common] Happi Futur says, "WOW"
[Common] Happi Futur says, "JUST WOW"
[Common] Happi Futur says, "YOU FORGOT TO SUBVERT THE AI"
[Common] Adam Pryex asks, "What's up?"
[Common] Happi Futur says, "THE BORG WALTZED IN THE UPLOAD"
[Common] Eric King says, "Is the station saved, or fucked? Make up your mind"
[Common] Happi Futur says, "AND DESTROYED THE DOMINATOR"
[Common] Happi Futur yells, "CONGRATULATIONS!!"
[Common] Triskelion states, "Honk..."
[Common] Happi Futur yells, "CONGRATULATIONS!!!!!!!!!!!"


Oh also it was a Gang round with SIX gangs.

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lumipharon
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby lumipharon » Mon Jul 20, 2015 11:18 pm #105993

All scatter weapons (scatter shot/buckshot etc) scatters MORE if you click close to you, and scatters LESS if you click far away from you.

Scattershot on a mech lets you spam a few volleys into a room, then change to ac2 to kill, or mech punch.

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dionysus24779
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby dionysus24779 » Tue Jul 21, 2015 12:55 pm #106184

lumipharon wrote:All scatter weapons (scatter shot/buckshot etc) scatters MORE if you click close to you, and scatters LESS if you click far away from you.

Scattershot on a mech lets you spam a few volleys into a room, then change to ac2 to kill, or mech punch.


Interesting, but wrong thead lumi~

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Oldman Robustin » Tue Jul 21, 2015 3:29 pm #106218

dionysus24779 wrote:
lumipharon wrote:All scatter weapons (scatter shot/buckshot etc) scatters MORE if you click close to you, and scatters LESS if you click far away from you.

Scattershot on a mech lets you spam a few volleys into a room, then change to ac2 to kill, or mech punch.


Interesting, but wrong thead lumi~


I had mentioned scatterspread issues in one of my posts here.

It's still really unintuitive, if I want to wreck people with scattershot I need to click 5 tiles behind them instead of directly on them/in front of them because otherwise the spread will be too wide.
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NikNakFlak
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby NikNakFlak » Tue Jul 21, 2015 3:42 pm #106219

>Bagil
>30 pop crew, wow a new record.
>Log on late and just observe around
>an immovable rod tears through the entire station diagonally from left to right.
>Suddenly another rod going straight through the armory all down to escape rips through too
>and again
>and again
>SPACE LOOPPPPP RODDDDD
>Everyone gathers around it
>It claims a victim above the bridge
>clown PDA in a pile of rubble
>people slip on PDA in the path of the Rod
>they get up
>WAMMM ROD TO THE FACE
>CMO on the bridge looking at the path wondering
>WAM ANOTHER VICTIM
>A miner and another dude slip on the Clown PDA in the rubble
>They get up
>D-D-D-DOUBLE KILL
>It claims another victim just randomly
>Borg tries to wall the path off as another person puts up holotape
>Rod continues until the end of the round
>wonder what happens if an immovable rod hits a singularity...
>spawn academy singularity
>WAM
>nothing happens
>Rod kill count was over half the crew that round and sometimes after it killed someone, it went back for seconds.
>SPACE LOOPPP RODDDD
REDACTED
pm for deets

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lumipharon
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby lumipharon » Tue Jul 21, 2015 10:22 pm #106296

>Centcuck annouce to the crew that we need to do a massive fetch quest or get nuked
>huge ass shopping list with all sorts of retarded shit
>people start piling crap on the centcomm shuttle
>I steal the QM stamp, and use it to make a QM cape
>announce that "someone" destroyed the QM stamp
>despair is rife
>M-Maybe we can rename another stamp and they won't notice?
>M-Maybe we can put ALL the stamps in and they'll not nuke us?
>Crew are feeble cucks, time to save the station

>Tell the crew over comms that we can setup containment AROUND the vault, and start up the singularity inside, destroying the nuke
>half the crew call me idiots, but engineering, the AI, captain and security believe in me
>Kekhi the AI orders all the shit we need from cargo
>engineers setup containment neatly around the vault
>Some centcomm shill tries to stop us, steals the PA crate
>get a new crate
>setup the PA below the vault, on the otherside of the corridor
>random cucks hit containment and get cooked medium rare
>finally get the PA up and running
>PA is firing across the corridor
>singularity starts up
>nuke gets eaten
>half the crew is still filling the centcomm ferry
>people keep running into the PA beam and/or getting pulled into containment by the singulo
>radiation pouring into the corridor too
>no fucks given, we saved the station from centcomm
>centcuck annouce it was all a ruse

>escape shuttle arrives
>there's another nuke on it
>it goes delta mid flight
>half the crew jump ship to escape
>it was a dud also

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Luke Cox
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Luke Cox » Tue Jul 21, 2015 10:43 pm #106302

lumipharon wrote:>Centcuck annouce to the crew that we need to do a massive fetch quest or get nuked
>huge ass shopping list with all sorts of retarded shit
>people start piling crap on the centcomm shuttle
>I steal the QM stamp, and use it to make a QM cape
>announce that "someone" destroyed the QM stamp
>despair is rife
>M-Maybe we can rename another stamp and they won't notice?
>M-Maybe we can put ALL the stamps in and they'll not nuke us?
>Crew are feeble cucks, time to save the station

>Tell the crew over comms that we can setup containment AROUND the vault, and start up the singularity inside, destroying the nuke
>half the crew call me idiots, but engineering, the AI, captain and security believe in me
>Kekhi the AI orders all the shit we need from cargo
>engineers setup containment neatly around the vault
>Some centcomm shill tries to stop us, steals the PA crate
>get a new crate
>setup the PA below the vault, on the otherside of the corridor
>random cucks hit containment and get cooked medium rare
>finally get the PA up and running
>PA is firing across the corridor
>singularity starts up
>nuke gets eaten
>half the crew is still filling the centcomm ferry
>people keep running into the PA beam and/or getting pulled into containment by the singulo
>radiation pouring into the corridor too
>no fucks given, we saved the station from centcomm
>centcuck annouce it was all a ruse

>escape shuttle arrives
>there's another nuke on it
>it goes delta mid flight
>half the crew jump ship to escape
>it was a dud also

I'm sad they didn't send in a deathsquad. I distributed every last combat item in sec and was ready to fight.
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Anonmare » Thu Jul 23, 2015 11:25 am #106787

>Be a mime
>Oh I didn't want that guess I'll go be a memery wom- Lolno you're a tator tot go kill this cook for no raisin at all
>Find the cook. They say hi before going brain dead.
>Hate to kill braindeads but it is a good opportunity
>Drag them to the backstage, strip the headset + cable-tie and strangle them to death
>Hide the body in a locker and hide the locker in the incinerator blast doors

>About an hour passes...

>Reports of sabotage all over the station, spent the time trying to win prizes in the arcade to surprise people with but no such luck
>Ask for cargo access from the Head of Cuckolding
>There was a syndie supply shuttle hijack earlier so there's a few bodies around
>Inspiration strikes on what to do for the remaining time
>Strip the armour and uniform from one guy, emag shuttle console and get a (I think) Spy bundle (Chameleon jumpsuit, Syndie pistol + suppressor, Agent ID and two spare mags)
>Name the ID Syndicate Operative (Operative)
>Buy a voice changer and Syndie key too to make it authentic and a Cham Projector for sneaking around
>Give myself some made up objectives with the ultimate goal being getting that fukken Disk

>Steal a Sec HUD and bowman from the Arrivals checkpoint for flashbang protection, no implants so I really wanted to be careful
>Avoid people for a while, get spotted a few times but some people must have thought I was just a cargo tech being a meme with Operative clothing
>See one of my "targets" and gun them down silently
>Hide in case someone saw me
>Go back to get the body but someone was already taking ti to be cloned

>Round goes on like that for a while with everyone wising up that the Syndie OP hiding in everywhere wasn't just for fun
>Some people get close to tasing me but I gun them down or hide before they can get me
>Try contacting SyndiceComm for !fun! but no dice. Ask for nuke codes 4noraisin
>Find Saiga, the Captain, in cargo when I went there to try and re-supply
>Warned her not to pull a taser in me if she wanted to live
>She does it anyway and I gun her down
>Comms call out her position so I try to strip the body and take it to my emagged crusher
>The Head of Cuckolding had been dogging me for a while and had finally caught up with me
>Had me tased in Security maintenance and prepared myself for a dishonourable death but a M Night shyamalandingdong twist occurs
>The RD that had been helping him pulls out a revolver and shoots him in the back
>Helps me up and helps me crush and space the bodies (Which was pointless since there was an autocloner but I didn't know about it)
>We leave maintenance and I see my target from earlier I gun them down but I was running low on ammo and took something of a beating (the revolver Gio, the RD, used to save me also hit me so I was also bleeding)
>Get separated from the RD and take refuge in security to heal my wounds
>Down to my last two mags
>Go to check the Monitoring console in the brig for the RD's position but a couple of goons raiding the armoury for supplies to take me down make me run off

>I lead them on a chase as the shuttle docks with the station and I'm down to my last few 10mm rounds
>Use the pin-pointer to find the Disk
>Make my way to arrivals as the shuttle docks with the station
>A Clown is there getting in the Escape pod
>I point the pistol at them and tell them to get out
>He obliges and I weld the door behind me and emag it
>Good thinking on my part as the Greysuit patrol unweld the door and try to hack it but realise too late it's emagged and there wouldn't be enough time to decon it
>Escape with greentext and a bonus objective

As it turned out later, the person I tried to kill twice managed to survive and the RD got caught hiding in the escape shuttle suit storage. RIP RD, I will never forget your sudden but inevitable betrayal of the Head of Cuckolding
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Valiantttt » Thu Jul 23, 2015 6:46 pm #106860

>I am the assistant. Muhammed Al-is-Nis
>looking in maint for a leather overcoat
>in southern engineering maint.
>see red hardsuit with jetpack speeding bye
>oh shit my valids oh shit ops
>scream on radio
>go to armory for my taser and laser gun
>go to eva once gravity is out, grab eva suit and jetpack
>hunting ops, spot them in atmos
>tfw all my taser shots get deflected
>go to science, see captain dead. Chaplain passed pinpointer
>recharging gu- DELTA SECURITY ALERT
>go to solars west of engineering
>1 nuke op with unbolted nuke
>try tasering but fucking eshield
>pull away nuke, nuke op pulls away too
>eventually manage to wrestle nuke off him.
>fly off Z level with jetpack whilst pulling nuke
>allah akbar
>nuke goes off
>no text, just round being ended

Fluke ops didnt know you couldnt anchor to catwalks. glorious filled jetpack

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby mercenaryblue » Fri Jul 24, 2015 12:46 am #106892

No one would remember how it happened. How the station would had fallen to darkness. No one would do anything. No one would challenge the mech, no one would challenge its power, or so the syndicate believed.

Twenty floors under the dark streets of the brig, the HoP lived in a run-down tenement. An eccentric and brilliant man, the HoP was a loner, a thinker, a man of ideas.
Ideas forbidden in Security's society. The society for which he worked. The society in which he lived. The society that he would set free.

And so the HoP worked, far into the night, when the watchful eyes of Security's robots weren't upon him.
He'd set his skillful hands to the task of recruiting an army to bring about change, to empower the clowns to bring freedom, to bring hope a man to save the station.
Twelve minutes the HoP worked and on a cold night in the year 200X, the Clown Army was born.
A perfect army, an unbeatable clownery, hell-bent on slipping every evil standing between man and freedom, built for one purpose, to destroy the evil army of Syndicate Nuke Ops. Ready, willing, prepared to fight.


And as the smoke cleared!
The Mech rose above the countless corpses remaining. Willie was wounded, on his last peel, struggling to remain standing as the syndicate ordered the final attack.
The death of the Ol' Shoe Snatching Man.

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby peoplearestrange » Fri Jul 24, 2015 11:13 am #106982

mercenaryblue wrote:
Spoiler:
No one would remember how it happened. How the station would had fallen to darkness. No one would do anything. No one would challenge the mech, no one would challenge its power, or so the syndicate believed.

Twenty floors under the dark streets of the brig, the HoP lived in a run-down tenement. An eccentric and brilliant man, the HoP was a loner, a thinker, a man of ideas.
Ideas forbidden in Security's society. The society for which he worked. The society in which he lived. The society that he would set free.

And so the HoP worked, far into the night, when the watchful eyes of Security's robots weren't upon him.
He'd set his skillful hands to the task of recruiting an army to bring about change, to empower the clowns to bring freedom, to bring hope a man to save the station.
Twelve minutes the HoP worked and on a cold night in the year 200X, the Clown Army was born.
A perfect army, an unbeatable clownery, hell-bent on slipping every evil standing between man and freedom, built for one purpose, to destroy the evil army of Syndicate Nuke Ops. Ready, willing, prepared to fight.


And as the smoke cleared!
The Mech rose above the countless corpses remaining. Willie was wounded, on his last peel, struggling to remain standing as the syndicate ordered the final attack.
The death of the Ol' Shoe Snatching Man.

That was... EPIC! Wow nice writing. I feel like this needs to be read by a deep British narration voice to something similar to the war of the worlds sound track...
Whatever
Spoiler:
oranges wrote:singulo.io is the center point of rational and calm debate, where much of tg's issues are worked out in a fun and family friendly environment

miggles wrote:it must have been quite the accomplishment, killing a dead butterfly

WeeYakk wrote:If you take a step back from everything watching the community argue janitor related changes is one of the most surreal and hilarious things about this game. Four pages of discussing the merits of there being too much or too little dirt in a video game.

Operative wrote:Vote PAS for headmin! Get cucked and feel good getting cucked.

TheNightingale wrote:I want to get off Mr. Scones's Wild Ride...

NikNakFlak wrote:Excuse you, I was doing intentional bug testing for the well being of the server. I do not make mistakes.

Fragnostic wrote:stop cucking the first shitshow ever that revolved around me.
This is my moment, what are you doing?!

Anonmare wrote:Oranges gestures at the thread, it shudders and begins to move!

Saegrimr wrote:
callanrockslol wrote:all you have to do is ban shitters until the playbase improves/ceases to exist, whichever comes first.

IM TRYING

Screemonster wrote:hellmoo is the mud for grown adults who main reaper in overwatch

Kor wrote:
confused rock wrote:...its like if we made fire extinguishers spawn in emergency boxes and have them heal you when you put out fires rather than them being in wall storages...


Are you having a stroke

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby dionysus24779 » Tue Jul 28, 2015 3:32 pm #107789

My very first round as a Gang leader and my third (really second) gang round overall.

> Be Roboticist
> Gang leader! Whooo first time ever!
> No idea what I'm doing...
> Well I understand enough to prick that assistant that wanted to be borged, maybe he can help?
> Try to promote him by giving him that spare device thingy though he seems unsure on how it works
> Prick other Assistant too and manage to summon some spraycans to give to them
> Start to tag a few places around science, 'cause why not
> Use up points to buy awesome sounding martial arts scroll but the combos don't seem to really work that well or I just did it wrong
> Oh hey a scientist in toxins I haven't seen before, I guess I should convert him too
> Scientist asks " *gasp* Why you have a spraycan?"
> Me "To give paintjobs to borgs?"
> No roleplay here, Scientist be like "OMG GANG IN SCIENCE!"
> Science gets stormed, Clown-vigilante beats me into crit
> Get healed in medbay but in cuffs by Warden
> Warden drags me to interrogation
> Hits me over the head once to see if I'm deconverting... then proceeds to just kill me.

Love it. :honk:

Was still fun, kind of like I expected it to go.

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Xhuis
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Xhuis » Tue Jul 28, 2015 4:57 pm #107804

>join sybil for the first time in a month
>you are le atmos tech
>set up atmos and wander aimlessly
>"WIZARD ON BRIDGE"
>go to bridge
>wizard has some weird green sword i haven't seen before
>summons a pirate
>chase down the pirate and kill them
>proclaim "wizard down" over comms
>suddenly i see a copy of the wizard
>and another
>and another
>thefuck.jpg
>run like hell
>mob of people swarms the group of clones and takes their swords and starts summoning copies of themselves
>HOLYSHIT.jpg
>book it the fuck away
>get cornered by a swarm of the wizard's clones
>killed by multiverse swords
>almost immediately after i die i appear as a clone of davon something wearing cultist robes and a multiverse sword
>cool.jpg
>see my objectives are to stop the swarm of clones
>start culling the herd of wizard clones
>die valiantly in battle
>respawn immediately as another clone of davon wearing a clown outfit
>no enemies nearby, hide my sword and start honking my bike horn
>start collecting multiverse swords from the fallen
>backpack full of multiverse swords
>medkit full of multiverse swords
>put on a pirate bandana and go towards escape
>SUMMONMAGIC.jpg
>mindswap and forcewall
>keep going to escape
>mob of hostile clones, but i act like a normal clown and they let me live
>hang around
>suddenly
>Howe Useless has thrown the tank transfer valve!
>FUCK.jpg
>book it away and barely survive the explosion
>somehow make it onto the shuttle with another discombobulated clone
>suddenly howe comes onto the shuttle, barely alive
>Howe Useless has thrown the tank transfer valve!
>FUCK NOT AGAIN
>start screaming at the hos to let me in and that i'll give him my super sekrit sword stash
>bomb goes off
>still alive
>entire shuttle is gone
>hordes of dead clones in the middle
>hos won't let me in
>i know what i must do
>grab my sword
>summon a clone of myself
>go into crit but the clone dream lives on
>round ends
>clones were chain-summoning more clones so they would never die
>meme/10
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I don't play, code, or participate in the community, but I occasionally post dumb stuff in the hut.
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Not-Dorsidarf
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Not-Dorsidarf » Tue Jul 28, 2015 5:32 pm #107814

The clones on the shuttle didn't greentext in that round, there was a catatonic zombie sitting on a plating out of sight.

And going into the bridge was pointless, since the windows were blown out too (along with the wall you could have walked through)
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Jacough » Tue Jul 28, 2015 7:31 pm #107833

A couple of nights ago I fucked with some extremely unrobust security as a clown without meaning to
> join as a second clown
> walk into bar
> see some dude sitting at a table
> grab lipstick, slip him, and put lipstick on him
> walk back into the hall
> guy screams for help over the radio in all caps, probably thinking I was going to kill him
> hallway is busy
> a couple of security officers come rushing
> tase me, wait to be cuffed
> officer can't seem to do it
> get back up, honk my horn
> they try to tase me, hit some random people
> Don't even bother running, just stand there honking and getting pushed and swapped around by random people in the hallway
> security finally manages to arrest me after stunning almost everyone in the area except me
> get five minutes in the slammer for putting lipstick on a person and not resisting arrest
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Killbasa » Wed Jul 29, 2015 1:27 am #107910

Not-Dorsidarf wrote:The clones on the shuttle didn't greentext in that round, there was a catatonic zombie sitting on a plating out of sight.

And going into the bridge was pointless, since the windows were blown out too (along with the wall you could have walked through)


I was SO close to that greentext, all my clones had to do was check the rest of the shuttle.
I play Trevor Glomps/Tire Justice.

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Cheimon » Fri Jul 31, 2015 2:14 am #108587

> Observing
> There's a cult, slowly gathering power
> Watch for a bit, waiting to see if there's any action
> Someone decides they're setting up a supermatter engine
> Shard is delivered
> Crew freaks out
> Cyborg decides to drag it into space
> Appears to be going towards escape
> Someone slams the borg into the shard, it's gone
> More people run into the shard
> Under its own power, the shard slowly drifts down the starboard hallway
> Like the shark from jaws, it is avoidable
> Avoidable but unflappable
> More and more crew wander into the shard
> CE runs smack into it
> Eventually the shard is spaced, but it has claimed 13 lives
> 13 kills from a mostly inanimate object
> tfw shard was more deadly than the cult

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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby peoplearestrange » Fri Jul 31, 2015 2:56 pm #108667

Cheimon wrote:
Spoiler:
> Observing
> There's a cult, slowly gathering power
> Watch for a bit, waiting to see if there's any action
> Someone decides they're setting up a supermatter engine
> Shard is delivered
> Crew freaks out
> Cyborg decides to drag it into space
> Appears to be going towards escape
> Someone slams the borg into the shard, it's gone
> More people run into the shard
> Under its own power, the shard slowly drifts down the starboard hallway
> Like the shark from jaws, it is avoidable
> Avoidable but unflappable
> More and more crew wander into the shard
> CE runs smack into it
> Eventually the shard is spaced, but it has claimed 13 lives
> 13 kills from a mostly inanimate object
> tfw shard was more deadly than the cult

This, this why I love the SM shard.
Whatever
Spoiler:
oranges wrote:singulo.io is the center point of rational and calm debate, where much of tg's issues are worked out in a fun and family friendly environment

miggles wrote:it must have been quite the accomplishment, killing a dead butterfly

WeeYakk wrote:If you take a step back from everything watching the community argue janitor related changes is one of the most surreal and hilarious things about this game. Four pages of discussing the merits of there being too much or too little dirt in a video game.

Operative wrote:Vote PAS for headmin! Get cucked and feel good getting cucked.

TheNightingale wrote:I want to get off Mr. Scones's Wild Ride...

NikNakFlak wrote:Excuse you, I was doing intentional bug testing for the well being of the server. I do not make mistakes.

Fragnostic wrote:stop cucking the first shitshow ever that revolved around me.
This is my moment, what are you doing?!

Anonmare wrote:Oranges gestures at the thread, it shudders and begins to move!

Saegrimr wrote:
callanrockslol wrote:all you have to do is ban shitters until the playbase improves/ceases to exist, whichever comes first.

IM TRYING

Screemonster wrote:hellmoo is the mud for grown adults who main reaper in overwatch

Kor wrote:
confused rock wrote:...its like if we made fire extinguishers spawn in emergency boxes and have them heal you when you put out fires rather than them being in wall storages...


Are you having a stroke

bandit wrote:you are now manually GLORFing

MrStonedOne wrote:The best part about the election is when I announce my pick because I'm just as surprised as everybody else.

PM:[USER]->IrishWristWatch0: Yeah, im make it on but how im make the station to to sun and not go to sun

OOC: Francinum: Five Rounds at PAS's
"You are destinied to defeat Dr. Uguu and his 5 Robot Masters
(All-Access-Man, ShootyBlackCoat Man, ChloralHydrate Man, Singulo Man and TeleportArmor Man)"

I'm a box

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EasX
 
Joined: Mon Apr 27, 2015 3:56 am
Location: Florida
Byond Username: EasX

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby EasX » Fri Jul 31, 2015 4:12 pm #108674

Cheimon wrote:
Spoiler:
> Observing
> There's a cult, slowly gathering power
> Watch for a bit, waiting to see if there's any action
> Someone decides they're setting up a supermatter engine
> Shard is delivered
> Crew freaks out
> Cyborg decides to drag it into space
> Appears to be going towards escape
> Someone slams the borg into the shard, it's gone
> More people run into the shard
> Under its own power, the shard slowly drifts down the starboard hallway
> Like the shark from jaws, it is avoidable
> Avoidable but unflappable
> More and more crew wander into the shard
> CE runs smack into it
> Eventually the shard is spaced, but it has claimed 13 lives
> 13 kills from a mostly inanimate object
> tfw shard was more deadly than the cult


I was cultist that round. Needless to say, it made our job a hell of a lot easier.
Image

2013

Cheimon
 
Joined: Tue May 20, 2014 6:53 pm
Byond Username: Cheimon

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Cheimon » Fri Jul 31, 2015 6:35 pm #108694

Yeah, there was a pretty cool shuttle deathmatch between the armed up cultists and the surviving crew on that shuttle. I guess more cults should order SM shards.

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Reimoo
 
Joined: Wed Apr 23, 2014 2:58 pm
Byond Username: Reimoo

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Reimoo » Fri Jul 31, 2015 11:23 pm #108749

>chef
>preparing my kitchen when a scientist table crawls over and steals my beaker
>shout at him and start fighting him for it
>people start joining in and it turns into a bar brawl
>eventually ends with me slamming the kitchen shutters on a guy and tossing him into the hallway
>not even a minute later detective is in my kitchen and demands to see my freezer cause he thinks I murdered a guy
>getting sick of people breaking into my kitchen and ask him for a permit
>he laughs at me and tells me to step aside
>while me and the detective are arguing a chemist is trying to steal my milk
>block the freezer with my body and start yelling at the detective
>If you want to get in this freezer you will have to go through me!!
>he shoots me and arrests me
>as I am being dragged to the brig a lizard grabs me from the detective and I run for it
>yakkety sax for a while until I can hide and someone generously removes my cuffs
>immediately after that ops attack arrivals and I go there to watch the action
>see the detective being pulled away from the fight
>follow him to the medbay and steal his gun
>the bartender sees this and starts yelling at me
>he punches me and we start fighting
>I get knocked into crit and get my gun taken
>CMO sees this and shoves the bartender aside to heal me
>as I get back up I take out a kitchen knife and shank the bartender for round two
>as he goes down I try to take the gun back
>CMO intervenes and yet again I am fighting someone for a stupid reason
>I shoot him and run away
>by this time I am thinking all I wanted to do this round was cook food
>run back to the kitchen and the second cook is standing there
>he sees me covered in blood holding a gun
>casually greet him and tell him I am hiding a gun in the freezer, don't tell anybody
>his response - ...what the fuck?
>a few minutes later the shuttle docks and I go back to retrieve my gun
>on the shuttle I see a pissed off bartender with a taser
>in the ensuing shootout we start a shuttle fight
>detective chases me with his baton and I shoot him
>people are seeing me going crazy with a gun and trying to lynch me
>shout ALL I WANTED TO DO WAS COOK FOOD!!
>hide in a locker
>detective finds me and kills with a laser gun just as the round ends
>fight count: 5

TheNightingale
 
Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2015 5:07 pm
Byond Username: TheNightingale

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby TheNightingale » Fri Jul 31, 2015 11:30 pm #108750

Reimoo wrote:>see the detective being pulled away from the fight
>follow him to the medbay and steal his gun


You know the Detective's revolver is a really great weapon against operatives? It's a ballistic seven-shot instant stun which does stamina damage on top of that. It might've been a better idea to not steal Security's guns during an ops round...

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