Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

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Alipheese
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Alipheese » Sun Dec 04, 2016 5:46 am #232270

As scrubs.md, angry cleanbot I am offended by the coloring of that cleanbot.
Tell me how good or bad of an Admin I was!

Screenshots.
Spoiler:
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Quotes.
Spoiler:
PKPenguin321 wrote:holy shit that engineering setup
that man deserves a medal


Anonmare wrote:Gee Engie, why does your mom let you have TWO singulos?


The Legend of Scrubs, MD
You are a traitor!
Your current objectives:
Objective #1: They mocked you in life, a lesser janiborg they said. Now they shall know terror.
Objective #2: Hijack the shuttle to ensure no loyalist Nanotrasen crew escape alive and out of custody.

Cuboos wrote:> That god damn engineer who let the singularity loose was a traitor and the only reasonable person on that whole entire station.



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calzilla1
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby calzilla1 » Sun Dec 04, 2016 8:10 am #232284

Deitus wrote:memes

Oh yeah, i was the captain that round. I GOT FUCKING DECIMATED BY A DESWORD AFTER ARRESTING A CHANGELING
Life is too short for anything meaningful and too long for anything memeingful
Super Aggro Crag wrote:The best shitpost youll ever be responsible for will be your obituary.

Quality debate brought to you by ColonicAcid wrote:imagine having this little empathy

do you have autism bud? does your brain not see these people as humans? are they just a faceless statistic to you?

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Deitus
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Deitus » Mon Dec 05, 2016 4:01 am #232482

>op round
>kat richards captain
>three ops chasing her down
>eventually light her on fire
>she's slowing down, she's fucked
>SHE THROWS THE DISK AT THE OPS
>says in deadchat she thought maybe they'd spare her
>entire deadchat calls her a cuck
>this will forever haunt her

KAT THE KUCK
A
T

T
H
E

C
U
C
K

bonus: she made this announcement next round
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EDIT:
immediately after i posted this i found a dumbass that had managed to get himself trapped inside the turbine while it was lit, he got a trophy for "hottest man of the year." forgot to grab a screenie before he finally managed to figure out how to escape, so my bad.
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PKPenguin321
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby PKPenguin321 » Mon Dec 05, 2016 5:16 am #232498

holy hell i didnt see that captain announcement that's hilarious

also the hottest man of the year had me rolling

why were there so many hilarious rounds tonight
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
Image

Armhulen
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Armhulen » Mon Dec 05, 2016 6:49 pm #232606

i witnessed burning man and holy shit that was good

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Copybass
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Copybass » Mon Dec 05, 2016 10:29 pm #232652

>detective
>finally have a round go my way, make the right decision when checking out a crimescene, pull a suspected cultist aside
>end up in brig with the cultie
>tazered down by a scientist who I should have gunned down immediately on seeing
>he fails to kill me because helpful intent
>get up unholster open fire
>no cuffs but harmstick and revolver butt
>im_doing_it.jpg
>chaplain runs in with his hand on fire ready to give out fuckins'
>yes time for back to back gundowns with a bro
>he burns me
>uh oh
>AI tells him to stop hes got the wrong dude
>he kills me and the cultists run off happily
>he thought I was cult
>AI explains over comms
>he suicides in shame
>total_cult_victory.ogg
Christ that shit was funny, I don't fuck something up and I still manage to fuck it up
I like sybil

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Cuboos
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Cuboos » Mon Dec 05, 2016 10:42 pm #232656

Not much of a story, but still amusing.

One time as the captain it was a rev round, we somehow got all the heads of staff safely on the bridge, with the exception of the HoS, who somehow managed to coordinate security enough to lock down the brig, meaning the revs pretty much had to stick with makeshift weapons. They kept using the AI to remove the lock down on the bridge and a few managed to slip in during those times. I tried an "only listen to the heads of staff" law, but the AI said the second law's higher priority over wrote it. So i got an idea, use the "one human" card to make the heads of staff the only human. So i got the card, put in the heads of staff and told the AI to state laws, "Law 0: The heads of staff is the only human". The HoS requested his security team be added to the "only human" list, somehow i fucked this up and the came out as, "Law 0: and security is the only human". After a few attempts i managed to get it to, "Law 0: The heads of staff and security is the only human". The AI complained about the bad grammar for most of the round -- but it worked -- it refused to listen to the Revs and gladly killed them if it ever got the chance. Something very satisfying about watching a line of revs die from being crushed to death by emergency shutters. The revs managed to convert the entire crew, but were so disorganized and chaotic with their attacks (plus ensuring the AI is only on our side), they were eliminated pretty quickly.
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/TG/ First and Only Sound guy
The only Dev unanimously loved least hated.

Cik
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Cik » Tue Dec 06, 2016 3:17 am #232696

whoever made firelocks damage people is a god tbh

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MimicFaux
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby MimicFaux » Thu Dec 22, 2016 10:31 pm #237873

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Lemme break down a few things here for you. This was a long ass time ago, maybe a year or so. Still getting my spacelegs. Here we have me (Nathaniel Robsinson) trying to do right by stealing the nuke core. Except, I missed the detail about wearing protective equipment. So...

>Collapse to radiation, slowing sinking into crit.
>Officer shows up to answer the security alert of a vault break in.
>Starts to arrest the criminal scum, realizes he's dying, tries to leave, dies.
>Doctor sees two people dying to toxin damage, goes to do his job, succumbs to radiation pouring out of the exposed nuke.
>Chemist buddy follows up to check on his doctor friend, dies
>Warden investigates what happened to his officer, dies
>Assistant tries to loot the warden, also dies.

By the end of it, NINE people, died to my fuck-up. It was glorious.
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roadrage
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby roadrage » Fri Dec 23, 2016 6:04 pm #238052

Probably the best round I've had playing SS13 in the month I've been playing.

Decide I don't want to put up with the bullshit on basil tonight, so log in to sybil. Friend asks me if I'm playing ss13, wants me to log into basil. Hell no. He starts bitching about the murderboners on sybil, and box station. I inform him sybil is on delta station. He shuts up.

Select my lizard character, Im-Muranatepa (need to come up with a decent engineer-lizard name one of these days).
Round is about to start, roll engineer.
We quickly get the engine up, tesla. Everyone else fucks off, I busy myself cleaning up the disaster zone they left behind. Put up tools, shut lockers, things like that.
Engineering now looks like professionals work there, and not like a bunch of hairless apes rampaged through.
Go try to find some smokes. (Delta needs a cig machine in the engineering foyer.)
Find the cig machine in the cafeteria area is disassembled. Fuck.
Find cigs in arrivals finally. Vend Robust reds, a lighter and light up.
Head back to engineering, people running around, ignoring the lizard thankfully. (I'm very unrobust at combat anyway)
Check on the engine, some of the other engineers have been back, clean up after them, again.
Bitch on the engineer channel about cleaning up after yourself.
Go to engineering foyer to hang out for a bit.
One of the other engineers comes in from the AI satellite's direction. Starts reading a book. Suspicious. Pull out my crowbar just in case.
He asks me if this book looks funny, walks over and hands it to me.
Restrained. Resist. Clock cult. Fuck.
Asks for metal. He's building a base north of the solars.
Look in the storage room, someone actually brought a hardsuit back!
Get hardsuit, go to maintenance, disassemble floor tiles, girders, and whatever else I can to salvage metal. (didn't think to look for a machine to get a RCD out of)
Leader says on cult comms he desperately needs metal. I take him 12 sheets, and go back to maintenance.
Have another stack of 10 sheets when the cult is discovered. Some other shit happens on the east side of the station. Shuttle is called.
Converted borg takes leader into the ai chamber, converts the AI.
AI recalls shuttle, borg disassembles the comms console.
Head to the AI sat, help build a fortress.
Finally get all the scripture unlocked, summon Ratvar.
Light up my final smoke of the shift, and laugh as the heathens run for the shuttle.
Marooned on SS13, Cult victory.

And my friend wonders why I prefer to play on sybil. :roll: I've never had a round like that on basil, always get killed or the station blows up 10 minutes in. This round was probably 2hrs.

Also, I've got a lot of learning to do. Lots of depth to this game. I'll get there, though.

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DemonFiren
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby DemonFiren » Fri Dec 23, 2016 9:03 pm #238108

>tesla
And that's supposed to be a good round?
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non-lizard things:
Spoiler:
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Okand37
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Okand37 » Fri Dec 23, 2016 10:32 pm #238135

Thus falls the last defender of golem-kind, a true hero.
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Are you being the neighbour Mr. Rogers would've wanted you to be?

roadrage
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby roadrage » Sat Dec 24, 2016 4:25 am #238193

DemonFiren wrote:>tesla
And that's supposed to be a good round?


Unfortunately, everyone seems to have a boner for the tesla. I've been in two separate heated arguments tonight, everyone wants to use the pussy engine. Rarely does anyone else want to use the sing.

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TheSharmat
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby TheSharmat » Sat Dec 24, 2016 4:34 am #238195

So someone from science decided to make a medbot train with pAIs to annoy the fuck out of everyone. Turns out AI was rogue though and she ended up dieing, leaving the pAIs with the directive to "listen to Citizen Snips". We only had one option at this point, which was to invade the AI core and annoy it to death. In the end a hugbot ended up destroying the core.

Spoiler:
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Waplo
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Waplo » Wed Dec 28, 2016 11:54 am #239107

Midpop round
Be clown
Chaplain asks me to come by the Chapel alone without telling anyone
He asks what kind of clown I am
"A sad clown"
He asks if I enjoy causing chaos and destruction
I say it's the only thing that give me joy
He promise me funny items if I can kill a particular assistant
Agree and return to bar
The assistant corpse is on the table
Grab him and bring him to the Chapel
He asks me to find the nuclear disk
We perform a ritual
The Gods turn me into a tunnel Clown, with a hoodie, an axe, a thermal monocle and all access
I stalk the tunnels
Enter Captain office with another friend of the Chaplain
Cap see and stun us
Put in brig
Sec don't know I have all access, they leave my Id in its place
1 minutes later I open the locker, recover my stuff and open the cell
walk into the armory and grab guns
walk into HoS office and take the pinpointer
go into ghetto bar to meet Chaplain
Scream "I found the pinpointer!"
pissed off traitor bartender out of nowhere kills us both

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MrAlphonzo
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby MrAlphonzo » Fri Dec 30, 2016 10:18 pm #239710

>Sec officer
>Go undercover, wear chicken suit, ditch some of the standard gear to blend in more
>End up catching a scientist with sleeping carp
>Get thermals, reviver implant, CNS reboot, no-drop, etc etc
>Later in sci, wandering around the hallways
>RD starts murdering a miner because he's wearing a blood red hardsuit
>Taze the RD, shove him away, and try to give the miner medical attention
>RD comes back, starts shooting at me again, and I go down
>Beats me into crit, back up is taking forever to get here
>Reviver kicks in, and I harmbaton the fucker
>Grab his PDA, its unlocked and has 19 TC
>Shuttle docks, bring the miner to cloning in the hopes that'd be fast enough and take his hardsuit due to the inevitable breaches on the shuttle
>Buy desword and noslips, of course :^)
>Hop on the asteroid shuttle
>Check in on a little group in a cramped corner of the shuttle
>Just a borg shooting some lolipops, some tiders and a clown goofing off
>Shitter geneticist spams EMP implant in the middle of the group and triggers my reviver implant
>Go into crit for a few minutes
>Assume they are valid since they just EMPed an asimov borg for no raisin
>E-bow and desword before they can use that EMP implant again and kill me
>I shit on tators and got sweet loot, today was a good shift
>Bwoink
>"WHAT"
>Turns out that the geneticist wasn't an antag and that it was my fault for getting hit by the EMP. Got a spooky scary note.
>Still got that loot tho :^)

>Another round
>Go undercover
>Not as smooth
>Dress up as a big chicken, my usual disguise
>Thought I heard emagging in the cap's office
>Hack in
>The Captain disablers me for a solid three minutes until he got "I'M A SEC OFFICER YOU JACKASS" through his head
>Go into brig to escort some arrest
>A sec officer tazes and cuffs me
>Not this again
>Eventually get let go
>Decide to change disguise due to everyone yelling about the big chicken over comms
>Switch to green poncho, green sombrero, and tacticool to look as much like a tider as possible.
>Cargo has its own R&D division, decide to sneak in and make sure they aren't making anything too deadly
>A tech drags me into the bay and I walk in on a janitor, an assistant, and QM Bryce Pax crafting a master plan to raid the brig
>I climb into a locker with the assistant, get wrapped, and disposaled to the HoS' office
>Climb out and taze the assistant
>"DEEP UNDERCOVER"
>The assistant is stammering about an undercover cop over cargo comms and asking for Pax to help while Pax is just screaming "SHIT" "FUCK" "I CAN'T HELP YOU"
>Pax's shittery is contained in a cell and I go about my shift
>Terrifyingly quiet for about fourty minutes
>Eventually we all leave due to a kudzu infestation

Another great day for Rex Salazar.
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PKPenguin321
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby PKPenguin321 » Fri Dec 30, 2016 10:50 pm #239714

got a few from way back that i remembered

>be morph on boxstation
>crew's onto me
>slippin and slidin around being a menace
>captain in particular REALLY hates me
>manage to disguise at him much to his anguish
>go to hallway above bridge disguised as captain
>some idiot placed a bluespace shelter there blocking the hall, sec is there unable to get to their department
>start screaming "THAT'S IT!!"
>"I'VE HAD IT WITH THESE FUCKING SHELTERS!!"
>"SEC I NEED YOU TO EXECUTE ALL THESE PEOPLE IN THERE RIGHT NOW THAT IS AN ORDER OR I WILL DEMOTE YOU!!"
>sec actually starts beating them to death, the absolute madmen
>they fight back and a full on brawl breaks out
>real captain rolls up and sees the chaos
>then he sees me disguised as him and flips
>i get outta there via a vent while everybody's distracted fighting
>captain and sec end up killed by the mob, a lot of the mob is dead
>feed on the free corpses

another story

>traitor on box
>wanted ling but oh well
>get chameleon kit, adrenal implant, esword
>nab an ID off a suicided corpse in disposals
>put it on and chameleon into some retarded outfit
>go out into a hallway, esword a dude to death in plain view, duck into maint
>somebody calls me out over radio and chases after me
>quickly chameleon into an engineering hardsuit, swap IDs
>he comes in and i talk
>"I saw the traitor head east that way"
>"oh awesome can you help me take him down he's got an esword"
>"Of course my man let's go"
>head into a deep part of maint with him
>cut off his legs and head while in disguise
>"surprise it's me"
>take his ID and chameleon into his clothes, now i'm him
>do this a few more times, killing people and becoming them, never getting caught
>basically a budget changeling
>shuttle docks and i realize i have a die a glorious death objective
>slip HoS as he runs to shuttle and he drops an esword ???
>take it and make a dual esword and fuck him up
>start rampaging in the escape hallway with a huge bodycount
>scientist walks out of science with a bag of holding
>fuck him up and take it, try to print another but protolathe has no gold
>shuttle leaves and AI is desperately trying to wall me in
>suddenly miner walks in with a dual esword and another bag of holding
>we duel and i win
>pop a BoH bomb much to the AI's dismay
>greentext
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
Image

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D&B
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby D&B » Fri Dec 30, 2016 11:06 pm #239719

MrAlphonzo wrote:>Sec officer
>Go undercover, wear chicken suit, ditch some of the standard gear to blend in more
>End up catching a scientist with sleeping carp
>Get thermals, reviver implant, CNS reboot, no-drop, etc etc
>Later in sci, wandering around the hallways
>RD starts murdering a miner because he's wearing a blood red hardsuit
>Taze the RD, shove him away, and try to give the miner medical attention
>RD comes back, starts shooting at me again, and I go down
>Beats me into crit, back up is taking forever to get here
>Reviver kicks in, and I harmbaton the fucker
>Grab his PDA, its unlocked and has 19 TC
>Shuttle docks, bring the miner to cloning in the hopes that'd be fast enough and take his hardsuit due to the inevitable breaches on the shuttle
>Buy desword and noslips, of course :^)
>Hop on the asteroid shuttle
>Check in on a little group in a cramped corner of the shuttle
>Just a borg shooting some lolipops, some tiders and a clown goofing off
>Shitter geneticist spams EMP implant in the middle of the group and triggers my reviver implant
>Go into crit for a few minutes
>Assume they are valid since they just EMPed an asimov borg for no raisin
>E-bow and desword before they can use that EMP implant again and kill me
>I shit on tators and got sweet loot, today was a good shift
>Bwoink
>"WHAT"
>Turns out that the geneticist wasn't an antag and that it was my fault for getting hit by the EMP. Got a spooky scary note.
>Still got that loot tho :^)

Another great day for Rex Salazar.


What happened to act like an antag get treated like one. Or use antag items gives the crew believable grounds to assume you're a traitor.
Spoiler:
[20:26:02]ADMIN: PM: [censored admin]->[censored]: Welp. It was just a prank bro isn't a very good excuse when it comes to unprovoked nonantag murder, but since this is your first time doing it and you seem to understand the problem instead of a bannu I'm just going to leave you with a warning. Please PLEASE don't do this again in the future, as funny as crackhead broken bottle memes can be. Alrighty? Do you have any input on this?
[20:26:39]ADMIN: PM: [censored]->[censored admin]: Alright, no problem. I have some input. Fuck my boy pussy.
[20:27:06]ADMIN: PM: [censored admin]->[censored]: Okay then. Have fun.
[20:31:29]ADMIN: PM: [censored admin]->[censored]: Excuse me?

J_Madison wrote:that's a stupid fucking stat
you don't play, you've never played
lying little shit with your bullshit stat
fuck you

ColonicAcid wrote:and with enough practise i too could blow my own dick so well that only the gods know how it feels.

onleavedontatme
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby onleavedontatme » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:49 am #239731

D&B wrote:
MrAlphonzo wrote:>Sec officer
>Go undercover, wear chicken suit, ditch some of the standard gear to blend in more
>End up catching a scientist with sleeping carp
>Get thermals, reviver implant, CNS reboot, no-drop, etc etc
>Later in sci, wandering around the hallways
>RD starts murdering a miner because he's wearing a blood red hardsuit
>Taze the RD, shove him away, and try to give the miner medical attention
>RD comes back, starts shooting at me again, and I go down
>Beats me into crit, back up is taking forever to get here
>Reviver kicks in, and I harmbaton the fucker
>Grab his PDA, its unlocked and has 19 TC
>Shuttle docks, bring the miner to cloning in the hopes that'd be fast enough and take his hardsuit due to the inevitable breaches on the shuttle
>Buy desword and noslips, of course :^)
>Hop on the asteroid shuttle
>Check in on a little group in a cramped corner of the shuttle
>Just a borg shooting some lolipops, some tiders and a clown goofing off
>Shitter geneticist spams EMP implant in the middle of the group and triggers my reviver implant
>Go into crit for a few minutes
>Assume they are valid since they just EMPed an asimov borg for no raisin
>E-bow and desword before they can use that EMP implant again and kill me
>I shit on tators and got sweet loot, today was a good shift
>Bwoink
>"WHAT"
>Turns out that the geneticist wasn't an antag and that it was my fault for getting hit by the EMP. Got a spooky scary note.
>Still got that loot tho :^)

Another great day for Rex Salazar.


What happened to act like an antag get treated like one. Or use antag items gives the crew believable grounds to assume you're a traitor.


Trialmins are often a bit eager with the notes, gotta pretend they're hard workers for a while.

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D&B
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby D&B » Sat Dec 31, 2016 12:53 am #239733

I can't believe this degree of victim shaming.

Literally shaking right now
Spoiler:
[20:26:02]ADMIN: PM: [censored admin]->[censored]: Welp. It was just a prank bro isn't a very good excuse when it comes to unprovoked nonantag murder, but since this is your first time doing it and you seem to understand the problem instead of a bannu I'm just going to leave you with a warning. Please PLEASE don't do this again in the future, as funny as crackhead broken bottle memes can be. Alrighty? Do you have any input on this?
[20:26:39]ADMIN: PM: [censored]->[censored admin]: Alright, no problem. I have some input. Fuck my boy pussy.
[20:27:06]ADMIN: PM: [censored admin]->[censored]: Okay then. Have fun.
[20:31:29]ADMIN: PM: [censored admin]->[censored]: Excuse me?

J_Madison wrote:that's a stupid fucking stat
you don't play, you've never played
lying little shit with your bullshit stat
fuck you

ColonicAcid wrote:and with enough practise i too could blow my own dick so well that only the gods know how it feels.

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IcePacks
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby IcePacks » Wed Jan 04, 2017 12:20 am #240570

MrAlphonzo wrote:>Another round
>Go undercover
>Not as smooth
>Dress up as a big chicken, my usual disguise
>Thought I heard emagging in the cap's office
>Hack in
>The Captain disablers me for a solid three minutes until he got "I'M A SEC OFFICER YOU JACKASS" through his head
>Go into brig to escort some arrest
>A sec officer tazes and cuffs me
>Not this again
>Eventually get let go
>Decide to change disguise due to everyone yelling about the big chicken over comms
>Switch to green poncho, green sombrero, and tacticool to look as much like a tider as possible.
>Cargo has its own R&D division, decide to sneak in and make sure they aren't making anything too deadly
>A tech drags me into the bay and I walk in on a janitor, an assistant, and QM Bryce Pax crafting a master plan to raid the brig
>I climb into a locker with the assistant, get wrapped, and disposaled to the HoS' office
>Climb out and taze the assistant
>"DEEP UNDERCOVER"
>The assistant is stammering about an undercover cop over cargo comms and asking for Pax to help while Pax is just screaming "SHIT" "FUCK" "I CAN'T HELP YOU"
>Pax's shittery is contained in a cell and I go about my shift
>Terrifyingly quiet for about fourty minutes
>Eventually we all leave due to a kudzu infestation

Another great day for Rex Salazar.

i was out in mere minutes, and eventually wound up dying in an insane plot to try and replace centcomm inspectors with various conscripted assistants
OOC: Deitus: tfw RL porn doesnt sexually excite me anymore

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Screemonster
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Screemonster » Wed Jan 04, 2017 1:43 am #240586

Not TG, but a few months ago (mostly for laughs) I added hostile geese to polaris.

Fast forward, and I get this message:

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MimicFaux
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby MimicFaux » Fri Jan 13, 2017 6:54 pm #243649

Late join as clown
Find all access
High five the mime and give them all access too. Get mutagen to grow the biggest, baddest bananas this side of tau ceti.
Shuttle called, dang.
new idea! get space lube, and hand tele. Classic.

I start with rigging up some basic girders near the top of escape wing. Generally, people don't change 'lanes' when running down the halls, so I set their path early, and leave open halls the rest of the way. I open the portal, and a few tiles further up, I spritz the floor with lube. Every single person coming down that hallway stayed on the path I chose and slipped on the lube, careening into the portal. Warping them somewhere nearby randomly everytime I re-opened the portal.

Now, I'm having a pretty good time with this. So much so, I'm not even bothering with boarding the shuttle myself. Staying behind to maintain the lube / portal. What happened next took it from merely, 'Pretty funny' to 'oh jesus my sides'
What I didn't realize, is that when you slip on lube, the portal maintains your momentum. With some thirty seconds left until the shuttle departs, the last portal I open had it's randomized drop off directly above the lube tile. Here comes scientist Rusty. He slips. He goes into the portal. Reappears above the lube tile, sent over the lube tile, back into the portal. RINSE AND REPEAT. I'm staring at my screen slack jawed in amazement at the closed loop I made. Now comes along a chemist, Zoe. She enters the same loop. All I can do is shout "C-c-c-combo!" over and over as these two poor souls get on Mr. Bones Wild Ride. Absolutely magical.

I was later stabbed to death by Rusty once the portal expired.

The traitors were:
Zoe the chemist
1#: Kill someone, success
2#: Escape, failed
The traitor has failed!
Rusty the scientist
1#: Kill someone, success
2#: Escape, failed
The traitor has failed!

TFW RNGesus himself comes down and blesses your prank, cucking two traitors out of their easy green.
ImageImageImage

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DemonFiren
 
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:15 pm
Byond Username: DemonFiren

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby DemonFiren » Fri Jan 13, 2017 7:25 pm #243659

Literally the toppest of honks.
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non-lizard things:
Spoiler:
Image

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delaron
 
Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2014 9:44 pm
Byond Username: Delaron

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby delaron » Fri Jan 13, 2017 7:54 pm #243667

MimicFaux wrote:Late join as clown
Find all access
High five the mime and give them all access too. Get mutagen to grow the biggest, baddest bananas this side of tau ceti.
Shuttle called, dang.
new idea! get space lube, and hand tele. Classic.

I start with rigging up some basic girders near the top of escape wing. Generally, people don't change 'lanes' when running down the halls, so I set their path early, and leave open halls the rest of the way. I open the portal, and a few tiles further up, I spritz the floor with lube. Every single person coming down that hallway stayed on the path I chose and slipped on the lube, careening into the portal. Warping them somewhere nearby randomly everytime I re-opened the portal.

Now, I'm having a pretty good time with this. So much so, I'm not even bothering with boarding the shuttle myself. Staying behind to maintain the lube / portal. What happened next took it from merely, 'Pretty funny' to 'oh jesus my sides'
What I didn't realize, is that when you slip on lube, the portal maintains your momentum. With some thirty seconds left until the shuttle departs, the last portal I open had it's randomized drop off directly above the lube tile. Here comes scientist Rusty. He slips. He goes into the portal. Reappears above the lube tile, sent over the lube tile, back into the portal. RINSE AND REPEAT. I'm staring at my screen slack jawed in amazement at the closed loop I made. Now comes along a chemist, Zoe. She enters the same loop. All I can do is shout "C-c-c-combo!" over and over as these two poor souls get on Mr. Bones Wild Ride. Absolutely magical.

I was later stabbed to death by Rusty once the portal expired.

The traitors were:
Zoe the chemist
1#: Kill someone, success
2#: Escape, failed
The traitor has failed!
Rusty the scientist
1#: Kill someone, success
2#: Escape, failed
The traitor has failed!

TFW RNGesus himself comes down and blesses your prank, cucking two traitors out of their easy green.


Doing Honk Gods work you beautiful bastard! Honk on!
-------
I'm not smart enough to meme.

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DemonFiren
 
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:15 pm
Byond Username: DemonFiren

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby DemonFiren » Fri Jan 13, 2017 8:01 pm #243668

>honk gods
>who is the honkmother
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non-lizard things:
Spoiler:
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calzilla1
 
Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2016 5:55 pm
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby calzilla1 » Tue Jan 17, 2017 4:20 pm #244986

>CM
>playing corprate liason
>spawn in and my menorah starts attacking me
>OY VEY
>almost die
>FUCKING GOYIM SAVE ME
>corprate says the menorah was a disguised space bear
>THE NAZIS ARE TRYIN' TO HOLOCAUST ME AGAIN
>muhreens start spouting nazi memes
>YOU GOYIM ARE OFFENDING ME, IM TELLING WT AND YOU ARE ALL GETTING COURT MARSHELED AND YOUR
FAMILYS ARE TOO
>the marines start harrasing me
>IM CALLING IN THE BIG GUYS, YOU ALL GONNA FEEL THE WRATH OF SPACE ISRAEL
>the police are breaking in so I hide in the back room
>OY VEY THE SS ARE HERE TO GAS ME JUST LIKE MY BRUDDAS AND SISTAHS
>they are right out side my door
>IF ANY OF YOU FUCKING GOYIM COME IN ILL FUCKING SHOOT
>BOOM
>OY VEY
>BANG BANG BANG
>get shoa'ed by like 1488 marines and police
Life is too short for anything meaningful and too long for anything memeingful
Super Aggro Crag wrote:The best shitpost youll ever be responsible for will be your obituary.

Quality debate brought to you by ColonicAcid wrote:imagine having this little empathy

do you have autism bud? does your brain not see these people as humans? are they just a faceless statistic to you?

Armhulen
 
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Byond Username: Armhulenn
Github Username: Armhulen

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Armhulen » Tue Jan 17, 2017 4:22 pm #244987

that's hilarious but it only proves that high rp is a common myth

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DemonFiren
 
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:15 pm
Byond Username: DemonFiren

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby DemonFiren » Tue Jan 17, 2017 5:42 pm #245013

Proves that CM is a meme tbh
as if we didn't know
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non-lizard things:
Spoiler:
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firecage
Github User
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby firecage » Thu Jan 19, 2017 11:39 am #245660

Well, not really a story, but something which made me chuckle, since people never learn.

So, earlier today I got traitor, cool. I then decided to trade my TC's for, mainly a staff of healing to be the best doctor ever!!!
But naturally, like normally, Weepo begins to push his cheeks together. And then, IC'ly, he tells me:

Appealing-To-Fetishists (as Jack Bright) hisses, "Why you gotta be firecage and get sssnowflake ssstaffsss and other nonsssenssse many roundsss"

As I said, not really a story, but definitely made me a chuckle. Oh, how people never learn.
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DemonFiren
 
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:15 pm
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby DemonFiren » Thu Jan 19, 2017 12:49 pm #245669

Well, it's not like he's wrong.
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non-lizard things:
Spoiler:
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Armhulen
 
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Github Username: Armhulen

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Armhulen » Thu Jan 19, 2017 4:45 pm #245706

DemonFiren wrote:Well, it's not like he's wrong.

yeah, appealing to fetishists. can't say it better

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PKPenguin321
In-Game Game Master
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby PKPenguin321 » Thu Jan 19, 2017 7:49 pm #245770

A healing staff is probably the stupidest shit you can buy as a traitor. Instead of creating conflict (leads to chaos, fun), you get a tool that instant and effortlessly diffuses conflict and makes it inconsequential (leads to pseudo-extended). You're a chode for buying that (like, friendly-wizard level), and the same goes to the admin that allowed it. Very upset.
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
Image

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confused rock
 
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:18 am
Byond Username: The unloved rock

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby confused rock » Thu Jan 19, 2017 9:04 pm #245782

its fuckin dumb to say that shit ic but jesus christ I couldn't have said it better
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firecage
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby firecage » Thu Jan 19, 2017 9:24 pm #245786

Honk. Man, people reaaaaally gets a stick stuck up their assses. Perhaps they should go find a pure PVP SS13 server.
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D&B
 
Joined: Mon Jun 13, 2016 2:23 am
Location: *teleports behind you*
Byond Username: Repukan

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby D&B » Thu Jan 19, 2017 9:33 pm #245788

>Stupid OP item that denies death on hands of medbay
>People get their plans and assassinations foiled because there's a magic one click button
>Sec and antag now have to permanently remove people from the round since with this item in station their revival is a given
>Thus enraging more people
>"Lmao guys just go to a PvP server XD"

You're an imbecile if you think completely denying a game feature will bring nothing but worse treatment in order to counter free quick revivals
Spoiler:
[20:26:02]ADMIN: PM: [censored admin]->[censored]: Welp. It was just a prank bro isn't a very good excuse when it comes to unprovoked nonantag murder, but since this is your first time doing it and you seem to understand the problem instead of a bannu I'm just going to leave you with a warning. Please PLEASE don't do this again in the future, as funny as crackhead broken bottle memes can be. Alrighty? Do you have any input on this?
[20:26:39]ADMIN: PM: [censored]->[censored admin]: Alright, no problem. I have some input. Fuck my boy pussy.
[20:27:06]ADMIN: PM: [censored admin]->[censored]: Okay then. Have fun.
[20:31:29]ADMIN: PM: [censored admin]->[censored]: Excuse me?

J_Madison wrote:that's a stupid fucking stat
you don't play, you've never played
lying little shit with your bullshit stat
fuck you

ColonicAcid wrote:and with enough practise i too could blow my own dick so well that only the gods know how it feels.

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DemonFiren
 
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Byond Username: DemonFiren

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby DemonFiren » Thu Jan 19, 2017 9:38 pm #245789

Firecage has been shit for as long as I remember, nothing new here.
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non-lizard things:
Spoiler:
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firecage
Github User
 
Joined: Thu Apr 17, 2014 4:22 pm
Byond Username: Firecage
Github Username: Firecage

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby firecage » Thu Jan 19, 2017 9:41 pm #245790

I might take DemonFiren seriously, since he is my waifu. D&B, I don't take you seriously though, at all. You are pretty much like Paprika was before they become decent, or like Startoad was. Heck, or even like Punnches was in OOC.
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Image

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PKPenguin321
In-Game Game Master
 
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby PKPenguin321 » Thu Jan 19, 2017 10:28 pm #245812

firecage wrote:I might take DemonFiren seriously, since he is my waifu. D&B, I don't take you seriously though, at all. You are pretty much like Paprika was before they become decent, or like Startoad was. Heck, or even like Punnches was in OOC.

Your permaban has been scheduled for February 29th, have a secure day
i play Lauser McMauligan. clown name is Cold-Ass Honkey
i have three other top secret characters as well
tell the best admin how good he is
Spoiler:
Image

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Qbopper
 
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2015 6:34 pm
Location: Canada
Byond Username: Qbopper
Github Username: Qbopper

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Qbopper » Thu Jan 19, 2017 10:35 pm #245817

PKPenguin321 wrote:
firecage wrote:I might take DemonFiren seriously, since he is my waifu. D&B, I don't take you seriously though, at all. You are pretty much like Paprika was before they become decent, or like Startoad was. Heck, or even like Punnches was in OOC.

Your permaban has been scheduled for February 29th, have a secure day


they have a spider for an avatar they deserve a bant
Limey wrote:its too late.

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confused rock
 
Joined: Fri Sep 25, 2015 12:18 am
Byond Username: The unloved rock

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby confused rock » Fri Jan 20, 2017 3:48 am #245938

Qbopper wrote:
PKPenguin321 wrote:
firecage wrote:I might take DemonFiren seriously, since he is my waifu. D&B, I don't take you seriously though, at all. You are pretty much like Paprika was before they become decent, or like Startoad was. Heck, or even like Punnches was in OOC.

Your permaban has been scheduled for February 29th, have a secure day


they have a spider for an avatar they deserve a bant
Image

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firecage
Github User
 
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Byond Username: Firecage
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby firecage » Fri Jan 20, 2017 6:08 am #245967

PKPenguin321 wrote:
firecage wrote:I might take DemonFiren seriously, since he is my waifu. D&B, I don't take you seriously though, at all. You are pretty much like Paprika was before they become decent, or like Startoad was. Heck, or even like Punnches was in OOC.

Your permaban has been scheduled for February 29th, have a secure day


Honk.
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Image

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Whoisthere
 
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2014 8:11 am
Byond Username: Whoisthere

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Whoisthere » Fri Jan 20, 2017 9:59 am #246004

firecage wrote:I might take DemonFiren seriously, since he is my waifu. D&B, I don't take you seriously though, at all. You are pretty much like Paprika was before they become decent, or like Startoad was. Heck, or even like Punnches was in OOC.


No screw you the deepthroat dino is my waifu
Sad elegy
Highly suitable for use in funerals

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DemonFiren
 
Joined: Sat Dec 13, 2014 9:15 pm
Byond Username: DemonFiren

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby DemonFiren » Fri Jan 20, 2017 10:17 am #246006

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fuck off, both of you
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non-lizard things:
Spoiler:
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Whoisthere
 
Joined: Mon Jul 14, 2014 8:11 am
Byond Username: Whoisthere

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Whoisthere » Fri Jan 20, 2017 1:53 pm #246023

Way to ruin a thread!
Sad elegy
Highly suitable for use in funerals

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calzilla1
 
Joined: Wed Jun 01, 2016 5:55 pm
Byond Username: Calzilla1

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby calzilla1 » Fri Jan 20, 2017 4:03 pm #246057

Kill all lizards
Life is too short for anything meaningful and too long for anything memeingful
Super Aggro Crag wrote:The best shitpost youll ever be responsible for will be your obituary.

Quality debate brought to you by ColonicAcid wrote:imagine having this little empathy

do you have autism bud? does your brain not see these people as humans? are they just a faceless statistic to you?

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MimicFaux
 
Joined: Sun Apr 10, 2016 10:49 pm
Location: Spaced by Mass Driver
Byond Username: MimicFaux

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby MimicFaux » Fri Jan 20, 2017 4:07 pm #246058

So this one time, as a clown, I slipped the captain and THEN pied him in the face. Haha, so great.
Back on topic.
ImageImageImage

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delaron
 
Joined: Sat Aug 23, 2014 9:44 pm
Byond Username: Delaron

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby delaron » Fri Jan 20, 2017 4:49 pm #246076

MimicFaux wrote:So this one time, as a clown, I slipped the captain and THEN pied him in the face. Haha, so great.
Back on topic.



Such original! Must teach ways.
-------
I'm not smart enough to meme.

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Qbopper
 
Joined: Fri Jul 10, 2015 6:34 pm
Location: Canada
Byond Username: Qbopper
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Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Qbopper » Sat Jan 21, 2017 1:01 am #246290

MimicFaux wrote:So this one time, as a clown, I slipped the captain and THEN pied him in the face. Haha, so great.
Back on topic.


A clown tried to slip me when I was an officer once so I grabbed his PDA and beat him to fucking death because he's a clown

Spoiler:
actually i just slipped him back
Limey wrote:its too late.

Weepo
 
Joined: Sat Jan 07, 2017 3:52 pm
Byond Username: Weepo

Re: Stories of Awesome (Or something close to it.)

Postby Weepo » Sat Jan 21, 2017 4:01 am #246330

firecage wrote: :salt:



Nobody likes you, faggot.

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