Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

General SS13 Chat
User avatar
Deitus
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2015 5:26 pm
Byond Username: Deitus

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Deitus » #127846

Bottom post of the previous page:

i was the ai that round. dunno what that engi was thinking, they were calling about the pa at the time she tried to fuck with the emitters so ofc i was gonna be watching at the time. dont think she managed to escape though, saw she got captured again.

edit: what was going on with the PA anyway? i heard they were building a new containment in maint, the starter got stolen, and there was a beacon in storage, so i was just waiting to watch the singulo get out of maint and start fucking shit up.
Image
User avatar
MMMiracles
Code Maintainer
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2014 2:27 am
Byond Username: MMMiracles
Github Username: MMMiracles

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by MMMiracles » #127856

>metastation miner
>while mining, find jackhammer. fuck yeah.
>proceed to mine out a huge chunk of the western asteroids ores, take it back for sick cash money.
>fuck around the station, gangbangers popping up
>stay unconverted and unimplanted, kill a few gang lieutenants that try to fuck me with and my jackhammer of freedom.
>dom in science

my true calling

>harass xeno bio by drilling down all the exterior walls, realize the dom is up against a maintenance wall they can't reach but I can
>singlehandedly cuck science gang's dominatior
>dom in virology pops up
>k more gangtears for me
>head to exterior of virology, drill in as AI tries to bolt me out hopelessly.
>gangbangers tries to shoot me while I bash his dominatior.
>tase him, proceed to break dominatior in front of him, laugh, then fly off into space.
>get on escape shuttle, spaced midflight by salty science gang. doesn't matter cause space suit.
>shout something about patriotism as I float off into the void of space.

Jackhammer > gang
Spoiler:
Hints:
------
Submitted by: sandstorm

The best way to get a girl/boy friend is to click on them say "hi" then push enter
then say "your cute" then push enter,wait until they say somthing back if they
don't go for another.
spainy
Joined: Mon Apr 06, 2015 8:16 am
Byond Username: Spainish

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by spainy » #127959

Fun little round on meta:

>exploring maint on metastation
>find wizard outfit, decide to put in on for shits and giggles
>just as a real lich arrives on the station
>captain urges everyone to not panic, says it's a mass hallucination
>go meet up with the lich, he is holed up in arrivals with a ton of constructs
>"HELLO FELLOW WIZARD"
>"YES, I TOO AM A WIZARD"
Spoiler:
Image
>turns out he's a cool dude and we team up
>walk among constructs unharmed while they murderbone retaliate against everyone else in arrivals
>eventually we go towards the shuttle
>on the way we see a potted plant with what looks like a person behind it
>we surround it
>"HMM IT LOOKS LIKE THERE MIGHT BE SOMEONE BEHIND HERE"
Spoiler:
Image
>[brief pause]
>"NAH"
>we leave for the shuttle
User avatar
AnonymousNow
Joined: Tue Jul 15, 2014 1:41 pm
Byond Username: AnonymousNow
Location: Neptune

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by AnonymousNow » #127991

>Actually fun sounding antagonist behaviour

Neat.
Hornygranny wrote:It's not your codebase. It's our codebase. You can imply soft power as much as you want, but you don't have it. Division between the server and project is absolute. I'm not interested in reading dezzmont platitudes for the billionth time and won't be checking back in this thread.
Image

Image
Spoiler:
~Simplified for the sake of Wyzack's delicate feelings~
Fuck anti-roleplay suggestions and fuck Bay.

Xenomorphs a shit.
User avatar
ThanatosRa
Rarely plays
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 4:07 pm
Byond Username: ThanatosRa
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada, USA

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by ThanatosRa » #128021

I'm sitting here imagining the guy shitting himself while a possible wizard and robust constructs pass him up as he hides behind a potted plant.
my forum gimmick is that no one knows who i am

gender is irrelevant NO UR IRRELEVANT
u a bish
y u heff 2 b med
User avatar
ShadowDimentio
Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 3:15 am
Byond Username: David273

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by ShadowDimentio » #128035

They were hiding behind a potted plant. They had nothing to lose, or else they would have run.
Spoiler:
"Clowns are different you can't trust those shifty fucks you never know what they're doing or if they're willing to eat a dayban for some cheap yuks."
-Not-Dorsidarf

"The amount of people is the amount of times the sound is played... on top of itself. And with sybil populations on the shuttle..."
-Remie Richards

"I just spent all fucking day playing fallen london and sunless sea and obsessing over how creepy the fucking dawn machine is and only just clocked now that your avatar is the fucking dawn machine. Nobody vote for this disgusting new sequence blasphemer he wants to kill the gods"
-Stickymayhem

"Drank a cocktail of orange Gatorade and mint mouthwash on accident. Pretty sure I'm going to die, I am on the verge of vomit. It was nice knowing you guys"
-PKPenguin321

"You're too late, you will have to fetch them from the top of my tower, built by zombies, slaves, zombie slaves and garitho's will to live!"
-Armhulen

"This is like being cooked alive in a microwave oven which utilises the autistic end of the light spectrum to cook you."
-DarkFNC

"Penguins are the second race to realise 2D>3D"
-Anonmare

"Paul Blart mall cops if they all had ambitions of joining the Waffen-SS"
-Anonmare

"These logs could kill a dragon much less a man"
-Armhulenn

">7 8 6
WHAT MADNESS IS THIS? POETIC ANARCHY!"
-Wyzack

"We didn't kick one goofball out only to have another one come in like a fucking revolving door"
-Kraseo

"There's a difference between fucking faggots and being a fucking faggot."
-Anonmare

"You guys splitting the 20 bucks cost to hire your ex again?"
-lntigracy

"Wew. Congrats. It's been actual years since anyone tried to make fun of me for being divorced. You caught me, I'm tilted. Here is your trophy."
-Timbrewolf

"I prefer my coffees to run dry too *snorts a line of maxwell house*"
-Super Aggro Crag

"You don't have an evil bone in your body, unless togopal comes for a sleepover"
-Bluespace

">Paying over a $1000 for a lump of silicon and plastic
Lol"
-Anonmare

"Then why did you get that boob job?"
-DrPillzRedux

"You take that back you colonial mongrel"
-Docprofsmith

"I don't care whether or not someone with an IQ 3 standard deviations below my own thinks they enjoy Wizard rounds."
-Malkraz
User avatar
PKPenguin321
Site Admin
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2014 7:02 pm
Byond Username: PKPenguin321
Github Username: PKPenguin321
Location: U S A, U S A, U S A

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by PKPenguin321 » #128043

>be a round from a few weeks ago
>assistant
>i had promised in ooc before the round started that if there was another blob the next round i would go to the dorm bathrooms and emote myself blasting off my own face with my own piss
>admins spawn a meme blob in dorms bathroom and send out centcomm announcements for it
>go to bathroom and do the deed with several people watching, the blast of piss ends up killing me (in reality i just suicided but it was the piss that really killed me)
>roboticist makes me a borg to shame me, i almost never play borg so i just go service
>suddenly AI starts telling me that it's being killed by ops over binary
>inform the crew hastily and shortly after hear an explosion, followed by dead telecomms
>run to the brig, just outside of it i see the captain
>i remember the cool trick i discovered a while back when testing things on my own local server
>ask him to drop it really quickly, he does
>scoop it into my tray (practically nobody knows you're able to do this as service borg, it's pretty much one of the most well kept secrets of this game)
>scoot off into AI upload with turrets set to stun, start writing my memoirs on pen and paper
>crew kills all the ops and the shuttle docks, i successful evacuate the disk
>despite me not really doing anything all round except holding the disk, the captain gives me a medal of valor
>feelsgoodman.jpg
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well.
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
Image
lumipharon
TGMC Administrator
Joined: Mon Apr 28, 2014 4:40 am
Byond Username: Lumipharon

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by lumipharon » #128045

How the fuck do you get an item back from a borg doing that, short of blowing it to pieces?
User avatar
PKPenguin321
Site Admin
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2014 7:02 pm
Byond Username: PKPenguin321
Github Username: PKPenguin321
Location: U S A, U S A, U S A

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by PKPenguin321 » #128046

lumipharon wrote:How the fuck do you get an item back from a borg doing that, short of blowing it to pieces?
when the module deactives (IE when it takes a certain amount of damage/dies) it drops everything on the tray
i almost reported it as a bug but when you think about it it's really not one considering how helpless service borgs are
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well.
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
Image
User avatar
invisty
Joined: Tue May 26, 2015 12:02 am
Byond Username: Invisty

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by invisty » #128049

Code: Select all

/obj/item/weapon/storage/bag/trash
    cant_hold = list(/obj/item/weapon/disk/nuclear)
JANIBORG DEMANDS EQUALITY.
Mime: Depresso
User avatar
Not-Dorsidarf
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 4:14 pm
Byond Username: Dorsidwarf
Location: We're all going on an, admin holiday

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Not-Dorsidarf » #128131

invisty wrote:

Code: Select all

/obj/item/weapon/storage/bag/trash
    cant_hold = list(/obj/item/weapon/disk/nuclear)
JANIBORG DEMANDS EQUALITY.
Pretty sure trashbags dont drop their shit
Image
Image
kieth4 wrote: infrequently shitting yourself is fine imo
There is a lot of very bizarre nonsense being talked on this forum. I shall now remain silent and logoff until my points are vindicated.
Player who complainted over being killed for looting cap office wrote: Sun Jul 30, 2023 1:33 am Hey there, I'm Virescent, the super evil person who made the stupid appeal and didn't think it through enough. Just came here to say: screech, retards. Screech and writhe like the worms you are. Your pathetic little cries will keep echoing around for a while before quietting down. There is one great outcome from this: I rised up the blood pressure of some of you shitheads and lowered your lifespan. I'm honestly tempted to do this more often just to see you screech and writhe more, but that wouldn't be cool of me. So come on haters, show me some more of your high blood pressure please. 🖕🖕🖕
Septavius

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Septavius » #128157

click trashbags in your hand to drop its contents.
User avatar
Wyzack
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:32 pm
Byond Username: Wyzack

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Wyzack » #128229

This one was too crazy to not share

>Last night, lowpop bagil (is there any other kind amirite)
>5-6 people on
>Some fucker has discstation in there preferences even though it is mega broken
>We get disc
>Roll captain so i can get the shuttle called as soon as possible
>Everyone bitching about how shitty the station is
>Take the spare/disc, give out some access, putter around the shitty map for a while
>Running out that 20 min shuttle refueling period
>Everyone chilling in a hallway, shooting the shit
>Frank Mctator tosses a minibomb, doesnt cook it properly, one person gets killed and everyone else gets away
>Frank escapes, i grab the det revolver and some armory guns
>pull the armory boopsky behind me because tryhard
>Head in to maint where he was seen last
>No real idea where i am going, but then i start to see footprints in the oil
>follow them around for a bit, see a closed cardboard box
>Go to open it, EMP, temporarily blinded
>Run around in a panic, Frank comes out of the box with a stunprod
>Remember i have the det revolver, manage to draw it and down him without getting prodded
>fastest pistol in the west
>he ded
>Take Frank to medbay, tell em they can do what they like with him
>Decide to go call the shuttle
>On my way back Betrays-its-kin armblades me down before i can do anything
>ded, little salty
>Candice fucking Moore grabs my corpse
>Starts off a fucking 6 minute chase where the ling is following her and armblading her
>She manages to heal herself, defib me up, heal me, all while being chased and armbladed by the ling
>most robust shit i have ever seen, doesnt even attack the ling once
>I get up, run to the armory and grab some guns
>Ling follows, i tase him down and empty two lasers into him but it doesnt kill him cuz lingarmor
>Neckgrab him, drag him to the chapel as the shuttle docks
>chaplain helps me slam dunk him into the incinerator
>Fly away from the station to a pile of redtext

Seriously most insane doctoring i have ever seen
Arthur Thomson says, "Since there are no admins I would loging with another account and kill you"
Caleb Robinson laughs.
Arthur Thomson catches fire!
tusterman11 wrote:Can you stop lying? I just asked you and you are was a piece of shiit on me!!!
Kor wrote:I wish Wyzack was still an admin.
EngamerAzari's real number one fangirl <3
certified good poster
User avatar
ShadowDimentio
Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 3:15 am
Byond Username: David273

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by ShadowDimentio » #128346

>Be last round
>Scientist
>Traitor
>Kill a chemist and leave
>Hoo boy
>Today is the day I get to play with spirits
>Go to HoP
>Get transfer to chem
>Make lube and load up on healing patches
>The chemist I have to kill is braindead
>Grab them and space them
>Well that was easy
>Time to get serious
>Get my parasite and an adrenal implant
>Set it as standard because that's like the best flavor
>First spirit goes AFK immediately
>Whatever
>Help for another
>They're REALLY backseaty
>I don't give a shit
>We go to security and lube the front door and wait
>HoS arrives after presumably being looted for everything good
>Gets cucked while screaming
>We drag him into maint and then the dorms and loot him
>All we get is his ID and gun
>Not much of a payoff for blowing our cover
>SUDDENLY THE DOOR OPENS
>It's some doctor and they run immediately
>Whatever
>Bail and lurk in maint
>SUDDENLY AN EDDIE
>Get tazed, but my spirit obliterates it
>Leave towards arrivals to get into the outpost for the recharger and locker
>Arrive
>Halfway through looting the closet a secborg dragging an Eddie sees me
>Chases me
>Bail into maint and wait for it, the HoS' gun now charged
>Laser it to shit, spirit helps
>Rip borg
>Spirit busts down some walls and I recharge
>We decide to go to sec for more gear and sweet sweet loot
>Just walk in
>Obliterate the guard we see
>"HELP SECURITY!"
>Whatever, they can come and get fucked
>Walk into the armory, gear up
>Halfway through looting and a bunch of people charge in
>Captain, some guard, detective, and the cloned HoS
>Taking some laser hits from the cap, but the ablative armor I have on is doing fine
>Spirit is running around being distracting
>Return fire all over the place
>HoS tries to flank us
>Fill him with lasers
>He limps away
>Taser him
>Spirit nukes him
>Captain is running in through the door with the detective
>Taze them both
>Spirit nukes the captain
>Detective wisely tries to bail
>Spirit follows and nukes him
>After surviving the battle, I take my prizes
>Grab all their tasers, have like three
>Take the cap's ID and egun too
>Recharge my gear and put on the HoS hardsuit because the spirit says shit's been bombed
>CE shows up outside a window
>Starts saying something but I riddle him with lasers and he bails
>Recharged, I leave sec and go down into the hall
>The AI has decided to show up and is locking stuff down
>Gravity goes out and someone calls it
>Go to the bridge to subvert the AI and recall
>Recall
>People start shrieking "WHY" over comms
>"I'M CRASHING THIS STATION, WITH NO SURVIVORS!"
>I think that makes what I want pretty clear
>AI locks down the bridge
>Enter the upload to subvert the AI because I'm sick of it's shit
>Realize something
>The whole mid part of the station is fucking gone, including the whole lower half of the upload
>Someone had BoH and beaconed
>What the shit I wanted to kill those people
>Whatever
>Leave and nuke a few random survivors
>Shuttle's called again
>God damn it just let me murder in peace
>Bridge is still locked down
>God damn it
>Go in through the conference room
>Power's off, manually
>Unlock the thing and cut it back on
>It's still not on
>Reflect momentarily on what to do
>SUDDENLY A MORPH
>AAAAAAAA IT'S KILLING ME
>SPIRIT SPRINGS INTO ACTION
>TAKE OUT THE HOS' GUN AND START SHOOTING AT IT WHILE RUNNING
>IT'S DODGING AND I'M HURT
>SHOTS KEEP HITTING MY SPIRIT WHICH IS HURTING ME
>SHIT
>BAIL INTO SPACE
>BUT THERE'S RUBBLE EVERYWHERE
>MORPH CATCHES UP
>HITS ME ONE LAST TIME
>CRIT
>SPIRIT KILLS THE MORPH
>"I'm sorry."
>"Get someone to heal me."
>"Alright."
>Going towards escape
>SUDDENLY A MINER GRABS MY CORPSE
>I HAD A SPIRIT SO I'M VALID
>SPIRIT TRIES TO GRAB ME BACK
>CAN'T
>GET KICKED TO DEATH BY THE MINER
>Ghost
>Like twenty ghosts on me
>Lament

Even though I didn't get greentext or nuke everyone, I had a shitload of fun. Shoutouts to my spirit for being great.
Spoiler:
"Clowns are different you can't trust those shifty fucks you never know what they're doing or if they're willing to eat a dayban for some cheap yuks."
-Not-Dorsidarf

"The amount of people is the amount of times the sound is played... on top of itself. And with sybil populations on the shuttle..."
-Remie Richards

"I just spent all fucking day playing fallen london and sunless sea and obsessing over how creepy the fucking dawn machine is and only just clocked now that your avatar is the fucking dawn machine. Nobody vote for this disgusting new sequence blasphemer he wants to kill the gods"
-Stickymayhem

"Drank a cocktail of orange Gatorade and mint mouthwash on accident. Pretty sure I'm going to die, I am on the verge of vomit. It was nice knowing you guys"
-PKPenguin321

"You're too late, you will have to fetch them from the top of my tower, built by zombies, slaves, zombie slaves and garitho's will to live!"
-Armhulen

"This is like being cooked alive in a microwave oven which utilises the autistic end of the light spectrum to cook you."
-DarkFNC

"Penguins are the second race to realise 2D>3D"
-Anonmare

"Paul Blart mall cops if they all had ambitions of joining the Waffen-SS"
-Anonmare

"These logs could kill a dragon much less a man"
-Armhulenn

">7 8 6
WHAT MADNESS IS THIS? POETIC ANARCHY!"
-Wyzack

"We didn't kick one goofball out only to have another one come in like a fucking revolving door"
-Kraseo

"There's a difference between fucking faggots and being a fucking faggot."
-Anonmare

"You guys splitting the 20 bucks cost to hire your ex again?"
-lntigracy

"Wew. Congrats. It's been actual years since anyone tried to make fun of me for being divorced. You caught me, I'm tilted. Here is your trophy."
-Timbrewolf

"I prefer my coffees to run dry too *snorts a line of maxwell house*"
-Super Aggro Crag

"You don't have an evil bone in your body, unless togopal comes for a sleepover"
-Bluespace

">Paying over a $1000 for a lump of silicon and plastic
Lol"
-Anonmare

"Then why did you get that boob job?"
-DrPillzRedux

"You take that back you colonial mongrel"
-Docprofsmith

"I don't care whether or not someone with an IQ 3 standard deviations below my own thinks they enjoy Wizard rounds."
-Malkraz
Erbbu
Joined: Tue Oct 28, 2014 4:56 am
Byond Username: Erbbu

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Erbbu » #128493

You getting killed because you shot your own spirit is really funny.
User avatar
ShadowDimentio
Joined: Thu May 08, 2014 3:15 am
Byond Username: David273

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by ShadowDimentio » #128604

>Be mime on Meta
>Traitor
>Ehhhhh
>Not really feelin' it
>Adminhelp if I can trade for something
>Get a reply asking what I want
>Ask for blob
>Denied
>Ask for shadowling
>Accepted
>Sick
>Go to HoP for maint access
>They're huge autists and demand a stamp from the CE
>What are you high
>Storm off because I don't have time for that shit
>Wander the station for the inevitable suicided assistant
>Find one like 20 ficking minutes
>During that time I got cablecuffs, the true weapon of shadowlings
>Hatch in science maint
>Wait around for someone
>BUT NOBODY CAME
>Shit
>See a scientist in experimentator
>Who the fuck even uses that thing
>He left the maint door open
>No idea why he opened it
>Run in and try to glare him before he can run
>Targeting screen is aiming at the dead animals
>FUCK
>Barely get him in time
>Drag him into maint
>Have an stroke and forget to cuff him and grab his headset
>He squeals and runs away
>FUCK
>Jump away and hide in the maint surgery room
>See like four people swarm where I was
>They find nothing, presumably call the scientist a liar and leave
>Come back out of hiding
>See an engi messing with the tech storage door in the hall, alone
>Glare him, drag, cuff, headset, convert
>First convert wew
>Tell him to break some lights and not die
>He wanders off
>Keep lurking in sci maint
>See the RD coming up from xeno
>NOW IS THE TIME
>Glare him, perform the convert
>Valuable asset gained
>Tell him to give me his ID, he complies
>Try to lead him out but he doesn't follow
>Suddenly the CE is coming right past us in maint
>Take the fucker down and convert him
>Two heads in like a minute
>That must be a record
>They both leave
>Use the RD's ID to convert pretty much all of science flawlessly
>Get a few stragglers in maint too
>Basically awesome
>~8 followers
>The shuttle has been called several times by the AI
>Tell the RD/CE to handle it
>AI doesn't last long and the shuttle is told to fuck off repeatedly
>Excellent
>See a guard in science
>YES
>Jump him and convert him
>YES!
>The roboticist (who was converted) builds a GYGAX and offers to rampage
>Guard starts bringing in delicious offerings
>They go loud and bring in convert after convert
>The lobby is fucking PACKED with cuffed soon-to-be-thralls
>At about 13 the cap and some guard try to storm science
>They get fucked quickly, but not as fast as I'd have liked
>Ascend before long
>For my first decree...
>"ALL PODS ARE TO BE DESTROYED!"
>That'll do
>Wander the halls slaying all non-thralls
>See a ling murdering thralls
>It runs when it sees me
>Smart
>Strike it with lightning and nuke it
>Lets see you revive from that
>Go to arrivals pod and find it intact
>Tsk tsk
>Obliterate everyone in it
>Time is almost up
>Get to the dorms pod
>Obliterate the guy on it
>No survivors on the pods
>Go to the shuttle
>Only like 5 thralls on it
>"I ASKED YOU TO DO SOMETHING, AND YOU FAILED."
>"AND NOW, YOU GET YOUR JUST DESSERTS."
>"DEATH!"
>Kill everyone
>Shuttle docks
>Redtext
>Redtext as far as the eye could see
>Here, there, everywhere
>Except for me
>The only greentext
>Oh and there were a bunch of supermatter shards and deathsquad guys
>I nuke the deathsquad and find that the CE survived my purge of the shuttle
>Halfway through congratulating his service, I get killed by a flying shard

What fun.
Spoiler:
"Clowns are different you can't trust those shifty fucks you never know what they're doing or if they're willing to eat a dayban for some cheap yuks."
-Not-Dorsidarf

"The amount of people is the amount of times the sound is played... on top of itself. And with sybil populations on the shuttle..."
-Remie Richards

"I just spent all fucking day playing fallen london and sunless sea and obsessing over how creepy the fucking dawn machine is and only just clocked now that your avatar is the fucking dawn machine. Nobody vote for this disgusting new sequence blasphemer he wants to kill the gods"
-Stickymayhem

"Drank a cocktail of orange Gatorade and mint mouthwash on accident. Pretty sure I'm going to die, I am on the verge of vomit. It was nice knowing you guys"
-PKPenguin321

"You're too late, you will have to fetch them from the top of my tower, built by zombies, slaves, zombie slaves and garitho's will to live!"
-Armhulen

"This is like being cooked alive in a microwave oven which utilises the autistic end of the light spectrum to cook you."
-DarkFNC

"Penguins are the second race to realise 2D>3D"
-Anonmare

"Paul Blart mall cops if they all had ambitions of joining the Waffen-SS"
-Anonmare

"These logs could kill a dragon much less a man"
-Armhulenn

">7 8 6
WHAT MADNESS IS THIS? POETIC ANARCHY!"
-Wyzack

"We didn't kick one goofball out only to have another one come in like a fucking revolving door"
-Kraseo

"There's a difference between fucking faggots and being a fucking faggot."
-Anonmare

"You guys splitting the 20 bucks cost to hire your ex again?"
-lntigracy

"Wew. Congrats. It's been actual years since anyone tried to make fun of me for being divorced. You caught me, I'm tilted. Here is your trophy."
-Timbrewolf

"I prefer my coffees to run dry too *snorts a line of maxwell house*"
-Super Aggro Crag

"You don't have an evil bone in your body, unless togopal comes for a sleepover"
-Bluespace

">Paying over a $1000 for a lump of silicon and plastic
Lol"
-Anonmare

"Then why did you get that boob job?"
-DrPillzRedux

"You take that back you colonial mongrel"
-Docprofsmith

"I don't care whether or not someone with an IQ 3 standard deviations below my own thinks they enjoy Wizard rounds."
-Malkraz
confused rock
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:18 am
Byond Username: The unloved rock

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by confused rock » #129430

>wizard near shuttle docking in meme round, wanted to be slaughter demon so name myself NOT A SLAUGHTER DEMON FUCK
>guy shoots me with wand of death, hits captain instead.
>shuttle docks, I hide in the cockpit while slaughter demons kill everyone, with the last demon dying from someone who soon bled out
>eat the heart
>ce comes in and almost kills me with pulse rifle, shuttle launching knocks me down, causing me to dodge the shot that would have killed me
>like 20 syndrones spawn
>stop time, use my blood crawl to hide
>greentext because I had to kill a geneticist, but more importantly become a slaughter demon.
Image
Image
Image
Image
User avatar
Deitus
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2015 5:26 pm
Byond Username: Deitus

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Deitus » #129474

>get assigned captain
>fffffffffffine
>gear up, head to sec, drop off pinpointer and spare id to hos, grap some huds and shit
>grab some tools/toolbelt from eva
>mosey back onto bridge, nothing going on yet really
>wait what's that
>OH SHIT NIGGERS ITS WIGGLES
>immediately inform the crew
>crowd gathers in front of bridge to see
>wiggles goofs around
>d'aaw's all around
>some assistants want in to pet it and give it coffee
>that's a weird way of spelling murderbone faggot hell no
>one gets in anyway, i assume ai
>drops coffee
>wiggles dunks its head in it
>d'aaw
>isolated fights going on, so just dick around on bridge with wiggles
>suddenly calls of revs
>fug
>grab wiggles and fuck off to the ghetto bar since unrobust af
>wiggles is a little confused but rolls around in some oil for fun
>make it a margarita
>wiggles does not approve
>welp more for me
>start up the space heater, wiggles curls up next to it and goes to sleep while i sip my drink
>making myself a new one when wiggles emotes looking at the strange man out the door with the wooden barricade
>theyfoundme
>go look
>its the janitor and che guevera
>"kill me but dont hurt wiggles"
>we dont wanna kill you we just want to escape from gangs
>check sec radio
>oh it IS gangs
>janitor fucks off but i suspect che so keep them out
>suddenly engineer teleports in out of fucking nowhere
>usrsm90
>disassembles wall for che
>i welded the other door shut, but che says they're cold and need the space heater
>yknow what fuck it
>let them in
>wiggles is concerned and nervous
>they both pet it, calms down
>so they're actually gonna not murderbone me ok
>engi uses teleporter again, gets stuck in mining shuttle airlock, teleports again and out of sight
>che's bein a pretty cool dude, playing with wiggles
>best buds
>chill out and talk for a while about random shit
>hardsuit officer flies by in spess, watches us for a bit then fucks off
>keep chatting while station slowly devolves into shit
>engi manages to make his way back
>chat
>suddenly he gibs
>kden
>wiggles noms on the gibs
>adorable even when eating human flesh
>wiggles takes another nap, i make some drinks for che and i
>long time goes by, just hanging out
>suddenly wiggles starts contorting
>WIGGLES NO BE CAREFUL
>wiggles becomes a drone
>WHEW
>hugs us both, climbs on counter to curl up for another nap
>hnnnnnng these adorable levels
>dom down, round ends

not really eventful but still 10/10 round comfy as fuck
Last edited by Deitus on Mon Oct 26, 2015 12:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
Image
User avatar
capi duffman
Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:28 am
Byond Username: Capi duffman

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by capi duffman » #129492

>Time to cook somethi-
>Nope! nuke op time.
>The team discussed to go in stealthy, or bombing all over the place.
>Telebombing it is.
>The station meanwhile is ripping itself apart due to some pet, no one suspects a thing.
>Multiple explosions all over the place, one of them nails the Cap and gibs him, teleporting the disk to engineering.
>We go in silently, no one has screamed OPs even though we blew up multiple parts of the station.
>We get the fukken disk, no one the wiser.
>Station goes Delta, cue sweet, sweet screams of panic and surprise of the crew.
>At some point we miss two ops, maybe they went to murderbone, or something.
>We sail to greentext, not a bullet got shot that day.

10/10, a fully crewed station stood no chance.
User avatar
Deitus
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2015 5:26 pm
Byond Username: Deitus

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Deitus » #129509

capi duffman wrote:[nukawps]
there were fucking ops that round?!

i was the hos, centcomm sent in an omega specimen that took half the station and a fully armed sec force to take down, i figured the bombs were just some cuban pete tator or something. we eventually took it down so i drug it about as a trophy before text showed up saying that its legs were wiggling or some shit so everyone was like ITS REVIVING and butchered it, but then like 7-8 headslugs popped out and nommed me to death

10/10 stelf awps, even the hos didnt know you were there :honk:
Image
User avatar
MMMiracles
Code Maintainer
Joined: Fri Aug 29, 2014 2:27 am
Byond Username: MMMiracles
Github Username: MMMiracles

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by MMMiracles » #129510

>science ling
>50 pop, lowsec. objective is team-based, boriiiing.
>other lings talking about a potential plan, one says he'll cut comms
>sec officer talking to a scientist in rnd, he put his taser on the table.
>grab it, tase both. emp shriek, officer's flash goes off and now I can't see shit.
>wears off, they both start trying to beat the shit out of me.
>cue 5 minute chase around the station where i keep fleshmending as they hit me, cuffed me once and biodegrade out and gtfo.
>get armor from the arrival checkpoint, grab the guitar from the dorms.
>comms is cut by one of the other lings
>people start calling for my blood, end up fighting off a mob in the cargo foyer.
>aoe flashing to distort the vigilantes without eye protection, proceed to guitar-smash them as they try to flee from my musical destruction.
>while this goes on, more crew piles in, the QM is just watching from cargo silently.
>suddenly comes out, grows an armblade and proceeds to help me kick the crew's shit in.
>there's at least 10 people so far piled up in cargo foyer, the doctor i critted earlier comes back and tries to syringe me
>flash, syringe them, no idea what it was
>they drop, kek
>eventually get overran by the late-join security force, QM fucked off a bit ago so I'm beaten to a pulp, stripped, cuffed, and my body is bashed repetitively.
>regen first time to biodegrade cuffs off, doctor fills my body with morphine while im dead.
>warden drags me to gibber alone, harmbatoning the entire way.
>cant shove me in quickly enough because I still have my headset on, so I won't go in.
>revive, fleshmend immediately.
>first disarm pushes the warden down, grab his baton, proceed to harmbaton him as his cries for help are unheard (thx earlier ling).
>absorb.
>take his identity.
>shove him in the gibber, feast on his meat steaks.
>get loyalty implant, kill the one person who saw me without an implant beforehand.
>see hop trying to board the shuttle, realize they're my assassinate objective.
>baton, drag straight to the chapel and into the crematory, rip.
>board shuttle, take a front seat near the cockpit

>this fucking lizard has the audacity to try and take my seat

>TRYING TO TAKE A HUMAN'S SEAT?

>baton, drag into the shuttle brig.
>harmbaton to crit.
>officer asks why I did that.

>"Just putting him in his place."

>dock
>redtext cause nobody really bothered to go finish the team objective
>doesnt matter dunked the warden in a gibber
Spoiler:
Hints:
------
Submitted by: sandstorm

The best way to get a girl/boy friend is to click on them say "hi" then push enter
then say "your cute" then push enter,wait until they say somthing back if they
don't go for another.
Zilenan91
Confined to the shed
Joined: Sun Jul 19, 2015 8:09 pm
Byond Username: Zilenan91

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Zilenan91 » #129567

Deitus wrote:
capi duffman wrote:[nukawps]
there were fucking ops that round?!

i was the hos, centcomm sent in an omega specimen that took half the station and a fully armed sec force to take down, i figured the bombs were just some cuban pete tator or something. we eventually took it down so i drug it about as a trophy before text showed up saying that its legs were wiggling or some shit so everyone was like ITS REVIVING and butchered it, but then like 7-8 headslugs popped out and nommed me to death

10/10 stelf awps, even the hos didnt know you were there :honk:

Duffman was talking about a different round, not that one.
Spoiler:
Zilenan91 wrote:
Just replace both their arms with chainsaws.

HAVE FUN ESCAPING NOW WITH NO ARMS
onleavedontatme
Joined: Fri Mar 13, 2015 10:26 pm
Byond Username: KorPhaeron

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by onleavedontatme » #129589

SPEAR STORY ONE

>lizard traitor
>prays for me to witness him
>tell him that better mean he's gonna minibomb spear someone
>after fumbling about and nearly dying in a hull breach he is armed and ready
>heads towards escape
>slips on a peel from botany
>spear hits him in the face
>giant hole in the floor is all that remains

SPEAR STORY TWO
>rev
>assistant tries to IED spear captain in his quarters
>gets telebatoned and beaten to death behind the captains desk
>we discuss spear mechanics in deadchat, he did not realize you had to use two hands and laments the missed opportunity
>suddenly singulo moves up from the south
>rips the wall from the captains office
>captain starts running
>singulo hurls explosive spear at captain, setting him on fire
>he staggers a few steps and falls into crit

Witnessed
Cuboos
Joined: Fri Jun 13, 2014 5:34 am
Byond Username: Cuboos

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Cuboos » #129598

> Be scientist
> working in Xeno
> RNG isn't in my favor.
> most slimes are just a copy of the last slime, making xeno progress very slowly.
> suddenly assistant runs in.
> all doors are bolted
> Assistant, "Shit, AI saw me"
> AI: "Assistant killed someone and gibbed them with C4"
> oh fuck a traitor
> Assistant: "Shit man, you gotta help me, i can't go to brig"
> point to disposal
> Me: "dude, you can escape through that"
> Assistant, "oh, okay"
> assistant climbs in.
> Ai shows up on hologram and says, "did he just?"
> Me "yup"
> a few seconds later, hear assistant over radio
> Assistant: "Of fuck you scientist"
> Knew the xeno disposal lead to space the whole time.
> lulz were had.
Image
/TG/ First and Only Sound guy
The only Dev unanimously loved least hated.
User avatar
DemonFiren
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:15 pm
Byond Username: DemonFiren

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by DemonFiren » #129603

Oooooh, man. That was clown-tier.
Image
Image
Image
ImageImageImageImageImage

non-lizard things:
Spoiler:
Image
User avatar
Wyzack
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:32 pm
Byond Username: Wyzack

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Wyzack » #129624

Kor wrote:spear stuff

Holy fuck that is so amazing
Arthur Thomson says, "Since there are no admins I would loging with another account and kill you"
Caleb Robinson laughs.
Arthur Thomson catches fire!
tusterman11 wrote:Can you stop lying? I just asked you and you are was a piece of shiit on me!!!
Kor wrote:I wish Wyzack was still an admin.
EngamerAzari's real number one fangirl <3
certified good poster
confused rock
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:18 am
Byond Username: The unloved rock

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by confused rock » #129823

>day after ghost cameras were added
>fail to make spirit board because camera is only 3x3
>die from atmos tech murderboner in space
>next round, cargo tech sec officer
>ask for full cargo access from hop, get it
>make design involving using 1 photo for a yes/no question, otherwise 2 photos per letter
>succeed, try it out. ghost tells me he has something to say
>c
>u
>l
>t
>tell sec about cult a whole 4 minutes before a blood rune is discovered in medbay
Image
Image
Image
Image
TheNightingale
Joined: Fri Mar 20, 2015 5:07 pm
Byond Username: TheNightingale

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by TheNightingale » #129824

I was one of the ghosts there (the other was Lat Danshi), and got shaded into Emily Ranger's body not long after. The spirit board was perfect, if a little film-intensive. (No guarantees I'm telling the truth on any other rounds, though.)
confused rock
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:18 am
Byond Username: The unloved rock

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by confused rock » #129903

>traitor round on box
>suicide immediately or something I dont remember
>become Zeela's support holoparasite
>she just wants to blow people up
>place a teleport beacon in firing range target storage, Zeela makes bombs
>some event spawns specimen omega in secure test lab of xenobio, its a giant spider thing that has the same abilities as an alien queen but instead of eggs it has really high health and plasma
>Zeela opens the windoor, it slowly walks out, and then she just continues doing toxins like nothing ever happened
>somehow with her boom powers her bombs are everywhere before she even throws them, that or im not paying attention
>ai confirms its traitors bombs, not the specimen causes havoc, says they are looking at one right now at escape.
> Zeela detonates the bomb prematurely as such, knocking her into crit, I heal her out and then teleport her or something
>Zeela has nowhere else to go so goes back and looks for an exit around robotics, i notice the specimen thing because it stands on one of the weeds it planted
>cant find a hole in the breach to enter robotics, gives up and looks over where the experimentor lab was
>she is deaf but I hear someone hiding in the disposals there, we talk, zeela has no light so i tell her to tell the guy in disposals, Jonathan, if he has any.
>this is still next to a hull breach, he pops out of the disposals with a light flashlight.
>he hides back inside as specimen omega comes by, about 2-3 tiles away, roars, then walks away
>she checks again for a hole in robotics and finds one, I see in the distance Jonathan getting mauled by the monster
>later we learn they killed the specimen successfully and we see the corpse of it laying on the chefs table
>more bombs come out of nowhere I didnt even see her throw
>go onto the shuttle, blows up a bomb too close and is crit again.
> only survivors are her and a few guys in hardsuits, Im constantly healing her to stop her from going into crit
> she throws ANOTHER bomb too close and goes into crit again, now only the ce and a guy in a normal hardsuit are alive
> they oddly ignore me while I heal Zeela, I plan to space them when the shuttle launches (zeela made a chair) so they get knocked down unlike zeela
> I realize I cant space them without hands, even though I can safely space myself
>they attack, one of them pulls out a laser gun and shoots me rather than Zeela, while Zeela just sits in the chair like nothing is happening, not even throwing things at them
>also there was a borg or something who didnt do much but got spaced
>dodging behind zeela and healing her, only one laser hits me
>they end up accidentally spacing themselves, along with me, but I teleport back to Zeela
>heal her all the way to centcomm
Image
Image
Image
Image
User avatar
Deitus
Joined: Tue Feb 17, 2015 5:26 pm
Byond Username: Deitus

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Deitus » #129920

The unloved rock wrote:cuban pete
oh THAT was the round i was hos. yeah everyone in deadchat was flipping out cuz she made the chair on the ONE TILE that counts as brig space, so she redtexted
Image
Zilenan91
Confined to the shed
Joined: Sun Jul 19, 2015 8:09 pm
Byond Username: Zilenan91

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Zilenan91 » #129936

She wouldn't have greentexted anyways because no objectives.
Spoiler:
Zilenan91 wrote:
Just replace both their arms with chainsaws.

HAVE FUN ESCAPING NOW WITH NO ARMS
User avatar
Xhuis
Github User
Joined: Mon May 26, 2014 1:04 pm
Byond Username: Xhuis
Github Username: Xhuis
Location: North Carolina

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Xhuis » #129969

ShadowDimentio wrote:snip
I was the CE. I actually pushed you into the shard because I thought you were going to kill me right afterwards.
I'm an ex-coder for /tg/. I made the original versions of clockcult, shadowlings, revenants, His Grace, and other stuff.
I don't play, code, or participate in the community, but I occasionally post dumb stuff in the hut.
Kraso wrote:hi gay
wubli wrote:xhuis you said you were feeling better but every thread you make makes me worry more about your sanity
ExcessiveUseOfCobblestone wrote:Sorry I was making fun of xhuis' """""compromise""""" who insisted that was the correct term to use.
CitrusGender wrote:We've ended up disabling clockcult on sybil and bagil now (terry is having some problems.) We will give Xhuis some time until he wishes to work upon it again. As of now, please use this thread for ideas and not for bickering.
wubli wrote:you are a cultist of the gay
IkeTG wrote:It's a reflection of humanity, like all of man's creation. You cannot divorce this act from yourself, in a way there's a big titty moth inside all of us.
wesoda25 wrote:yeah no one was curious what it was from. Imagine choosing being a degenerate as your forum gimmick, LOL
User avatar
Not-Dorsidarf
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 4:14 pm
Byond Username: Dorsidwarf
Location: We're all going on an, admin holiday

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Not-Dorsidarf » #130108

Deitus wrote:
The unloved rock wrote:cuban pete
oh THAT was the round i was hos. yeah everyone in deadchat was flipping out cuz she made the chair on the ONE TILE that counts as brig space, so she redtexted
She didnt do anything remotely objective that round, just made everyone go boom and sailed away
Image
Image
kieth4 wrote: infrequently shitting yourself is fine imo
There is a lot of very bizarre nonsense being talked on this forum. I shall now remain silent and logoff until my points are vindicated.
Player who complainted over being killed for looting cap office wrote: Sun Jul 30, 2023 1:33 am Hey there, I'm Virescent, the super evil person who made the stupid appeal and didn't think it through enough. Just came here to say: screech, retards. Screech and writhe like the worms you are. Your pathetic little cries will keep echoing around for a while before quietting down. There is one great outcome from this: I rised up the blood pressure of some of you shitheads and lowered your lifespan. I'm honestly tempted to do this more often just to see you screech and writhe more, but that wouldn't be cool of me. So come on haters, show me some more of your high blood pressure please. 🖕🖕🖕
User avatar
sirnat
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2014 8:27 pm
Byond Username: Sirnat

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by sirnat » #130109

>Previous round, the wizard's round got fucked by a bug
>Name my clown self to ''The-Ragin-Mage''
>Spawn in, get wizard clothing, even replace shoes with sandals and remove backpack
>Walk around, have some fuckwit yell ''WIZNERD ABOVE BRIDGE''
> Crew defends me, tells him to let me trick or treat
>Goes around, to various places saying ''Trick or treat, smell my feet or give me something good to eat.''
>Medical didnt give me shit
>RD didn't give me shit.
>Random scientist gives me a large grenade
>I pray to honkmother, she gives me the spell of repulse (Thanks admins, you make my rounds fun.)
>Traitor kills me once
>I get revived in medbay, he runs by medbay with caps laser gun
>He turns and begins shooting me, ''GITTA WEIGH'' he launched into the wall jumps up but falls down again.. Me and the medical doctor laugh our asses off thinking he walked into his own shotgun blast somehow
>(Later on to find out he got morphined)
>Kill him, return the HoS's laser gun (I made a mistake in the first mentioning of it, was actually his gun))
>Plasma flooding throughout station, people cry out rogue AI.
>Goto robotics, and they actually fucking let me get a ripley decked out with good shit, diamond drill, gravity catapult, Repair drone
>Goto atmos, see the culprit, he fires the taser and it sets atmos on fire, I then chase him into space and lose him
>Later on, I arrive on the escape shuttle in the ripley, singularity is coming back after being released (Forgot to mention)
>I save three people by putting them in a locker, and releasing them on the shuttle
>Some of them die by someone, and some die by pressure in the shuttle being eaten by singu at the cockpit
>Heard something about CE earlier and actually remember him being a traitor
>He releases a parasite which fucks with the wrong wiz/clown
>I drill the parasite which to what I find later, put the CE into crit
>I search around the shuttle, breaking lockers looking for the CE (He was laying down, didnt see him in his armor)
>Shuttle is 30 seconds away
>I examine everyone on board, noones alive/crit.
>Was sad honk mother didnt give me a staff of res
>Random dude stands from the dead
>Im out of my ripley
>He tries to climb into my ripley
>''GITTA WEIGH!!''
>He launches out the fucking missing window I drilled to get into the shuttle
>Clown/wiz is the last survior
>Still holding his fake staff of magic
>Only survivor


I felt really bad about the last guy I killed, he was 30 sec away from greentext! But oh well, I really enjoyed the admin giving me repulse as a fun low pop gimmick for me to do as clown.
Zilenan91
Confined to the shed
Joined: Sun Jul 19, 2015 8:09 pm
Byond Username: Zilenan91

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Zilenan91 » #131088

>be me
>assistant.
>non-antag
>hatch a plan to become Chainsaw Man
>Ask AI to open EVA and it does it
>grab dat plasteel
>break into cargo and print a circular saw
>prime tool storage, get a welding tool and cable coils
>go to medbay to get surgery
>craft that shit on the surgery table
>have the surgery
>*infernal chainsaw noises
>suddenly shadowlings
>hear screaming of shadowlings in arrivals
>Chainsaw Man gives no fucks
>run to arrivals maint with an assload of lights on
>corner a sling in the bend between detectives office and the brig hallway
>he glares and nearly dies from my lights alone
>I get unstunned and destroy him with my chainsaw arm
>he gets gibbed
>all the slings later die and we evac


FURTHER ADVENTURES OF CHAINSAW MAN

>be me
>be metastation
>see syndicate bomb getting defused above bridge
>want to do Chainsaw Man again
>go to the goody hut above cargo
>my eyes glaze over
>there's slings wtf
>Xhuis antag traded to be a sling
>decon one of the rwalls back there not leading to space for the chainsaw
>greys-her-tide and I get thralled, we want to give Xhuis sling a chainsaw augmentation
>he has chitin carapace on so we can't make a sling with a chainsaw arm
>fug
>we get the QM before he can yell
>thralling thralling thralling
>eventually we have a shitload of thralls, the hallways are filled with N20, and there are dead and suffocating people everywhere from traitors
>I find a safe spot in maint and start giving CPR to the people in crit from oxyloss from N20
>cuff them all and thrall them
>suddenly NWANWALKDASDFLKAEL;SKAJDF
>ascension
>Xhuis thralls all the ERT, death squids, and crewmembers as we escape on the shuttle
>greentext
>tfw you were never able to be chainsaw man
>was still a great round

As it turns out, slings are pretty strong when the station is utterly fucked.
Spoiler:
Zilenan91 wrote:
Just replace both their arms with chainsaws.

HAVE FUN ESCAPING NOW WITH NO ARMS
User avatar
PKPenguin321
Site Admin
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2014 7:02 pm
Byond Username: PKPenguin321
Github Username: PKPenguin321
Location: U S A, U S A, U S A

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by PKPenguin321 » #131158

Zilenan91 wrote:>chainsaw man kills shadowling
>go on the forums one day
>stories of awesome thread has a new post
>it's about somebody using a feature i coded
>feelsgoodman.jpg
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well.
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
Image
User avatar
sirnat
Joined: Mon Oct 13, 2014 8:27 pm
Byond Username: Sirnat

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by sirnat » #131166

How the fug do you become a chainsaw man. Is it augmentation?
User avatar
PKPenguin321
Site Admin
Joined: Tue Jul 01, 2014 7:02 pm
Byond Username: PKPenguin321
Github Username: PKPenguin321
Location: U S A, U S A, U S A

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by PKPenguin321 » #131174

target somebody's arms and use surgical drapes on them, then do the chainsaw augmentation surgery
steps are just like organ manipulation, but with inserting a chainsaw as the final step
i probably should have changelogged the feature, in hindsight
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well.
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
Image
User avatar
Super Aggro Crag
In Game PermaBanned
Joined: Sat Mar 21, 2015 9:47 pm
Byond Username: Super Aggro Crag

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Super Aggro Crag » #131189

coders should changelog everything
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
Image
asskek
In Game PermaBanned
Joined: Sun Sep 20, 2015 11:53 pm
Byond Username: Asskek

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by asskek » #131284

> be me, shadowling
> get captured by sec (didn't know shadowlings resisted implants), sell out some thralls, sec is shit though and nothing actually happens, get rightly teamantagbanned
> make up for it by breaking out like a pro after gaining sec's trust
> head into maint, give Thomas Laser my shotgun and some cuffs stolen from sec
> thrall like 4 guys, the other sling was a pro and got the other 11
> ascend
> I give the thralls a big battle speech, "TONIGHT WE DINE ON BLOOD", lead the charge into brig, a battle ensues
> halfway through I get an idea
> kill myself
> drop dead on the brig floor
> sec and the thralls stop fighting, they just kind of stare at eachother
> mfw
Spoiler:
Image
Last edited by Guest on Mon Nov 02, 2015 11:24 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Reason: spoiler alert
User avatar
Montyblancs
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2015 5:09 pm
Byond Username: Montyblancs

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Montyblancs » #131393

>Oh boy, time for AI
>Depower the core's environment to kill the door so I can play longer than 3 minutes if it's nuke ops.
>It's nuke ops.
>Scream out 'AWWWWWWWPRATIVES' as brig, bridge, and HoP's office all explode.
>Watch the captain singlehandedly take out a suicide op with a macrobomb implant and walk away.
>check out my core real quick
>syndie borg standing in front of the door I depowered. What a surprise.
>bolt all the other doors in that room, depower that room's APC too.
>borg freaks out and starts shooting grenades at everything, blowing up the turrets and the bots.
>activate the holopad to laugh at him
>'uhhh guys I seem to be stuck'
>takes him about 10 minutes for him to realize that he can emag the apc and escape.
>Ops lose due to complete teamwipe one minute later.
User avatar
Saegrimr
Joined: Thu Jul 24, 2014 4:39 pm
Byond Username: Saegrimr

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Saegrimr » #131394

Well at least you openly admitted to metagaming.
tedward1337 wrote:Sae is like the racist grandad who everyone laughs at for being racist, but deep down we all know he's right.
User avatar
capi duffman
Joined: Wed Oct 08, 2014 7:28 am
Byond Username: Capi duffman

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by capi duffman » #131396

I know some players got jobbanned for that shit.
User avatar
Montyblancs
Joined: Fri Jul 03, 2015 5:09 pm
Byond Username: Montyblancs

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Montyblancs » #131418

Saegrimr wrote:Well at least you openly admitted to metagaming.
Eh, I can live without playing AI then. Sucks that it's a gamble with nukeops rounds.
confused rock
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:18 am
Byond Username: The unloved rock

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by confused rock » #131791

>ling assistant, gotta turn into the warden and steal blueprints
>other ling is ce, get blueprints but he almost immediately gets the shuttle called over an accidental singulo release
>find warden and a bunch of other guys hiding in sec to avoid the singulo, he is alone in the gulag room
>immediately stuns me no questions asked
>get back up and get into a fight with all of sec, didnt pick fleshmend so lose
>get dragged off, but guy dragging me gets fucked by singulo
>2 minutes until shuttle leaves
>crawl from bar as a monkey to sec pod, get taser
>fuck ton of people in sec pod who attack
>one of them flashbangs and I tase the fuck out of them
>notice lighter and bottle on ground
>burn jazora
>some people fall out before the pod leaves
>on the pod there is more of me regening after being dunked
>suddenly literally everyone but me gibs
>didnt get jazoras id but otherwise win
Image
Image
Image
Image
Dahitman
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2015 1:41 am
Byond Username: Dahitman

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Dahitman » #131836

Tater story from Basil.

Metastation ~10 people

>Ling RD
>Extract X Genomes, Steal HoS Tasergun, Kill Ben, Impersonate Caleb and have his ID
>Really trying hard to avoid murder to accomplish objective
>Don RD Armor, grab spray bottle, invest in mute stinger
>Go to HoS quarters after all access, cause no security round like every basil round
>Gotten Taser and Security HuD and termals augs for stalking later...
>Do a little bit of RnD then I skirt off to the bar to make neurotoxins and hug people
>Got the spray, find my victim Ben, all alone growing space weed with one tray in medical wing
>Mute sting, then spray him three four times about twenty seconds of KO
>cuff and drag him to genetics, strip his radio, pda, lock scanner door
>grab monkey, throw in other genetics console, make human, export to floppy
>plug floppy into Genetic console with Ben in it, now he's screaming
>"Please I have a family and four kids"
>I tell him I have to kill him otherwise, bad people sent me to kill you benny, this is a better solution (maybe).
>He pleads his family won't know him after he returns to centcom
>Doesn't matter, better than him dead
>Inject Occupant with new UI, UE, SE, He's now a random chick with a beard
>takes PDA, go to HoP
>Modify all information of his ID, medical, security to new name
>Uncuffs him
>Warns him "I'll kill you if you tells anyone."
>Check handheld crew scanner, Caleb's at the bar
>Open door, cat girl and caleb, classic "MAI WAIFU" scene
>Caleb about to go back to his dorm with her
>Tell him I need to show you something I found, cat girl needs to leave room
>Cat Girl leaves concerned, I mute sting, spray, then cuff him to the bartender's back room
>Strip radio, PDA
>Don't know why I decided to paper wrap him in the locker, it was there
>"Don't call for help, I keel you"
>He's screaming in slurred speech cause alcoholic neurotoxin's collateral damage
>Something about don't take my cat girl, she's mine, etc.,
>At ID console, I counterfeit his entire shit, PDA and ID, printed PDA colors, and everything.
>Store his original PDA in my bag
>Hand back his PDA/iD
>Free Caleb
>Resume RnD, possible greentext secured
>Wanted status pop up above my head
>O I C
>Goes to bridge, login of Benny; Immediately clear and delete my records off of security
>Inspected a person's PDA and found Benny's been snitching!
>Announce in com console as captain "Snitches Get Stiches".
>Goes to armory, find Benny there too
>Tries to spray him, Ben-E-gun shoots laser
>Get hit, RD Armor spaces me.
>Die hearing the victory cries of Benny over intercom as my last dying thought was... fuck.
>Then I remembered I was ling
>Got patched up, ugly as sin but Engineering is right there, and I have Caleb's ID
>Check Caleb's PDA to update it, incase he didn't
>tfw his Ikea catalogue's not locked :^)
>about >10 TC left iirc
>So That's why he needs his cat girl, i'm sorry Caleb.
>hardsuit helmet engaged
>checks med wing
>Benny paranoid as fuck, tee hee
>Modifies a monkey human, swaps and goes to HoP and the Clown's costume vendor to dress a bit better
>I'm now Jayce something, short hair chick, white/grey, Assistant :)
>Walk up to Ben at the Science autolathee, sprays him
>He doesn't fall, wtf?
>We bang out
>Lasers and ballistics flying everywhere
>Random Lizard (betrays) walks up disarm me once
>I fall.
>Being on the ground saved me from those bullets ironically.
>He's out of ammo, I'm low on mine, I run off as bystanders gather
>Another disguise foiled
>I return to my engineering suit's Caleb disguise
>Shuttle is called for some reason, vines I think
>Recharge Gun, check scanners
>Ben's just out of the transit tube to minsat.
>Go through vines in hallway to open clear room, Ben's unload shells
>5-6 shells on the ground
>I taze him in the chest, red beam him until *click*
>Toss HoS taser gun somewhere cause out of ammo
>strip & space Benny
>vines over ran everything in the room
>Realize I need that taser for objective
>Shuttle ETA 5 minutes, clearing vines now
>accidentally weld fuel tank
>blow up in my face, regenerate and ETA is now 1 minute 30 seconds
>Realize I don't have Caleb's DNA and threw out the objective taser gun cause it felt cool
>Sit at pod contemplating pacifist ling life

That's the closest I've gotten to a non-violent tater ling.

I think to enforce no snitching, I probably should have installed cavity bombs as backup.
User avatar
Wyzack
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:32 pm
Byond Username: Wyzack

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Wyzack » #131887

For the record, the only reason i was seducing that catgrill (poorly, mind you) was because PI was running a silly event and had taken up residency in my brain telling me to seduce and then murder her, which i ended up doing before blowing my brains out all over the bar. It was a fun round.
Arthur Thomson says, "Since there are no admins I would loging with another account and kill you"
Caleb Robinson laughs.
Arthur Thomson catches fire!
tusterman11 wrote:Can you stop lying? I just asked you and you are was a piece of shiit on me!!!
Kor wrote:I wish Wyzack was still an admin.
EngamerAzari's real number one fangirl <3
certified good poster
Dahitman
Joined: Thu Nov 05, 2015 1:41 am
Byond Username: Dahitman

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Dahitman » #131891

Wyzack wrote:For the record, the only reason i was seducing that catgrill (poorly, mind you) was because PI was running a silly event and had taken up residency in my brain telling me to seduce and then murder her, which i ended up doing before blowing my brains out all over the bar. It was a fun round.
Did you get you TC back for that round, I honestly didn't even think you were a tater until I checked your PDA. PI events are pretty fun to be honest, his demonic possessions are gdlk.

E: There's a feeling of general creepiness that you get no where else in this game except when PI possess your character. Almost jump scare level of startling for me personally on that second time.
User avatar
Wyzack
Joined: Fri Apr 18, 2014 11:32 pm
Byond Username: Wyzack

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by Wyzack » #131916

He was controlling me like he was an extradimensional alien who peers into the minds of human like he is watching TV. At the end after i killed her without actually trying to erp he said that this was lame and he was going to change the channel
Arthur Thomson says, "Since there are no admins I would loging with another account and kill you"
Caleb Robinson laughs.
Arthur Thomson catches fire!
tusterman11 wrote:Can you stop lying? I just asked you and you are was a piece of shiit on me!!!
Kor wrote:I wish Wyzack was still an admin.
EngamerAzari's real number one fangirl <3
certified good poster
confused rock
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:18 am
Byond Username: The unloved rock

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by confused rock » #131936

Im a fucking retard
Last edited by confused rock on Fri Nov 06, 2015 3:02 am, edited 2 times in total.
Image
Image
Image
Image
newfren
Joined: Tue May 12, 2015 12:57 pm
Byond Username: Newfren

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Post by newfren » #132001

did you just quote your own post from 4 posts up and change nothing
Post Reply

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users